Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,590 --> 00:00:04,590
( upbeat theme playing )
2
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:14,100
All right, Fay.
3
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:15,100
I'm ready to go.
4
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:16,100
Oh, this is so exciting.
5
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:18,600
Our first flight since
the accident.
6
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,100
It's so nice to be back
in business.
7
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:21,100
Ah, you're telling me.
8
00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:22,110
You know, I really didn't think
9
00:00:22,110 --> 00:00:23,610
I would be able to get
the money together
10
00:00:23,610 --> 00:00:24,610
to get that plane back
in the air.
11
00:00:24,610 --> 00:00:27,110
But you did it,
and I'm proud of you.
12
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:28,110
Shall we?
13
00:00:28,110 --> 00:00:29,610
Let her rip.
14
00:00:29,610 --> 00:00:30,610
( sighs )
15
00:00:31,110 --> 00:00:32,620
( blows )
16
00:00:32,620 --> 00:00:35,120
Sandpiper Air
will now begin boarding
17
00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:38,120
its flight number seven to
Provincetown through Gate 1.
18
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,120
As you know,
this is a very special flight
19
00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:42,130
because you're the first
passengers to fly with us
20
00:00:42,130 --> 00:00:45,130
since the FAA
shut down Sandpiper.
21
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:49,130
You see, the last time
our plane flew,
22
00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:51,130
our pilots crashed it
into the ocean...
23
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:57,140
in-in what is, to this day,
an unexplained accident.
24
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,640
Uh, o-of course the insurance
company will tell you
25
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:02,150
it was all pilot error.
26
00:01:02,150 --> 00:01:03,150
But, uh, personally,
27
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:05,150
I think the plane
was just too old.
28
00:01:05,150 --> 00:01:07,150
( upbeat theme playing )
29
00:01:12,660 --> 00:01:15,660
Okay, boss, your shoes
are all polished.
30
00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:17,160
I think that covers everything.
31
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,660
Oh, except for washing
your dog, sir.
32
00:01:19,660 --> 00:01:22,670
Brutus kind of snarled
and nipped at me.
33
00:01:22,670 --> 00:01:24,670
Didn't I tell you to wrap
your coat around your arm
34
00:01:24,670 --> 00:01:26,670
before you went
into the pen?
35
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,670
Oh, okay, okay. I'll--
36
00:01:28,670 --> 00:01:31,670
I'll hose him down later,
while he's eating.
37
00:01:31,670 --> 00:01:34,680
Put those shoes in my office
and go clean out my car.
38
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:35,680
Yes, sir.
39
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:36,680
Oh, uh, Roy,
40
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,680
you're treating
that boy like a slave!
41
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:39,680
Heh.
42
00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:42,190
What's your point?
43
00:01:43,690 --> 00:01:44,690
Who is he, anyway?
44
00:01:44,690 --> 00:01:45,690
That's Marty.
45
00:01:45,690 --> 00:01:47,190
He's a kid
from the high school.
46
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:50,690
I've started the new
Aeromass intern program.
47
00:01:50,690 --> 00:01:52,700
I'm gonna teach that kid
everything I know.
48
00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:55,200
What's he going to do
the second half of the day?
49
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:57,700
Oh, very cute.
50
00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,200
Listen, I am gonna help
that young man
51
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,200
build a little character.
52
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,710
In turn, he's gonna help me
build a little tool shed.
53
00:02:03,710 --> 00:02:05,210
( chuckles )
54
00:02:05,210 --> 00:02:07,210
Mr. Biggins.
Hmm?
55
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,710
Sir, do I really have
to clean out your car?
56
00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:11,210
The choice is yours, kid:
57
00:02:11,210 --> 00:02:13,720
You can clean out my car
or clean out your locker.
58
00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:17,220
Have you seen
the inside of his car?
59
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,220
If I wanted to work around stuff
I was afraid to touch,
60
00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:21,220
I would have interned
with a mortician.
61
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,730
You know, just because
someone's older than you
62
00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:27,230
doesn't mean you have to listen
to everything he says. Marty?
63
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:30,730
Y-young man,
I'm talking to you.
64
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:36,740
Is your name Hackett?
Sure is.
65
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,240
( grunts )
( groans )
66
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:39,740
That's for messing
with my girlfriend.
67
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:41,240
Hey, buddy, that's my brother.
68
00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:42,250
You want some of this too?
69
00:02:42,250 --> 00:02:44,250
But over the years
we've drifted apart,
70
00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:46,250
so it's not...
71
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,250
Joe.
My nose!
72
00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:49,750
Ooh!
I think he broke it.
73
00:02:49,750 --> 00:02:50,750
I'm gonna kick his butt.
74
00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:53,260
Just tell your brother
that was for Lucy Chase.
75
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,260
Next time he wants to have
dinner with my girlfriend
76
00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:56,760
he'll get worse than that.
77
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,260
Oh my God, Joe,
you're bleeding.
78
00:02:58,260 --> 00:03:00,760
I can't stand the sight
of blood.
79
00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,270
I think I'm going
to faint.
80
00:03:02,270 --> 00:03:03,770
Fay, you are looking
kinda pale.
81
00:03:03,770 --> 00:03:06,270
Yeah, you are, Fay.
Why don't you sit down?
82
00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:10,270
Hey! Hey, I'm bleeding
over here.
83
00:03:11,770 --> 00:03:12,780
Yeah.
84
00:03:12,780 --> 00:03:15,280
You really aren't looking
too good, either.
85
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:16,780
Here, I'd better take you
to a doctor.
86
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:17,780
Come on.
Oh, my face!
87
00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:19,280
I can't believe that guy!
88
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:20,780
I don't even know
a Lucy Chase.
89
00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:22,290
Yeah, well,
you wouldn't like her, Joe.
90
00:03:22,290 --> 00:03:23,790
She's not really your type.
91
00:03:24,790 --> 00:03:26,290
You know her?
92
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,790
Yeah, I had dinner
with her last night.
93
00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:29,290
What? Brian!
94
00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:31,800
LOWELL:
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
95
00:03:31,790 --> 00:03:33,800
I think I've put
this together.
96
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,300
Both of you guys
are named Hackett.
97
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:39,800
And this guy's girlfriend went
out with a guy named Hackett.
98
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,310
Therefore...
99
00:03:42,310 --> 00:03:44,310
Oh, never mind.
100
00:03:44,310 --> 00:03:47,310
I thought I was on to something,
but it's gone now.
101
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,810
Oh, yeah, well,
thanks a lot, Brian.
102
00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:50,810
That guy came here
to break your nose.
103
00:03:50,810 --> 00:03:52,820
Yeah, I know. You're one
lucky fella, boy.
104
00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:54,320
Oh, I'm lucky?
Oh, yeah.
105
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,320
If he knew that I stayed over
at Lucy's for breakfast
106
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:57,820
he'd have killed you.
107
00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:59,820
( upbeat theme playing )
108
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,830
Now Joe, I'm just packing your
nose with some cotton,
109
00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:13,840
so breathing is gonna be
difficult for a little while.
110
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:15,340
( nasally ):
Doc, you got any painkillers
111
00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:17,840
I can take home with me?
112
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,340
Well, actually, Joe,
I think you're past
113
00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:20,840
the worst of the pain.
114
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:22,350
No, I mean for him.
115
00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:24,850
When I get outta here,
I'm gonna kill him.
116
00:04:24,850 --> 00:04:27,350
And then I'm gonna go after
that jerk that hit me.
117
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,850
And make sure you threaten him
in just that tone of voice, Joe.
118
00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:31,850
And then when he-- When he's
down on the ground laughing,
119
00:04:31,850 --> 00:04:33,860
you can give him
a pink belly and run.
120
00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:36,860
Ha, ha.
Oh, very funny, Brian.
121
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:39,360
Very, very funny.
122
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,360
You know-- You know, buddy,
you're not really showing
123
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:42,370
that much gratitude here.
124
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:43,870
I could have taken you
to a clinic,
125
00:04:43,870 --> 00:04:47,870
but instead I chose the best
plastic surgeon I could find.
126
00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:49,370
How do you pronounce this, doc?
127
00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:51,370
"University of Granayda"?
Or "Granahda"?
128
00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:52,880
Huh?
129
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,380
Kidding! Kidding. Kidding.
130
00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:56,880
It's the University
of Vermont.
131
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,880
Right there.
Great university.
132
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:00,380
Got a hell of a football team:
133
00:05:00,380 --> 00:05:02,890
The Fighting Syrup Gatherers.
134
00:05:02,890 --> 00:05:03,890
( laughs )
135
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:09,890
Joe, I wanna present you
with an option here.
136
00:05:09,890 --> 00:05:12,900
Now, I can just go ahead and
finish setting the fracture.
137
00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:14,900
Or, while we're at it, I could
spend a little more time
138
00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:18,400
and give you a really
stunning new nose.
139
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:19,900
What's wrong
with my old nose?
140
00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:21,900
Well, I think-- I think "wrong"
is an overstatement,
141
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:23,910
but there's a--
There's a bump in the bridge,
142
00:05:23,910 --> 00:05:25,910
and it does throw
your face off-center.
143
00:05:25,910 --> 00:05:26,910
Bump in my nose?
144
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:29,410
I don't have a bump
in my nose.
145
00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:30,410
Oh, well, here, it--
146
00:05:30,410 --> 00:05:31,920
It might be easier
for you to see it
147
00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:33,420
on your brother's nose.
148
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:37,420
What? Wha--?
What do you mean?
149
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,920
This-- This little bump
right here?
150
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,420
Right. Although on--
On you it's, uh,
151
00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:41,930
it's more pronounced.
152
00:05:42,930 --> 00:05:43,930
Very simple procedure, Joe.
153
00:05:43,930 --> 00:05:45,430
We can do it right here
in the office.
154
00:05:45,430 --> 00:05:46,930
You're talking
about this little thing?
155
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,930
It's no problem at all.
I've done hundreds of these.
156
00:05:48,930 --> 00:05:50,430
What do you think?
157
00:05:50,430 --> 00:05:51,940
I just want my nose back
the way it was.
158
00:05:51,930 --> 00:05:54,440
All right, fine.
Then I'll just finish up here.
159
00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:57,440
And we will wanna keep you
still for a couple of days.
160
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,440
I'm afraid this is gonna throb
for a while.
161
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:01,950
You hear that, Brian?
162
00:06:01,940 --> 00:06:04,450
It's gonna throb.
163
00:06:04,450 --> 00:06:06,450
Hey-ey-ey, doc.
Doc, doc.
164
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:07,950
I-is-- Is this what you
were talking about before?
165
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,950
This little thing right here?
It's tiny.
166
00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:12,960
It is now, but as you age...
167
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:13,960
Well.
168
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:17,460
You're gonna need
some cold compresses
169
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,960
for the swelling, Joe.
170
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,460
Really, you think
it's gonna grow?
171
00:06:20,460 --> 00:06:21,970
Brian, the worst thing
you can do
172
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,470
is to become
self-conscious about it.
173
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,470
Either have it fixed,
or try to forget about it.
174
00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:26,970
Where was I?
175
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,470
Oh yes, cold compresses,
176
00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:29,970
and take a little
aspirin for the pain
177
00:06:29,970 --> 00:06:32,480
and you'll be just fine.
178
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:33,980
Now that should--
That should do it, Joe.
179
00:06:33,980 --> 00:06:34,980
You can go home.
180
00:06:34,980 --> 00:06:36,480
( groans )
181
00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:42,490
Okay, Brian.
I'm ready to go.
182
00:06:42,490 --> 00:06:43,490
Yeah. Right.
183
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:44,990
You expect me
to go out in public
184
00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:46,490
looking like this?
185
00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:48,490
( upbeat theme playing )
186
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,000
( upbeat theme playing )
187
00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,000
Marty?
188
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,500
Marty?
189
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,010
Where in the hell
is that kid?
190
00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:06,510
Now, Roy, you've been running
that poor boy ragged for weeks.
191
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:08,010
Hey, don't look
to me for sympathy.
192
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,510
I had to learn the airline
business the hard way.
193
00:07:10,510 --> 00:07:13,020
When I started out,
I slept in hangars.
194
00:07:13,020 --> 00:07:15,020
Ate pork and beans.
195
00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:17,520
Did any job I could,
just to get my foot in the door.
196
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,020
Oh, what a crock.
197
00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:23,530
You bought your way in with some
money an old uncle left you.
198
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,030
Oh, yeah.
199
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:30,030
You know, you make up a story
and repeat it enough times,
200
00:07:30,030 --> 00:07:32,540
it starts to sound true.
201
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,040
HELEN:
Hi, Joe.
Hey, guys.
202
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:36,040
Look who got
his bandages off.
203
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,540
Yeah.
Really good job.
204
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:41,540
Oh, that nose is straight
and true as a Texas highway.
205
00:07:44,050 --> 00:07:45,050
What, Lowell?
206
00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:47,550
No, I was just admiring
the handiwork, Joe.
207
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:50,050
Perfect shape.
Immaculate skin tone.
208
00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:51,050
It's gorgeous.
209
00:07:51,050 --> 00:07:53,060
That's quite a compliment
coming from me,
210
00:07:53,060 --> 00:07:54,560
I am a leg man.
211
00:08:00,060 --> 00:08:01,560
Hey, Brian.
How was the flight?
212
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,570
Fine. Fine.
213
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:06,570
I see you got your
perfect nose back.
214
00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:09,570
Aw, stop.
You're obsessing about that.
215
00:08:09,570 --> 00:08:11,070
About what, Joe?
216
00:08:11,070 --> 00:08:14,080
This freakish deformity
in the middle of my face?
217
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,580
I've lived with this
for the past two weeks.
218
00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:17,080
My doctor put this idea
in his head
219
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,080
that there's something wrong
with his nose.
220
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,080
And he-- And he won't
let go of it.
221
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,590
The other night, I caught him
cutting noses out of magazines
222
00:08:22,590 --> 00:08:25,090
and holding 'em up to his face.
223
00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:27,090
I'll have you know that I've
asked lots of people,
224
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,590
and they all see it.
225
00:08:28,590 --> 00:08:29,590
I'm so sick of hearing
226
00:08:29,590 --> 00:08:31,090
about that stupid bump
on your nose.
227
00:08:31,090 --> 00:08:33,100
Really? Really?
Well, you won't have to hear
228
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:34,600
about it much longer,
'cause this morning
229
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,100
I went over
to Dr. Lasker's office
230
00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:38,600
and I picked up this pamphlet
of photographs
231
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,100
of famous celebrity noses,
232
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:42,100
any one of which
he can give me.
233
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:43,610
Oh, give me a break.
234
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:44,610
Brian, this is silly.
235
00:08:44,610 --> 00:08:46,610
Why would you want
any part of this?
236
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:52,120
I mean to choose your nose out
of a-- Patrick Swayze?
237
00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:54,120
He could give you
Patrick Swayze's nose?
238
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:55,620
Oh, God.
Look at that little nub.
239
00:08:55,620 --> 00:08:56,620
You could just eat it.
240
00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:03,630
Well, personally, I don't
understand this obsession
241
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:06,130
with perfect features.
242
00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:08,130
If you ask me, many of the
handsomest men in the world
243
00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:10,630
don't even have perfect looks.
244
00:09:10,630 --> 00:09:12,140
Ah, yeah, well,
then who do you think
245
00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:13,640
is the handsomest man
in the world?
246
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,640
Listen to this.
Who's the handsomest man?
247
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:19,140
Heh, heh. You sound like a bunch
of women at a beauty parlor.
248
00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:21,640
Excuse me, ladies, I've got
better things to do.
249
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,150
Sylvester Stallone.
250
00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:24,650
No, I don't see that at all.
251
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:31,650
And who does Joe Hackett
think is the most handsome man?
252
00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:35,660
Peter Jennings.
253
00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:36,660
Peter Jennings?
254
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:40,160
Peter Jennings couldn't even
hold Sly's jock.
255
00:09:41,660 --> 00:09:44,670
Stallone has rugged features.
256
00:09:44,670 --> 00:09:48,670
Wonderful, expressive eyes
that pull you in.
257
00:09:49,670 --> 00:09:51,670
Oh, yes.
258
00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:58,180
He's...very, very handsome.
259
00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:08,690
Of course, not to me,
personally.
260
00:10:08,690 --> 00:10:11,690
I can't believe you people are
having this conversation.
261
00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:13,700
You sound pretty adamant, Roy.
W-what's wrong?
262
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,700
You a little insecure
about your sexuality?
263
00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:19,700
I am not insecure. I am not
the least bit insecure.
264
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,710
Do I seem insecure?
265
00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:27,710
What are you staring at?
266
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,210
You are sick.
You know that?
267
00:10:29,210 --> 00:10:30,710
Sick and perverted.
268
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:34,720
Oh, all right. John Forsythe.
269
00:10:39,220 --> 00:10:42,220
Well, if you ask me,
you guys are a long way off.
270
00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:47,230
My choice for handsomest man has
got to be Mr. Tom Petty.
271
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:54,240
Tom Petty the rock star?
272
00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:58,740
Excuse me, Lowell, but he is
a really gawky-looking guy.
273
00:10:58,740 --> 00:11:01,240
Well, you couldn't be more
wrong, Joe.
274
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,750
Every time I look
into that fabulous face,
275
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:06,750
I can sense his deep
feelings and emotions
276
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,750
that go into his words
and music.
277
00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:12,760
He's quite an attractive man.
278
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,260
And I'd be willing to fight any
guy who doesn't think so!
279
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:17,260
Take it easy, Lowell.
280
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:18,260
Take it easy, babe.
281
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:20,260
Brian, we have not heard
from you.
282
00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:24,270
Well, ahem, I don't have any
feelings about it personally,
283
00:11:24,270 --> 00:11:28,270
but, uh, you know I've slept
with a lot of women in my time,
284
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:32,270
and, uh, they seem to always
talk about somebody
285
00:11:32,270 --> 00:11:34,780
very good-looking
named Kevin Costner.
286
00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:35,780
Oh, I see.
287
00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:38,280
So, uh, when they're in bed
with you
288
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:42,790
they're talking
about Kevin Costner?
289
00:11:42,790 --> 00:11:45,290
No, not exactly that.
Oh, hey.
290
00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:46,790
Well, they must be
pretty bored.
291
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,290
No, they're not bored.
Believe me.
292
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:50,790
They're not--
They're not bored. Okay?
293
00:11:50,790 --> 00:11:51,790
No, no.
294
00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:54,800
Obviously, I remind them of
Kevin Costner,
295
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,300
because we look
so much alike. See?
296
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,800
Now, that's funny.
297
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,300
I don't remember
Kevin Costner
298
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,300
having an unsightly bump
on his nose.
299
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:04,810
I knew it!
300
00:12:04,810 --> 00:12:06,810
Great.
Here we go again.
301
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,310
Joe. Joe. Joe.
302
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:09,310
Joe, try to understand,
303
00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:12,310
Brian is very sensitive
about his nose.
304
00:12:12,310 --> 00:12:14,320
It's-- It's easy for you.
305
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:15,820
You...
306
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:19,820
You're already a very,
very good-looking...
307
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:26,330
Not to me.
308
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:27,830
He's right.
He's right.
309
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,330
I mean, you have no idea
what it's like.
310
00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:31,330
Everywhere I look,
I see part of this bump.
311
00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:32,840
There it is. There it is.
JOE: Come on.
312
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,340
Anyone can catch a piece
of their nose
313
00:12:34,340 --> 00:12:35,840
if they're really
looking for it.
314
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:37,840
Not my Uncle Willy.
315
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,840
He lost his nose
in an industrial accident.
316
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,850
The great irony is, now that
he's on disability,
317
00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:48,350
and has the time to stop and
smell the roses...
318
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:49,850
he can't!
319
00:12:52,860 --> 00:12:54,360
Look.
320
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:55,860
I found the perfect nose.
321
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:58,860
Page seven.
The Mitch Gaylord.
322
00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:00,860
Who?
Mitch Gaylord.
323
00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:02,870
Huh? Olympic gymnast,
won the gold in '84.
324
00:13:02,870 --> 00:13:04,370
Ah, I remember him.
325
00:13:04,370 --> 00:13:07,370
Oh, yeah?
Ah, he's-- He's very muscular,
326
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:10,870
and very, very graceful.
327
00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:12,380
He's very--
328
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:19,880
Excuse me.
329
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:23,890
I've got to go pick up a copy
of something with naked women.
330
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,390
( upbeat theme playing )
331
00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:32,390
( upbeat theme playing )
332
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,400
Here you go, Mr. Biggins.
333
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,400
I've got your dry cleaning.
334
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,400
Good.
Just in time.
335
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,910
Now, you know
the drill, right?
336
00:13:45,410 --> 00:13:46,910
You take this one back,
337
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:47,910
tell them they missed a spot
338
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,910
and they'll clean it
for free.
339
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:54,420
Yes, sir.
340
00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:56,420
Now, Marty, this has gone
on long enough.
341
00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:59,420
You need to learn
to be more assertive.
342
00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:01,420
I-I want you to march back
into Roy's office
343
00:14:01,420 --> 00:14:03,430
and demand that he stop taking
advantage of you.
344
00:14:03,430 --> 00:14:05,430
Uh, no, no. No, ma'am.
I don't think so.
345
00:14:05,430 --> 00:14:07,430
Uh, well if you won't,
I will.
346
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,930
Huh.
Uh, ma'am, uh, please, uh.
347
00:14:08,930 --> 00:14:12,440
If there's one thing that makes
me see red, it's injustice.
348
00:14:12,430 --> 00:14:14,440
Otherwise, you could pull
a hair out of my nose
349
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:15,940
and I'd still give you a smile.
350
00:14:15,940 --> 00:14:16,940
( chuckles )
351
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,940
Now, uh, Roy.
352
00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:21,940
I'm here on Marty's behalf.
353
00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:23,950
Now, either you start teaching
him the business,
354
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:24,950
or he's quitting.
355
00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:26,950
Fine. He's fired.
Oh, Roy!
356
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:29,450
No, no, no. I didn't really
want her to do this!
357
00:14:29,450 --> 00:14:31,450
Son, you don't have the backbone
to speak up for yourself,
358
00:14:31,450 --> 00:14:33,960
you don't belong at Aeromass.
359
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,960
You mean if I would've
asked you the same question,
360
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,960
you wouldn't have fired me?
No, I would have fired you,
361
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,960
but I would have
respected you.
362
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:40,960
No, I wouldn't.
363
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:41,960
( laughs )
364
00:14:42,970 --> 00:14:44,470
Thanks a lot, lady.
365
00:14:44,470 --> 00:14:46,470
You know, I was getting school
credit for doing this.
366
00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:48,470
Now I'm gonna have to go
to summer school to graduate.
367
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:49,470
I hope you're happy.
368
00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:50,970
You've ruined my life!
369
00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:52,480
Very good, Marty.
370
00:14:52,470 --> 00:14:54,480
Now, that's assertive!
371
00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:00,480
Any of you guys seen Brian?
372
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:01,480
Yeah, Joe, he went--
373
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,490
Ah, Lowell,
Lowell, Lowell.
374
00:15:03,490 --> 00:15:04,990
He told us not to say.
375
00:15:04,990 --> 00:15:07,990
Oh, right.
Oh, come on.
376
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,990
W-what do you mean?
I need to talk to him.
377
00:15:09,990 --> 00:15:12,500
Well, perhaps
we could tell him
378
00:15:12,490 --> 00:15:14,500
without really
telling him.
379
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:17,500
Where's Brian?
380
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:21,000
Nobody knows.
381
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,010
I don't believe this.
382
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:26,010
Really? I-I thought Helen
gave him a ride
383
00:15:26,010 --> 00:15:27,510
over to Dr. Lasker's.
384
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,510
I can't believe he's really
going through with it.
385
00:15:29,510 --> 00:15:32,010
Did you say Dr. Lasker?
Yeah.
386
00:15:32,010 --> 00:15:34,520
You mean old
"While we're at it" Lasker?
387
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:35,520
What do you mean?
388
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,020
Ah, the guy's notorious
389
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,520
for talkin' people
into surgery
390
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,520
they don't even need.
391
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,020
Eh, but that only
really works
392
00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:43,030
on your insecure
and obsessive types.
393
00:15:43,030 --> 00:15:44,030
Heh.
394
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:45,530
Your brother's
not like that, is he?
395
00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:47,530
( sighs )
396
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:50,030
Lowell, tell Fay that
I'm down at Dr. Lasker's.
397
00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:52,540
Joe, Joe, Joe,
Joe, be careful.
398
00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:55,040
This doctor sounds
like a dangerous man.
399
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,040
Don't let him talk you
into anything.
400
00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:01,040
You're a very good-looking man
just the way...you are.
401
00:16:03,550 --> 00:16:05,550
I've got to get a date.
402
00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:07,550
( upbeat music playing )
403
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,060
Janine,
I've given Mr. Hackett
404
00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:18,060
a shot of Demerol
to relax him.
405
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,060
I'll begin on that procedure
just as soon as I finish
406
00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:21,060
with Mrs. Tucker.
407
00:16:21,060 --> 00:16:22,570
Yes, doctor.
408
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:28,570
Oh, no. I'm just waiting
for a friend
409
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:29,570
to get out of surgery.
410
00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:31,070
( laughs )
411
00:16:31,070 --> 00:16:33,080
Yeah. I feel really lucky.
412
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:35,080
I'm pretty happy
with everything I've got.
413
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,080
My eyes and my nose,
414
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,580
and, well, my ears
are a little large,
415
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:40,080
but I got all
this hair so who cares.
416
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:41,580
( chuckles )
417
00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:43,090
Well, you're very cute.
418
00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:44,590
Oh, aren't you sweet.
419
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,590
Yeah, I just thank
my lucky stars
420
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,590
there's nothing you guys
can do for me.
421
00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:52,090
( chuckles )
422
00:16:52,090 --> 00:16:54,100
( sighs ):
Oh.
423
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:57,600
So, what's this thing
called liposuction?
424
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,100
It's a simple, safe
and very economical procedure
425
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:02,100
for removing excess fat.
426
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:05,110
That's exactly the way I say it
in my prayers every night.
427
00:17:05,110 --> 00:17:07,110
Oh, so you'd be interested?
428
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:08,610
Well, is this doctor any good?
429
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,610
Oh, yes. He gave
me a breast reduction.
430
00:17:10,610 --> 00:17:11,610
Lookie.
431
00:17:14,620 --> 00:17:16,620
Those were reduced?
432
00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:18,620
Would you excuse me
for a moment?
Sure.
433
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:23,130
Helen. Helen, we have got
to get Brian outta here.
434
00:17:23,130 --> 00:17:25,130
This doctor is a quack.
435
00:17:25,130 --> 00:17:26,130
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Joe, guess what.
436
00:17:26,130 --> 00:17:28,130
I'm getting
liposuction. Ah!
437
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,630
I've gotta get Brian.
438
00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:32,630
Brian?
439
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:35,640
Yeah.
440
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:45,650
Hey, Joe.
441
00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:47,650
Hey, everybody, it's Joe!
442
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,150
Come on. Come on,
I've gotta get you outta here.
443
00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:50,650
Why?
Because this doctor
444
00:17:50,650 --> 00:17:52,650
is a con man, that's why.
445
00:17:52,650 --> 00:17:54,660
Oh, well, I like him.
And you know something, Joe?
446
00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:57,160
I kinda like you too.
Come on, give us a kiss.
447
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,160
No one's looking.
448
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,660
( lips smacking )
449
00:17:59,660 --> 00:18:02,160
What are those lines
on your face?
450
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,170
Oh, yuck.
451
00:18:03,170 --> 00:18:04,170
Is that where he cuts?
452
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,670
Oh, it's pretty neat, huh?
453
00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:06,670
These up here are
the doctor's idea.
454
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,670
I'm having my eyes done.
Yeah. Now, you see
455
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:10,170
that is exactly
what I'm talking about.
456
00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:11,670
You don't need
to have your eyes done.
457
00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:14,180
You don't even need to have
your nose done. Come on.
458
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,180
Yeah, the doctor also gave me
something to relax me.
459
00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:17,680
I don't think
it's working, though.
460
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,180
( groans )
461
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,680
Come on. Let's go.
462
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:22,680
Hey-hey-hey-hey.
463
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,190
You know what else I can get?
464
00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:28,190
A new chin
with a little cleft in it.
465
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,690
You don't want a cleft
in your chin.
466
00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:32,690
It'll look like a little
butt on your face.
467
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:36,700
It's no problem, Joe.
468
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,200
I'll just grow a beard
that looks like
469
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,700
a little pair of pants.
470
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:42,200
What can I do
to convince you?
471
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,710
Uh, all right, here.
472
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:44,710
Come here.
473
00:18:44,710 --> 00:18:46,210
Come here, look at yourself.
474
00:18:46,210 --> 00:18:47,210
Look, you see
that nose?
475
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,710
Oh, how could you not?
476
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:51,210
That is Mom's nose.
477
00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:53,720
That's the nose
Mom gave you.
478
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,720
Wow.
479
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:59,220
It really is Mom's nose.
480
00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:00,720
Hi, Mommy.
481
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:01,720
You can't change that.
482
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,230
And you can't
change those eyes.
483
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:07,730
Those are Dad's eyes.
484
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,230
Daddy!
485
00:19:10,730 --> 00:19:12,730
Hey, Joe.
486
00:19:12,730 --> 00:19:14,740
Look at the chin!
487
00:19:14,740 --> 00:19:17,240
If you just imagine spaghetti
sauce right here, it's...
488
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,740
( in unison ):
Uncle Larry.
489
00:19:20,740 --> 00:19:21,740
There, you see?
490
00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:22,740
You got the best
of everybody.
491
00:19:22,740 --> 00:19:25,250
Now let's go.
Ooh, no. Stop!
492
00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:28,750
Wait a second.
Just wait, wait, wait.
493
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:32,250
See, nothing belongs to me.
You know?
494
00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:35,260
My face is just-- Is just
a bunch of spare parts.
495
00:19:35,260 --> 00:19:38,260
See, that's why I want
Mitch Gaylord's nose.
496
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,760
'Cause then I'll finally
have something
497
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,260
I can call my very own.
498
00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:43,770
Uh, th-there's nothing wrong
499
00:19:43,770 --> 00:19:45,770
with being made up
of different parts.
500
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:49,770
I mean, it makes you
kinda special like, uh,
501
00:19:49,770 --> 00:19:50,770
like the bionic man.
502
00:19:50,770 --> 00:19:52,270
And you remember
how much you loved that?
503
00:19:52,270 --> 00:19:54,280
Oh, oh, I loved that show. Oh.
That's right.
504
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,780
Hey, hey, do you remember the
sound the bionic man would make
505
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,280
when he ran in slow motion?
506
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,780
Nu-nu-nu-nu-nu-nu.
507
00:20:00,780 --> 00:20:03,290
Nu-nu-nu-nu-nu-nu-nu.
508
00:20:03,290 --> 00:20:06,790
Yeah. Dad used to let us
stay up late to watch it,
509
00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:09,290
and then when we'd fall asleep
he'd carry us to bed. Remember?
510
00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:11,290
That's right. And that's just
what I'm gonna do now.
511
00:20:11,290 --> 00:20:12,290
Carry you home to bed.
Okay. No.
512
00:20:12,290 --> 00:20:14,800
Ho, hey! Ho, hey, ho! You've
gotta sing the song first.
513
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:15,800
What song?
514
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,800
The song that Dad
used to sing
515
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,300
when he would
carry us to bed.
516
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,800
Ho, ho, yeah.
Well that was nice.
517
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:22,800
No, sing the song.
518
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,810
Brian, no way.
Hey, hey.
519
00:20:25,810 --> 00:20:29,310
I am not moving until
you sing that damned song.
520
00:20:29,310 --> 00:20:32,820
I don't wanna sing the song.
Ssssing it.
521
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:40,320
All right.
522
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,830
Ahem. All right.
523
00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:44,830
There was a little turtle--
524
00:20:44,830 --> 00:20:47,830
Noooooo.
525
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,330
Do the whole thing.
526
00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:50,330
( sighs )
527
00:20:50,330 --> 00:20:52,330
Aw, jeez.
I don't believe this.
528
00:20:56,340 --> 00:20:59,340
There was a little turtle
And his name was Tom
529
00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:02,850
He loved his Dad
And he loved his Mom
530
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,850
He had a little shell
And his shell was round
531
00:21:05,850 --> 00:21:09,350
Wherever he went
He made this sound:
532
00:21:09,350 --> 00:21:10,350
Let's go.
533
00:21:10,350 --> 00:21:11,850
Make the sound.
Make the sound.
534
00:21:11,850 --> 00:21:12,850
( sighs )
535
00:21:15,860 --> 00:21:18,860
Back-a-wack a-wack-a-wack-a
Wack-a-wack-a-do
536
00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:23,370
Back-a-wack a-wack-a-wack-a
I love you
537
00:21:26,370 --> 00:21:27,870
I love you too, Joe.
538
00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:29,370
I love...
Okay, let's--
539
00:21:29,370 --> 00:21:30,370
Yeah, I love you too.
540
00:21:30,370 --> 00:21:31,870
Okay. Come on.
Let's go home.
541
00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:33,380
Okay.
542
00:21:33,380 --> 00:21:35,380
Hey, you know what?
I should be carrying you.
543
00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:36,880
After all,
I am the bionic man.
544
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:37,880
Oh!
545
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,380
Nu-nu-nu-nu-nu-nu-nu-nu.
Aw!
546
00:21:39,380 --> 00:21:40,880
Oh!
Oh, Joe, what did I do?
547
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,880
Oh! I think it's broken.
Oh.
548
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:44,390
Wow.
549
00:21:44,390 --> 00:21:45,390
Those painkillers are great.
550
00:21:45,390 --> 00:21:48,390
I didn't feel anything.
551
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:49,390
BRIAN:
Nu-nu-nu-nu-nu-nu.
552
00:21:49,390 --> 00:21:50,890
Nu-nu-nu-nu-nu-nu-nu.
553
00:21:53,400 --> 00:22:04,910
( upbeat theme playing )
39576
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof