Original subtitles

♪..my body with the back of your hand

♪ Doesn't make sense from where I stand

♪ Baby, baby

♪ Oh, why you want to mess it up?

♪ Sooner or later, I'll find my place

♪ Find my body, better fix my face... ♪

Nigel?

Nigel Turner?

Kirsty Ann McPhee. Good Lord!

How are you? I'm good.

Yeah, I'm really good. God.

God, it's been such a long time.

So, how's your mum?

She passed away last April.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Come on. I can't wait forever. It was very peaceful.

And all the family was with her, so...

She was a lovely lady. She was.

She always liked you.

And, uh...

You're married or...?

Yeah. Mick.

Mick! Hey, Mick.

Mick! This is Nigel.

Nigel, Mick. Nigel and I went to school together.

And we grew up a block away from each other.

Nigel.

Oh!

Ohh!

Well, maybe we could catch up sometime or...

Oh, no, I don't think that's a good idea.

No, I understand.

Thirsty work, isn't it?

Yeah.

Hey, I ran into Clive Witherspoon the other day.

He's done well for himself, that guy.

Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah. I heard.

Um, a chain of electrical stores or...

Um, hey, I would really like to catch up.

You can get hold of me on this number.

Um, I should get back to it, I suppose.

Kirsty.

I'm not married.

They only laid this concrete down a few weeks ago to extend the car park.

Just what the world needs - bigger car parks.

The water mains hadn't blown up, we never would have found the body.

Pretty recent? Yeah.

My guess is on or around July 10 sometime after 9:21pm.

All this without the aid of microscopes.

Well, some idiot left a shopping receipt in one of the bags.

This used to be orchards. Fancy.

They pull down beautiful orchards to make a supermarket

that sells oranges they fly in from Spain.

We got a full body yet?

Still chasing the left leg.

My guess is when they put him together, we'll have

a balding 40s white Caucasian male, slightly overweight.

I think we've got your full set now. All non-recyclable.

Go and ask them for their security tapes from July 10.

Ask 'em if they saw anything suspicious.

They won't know.

They never know anything in supermarkets.

Get me a Spanish orange while you're at it, double bagged.

Jesus Christ.

No, you are not bloody interested in my call,

or somebody would frigging answer.

How much do you want to say this book cost?

Is it a law book? If you want it to be.

Uh, 120 bucks. And give it a boring title.

'L'Estrange on Constitutional Law'. And smudge the name of the shop.

If only you could claim your gambling debts as deductions.

Will you go to prison, Dad?

Oh, I think the Tax Department will probably count

my eight years with her as time served.

Come on, fill in some receipts, please.

You alright, Fuzz?

Um, yeah, I'm fine, thanks.

This is the, uh, forensic accountant's report.

Somehow, she's managed to get hold of all my Visa, Amex,

every bloody card statement for the past eight years.

Come on, you cocks.

Can you just please... mind your...

Thank you very much.

Can you just fill in a receipt for the purchase of a new wig, please?

Thank you very much.

Well. Nice of you to take the trouble. Is he ready? I'm double-parked.

Fuzz, get a move on.

How is he? Is he OK? Yeah, he's alright.

Still a bit heartbroken.

Um, can I float an idea past you? No.

'Cause they're about to bring down a finding in my tax case,

and I'm pretty sure they're gonna find against me.

How sure? In the range of 100% and upwards.

My best guess is I probably owe about

786,500... Fuzz, we're leaving.

All I'm saying is... Fuzz, hurry up!

The house is in my name too. You cannot be serious.

A second mortgage. You wouldn't have to worry about anything.

I'd cover all the payments. If anything, you're gonna be better off.

It is my house! Fuck you.

The only reason your name appears anywhere on the title

is because you said it would cause you a tax problem if taken off.

Now, look, I've spoken to the bank. They seem quite positive.

You spoke to the bank? You spoke to the bank without talking to...

Get me a gun!

You will not touch my house.

Alright? You will not come anywhere near my house.

And you will not come anywhere near me.

Just calm down, alright? It's just chaos at the moment.

Yes. You are the chaos.

You're not the end result of some butterfly effect.

You ARE the butterfly...

You are the original fucking polka-dotted butterfly

that causes every bit of chaos on this planet.

Fuzz! Get in.

I am humbled and thrilled that the people of Huntley

have chosen me to represent them.

Naturally, like all of you here,

I am only sorry our government was not returned...

Yes.

Rest assured, I am eagerly looking forward to the challenges ahead,

and I promise you, from the opposition benches,

I will be taking it right up to this new government.

Watch this space. Exciting times ahead.

I'm ruined.

I've destroyed my life.

I've given up 70% of my income,

and for what?

Joe's dead.

Premier's gone.

I've got no supporters inside the party.

I'm gonna be a backbencher in state parliament till I die.

Labor might get back in. Oh, it was a landslide.

They'll get three terms at least.

No, I was better off at the bar.

The only thing I've got left to hold onto is you.

I do have you, don't I?

My name is Jane.

Jane Tanner.

Both my parents are still alive,

though you may not pick it looking at them.

They haven't worked in 20 years.

They...live off three pensions and sit in a caravan in Taree

and drink beer and watch TV all day.

When I was 17, I pissed off,

and a few years later, I became a prostitute

because, gosh, it paid well.

I let that career option lapse a little while ago

so I could start to feel better about myself.

I'm so sorry, David.

I think I'd like you to go now...

..Jane.

So you say you've never met Nigel Turner?

Name doesn't ring any bells.

I knew a Turner in Kyabram.

Florist, divorced, lives in Dulwich Hill.

No, I buy all me flowers in the city.

Syd Turner.

That was the bloke from Kyabram.

He was a diesel mechanic.

Sorry I'm late.

I got...

You know you're not obliged to answer, Mick.

Yeah, it's alright. Just having a friendly chat with Bill.

You know Barney, Bill? Bill, Barney. Barney, Bill.

Nigel Turner's mutilated body was dug up near Water Street Park.

Out near Botany. Yeah, I know.

We laid some concrete out there a month or so back.

Yes, over his body.

He was last seen alive at 7:30pm on July 10,

and your company was pouring concrete at 1:30am the same night.

Oh, we don't like to inconvenience supermarket customers.

You know that area used to be orchards?

You said he was divorced?

Might be worth checking with his wife.

They're often at the back of these things, you know.

We've found traces of your DNA on his body.

And we're arresting you on a charge of murder.

Mind if I have a private word with Barney, please, Bill?

Get me Cleaver, and get me out of this fucking shit hole.

If they've got your DNA, it's not gonna be that easy.

He was a fucking florist from Dulwich fucking Hill.

How the fuck would I know him?

I need you to brief Cleaver for me straightaway. You got it?

I think we should go with a silk this time. Cleaver is...

I know exactly what fucking Cleaver is.

Right?

And he's who I want.

There are many more eminent barristers...

I don't want fucking eminent! I want someone I can trust.

Someone I know who fucking owes me. You got it, Barney?

I'm sorry, Mick, but I don't work with him anymore.

It's a matter of principle for me.

How much business did I steer your way last year? 200? 300K?

That's a lot to lose for a principle, Barney.

I'm sorry, Mick.

So literally everything I know about you is made-up?

Pretty much.

You would have never looked twice at me if you'd have known the truth.

You got that right, Jane Tanner.

How many clients did you service?

Oh, please, let's not go there.

It's just a question.

Roughly how many times a week were you fucked by total strangers?

I'm really sorry that I hurt you.

Goodbye, David.

What the hell did you think would happen?

That it might remain a secret, that we might be happy?

But then you had to go and save your neighbour's life,

and then Joe approached you and you got elected to parliament

and we all ended up here in Lake Shit.

Joe Sandilands?

You were working at the brothel where he got sprung?

That's why you were so upset when he topped himself.

You were with him, weren't you?

In the past. I didn't know you then.

Oh, my God! Cleaver Greene. That's how you know him, isn't it?

There was never any cousin Angus.

Oh, not him.

You mean the whole time we were together, my whole campaign,

he was laughing his bloody head off?

No.

Oh, well, you will forgive me if I don't believe you.

It ends today.

Haven't you got a traffic island to open somewhere?

I wouldn't miss it for the world, I guarantee it.

Looking at the financial year 2005-2006,

Mr Greene represented 58 clients in court.

So I estimated the number of billing hours he would have taken

to prepare each case.

Hang on.

Your Honour, how could she possibly estimate that

without knowing the subject matter?

If that was an objection, it was overruled.

I read the transcripts of each case, taking note

of the substance of each charge,

number of witnesses called, complexity of issues.

What could a bean counter know about complexity of issues?

I have found you in contempt once before.

Do you want to play for another three days in remand?

Hm?

Then I spoke to 15 barristers

of Mr Greene's experience and rank...

15!

..asked them for their estimates, then took a mean figure.

Very mean.

In my estimation, Mr Greene would have made no less than $238,000

for that year.

Were there any legitimate deductibles during that year?

Well, judging by Mr Greene's credit card statements,

most of his money went on entertainment-related products

and two gambling accounts.

He doesn't rent an office.

He occupies the chambers of people on holiday.

Oh, yeah. A floater.

He paid $5,200 for a law conference in Bermagui.

What? Never been to Bermagui.

I think that is her point.

He made several trips there, but no record of any law conference.

I don't even know where Bermagui is.

Having reached the end of this very long road,

this case has given me no joy,

but I eagerly await any submission in mitigation,

because at this moment, I think, Mr Greene,

you have avoided paying a staggering amount of tax.

At worst, and I think this is where we are...

..you have...

Great loss to our profession.

I had the very real sense he was about to find in my favour.

I don't know how, but you caused this.

Oh, I do.

I'm the original butterfly.

You are a codling moth, and I will crush you.

You'll have your work cut out from the opposition backbenches

in state parliament, mate.

Bermagui, two weeks.

$3,120. When?

$3,487?

Bermagui Electrical. $3,487. Never even been there.

Suppose I should thank you for coming.

You don't have to.

Look, I get you're angry with me...

We sent napalm to destroy the North Vietnamese.

What did they send in return? Forensic accountants.

The horror. The horror.

What do you want?

The healing to begin.

I can't stay mad at you. I'm a weak man.

I can forgive almost anything... Cleave...

No, no, no, listen.

I can forgive the disappearing act, the reappearing act,

the whole hot/cold English plumbing thing - I get that.

What I don't get is why you thought you had to lie to me.

Cleave...

No, no, no, shut up for a minute. I gotta...I gotta say this.

Oh, great. I love a unilateral rant.

We all need to come from somewhere.

My Uncle Kel's New Year's Eve party trick

was hanging his false teeth off his cock,

pretending that Auntie Rena had bitten him.

I didn't want to come from where I came from.

I wanted to try a different life.

You can't try a life. You got to lead an authentic one.

Oh, you think your life is authentic?

Yeah, damn tootin', I do.

Anarchic, catastrophic, without rhyme or reason,

the butterfly, the behemoth, but fuck me, it's real.

An ability to list your flaws doesn't make it authentic.

What we had was real, whether you grew up in Peru or Taree.

I know that.

And then you end up with Harry-sorry-David,

a man whose only aspiration's to have a fucking fountain named after him.

That's not true.

You should have given me a chance.

I gave you every chance. No, no.

Really.

I would have loved you

with all the feebleness of my heart.

I still do.

For all my fucking chaos.

We could have been very happy.

David and I have split.

Wow.

I told him the truth.

He got both barrels, the whole bloody grim catastrophe.

And?

And he ran a mile.

Unlike you.

So...

Wow.

Are you OK?

Yeah. You look a little clammy.

No, I'm good. I'm good.

The first glimmer.

What?

The first hint of something barely approaching commitment

and you're terrified.

Bullshit.

Joe Sandilands said to me about his marriage

that somewhere between passionate sex against a wall and bin night,

everything seemed to get lost.

Call me when you can get past bin night, Captain Authentic.

I can do bin night! Thursday. Right?

Why?

Around $90,000 systematically stolen from me, under my nose,

over eight years

by someone I thought I could trust.

Would have thought more. Why?

Really?

Yeah. Don't be a smug shit. I took you out of secretarial college.

I gave you a job. I took care of you. You had all the time off you wanted.

I gave you a salary raise every year. Surely this warrants some respect.

You would have wasted it anyway. I put 30% of it into my super.

You don't even have that. And the rest I put towards building a house.

That will employ people and provide for families.

You can't justify it like that. This is grand theft.

You would have lost it on the third at Dapto.

Because you don't care about anything, especially about yourself.

You're...you're not connected to anyone.

You can't even remember my fiancé's name.

How did you manage to conceal this?

Ooh, 12 numbered accounts in the Bahamas.

What do you think, Cleave? You never check anything.

Like I said, you don't... you don't care.

Why Bermagui?

That's where we're building a house.

Oh, so Brian's in on this too, is he?

Bevan.

Bevan. Bevan.

Bevan is in on this too.

This is now a police matter, you realise?

Oh, yeah, right.

"Help me, Officer.

"The money I cheated from the Tax Office was stolen from me."

We haven't finished here!

Your client will be expected to compensate my client

any money she has invested in the house

plus interest accrued had that money been in a bank.

Cleaver fucking Greene!

When the hell has any bank ever paid this much interest?

Charged, yes, but not paid.

Fine.

She can have the house.

Let her pay me that number.

Scarlet? I mean it. It's hers.

She earns just as much as me. No.

No, I don't.

Really?

What, you aren't a member of the New South Wales Bar anymore?

No.

As of, uh, 9:20 this morning, I've been suspended.

Pardon? Mmm.

Yeah, the Bar Association are pretty cross with me.

They say I've broken the rule against cross-examining a friend.

Oh, that fucking assault case!

I've tried explaining to them that... that Cleaver Greene

is not a friend of mine or anyone's,

but they're so adamant that I've abused my privilege to cross-examine.

So how long until you can practise again?

Well, less the time from 9:20 this morning, a year.

A year.

Nine...nine years at the bar.

I make one mistake, and this,

and Cleaver Greene, with all the shit that he's caused,

he...he still gets to practise.

Yes, this does change things potentially, considerably.

If my client no longer has a steady income,

this poses all sorts of questions about maintenance and provision.

Yeah, she, uh, makes a valid point, mate.

You might have to sell your house, given your current level of debt.

Yes, I know.

You're deep in the sticky stuff here, Mick.

You're gonna have to give us something to work with.

Well, how about the fact that you owe me

close to 80K in gambling debts?

Get me off this shitbox charge and watch those debts magically vanish.

And I'll throw in a $25,000 line of credit.

None of this is gonna get you past the DNA evidence.

Cleaver will.

He's a smart fucking boy. Cleaver won't, mate.

They found more of your hair on the victim's body

than Lassie shed in a lifetime.

I was working out there. Me hair's probably all over the place.

Where were you the night that your company was laying the concrete?

I was hosting a lifestyle party at my place.

Swinging, OK?

Swingers?

You and Kirsty?

Well, we prefer the expression 'lifestylers', but yeah.

My wife and I like to explore our sexual boundaries

in a safe environment amongst like-minded people.

OK.

And then this prick turns up.

Nigel Turner? Yeah.

We met him at another party a few months before.

And he started stalking us.

He wouldn't take no for an answer.

We weren't interested.

Turns out his missus had left him.

And I don't do three-ways with another bloke,

unless his missus is filming.

Yeah, well, you've got to know your moral limits, don't you?

Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway, he shows up pissed and dangerous at our place.

And I say, "Sorry, mate." And I chuck him out.

And he comes back later, after everyone else has gone,

and pulls a knife on me and Kirsty.

And the turd keeps coming.

We crash to the floor and he falls on his own fucking knife.

Can you believe it?

Straight through the fucking heart. Bang, he's dead.

He killed himself.

And did he then chop himself up into little pieces

and stuff himself into supermarket bags?

I was scared, and I panicked.

And I didn't want to drag Kirsty through the embarrassment.

Well, it's gonna be hard to avoid that now, mate.

Is she prepared to testify it was self-defence?

Course she will.

She knows what happened.

Thanks, mate.

We could use this swinging thing.

Distract the jury, get 'em to focus on salacious sex.

Keep well clear of the facts.

You know, we need his wife up there. You know he's lying?

Not for certain, I don't.

Shout you a sandwich?

Scarlet and I are getting divorced. The house is on the market.

And thanks to you, she hasn't got a job.

Well... It wasn't all my fault, you know.

Don't take this the wrong way. I'm doing it purely for the money.

I know the world has no meaning if you two split.

Let me deal directly with Nicole. Make it easier for both of us.

Can't. I sacked her. Yeah, right.

I mean it. She's been stealing from me.

From day one, as it turns out.

Then there really is nothing to hang onto, is there?

'Daily Telegraph'! Come in, if you must.

Don't know why you bother.

I've already told the police everything.

He came back after the party, he was furious and out of control,

they fought, he died, I pissed off.

Kirsty, you're the only credible witness who can back Mick up.

It's gonna be difficult for you on the stand.

Yeah, well, like I haven't been there before.

And are you sure that your statement covered everything?

How many people do you think are looking at that and thinking,

"Ooh, I'd love to have sex with that"?

Quite a few, I'm sure.

Mick bought that for me,

told me it covered my flab.

Could you tell me how the scene works?

The scene?

The swinger scene.

A bit of a voyeur, are you, Mr Meagher?

Maybe you'd like to take part.

No, that's not why I'm here. Done worse than you.

I just want to understand.

It's just sex.

There's heaps of different ways.

There's full-swing orgy.

There's full-swing partner swap.

There's soft swing. There's soft swap.

Well, what's the difference between soft swing and soft swap?

Sex with your own partner in front of another couple.

Soft swap is oral permissible.

Oral permissible?

It's just sex, Mr Meagher.

I don't see how that can work.

When you've invested everything you have into your marriage

and the two of you have made this commitment -

you know, you and her, and your kids, against the world -

doesn't having sex with someone else destroy that?

Well, there's one rule that you can't break.

What's that?

Never get involved.

You can't do that.

So are you confident that you can testify?

Mick was trying to protect me.

They got into a fight.

Nigel fell on his knife and he died.

And I pissed off.

Nigel? Yeah.

You called him by his first name.

Yeah, well, that is his name, isn't it?

Did Mr Corella explain why he cut the body up

if he was just going to bury it beneath a concrete slab anyway?

No.

And in your experience, does this seem consistent

with an act of spontaneous self-defence,

to accidentally kill somebody

and then take to their corpse with a chainsaw?

It is more the sort of behaviour you would associate with premeditation.

Objection.

Yes, sustained.

Please stick to the facts, both of you.

I worked with Nigel for 15 years.

He was a gentle, loving man, a great dad to Ella,

a fantastic contributor to the Lions Club

and our Bowl for Asia appeal.

Tell me, in addition to being a loyal member of the Lions Club,

did you know that your boss was also a hardcore swinger?

No.

I think he was just so lonely after his divorce.

He was looking for love in the wrong places.

Doesn't make him someone who deserved to be killed.

No, but it does make him a very different man

to the man that you claim to have known.

Nothing further, Your Honour.

I need to know about your relationship with Greene.

Leave it, David, please.

All those times you disappeared. No, it wasn't like that.

Then tell me how it was!

We played a lot of backgammon, and we laughed,

and all of it was before I knew you.

You know, when I turned 15,

I decided I wanted to make a difference.

I decided that one day I would achieve high office

so that I could make a difference.

Since then, I've tried to live a good life,

to have no blots on my record.

Blots? You have made me look like a fool.

Nobody needs to know, do they?

I really hope it turns around for you, David.

You deserve it.

You here to take another swing at me, Harry?

Harry?

It was wrong.

Completely out of character. I'm not thinking clearly.

She takes it out of you, doesn't she?

I'm in hell.

I know it doesn't mean anything to people like you, but I loved her.

Love her.

Now I don't have a fucking clue who she is.

Has it occurred to you that maybe she hasn't got a clue either?

I mean, she's spent her whole life being all things to all people,

you and me included.

Maybe we just like the look of ourselves in the mirror.

I will take you down, Cleaver.

Well, I very much look forward to that, Harry.

Almost there.

A truck will come for the rest of it on Friday.

Bye-bye.

Love you guys.

Hm?

How's the flat?

Oh, you know that tent we stayed in, in Hyams?

Smaller.

Uh, we were just about to have some dinner.

Uh, would you like to join us?

Uh, no, thanks. I'm catching up with some friends.

Oh.

Spoken to Kirsty yet? Mmm. Poor woman.

She's sitting on something. She knew Nigel Turner.

Right, so the prosecution would chew her up.

In a minute.

Is it such a bad thing?

He murdered a man. He hacked him up into bite-size pieces.

And the bloke he murdered had a kid.

He was from all accounts a lovely guy.

Yeah. Unfortunately, we're being paid to get Mick off.

We are being paid to defend him, not become him.

You're not seriously suggesting I call a defence witness

who might incriminate my own client?

Goes against every principle...

Well, now, there's a principle to live by.

Never call a witness who might actually tell the truth.

Uh, yeah, well, my wife and I

like to exchange, um, partners with close friends

as a means of, uh, exploring our sexual boundaries.

Right, and you were exploring these boundaries

on the night you met Nigel Turner?

Yes.

My partner and I were new to the scene,

being more into amo...

..ama...

..maxia.

Amo...?

In cars.

This was our first night in an open situation,

when this maniac burst through the doors and started coming onto me.

Well, he was only human. Well, I...

I tell him I'm strictly hetero,

but, um,

he wouldn't take no for an answer.

Right.

And so you would describe Nigel Turner's behaviour as very dangerous?

My wife and I felt very vulnerable.

I, personally, was frightened for my life.

All yours.

Aren't you known around the traps as Mick Corella's enforcer?

Objection, Your Honour. The witness is not on trial here.

Your Honour, it goes to credit. Tightrope, Mr Gardener.

I'll allow it. I don't work for him anymore.

You were the state Muay Thai boxing champion, I understand.

Never beaten. Yeah.

Six title defences.

And yet we are to believe you were terrified of this man.

Yeah, well, sometimes it's the little blokes.

You knocked those off from the foyer at chambers.

Well, you did steal $90,000 from me.

I'm not gonna splash out on you, am I?

Fair enough.

So who told you I was here?

Bevan called me. Oh, you got his name right.

Mmm. Something about you being attacked by a demon.

It was a gargoyle.

What sort of gargoyle? Oh, I didn't have time to look.

Well, you can have your job back if you like.

Oh, I don't want it. Yes, you do.

Who else are you going to work for?

Shiny-suited conveyancing solicitor in Newtown?

Your marriage is gonna be boring enough.

Alright, I'll give you a 10% raise. No.

Jesus.

Oh, I'd still charge stuff to you when you're not looking.

You can't say that! There's a principle at stake here.

Oh, you said once you put principles and the Easter bunny

in the same category.

Alright, you can keep pilfering from me, but cap it at 5%.

10% and we'll talk.

Missy.

It's bin night.

What?

You've got...stuff.

Yeah, I just grabbed what I could. I've got a van coming on Monday.

Right. A van.

Yeah, you did say bin night, didn't you?

I did, indeed.

Indeedy I did.

And by 'bin night', I meant that we could talk...

I know, but I just thought...

We should just move in together and sort through all our shit as we go.

Right. Very good.

OK, so there's no van coming on Monday.

No. Very good.

Oh, I just wanted to see your face.

I'm leaving. I've deferred uni and I've booked a flight.

What?

Where are you going?

I thought I'd trace the steps of my dead non-parents.

Rome, Florence, Spain.

Greece. Lima. You can't leave me now.

I'm poised to commit.

It's too late. It's not.

Don't say that.

When are you going? Tonight.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Missy. A journey in search of the real me.

Waste of time.

I promise you, every time I've tried to find myself,

I've realised it wasn't worth the trip.

We're this close.

We've always been this close. No.

You're always poised, Cleave. Listen to me.

I've been in love with you long enough to know that it's not gonna happen.

I could come and find you in a couple of months.

I might be a completely different person by then.

I'd still love ya.

Who the fuck am I gonna play backgammon with?

Have you thought rationally about that?

Huh?

Come on, let's get a coffee and... Can't. Have a million things to do.

No, no, just one lousy coffee. Come on.

Dario? Piccolo, Cleaver?

Yeah, and a skinny flat white, thanks, mate.

And maybe a cake of some s...

Have you got any aces up your sleeve?

'Cause all your swinger mates are really not cutting it with this jury.

Oh, I never trouble meself too much about juries, Cleave.

All rise.

Mr Greene.

Mr Greene, your next witness?

Your Honour, I'd like to call, um, Kirsty Corella, please.

And he attacked us with a knife and Mick pleaded for him to stop,

but he wouldn't.

You must have been in terrible fear for your life.

So you were absolutely convinced that Nigel Turner was out of control?

Yeah. Yes.

So let's set the picture for the jury, then.

This madman bursts into your home,

and he's trying to kill the man you love.

What happened next?

Um...

They...they...they fought, and he fell on his blade.

I'm sorry, Mrs Corella, I can see how difficult this is for you,

seeing the man you...

..love and adore

now charged with murder

for simply trying to protect you from

this venomous monster.

This gentle, loving man,

who married you for better or worse,

who shared your most intimate moments but still allowed you the freedom

to explore your sexuality with loads of other men

whilst remaining emotionally committed.

He f... He fell on his knife.

Yes, surely a fitting conclusion

for this depraved degenerate.

Nigel never did anything to you.

He was kind and he was warm.

Uh, no further questions. Thank you, Your Honour.

He brought me flowers.

And he held my hand.

And he told me how pretty I was.

And it didn't matter to him that my legs were a bit fat,

and he loved me for who I am.

Thank you, Your Honour. That will be all.

And he didn't make me strap on a giant rubber dildo

and do unnatural things, and you killed him, you monster!

She was seeing him behind me back.

So I had 'em tailed.

They went for walks

and held hands.

He took her to the bookshop at the fucking museum.

My wife.

You did let her have sex with other men.

Yeah, but not going to fucking bookshops.

He was being intimate with my wife.

And the prick had to fucking die.

Hello, monkeys.

We're not monkeys!

The Chinese drawers were mine.

No, they were given to us by my mother.

Oh, oh! So that's how you want to play this?

OK. OK, well, why don't we go through everything again, hm?

What's in that box? Look, I don't know what's in there.

Oh, well, it's got your name on it. You packed it.

Oh, look.

Why don't we have a little look-see, hey? Have a look.

Help yourself. Let's see what else we can have.

And have a look in this one! There we go!

You're just being stupid now. I've smashed the ersatz Deco clock!

What a shame! You know what? Take it all. Have...have it all.

It's shit! It's just fucking shit!

Have every last... Yours! It's shit!

Take your fucking sh... Have it!

Hi.

Hi. Um...

Are you sure you want this?

Um...

Do you have the faintest clue how much I love you?

It's a classic anxiety attack. He's been in there for over a day now.

Used to get 'em when I was a kid. Good.

Then you can tell him how you got out of it.

I will. Booze and drugs.

If you're gonna live in here permanently, mate,

I can organise some plumbing.

I'll come out soon.

I'm shit at everything, Dad.

I'm shit at school. I'm shit at sport.

I'm shit at making friends.

And I know you and Mum want me to be special, but I'm not.

I'm just ordinary.

Ordinary people don't spend two days in cupboards, mate.

Fiona was the only person that made me feel

like things were gonna be OK in the future.

I love her, Dad.

Oh, you gotta love 'em, son.

No point if you don't.

Well, you didn't love Mum.

I loved her most of all.

But you don't give me any hope that things can get better.

Everyone's always out of control in your life.

And if you can't manage to be happy with everything that you've got,

how's anyone with nothing going to make it?

Chaos eventually finds its own level, and more often than not,

it's in a better place than it was when it started,

and it'll be the same for you too, Fuzz.

I guarantee it, my friend, because...

You're wrong.

You are about the most special person I know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, Cleave. Hope I'm not disturbing you.

Look, I've, um, been sent round to give you a bit of a hiding.

What are you talking about? Mick's gone away for 25 years.

No, no, it's for Kirsty. She's taken over the reins now.

Very easy to work for, I might add. Oh, good.

Look, she reckons that even with all the legals for Mick,

you're still about 38K in the hole.

You are fucking kidding me. It's a matter of principle, Cleave.

Yeah, isn't it always? What, is now a good time?

Well, no, not really, mate.

But...

Look, if you're gonna do it, do it over the lino.

At least it'll be easy to mop up. Righto.

Thought you and I should celebrate losing our biggest client.

But perhaps you should go to hospital.

No, it's just a... light dusting, mate.

Fancy a game of backgammon?

You know I'm strictly a chess man.

Well...

We've all got... Ow!

Oh, shit.

We've all got to adapt, mate. You know?

You and I are entering a new era of enlightenment.

Oh. See, Missy would never have done that.

Oh, please! I can't see the board, dripping blood all over it.

Oh, well, I apologise for my subdural haematoma

inconveniencing you, mate.

So I should hope. Do you need a cloth?

Well... No, no, I'm fine, thanks, mate, yeah.

I'll get it, then, shall I? All good here.

No, no, I'll go get you a cloth. Oh, thanks very much.

Very kind.

♪ Sometimes I feel a little sad... ♪

♪ But don't you know that no-one alive

♪ Can always be an angel?

♪ When things go wrong, I seem to be bad

♪ I'm just a soul whose intentions are good

♪ Oh, Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

♪ I'm just a soul whose intentions are good

♪ Oh, Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood. ♪