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1
00:00:01,771 --> 00:00:03,406
Americano for Daved.
2
00:00:03,641 --> 00:00:04,776
David, thanks.
3
00:00:07,882 --> 00:00:09,318
Yoooo, Daved!
4
00:00:09,351 --> 00:00:12,057
Oh, hey. Didn't peg you
as Books 'n' Beans guys.
5
00:00:12,091 --> 00:00:13,594
Yeah nah,
I'm more of a Wowo's guy,
6
00:00:13,694 --> 00:00:16,099
but come here for the
special dessert drinks.
7
00:00:16,199 --> 00:00:17,101
I didn't know they did those.
8
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:19,773
Yeah, gotta order off menu.
They'll make anything, though.
9
00:00:19,906 --> 00:00:20,909
Watch this.
10
00:00:20,942 --> 00:00:22,444
Yo, let me get a
large ice mocha,
11
00:00:22,545 --> 00:00:25,117
animal-style, with six pumps
of caramel and uh,
12
00:00:25,183 --> 00:00:26,319
a scone blended into it.
13
00:00:26,353 --> 00:00:28,958
Uh... sorry, I- I can't do that.
14
00:00:29,058 --> 00:00:30,226
Wait, what are
you talking about?
15
00:00:30,327 --> 00:00:31,931
You guys do that for me
all the time.
16
00:00:31,964 --> 00:00:33,199
New ownership.
Different policies.
17
00:00:33,299 --> 00:00:34,335
New ownership?
- Oh no...
18
00:00:34,436 --> 00:00:36,039
Yeah. We were bought out
by Blue Star.
19
00:00:36,206 --> 00:00:37,542
Ugh!
Yuck!
20
00:00:37,642 --> 00:00:38,476
Ugh... What's Blue Star?
21
00:00:38,511 --> 00:00:40,480
Some corporate chain
from Dallas.
22
00:00:40,581 --> 00:00:43,588
They're a soulless inauthentic
corporate monstrosity.
23
00:00:43,688 --> 00:00:46,693
♪ [dramatic] ♪
24
00:00:46,793 --> 00:00:47,962
Dude...
25
00:00:48,062 --> 00:00:49,231
No...
26
00:00:49,331 --> 00:00:50,400
Yo, you frickin' kidding me?
27
00:00:50,501 --> 00:00:54,108
Cowboys cockroaches taking
over our local coffee shop?
28
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:55,979
Yo, this is Eagles country,
dude!
29
00:00:56,112 --> 00:00:57,816
Uh, can I get the
keys to the bathroom?
30
00:00:57,849 --> 00:00:59,351
- No, Hank.
- What? Why?
31
00:00:59,485 --> 00:01:02,225
- Because Dallas sucks!
They're a giant corporation now!
32
00:01:02,258 --> 00:01:03,862
Ugh. This place is ruined!
33
00:01:03,962 --> 00:01:05,163
Let's get the hell out of here.
34
00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:07,368
Dallas sucks.
Dallas sucks.
35
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,338
Corporate conglomerates suck!
They friggin' suck!
36
00:01:09,438 --> 00:01:11,844
Shout out to
independent ownership!
37
00:01:11,977 --> 00:01:13,179
Yo, get out of here, Daved!
38
00:01:13,213 --> 00:01:14,516
Hi. Can I report a disturbance -
39
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,586
Wait, don't call,
we're leaving, sorry.
40
00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:17,689
Buncha sellouts!
41
00:01:19,358 --> 00:01:21,530
♪ Well, I used to work
in hot dog factory ♪
42
00:01:21,564 --> 00:01:23,534
♪ until them
robots came along, ♪
43
00:01:23,568 --> 00:01:25,538
♪ and now there is no
job for me, ♪
44
00:01:25,605 --> 00:01:27,876
♪ but I get three thousand
bucks a month. ♪
45
00:01:27,976 --> 00:01:32,384
♪ Thanks to UBI. ♪
46
00:01:32,418 --> 00:01:36,059
♪ Now we're Universal
Basic Guys. ♪
47
00:01:36,092 --> 00:01:41,269
♪ It may not sound like much,
but we're still gonna try. ♪
48
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:45,578
♪ We're just Universal
Basic Guys. ♪
49
00:01:49,419 --> 00:01:51,891
Yo, screw the Cowboys.
Bunch of entitled jerks.
50
00:01:51,924 --> 00:01:56,166
So-called America's team, thinks
they can colonize South Jersey?
51
00:01:56,266 --> 00:01:57,401
Not on my watch.
52
00:01:57,434 --> 00:01:59,138
Books 'n' Beans was
the one place
53
00:01:59,238 --> 00:02:01,544
that reminded me of Park
Slope, and now it's gone.
54
00:02:01,577 --> 00:02:03,313
Dude, we should start our
own coffee shop
55
00:02:03,346 --> 00:02:04,683
right here in the garage.
56
00:02:04,716 --> 00:02:07,622
Hmm... that would feel
very underground chic.
57
00:02:08,289 --> 00:02:10,193
Wow. This is actually
pretty good, Mark.
58
00:02:10,226 --> 00:02:11,363
Where are these beans from?
59
00:02:11,463 --> 00:02:12,532
Oh, there's some local beans.
60
00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:16,172
Oh, look at you, Mark Hoagies,
with the locally sourced beans.
61
00:02:16,205 --> 00:02:18,711
I got them at the Wowo's
on Route 70.
62
00:02:19,178 --> 00:02:20,413
Ew! God. Yuck!
63
00:02:20,748 --> 00:02:23,287
Dude, what's the big deal?
Wowo's got solid beans.
64
00:02:23,387 --> 00:02:25,457
Mark, we're not running
an AA meeting, okay?
65
00:02:25,558 --> 00:02:27,896
We can't serve gas
station coffee.
66
00:02:27,963 --> 00:02:29,633
Wow. How dare you, David.
67
00:02:29,799 --> 00:02:31,436
Wowo's is not a gas station.
68
00:02:31,570 --> 00:02:33,406
It's a beloved
regional convenience
69
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:35,712
store chain that also sells gas.
70
00:02:35,745 --> 00:02:37,782
Let me put this in
terms you'll understand:
71
00:02:37,815 --> 00:02:38,918
Do you want to beat Dallas?
72
00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,153
Uh, yes, obviously.
73
00:02:40,187 --> 00:02:41,924
Then we need to
find an authentic
74
00:02:41,924 --> 00:02:43,493
farm-to-cup bean source,
75
00:02:43,661 --> 00:02:45,965
and there's no better place
than a farmers' market.
76
00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:48,136
Yo, that dude over there
looks pretty legit.
77
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,775
Holy Hundred Years of
Solitude. Jackpot.
78
00:02:54,114 --> 00:02:55,316
You want coffee?
79
00:02:57,354 --> 00:02:58,924
The beans are from
my family farm in
80
00:02:59,057 --> 00:03:03,266
Colombia. Special Golden Beans.
You only find them in
81
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:04,936
a very small region.
82
00:03:08,644 --> 00:03:11,115
David, what are we doing here?
The guy clearly speaks English.
83
00:03:11,182 --> 00:03:13,120
- I'm being respectful.
- Uh, not to me.
84
00:03:13,153 --> 00:03:15,524
Haha. Best coffee you
will ever drink.
85
00:03:15,658 --> 00:03:17,061
We'll see about that,
pal, okay.
86
00:03:17,094 --> 00:03:18,898
You ever try Wowo's
Holiday Blend?
87
00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:19,999
That sounds disgusting.
88
00:03:22,839 --> 00:03:23,941
Holy moly!
89
00:03:24,041 --> 00:03:25,010
Dude. This is unreal.
90
00:03:25,110 --> 00:03:28,584
Oh my God. This is the
best coffee I've ever had!
91
00:03:29,052 --> 00:03:30,253
We'll take it all.
92
00:03:31,222 --> 00:03:33,092
Nice, David. This looks
pretty classy, dude.
93
00:03:33,126 --> 00:03:34,796
It's like a Cheesecake
Factory in here.
94
00:03:34,829 --> 00:03:35,665
Thanks.
95
00:03:36,032 --> 00:03:37,803
If there's one thing I it's
pretentious coffee shops.
96
00:03:37,936 --> 00:03:40,508
Hey Mark uh, these earrings
are kinda heavy.
97
00:03:40,542 --> 00:03:42,311
Can I take them out or...
- Nah nah, Hank.
98
00:03:42,377 --> 00:03:44,148
You're the cool,
hipster barista guy, okay.
99
00:03:44,248 --> 00:03:45,752
It's an essential part
of the look.
100
00:03:45,852 --> 00:03:46,654
Nice ink, man.
101
00:03:46,787 --> 00:03:49,158
Oh thanks, yeah.
I drew them myself.
102
00:03:49,291 --> 00:03:50,996
Uh... what's going on here?
103
00:03:51,029 --> 00:03:51,831
It's a coffee shop.
104
00:03:52,164 --> 00:03:54,168
We're taking a stand for
the culture of Glantontown.
105
00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:55,237
You wanna get in on this?
106
00:03:55,571 --> 00:03:57,141
Yeah, our staff could use
a little feminine energy.
107
00:03:57,174 --> 00:03:59,980
Sorry, but the last thing
I wanna do after a long shift
108
00:04:00,013 --> 00:04:00,815
is work another job.
109
00:04:01,248 --> 00:04:03,521
I'm gonna open a bottle of wine
and watch reruns of Friends.
110
00:04:03,554 --> 00:04:04,723
Yo, forget Friends, okay.
111
00:04:04,790 --> 00:04:06,693
You got Central Perk right
here in a garage.
112
00:04:06,693 --> 00:04:09,700
- Lexy. He said it.
- No, he did not. Stop.
113
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,906
He told me he loves me. Like,
full eye contact,
114
00:04:13,306 --> 00:04:16,111
dramatic pause.
It was so real.
115
00:04:16,412 --> 00:04:17,448
It felt fake.
116
00:04:17,481 --> 00:04:19,018
He anchored it, Sophie.
117
00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:20,220
He wanted you to feel it.
118
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,326
That is full-on emotional
primacy. I knew it.
119
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:26,634
I knew Jalen was too
mono-coded for our polycule.
120
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,136
Polycule?
121
00:04:28,303 --> 00:04:29,539
Uh... Excuse me?
122
00:04:29,572 --> 00:04:32,712
Oh, uh, I'm just... I work here.
Just... y'know,
123
00:04:32,812 --> 00:04:34,883
doing barista things.
Don't mind me.
124
00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:38,322
Yo David,
how awesome is this, dude?
125
00:04:38,423 --> 00:04:40,060
We got the frickin'
cultural hub of
126
00:04:40,060 --> 00:04:41,730
Glantontown right
here in my garage.
127
00:04:41,830 --> 00:04:44,302
Yeah! Hey, who knew we could
make such a good team?
128
00:04:44,435 --> 00:04:45,805
Yo that's right, dude.
129
00:04:45,905 --> 00:04:46,841
Suck it, Blue Star.
130
00:04:47,107 --> 00:04:49,913
Hey Mark, uh... We're down
to the last sack of beans.
131
00:04:50,013 --> 00:04:50,848
Wait, already?
132
00:04:50,948 --> 00:04:52,618
Damn, we're really moving
some product.
133
00:04:52,752 --> 00:04:54,188
I'm gonna go make a beans run.
134
00:04:55,123 --> 00:04:57,829
What do you mean the guy at the
farmers' market is out of beans!
135
00:04:57,862 --> 00:05:00,801
Yeah, he lost contact with his
family farm in Colombia.
136
00:05:00,935 --> 00:05:01,737
So why was he there,
137
00:05:01,837 --> 00:05:03,172
was he just sitting in
an empty stall?
138
00:05:03,239 --> 00:05:06,078
Uh nah, he was just-- he's
selling V-Bucks now, pivoted.
139
00:05:06,111 --> 00:05:07,749
God! noooo.
140
00:05:07,882 --> 00:05:09,318
We're ruined. It's over!
141
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:10,555
Big Coffee wins again.
142
00:05:10,588 --> 00:05:12,257
Alright, yo.
why are you freaking out?
143
00:05:12,324 --> 00:05:14,362
Because we lost our beans, man!
144
00:05:14,428 --> 00:05:15,632
They were our lifeblood.
145
00:05:15,698 --> 00:05:17,502
We'll never find another bean
that good again.
146
00:05:17,635 --> 00:05:18,469
Yeah, we don't need to.
147
00:05:18,637 --> 00:05:20,641
He gave me the address
of his family's farm.
148
00:05:20,741 --> 00:05:23,212
We just pop over to Colombia,
find the place, and boom:
149
00:05:23,312 --> 00:05:25,216
cut out the middle man.
- Are you insane?
150
00:05:25,316 --> 00:05:27,555
We can't just "pop over"
to Colombia.
151
00:05:27,756 --> 00:05:30,661
Okay, so what's your solution?
You just want to close-up shop,
152
00:05:30,695 --> 00:05:33,667
give up, and hand
Dallas a giant frickin' W?
153
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,072
Mark, I don't spontaneously
go on trips.
154
00:05:36,172 --> 00:05:39,378
I plan them years in advance,
meticulously pouring over
155
00:05:39,412 --> 00:05:41,349
restaurant reviews,
finding authentic but
156
00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:42,952
safe cultural
things to do.
157
00:05:42,986 --> 00:05:44,121
Alright then.
Plan B.
158
00:05:44,890 --> 00:05:47,595
Ugh. Alright. Fine.
Let's do it.
159
00:05:47,629 --> 00:05:50,033
Hell yeah!
We're going to Colombia!.
160
00:05:55,712 --> 00:05:57,816
Damn, David. You're like a
walking REI store.
161
00:05:57,849 --> 00:05:59,284
I'm gonna take
that as a compliment.
162
00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:01,790
Because I like to be prepared
for things and comfortable.
163
00:06:01,824 --> 00:06:04,228
Oh yo, check it out dude.
We gotta rent mopeds.
164
00:06:04,261 --> 00:06:06,265
No. We are not driving
in South America.
165
00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:07,802
It's way too dangerous.
166
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:09,840
Uh-- that's half the
fun being in a
167
00:06:09,873 --> 00:06:10,741
third world country.
168
00:06:10,808 --> 00:06:12,912
Ah-- M-Mark! Shh,
that's disrespectful.
169
00:06:12,945 --> 00:06:15,551
It's a developing country with
an emerging economy.
170
00:06:15,684 --> 00:06:18,991
We're taking a taxi. Taxi!
- Ughhh. Boring.
171
00:06:23,701 --> 00:06:25,871
Gracias. You from America?
172
00:06:27,407 --> 00:06:28,778
See Mark? This guy is a local.
173
00:06:28,844 --> 00:06:30,682
He knows how to safely
get us to... Uh...
174
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,052
wait, did you
give him a destination?
175
00:06:33,085 --> 00:06:34,188
Uh... Was I supposed to, I--
176
00:06:34,221 --> 00:06:35,290
- Uh...
- Oh, God!
177
00:06:35,323 --> 00:06:36,426
Give me all your money!
178
00:06:36,459 --> 00:06:37,962
Whoa whoa dude dude!
-Oh gosh!
179
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:42,437
That's why whenever I travel,
I always carry a decoy wallet!
180
00:06:42,571 --> 00:06:45,109
Wait, you had a decoy wallet
with 300 dollars in it?
181
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,379
Well, it's gotta be convincing.
182
00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:48,482
Alright, well
now we're doing it my way.
183
00:06:48,818 --> 00:06:49,686
Ugh.
184
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,457
So I guess Jalen told that
girl Sophie he loves her,
185
00:06:52,491 --> 00:06:54,829
which is a total no
-no in their polycule.
186
00:06:54,929 --> 00:06:55,697
Poly-cool?
187
00:06:55,964 --> 00:06:57,702
Well, they're all sort
of like dating each other
188
00:06:57,735 --> 00:06:59,471
but at different
levels... or something.
189
00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:01,308
God, I love having a
coffee shop.
190
00:07:01,342 --> 00:07:03,145
This new generation
is fascinating.
191
00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:06,318
It's like they have a million
rules, but also no rules at all.
192
00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:07,855
You know what I mean?
- Uh, no.
193
00:07:07,989 --> 00:07:09,157
Hey, how are you guys doin'?
- Oh, no.
194
00:07:09,224 --> 00:07:12,932
Like your haircut. Got a real
uh, John Kruk vibe going on.
195
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:13,868
Oh hey, Mernft.
196
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:15,136
Yo, Boss. What's
going on here?
197
00:07:15,136 --> 00:07:17,374
You lead in a communist
revolution or something?
198
00:07:17,407 --> 00:07:20,848
Would you keep it down, Mernft.
This is a judgment free zone.
199
00:07:20,881 --> 00:07:22,886
Just saying. Real
melting pot you got over here.
200
00:07:22,986 --> 00:07:24,789
Uh, got all the
colors of the rainbow.
201
00:07:24,889 --> 00:07:26,994
- I'm into it.
You gonna order a drink or what?
202
00:07:27,027 --> 00:07:30,367
Yo, let me get uh, large coffee
half cream, on the house.
203
00:07:30,501 --> 00:07:32,905
You want that coffee to-go.
- Nah, I'm good,
204
00:07:33,006 --> 00:07:34,976
I'm actually gonna --
gonna mingle.
205
00:07:37,047 --> 00:07:38,082
How's it going, ladies?
206
00:07:38,216 --> 00:07:40,086
Ugh. He's gonna mess it all up.
207
00:07:42,391 --> 00:07:44,394
Mark, what the hell?
Stop swerving.
208
00:07:45,063 --> 00:07:47,300
Ten and two, or whatever the
moped equivalent is.
209
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,839
That's the whole point of a
moped to cut through traffic.
210
00:07:49,906 --> 00:07:53,380
There's no traffic! We've seen
like four cars in the last hour.
211
00:07:53,413 --> 00:07:55,250
David, look. Wild bananas!
212
00:07:55,283 --> 00:07:57,420
It's very beautiful please pay
attention to the road.
213
00:07:57,454 --> 00:08:00,460
David! You see that! Oh man,
it's a frickin' monkey eating a
214
00:08:00,494 --> 00:08:02,932
banana in a banana tree,
yo. It does not get
215
00:08:02,965 --> 00:08:04,903
more classic than
that. It does not.
216
00:08:04,936 --> 00:08:07,140
Not get more classic...
- Mark, look out.
217
00:08:07,140 --> 00:08:08,778
Oh, crap!
- Aaaaghh!
218
00:08:08,878 --> 00:08:11,850
[crash!]
219
00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:14,354
Classic.
220
00:08:14,689 --> 00:08:15,925
So lemme ask you
something, uh,
221
00:08:16,025 --> 00:08:17,795
you guys meet
on the Grindr app?
222
00:08:17,896 --> 00:08:19,966
Oh, no. We met
through a mutual friend.
223
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:22,639
You guys like uh, you go a
top and a bottom or is that
224
00:08:22,739 --> 00:08:24,543
or is that just for the men?
- Oh my God...
225
00:08:24,576 --> 00:08:25,778
Um... it's complicated.
226
00:08:25,811 --> 00:08:27,180
We gotta get him outta here.
227
00:08:27,247 --> 00:08:29,752
Wait, but I thought you said it
was a judgement-free zone.
228
00:08:29,786 --> 00:08:31,656
Well, it's a some
judgement zone.
229
00:08:31,690 --> 00:08:33,928
He's being inappropriate and
creepin' people out.
230
00:08:33,961 --> 00:08:37,267
Yeah, I just uh, wouldn't want
to hurt his feelings, though.
231
00:08:37,736 --> 00:08:38,870
Hmm.
232
00:08:40,106 --> 00:08:42,177
Oh, man.
That bus was crowded, dude.
233
00:08:42,211 --> 00:08:43,547
Must be a popular hiking spot.
234
00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:45,751
Yeah, I don't think
they're hiking for fun, Mark.
235
00:08:45,851 --> 00:08:48,289
I think these are migrants
looking for a better life.
236
00:08:48,423 --> 00:08:50,093
Alright, so where is this place?
237
00:08:50,126 --> 00:08:51,897
We're just going...
straight that way.
238
00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:53,767
I thought you said we're
going to Capurganá?
239
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,938
Yeah. And then we just go a
little bit into the jungle.
240
00:08:55,971 --> 00:08:58,977
I'm sorry, what?! Mark,
that isn't just any jungle,
241
00:08:59,078 --> 00:09:00,848
it's the Darién Gap.
It's one of the
242
00:09:00,948 --> 00:09:02,719
most dangerous
places in the world!
243
00:09:02,819 --> 00:09:04,121
Yo, would you relax
David, okay!
244
00:09:04,321 --> 00:09:06,793
That little kid from the bus is
doing it with his whole family.
245
00:09:06,827 --> 00:09:08,029
I'm pretty sure we'll be fine.
246
00:09:08,129 --> 00:09:09,800
You're sure you know
where you're going?
247
00:09:09,833 --> 00:09:12,738
Yes David, okay. The guy gave
me very specific instructions.
248
00:09:12,839 --> 00:09:14,576
We just head south on
the main trail,
249
00:09:14,609 --> 00:09:15,878
cross the first river,
250
00:09:15,912 --> 00:09:17,447
then follow the path
on the left,
251
00:09:17,548 --> 00:09:18,751
and then past the
large boulder,
252
00:09:18,917 --> 00:09:20,921
and then follow the trail that
descends into the valley
253
00:09:21,021 --> 00:09:22,357
until we see a
small wooden sign
254
00:09:22,457 --> 00:09:24,428
that says "Finca El
Grano Dorado."
255
00:09:24,629 --> 00:09:25,631
Boom.
- Ugh.
256
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:27,367
I can't believe you talked
me into this.
257
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,438
It all sounded so
easy when you said it.
258
00:09:29,740 --> 00:09:31,976
I got swept up.
- David if these beans were
259
00:09:32,010 --> 00:09:34,616
easy to access then they
wouldn't be special.
260
00:09:34,649 --> 00:09:37,453
Ugh fine, but you better
snap some really rugged
261
00:09:37,487 --> 00:09:38,824
candids of me.
262
00:09:41,462 --> 00:09:42,832
Yo... What's this?
263
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:46,540
Uh... congrats on being the
first member of
264
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,044
our friends and family
program. As a reward
265
00:09:49,144 --> 00:09:51,916
you will receive
free coffee deliveries.
266
00:09:52,618 --> 00:09:54,523
Alright. Thanks, bud.
267
00:09:54,523 --> 00:09:56,225
Uh... where you're going?
268
00:09:56,292 --> 00:09:58,496
Oh, I thought I'd uh go
drink it at your place.
269
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:00,734
Oh uh... okay.
270
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:02,705
I mean,
I shouldn't be surprised.
271
00:10:02,772 --> 00:10:04,976
He's always had main
character energy.
272
00:10:05,009 --> 00:10:05,811
Right?!
273
00:10:06,212 --> 00:10:08,049
And now he's literally soft
-launching a new hierarchy,
274
00:10:08,049 --> 00:10:10,220
but that's not even
the worst part.
275
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:11,455
Get this-
276
00:10:11,623 --> 00:10:13,994
I checked his location
last night.
277
00:10:14,127 --> 00:10:15,363
Oooh, baby.
278
00:10:15,463 --> 00:10:16,967
Wasn't he at Willow with Max?
279
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:18,503
- No.
- Stop.
280
00:10:18,537 --> 00:10:20,140
Hey, let me ask you something...
281
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,074
Oh, come on...
282
00:10:21,275 --> 00:10:23,714
So what's with all these
pronouns these days?
283
00:10:23,747 --> 00:10:26,118
Is that like a uh,
gender-fluid thing?
284
00:10:26,152 --> 00:10:27,187
Uh... I dunno.
285
00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:28,924
It's really just
about making sure
286
00:10:28,957 --> 00:10:31,295
everyone feels seen
and respected?
287
00:10:31,328 --> 00:10:32,431
What the hell, Hank?
288
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:34,001
I mean, I said the stuff.
289
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,038
So like, let's say you got
Siamese Twin.
290
00:10:36,072 --> 00:10:38,209
Okay is that a he,
or is that a they?
291
00:10:38,343 --> 00:10:40,981
We're gonna need to
take drastic measures.
292
00:10:44,923 --> 00:10:47,093
How the hell did you get
that through airport security?
293
00:10:47,093 --> 00:10:48,964
I didn't. I bought it from
a guy on the bus.
294
00:10:48,997 --> 00:10:51,001
You bought it? I thought
you lost all your money.
295
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:52,505
Yeah, I mean, I traded for it.
296
00:10:52,538 --> 00:10:53,540
Oh! What did you trade?
297
00:10:53,974 --> 00:10:57,080
I dunno. One of your medicines,
uhh... Levi-thy-roxine...
298
00:10:57,180 --> 00:11:00,621
What?! That's my thyroid
medicine. I need that!
299
00:11:00,754 --> 00:11:02,558
Dude, c'mon, you had
five of them!
300
00:11:02,592 --> 00:11:04,095
Okay, c'mon, look
at this knife, dude.
301
00:11:04,128 --> 00:11:05,831
I'm like frickin' Rambo
with this thing.
302
00:11:05,864 --> 00:11:07,467
Oh my God.
This is ridiculous.
303
00:11:07,568 --> 00:11:08,402
We should turn back.
304
00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:10,941
Nope. We can't do it.
Not enough daylight.
305
00:11:11,141 --> 00:11:13,647
Gonna have to camp here
and regroup in the morning.
306
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:16,753
Ugh. Fine. Did you bring
a sleeping bag?
307
00:11:18,222 --> 00:11:19,224
Night, Daved.
308
00:11:19,324 --> 00:11:20,326
Night.
309
00:11:21,094 --> 00:11:22,330
Yo, this is fun.
310
00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:23,800
No, it's not.
311
00:11:29,579 --> 00:11:31,315
Ah... ah...
312
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,119
Gah! Ah! What the...
313
00:11:33,152 --> 00:11:36,225
Ahh frogged ya, dude!
You got frogged!
314
00:11:36,258 --> 00:11:39,633
Are you insane? These are
poison dart frogs.
315
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:42,103
Ah, ah. You know well,
that explains why
316
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:44,208
I'm seeing double
when I can't feel my hands,
317
00:11:44,509 --> 00:11:46,813
and why my tongue is
swelling up now.
318
00:11:46,847 --> 00:11:49,586
Oh my God.
Aw! My face. It's burning!
319
00:11:49,820 --> 00:11:52,057
I'm gonna kill you,
you stupid idiot!
320
00:11:52,324 --> 00:11:53,927
Wait! What was that?
321
00:11:55,831 --> 00:11:58,737
Oh my God. it's Border Patrol.
Help!
322
00:12:01,141 --> 00:12:02,377
Oh, thank God.
323
00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:06,753
Well, there goes my
second decoy wallet.
324
00:12:06,886 --> 00:12:08,188
Wait, that one had $500!
325
00:12:08,188 --> 00:12:10,159
Yeah, it's called
being prepared,
326
00:12:10,159 --> 00:12:11,830
something you know
nothing about.
327
00:12:11,930 --> 00:12:13,901
Oh spare me David, okay.
This is your fault.
328
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,938
- You really boned us here.
- My fault?
329
00:12:16,005 --> 00:12:18,008
Yeah, David. You're the one
who asked for help from
330
00:12:18,142 --> 00:12:20,748
a frickin' group of
guerrilla cartel bandits
331
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,116
or whatever the hell
these guys are?
332
00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:23,921
You're the one who took
us into the world's
333
00:12:24,021 --> 00:12:26,526
most dangerous jungle with a
cartoon treasure map.
334
00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:28,028
Uh, excuse me,
I was fine with wowo's.
335
00:12:28,062 --> 00:12:29,532
I didn't need the fancy beans.
336
00:12:29,632 --> 00:12:31,068
Yeah, 'cause you people
have no taste.
337
00:12:31,201 --> 00:12:32,672
Uh, what do you mean
by you people?
338
00:12:32,705 --> 00:12:36,312
South Jersey people. You're a
bunch of uncultured troglodytes.
339
00:12:36,345 --> 00:12:38,082
H- how are you so
close to New York?
340
00:12:38,116 --> 00:12:39,819
Wow. Wow. You know
what you're right.
341
00:12:39,919 --> 00:12:42,791
I guess I am pretty dumb.
Because I thought that
342
00:12:42,825 --> 00:12:46,232
I could be friends with
a stinkin' Giants fan.
343
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:49,506
I'm not a Giants fan!
I'm not even a football fan!
344
00:12:49,539 --> 00:12:51,843
'Cause football is dumb.
345
00:12:52,978 --> 00:12:55,518
You. Come with me.
Alright, welp
346
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:57,555
guess I'm getting
sex trafficked.
347
00:12:58,223 --> 00:13:01,128
Yeah, that's definitely why
they kidnapped us. You moron.
348
00:13:07,174 --> 00:13:09,178
I'll pull the trigger and drop
this guy right now.
349
00:13:09,244 --> 00:13:10,948
No no no, dont-- you
don't wanna do that!
350
00:13:10,981 --> 00:13:12,685
- Oh, God...
- You don't wanna do that.
351
00:13:12,718 --> 00:13:13,352
- Mark...
352
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,624
Just go with Smith because he's
gonna get more receptions
353
00:13:15,691 --> 00:13:17,227
so you can just put him at flex.
-Wait...
354
00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:19,497
I mean, it's a PPR League,
right? You said it's PPR.
355
00:13:19,598 --> 00:13:21,168
- Hm. Sí.
Then you wanna go Smith.
356
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:22,437
Uh... what is happening here?
357
00:13:22,538 --> 00:13:25,343
Oh, I'm just helping him with
there fantasy football draft.
358
00:13:25,443 --> 00:13:26,445
Gotta hand to Goodell, man,
359
00:13:26,647 --> 00:13:29,886
I was not sure about doin' the
NFL down in South America,
360
00:13:29,986 --> 00:13:31,623
but the game clearly's
gone global. I mean,
361
00:13:31,657 --> 00:13:34,529
all these guys are watching.
This guy's a Jets fan over here.
362
00:13:34,763 --> 00:13:36,265
Can't even say like a
word of English, but
363
00:13:36,365 --> 00:13:38,436
uh, he kept pointing
to the airplane.
364
00:13:38,537 --> 00:13:39,538
Gracias.
365
00:13:40,239 --> 00:13:41,208
Is this...?
366
00:13:41,408 --> 00:13:42,911
Golden Beans, baby.
367
00:13:43,981 --> 00:13:45,918
Ohhh, how I missed you.
368
00:13:46,586 --> 00:13:49,626
Wait... is this like a
last meal type thing?
369
00:13:49,659 --> 00:13:50,460
Nah nah nah, we're cool.
370
00:13:50,728 --> 00:13:52,732
They're actually gonna
take us to the coffee farm.
371
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,300
Oh. Wow.
372
00:13:54,736 --> 00:13:56,038
Uh... what?
373
00:14:02,718 --> 00:14:05,156
Alright.
That should keep him out.
374
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:08,195
Uh, I don't know, I kinda
feel bad about this, Tam.
375
00:14:08,296 --> 00:14:10,166
Look, I don't want to
do this either,
376
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,936
but Hank, we
gotta make sure this
377
00:14:12,036 --> 00:14:13,641
is a safe space
for our customers.
378
00:14:13,741 --> 00:14:15,410
So I talked to Max.
-And?
379
00:14:15,511 --> 00:14:18,750
- He basically confirmed it.
- Shut up.
380
00:14:18,783 --> 00:14:20,921
- Shh, shh, he's here.
Hey, Jay!
381
00:14:21,055 --> 00:14:24,361
Oooh, baby. That's him.
That's Jalen, Hank.
382
00:14:24,461 --> 00:14:25,497
Uh, who?
383
00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:27,635
Hey, Lex.
Hey, Soph.
384
00:14:27,668 --> 00:14:30,106
Uh, we need to talk?
385
00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:31,041
Yes. Yes.
386
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:32,912
Oh boy, Tam. Here he comes.
387
00:14:33,145 --> 00:14:36,319
So, I- I know we're tryna be
radically honest with
388
00:14:36,419 --> 00:14:38,790
each other,
but I kind of haven't been...
389
00:14:38,891 --> 00:14:41,730
Oh, this is a bomb.
This is a bomb!
390
00:14:41,763 --> 00:14:44,300
Yo Tam. Uh, the door's
a little tight.
391
00:14:46,873 --> 00:14:48,442
Oh my God!
Oh, no!
392
00:14:48,643 --> 00:14:49,646
Sorry!
393
00:14:49,679 --> 00:14:50,814
That was so intense.
394
00:14:50,947 --> 00:14:52,918
- Hey, you alright, man?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm good.
395
00:14:52,952 --> 00:14:54,420
Listen Mernft,
you can't be here.
396
00:14:54,420 --> 00:14:55,323
What'd you mean?
397
00:14:55,356 --> 00:14:56,960
I just don't think this
is your crowd.
398
00:14:57,060 --> 00:14:58,696
You're making people
feel uncomfortable.
399
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:00,399
Oh...
400
00:15:03,472 --> 00:15:05,376
Alright. Yeah...
401
00:15:06,512 --> 00:15:07,514
Message received.
402
00:15:07,848 --> 00:15:09,250
I gotcha.
403
00:15:10,487 --> 00:15:11,523
Oh.
404
00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:12,958
That is so messed up.
405
00:15:13,059 --> 00:15:14,829
Yeah, this place is
high-key ableist.
406
00:15:14,896 --> 00:15:16,833
Their coffee's not even
good anymore.
407
00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:18,937
Do you guys wanna go to
like, Books 'n' Beans?
408
00:15:18,971 --> 00:15:20,473
- Yass!
- Yeah, let's get outta here.
409
00:15:20,508 --> 00:15:23,246
Wait! No! Jalen,
c'mon. What was your secret?
410
00:15:23,346 --> 00:15:26,151
I need to know. Nooo!
Come back!
411
00:15:27,588 --> 00:15:29,993
Agh. Listen, Mark. I'm sorry
I said all that
412
00:15:30,026 --> 00:15:31,061
stuff about South Jersey.
413
00:15:31,295 --> 00:15:34,034
Honestly, it's not like I had
any real friends in Brooklyn.
414
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,640
Oh wow, so you're
saying we're real friends?
415
00:15:36,673 --> 00:15:38,375
Yeah. I guess I am.
416
00:15:38,475 --> 00:15:40,446
What I tell ya?
Nothing bonds bros
417
00:15:40,548 --> 00:15:42,851
more to a little
jungle adventure action.
418
00:15:43,085 --> 00:15:44,955
[branch snaps]
419
00:15:45,891 --> 00:15:47,193
Uh...
420
00:15:49,966 --> 00:15:51,869
Aaaaah!
- What the hell?
421
00:15:51,936 --> 00:15:53,438
Shoot!
-Ugh!
422
00:15:56,111 --> 00:15:58,349
Damn, dude. I think we
got a Predator situation.
423
00:15:58,482 --> 00:15:59,284
Run! Run!
424
00:15:59,384 --> 00:16:00,420
Huh, David, can you
believe that?
425
00:16:00,486 --> 00:16:03,358
- The guy's name is Corey.
- No, Mark! It means run!
426
00:16:04,629 --> 00:16:08,468
♪ [dramatic]
427
00:16:11,510 --> 00:16:15,382
Oh God. This bridge looks
uh... not to code.
428
00:16:15,416 --> 00:16:17,755
C'mon, David. That's just
your anxiety talking, dude.
429
00:16:17,888 --> 00:16:19,358
It's totally fine.
Ready? Look.
430
00:16:19,391 --> 00:16:21,395
See, this is like a
classic construction with the
431
00:16:21,429 --> 00:16:23,065
ropes and the little
pieces of wood.
432
00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:24,902
This is actually the
sturdiest bridge,
433
00:16:25,002 --> 00:16:26,539
but they don't build 'em
like this anymore
434
00:16:26,572 --> 00:16:28,342
because they're tryna
save money.
435
00:16:28,442 --> 00:16:29,277
Stop doing that!
436
00:16:29,444 --> 00:16:30,747
God, I know what's
gonna happen.
437
00:16:30,814 --> 00:16:32,985
I'm gonna take one step
and then the entire bridge
438
00:16:33,019 --> 00:16:34,789
is just gonna collapse.
- Alright well,
439
00:16:34,856 --> 00:16:38,563
have fun getting blasted by
that Predator alien thing.
440
00:16:40,935 --> 00:16:43,105
[creaking]
441
00:16:43,338 --> 00:16:47,648
[monkey screams]
Aaaaaaagh!
442
00:16:48,449 --> 00:16:51,388
Hey yo, Jinglebells!
You okay down there?
443
00:16:51,523 --> 00:16:53,893
Uh, I think so.
444
00:16:54,193 --> 00:16:58,235
Agh. There-- oop-- watch it--
yeah-- ohp-- ow.
445
00:16:58,537 --> 00:17:01,441
Hey David, check it out.
Yeah, I guess we uh,
446
00:17:01,743 --> 00:17:03,847
guess we got turned
around at some point.
447
00:17:03,947 --> 00:17:05,182
Mark!
448
00:17:06,485 --> 00:17:10,527
♪ [dramatic]
449
00:17:31,837 --> 00:17:33,405
He couldn't see me.
450
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,302
Where are you headed...
451
00:17:49,371 --> 00:17:54,548
♪ [action]
452
00:17:55,818 --> 00:17:56,852
Holy crap.
453
00:18:11,615 --> 00:18:12,818
Sorry, buddy.
454
00:18:24,007 --> 00:18:25,844
Frogged ya!
455
00:18:32,758 --> 00:18:34,360
What the hell?
456
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:39,505
Aaahhhhhh!
457
00:18:42,143 --> 00:18:43,245
What?
458
00:18:43,312 --> 00:18:45,048
I'm sorry again about
this mix-up.
459
00:18:45,149 --> 00:18:46,586
We're still cleaning this
place up.
460
00:18:46,652 --> 00:18:48,690
You know there's a lot
of guerrillas, gangs, whatnot.
461
00:18:48,790 --> 00:18:50,694
Hey, those guys were cool dudes.
- Mark?
462
00:18:50,727 --> 00:18:53,499
Yeah well, the locals aren't too
thrilled about the acquisition,
463
00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:54,802
so they can get a little frisky.
464
00:18:55,002 --> 00:18:57,608
Whoa there, Jinglebells. Wasn't
expecting to see you here.
465
00:18:57,641 --> 00:18:59,177
Uh, what's going on?
466
00:18:59,310 --> 00:19:01,749
Sup, bro.
Bioluminescent Kombucha?
467
00:19:02,083 --> 00:19:04,187
Oh, what happened to
my exo-suit?
468
00:19:04,220 --> 00:19:05,055
Exo-suit?
469
00:19:05,189 --> 00:19:07,528
Yeah, dude.
Predacore Exo Suit prototype.
470
00:19:07,562 --> 00:19:09,966
It is the optimal
tech-ware for those
471
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,268
who want to dominate
the jungle.
472
00:19:11,301 --> 00:19:12,905
Oh, okay. I don't care.
Who are you?
473
00:19:12,938 --> 00:19:13,607
Vijay!
474
00:19:14,074 --> 00:19:16,813
Yeah, he's actually the SVP
of Product at Blue Star.
475
00:19:16,913 --> 00:19:17,848
Wait... What?
476
00:19:18,015 --> 00:19:19,985
We operate all the coffee farms
in this region now.
477
00:19:20,018 --> 00:19:22,524
You tried these Golden Beans?
Dude they're sick, bro!
478
00:19:22,624 --> 00:19:24,227
Yeah, it looks like
we gotta take
479
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,732
the L on this one,
pal, but it's alright, dude.
480
00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:28,804
We'll beat the Cowboys
on the field, you know?
481
00:19:28,870 --> 00:19:30,674
No.
No!
482
00:19:30,807 --> 00:19:33,379
Nooooo!
483
00:19:33,647 --> 00:19:34,749
What the?
Oh!
484
00:19:34,849 --> 00:19:37,220
Dude, get off me!
I thought we were vibing!
485
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,726
No, we aren't vibing!
You know who I vibe with?
486
00:19:40,026 --> 00:19:43,633
The local-- independent--
artisanal-- coffee shops--
487
00:19:43,866 --> 00:19:46,606
that scumbags like you
are screwing over!
488
00:19:46,639 --> 00:19:48,676
Damn, David.
The hell's gotten into you?
489
00:19:48,810 --> 00:19:50,380
South Jersey, bitch.
490
00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:53,352
So you better un-franchise my
favorite coffee shop,
491
00:19:53,486 --> 00:19:56,258
or I'm gonna turn your head
into salted caramel cold foam.
492
00:19:56,358 --> 00:19:58,229
Dude, bro, listen!
I would if I could.
493
00:19:58,262 --> 00:19:59,665
But I don't work
in Franchise Dev!
494
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:03,405
Ugh. Fine. Then you're gonna
take down all that Cowboy's crap
495
00:20:03,540 --> 00:20:06,078
and put up a bunch
of... Eagles crap.
496
00:20:06,412 --> 00:20:09,886
Alright, alright, I'll talk to
my guy in Brand Experience.
497
00:20:09,919 --> 00:20:12,724
Ooh, damn Jinglebells.
That was savage, dude.
498
00:20:12,758 --> 00:20:14,494
You're over here beating
dudes' asses.
499
00:20:14,528 --> 00:20:16,966
I figured you'd be halfway back
to the airport by now.
500
00:20:16,999 --> 00:20:17,801
No way.
501
00:20:18,101 --> 00:20:20,072
I'm not leaving the jungle
without my best friend.
502
00:20:20,105 --> 00:20:23,613
Uh, yeah. Well, we're
not best friends... but yeah.
503
00:20:28,122 --> 00:20:29,290
Ooh, this looks cute.
504
00:20:29,290 --> 00:20:31,194
Oh man, look at all
those Eagles drinks.
505
00:20:31,261 --> 00:20:33,499
Nah. It's all about the
Golden Beans, baby.
506
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:36,237
Yo, Daved, uh, you want a large,
uh, Golden Brew?
507
00:20:36,271 --> 00:20:38,743
No thanks, I'm good.
I prefer local beans.
508
00:20:39,746 --> 00:20:40,747
Huh?
509
00:20:41,115 --> 00:20:42,150
Yo.
510
00:20:42,483 --> 00:20:45,690
Hey, Mernft. Listen, I'm
really sorry about everything.
511
00:20:45,723 --> 00:20:47,928
Ah, it's all good, Tam.
It's water under the bridge.
512
00:20:47,962 --> 00:20:50,667
I want you to know that you're
always welcome at our house.
513
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:53,172
That include a 24-hour use
of the hot tub?
514
00:20:53,305 --> 00:20:56,011
- Okay, don't push it.
- My guy?! What's up!
515
00:20:56,044 --> 00:20:57,548
Yo. Jay Money. You good?
516
00:20:57,548 --> 00:21:00,152
Yeah, man.
I just wanna say thank you.
517
00:21:00,286 --> 00:21:02,189
Our talk yesterday meant a
lot to me.
518
00:21:02,289 --> 00:21:04,428
All good, bud.
Whenever you need to talk,
519
00:21:04,428 --> 00:21:05,530
you know where to find me.
520
00:21:05,564 --> 00:21:07,701
For sure. Can I grab
you a drink?
521
00:21:07,768 --> 00:21:10,941
Ah, I appreciate it, yeah.
Lemme get a Jordan Mai-latte,
522
00:21:11,041 --> 00:21:12,277
no milk.
- You got it.
523
00:21:12,410 --> 00:21:14,414
Wait... are you guys
like... friends?
524
00:21:14,448 --> 00:21:16,785
Yeah, I mean, hey, let's just
say I got that
525
00:21:16,886 --> 00:21:17,721
safe space energy.
526
00:21:17,921 --> 00:21:20,426
Oh my God okay, so...
what was his big secret?
527
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,998
Yeah sorry, Tam, but uh,
violating the relational
528
00:21:23,098 --> 00:21:26,271
confidentiality goes against
the trust structure
529
00:21:26,305 --> 00:21:27,674
of the 'cule.
530
00:21:29,044 --> 00:21:30,045
Ah!
39845
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