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1
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:15,914
[police chatter]
2
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,183
HOW YOU DOIN' TODAY, MA'AM?
3
00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:19,985
I'M GONNA NEED TO HAVE YOU
4
00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:22,521
STEP OUT THE CAR
FOR ME FOR A SECOND...
5
00:00:22,622 --> 00:00:24,355
OH!
6
00:00:24,457 --> 00:00:26,125
OH-HO-HO-HO!
7
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:27,625
OH!
8
00:00:27,727 --> 00:00:29,372
Captioning made possible
by COMEDY CENTRAL
9
00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:32,797
[sirens blaring]
10
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:36,067
OH HO, OH, HO-HO!
11
00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:38,370
[police radio chatter]
12
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:43,641
AGGGHHHH!
13
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:45,644
HERE YOU GO... LAL-LA, YEAH...
14
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:47,111
[screaming]
15
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:50,348
[man on radio]
2-3, Roger, Roger!
16
00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:52,051
Shots fired!
17
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:54,186
OH-HO-HO!
18
00:00:54,287 --> 00:00:56,688
[police radio chatter]
19
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:06,164
[sirens blaring]
20
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:09,968
[Dangle] AND, AS
MANY OF YOU KNOW,
21
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,838
DEPUTY JONES HAS BEEN
SUSPENDED BY THE BOARD...
22
00:01:12,939 --> 00:01:14,406
[woman] WHAT?
23
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:17,442
FOR ASSAULTING DEPUTY GARCIA.
24
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:19,478
I DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT THAT.
25
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:20,820
YES, JONES HAS BEEN SUSPENDED.
26
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:22,914
HE HAS BEEN SENT
DOWN TO THE GULAG.
27
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:24,282
PEOPLE, IF YOU HAVE A MINUTE,
28
00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:26,095
I'D STOP BY AND VISIT
HIM DOWN IN THE GULAG,
29
00:01:26,119 --> 00:01:29,687
BECAUSE, HONESTLY, THAT
IS NO PICNIC DOWN THERE.
30
00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:31,589
MOST OF THEM DON'T
LAST FIVE MINUTES.
31
00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:33,170
NO, THOSE PEOPLE ARE
ANIMALS DOWN THERE.
32
00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:35,059
I, FOR ONE, HOPE HE
DOESN'T JUST QUIT.
33
00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:37,262
[Junior] WELL, TELL
'EM WHY HE HIT YOU,
34
00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:39,664
GARCIA, BEFORE YOU
GET THE KISS ON THE FACE.
35
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,000
WHY ARE YOU MAKING
ME, YOU KNOW...
36
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,313
SAY WHAT YOU DID,
SAY WHAT YOU DID,
37
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:44,537
JONES HIT YOU FOR NO REASON?
38
00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:46,404
WE WERE LOOKING AT A MAGAZINE.
39
00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:48,773
IT WAS ONE OF THEM
BLACK/COLORED MAGAZINES,
40
00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,408
AND I SAID SOMETHING
ABOUT HALLE BERRY
41
00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:52,310
BEING HALF POLACK
AND HALF BLACK,
42
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:54,846
AND A STUPID JOKE
ABOUT A V.C.R...
43
00:01:54,949 --> 00:01:56,281
SHE STEALS THEM,
44
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:57,627
AND SHE CAN'T PROGRAM
THEM OR SOMETHING.
45
00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,350
I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST... BOOM!
46
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,453
[Junior] HALLE
BERRY'S HALF POLACK?
47
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:02,920
SHE'S HALF POLACK.
48
00:02:03,022 --> 00:02:06,724
THERE HAS GOT TO BE A BETTER
HALF BLACK/HALF POLACK JOKE.
49
00:02:06,826 --> 00:02:08,693
[Williams] HOW COME HE
DIDN'T GET SUSPENDED,
50
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,162
AND MY JONESY GOT SUSPENDED?
51
00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:11,707
[Garcia] I'M THE ONE
THAT GOT HIT, THAT'S WHY.
52
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:13,131
IT'S NOT ENTIRELY...
53
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,833
HEY, JONESY. HEY, JONES.
54
00:02:15,935 --> 00:02:17,603
[Dangle] YOU ON YOUR
WAY DOWN THERE?
55
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:21,973
[man on radio] Watch commander to the
bridge, watch commander to the bridge...
56
00:02:24,979 --> 00:02:26,311
[sighing]
57
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:28,447
WHO'S GARCIA'S PARTNER TODAY?
58
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:31,616
NOT IT. NOT IT. NOT IT.
59
00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:33,518
TRUDY.
60
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:34,986
WHAT'D I WIN?
61
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,521
YOU'RE WITH GARCIA, TODAY.
62
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:38,356
WE NEED TO STOP
BY MY GYNECOLOGIST
63
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:39,925
AT 11:00 ON THE WAY.
64
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:42,193
OH, JESUS CHRIST.
65
00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:44,295
I JUST HAVE TO PICK
UP SOME TEST RESULTS,
66
00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:46,798
AND I MIGHT GET A PAP SMEAR,
'CAUSE IT HAS BEEN SIX MONTHS.
67
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,867
HEY, IF YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES,
68
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:50,329
STOP BY AND SEE
JONES, SERIOUSLY,
69
00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,738
BECAUSE IT'S A SHAME THAT
ONE OF OUR BEST OFFICERS
70
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,807
SHOULD BE HUMILIATED LIKE THAT.
71
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:58,810
[blowing whistle]
72
00:03:01,047 --> 00:03:03,314
[children chattering]
73
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:04,983
WHAT ARE Y'ALL
[bleep] LOOKING AT?
74
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:07,152
OH, WHAT?!
75
00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:09,154
[scoffing]
76
00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:11,189
I HATE WHITE GIRLS.
77
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:21,532
I'VE NEVER BEEN IN ONE
OF THESE PLACES BEFORE.
78
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,301
EWW, IT'S CARPETED.
79
00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:25,203
[Garcia] SIR, CAN I ASK
YOU TO GET OFF THE...
80
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,871
HEY, HO, HEY!
81
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:28,507
GET DOWN FROM THERE.
82
00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:29,841
HEY!
83
00:03:29,944 --> 00:03:32,243
[man] YOU LIKE THAT, DON'T YOU?
84
00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:33,812
NO, I DON'T, SIR,
GET OFF THE POLE.
85
00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:35,191
GET OFF THE STAGE.
SIR, GET DOWN.
86
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,748
DON'T FIGHT THE FEELING...
87
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,261
SIR, OKAY, DO YOU
WANT SOME STICK TIME?
88
00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:39,717
DO YOU WANT...
89
00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:44,088
SIR, DON'T FLIP
THAT! DON'T FLIP THAT!
90
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:46,391
JAMES, MAKE HIM STOP!
91
00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:48,527
DON'T SWING ON THAT POLE, OKAY?!
92
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:50,762
I'M GONNA COME DOWN THERE
AND PHYSICALLY REMOVE YOU.
93
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:52,864
[hollering]
94
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,466
DO NOT TEMPT ME, SIR.
95
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,112
[man] YOU GONNA HIDE BEHIND
THAT BADGE AND THAT GUN THERE,
96
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:58,570
OR ARE YOU GONNA SHOW
ME THAT YOU'RE A REAL MAN?
97
00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:00,405
SIR, DON'T...
98
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:02,240
YOU WANT ME TO TAKE
OFF THE BADGE, SIR?
99
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:04,909
OKAY, OKAY,
HIDE-AND-SEEK'S OVER, SIR.
100
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:06,790
YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME
ON WITH THAT CANE, OLD MAN?
101
00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:08,446
ALL RIGHT...
102
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,081
ADlóS, PISTOLA, RIGHT THERE.
103
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:11,583
JUST ME AND YOU, BOY.
104
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,985
SIR, TRUST ME... SIR, I THINK...
105
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,153
AII! OH!
106
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,255
SON OF A BITCH.
107
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,090
WIEGEL, GODDAMN IT, HEY, HEY!
108
00:04:18,192 --> 00:04:19,758
WHY DON'T YOU
DANCE NOW, [bleep].
109
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:21,126
[firing gun]
110
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:22,294
AAH! SON OF A BITCH!
111
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:24,495
AAH, DAMN IT! AAH!
112
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,331
CALL FOR HELP!
113
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,499
HELP!
114
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,001
USE YOUR... USE
YOUR GODDAMN RADIO!
115
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,002
HELP!
116
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:33,104
OH, SON OF BITCH, OH!
117
00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:35,573
I MYSELF HAVE HAD
MANY "DAYDREAMS"
118
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:39,243
ABOUT PUNCHING GARCIA, MYSELF.
119
00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:41,980
UM, I'VE ACTUALLY
HAD "DAYDREAMS"
120
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:43,848
ABOUT "STABBING" GARCIA...
121
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,253
IN THE "DAYTIME"...
122
00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:53,591
"IN FRONT OF PEOPLE."
123
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:56,995
OH, DEAR, DEAR, DEAR
[bleep], THERE HE IS.
124
00:04:57,097 --> 00:05:00,565
HEY, TERRY,
SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT.
125
00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:01,710
HOW YOU DOIN'?
126
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:03,267
HEY, GUYS! HEY!
127
00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:04,636
WHAT'S GOING DOWN?
128
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:06,605
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT'S GOING DOWN, TERRY.
129
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:09,207
YOU KNOW THAT THEY'VE
INSTALLED A CAMERA HERE
130
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,475
AT THIS RED LIGHT HERE?
131
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:11,709
OH MY GOD!
132
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:12,955
YEAH, AND IT TAKES A PICTURE
133
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,090
WHENEVER ANYBODY
RUNS A RED LIGHT.
134
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:16,347
OH, THAT IS AWESOME,
THAT'S LIKE THE FUTURE.
135
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:17,816
IT IS AWESOME.
136
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:20,451
SO YOU KNOW WHY
WE'RE HERE, DON'T YOU?
137
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,420
WHY? WAS THERE A FIRE?
138
00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:23,699
YOU'VE BEEN
CHARGING THREE BUCKS.
139
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:25,490
YOU RUN UP WHEN THE
CAR'S AT THE RED LIGHT,
140
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:28,259
AND YOU GIVE A H.J.
DURING THE RED LIGHT.
141
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:31,562
OH, MY GOD... THAT SOUNDS...
142
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:34,466
THAT'S NOT SOMETHING
THAT I WOULD EVER DO.
143
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,268
NO, EXCEPT, THAT
WE GOT ABOUT, UH...
144
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:38,036
WE GOT ABOUT 38
PHOTOGRAPHS OF YOU,
145
00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:39,904
AND THAT'S ONLY LAST NIGHT.
146
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:42,406
I CAN SEE HOW YOU
WOULD THINK THAT,
147
00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:44,308
BUT I SELL ORANGES.
148
00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:46,044
YOU SELL ORANGES?
149
00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:47,479
YOU SELL ORANGES?
150
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:48,913
MM-HMM.
151
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,314
I'LL TAKE SOME.
152
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:53,018
I'M SOLD OUT, I SOLD
OUT OF MY ORANGES.
153
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:56,054
I RUN OUT AND PEOPLE ARE,
LIKE, "BEEP, BEEP," AND I GO, "OKAY,"
154
00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:57,488
AND THEY ARE DRIVING,
155
00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:58,950
AND SO I JUST
PUT IT IN THEIR LAP.
156
00:05:58,992 --> 00:05:59,992
WELL...
157
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,259
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
158
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,605
YOU PUT AN ORANGE IN THEIR LAP?
159
00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:03,962
COME ON, TERRY...
160
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,474
I CAN'T DO THAT, I HAVE
TO CALL MY GIRLFRIEND.
161
00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:07,618
LISTEN, I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
162
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,167
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU GIVING
HAND JOBS THREE BUCKS A POP
163
00:06:10,269 --> 00:06:11,636
AT THIS RED LIGHT UP HERE.
164
00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:12,949
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
165
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,973
A HAND JOB IS STILL A JOB, OKAY?
166
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,708
COME ON, EASY DOES IT.
167
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,576
XANADU IT RIGHT
INTO THE CAR, NOW.
168
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:21,646
YOU XANA-DON'T IT.
169
00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:22,959
[Dangle] DID HE JUST SAY
"XANA-DON'T IT" TO ME?
170
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:24,783
[Junior] I THINK SO, YEAH.
171
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,964
[Johnson] ALTHOUGH, GARCIA
DOES SAY A LOT OF STUPID THINGS,
172
00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:31,690
AND WE HEAR ALL OF THEM,
173
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:34,092
UM, HE'S ALWAYS SAYING
STUPID THINGS, OKAY?
174
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,961
SO YOU CAN'T... YOU GOTTA
GET USED TO THAT, ALL RIGHT?
175
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,763
AND YOU HAVE TO
KIND OF IGNORE IT.
176
00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:42,534
I HEAR GARCIA SAYING SOMETHING
RACIST OR SOMETHING ANTI-WOMEN
177
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:43,916
AND I JUST TURN IT OFF,
178
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:46,571
AND IT'S JUST, "BLAH-BLAH-BLAH
BLAH-BLAH-BLAH-BLAH."
179
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:48,707
LIKE, I... PROBABLY,
LIKE, WHAT A DOG HEARS.
180
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,108
[barking] EXACTLY.
181
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:53,044
WELL, THAT'S WHAT A DOG SAYS,
THAT'S NOT WHAT A DOG HEARS.
182
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:56,515
SO I'M HERE TO VISIT
OFFICER JONES TODAY,
183
00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:57,816
THOUGHT I'D COME BY
184
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,417
AND BRING HIM A
LITTLE CARE PACKAGE.
185
00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:01,186
HE'S WORKING CROSSWALK
DUTY THIS WEEK,
186
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:02,808
AND I KNOW HE'S
PROBABLY REALLY DOWN,
187
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:05,857
SO I THOUGHT I'D COME
AND CHEER HIM UP,
188
00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:07,259
'CAUSE I KNOW I'D BE UPSET
189
00:07:07,361 --> 00:07:08,437
IF I HAD TO WORK WITH
THESE LITTLE BASTARDS
190
00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:10,061
ALL DAY LONG, SO...
191
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:11,996
READY? OKAY.
192
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,031
UP, DOWN, YES.
193
00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:15,800
YEAH, AND, THEN,
LITTLE SPIRITY...
194
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:18,069
YEAH, OPEN PALM AND SPIRIT.
195
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:20,871
WELL, I WISH I HAD MY CAMERA.
196
00:07:20,973 --> 00:07:24,309
I WISH I HAD MY
CAMERA, MR. JONES.
197
00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:26,177
TAKE CARE, BYE, SWEETIE.
198
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:30,182
OH, SOMEONE'S BEING
BAD, WHO'S A BAD BOY?
199
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,761
YOU DON'T NEED TO
JUDGE ME HERE, OKAY?
200
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,884
I'M NOT JUDGING
YOU, I THINK IT'S CUTE.
201
00:07:33,986 --> 00:07:35,554
I THINK IT'S ADORABLE.
202
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,167
THANKS FOR SHOWING
UP, I'M GLAD YOU CAME BY.
203
00:07:37,191 --> 00:07:38,790
YOU'RE WELCOME, YOU'RE WELCOME.
204
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:41,993
LOOK, IF YOU WANT
CHEERLEADING OUTFITS,
205
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,129
I'VE GOT NOTHING BUT
CHEERLEADING OUTFITS.
206
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:45,496
OH, DO YOU?
207
00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:47,765
YEAH, AND I CAN DO THE
SPLITS ALL THREE WAYS.
208
00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:50,535
YOU KNOW... ALL THREE WAYS.
209
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:53,705
RIGHT, LEFT, MIDDLE.
210
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,585
I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO
GET UP FROM THE GROUND,
211
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,408
AND I CAN DO, ON MY RIGHT LEG,
212
00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:58,877
SPLITS UP AGAINST THE WALL,
213
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,680
SO JUST KEEP THAT
UNDER YOUR HAT.
214
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,548
I WILL, THANK YOU, I'M
GLAD YOU SHOWED UP.
215
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,183
YOU GOT BEER AND... I MISS YOU.
216
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,551
YOU DO? YEAH?
217
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:07,685
I MISS YOU TOO.
218
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:08,887
THIS IS SAD.
219
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:12,524
I'M LOOKING AT AN EBONY
STATUE IN TANGERINE,
220
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:15,994
AND IT MAKES ME
WANNA CRY 'CAUSE IT'S...
221
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:19,297
IT'S, UH, YOU'RE NOT LIVING
UP TO YOUR POTENTIAL.
222
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,733
WE WANT YOU BACK, YOU KNOW?
223
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,568
WELL, THANK YOU FOR THE BEER.
224
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,003
THANK YOU FOR THE
SUNBLOCK AND SANDWICHES.
225
00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:27,405
I'VE GOT A HALF AN HOUR.
226
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,507
YOU WANT TO, UH...
227
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:30,742
YOU WANNA DO IT? YEAH.
228
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:31,844
OKAY.
229
00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:34,012
I DO, LET'S GO.
230
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,214
THERE'S A PORT-O-POTTY,
LIKE, DOWN THE STREET.
231
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:38,916
YEAH... LET'S JUST
DO IT IN THE CAR.
232
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:48,659
NO DAY IS EVER
TOO BUSY TO STOP IN
233
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:50,394
AND GET THE HOOK-UP, HUH?
234
00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:53,031
YOU CAN'T FIGHT
CRIME IF YOU AIN'T CUTE.
235
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:56,033
HEY, PEOPLE! WHAT'S UP?!
236
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,269
RAINEESHA, GIRL, WHAT'S UP?!
237
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,906
HOW ARE YOU, BABY?
238
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:04,309
I'M SO GLAD YOU
COULD SQUEEZE ME IN.
239
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,111
YES, I WILL, OF COURSE,
SQUEEZE YOU IN.
240
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:09,080
OF COURSE, SQUEEZE YOU, GIRL.
241
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:12,216
HEY, GIRLFRIEND! WHOO-WHOO!
242
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:13,785
DANGLE?
243
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,164
YEAH, I'M KICKING
IT AT CHANDRA'S.
244
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:16,955
WELL, WHAT YOU DOIN' HERE?
245
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,623
I ASKED YOU WHERE'S
THE BEST PLACE,
246
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:19,936
AND YOU TOLD ME
WHERE'S THE BEST PLACE,
247
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,159
AND HERE I AM.
248
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,128
I'M SURPRISED.
249
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,729
I MEAN, I DIDN'T
EXPECT TO SEE YOU.
250
00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:25,963
SHE'S THE BEST.
251
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,767
WELL, Y'ALL HURRY IT
ON UP, THEN, I GUESS.
252
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,468
WAIT A SECOND.
253
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:35,707
UM, HELLO, UM, UH,
WHEN DID PARKER POSEY
254
00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:37,342
BECOME A CRACKHEAD?
255
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:38,475
WHO PARKER POSEY?
256
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,777
RIGHT THERE.
257
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,160
YOU KNOW, BLACK WOMEN, WE DRESS.
258
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,192
A BLACK GIRL DRESSED LIKE
THAT, THEY'D PICK YOU UP.
259
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:44,615
SPEAKING OF MARRIED FIVE TIMES,
260
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:45,995
YOU KNOW WHO'S
COMING UP NEXT YEAR?
261
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,686
LIZA!
262
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:49,854
WHITE WOMEN AGE BAD.
263
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,822
WHITE WOMEN AGE REAL BAD.
264
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:55,393
HELLO, HELLO,
LOCK IT ON UP, JACK.
265
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:56,961
I GOT AN APPOINTMENT
I GOT TO KEEP,
266
00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:58,530
GOTTA GO SEE MY MAN.
267
00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:01,432
GOING TO SEE JONES, I TOLD YOU.
268
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:03,546
WHAT, HE SAID HE WAS GONNA
SEE SOMEBODY NAME OF JONES.
269
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:05,436
THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.
270
00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:07,772
WHEN HE CAME IN, HE SAID,
"YEAH, GIRL, HOOK ME UP.
271
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:08,874
"I'M GOING TO SEE JONES.
272
00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:11,376
I GOTTA LOOK RIGHT, GET
MY HIGHLIGHTS REDONE."
273
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:14,011
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
JONESY? MY JONES?
274
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:17,648
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT HE SAID
WHEN HE CAME IN... JONES.
275
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:19,195
JONES, THAT WAS THE
NAME YOU SAID, RIGHT?
276
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,351
JONES?
277
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,153
I KNOW IT WAS JONES,
YOU SAID JONES.
278
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,587
THIS IS BURNING A LITTLE BIT.
279
00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:25,222
OH, DO YOU HAVE A TENDER HEAD?
280
00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:27,592
SHEENA, GO PUT HIM
UNDER THE SHAMPOO BOWL.
281
00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:29,772
I'M BURNING A LITTLE BIT,
I'M BURNING A LITTLE BIT.
282
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:32,496
[Williams] ARE YOU TELLING
ME THAT HE SAID TO YOU
283
00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:34,765
THAT HE WAS GONNA
GET ALL PULLED TOGETHER
284
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:36,334
TO GO SEE MY JONES?
285
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:37,502
UH-HUH.
286
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:38,636
RENT A BILLBOARD.
287
00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:40,418
WHY DON'T YOU RENT
A BILLBOARD, CHANDRA?
288
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:50,949
GOOD AFTERNOON.
289
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:53,351
WHERE YOU GOING
TO IN SUCH A HURRY?
290
00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:55,420
I'M... I'M DOING A MAGIC SHOW.
291
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:57,889
I'M AN ENTERTAINER, I DO MAGIC.
292
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,224
OKAY, SO YOU NEED TO
SWERVE ALL OVER THE ROAD
293
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,759
TO DO THAT, SIR?
294
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:02,972
I WAS IN A LITTLE
BIT OF A HURRY.
295
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,428
YOU BEEN DRINKING?
296
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:06,297
UH, NO.
297
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,466
LET ME SEE YOUR EYES.
298
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,301
CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE THOSE OFF,
299
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:11,502
SO I CAN SEE YOUR EYES,
300
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,437
SO I CAN BELIEVE YOU
FOR TWO SECONDS?
301
00:11:13,539 --> 00:11:15,406
OKAY, SO WE CAN
DO THIS THE EASY WAY
302
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,308
OR WE CAN DO THIS THE HARD WAY.
303
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,588
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO
TELL ME ABOUT IN YOUR POCKETS
304
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:22,080
OR ELSEWHERE ON YOUR
BODY BEFORE I FRISK YOU?
305
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,682
OR YOU WANNA JUST ADMIT
TO IT RIGHT NOW AT YOUR...
306
00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:25,917
I MEAN, I DON'T REALLY...
307
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,519
ANY WEAPONS I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?
308
00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:29,020
CARDS.
309
00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:30,488
PUT IT ON THE TOP OF THE CAR.
310
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,156
ONE OF MY BALLS.
311
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:34,125
SILK.
312
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,993
ON TOP OF THE CAR, PLEASE.
313
00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:37,195
THERE'S YOUR OTHER BALL.
314
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:39,463
[coughing]
315
00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:41,632
I WAS A MAGICIAN'S
ASSISTANT FOR MANY YEARS,
316
00:11:41,734 --> 00:11:43,234
AND THAT'S GROSS.
317
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:45,135
WE'RE NOT GONNA
TALK ABOUT THAT NOW.
318
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,904
JUST PUT THAT ON TOP OF THE CAR.
319
00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:49,106
LET'S GET THIS GOING...
RUBBER CHICKEN.
320
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:52,276
IT'S... IT'S... IT'S A...
321
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,378
ON TOP OF THE CAR,
I DON'T WANT YOUR...
322
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,213
I DON'T WANT YOUR
CROTCH FLOWERS.
323
00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:57,615
ON TOP OF THE CAR!
324
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,017
[coughing]
325
00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,719
AHH!
326
00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:02,932
AND THAT'S ALL I GOT, MA'AM.
327
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:04,756
NOW, YOU'VE
WASTED A LOT OF TIME.
328
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,457
ARE YOU SURE
THERE'S NOTHING ELSE?
329
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,892
NOTHING YOU WANNA TELL ME, HUH?
330
00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:09,460
NOTHING YOU WANNA TELL ME?
331
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,595
ROCK COCAINE, A
LITTLE ROCK COCAINE.
332
00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:13,564
HUH? HUH?
333
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:17,468
OH, WASTING MY TIME,
AND NOW I'M ANNOYED.
334
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,737
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL.
335
00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:21,119
NO, NO, IT'S NOT...
336
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,484
NO, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
337
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:23,988
THIS ISN'T GONNA
WORK WITH ME, MA'AM.
338
00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:25,343
THIS ISN'T GONNA...
339
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:26,925
I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S
NOT GONNA WORK.
340
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:28,646
GET IN THE CAR.
341
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,015
GET IN THE CAR, AND
YOU BETTER COOPERATE.
342
00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:32,817
YOU WANT YOUR WATCH BACK?
343
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,051
GET IN THE CAR!
344
00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:34,986
HERE, YOU CAN HAVE
YOUR WATCH BACK.
345
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,208
THANK YOU! YOU'RE WELCOME.
346
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,590
NICE! UNH-UNH!
347
00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:39,971
GO THAT WAY, PAL.
348
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,225
UNH-UNH.
349
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:43,461
[Jones] UNDER RECONSTRUCTION
OVER HERE, OKAY?
350
00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:45,296
KEEP GOING.
351
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:50,579
I DON'T THINK THERE
WAS ANY REAL REASON
352
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,269
FOR JONES TO HIT GARCIA,
353
00:12:52,371 --> 00:12:54,806
'CAUSE GARCIA'S A MAN WHO'S
ALREADY DOWN, YOU KNOW?
354
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:57,775
GARCIA AIN'T GOT, UH, UH...
355
00:12:57,877 --> 00:13:00,044
FRIENDS.
356
00:13:00,146 --> 00:13:02,313
HE LIVES IN A LITTLE
[bleep] APARTMENT.
357
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:05,583
HE, UH, DON'T HAVE NO
FAMILY THAT I KNOW OF.
358
00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:11,255
HE, UH, AIN'T GOT NO TASTE,
HE'S RACIST, HE'S A SEXIST.
359
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:14,692
HE'S A LYING,
BIGOT, HORSE'S ASS.
360
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,560
I THINK, UH, YOU
KNOW, HITTING HIM
361
00:13:16,662 --> 00:13:20,298
IS JUST THROWING [bleep]
ON TOP OF A BIG [bleep] PILE
362
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,500
THAT'S ALREADY GOT
TOO MUCH [bleep] IN IT.
363
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:25,036
JONES CAN'T... HE CAN'T QUIT.
364
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,905
HE JUST CAN'T. ABSOLUTELY NOT.
365
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:30,375
HE'S THE GLUE HOLDING OUR...
366
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:35,212
WE'RE LIKE A LITTLE,
BADLY MADE BIRDHOUSE.
367
00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:38,382
I MEAN, THE ONLY THING HOLDING
THIS BIRDHOUSE TOGETHER
368
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:39,604
IS JONES.
369
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,586
YOU TWO ARE NOT... YOU
ARE NOT HER MOTHER.
370
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:44,255
THEY HAVE, LIKE, A SHOW WHERE...
371
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,190
HEY. HEY!
372
00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:47,891
Y'ALL DRIVING THAT GREEN HONDA?
373
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:50,561
YOU ABOUT TO GET A TICKET
'CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO WRITE IT.
374
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:53,497
TAKE CARE, KIM, I GOT
YOUR NUMBER, OKAY?
375
00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:55,032
HEY, HOW YOU DOIN'?
376
00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:56,734
I GOT YOUR NUMBER.
377
00:13:56,836 --> 00:14:00,338
HEY, WHAT YOU GOT?
SOMETHING SMELLS GOOD.
378
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,617
I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE HUNGRY.
379
00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,708
HAD SOME MEATLOAF
LAST NIGHT, BAM!
380
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:07,712
MMM! THAT'S
RAINEESHA'S MEATLOAF.
381
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:09,547
THAT'S WHAT THAT IS.
382
00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:11,182
ASK RAINEESHA WHAT THIS IS.
383
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,516
WHAT IS IT?
384
00:14:12,618 --> 00:14:14,519
IT'S A LITTLE GIFT FOR YOUR DESK
385
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:17,621
WHEN YOU COME ON BACK, HUH?
386
00:14:17,723 --> 00:14:19,924
RAE, I'M NOT GONNA... I'M NOT...
387
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,425
I'M NOT COMING BACK.
388
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,093
WHAT YOU MEAN YOU'RE
NOT COMING BACK?
389
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,661
WHY?
390
00:14:24,763 --> 00:14:26,364
LOOK AT WHERE I AM.
391
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,899
I AM HAVING A GREAT
TIME OUT HERE.
392
00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:31,302
I'M OUT IN GOD'S COUNTRY.
393
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:32,837
I'M GIVING BACK
TO THE COMMUNITY.
394
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:35,039
THE CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE,
395
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:37,308
AND I AM GIVING BACK
TO THE COMMUNITY.
396
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,010
COME ON, NOW, COME ON, NOW.
397
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,277
YOU COME ON BACK,
398
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,647
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU YOUR
PRESENT NOW AS INCENTIVE.
399
00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:44,549
BAM!
400
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:46,417
ALL ABOUT RAINEESHA, HUH?
401
00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:48,119
SHE TOOK IT RIGHT HERE, UNH!
402
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:51,522
I KNOW YOU NEEDS
TO SEE THAT, HUH?
403
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,324
HOLLER, YOU COME ON BACK.
404
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:54,892
YOU THINK ABOUT THAT.
405
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:57,094
OKAY, ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU, RAE.
406
00:14:57,196 --> 00:14:59,163
ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU
WHEN YOU GET BACK.
407
00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:00,831
I'M NOT COMING BACK.
408
00:15:04,103 --> 00:15:06,737
MY JOB AS AN OFFICER
409
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:10,408
IS TO MAKE SURE
YOU KIDS ARE SAFE.
410
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:14,878
BUT TRUTH BE TOLD, I CAN'T
BE EVERYWHERE AT ONCE.
411
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:17,882
I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE
WEARING A SHORT SKIRT.
412
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:20,885
I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE
WEARING DUNGAREES.
413
00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:22,227
I DON'T CARE IF YOU SMELL BAD.
414
00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:24,355
I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE
FUN TO BE AROUND.
415
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:28,859
BUT YOU CAN BE REST
ASSURED THAT EVERY ONE OF YOU
416
00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:31,162
AT SOME POINT...
417
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,797
IS GONNA RAPED.
418
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:36,534
IT HAPPENS, HEY... I'M
NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT,
419
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:41,572
BUT THERE IS SOME GOOD NEWS.
420
00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:43,841
CAN YOU IMAGINE... YOU GO
TO YOUR DOCTOR AND YOU SAY,
421
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,042
"I'VE BEEN RAPED,"
422
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:47,011
AND HE GOES, "OH MY
GOD, THAT'S HORRIBLE,"
423
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:50,281
AND THEN HE SAYS,
"BUT GUESS WHAT?
424
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,182
"POT OF GOLD AT THE
END OF THE RAINBOW...
425
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:55,052
"YOU'RE PREGNANT...
426
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:58,088
AND YOU'RE HAVING TRIPLETS."
427
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,725
OH MY GOD!
428
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:02,326
AND THEN I GO, "OH MY GOD,"
429
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:03,948
AND I FREAK OUT AND
I CALL EVERYBODY.
430
00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:05,963
THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN TO ME.
431
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:07,385
THAT HASN'T HAPPENED TO ME, YET.
432
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:16,473
[spraying mouth spray]
433
00:16:16,575 --> 00:16:19,043
YOU GIRLS SHOULD BE IN SCHOOL.
434
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,011
HEY, BUD!
435
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,781
HEY. HEY.
436
00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:25,349
UH, SORRY, EXCUSE ME.
437
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,718
MISS CARVER, THIS IS
LIEUTENANT DANGLE.
438
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:31,255
DANGLE, THIS IS MISS CARVER.
439
00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:34,192
SHE TEACHES ALGEBRA
AT THE HIGH SCHOOL.
440
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,627
UM...
441
00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:40,464
YES... YES, SHE DOES.
442
00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:45,069
UM...
443
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,507
I GOT YOU A BEAR.
444
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:53,310
[in childish voice]
"COME BACK, JONES."
445
00:16:53,412 --> 00:16:55,346
LISTEN, I FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE,
446
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,014
TAKE THE BEAR, TAKE IT.
447
00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:59,383
I FEEL LIKE A [bleep].
448
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:01,719
NO, I FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE.
449
00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:03,520
I APPRECIATE IT.
450
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:05,990
YEAH, GOOD LUCK WITH
ALGEBRA, BY THE WAY.
451
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:18,202
OH GOD, MY BIKE, OH, [bleep] ME!
452
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:20,504
PEOPLE ARE [bleep]!
453
00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:22,840
I WAS THERE FOR TWO MINUTES.
454
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:25,208
YOU BETTER NOT
BE LAUGHING AT ME!
455
00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:26,210
[Dangle] YOU'RE ALL ACCESSORIES!
456
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:28,079
EVERY ONE OF YOU'S AN ACCESSORY!
457
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,653
HEY, LOOK AT THIS
SON OF A BITCH.
458
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:37,455
LOOK AT THIS GUY.
459
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,923
THAT POOR [bleep],
LOOKS LIKE A MILK SHAKE.
460
00:17:40,025 --> 00:17:41,492
[can clanks]
461
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:42,604
WHY'D YOU THROW THAT AT HIM?
462
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:43,760
WHAT?
463
00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:45,407
POOR SON OF A BITCH OUT
THERE BEING A SANDWICH BOARD.
464
00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:46,842
I DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU HAVE TO BE A DICK.
465
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:47,731
WHAT?
466
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:48,666
THE GUY'S OUT THERE,
467
00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:49,845
HE'S PROBABLY
MAKING LIKE $3 AN HOUR
468
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,179
TO STAND THERE
DRESSED UP LIKE A [bleep].
469
00:17:51,203 --> 00:17:52,570
[bleep] YOU! YOU [bleep]!
470
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:54,338
HEY! THAT SON OF A BITCH.
471
00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:57,007
RUN... YOU RUN, [bleep] RUN!
472
00:17:57,109 --> 00:17:58,408
GET DOWN!
473
00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:01,779
SON OF A BITCH, YOU
BETTER RUN, [bleep]!
474
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:03,447
FREEZE! FREEZE!
475
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:06,083
FREEZE, [bleep]!
476
00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:08,619
YEAH, YOU THINK YOU'RE
TOUGH?! YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY?!
477
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:10,699
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY?
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY?
478
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:11,963
WHO'S FUNNY NOW, MILK SHAKE?!
479
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:15,359
HUH, HUH?! HUH?!
480
00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:17,594
TURN THAT THING OFF.
481
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:19,163
TURN THAT OFF, NOW.
482
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:20,665
YOU'RE NOT ROLLING,
NOW, ARE YOU?
483
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,300
[milk shake crying]
484
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:24,101
HUH?
485
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,509
YOU'RE OFF, RIGHT?
486
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,278
[milk shake crying]
487
00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:36,113
OW!
488
00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:39,716
[crying]
489
00:18:39,818 --> 00:18:42,419
OH, HELP, I CAN'T GET OUT!
490
00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:45,455
HELP ME!
491
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:48,426
I'M STUCK IN HERE!
492
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:49,994
BYE, AMBER, WE'LL SEE YOU.
493
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:52,063
HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND, OKAY, GUYS?
494
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:03,974
HEY...
495
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:07,111
HOW'S IT GOING, JONES?
496
00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:12,116
I WANTED TO, UH, JUST
SAY THAT I'M AN IDIOT.
497
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:15,419
I WAS A REAL JACKELOPE.
498
00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:17,788
I GOT CAUGHT UP IN
THE HEAT OF A JOKE,
499
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,124
AND BAD THINGS HAPPENED,
500
00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:25,596
AND, UH, EVERYBODY DOWN
AT THE STATION, UH, MISSES YOU.
501
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:29,900
I MISS YOU, AND, UH... I
WOULD REALLY LIKE IT
502
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:35,172
IF WE COULD BE FRIENDS
OR PARTNERS AGAIN, AND...
503
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:39,276
I WANTED TO MAKE AMENDS,
504
00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:42,880
SO I BROUGHT YOU
SOMETHING TO EAT.
505
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:46,550
THANK YOU.
506
00:19:46,652 --> 00:19:48,030
THANK YOU, I KNOW
THAT WAS REAL HARD
507
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,653
FOR YOU TO SAY...
508
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:51,622
I DID THAT RIGHT.
509
00:19:56,262 --> 00:19:58,462
THIS IS FRIED CHICKEN
AND MALT LIQUOR.
510
00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:07,471
I'LL TAKE OFF.
511
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:10,107
YEAH, YEAH, I
THINK YOU SHOULD...
512
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,976
OKAY...
513
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,413
SHOULD I TAKE IT? NO.
514
00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:41,271
Captioning made possible
by COMEDY CENTRAL
515
00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:49,024
[Junior] WHAT THE HELL
IS A PAP SMEAR, ANYWAY?
516
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:50,280
[Garcia] A PSYCHOLOGICAL TEST
517
00:20:50,382 --> 00:20:52,327
WHERE THEY TEST WHAT DO
YOU SEE IN THE PAP SMEAR.
518
00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:54,018
NO, THAT'S...
519
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:56,265
A PAP SMEAR IS WHEN THEY TAKE
SOME OF YOUR FEMALE JUICES,
520
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:57,866
AND THEY PUT IT ON
A CLEAR GLASS THING,
521
00:20:57,890 --> 00:20:59,067
AND THEY PUT IT UP TO THE LIGHT
522
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,757
TO SEE IF YOU HAVE
CRABS OR SYPHILIS
523
00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:02,159
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
524
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:04,362
FEMALE JUICES? WHAT IS THAT?
525
00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:06,863
YOU DON'T NEED NO PAP SMEAR
TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE CRABS.
526
00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:08,732
YOU KNOW YOU GOT CRABS.
527
00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:10,412
YOU GOT THE GALLOPING
DANDRUFF GOING ON.
528
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,670
I CAN'T EAT FOR A
WEEK, NOW, THANK YOU.
529
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,972
GOOD, THEN WE
WON'T HAVE TO SMELL
530
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:16,707
YOUR [bleep] TACO
FARTS EVERY DAY.
36788
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