Original subtitles

I'm bored.

Where the hell have you been?

Me, Anduin.

Well, welcome back.

By the way, I can't seem

to find the Zimmerman file,

the Murdoch file, or the Rabinowitz file.

Oh, I got a new system.

They're under D.

Why D?

Cause they're dicks.

Fine.

Have you seen Julie Talbot's file?

She's under C.

Just put the files

back the way they were.

When did they move you to

the dark end of the building?

That voice is very

familiar, too familiar.

Bad?

Who else?

You like it this dark?

I feel like I'm trapped in a well.

What are you doing here?

That's some way to greet your father.

Hello, Mr. Tuppa.

Welcome to the office.

That's how you do it.

Thank you.

Sorry.

Bad.

All right.

What a surprise.

I mean, look at you.

You're in New York.

Yeah.

I'm moving back.

You are?

It's great.

Great, really great, but I

thought you loved Florida.

A world of people who are dead.

Get alive.

All your friends are in Florida.

Couldn't stand to place another minute.

Every time I went out, I'd see your

mother with that Harry.

Every time?

Well, once.

I was coming out of Ketchies,

and I saw them get onto a bus.

Now, Florida belongs to your mother now.

Me?

I'm taking New York.

Why New York, Dad?

I mean, you always said it

smelled like Aunt Minnie.

Well, for one thing, you're here.

By the way, is your ceiling

lower than all the others?

No, no, Dad.

It's a regular ceiling,

you know, standard height.

I don't know.

So, I guess I'll make

up Jeremy's room, right?

And you'll need a key.

Don't bother yourself.

I've already got a place to stay.

Oh, really?

I'm so disappointed I could cry.

That's great.

I mean, for you, I mean.

All right, where are we eating tonight?

Uh, how about Deli?

Nah, I'm sick of Deli.

Well, there's a great

Chinese place around the corner.

How about the Carnegie?

The Carnegie's a deli, Dad.

Fine by me?

Starting again.

Starting.

Starting again?

All right, so I'll see you

this evening around seven.

Sure, sure, Dad, seven's perfect.

No, I'll, I'm looking forward to it.

I'm fucked.

My father's moved to New York.

Hey, I know what it's like.

Ever since my mom's last divorce,

it's nothing but Toby

a boy, Toby I'm lonely,

Toby I'm so horny.

Did I need to hear that?

Wait a second.

Brain store.

Hello, Ma?

You free tonight?

I got you a date.

What are you doing?

Martin's dad.

Don't Toby, don't, shh, I'm on the phone.

I'll ask him.

Where we going?

Don't, hang up the phone.

I was thinking ribs.

Don't forget it.

Oh, you're right, not

a good first date food.

No, no, no, no, no.

My dad, your mom, it's a bad idea.

Why is something wrong with my mom?

No, no, it's just that she's.

It's just not a good

idea, so forget about it.

It's not gonna happen.

Fine, what does your

dad need new friends for?

After all, he's got you.

From now on, your life's gonna be

one long father-son car trip forever.

Does your mom like Italian?

Oh yeah, you go out with

those wopses, I tell ya.

They used to give him his table

all by himself over Tony's.

Six or seven times a

night, I'm not kidding ya.

But the guy who really

impressed me, Carmine Gambino.

Now you're boring everybody.

He could eat an

entire steak with his feet.

He's like that guy from my

left foot, only with steak.

Oh, here, allow me.

Guy I used to know could stick a whole

orange in his mouth.

So can I.

Does anybody see the waiter?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, get him over here.

He looks like he's got a

flashlight in his pants.

You know, Toby, you oughta go after him.

Ah, don't start with me.

Ooh.

Her sister's been

married four and a half times.

But no, this one, she's

gotta be a big shot career girl.

Some career, after 10

years she's still a secretary.

I'm a personal assistant.

At least she's got a skill.

Martin doesn't do anything.

I'm an editor dad, okay, I make books.

Bullshit, you don't make books.

Printers make books.

You read books.

I read books, where's my paycheck?

Mm, you're right dad,

you're right, you know, okay?

I don't do anything.

And you work for him.

Whoa, some career.

Ma, where did I go wrong?

She's got a good brain.

She could have been a croupier.

When Mr. Flashlight gets here,

order me a gun and two bullets.

You know, when I was Martin's age,

I had a home, a decent job,

and an office you could stand up in.

Who wants more Spimoni?

Boy, it breaks your heart

how things turn out, huh?

So, what do you say, Mike?

You could take me home or what?

Hey, it's my pleasure.

Thanks for dinner.

Yeah, thanks.

It was a delicious evening.

Hey, Martin, she's single.

I'll keep that in mind.

Goodnight, Ma.

Goodnight, son.

Goodnight.

Guess how much Martin makes?

Dad, please.

Please, he's so touchy.

That was dinner in hell.

Think I grew a tumor.

You know, if they got hitched,

we'd be brother and sister.

Only in the broadest legal sense.

I'd be Jeremy's aunt.

Aunt Toby.

Hey, what's his pan size?

Hey.

For gifts.

Check, please.

What the hell is the matter

with that daughter of yours?

Do you know what he did to my mother?

What?

What?

Nothing.

He just dropped her off.

Like she had a rash or

some kind of patch on her eye.

My father's just been

through a rough divorce.

You know, you can't expect

him to just bounce right back.

Oh, so what you're saying

is he's playing hard to get?

No.

What I'm saying is he's

still feeling a lot of pain

and vulnerability.

Listen, the last thing he

needs to do is jump into another

relationship right away.

Oh, so what you're saying is

he's afraid he might not be

able to keep up with us sexually?

Let it go at that.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.

I'm gonna find the bottom of the night.

Go ahead, run.

Step up to the plate.

It's a boy with Mike Tomahawk Johnson.

I would take you right

in the second about this.

Martin.

Hey, hey, hey, Dad.

I just thought I'd drop by

and check out your new place.

Come on, come on, you lousy bum-ya.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't know you had company. Oh, that's not company.

That's Roger.

It's his place.

Come on.

I thought you had your own apartment.

All right, yes!

Oh, don't tell me that's a home run.

Get out your wallet, loser.

You owe me 20 bucks.

Yeah, I got a goddamn

designated hitter rule anyway.

You know, if this was

1956, you'd owe me 20.

If this was 1956, you'd

be able to see your toes

in the shower.

Hi, Roger.

I'm Martin.

So this is the kid.

Nice to see you, Chee. You don't shake hands no more.

How are ya?

Dad.

I haven't seen you for a while.

Can I take you out for

a sandwich or something?

Oh, no, no.

We want to watch the other game.

Yeah.

Oh.

All right, if I join you?

Yeah, sure.

Get you up in here.

Come on, knock yourself out.

Excuse me.

What?

Sir, all right.

Who's that guy?

I got him from the potteries for that Dominican kid.

Oh, very delicious. I'm very glad you got him. The potteries for that Dominican kid.

Oh, what happened to what's his name?

Oh, yeah, Murshak,

Mitzi, the guy from 2.2.

Right, right.

We sent him down to Tidewater when they

brought up that lefty with a

sweat-finger fastball.

He pitched a perfect

game down in point of view.

Hey, isn't that the guy

from the Ford commercial?

Are we going to talk or are

we going to watch the game?

Yeah.

Sorry.

Full badly on the pitch of

how Perry has him by the throat.

Nothing.

I brought you this plan.

Shh.

He is indeed, Jim.

Perry the one.

Hey.

I'm going to get a cold beer.

You want one, Martin?

It's kind of early.

Well, you can operate

some heavy machinery later.

Okay.

What the hell?

Get him a cold one from the crisper.

So, Martin, what do you like?

Washington and Valley Ford.

Dewey and Manila.

Napoleon and Josephine.

What do you mean?

Team, what team?

Mets or Yankees?

He's a Mets fan like his old man.

So he's a loser like his old man.

Just kidding, Martin.

You're okay.

Here we go.

Two cold beers.

Forgot the chips.

Excuse me, Martin.

Well, here's the longer

days and the faster horses.

Who's Roger?

It's a friend of mine.

I met him down at Winter Park.

You know, you could have stayed with me.

I mean, this place is kind of small.

What do you know about small?

Compared to your office, this is like the ballroom at the Ritz.

I'm talking about my apartment, you know.

I've got plenty of room.

I'm fine here.

We can't, but if you stayed with me, we

can spend a little more time together.

We're spending time now.

Hey, don't try to slip me

any of those diet potato chips.

They're not good.

They taste like salty paper.

You're not wanted here.

Go!

Go!

Go!

Damn it.

Oh.

So instead, he's staying in this tiny

one-bedroom apartment, you know,

and I don't know.

He'd rather-- Would you cut that out?

Sorry.

Anyway, he'd rather spend time with this

Roger guy than with me.

Yeah, but you don't want

to spend time with him.

I know, but I want him to want me to

spend time with him.

Oh, so you can make some

excuse and blow him off.

Right, like a normal family.

I don't know.

Maybe he's mad at me, you know.

Maybe I took my mom's

side too much in the divorce.

Maybe he's allergic to scruffy.

Who? I thought you had a cat named Scruffy.

Why don't you get a cat?

I don't have any cats.

What line is this?

Maybe he'd rather be

with someone his own age.

You think so?

Could be.

Or maybe they're lovers.

Yeah, right.

No, man, think about it.

A lonely man in his 60s, recently

divorced, looking for love.

Fuck you, okay, Eddie?

The love that dare not speak its name.

Maybe its name is Roger.

Yeah, well, maybe your mom's a lesbian.

Hey, man, don't talk about my mama.

Hi, Dan.

Did I miss anything?

Just the anthem.

Who's Malcolm Jermell Warner?

You know who that is.

Beer?

Oh, real beer.

Wow, but give me one of these.

Oh, no, you don't.

It's light beer for you.

Gay, isn't it? I'm tired of drinking that rainwater.

Can I have half of one of these?

All right.

But no cake tonight.

Who are you, the president?

So, Martin, how's it hanging?

Fine, thanks.

We're gonna have these again?

Yeah.

Oh, Mickey, you got a

fuzzball on your face.

What?

You got a fuzzball on your face.

What, you got another one in your ear?

Where?

No, on the other side.

Aw.

Now come close to me, wifey.

Come close to me.

So, Roger, you, uh,

you ever been married?

No, I'm not the marrying kind.

Uh, oh, uh, Martin,

guess what we did today.

Can't imagine.

I bought him some slippers?

No, after that.

The golf.

Oh, yeah, you know, you're dead.

That's like an old lady.

This guy spent so much

time in the sand trap,

we might as well go under the beach.

Don't you listen to

this lousy cocksucker?

What was that word again?

No, that's a great

place you got here, Roger.

Uh, how many bedrooms?

Just one.

But this is a pullout.

No, it's not a pullout.

Hey, I'm finishing this entire beer.

Try and stop me.

It's up to you.

I'm not the one who's

got to get into your pants.

Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.

Can I use your bathroom?

No, down the hall.

Knock yourself out.

Grabowski's on the mound.

Whoa.

Didn't he pitch yesterday?

Not last week.

He's being that guy

with the base of money.

Been riding the fine lady.

Oh, yeah, right.

He's got a lot of work to do.

Yeah, but he can't put

it all the way through.

Man and wife?

Nope.

Both men.

They're gay.

If you shoot in blue...

Blue in who?

Me?

I'm an oil man.

A very unusual oil man.

Well, wherever there's smoke, there must

be somebody smoking.

Wait till you see the baby's room.

We've got Roy Lichtenstein

doing a mural on the ceiling.

No kidding.

And Richard's bringing back a crib and an

Aboriginal tribe

hand-carved from Backbush

Corp.

Jeez, I'm sure that's lovely.

You know, they say the

luster sparks creativity.

Judith, could you just shut up, please?

Excuse me?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm just a little on

edge about my father.

And Roger.

Martin, I understand that you're feeling

a little excluded

from your father's life.

No, no, no, no.

That's not quite it.

No, I think it is.

I mean, your parents have split up, and

they're finding new

interests, and then naturally,

you're going to be

feeling a little jealous.

Believe me.

Believe me.

I'm not feeling jealous.

Well, that's what I'm sensing.

Well, sense this, Judith.

My father's gay.

What?

He's gay.

My dad's gay.

Yeah.

And his boyfriend, Roger, you know?

He's gay too.

Okay, hold on here.

Just back up a second.

When did he tell you this?

He didn't tell me.

I had to figure it out for myself, from

the light beer and the fuzzball and the--

A very unusual old man.

Believe me.

He's gay.

Okay, okay.

Let's just say for a

minute that he is gay.

No, don't say that.

Don't say that.

Why did you have to say that?

What do you want me to say?

Do you want me to say that he's not gay?

Yes, yes, yes, I do,

because he can't be gay.

You know why?

Because he's my father.

And if my father were gay, then I

wouldn't be here, right?

And I know I'm here

because I can do this.

And this.

And this.

And this.

And this.

These shoes are sweet.

Sure.

Rotten, I think you need

to speak to your father.

And don't you ever

tell me to show me that.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment

we have all been waiting.

Great.

You're here. Let's eat.

Dad?

Is Roger here?

No, he's still at the track.

Good.

Because there's something I...

Can we sit down?

We'll be sitting down in the restaurant.

No, no, come on, Dad.

I just want to talk.

Fine.

He wants to talk?

Fine.

Talk.

Knock yourself out.

Dad.

Help me.

I didn't pay a lot for that jacket.

Dad?

I was just wondering now, are you...

going to be getting

your own place pretty soon?

Let's go. I'm starving.

Okay, Dad.

I got to ask you, you

know, and I'm going to ask you.

Are you...

Is Roger...

Are you and Roger...

At 6.30, we're never

going to get a table.

Dad?

Are you gay?

No, I'm not gay.

Geez, Dad.

I'm sorry, you know, I was just...

I don't know.

I don't know.

You could have thought this

was crazy, you know, but I...

I thought you and Roger were...

sweeping together.

Well, if you're going to split hairs.

Gay!

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

You are gay?

What?

You check out a ball player's butt once

in a while, does that make you gay?

You look at an underwear

ad and get a little excited.

Does that make you gay?

You sleep with a guy once

or twice, maybe in the army.

Does that make you gay?

Technically.

Fine.

You want to label me?

Label me.

I'm gay.

I'm a gay man.

Happy?

No, no, no, I'm not happy.

I'm nowhere fucking close to happy.

I mean, what about your marriage?

What about Mom?

What about me and Susan?

Hey, I love you, kids.

I love your mother.

I'd probably still be married if it

wasn't for that dope Harry.

And that whole time you

were attracted to men.

Not all men.

Your whole life has been a lie, right?

One big fucking lie.

Hey, don't talk to me like that.

I'm still your father.

Are you?

I don't know.

I don't know who you are.

Yeah?

Well, that makes two of us.

Hey, I'm...

I'm winging this.

I don't know what I'm doing.

It's all new.

I'm moving to New York.

I'm living with a guy.

He's buying me slippers.

And I'm liking it.

Aw, jeez.

Dang.

I'm sorry if I disappoint you.

No, no, no.

It's not that, you know.

I just...

I just want to die.

I just want you to be happy.

Thanks.

Why did you pick me, Joey?

Don't you know I'm the most unlikeliest

daddy in the whole army?

Hey, I hit the exacto.

I won 247.

I can come back.

Hold it.

I told him.

You told him, told him?

I told him.

You told him, told him?

Wow.

Look at the balls on you.

Has he told you how

crazy I am about this guy?

Should we call Don, daddy, now?

Come on, get off me, will ya?

Are we still gonna eat?

No, he took two buses down here to talk

about your sex life.

Come on.

Let's go.

Roger, would you like to join us?

Martin, you that okay with this?

No.

No, no.

I was just trying to be polite.

That's okay.

Enough said.

I don't think it makes much difference

whose father can like whose father.

There are many more important problems in

the world than that.

No, come on.

Come on, I can...

I really want you to.

All right, then it's my treat.

Compliments of devils

delight in the seven.

And Martin, one more thing.

You had that?

Don't tell your mother.

Not a problem.