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1
00:00:02,550 --> 00:00:04,550
Gosh and gollies,
what is the world
coming to?
2
00:00:04,550 --> 00:00:06,560
Listen to this.
3
00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:09,060
It says here, "15 percent
of the American public
4
00:00:09,060 --> 00:00:12,060
"would rather watch television
than have sex."
5
00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:16,000
Fifteen... Yeah, yeah,
I'd buy that. Yeah.
6
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,170
You know,
maybe you're, uh,
7
00:00:20,170 --> 00:00:23,170
you're too tired
or she's too, uh...
8
00:00:23,670 --> 00:00:24,670
What's a nice way
to put this?
9
00:00:24,670 --> 00:00:26,880
Ugly.
10
00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:29,850
The words "too tired"
aren't in my vocabulary.
11
00:00:29,850 --> 00:00:31,850
And, frankly, Roy,
I don't think
the words "too ugly"
12
00:00:31,850 --> 00:00:32,850
should be in yours.
13
00:00:34,820 --> 00:00:36,290
Hey, Lowell.
14
00:00:36,290 --> 00:00:40,220
Lowell, would you
rather watch television
or have sex?
15
00:00:40,220 --> 00:00:42,660
Buy me dinner
and the choice is yours.
16
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,530
(SIGHING)
You know I was kidding,
right?
17
00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:54,500
(SEAGULLS CAWING)
18
00:02:03,110 --> 00:02:04,110
(PLANE ENGINE HUMMING)
19
00:02:05,610 --> 00:02:07,110
Hey, Joe. Uh, do you
know the number
20
00:02:07,580 --> 00:02:09,010
for the club car?
21
00:02:09,010 --> 00:02:11,050
What am I, information?
Just look it up.
22
00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:20,020
Thanks, pal.
23
00:02:20,020 --> 00:02:22,960
Hey, I really like
what you've done
with that wall.
24
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,960
What have you done
with that wall?
25
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:28,470
How could Helen
do this to me?
26
00:02:28,460 --> 00:02:30,900
How could she
just drive her jeep
through my office?
27
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,400
Ah, let's see.
28
00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:35,840
You ask her
to come back
to Nantucket,
29
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,840
you lead her to believe
that you're still
in love with her,
30
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,310
and then she finds out
you're involved
with another woman.
31
00:02:40,310 --> 00:02:44,250
Let's see if we can piece
this mystery together.
32
00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:46,750
Does that justify
her destroying
my private property?
33
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,250
No, but I salute
her sense of whimsy.
34
00:02:50,650 --> 00:02:52,120
(IMITATING DOOR OPENING)
35
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:53,120
Ta-ta, darling.
36
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,320
(IMITATING DOOR CLOSING)
37
00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:01,030
Okay, okay, Lowell,
I'll ask.
38
00:03:01,030 --> 00:03:05,100
Joe, have you decided
who you're going to hire
to rebuild the office?
39
00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:06,170
Uh, yeah.
40
00:03:06,170 --> 00:03:08,470
Oh, good, because Lowell's
been pestering me all day
41
00:03:08,470 --> 00:03:09,970
to see if you
accepted his bid.
42
00:03:11,470 --> 00:03:13,180
(POWER DRILL WHIRRING)
43
00:03:14,210 --> 00:03:16,210
I think he's ready.
44
00:03:17,710 --> 00:03:19,220
I'm not giving Lowell
the job.
45
00:03:19,220 --> 00:03:21,180
You're not?
No.
46
00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:22,990
Look, if I needed
an engine rebuilt,
47
00:03:22,990 --> 00:03:24,450
Lowell would be
the first person I'd call.
48
00:03:24,450 --> 00:03:26,460
But this is finished
carpentry work.
49
00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:27,460
I'm going with John Livings.
50
00:03:27,460 --> 00:03:29,460
He's very experienced,
very reliable.
51
00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:31,290
Well, before you break
the news to Lowell,
52
00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:34,700
I'd take away
his power tools.
53
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,700
Fay, you know how I've been
meaning to start delegating
54
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:39,200
more authority around here?
55
00:03:40,570 --> 00:03:41,570
No.
56
00:03:41,570 --> 00:03:43,070
Well, I'm starting now.
57
00:03:43,570 --> 00:03:44,970
You tell Lowell
he didn't get the job.
58
00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:46,480
Me?
Absolutely.
59
00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:49,080
It's--It's always easier
hearing bad news
from you, Fay.
60
00:03:49,580 --> 00:03:53,080
Maybe it's your gentle voice,
or your sweet smile.
61
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,180
And the fact that
you're a big weenie?
62
00:03:57,850 --> 00:03:59,220
The biggest.
63
00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,690
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
64
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:07,360
Excuse me.
65
00:04:07,860 --> 00:04:10,370
Is that your cab
out front?
66
00:04:10,370 --> 00:04:14,370
Signore, just because
I have the look
of a simple man
67
00:04:14,370 --> 00:04:17,370
with nothing to do
and no place to go,
68
00:04:17,870 --> 00:04:20,380
you assume I am
a common cab driver
69
00:04:20,380 --> 00:04:22,080
waiting for a fare?
70
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:23,380
Uh, yes.
71
00:04:23,380 --> 00:04:24,880
Good, then it's working.
72
00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:28,380
Antonio Scarpacci,
at your service.
73
00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:29,890
Best cab on the island.
74
00:04:29,890 --> 00:04:31,390
You need a ride,
I'm your man.
75
00:04:31,390 --> 00:04:32,860
Great.
Can you drive me into town?
76
00:04:33,290 --> 00:04:34,660
Sorry, I'm off duty.
77
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,530
So, you decided
to go with someone else.
78
00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:46,970
Yeah, Lowell, look,
it's not that I don't...
Ah, save it, Joe.
79
00:04:46,970 --> 00:04:48,970
I know you don't have
any faith in my work.
80
00:04:48,970 --> 00:04:51,970
Lowell, get
the hell out there
and fix my altimeter,
81
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,650
or I'll can
your lazy butt!
82
00:04:55,650 --> 00:04:57,580
At least Roy
appreciates me.
83
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,890
Helen? Well, look,
84
00:05:04,890 --> 00:05:07,020
I want you to know that
85
00:05:07,020 --> 00:05:09,030
I understand
the frustration
86
00:05:09,030 --> 00:05:10,360
that led you to drive
through my office,
87
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,830
and I am really sorry
I didn't tell you
about me and Gail.
88
00:05:14,830 --> 00:05:16,830
I never intended to hurt you.
89
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:22,740
Well, that's very considerate
of you, Joe.
90
00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:24,070
Thank you.
91
00:05:24,070 --> 00:05:25,540
You're welcome.
92
00:05:25,540 --> 00:05:27,480
Now, I'll just
leave you with this
93
00:05:27,980 --> 00:05:30,380
and you can
get it back to me
whenever it's convenient.
94
00:05:30,380 --> 00:05:31,410
What--What is this?
95
00:05:31,850 --> 00:05:33,250
It's what you owe me
for the damage.
96
00:05:35,220 --> 00:05:37,720
What I owe you?
97
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,160
Don't you have insurance?
98
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:40,660
Oh, of course I do,
99
00:05:40,660 --> 00:05:43,290
but I think it's only right
that you pay the deductible.
100
00:05:43,290 --> 00:05:44,830
A thousand dollar deductible?
101
00:05:45,330 --> 00:05:47,830
What's your monthly premium,
19 cents?
102
00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:50,670
Look, you're lucky
that I'm not asking you
to pay for the whole thing.
103
00:05:50,670 --> 00:05:53,670
No, you're lucky
all I did was
plow through your office.
104
00:05:53,670 --> 00:05:56,310
I could have come gunning
for your scrawny little hide.
105
00:05:56,310 --> 00:05:58,770
Oh, well, gee, I guess
I should be thankful
106
00:05:58,770 --> 00:05:59,810
that, uh, you're just
a jealous harpy
107
00:05:59,810 --> 00:06:01,880
and not a homicidal maniac.
108
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,010
Guess you should be.
109
00:06:04,010 --> 00:06:06,550
Look, Helen, I don't want
to have this argument.
110
00:06:06,550 --> 00:06:08,380
I just want my money.
111
00:06:08,380 --> 00:06:09,920
Too bad.
I'm not gonna pay you.
112
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:11,920
You have to.
113
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,490
Says who?
114
00:06:13,490 --> 00:06:15,490
Says me.
You're responsible.
115
00:06:15,490 --> 00:06:16,960
I don't care.
I'm not gonna pay you.
116
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:20,200
That's not fair.
117
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,060
So?
118
00:06:23,330 --> 00:06:25,330
I want my money
and I want it now!
119
00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:29,240
Sit on it and twirl.
120
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:34,780
Hey, why do you fight
with such a beautiful woman?
121
00:06:34,780 --> 00:06:36,210
Because she owes me money.
122
00:06:36,210 --> 00:06:38,680
Joe, Joe. Joe!
123
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,180
Never loan money
to a former lover.
124
00:06:41,180 --> 00:06:42,690
Never!
125
00:06:42,690 --> 00:06:45,690
That money you loan her,
kiss it goodbye.
126
00:06:45,690 --> 00:06:48,690
Ah, there it goes,
fly away like a little bird.
127
00:06:48,690 --> 00:06:50,190
Bye-bye.
128
00:06:50,190 --> 00:06:51,730
No, I--I didn't
loan her money.
129
00:06:52,230 --> 00:06:53,230
She destroyed my office.
130
00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:55,060
I'm trying to get her
to pay for the damage.
131
00:06:55,060 --> 00:06:59,100
Well, you will not get it
by screaming
and yelling at her.
132
00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:02,100
You must speak softly
and respectfully.
133
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:04,610
Treat her like
the delicate flower
that she is.
134
00:07:05,110 --> 00:07:07,510
(LAUGHING)
Helen would laugh
in my face.
135
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,080
Then you must sue her.
136
00:07:12,580 --> 00:07:14,050
What?
137
00:07:14,050 --> 00:07:15,550
Yes, sue her.
138
00:07:15,550 --> 00:07:17,050
Take her to court.
139
00:07:17,050 --> 00:07:21,290
Next to baseball,
it's America's favorite sport.
140
00:07:21,290 --> 00:07:23,790
Antonio, there's no way.
I'm not gonna sue her.
141
00:07:23,790 --> 00:07:27,030
Joe, you remember
the restaurant
I used to work in?
142
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:30,700
One night, a man dining there
choked on a chicken bone.
143
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,200
(IMITATING CHOKING)
144
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:37,040
A lawsuit was filed,
cost the restaurant
half a million dollars.
145
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,440
Wow, he must've had
a good lawyer.
146
00:07:38,770 --> 00:07:40,680
But a lousy paramedic.
He died.
147
00:07:42,610 --> 00:07:46,120
But his wife now drives
a brand new Lamborghini.
148
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:49,620
I hear a chicken bone hangs
from the rear view mirror.
149
00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:56,230
You see, that is the problem
with our society.
150
00:07:56,230 --> 00:07:59,230
People think that
they have to go to court
to settle their differences.
151
00:07:59,230 --> 00:08:00,730
But Helen and I are friends.
152
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:01,730
And we're gonna settle this
as friends.
153
00:08:02,230 --> 00:08:03,330
Now you watch.
154
00:08:03,330 --> 00:08:06,270
She's gonna come to her senses
and meet her responsibilities.
155
00:08:06,270 --> 00:08:09,370
Hey, Helen! Helen?
156
00:08:09,370 --> 00:08:10,910
What?
157
00:08:10,910 --> 00:08:12,940
Look, now that you've had
a few minutes to cool down,
158
00:08:12,940 --> 00:08:15,550
how'd you like
to write me that check?
159
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,080
You want a check?
160
00:08:23,990 --> 00:08:25,350
There's your money.
161
00:08:25,350 --> 00:08:27,060
Thank you.
162
00:08:27,060 --> 00:08:28,890
Uh, excuse me, Helen,
163
00:08:28,890 --> 00:08:30,890
I can't even read
who this is made out to.
164
00:08:30,890 --> 00:08:32,530
What's this last word here?
165
00:08:33,030 --> 00:08:34,030
Hole.
166
00:08:44,070 --> 00:08:46,580
I'll have her spleen
on a plate.
167
00:08:47,380 --> 00:08:49,380
It's the American way.
168
00:09:02,490 --> 00:09:03,990
Fay!
169
00:09:04,530 --> 00:09:05,500
What is it, Joe?
170
00:09:05,930 --> 00:09:07,400
How am I supposed
to run an airline
171
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:09,300
when I don't even
have an office here?
172
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,830
And that stupid contractor
started this job
three days ago,
173
00:09:12,330 --> 00:09:13,340
and he hasn't
been back since.
174
00:09:13,340 --> 00:09:15,100
Where the hell is he?
175
00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:17,640
Oh, uh, that's right.
With all my
new responsibilities,
176
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,140
I forgot to tell you.
177
00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:20,640
He's on Martha's Vineyard.
178
00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:24,150
Something about Carly Simon
needing some work done
on her beach house.
179
00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:26,650
Oh, great.
I got dumped for a celebrity.
180
00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,620
Oh, no, Joe,
it's not like that at all.
181
00:09:28,620 --> 00:09:30,090
Well, when is he coming back?
182
00:09:30,090 --> 00:09:33,120
I don't know.
After that he's doing
Walter Cronkite's sun deck.
183
00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:35,560
This guy's very much
in demand.
184
00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:37,590
You're really lucky
to have him.
185
00:09:37,590 --> 00:09:40,530
I don't have him.
Carly and Walter have him.
186
00:09:40,530 --> 00:09:44,000
Well, I guess I'm going to
ask Lowell to finish the job.
187
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,000
Well, that might not be
as easy as you think.
188
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,000
I mean, Lowell does have
his pride.
189
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,470
(SCOFFING)
Oh, come on, Fay.
190
00:09:49,470 --> 00:09:51,470
We're talking about someone
known around the island
191
00:09:51,470 --> 00:09:54,910
as "The Man
Who'll Eat Anything
for a Quarter."
192
00:09:54,910 --> 00:09:57,350
Fifty cents,
if it's still wriggling.
193
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:01,520
Hi, Lowell.
194
00:10:01,950 --> 00:10:02,950
Can't really talk now, Joe.
195
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,890
I'm working
on Helen's jeep here.
196
00:10:04,890 --> 00:10:08,390
Apparently, I was
good enough for her.
197
00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:10,830
Well, look,
you're good enough
for me, too.
198
00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:13,130
How'd you like
to rebuild my office?
199
00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:15,630
Well, well, well.
200
00:10:16,130 --> 00:10:19,140
Look who comes crawling back
to good old Lowell.
201
00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:20,640
I admit it.
I made a mistake.
202
00:10:21,140 --> 00:10:24,310
Oh, yes, you did.
203
00:10:24,810 --> 00:10:27,810
Lowell, you don't have to
make this any harder for me
than it already is.
204
00:10:27,810 --> 00:10:29,810
Oh, yes, I do.
205
00:10:31,550 --> 00:10:32,780
You hurt me, Joe.
206
00:10:32,780 --> 00:10:34,280
Lowell, I'm sorry...
207
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:37,190
No, I mean really hurt me.
208
00:10:37,190 --> 00:10:38,120
Is this about money?
209
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,560
Yes, it is.
210
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,060
Well, go ahead.
Name your price.
211
00:10:42,530 --> 00:10:43,960
$50,000.
212
00:10:45,900 --> 00:10:46,930
$2,000.
213
00:10:46,930 --> 00:10:48,900
All right, we're bargaining.
I like that.
214
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:50,600
$20,000.
215
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,600
Lowell, I can really
only afford $2,000.
216
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,670
Oh, you're a shrewd one,
Joe Hackett.
217
00:10:54,670 --> 00:10:56,470
$5,000.
218
00:10:56,470 --> 00:10:58,210
$2,000.
219
00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:03,250
Joe, you got to give me
something here.
220
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:05,210
Okay.
221
00:11:05,210 --> 00:11:06,950
$2,000 and a new hat.
222
00:11:06,950 --> 00:11:08,250
Done! Ha!
223
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:12,260
Well, it's nice
doing business with you, Joe.
224
00:11:23,130 --> 00:11:25,130
Hey, Brian,
how was the flight?
225
00:11:25,130 --> 00:11:28,140
I'm not telling.
You'll just have to watch
the news tonight.
226
00:11:29,140 --> 00:11:30,770
Good, good.
Listen, do me a favor.
227
00:11:30,770 --> 00:11:32,740
Give this to Helen.
228
00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:35,740
Uh, this is a subpoena.
229
00:11:35,740 --> 00:11:37,210
You're gonna sue her?
230
00:11:37,210 --> 00:11:38,720
JOE: I'm just taking her
to small claims court.
231
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,650
That's--That's nice, Joe,
real nice.
232
00:11:40,650 --> 00:11:43,120
Hey, $1,000
is a lot of money.
233
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,120
I've gotta get it back
somehow.
234
00:11:44,590 --> 00:11:46,090
Well, you give her
the subpoena.
235
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:47,890
No, I can't.
The law says someone else
has to give it to her.
236
00:11:47,890 --> 00:11:49,190
Well, don't look at me.
237
00:11:49,190 --> 00:11:51,560
You find some other flunky
to do your dirty work.
238
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:53,560
Uh, Fay?
239
00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:58,070
Is my job
on the line?
Yes.
240
00:11:58,070 --> 00:12:00,570
Fine. I'll finish the day
and pick up my check
in the morning.
241
00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:03,070
Oh, okay, okay, okay.
I'll get-- I'll get
someone else to do it.
242
00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:05,980
Hey, way to stand up
to the boss man, Fay.
243
00:12:07,380 --> 00:12:08,880
I was bluffing.
244
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,220
Give me that, Hackett.
I'll be your delivery boy.
245
00:12:13,220 --> 00:12:14,980
Do you know what to do?
Oh, sure.
246
00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:16,990
I served a subpoena
to my mother once.
247
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,430
You sued your own mother?
248
00:12:22,420 --> 00:12:24,390
No, I just served her.
249
00:12:25,390 --> 00:12:27,760
Dad made me.
250
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,230
See, the trick is
with these things
251
00:12:29,730 --> 00:12:32,240
you got to surprise
the subpoenee.
252
00:12:32,230 --> 00:12:34,240
Not let 'em see
what's coming.
253
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:35,740
Observe.
254
00:12:37,770 --> 00:12:38,970
Hey, Helen?
255
00:12:38,970 --> 00:12:40,440
Yeah.
256
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,080
How about a nice,
cool glass of lemonade, huh?
257
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:44,410
Sure, Roy.
258
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,290
Here you go.
259
00:12:53,820 --> 00:12:54,860
What's this?
260
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:56,890
It's a subpoena, toots.
261
00:13:00,430 --> 00:13:02,970
You can consider yourself
served.
262
00:13:04,830 --> 00:13:06,130
So can you.
263
00:13:28,220 --> 00:13:31,430
How could you
do this to me, Joe?
264
00:13:31,430 --> 00:13:33,430
I tried to reason with you
and you wouldn't listen.
265
00:13:33,430 --> 00:13:35,060
I had no choice.
266
00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:37,470
We've been friends
for 20 years.
267
00:13:37,470 --> 00:13:38,730
I know, but...
268
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,970
You know I don't have
that kind of money.
269
00:13:41,970 --> 00:13:44,370
I lost all my savings
in New York.
270
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,340
I'm barely scraping by
as it is.
271
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:50,310
Well, look, you know,
you don't have to pay me
all at once.
272
00:13:50,310 --> 00:13:52,820
We can agree on some kind
of installment plan.
273
00:13:52,820 --> 00:13:56,490
You hit me with this when
I'm at a really low point.
274
00:13:56,490 --> 00:13:58,350
I realize that's it's not...
275
00:13:58,350 --> 00:14:00,660
I don't have
a professional life.
276
00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:02,660
I don't have a social life.
277
00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:06,000
I don't have anything.
278
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:08,870
Helen, maybe we both need...
279
00:14:08,860 --> 00:14:11,830
I was just angry and upset.
280
00:14:11,830 --> 00:14:14,340
I didn't mean
to hurt anybody.
281
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:18,440
Uh, Helen, I--I...
282
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,940
Maybe I did overreact,
283
00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:23,680
and I should have taken
into account your, uh,
situation and everything.
284
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,180
Why--Why don't I
just drop this case
285
00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:29,180
and we'll move on
from here?
286
00:14:31,190 --> 00:14:32,790
Really, Joe?
287
00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:34,290
Yeah, really.
288
00:14:36,290 --> 00:14:37,790
Thank you.
289
00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:41,030
You don't know
what this means to me.
290
00:14:41,300 --> 00:14:42,800
Hey, no problem.
291
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,600
(PLANE ENGINE HUMMING)
292
00:14:47,940 --> 00:14:50,770
Hey, hey! I saw that!
293
00:14:51,070 --> 00:14:52,370
Saw what?
294
00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:54,140
That little smile of yours.
295
00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:56,150
I saw your reflection
in the glass.
296
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,480
I was just so happy.
297
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:02,850
No, that wasn't a happy smile.
298
00:15:02,850 --> 00:15:06,720
That was an "I've got you
wrapped around
my little finger" smile.
299
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,730
(CRYING) Oh, Joe...
Oh, cut it out!
300
00:15:09,730 --> 00:15:11,230
You're not playing me
for a sucker.
301
00:15:11,730 --> 00:15:13,700
I'll see you in court.
302
00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:14,700
All right!
303
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,600
You want to sue me
for $1,000?
304
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,600
Yes, I do!
305
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:22,070
Hey, why stop there?
Why not just run
the total up a bit?
306
00:15:22,070 --> 00:15:23,310
Hey, hey, hey!
307
00:15:23,310 --> 00:15:24,770
What--What'd that bring
the total to?
308
00:15:24,770 --> 00:15:27,210
Uh, about $1,100.
309
00:15:27,210 --> 00:15:29,710
And you are just
throwing money away
because you don't have a case.
310
00:15:29,710 --> 00:15:31,980
Well, good.
Why not just have
a little fun then?
311
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:33,380
Hey, wait! Uh...
312
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,620
$1,140, $1,170...
313
00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:39,720
Fay, what did I pay
for that antique
picture frame?
314
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,060
FAY: $75.
315
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,020
$1,245!
316
00:15:43,030 --> 00:15:45,130
No, no!
Don't you even
think about it.
317
00:15:45,630 --> 00:15:47,460
That is priceless.
318
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:50,100
60 bucks!
319
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:53,100
That brings the total
to $1,305,
320
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:57,440
and that will run you
$225, missy.
321
00:16:21,930 --> 00:16:24,930
And then she very calmly
and unemotionally
322
00:16:24,930 --> 00:16:28,440
drove her jeep into my hangar
and smashed through my office.
323
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,440
And you feel
this was intentional?
324
00:16:30,940 --> 00:16:31,940
Yes, Your Honor.
325
00:16:31,940 --> 00:16:35,440
It was a malicious
and completely unprovoked act.
326
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,450
Well, given your version
of events,
327
00:16:37,450 --> 00:16:40,920
and Miss Chapel's failure
to appear and defend herself,
I must find...
328
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,420
Your Honor!
329
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,420
Helen Chapel appearing
before the court.
330
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:47,890
Wait now, hold on one minute!
What is this?
331
00:16:47,890 --> 00:16:49,790
You're late, Miss Chapel.
332
00:16:49,790 --> 00:16:51,830
I'm sorry, Your Honor.
I had a hard time
getting here.
333
00:16:51,830 --> 00:16:53,760
I'm not used to
these crutches.
334
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,300
Oh, who do you think
you're fooling with this act?
335
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:57,230
Quiet, Mr. Hackett.
336
00:16:57,230 --> 00:16:58,730
My apologies.
HELEN: Thank you.
337
00:16:58,730 --> 00:17:01,170
The court was unaware
of your condition.
338
00:17:01,170 --> 00:17:02,670
Oh, what condition,
Your Honor?
339
00:17:02,670 --> 00:17:04,170
She has pulled
this kind of thing before.
340
00:17:04,170 --> 00:17:05,640
She's a known scam artist.
341
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,980
Shame on you,
Helen Chapel!
342
00:17:08,980 --> 00:17:10,980
If I might explain...
JOE: Oh, give me a break!
343
00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:12,850
She's playing you
for a sucker, Judge.
344
00:17:12,850 --> 00:17:14,350
I assure you
that my injuries are real...
345
00:17:14,350 --> 00:17:17,320
Oh, for God's sakes,
she's faking it to gain
the court's sympathy.
346
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,290
Stick a pin in her leg.
347
00:17:19,290 --> 00:17:21,690
I'm injured, you idiot,
not paralyzed.
348
00:17:22,020 --> 00:17:23,530
Yeah, sure you are.
Make her dance.
349
00:17:23,530 --> 00:17:24,990
See if she'll dance
under oath.
350
00:17:24,990 --> 00:17:27,000
Mr. Hackett!
351
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,000
Your Honor,
I can barely stand.
352
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,400
As a matter of fact,
I'm feeling
a little lightheaded.
353
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,840
Would you be more comfortable
sitting down?
354
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,300
Yes, I would. Thank you.
355
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,770
No, wait!
Hold on one second.
356
00:17:36,770 --> 00:17:37,740
You're not buying this,
are you? Wait a second.
357
00:17:37,740 --> 00:17:39,210
If it please the court
Joe...
358
00:17:39,210 --> 00:17:41,110
...may I present exhibit A?
Ow!
359
00:17:41,110 --> 00:17:42,140
Mr. Hackett!
360
00:17:42,140 --> 00:17:43,650
And exhibit B.
361
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:44,650
(EXCLAIMING)
362
00:17:44,650 --> 00:17:46,550
That will be enough!
363
00:17:46,550 --> 00:17:48,050
(SCREAMING)
Come on!
Get up! Get up!
364
00:17:48,050 --> 00:17:50,450
Let's go, stand up.
365
00:17:50,450 --> 00:17:52,920
I rest my case.
366
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,020
Hey, Joe, Joe!
What are you doing here?
367
00:17:55,020 --> 00:17:57,030
Well, uh, Helen said she's
gonna be a little late.
368
00:17:57,030 --> 00:17:58,490
She called
from the emergency room.
369
00:17:58,490 --> 00:18:00,000
Apparently, she fell down
her front steps.
370
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,000
Banged herself up
pretty bad.
371
00:18:04,970 --> 00:18:06,870
Oh, God.
Helen, I am so sorry.
I had no idea...
372
00:18:06,870 --> 00:18:08,770
Don't touch me!
373
00:18:09,770 --> 00:18:11,810
Oh, good, Helen,
you got here.
374
00:18:11,810 --> 00:18:14,640
Hey, stand up, honey.
Judge can't see you.
375
00:18:22,380 --> 00:18:25,490
Well, what do you think,
Fay?
376
00:18:25,490 --> 00:18:29,220
It's phenomenal, Lowell.
It looks just like it was.
377
00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:30,560
Oh, it is.
378
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:33,060
I found
a really old photograph
of the office,
379
00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:34,560
and I matched everything
exactly,
380
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,400
right down
to the last detail.
381
00:18:36,630 --> 00:18:38,500
That must have been
very difficult.
382
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:41,840
Hardest part was
finding a calendar from 1952.
383
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,040
Hey, guys.
384
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,510
Joe, how'd it go
in court?
385
00:18:47,510 --> 00:18:49,440
Well, I, uh,
386
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:50,450
you know,
387
00:18:50,450 --> 00:18:51,450
won.
388
00:18:51,450 --> 00:18:53,420
BRIAN:
Oh, don't be so modest.
389
00:18:53,420 --> 00:18:55,420
With the exception of that
contempt of court glitch,
390
00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:57,420
I'd say you had quite a day
before the bar, big guy.
391
00:18:57,420 --> 00:19:00,920
Well, how was I supposed
to know that Helen fell down
those stairs?
392
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:04,430
Those crutches
should have been
your first clue.
393
00:19:04,430 --> 00:19:07,430
Rule of thumb, Joe,
never beat up a cripple.
394
00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:09,870
You beat up Helen?
395
00:19:09,870 --> 00:19:11,900
No, I just
396
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:14,900
pushed her down
and poked her
with her crutch a little.
397
00:19:15,340 --> 00:19:18,340
Gee, Joe, I'm surprised
you didn't have me
do it for you.
398
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,750
So, Joe, what do you think
of the office?
399
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:27,750
Oh, hey!
Hey, nice job, Lowell.
400
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:30,750
This is really first-rate
craftsmanship.
401
00:19:30,750 --> 00:19:32,750
I am impressed.
402
00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:35,760
You know, I've been thinking
about putting a sort of deck
on the back of the house.
403
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:37,230
What do you think
something like that
would cost?
404
00:19:37,230 --> 00:19:40,460
$50,000.
405
00:19:40,460 --> 00:19:42,970
Why don't we just
forget it, Lowell?
We'll talk about it later.
406
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,970
Lowell, is my jeep ready yet?
407
00:19:44,970 --> 00:19:47,000
Yeah, it's right out here
in the hangar, Helen.
408
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:47,970
Thank you.
409
00:19:47,970 --> 00:19:49,470
Um, how much do I owe you?
410
00:19:49,470 --> 00:19:51,470
$50,000...
Lowell.
411
00:19:52,470 --> 00:19:55,480
Hey, someday somebody's
gonna go for it.
412
00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:05,650
Here's a check for $100.
413
00:20:06,150 --> 00:20:08,660
If it's all right with you,
I'd like to pay you
once a month
414
00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:10,160
for the next 10 months.
415
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:12,660
Look, Helen,
I--I--I feel
really terrible
416
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:14,060
about what happened
in court today.
417
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:15,430
Why don't we just forget this?
418
00:20:15,430 --> 00:20:16,930
Oh, no, you don't!
419
00:20:16,930 --> 00:20:18,930
On top of it all,
you don't get to be noble,
Joe.
420
00:20:19,430 --> 00:20:20,440
Just take it.
421
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,270
I just want this thing
to be over with.
422
00:20:24,110 --> 00:20:27,140
Well, all right,
if it'll make you happy.
423
00:20:27,140 --> 00:20:28,110
It will.
424
00:20:30,010 --> 00:20:31,510
Good. That's done.
425
00:20:32,010 --> 00:20:33,520
(SIGHS)
426
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,450
I don't want to ever,
ever hear anything else
about it.
427
00:20:36,450 --> 00:20:37,920
And you won't.
428
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:39,420
Not from me, anyway.
429
00:20:41,890 --> 00:20:44,260
But, you know
what's interesting?
430
00:20:44,260 --> 00:20:47,900
I think we both learned
a very important lesson today.
431
00:20:47,900 --> 00:20:51,500
You learned that we can't
be ruled by our emotions,
432
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,540
that no good ever comes
from violence.
433
00:20:53,540 --> 00:20:57,010
And that each of us
has to be held responsible
434
00:20:57,010 --> 00:20:58,010
for our actions.
435
00:20:58,510 --> 00:21:01,010
And I learned that
436
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:03,010
we have a damned fine
legal system.
437
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,510
Oh, come on, I'm kidding.
438
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:07,980
Where's your sense of humor?
439
00:21:07,980 --> 00:21:09,990
You used to have one,
you know.
440
00:21:09,990 --> 00:21:13,490
Hey, I guarantee that
someday we'll look back
on this and laugh.
441
00:21:13,490 --> 00:21:14,320
(JOE LAUGHS)
442
00:21:14,820 --> 00:21:16,090
(TIRES SCREECHING)
443
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:27,070
(HELEN LAUGHING)
444
00:21:27,070 --> 00:21:30,070
Look there!
I'm laughin' already.
445
00:21:30,070 --> 00:21:31,570
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
446
00:21:42,350 --> 00:21:45,350
Joe, I'm writing down
a figure.
32313
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