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1
00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:04,590
( upbeat piano theme playing )
2
00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:08,090
Uh, your attention, please.
3
00:00:08,090 --> 00:00:11,090
Sandpiper Air Flight
Number 25 to Boston
4
00:00:11,090 --> 00:00:13,100
will now begin
boarding through--
5
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,100
You know what?
6
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:16,600
It might be fun if I gave you
an official farewell
7
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:19,600
in the language of the original
settlers of Nantucket,
8
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,100
the Algonquin Indians.
9
00:00:22,110 --> 00:00:24,610
( speaking in Algonquin )
10
00:00:25,610 --> 00:00:27,110
You're not likely
to hear that again,
11
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,110
seeing as how almost
the entire tribe
12
00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:31,620
was wiped out
in a flu epidemic.
13
00:00:31,610 --> 00:00:35,120
Apparently the Algonquin
were not a healthy people.
14
00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:38,120
I think what they lacked
was vitamin C.
15
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,120
Well, of course, try to grow
citrus in this climate.
16
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:42,130
Gate 1.
17
00:00:43,630 --> 00:00:46,630
( speaking in Algonquin )
18
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:48,630
( upbeat theme playing )
19
00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:56,640
Hey, Lowell.
20
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,140
Hey, Tucker!
21
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:00,140
Hey, Lo.
22
00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:01,140
Hey, Tuck.
23
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,650
Hey.
Hey.
24
00:01:03,650 --> 00:01:04,650
Hey, back at you.
25
00:01:04,650 --> 00:01:06,150
Hey, right back at you
with the "hey" thing.
26
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:08,650
So,
27
00:01:08,650 --> 00:01:10,150
Tucker,
what brings you here today?
28
00:01:10,150 --> 00:01:12,160
TUCKER:
It's Tuesday,
you mo-mo.
29
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,160
Oh, that's right.
30
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:14,160
I forgot.
31
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,160
Tuesday we go out
to the dump.
32
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,160
Uh, excuse me, Lowell.
33
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,660
Why do you go to the dump
on Tuesdays?
34
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,170
Mo-mo!
Mo-mo!
35
00:01:24,670 --> 00:01:26,670
On Tuesday nights
a bunch of us get together
36
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:29,670
and drive out to the dump
and shoot rats, Antonio.
37
00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:30,670
Ahem, I came
for some money.
38
00:01:30,670 --> 00:01:32,680
I need to buy
the beer and ammo.
39
00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,180
Beers, guns
and a bunch of idiots.
40
00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:37,180
Now, there's an episode
of Rescue 911
41
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,180
just waitin' to happen.
42
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,680
So you boys shoot rats?
43
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,190
Oh, eh.
44
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:45,190
It's much more involved
than that, Antonio.
45
00:01:45,190 --> 00:01:47,190
First, we drive out
to the dump
46
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:49,190
and we face our pickups
to the dump.
47
00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:50,690
Then we turn off
the lights
48
00:01:50,690 --> 00:01:53,200
and sit in the dark
drinking lots of beer.
49
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,200
Then at the stroke of 11
50
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,700
we bang on the lights,
51
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:58,200
and as the rats run
squealing for cover,
52
00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,200
we open fire.
53
00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:04,710
Making sure to lean out
the window first.
54
00:02:08,710 --> 00:02:10,210
So you wanna
join us tonight?
55
00:02:10,210 --> 00:02:12,220
Sounds like fun. Sure.
56
00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:13,220
Okay, great.
Great.
57
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:14,220
I'll see you later.
58
00:02:14,220 --> 00:02:16,220
See ya, Antonio.
59
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:18,220
Sure was nice meetin' you.
60
00:02:18,220 --> 00:02:20,720
Can't wait to see you
again tonight.
61
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,230
What'd you have to ask him
to come along for?
62
00:02:24,230 --> 00:02:26,730
Well, it seemed like the polite
thing to do at the time.
63
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,730
Besides, nobody ever
said "yes" before.
64
00:02:31,730 --> 00:02:32,740
Joe, Joe.
65
00:02:32,740 --> 00:02:34,240
Joe, who do I talk to
66
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:35,740
about getting somebody
banned from the airport?
67
00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:37,240
Some jerkwater
helicopter pilot
68
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,240
crosses right in front
of me on takeoff!
69
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:40,240
What? You too?
70
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,750
That idiot cut me off
this morning!
71
00:02:41,740 --> 00:02:44,250
Oh, what is this?
"Nantucket Helicopter Tours"?
72
00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:46,250
How'd this guy ever get
set up on the island anyway?
73
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:47,750
Brian!
Oh, Helen.
74
00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:48,750
Helen, please, okay?
75
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:49,750
This is pilot-talk.
76
00:02:49,750 --> 00:02:51,250
Don't you have an egg to fry
or somethin'?
77
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,260
I know what you mean, Brian.
78
00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:55,760
Just what we don't need
around here is
79
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,260
some hotshot
chopper pilot.
80
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:59,260
I'm tellin' ya. This guy's
gotta be taught a lesson.
81
00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:00,260
I say, we find
the son of a--
82
00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:02,270
You just found her.
83
00:03:02,270 --> 00:03:03,270
You're--?
You're the--?
84
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,270
HELEN:
Boys, meet Alex Lambert,
85
00:03:05,270 --> 00:03:07,770
owner of Nantucket
Helicopter Tours.
86
00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:10,270
Alex,
meet the Hackett brothers.
87
00:03:10,270 --> 00:03:12,280
That's Brian
and that's Joe.
88
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,780
I would go
into more depth, but...
89
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,280
there is none.
90
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,280
Charmed.
91
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:20,280
Oh, by the way, slick,
92
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:21,790
I get my clearance
from the tower,
93
00:03:21,780 --> 00:03:23,790
so if you have a traffic
problem, talk to them.
94
00:03:23,790 --> 00:03:25,790
Entirely reasonable...
The tower's the problem..
95
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:30,790
Wow, talk about
drop-dead gorgeous.
96
00:03:30,790 --> 00:03:32,300
Oh, man,
you're tellin' me.
97
00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:33,300
We're talkin'
no wedding ring
98
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,300
or visible panty lines.
99
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,800
Let's just get this
straight, Brian.
100
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,300
I am the one
who's askin' her out. Okay?
101
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:42,310
Joe, Joe, Joe,
102
00:03:42,310 --> 00:03:44,310
that woman is
a thoroughbred, okay?
103
00:03:44,310 --> 00:03:45,810
I'm a world-class jockey.
104
00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:48,310
You are Merle,
the stable boy.
105
00:03:49,310 --> 00:03:50,810
So-- So just--
106
00:03:50,810 --> 00:03:52,320
Just brush your tooth,
107
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,820
and if I need you,
I'll call you, okay?
108
00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:55,820
Excuse me, guys?
109
00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:57,320
Talk-- Talk to him.
I'm busy.
110
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,820
So, Alex?
111
00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:00,320
Yes.
I don't know if, uh--
112
00:04:01,820 --> 00:04:03,830
Uh...
113
00:04:03,830 --> 00:04:05,330
Helen.
Right, Helen.
114
00:04:05,330 --> 00:04:06,830
I don't know if, uh,
Helen told you,
115
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,830
but I'm the owner
of Sandpiper Air.
116
00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:11,330
Oh, I've seen
your airline, ace.
117
00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:13,340
The, uh, little blue
and white job?
118
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,840
It's cute.
119
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,840
Ah, cute's pretty much
what you were shootin' for,
120
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,840
wasn't it, Joe?
121
00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:20,340
Oh, about the nicknames.
122
00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:22,850
Sorry, I'm really awful
with names.
123
00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:24,350
Oh, hey, no, no, no,
that's fine. That's fine.
124
00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:25,850
Uh, I kinda like "slick."
125
00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:27,350
Actually in the market
for a new nickname.
126
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:30,350
Gettin' a little sick
of the old one, "the piston."
127
00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:33,860
BRIAN:
So, uh...
128
00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:36,360
Where'd a gal like you ever
learn to fly a chopper, huh?
129
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,360
"Gal."
130
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,360
Forgive him.
131
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,360
We only recently chipped him
out of a glacier.
132
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,370
No, no, no,
all I meant was--
133
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:44,370
That's okay, slick.
I'll give you one for free.
134
00:04:44,370 --> 00:04:45,870
I learned to fly
in the Army.
135
00:04:45,870 --> 00:04:47,370
Flew an Apache
in Desert Storm.
136
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,370
Really--?
You were in the Army?
137
00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:50,870
Having trouble wrapping
138
00:04:50,870 --> 00:04:52,880
your mind
around that one?
139
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,380
Oh, no, no, no.
My mind is fully wrapped.
140
00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:56,880
So, uh, what, uh--?
141
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:57,880
What brings you
to Nantucket?
142
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:58,880
When my tour was up,
143
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:01,380
I went into business
down in Florida.
144
00:05:01,380 --> 00:05:03,390
And I thought I'd try it up here
and see if I like it any better.
145
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:04,890
Oh, really?
Really, well--
146
00:05:04,890 --> 00:05:06,890
You know, you being from
the military and all, Alex,
147
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,890
uh, we might have
a lot in common
148
00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:10,390
because I was in NASA.
149
00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:11,900
Phew!
150
00:05:11,890 --> 00:05:13,900
Did you by any chance
know Chris Matthews?
151
00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:15,400
You know, Brian wasn't
at NASA too long.
152
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:16,400
( splutters )
153
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,900
BRIAN:
Uh, it just so happens
154
00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:22,910
that I do know
Chris Matthews,
155
00:05:22,910 --> 00:05:23,910
a great guy.
156
00:05:23,910 --> 00:05:25,910
Chris Matthews
is a woman.
157
00:05:25,910 --> 00:05:26,910
Well, yes,
I know that.
158
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:27,910
I know that.
But I, see--
159
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,910
I meant guy in that--
In that non-specific,
160
00:05:29,910 --> 00:05:30,910
gender-free...
161
00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:33,920
unisex kind of way.
162
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:34,920
Yeah, like Miss America.
163
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:35,920
What a great guy.
164
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,420
I gotta go.
165
00:05:38,420 --> 00:05:39,920
HELEN:
Okay, bye.
166
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:40,920
I-I'll see you guys.
167
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,430
And I mean that
in that, uh,
168
00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:47,430
non-specific, gender-free,
unisex kind of way.
169
00:05:50,430 --> 00:05:52,440
Well,
170
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:53,940
I wish you two would
stop acting like...
171
00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:57,440
Oh, brother.
172
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:57,940
( clang )
173
00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:01,440
I wish you two
would stop acting
174
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,950
like a couple
of hormone-crazed,
175
00:06:03,950 --> 00:06:06,450
sex-starved teenagers.
176
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:07,950
Oh, come on!
Get outta here!
177
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,950
Hey, boys, boys,
save your energy.
178
00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:10,950
I know women.
179
00:06:10,950 --> 00:06:11,950
That lady
doesn't even know
180
00:06:11,950 --> 00:06:13,460
the two of you
are alive.
181
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,460
There's a certain...
182
00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:16,460
look they get
when they're not interested.
183
00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:20,460
Now could you get
a more expert opinion?
184
00:06:22,470 --> 00:06:23,470
Joe, Joey,
185
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:24,970
this is actually
really very simple.
186
00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:27,970
See, I sense
that Alex desires fun.
187
00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:28,970
I am fun.
188
00:06:28,970 --> 00:06:30,470
You're not fun.
189
00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:31,470
End of story, okay?
190
00:06:31,470 --> 00:06:32,480
Don't be pushin' me.
191
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,480
Hey, don't be
pullin' me, okay?
192
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,480
I can't believe you brought
up that old NASA story.
193
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,480
At least I have
a story, man.
194
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:38,480
What have you got
to brag about?
195
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,480
The time you built
that patio furniture?
196
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,990
Hey, I got a lot
of compliments about that.
197
00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:48,990
I remember once when I had
two men chasing after me.
198
00:06:48,990 --> 00:06:50,990
Oh, I bet you were flattered
by all the attention, right?
199
00:06:50,990 --> 00:06:51,990
Not really.
200
00:06:51,990 --> 00:06:54,500
When they caught me,
they stole my purse.
201
00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:00,000
That could very well
have been the purse
202
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,500
where Fay kept
all her marbles.
203
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,010
( snickers )
204
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:09,510
( upbeat theme playing )
205
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:14,020
Morning, Helen.
Hey!
206
00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:15,020
Some coffee, please?
207
00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:16,020
Sure, Alex.
208
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,020
Fay, can you
handle this?
209
00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:22,020
( grunts )
210
00:07:29,030 --> 00:07:30,030
I was gonna sit there.
211
00:07:30,030 --> 00:07:31,530
No, no,
I was gonna sit there.
212
00:07:31,530 --> 00:07:33,540
Tough luck, boys.
The eagle has landed.
213
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,540
You're welcome
to take this one.
214
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,540
Look who's sittin' here.
215
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:40,040
Alex, we didn't
even see ya.
216
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,040
Hey, Alex.
How are ya?
217
00:07:43,050 --> 00:07:44,050
HELEN AND ALEX:
Thanks.
218
00:07:44,050 --> 00:07:45,550
Excuse me, boys.
219
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:48,550
Oh, uh, one more thing.
220
00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:50,550
Sure, anything.
Anything you want.
221
00:07:50,550 --> 00:07:52,060
I was talking to Helen.
222
00:07:52,050 --> 00:07:54,060
Can you recommend a good
health club on the island?
223
00:07:54,060 --> 00:07:56,060
Oh, well, I can recommend
the only one.
224
00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:57,560
That's the Water Street Gym.
225
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,560
Thanks.
Okay.
226
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,060
Oh, feel free
to fight over my seat.
227
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,070
I thought
that's what they were doing.
228
00:08:10,570 --> 00:08:12,580
Hey, Lowell,
229
00:08:12,580 --> 00:08:15,580
that was some good time
out at the dump last night.
230
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,080
Yeah, huh?
231
00:08:19,580 --> 00:08:22,090
I guess
I got pretty lucky.
232
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,590
Oh, I would call it
more than luck.
233
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,590
You bagged more rats
in one night
234
00:08:25,590 --> 00:08:27,590
than anyone else has gotten
in two years.
235
00:08:28,590 --> 00:08:29,590
Well...
236
00:08:30,590 --> 00:08:32,100
I sure like
your friends.
237
00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:34,100
And they seemed
to like you too.
238
00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:35,600
Or maybe that didn't
occur to you
239
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,600
when they hoisted you
on their shoulders
240
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,100
and paraded you around
the pile of burning tires.
241
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:43,610
It's all still
such a blur.
242
00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:46,610
Anyway, your friend,
243
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,610
"Hey" Tucker,
called me last night.
244
00:08:48,610 --> 00:08:50,110
Tucker called you?
245
00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:51,110
Well, yeah.
246
00:08:51,110 --> 00:08:52,620
He said everyone
had such fun
247
00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:55,620
they want to have
another rat shoot tonight.
248
00:08:55,620 --> 00:08:58,620
Well, what do you and
your cronies have planned next?
249
00:08:58,620 --> 00:08:59,620
A Caribbean cruise?
250
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,130
Hello.
Hi.
251
00:09:04,130 --> 00:09:05,130
Ooh, what's wrong
with Lowell?
252
00:09:05,130 --> 00:09:06,630
He seems upset
253
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:09,630
that I shot better
last night than he did.
254
00:09:09,630 --> 00:09:10,630
Oh, you didn't
show him up
255
00:09:10,630 --> 00:09:13,640
in front of his Tuesday-night
rat club, did you?
256
00:09:14,140 --> 00:09:15,640
Well...
257
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,640
I suppose shooting
that one rat
258
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,640
over my shoulder
with the mirror
259
00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:21,140
may have been
over the line.
260
00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:25,150
How can I make things right?
261
00:09:25,150 --> 00:09:27,150
Did you ever see a musical
called Annie Get Your Gun?
262
00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:30,150
No.
263
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:32,150
Well, it's about
this cowgirl,
264
00:09:32,150 --> 00:09:33,660
and she's in love
with a man,
265
00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:35,160
but it's not working out
266
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,660
because she is
a better shot than he is.
267
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,160
So-- So to win him over,
268
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,160
she arranges
to let him beat her
269
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,170
in a shooting contest.
270
00:09:43,170 --> 00:09:44,670
Well, it's blatantly sexist,
271
00:09:44,670 --> 00:09:48,170
but I always seem to tap
my toe in spite of myself.
272
00:09:49,670 --> 00:09:51,670
Uh, you see
what I'm suggesting?
273
00:09:51,670 --> 00:09:54,680
You're saying to win back
Lowell's friendship,
274
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:56,680
I should take him
to a musical.
275
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:58,680
Sit down, dear.
276
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:01,680
Now,
277
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:04,690
we'll go over it
one more time.
278
00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:06,690
( mellow theme playing )
279
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,200
How you doin'?
280
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:21,700
( grunts )
281
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,210
Boy, I wish I knew
you were gonna be here.
282
00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:26,710
I got a jar
of artichoke hearts at home.
283
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,210
Can't get the lid off
the damn thing,
284
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:30,210
for the life of me.
285
00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:31,710
( laughs )
286
00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:36,720
Buff, silent type.
287
00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:46,230
What the hell
are you doin' here?
288
00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:47,730
Oh, right now I'm composing
a thank-you note
289
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:50,730
to the man
who invented spandex.
290
00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:51,730
Come on, Brian.
Admit it.
291
00:10:51,730 --> 00:10:53,740
You were hopin'
to bump into Alex.
292
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:56,240
Oh, and just what do
you think you're doin' here?
293
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,240
Hopin' the Village People
make a comeback?
294
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,740
I mean, what is this?
295
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:02,750
This your idea
of a beard?
296
00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:04,750
You look like a Chia Pet.
Yeah.
297
00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:06,250
Ah, stop that!
298
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:08,250
Blindman's bluff.
Hey, wait a second.
299
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,250
( arguing indistinctly )
300
00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:10,750
Oh, hey, hey, Brian,
look who's here.
301
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:12,260
Oh, hey,
hey, hey, Alex.
302
00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:13,260
Who'da guessed
you'd be around?
303
00:11:13,260 --> 00:11:14,760
Anyone who was
standing there
304
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:16,760
when I asked Helen
which gym to go to.
305
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,260
Oh, yeah.
Well, let's, uh,
306
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:19,760
take a little run.
307
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:20,760
Ah, there's nothin' like it.
308
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,270
Are you a runner?
309
00:11:23,270 --> 00:11:25,270
They kind of encourage it
in the Army.
310
00:11:25,270 --> 00:11:27,770
Oh, yeah, right.
Of course they do.
311
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,270
Yeah, I just do it to, uh,
312
00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:30,770
keep up
the old cardiovascular.
313
00:11:30,770 --> 00:11:32,280
I love it.
314
00:11:32,270 --> 00:11:33,780
My brother.
315
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,280
He's, uh--
He's so modest,
316
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:36,780
you know, he's, like--
317
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,780
You'd never ever
hear it from him
318
00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:40,780
that he was one
of the best milers
319
00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:42,790
who ever came out
of 'Sconset High.
320
00:11:42,790 --> 00:11:44,290
( chuckling ):
Brian, uh...
321
00:11:44,290 --> 00:11:45,290
I really don't think
322
00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:48,290
Alex is interested
in, uh...
323
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:49,290
Huh!
324
00:11:49,290 --> 00:11:50,790
Boy, this is invigorating!
325
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:53,800
Do they...
326
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:54,800
actually...
327
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,800
have a nurse here
on the premises?
328
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,300
Excuse me.
329
00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:03,310
I'm gonna go work
on my deltoids.
330
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:05,310
I don't know what those are,
but if you get tired,
331
00:12:05,310 --> 00:12:06,310
I'll work 'em
for ya.
332
00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:07,310
Oh, hey, wait.
333
00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:10,310
So, um...
334
00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:13,320
You never mentioned, uh,
335
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:14,820
where you're from originally.
336
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:16,820
Look, when I come
to the gym,
337
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:18,320
I come to work out.
338
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,320
I'm not here
to socialize.
339
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,320
Oh, hey, hey,
hey, me too.
340
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:21,320
I'm there, okay?
341
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:22,320
Cool.
342
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:23,830
'Cause--
'Cause, you know,
343
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:24,830
when I'm here,
when I'm at the gym,
344
00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:25,830
you know,
I'm in a zone.
345
00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:27,330
Just...
346
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,330
Just-- It's me,
347
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:29,830
my machine
and my muscle group,
348
00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:30,830
you know?
349
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,340
Slick.
350
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:41,840
Excuse me.
351
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:42,850
I'm tryin'
to focus, okay?
352
00:12:45,350 --> 00:12:45,850
( grunts )
353
00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:49,850
When you're
through focusing,
354
00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:50,850
you might wanna
turn around
355
00:12:50,850 --> 00:12:52,360
because you're in
that thing backwards.
356
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:56,860
Well, uh,
357
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:58,360
apparently you don't know
358
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,860
how they use this machine
over in Europe.
359
00:13:02,870 --> 00:13:03,870
Well,
360
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,370
about ready
for some, uh,
361
00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:06,370
leg presses, huh?
362
00:13:08,870 --> 00:13:09,870
Three hundred.
363
00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:11,870
About my weight.
364
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:14,880
Okay.
365
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,880
( breathes rapidly )
366
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:17,880
( grunts )
367
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,380
Okay.
368
00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:20,380
Oh...
369
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:22,380
Oh, okay,
okay, okay--
370
00:13:22,380 --> 00:13:23,390
Little help,
little help here,
371
00:13:23,390 --> 00:13:24,890
little help...
You need some help?
372
00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:26,390
Yeah, Joe, no, no...
There we are.
373
00:13:26,390 --> 00:13:27,890
No, no, no...
374
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:31,390
Oh, no, a little harder.
No, no...
375
00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:33,400
No, help,
help, help...
376
00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:41,400
Well, I'll see
you around, ace.
377
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,410
I'm gonna go do a guts
and butts class.
378
00:13:43,410 --> 00:13:44,910
I'm right
behind you.
379
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:47,410
Oh, boy.
380
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,410
Oh, I've got a wedgie
happening here
381
00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:51,410
you wouldn't believe.
382
00:13:51,410 --> 00:13:52,410
Ow.
383
00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:57,420
( upbeat theme playing )
384
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:03,930
Lowell, I never saw shooting
like that before in my life.
385
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:06,430
Especially that one rat
you picked off the hood
386
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:08,430
of that rusted-out Buick.
387
00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:10,930
You were like
a man possessed,
388
00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:11,930
and believe me,
389
00:14:11,930 --> 00:14:13,440
I know whereof I speak.
390
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,940
Well, I don't know what happened
to you last night, Antonio,
391
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,940
but the guys sure got
a kick out
392
00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:21,440
of how you couldn't hit
any rats.
393
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:22,440
( chuckles )
394
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,950
Even the big,
slow dumb ones.
395
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:26,950
Hey!
396
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,450
I was talkin'
about the rats, Tom.
397
00:14:31,950 --> 00:14:34,960
Well, I guess that first night
must have been beginner's luck.
398
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:35,960
Well, I guess it was.
399
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,960
Oh, look at the time.
400
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,460
Gotta run. I am performing
that brain surgery at 9.
401
00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:42,460
( all laugh )
402
00:14:45,470 --> 00:14:47,970
And I got a meeting with
the board of directors at 11.
403
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,970
( all laugh )
404
00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:51,470
And let's not forget about
405
00:14:51,470 --> 00:14:52,980
our 4:00 tee-off time
at the country club.
406
00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:55,480
( all laugh )
407
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:56,480
This is really funny,
408
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:57,980
but what do
we do anyway?
409
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,490
You sure are lucky
to have such friends.
410
00:15:03,490 --> 00:15:04,490
Yeah, I know.
411
00:15:05,990 --> 00:15:08,490
But I'm lucky
to have you also, Antonio.
412
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:09,990
What do you mean,
Lowell?
413
00:15:09,990 --> 00:15:12,500
Well, I know what you did
last night. I mean--
414
00:15:12,490 --> 00:15:14,000
You missed those rats
on purpose
415
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,500
just to make me look good
in front of my friends.
416
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,000
How did
you figure it out?
417
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,500
Well, pfft, I may be
a humble mechanic,
418
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:22,500
but I know
my musical theater.
419
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,010
Annie Get Your Gun,
420
00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:32,520
Imperial Theater, 1946,
421
00:15:32,510 --> 00:15:35,520
1041 performances.
422
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,520
The Merm was brilliant.
423
00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:44,030
Mornin', Helen.
Mr. Universe.
424
00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:47,030
Helen, listen, uh,
have you seen Alex?
425
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,030
Because I've got
these fresh--
426
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,530
Yeah, forget it, Joe.
She's not here.
427
00:15:49,530 --> 00:15:50,530
Oh.
428
00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:55,040
Oh, daisies
for Alex.
429
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:58,540
What a magnificently
uninspired choice.
430
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:01,040
Yeah, well, Brian,
normally I would agree with you,
431
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:03,550
but, uh, Alex's mother tells me
they're her favorite.
432
00:16:03,550 --> 00:16:05,050
Her mother?
Oh, yeah.
433
00:16:05,050 --> 00:16:06,550
We had a lovely little chat
this morning.
434
00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:07,550
See, I got her number
435
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,550
from the application
to the health club.
436
00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:11,550
You called
her mother?
437
00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:13,560
You called her mother?
438
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:14,560
Well, I didn't call
her "mother" yet.
439
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:17,060
For now it's still Adele.
440
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:20,060
Oh, man! That is--
That-- That--
441
00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:22,060
That is an end run, brother!
442
00:16:22,060 --> 00:16:23,070
I cannot believe
you sunk so low.
443
00:16:23,070 --> 00:16:24,070
I can't believe--
444
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:25,070
I can't believe
I didn't
445
00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:26,070
come up
with it myself.
446
00:16:26,070 --> 00:16:27,070
But I--
I can't--
447
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,070
Helen, he's upset.
Brain vein.
448
00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:30,070
Brain vein.
Gimme that!
449
00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:31,070
No, no.
Get your own.
450
00:16:31,070 --> 00:16:32,580
Give it to me!
Sit and be quiet!
451
00:16:32,570 --> 00:16:33,580
No, I'm not
gonna be quiet!
452
00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:34,580
Sit! Sit.
453
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,080
I would like to inform
the two of you
454
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,580
that you've been
behaving like asses.
455
00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:43,090
When are you gonna learn
456
00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:45,090
that when both of y'all fall
for the same woman,
457
00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:46,590
it's always trouble?
458
00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:49,590
Remember Teresa Flayhive
in seventh grade?
459
00:16:49,590 --> 00:16:50,590
Huh?
460
00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:53,100
And what about Peggy Springer
in high school?
461
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,600
Oh, and let's not forget
462
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,600
the infamous Carol.
463
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:57,600
Or have you forgotten
464
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,100
your ex-fiancée
and your ex-wife?
465
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:01,600
Now, th-that was--
That was very different
466
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,610
'cause Carol couldn't fly
a helicopter.
467
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:08,610
That's it.
468
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:11,110
I wash my hands
of this whole thing.
469
00:17:12,110 --> 00:17:14,120
Think maybe
she has a point?
470
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,620
Oh, I don't know. Maybe.
471
00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:17,620
We have been actin'
pretty goofy the last few days.
472
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:18,620
Oh, yeah.
473
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:20,620
Yeah, maybe we have
gone over the edge.
474
00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:21,620
Yeah. So, what--
So what do you say?
475
00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:23,130
We both stay
away from her?
476
00:17:23,130 --> 00:17:24,130
Yeah, I think
it'd be good
477
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:25,630
if we just let
the whole thing go.
478
00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:27,630
Yeah, I think we have to.
And you know why?
479
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,130
Because we are
the Hackett brothers.
480
00:17:29,130 --> 00:17:30,630
We don't let anything
come between us.
481
00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:32,130
Am I right?
You're right.
482
00:17:32,130 --> 00:17:34,140
We don't go chasin'
after the same women.
483
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:35,640
They only come
chasin' after us.
484
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,640
Absolutely.
And we are in control.
485
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,640
Yes!
Yes!
486
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,140
Hey, you two.
We're havin' a meeting.
487
00:17:41,140 --> 00:17:42,650
Right now.
In the office.
488
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:44,650
( scoffs )
489
00:17:44,650 --> 00:17:45,650
Get--
490
00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:47,150
Who does
she think she's--?
491
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,150
We're the Hackett brothers.
492
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,650
Nobody bosses us around.
493
00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:50,650
Yeah, you're damn right.
494
00:17:50,650 --> 00:17:52,150
I say we make her wait.
495
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:53,660
That's long enough.
Let's go.
496
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,160
Well, Alex, it's, uh,
497
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:00,660
really kind of good
that you're here
498
00:18:00,660 --> 00:18:02,660
because we need to--
Let's let this be my meeting.
499
00:18:02,660 --> 00:18:03,670
Okay?
500
00:18:03,670 --> 00:18:05,670
( chuckling ):
Okay.
501
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:11,170
Now, I'm on Nantucket to get
my business up and running.
502
00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:13,180
And the last thing I want
503
00:18:13,180 --> 00:18:16,680
or have time for
is a new relationship.
504
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:17,680
So, you see,
505
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,180
you guys are spending
way too much time
506
00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:22,690
pursuing something
that's not gonna happen.
507
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,190
Now you can brag,
you can exercise,
508
00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:26,690
you can even
509
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:29,190
sit there with those goofy looks
on your faces
510
00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:31,190
and act like you don't know
what I'm talking about.
511
00:18:32,190 --> 00:18:33,200
Whatever you do,
512
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,200
stop it.
513
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,700
Are you finished?
Ho, ho, ho, man.
514
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,700
Because before you start
feelin' just--
515
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:40,200
Just a little too good
about yourself.
516
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,200
Right.
517
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,200
We have already decided
518
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,710
that we're gonna stop
chasin' after you.
519
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:45,210
That's right.
That's right.
520
00:18:45,210 --> 00:18:47,210
'Cause, uh, we're
the Hackett brothers.
521
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,710
You know
what that means?
522
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,210
Hm, let's see.
523
00:18:50,210 --> 00:18:51,710
I know it isn't
cough drops.
524
00:18:51,710 --> 00:18:53,720
I will tell you.
525
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,220
It means that when
it comes to women,
526
00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:56,720
we are in control.
527
00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:00,720
See, you're not interested
in us.
528
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:01,720
We are not interested
in you.
529
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,730
And the world will
just go on a-spinnin'.
530
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,230
Fine.
531
00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:11,730
So this is good.
We have an understanding.
532
00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:12,730
Yes, we do.
533
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,740
You know,
534
00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:18,240
maybe this is all
for the best because
535
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,740
when you get
right down to it,
536
00:19:19,740 --> 00:19:22,240
I really find only
one of you attractive.
537
00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:33,760
Huh?
Huh?
538
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:37,760
What's up?
539
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,760
I think
I just did a bad thing.
540
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,260
Oh, I like
the sound of that.
541
00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:43,270
Let's hear it.
542
00:19:43,270 --> 00:19:45,770
What does she think
she's tryin' to pull, huh?
543
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:46,770
We're the Hackett brothers.
544
00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:48,270
We're in control.
Am I right?
545
00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:52,780
Heh, Joe,
am I right?
546
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:00,280
Why would she say that?
547
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:01,780
Payback, I guess.
548
00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:03,290
For putting up
with all their nonsense.
549
00:20:03,290 --> 00:20:04,290
Mm-hm.
550
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:05,790
I mean,
you're a woman, Helen.
551
00:20:05,790 --> 00:20:06,790
You know
what it's like
552
00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:08,790
when guys are hitting
on you all the time.
553
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:10,790
Oh, well, ye--
554
00:20:10,790 --> 00:20:11,790
Yeah, I do.
555
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:14,300
Well, you know,
I think it was
556
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:15,300
pretty obvious
who she meant.
557
00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:16,800
I mean, she was
lookin' right at me.
558
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,300
She was-- She was lookin'
through you to look at me.
559
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:20,300
Oh, no.
560
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:21,300
She was not.
Yes, she was.
561
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:22,300
Yes, she was.
No, she was not.
562
00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:23,810
Yes, she was.
No, she wasn't.
563
00:20:23,810 --> 00:20:24,810
Stop it.
It's happening again.
564
00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:25,810
No, it is not.
Yes, it is.
565
00:20:25,810 --> 00:20:26,810
It is not.
Yes, it is.
566
00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:28,310
Stop it!
567
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:30,810
Oh, I'm feelin'
a little guilty.
568
00:20:30,810 --> 00:20:32,810
I mean,
they're really not bad guys.
569
00:20:32,810 --> 00:20:33,820
They're just...
570
00:20:33,820 --> 00:20:35,320
Jerks.
Yeah!
571
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,320
Well, I'm gonna
go in there
572
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:39,320
and let them
off the hook.
573
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:40,820
What? No way!
Don't you dare.
574
00:20:40,820 --> 00:20:41,820
They deserve this.
575
00:20:41,820 --> 00:20:43,830
Let that little bur stay
under their saddles
576
00:20:43,830 --> 00:20:45,330
till it rubs 'em
good and raw.
577
00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:48,330
I'm impressed.
578
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:49,830
You know,
behind that
579
00:20:49,830 --> 00:20:51,330
sweet, innocent exterior
580
00:20:51,330 --> 00:20:54,340
you may actually be
worse than I am.
581
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:55,840
Oh, you're
just sayin' that.
582
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:58,840
Listen here, missy.
583
00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:01,840
We were
in there talkin'
584
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:05,350
and we decided that
we were not born yesterday.
585
00:21:05,350 --> 00:21:06,350
Yeah, that's right.
You see,
586
00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:07,850
we are the Hackett brothers.
587
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:09,350
You're in control,
right?
588
00:21:09,350 --> 00:21:11,350
Just as advertised.
589
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:12,860
Yeah. Oh, yeah,
and that little, uh,
590
00:21:12,850 --> 00:21:14,360
stunt that you just
pulled in there
591
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:15,860
about finding only
one of us attractive--
592
00:21:15,860 --> 00:21:17,360
That was a very nice try,
593
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:18,860
but we know a bluff
when we see it,
594
00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:19,860
and that was a bluff.
595
00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:21,860
You're right.
It was.
596
00:21:21,860 --> 00:21:23,370
Yeah, you're darned right--
What?
597
00:21:24,870 --> 00:21:26,370
It was a bluff.
598
00:21:26,370 --> 00:21:28,370
I don't find either one
of you attractive.
599
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:29,870
Yeah, you bet
your life you don't!
600
00:21:30,870 --> 00:21:32,870
Guess we told her.
601
00:21:32,870 --> 00:21:34,380
JOE:
Yeah, we'll see you around.
602
00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:35,380
Hey, uh--
603
00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:36,880
Did that come out the way
it was supposed to?
604
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,880
Uh, I don't know.
I got kinda lost there.
605
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,380
Yeah, but we're still
in control, right?
606
00:21:40,380 --> 00:21:41,380
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
607
00:21:44,890 --> 00:21:46,890
They're even stupider
than I thought.
608
00:21:53,400 --> 00:22:05,410
( upbeat piano theme playing )
41408
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