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1
00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:06,090
( upbeat piano theme playing )
2
00:00:06,090 --> 00:00:09,090
I am sorry.
3
00:00:09,090 --> 00:00:13,100
I wish I could help both of you,
but there is nothing I can do.
4
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:16,100
I'm sorry,
but this is the only seat left
5
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:18,100
on our last flight to Boston.
6
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:19,600
But all the other airlines
are booked.
7
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,100
It's Christmas Eve.
8
00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:23,110
I have to be on that flight.
So do I.
9
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:24,110
Oh, well, let's see, uh,
10
00:00:24,110 --> 00:00:25,610
you both came up
at the same time,
11
00:00:25,610 --> 00:00:28,110
neither of you
had a reservation. Uh...
12
00:00:28,110 --> 00:00:33,120
I wish I could figure out
some fair way to decide. Uh.
13
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,620
I'll give you 25 bucks
more than the price.
14
00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:36,620
I'll give you 30.
Thirty-five.
15
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,120
Fifty.
Sixty.
16
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,120
Price of the ticket plus...
17
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:42,130
one hundred dollars.
18
00:00:42,130 --> 00:00:43,630
I really gotta get there.
19
00:00:43,630 --> 00:00:45,630
That's too rich for me.
You can have it.
20
00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:47,130
There you go.
21
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:50,630
Have a nice flight,
and a very merry Christmas.
22
00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:52,140
Yeah, yeah.
23
00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:56,140
How was I?
24
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:59,140
Perfect, doll. Perfect.
25
00:01:03,650 --> 00:01:06,150
God, I love Christmas!
26
00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:08,650
( upbeat piano theme playing )
27
00:01:12,660 --> 00:01:14,160
Buon Natale, everybody.
28
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:17,160
Merry Christmas, Antonio.
Where are you off to?
29
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,160
To Boston to share
a Christmas Eve dinner
30
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,660
with my cousin, Giacomo.
31
00:01:20,660 --> 00:01:22,170
Oh, that sounds lovely.
32
00:01:22,170 --> 00:01:24,170
Oh, yes. It will be just like
when we were boys in Italy.
33
00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:26,170
First we decorate the tree.
34
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:29,670
Then Giacomo puts the baby Jesus
in his grotto below.
35
00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:31,170
Right.
Then for dinner,
36
00:01:31,170 --> 00:01:34,680
I will carve
the traditional Christmas eel.
37
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,180
Hey, whoa, whoa,
back up a second.
38
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,680
Christmas eel?
39
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,680
Uh, yes. When I was a child,
we would--
40
00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,190
We would buy the eel
months before
41
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:44,190
and keep him in the tub.
42
00:01:44,190 --> 00:01:48,190
See? Then we would feed him
and nurture him and love him.
43
00:01:48,190 --> 00:01:51,190
There's nothing quite so special
as the relationship
44
00:01:51,190 --> 00:01:54,200
between a boy and his eel.
45
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,200
Silly me.
46
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:58,200
I just had a Barbie doll.
47
00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,200
My favorite eel was Giancarlo.
48
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:03,210
I still remember
his cute little face.
49
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:05,710
How it pained me to stick
the ice pick in his neck.
50
00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:07,210
Oh! Gosh!
51
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:10,210
You ate your pet
for Christmas?
52
00:02:10,210 --> 00:02:11,720
Of course not.
53
00:02:11,710 --> 00:02:14,220
We saved him for Easter.
54
00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:17,220
( drumming )
55
00:02:21,220 --> 00:02:23,730
What on earth
is all that pounding?
56
00:02:23,730 --> 00:02:25,230
Oh, good,
you hear it too.
57
00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:28,230
I thought my blood pressure
medicine was wearing off.
58
00:02:31,730 --> 00:02:34,240
Lowell, was that you?
Yes.
59
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,740
I got Lowell Junior
a set of drums for Christmas.
60
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,240
I'm gonna take them over
to him in Boston tonight.
61
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:42,750
What made you set them up here?
This is a place of business.
62
00:02:42,750 --> 00:02:43,750
Uh, Fay, he's only 6.
63
00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:45,250
I mean, what kind of parent
would I be
64
00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:48,250
if I didn't check
his toys out first for safety?
65
00:02:49,750 --> 00:02:53,760
I did the same thing last year
with that skill saw I gave him.
66
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,760
Won't all that drumming
67
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,760
just drive your poor ex-wife
out of her mind?
68
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,760
Yes. I hadn't thought
about that.
69
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,270
Ah, I guess that makes it
a gift for me too.
70
00:03:08,770 --> 00:03:10,770
Hey, Brian, look what I made
for our Christmas Eve.
71
00:03:10,770 --> 00:03:12,280
Helen, why--?
Why do you always do this?
72
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,280
Every year you make
a gorgeous gingerbread house,
73
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,280
and every year
you won't let us eat it.
74
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,280
Well, 'cause it's so cute.
75
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,280
Let me just have a little taste?
76
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:20,280
No.
Come on,
come on, come on.
77
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,290
I'll chew you a skylight.
78
00:03:22,290 --> 00:03:25,290
No. You know
how the tradition works.
79
00:03:25,290 --> 00:03:27,290
Every Christmas Eve
we go to my place,
80
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:29,290
we have a nice dinner,
we watch videos.
81
00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:30,790
And then after
you and Joe leave,
82
00:03:30,790 --> 00:03:33,300
I realize another year
has gone by and I'm still alone
83
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,800
and that's when Hurricane Helen
84
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,800
comes and sucks the roof
off this baby.
85
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,300
You must've had a real bad year.
86
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:41,810
I see you've added
a second story.
87
00:03:42,810 --> 00:03:44,310
Hey, hey.
88
00:03:44,310 --> 00:03:46,810
All right, Joe's here.
Let's get this show on the road.
89
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:47,810
What movie did you rent?
90
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,310
Well, uh, before you guys
get too excited,
91
00:03:49,310 --> 00:03:50,810
I think I should warn you
92
00:03:50,810 --> 00:03:53,320
that the holiday selection
was pretty lean this year.
93
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,820
Ooh, second story.
94
00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:56,320
Wow, breaking up
with that lawyer
95
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,320
must've hit you
pretty hard, huh?
96
00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:01,830
No, I'm completely over him.
97
00:04:01,820 --> 00:04:02,830
( sighs )
98
00:04:04,330 --> 00:04:05,830
So, what'd you rent,
Miracle on 34th Street?
99
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:08,330
No, no, they were all out.
Even the David Hartman version.
100
00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:11,330
Psycho?
101
00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:12,840
It's, uh,
102
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,840
more of a Mother's Day film,
isn't it?
103
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,840
Hey, would you look at this?
104
00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:22,350
They charged me
a 50-cent rewind fee
105
00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:23,850
for the movie
that I returned.
106
00:04:23,850 --> 00:04:25,850
I-I-I know
I rewound that.
107
00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:27,850
Yeah, so they made a mistake.
Let it go.
108
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,850
Aw, yeah, yeah, you're right.
It's only 50 cents.
109
00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:31,350
So, what time are you guys
coming over?
110
00:04:31,350 --> 00:04:32,860
Well, how about 8:00?
111
00:04:32,860 --> 00:04:34,360
Great.
You know what?
This is wrong.
112
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:35,860
I-I-I'm sure
that I rewound that movie.
113
00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:38,360
I'm gonna give them a call
and straighten this out.
114
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,360
Oh, I know how Joe feels.
115
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,870
I once got overcharged
for a pair of pumps at Filene's.
116
00:04:42,870 --> 00:04:44,870
The advertisement said
30 percent off,
117
00:04:44,870 --> 00:04:46,870
but the sales clerk
only gave me 20.
118
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,370
Now that I think of it,
119
00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:50,870
I'll bet that clerk
just pocketed the difference.
120
00:04:50,870 --> 00:04:52,880
That was almost 30 years ago,
121
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,880
so the 10 percent compounded
daily adds up to...
122
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,880
Well, enough to buy her
a closet full of shoes.
123
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:01,880
And all I've got to show for it
is a callous on my little toe
124
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,890
those lousy pumps gave me.
125
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:07,890
Oh, I'm--
I'm sorry.
126
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,390
Was that out loud?
127
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,400
I cannot believe this!
What?
128
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,400
You know, I-I-I called this kid
at the video store
129
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,900
and asked him very nicely
if he would please refund
130
00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:21,900
the 50-cent rewind fee.
131
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:23,910
He laughed
and hung up on me.
132
00:05:23,910 --> 00:05:24,910
Joe, now relax.
133
00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:26,410
We've got
a nice evening planned.
134
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:27,910
Just let it go.
Yeah, yeah.
135
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,410
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
136
00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:30,410
I mean, what am I gonna do,
137
00:05:30,410 --> 00:05:32,420
go down there
over a measly 50 cents?
138
00:05:32,420 --> 00:05:35,420
No, no, I'm not gonna let this
get under my skin.
139
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:40,920
Ah, who are you kidding?
140
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:41,920
Thank you.
141
00:05:43,930 --> 00:05:45,930
I think I'll go down there
with him.
142
00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:47,430
Uh, I'll return
this stupid tape.
143
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,930
I mean, they've gotta have
a copy of Fatal Attraction
144
00:05:49,930 --> 00:05:51,430
or Basic Instinct.
145
00:05:51,430 --> 00:05:53,440
Brian, it's Christmas!
146
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,940
Can't you think of anything
that doesn't have sex in it?
147
00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:57,940
Yeah. Our lives.
148
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:01,950
Come on. We'll eat this
in the car.
149
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,450
Antonio?
150
00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:10,950
Uh, I just spoke
to my cousin Giacomo.
151
00:06:10,950 --> 00:06:12,460
Is everything all right?
152
00:06:12,460 --> 00:06:13,960
No. He's coming down
with the mumps.
153
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,960
He's very contagious.
154
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:16,960
For the first time in our lives,
155
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,460
we will not spend Christmas
together.
156
00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:20,960
Oh, I'm sorry.
157
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,470
I guess tonight
it will just be Soup for One
158
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:26,470
and A Perry Como Christmas
in Caracas.
159
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:29,470
Hey, uh, if you want to,
160
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:32,480
you can join Mother and me
for Christmas Eve dinner.
161
00:06:33,980 --> 00:06:37,480
What? You think I got
a lump of coal for a heart?
162
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:41,480
No, no, really,
it's a very generous offer,
163
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,490
especially since otherwise
I would be so alone.
164
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:49,990
Oh! I'd invite you
to my house,
165
00:06:49,990 --> 00:06:52,500
but I'm going to the Berkshires
with my seniors group.
166
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:53,500
Hey, come on.
What's it gonna be?
167
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:57,000
I need to know how many
turkey pot pies to defrost.
168
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,000
I suppose
I could go to Giacomo's
169
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,510
and risk catching
a contagious disease.
170
00:07:04,010 --> 00:07:06,010
Big swollen glands.
171
00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:07,510
Roy's house.
172
00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:10,510
Possible sterility.
173
00:07:10,510 --> 00:07:12,520
Roy's house.
174
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:14,020
Come on! Come on.
175
00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:16,020
Please,
I just need a moment.
176
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:19,520
You're terrible!
177
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,520
You only take your mother
out of that nursing home
178
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,530
once a year on Christmas Eve.
179
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,030
I know you're inviting Antonio
180
00:07:25,030 --> 00:07:26,530
just so you'll have someone
to talk to.
181
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:29,030
Oh, Fay,
you couldn't be more wrong.
182
00:07:29,030 --> 00:07:32,540
I'm inviting him so Mom
will have someone to talk to.
183
00:07:32,540 --> 00:07:35,040
Okay, Roy, I've decided.
184
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,540
I would love...to join you.
185
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,540
Fine. Don't be late.
186
00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:41,540
Dinner hits the table at 7.
187
00:07:41,540 --> 00:07:44,050
And Mom's head's
never far behind.
188
00:07:44,050 --> 00:07:47,050
( upbeat piano theme playing )
189
00:07:49,550 --> 00:07:52,560
( mellow piano theme playing )
190
00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:04,070
Okay, I'll take care of this.
Now, you guys can try,
191
00:08:04,070 --> 00:08:06,570
but you're not gonna find
a better movie for Christmas.
192
00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:10,570
Oh, excuse me,
the line forms at the end.
193
00:08:10,570 --> 00:08:12,080
Oh, I-I'm not--
I'm not cutting in.
194
00:08:12,070 --> 00:08:13,580
I just got
a little problem.
195
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:16,080
Yeah, so do I.
You're cuttin' in.
196
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,580
Okay, who's next?
I am.
197
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,580
Uh, look, I've just got
a quick question here.
198
00:08:19,580 --> 00:08:20,580
Oh, you know what?
199
00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:23,590
You need to be at the end
of the quick-question line.
200
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,090
Uh, where's that?
201
00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:26,090
It's at the end of this one.
202
00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:27,090
( chuckles )
203
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:29,090
Kid, look, I called earlier
204
00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:31,090
about this 50-cent rewind fee.
205
00:08:31,090 --> 00:08:32,600
And you actually came down here?
206
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,100
( scoffs )
Not too sad.
207
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:38,100
Why don't we make this easy?
Just let me talk to the manager.
208
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,100
Okay, fine.
I'll get the manager.
209
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:42,610
( shouts ):
Hey, Carter, do you know
where the manager is?
210
00:08:42,610 --> 00:08:45,110
Well, yeah, Carter,
you're the manager!
211
00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:46,610
And whatever you say goes.
212
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:50,110
Well, I say he goes
to the end of the line.
213
00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:51,110
Sorry, man.
214
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:54,620
I went to bat for you.
215
00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:56,120
End of the line.
216
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,120
I don't believe this.
217
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,620
Oh, what's Joe talking about?
218
00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:02,130
There's plenty
of good movies here.
219
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,630
Here's one, Trading Places.
220
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:04,630
Hey, perfect.
221
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:05,630
Yeah, comedy,
Christmas theme,
222
00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:08,130
just the right amount
of nudity.
223
00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:10,130
Look, Brian, there's no nudity
in this film.
224
00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:12,640
Excuse me.
Approximately 45 minutes in,
225
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:15,140
Jamie Lee Curtis
takes her top off.
226
00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:17,640
Not tonight she doesn't.
227
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,640
Oh, you know, I wouldn't mind
seeing this one again,
228
00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:21,640
Kramer vs. Kramer.
229
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,650
You know, it's family,
it's loving, it's--
230
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:26,650
It's JoBeth Williams naked
in the hallway.
231
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:31,650
Is that all you remember
from a film, who's naked?
232
00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:33,660
Well, some people go out
humming a theme song.
233
00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:36,660
I'm sort of a nudity savant.
234
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:37,660
Go on, test me. Test me.
235
00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:41,160
Ah, that is, um,
Melanie Griffith,
236
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,670
vacuuming topless,
73 minutes in.
237
00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:47,170
Okay, Demi Moore,
kitchen scene,
238
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,670
backlit by
the refrigerator light.
239
00:09:50,170 --> 00:09:52,680
Ned Beatty,
scrambling up a hillside.
240
00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:55,180
Whoa, talk about
a mood breaker!
241
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:01,680
Okay, who's next?
242
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:04,190
Ha! It's Mr. 50 Cents.
243
00:10:04,190 --> 00:10:05,690
Should I get the manager
for ya?
244
00:10:05,690 --> 00:10:06,690
No, no, no, I just need you
245
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:08,690
to take this charge
off my bill.
246
00:10:08,690 --> 00:10:10,690
Well, it says right here
you didn't rewind Sea of Love.
247
00:10:10,690 --> 00:10:12,200
I don't care what it says.
248
00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:14,700
I rewound it. and,
uh, you owe me 50 cents.
249
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:15,700
( laughs )
250
00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:18,200
Look, I know in your day
50 cents was a lot of money--
251
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,200
Well...
252
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:24,210
"In my day"?
Come on, I'm in my 30s.
253
00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:26,210
So's my dad.
254
00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:28,210
Oh, come on! Come on!
It's not my fault!
255
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:30,210
This guy's freaking over
50 cents.
256
00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:32,210
Look, it's not the money!
257
00:10:32,210 --> 00:10:33,720
Look, if I give you
the 50 cents,
258
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,220
will you get the hell
out of here?
259
00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:37,220
Hey, hey, hey, lady,
it's not about the money.
260
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,220
It's about his attitude.
261
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,720
You want him talking
to you like this?
262
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:41,720
Absolutely.
It means you'd be gone,
263
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,730
and I'd be at the head
of the line.
264
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:45,230
Look, I am
a regular customer here,
265
00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:47,230
and I demand some satisfaction!
266
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:50,230
What's the matter? Sea of Love
didn't do it for you?
267
00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:51,730
You listen to me,
you little twerp--
268
00:10:51,730 --> 00:10:53,240
No need
to make a scene here, Pops.
269
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:54,740
You call me "Pops"
one more time,
270
00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:55,740
and I will make a scene!
271
00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:58,240
Well, fine! Well, fine!
Then I'll get the person
272
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,740
out here who rewinds the tapes.
Hey, Debbie! Come out here!
273
00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:02,250
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah, bring Debbie out here.
274
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:04,250
While you're at it,
bring out Tawny and Tammy
275
00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:05,750
and the whole rewinding team!
276
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:06,750
Hey, Joe--
277
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,750
Look, look, look,
this is important.
278
00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:09,750
I am doing this for all of us.
279
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:11,250
( groaning )
280
00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:12,760
That's right. That's right.
281
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,760
Okay, man, this is Debbie.
282
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,260
Go ahead, unload on her.
283
00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:24,270
Hello. Is there a problem?
284
00:11:24,270 --> 00:11:26,270
Yeah, well,
he says he rewound the tapes.
285
00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:28,270
He says
you screwed up, Debbie.
286
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:29,770
I'm sorry, sir.
287
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:33,280
I'm usually very accurate
with these things.
288
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:39,280
I know this won't make
it right, but please--
289
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:42,280
Oh, oh, no, no, no, I don't want
to take your money. I-I--
290
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:45,790
No, here, here.
291
00:11:45,790 --> 00:11:47,790
I don't need to take the bus.
292
00:11:49,290 --> 00:11:52,800
My doctor says
I can use the exercise.
293
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:53,800
Look at that!
294
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,800
He's taking her bus fare!
295
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,300
What do you want from her, Joe,
a pound of flesh?
296
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,300
It's practically all she's got.
297
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:05,810
Look, look, look,
I-I don't want your money.
298
00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:07,810
Listen, Debbie, I've had
problems with you before,
299
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,310
and I said I'd give you
one more chance.
300
00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:12,310
Well, that was it.
You're fired. See ya!
301
00:12:12,310 --> 00:12:14,320
What? What? Come on!
302
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:15,320
Are you satisfied now?
303
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:16,820
( grumbles and boos )
304
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:17,820
Come on, I didn't mean for--
305
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,820
I didn't want--
306
00:12:20,820 --> 00:12:23,830
( upbeat piano theme playing )
307
00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:26,830
( banging )
308
00:12:31,830 --> 00:12:34,840
Lowell Mather, get in here.
309
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,840
I don't know why everyone thinks
they can play the drums.
310
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,840
I mean, let any fool
get near a drum set,
311
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:40,840
suddenly he thinks
he's Buddy Rich.
312
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,350
but nobody walks
into an operating room,
313
00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:43,350
picks up a scalpel and says,
314
00:12:43,350 --> 00:12:46,350
"Oh! Open heart surgery!
Allow me."
315
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:50,350
Uh, merry Christmas.
316
00:12:51,350 --> 00:12:53,360
Hi. Did you call, Fay?
317
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:54,860
Oh, Lowell,
I asked you to stop that.
318
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:56,360
What do you think
you're doing out there?
319
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:59,860
Uh, that was the drum solo
to "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida."
320
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:02,870
How did it sound?
321
00:13:02,870 --> 00:13:06,870
Distracting, irritating,
and brain-numbingly loud!
322
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:09,870
All right,
I finally nailed it!
323
00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:14,880
Joe, quit blaming yourself.
You didn't fire the lady.
324
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,880
That stupid kid did.
325
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,880
But if I hadn't gone down there
and stirred things up,
326
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,880
that woman would still have
her job.
327
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,390
I feel terrible.
328
00:13:22,380 --> 00:13:24,390
Tell you what, Joe,
after the holidays are over,
329
00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:25,390
we'll make a few calls
and we'll see
330
00:13:25,390 --> 00:13:26,890
if we can't get her
another job.
331
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,390
Maybe she can get something
around here.
332
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:29,890
Tonight,
there's nothing you can do.
333
00:13:29,890 --> 00:13:32,400
So let's just try
to have a nice evening.
334
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:33,400
Yeah, the way we do
every year.
335
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,900
You'll eat too much,
I'll drink too much,
336
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,900
we'll lie on the floor,
loosen our pants--
337
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:38,900
I'll be disgusted.
338
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:40,400
Right! It's Christmas!
339
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:44,410
Yeah. So, what video
did you guys end up renting?
340
00:13:44,410 --> 00:13:45,910
We didn't.
341
00:13:45,910 --> 00:13:47,910
I don't blame you after that dog
you rented last night.
342
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,910
Sea of Love.
343
00:13:49,910 --> 00:13:51,410
Ugh, derivative plot,
344
00:13:51,410 --> 00:13:54,920
Pacino at his worst.
And Ellen Barkin. Sexy?
345
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:56,920
Uh, she looks like
one side of her face
346
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,920
has been asleep
on a bedspread.
347
00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:02,930
Lowell, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You watched that tape?
348
00:14:02,930 --> 00:14:04,930
Yeah, I mean,
I couldn't sleep last night,
349
00:14:04,930 --> 00:14:06,430
and it was lying there
on the coffee table.
350
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:08,930
So I just popped it
in the old VCR.
351
00:14:08,930 --> 00:14:10,930
You never rewound it,
did you?
352
00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:12,940
No, they do that
down at the store.
353
00:14:12,940 --> 00:14:14,940
Eh, sure, it costs 50 cents,
354
00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:16,940
but it seems to bring
a little joy
355
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:19,440
to that adorable old lady
who works there.
356
00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:24,950
Oh, unbelievable!
I gotta call this Carter.
357
00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:26,950
Maybe if I apologize and explain
to him what happened,
358
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,950
he'll let her
have her job back.
359
00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:30,950
( drumming )
360
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:37,460
Lowell! Stop that drumming
and come out here now!
361
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:39,460
Fay,
I'm right here.
362
00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:41,460
Oh! Well, then, who's d--?
363
00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:42,970
Oh.
364
00:14:42,970 --> 00:14:45,470
Sorry, Fay.
Those drums are like a magnet.
365
00:14:45,470 --> 00:14:47,470
Oh, so everybody
and his brother knows
366
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:48,970
how to play the drums,
right?
367
00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:51,970
Well, I'm putting a stop
to that right now.
368
00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:54,480
For what it's worth,
Roy, really dug your set.
369
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,480
( excellent drumming )
370
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,500
USO all-girl band, Korea,
371
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:18,000
1952.
372
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,000
( upbeat drum and piano theme
playing )
373
00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:32,010
Joe's been on the phone
an awful long time
374
00:15:32,010 --> 00:15:33,520
with that kid, huh?
375
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,020
Must be awful having
to beg and grovel
376
00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:39,520
at the complete mercy
of some 17-year-old airhead.
377
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,520
Just like his first date.
378
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,530
Hey, Joe.
What? What's wrong?
379
00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:47,030
Well, uh,
380
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,030
after we left,
381
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,530
Debbie was so upset
about being fired
382
00:15:49,530 --> 00:15:51,030
that she collapsed.
383
00:15:51,030 --> 00:15:52,540
Oh!
What?!
Is she all right?
384
00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:54,540
I don't know. They had
to take her to the hospital.
385
00:15:54,540 --> 00:15:56,540
Oh, my gosh.
That's awful.
386
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:59,040
It's not bad enough, it had
to happen on Christmas Eve.
387
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,040
And I-I feel responsible.
388
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:04,050
I mean, what--
What if she's down there alone?
389
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,550
I'd better go and see
if she's all right.
390
00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:07,050
We'll go with you, Joe.
Oh, no, no, no.
391
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:09,550
That's all right.
I'll catch up with you later.
392
00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:13,560
Do you think he really
wanted us to go with him?
393
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,560
Nah. I mean, if he did,
he'd be out in the parking lot
394
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,560
stalling, wearing that dopey,
hangdog expression on his face.
395
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,060
Yeah, you're right.
396
00:16:21,060 --> 00:16:22,570
Just to play it safe,
let's go out the back.
397
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,070
Yeah, let's do.
398
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,070
Okay, Roy,
I'm ready to experience
399
00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:32,070
a traditional
American Christmas dinner.
400
00:16:32,070 --> 00:16:35,080
Of course,
minus the loved ones.
401
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:38,080
Fine. Let's go pick up Mom
at the home.
402
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,580
Hey, what's that?
403
00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:41,080
Uh, it's a gift for your mother,
404
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,090
a box of Perigellis chocolates.
405
00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:45,590
Hey, what are you trying to do,
show me up?
406
00:16:45,590 --> 00:16:47,090
Give me that.
407
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:49,590
Didn't you get your mother
anything for Christmas?
408
00:16:49,590 --> 00:16:52,590
Sure I did. I paid for her
hip replacement. Come on.
409
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:58,600
( crying )
410
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,610
( mellow piano theme playing )
411
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:17,120
WOMAN ( over PA ):
X-ray technician on call,
412
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,120
please call the Emergency Room.
413
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:22,120
X-ray technician,
call the Emergency Room.
414
00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:27,630
Oh, uh, excuse me.
415
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,130
I thought this was
Deborah Murphy's room.
416
00:17:29,130 --> 00:17:31,130
This is her room.
Come on in.
417
00:17:31,130 --> 00:17:33,140
Oh, uh, no, no, no.
418
00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:34,640
I can see she already has
plenty of visitors.
419
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:38,640
Aw, never too many.
Come on in. Really. It's okay.
420
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,640
Oh, you must be
a really good friend of Mom's
421
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,140
to come down here
on Christmas Eve.
422
00:17:42,140 --> 00:17:44,150
I'm her son, Mike.
Hi, Mike.
423
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,650
I guess you heard about,
uh, what happened
424
00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:47,650
down at the store
with that customer.
425
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,650
Customer?
426
00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:51,650
Yeah, some guy came in
and took out
427
00:17:51,650 --> 00:17:54,660
all his holiday anger
on poor Mom.
428
00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:56,160
I'm sorry,
I didn't get your name.
429
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,660
Uh, Joe-- Ed--
430
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,160
Jed.
431
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,660
Jed. You know, like, uh--
Like the Clampetts.
432
00:18:02,660 --> 00:18:04,170
Look, I gotta get going.
433
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,670
Aw, Jed, you can't leave
without meeting
434
00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:07,170
the rest of the family.
435
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:08,670
This is my wife,
Jeanette.
Hello.
436
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:10,670
This is our boy Danny.
Hi, Danny.
437
00:18:10,670 --> 00:18:12,170
You must be excited
about Christmas, huh?
438
00:18:12,170 --> 00:18:13,680
All I want for Christmas
439
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:16,680
is for my Gammy
to be okay again.
440
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:23,190
Well, I'm sure that that's what
we all want for Gammy.
441
00:18:23,190 --> 00:18:25,690
And this is my sister Linda
and her husband Jerry.
442
00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:27,190
Hi.
How you doing?
443
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,190
Their two kids,
Mike and Kim.
444
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:29,690
Uncle Mel
and Aunt Adele.
445
00:18:29,690 --> 00:18:30,690
Hey, there.
446
00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:32,690
Ah, my mom's neighbors,
the Fergusons.
447
00:18:32,690 --> 00:18:34,200
Oh, hi, everyone.
448
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,700
And I guess
if you're a friend of Mom's,
449
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,700
I don't have to introduce you
to this dear lady.
450
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:43,210
You certainly don't.
451
00:18:43,210 --> 00:18:46,710
Well, you know, I just came
to see if your mother was okay.
452
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,710
Uh, i-is she?
453
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:51,210
Doctor said
it might be her heart.
454
00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:54,220
Or maybe even a small stroke.
455
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:56,720
Then again, she could sit up
at any minute
456
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,220
and ask for tapioca.
457
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,720
She just loves tapioca.
458
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,730
Well, you know what?
459
00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:05,730
Um, I have a lot of other
shut-ins that I gotta visit,
460
00:19:05,730 --> 00:19:06,730
so I'm just gonna--
461
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,230
Oh.
Oh, Jed!
462
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,230
Can't leave
without having some eggnog.
463
00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:11,730
Oh, wh-- You know what,
464
00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:13,240
I'd better not
because I'm driving.
465
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,240
It's alcohol-free.
466
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,740
Yeah, but I've got this, uh,
high cholesterol thing, and--
467
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:21,240
No eggs either.
It's Mom's recipe.
468
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,250
All right,
I guess I'll have some.
469
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:24,250
Great!
470
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:26,250
Hey, like the tree?
471
00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:27,250
Mmm.
472
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,750
We brought it in
from home.
473
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:31,750
We're just trying to make this
Christmas like every other year.
474
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:34,260
Except Mom's unconscious,
and we're in a hospital.
475
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:40,260
Jed, would you mind
talking to Mom?
476
00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:41,260
Talk to her?
477
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:42,770
Yeah, this might
sound silly,
478
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:43,770
but we've all been
talking to her
479
00:19:43,770 --> 00:19:45,770
in the hope that it might help
bring her around.
480
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:47,270
Why don't you give it a try?
481
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,770
Nah, I wouldn't know
what to say.
482
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:51,270
Oh, what you say
is not important.
483
00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:54,280
The idea is, is just hearing
a familiar, friendly voice
484
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,280
might do the trick.
485
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:56,780
Oh, please, Jed,
486
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,780
wouldn't it be something if,
when she wakes up,
487
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:01,780
yours is the very first face
she sees?
488
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:05,790
Yeah, yeah,
that'd be something.
489
00:20:05,790 --> 00:20:08,290
You know what?
I really have gotta take a--
490
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:11,290
Please, Jed, talk to Gammy.
491
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,300
Uh, okay. Okay, yeah.
492
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,800
Uh, Mrs. Murphy.
493
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,800
No, no,
closer, closer.
494
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:28,810
Mrs. Murphy?
495
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,310
Debbie?
496
00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:32,310
It's me...
497
00:20:32,310 --> 00:20:33,320
Jed.
498
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:41,820
I just wanted to say...
I'm sorry.
499
00:20:43,830 --> 00:20:45,330
( mumbling )
500
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,830
She spoke.
MIKE: What did she say?
501
00:20:50,830 --> 00:20:52,830
Jed, you gotta tell us,
what did she say?
502
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:59,840
Gur-gel-ga-gingin.
503
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,840
It's a miracle!
504
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,850
Oh, yes, it is,
Danny!
505
00:21:03,850 --> 00:21:04,850
I think this calls for a carol.
506
00:21:04,850 --> 00:21:05,850
Yes!
507
00:21:05,850 --> 00:21:06,850
How about Mom's favorite?
508
00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:08,850
Oh, yes,
"Joy to the World."
509
00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:13,360
Joy to the world
The Lord is come
510
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:17,360
Let Earth receive her king
511
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,860
Gammy, you're back!
512
00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:21,360
Mom!
513
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:22,870
We're all here,
514
00:21:22,860 --> 00:21:24,370
your whole family.
515
00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:26,370
Even your friend, Jed.
516
00:21:26,370 --> 00:21:29,370
Jed. Jed!
517
00:21:29,370 --> 00:21:31,370
Where did he go?
518
00:21:31,370 --> 00:21:33,380
He disappeared.
519
00:21:33,380 --> 00:21:36,380
Oh, my God, Mike,
it's like he was sent here,
520
00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:38,380
like an angel!
521
00:21:39,380 --> 00:21:40,880
( bell rings )
522
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,380
Listen, Daddy, a bell.
523
00:21:42,380 --> 00:21:44,890
Maybe Jed just got his wings.
524
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:49,890
( soft piano theme playing )
525
00:21:54,300 --> 00:22:06,910
( upbeat piano theme playing )
38093
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