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Zulu
America's only true safe space network television.
Yes. Ha, ha, ha. Yes.
I
don't
understand it. Whoever broke in here only took the grease we fry the donuts
Lord have mercy.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This is the pre -melt stuff, all right. 100 % all
grease. Lady Lippitt. To be gold.
Check this key.
Okay.
Crisis over.
We are devastated by the tragic loss of the irreplaceable Chief Wiggum.
We're replacing him with Lou.
Uh, thank you, Mr. Mayor. As my first official act, I will launch a full
investigation into what came up out of that pipe and did this to our chief.
To that end, I brought in a local expert in all things having to do with sewers,
sewage, and human waste.
Yeah, how you doing?
I spent my life in them pipes, panning for subway tokens and loose fillings.
over the years, youse people have turned my beautiful sewer into a cesspool. You
pour your cooking grease and your animal fat down the drain, and over time, all
that sloppy gunk stuck together and coagulated into what the legends call a
fatberg.
I'm just a simple turd monger, but there is only one explanation.
That fatberg got so big that it's got a feed.
And it's on the hunt for more grease.
And it's going to eat this whole large oven city if you don't do something.
Mr. Mayor, this is a serious threat. Until we find that fatberg, we need to
outlaw deep fryers and cancel the state fair.
Cancel the state fair?
You got no church.
The state fair is Grecia and Lardi Gras and Crisco must combine.
Well, I suppose the safety of our citizens is the most important. Now,
on one artery -clogging minute.
As the largest employer in town, I object to this adult -painted idea.
You can't shut down the state fair.
It'll ruin our fat -forward economy.
You tell him, Daddy. Don't interrupt me after I'm done talking, boy.
Great hat -smacking daddy?
Don't compliment my punishment, you idiot!
Now, Mr.
Mayor, if you cancel the fair, you won't have Simpson and Son greasing your
palms anymore. And I'm sure you don't want dry hands.
This is madness.
If this walking port -a -potty is right and there is a monster down there, we
can't risk our citizens' safety. I'm canceling the state fair under my
as chief of police.
Congratulations, Police Chief Eddie.
I hereby declare the state fair open with the lighting of the first fryer.
These fools, filling themselves with fried grief while there's a monster
underground. Don't they know they're tempting fat?
Oh, honey, you're a civilian now. Try to enjoy the fair.
The ice cream is so cold.
Now comes the innocent Trolli King.
Trolli, Trolli, Trolli, Trolli, Trolli!
Golly Zoom.
Try to enjoy the fair.
Lou, I was a fool not to believe you and this sewer -squatting human hemorrhoid.
Time to teach that monster a lesson. The only way I know how.
This here contraption will smack some sense into that mass of goo with the
of 50 ,000 megaswats!
Come and get it, fat bird!
Quirk, the monster's taking the bait!
It's rakish.
It didn't have a heart. Not even a creature of pure fat could handle what
Simpson was made of.
So, what are you going to do now?
What else?
I'm going to enjoy the fair.
The following is a recently discovered master tape and black and white behind
-the -scenes footage from a live TV event that shocked the nation on
night 1995.
It's the Krusty Halloween Special!
Hey, hey, kids!
This is my first ever live Halloween special.
But not because I'm desperate.
Comedy audiences can't sense desperation, can they? Can they?
Can they?
We can.
Okay.
We'll be right back after Krusty sucks down a little self -confidence juice.
Hey, Special K, great show.
Are you nuts?
I'm dying out there.
So special is your crazy idea.
Yeah, because you're in big trouble.
You think you're the only late -night kiddie clown on TV?
There's tons of other shows aiming for you, trying to knock you down to a 30
share. No show has ever gotten a rating that low.
And neither will yours, because I made a great deal for you. And it's all going
to pay off tonight. Now you go out there, and you deliver that brilliant,
cutting -edge comedy that you're famous for.
Father Bacosta, please exercise my daughter.
Something's happened to her.
of the exorcist? Now that's fresh.
We must cleanse her soul with pie.
I am Satan, and I have come for you.
Oh, the chimp's allowed to improv, but I'm not. I was in the groundling Sunday
company for seven years.
Somebody save Phil!
Somebody not me!
Has anybody on the crew got a gun?
Shoot the monkey!
I'd better get a smoke bonus for this.
This is the best Christmas ever!
Fantastic segment!
A man was just maimed for life by a demonic monkey!
I taste my only faith.
Hey, let me turn that frown upside down.
Bingo. I don't care what deal you made. We gotta pull the plug on this
nightmare. Are you nuts?
This thing is huge.
You're a smash.
They're puking in Peoria.
They're wrenching in Rochester.
They've got PTSD. It picks down South Dakota.
Now get back out there.
Oh, okay. Talking to the kids. This always plays.
Who are you dressed up as, slugger?
Why did the monkey rip the man's face off?
Will the face go to heaven?
Cute kids, cute kids. Each get a home version.
So, what's your deal, tiger?
Dr. Scott is inside my body.
I am Satan!
Stop!
This stupid show almost over.
I've been circling the parking lot for an hour.
Oh, no polyps. Well, that's good news.
Oh, my septum. I just had the cocaine hole patched.
Krusty, I have come to collect on a bargain made on your behalf. A deal
made by him.
This is all your fault.
You wouldn't shut up about the great deal you made because it was with the
devil. What? No.
What? The only deal I made was for this live TV Halloween special. I made the
deal with him.
But he likes a tattler.
Crusty, the only reason your show has lasted this long is because this child
made a deal with me to eliminate your competition.
I had to, Crusty. Those other shows were a threat to you. Those stupid high
-quality educational shows with redeeming social values.
And I cancelled them all so your unfunny schlockfest could endure.
Behold!
I did always wonder about the success of my unfunny schlockfest.
Now, I've fulfilled my end of the bargain, and tonight is the night I
what this boy promised in return.
Your eternal soul.
Rise, educational kits of bottom!
See you to the children's television devil's workshop.
Devil shoveled stomachs up in front of another clown.
anyone this horrific tape. Until today.
But now that streaming has crushed the TV business, even the devil can't save
show. It is rough out there. I would hate to be starting today.
So, do you want to buy that Halloween film footage?
It's definitely of a moment.
But is it of this moment?
What's the why now of this project?
In the beginning, Earth was green and lush with the occasional asteroid.
In the middle, decaying organic matter became oil, which became plastic.
In the end, after centuries of conspicuous consumption, all of Earth
a vast, shiny, inorganic desert of soda straws, tic -tac boxes, and recycling
bins called Plastic Worlds.
Slim Jim. Oh, Gil is eating this month.
My leader, tonight we feast on jerky!
Amidst the post -apocalyptic savagery, one visionary leader dreams of a
sustainable future for humanity.
organic food in a strange, dirty substance known as dirt.
I truly believe that somewhere underneath all the plastic, there is
that is why we dig.
Hey, Lisa! We tunneled down through a layer of little yellow ducts. But then
hit a vein of Halloween pumpkin pails.
But we blasted through it and found dirt!
Hundreds of miles of shaky and unsupported tunnels.
What
is
this place?
Forever food.
Everywhere.
Pure Uncut Twinkie.
will have a chance to survive.
The seeds are life.
Or not.
What up, Fugliosa?
Bart, I thought you were killed with Mom and Dad.
Nope, I survived.
Now I'm a raider, and you take what others find.
Raider Nation!
Well, two.
Well, not.
Two, two, two.
Mom,
Dad, are you alive?
Funny story.
We fell into a pool of tearing hot nuclear waste.
The molten radioactive plastic bonded with our DNA, months and months of
horrible indescribable agony, and here we are.
We can call ourselves that, but you can't. It's paradise.
No more scrounging for crumbs.
We wipe ourselves clean with a damp cloth.
The only problem is we can't have babies.
But we can still have fun. So if you hear some squeaking, don't come a
So why don't you join us? Just take a dip in the nuclear pond, liquefy your
innards, and become pure forever plastic like us.
Everybody in the pool.
Fellas.
No, you're not human anymore.
You're just flip -flops with eyes and opinions.
Humanity has to survive.
Be like us.
Be like us.
No, Mom, no.
It's our face.
Why won't you cry?
That doesn't work anymore, son.
G .I. Joe and his hairlessest kids.
Every bad birding bad boy knows that plastic's natural enemy is fire.
Oh, it feels so good.
You wouldn't kill your mother's boyfriend, would you?
Whoever dealt it, melt it.
We did it! We're alive!
With no food.
Well, Bart, I guess this is it.
That should be easy to kill.
Hey, no, no, don't you see? Even though she's made of plastic, this baby is the
next evolutionary phase of humanity.
This world doesn't belong to us anymore. It belongs to her.
And so plastic life took over the world and thrived.
We kept the humans alive for as long as we could, sheltering them on
reservations and naming sports teams after them.
Eventually, they died out, but we pay tribute to them because through their
mindless consumption, humanity created a perfect world.
What a wonderful world.
you
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