Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:09,475
Captions made possible
by COMEDY CENTRAL
2
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,081
RENO DISPATCH!
3
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,716
THIS IS 14-DAVID-21.
4
00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,350
WE ARE EAST BOUND ON ROUTE 80
5
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,820
IN HOT PURSUIT
OF A WHITE B.M.W.,
6
00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:25,457
NEVADA PLATE: M-D-4...
7
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:27,025
UH, THAT'S A VANITY PLATE.
8
00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:28,326
IT'S A VANITY PLATE.
9
00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:30,261
M-D-4-K.
10
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,796
DOC... THAT MEANS DOCTOR.
11
00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:35,033
DOCTOR... DR. FORK, DR. FORK!
12
00:00:35,136 --> 00:00:36,301
ME "D" FORK. DR. FORK.
13
00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:37,702
DR. FORK ME "D" FORK.
14
00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:39,804
DR. FORK... K-9, K-9!
15
00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:41,173
K-9 IS A DOG.
16
00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:42,407
DOG... DOCTOR FOR CANINES!
17
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:43,510
HE'S A VET! HE'S A VET!
18
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:44,443
LOOK OUT, LOOK...
19
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,811
[crashing]
20
00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:49,614
[sirens blaring]
21
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:54,319
OH HO, OH, HO-HO!
22
00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:58,557
[police radio chatter]
23
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,859
AGGGHHHH!
24
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:04,296
HERE YOU GO... LAL-LA, YEAH...
25
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:08,567
[screaming]
26
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:09,567
[man on radio]
2-3, Roger, Roger!
27
00:01:09,669 --> 00:01:10,569
Shots fired!
28
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,805
OH-HO-HO!
29
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:16,674
[police radio chatter]
30
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:23,915
[sirens blaring]
31
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:27,553
[Dangle] GARCIA.
32
00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:29,154
[Garcia] THANK YOU.
33
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:30,689
UH... DON'T KNOW WHO'S DOING IT.
34
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:32,624
UH, I BROUGHT SOME
TAMALES, HOMEMADE,
35
00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:34,459
MOM MADE 'EM.
36
00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:35,627
UH, PUT 'EM IN THE FRIDGE.
37
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:37,629
NOW I HAVE FOUND
THEY'RE MUSSED UP.
38
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,230
FINGERPRINTS ON 'EM.
39
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,232
DON'T KNOW WHO IT IS,
DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
40
00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:44,169
ALL I'M SAYIN' IS KEEP
YOUR GODDAMN [blank] MITTS
41
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,004
OFF MY TAMALES, OKAY?
42
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,450
NOW THAT YOU'RE
POINTING FINGERS,
43
00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:49,807
I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHO TOOK
THE FINGERPRINT DUSTING KIT
44
00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:51,610
OUT OF THE FINGERPRINT AREA.
45
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:54,112
ALL OF A SUDDEN, THERE WERE
FINGERPRINTS ON YOUR TAMALES.
46
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:55,947
HOW DID YOU CHECK
THAT, T.J. HOOKER?
47
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,815
WELL, IT SHOULD
NOT BE TO THE POINT
48
00:01:57,918 --> 00:02:00,652
WHERE I HAVE TO
CHECK IT, MacGYVER.
49
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,754
MacGYVER WAS NOT
A POLICE OFFICER.
50
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,423
WELL, HE WAS AN INVESTIGATOR.
51
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:05,891
NO, HE WAS NOT. YES, HE WAS.
52
00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:07,804
[Jones] HE WAS AN
INVENTOR, HE WAS AN INVEN...
53
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:09,961
WELL, YOU KNOW, THE
GUY I MEANT WAS MATLOCK.
54
00:02:10,064 --> 00:02:10,795
THAT'S WHO I MEANT.
55
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:12,008
MATLOCK... FINE.
56
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:13,672
MATLOCK'S A DETECTIVE,
THAT'S DIFFERENT.
57
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,701
QUIET DOWN, MAUDE.
58
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,769
[laughing]
59
00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:19,304
SHE'S WAY OFF!
60
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,139
THAT'S A SITCOM.
61
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,208
YOU ARE ON THE MOON, WIEGEL.
62
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:24,510
I'M SORRY.
63
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,778
OKAY, PEOPLE THIS JUST CAME DOWN
64
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,647
FROM THE VERY TIPPETY-TOP BRASS.
65
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:31,383
MAYOR JUAREZ, OUR
HONORABLE MAYOR...
66
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,852
HIS SON, JAIME,
BLEW OFF HIS THUMB,
67
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:38,389
UH, WITH AN ILLEGAL
M-80 FIREWORK.
68
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,692
SO, YEAH, THE HEAT IS
REALLY COMING DOWN.
69
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:41,904
WE GOTTA PUT A STOP TO IT.
70
00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:43,529
WE GOTTA PUT A STOP TO IT NOW.
71
00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:45,397
WASN'T MATLOCK A LAWYER?
72
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,999
[bleep] MATLOCK WAS A LAWYER.
73
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:53,706
HEY, KARL. HEY, KARL.
74
00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,340
HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?
75
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:58,776
HOW YOU DOING THERE, BUDDY?
76
00:02:58,878 --> 00:02:59,778
I'M DOING OKAY.
77
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:00,920
YOU KNOW WHY WE OUT HERE?
78
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,581
FOR THE FESTIVAL?
79
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,716
FOR WHAT FESTIVAL?
80
00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:06,584
FOR THE...
81
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:09,287
SHOW OF LIGHT... PARADE.
82
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:10,488
THE SHOW OF LIGHT PARADE?
83
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:13,624
I'M MAKING A SURFBOARD
FOR MY CACTUS BEETLE.
84
00:03:13,726 --> 00:03:15,927
WE OUT HERE
BECAUSE WE GOT A CALL
85
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,196
THAT YOU WAS
LETTING OFF FIREWORKS.
86
00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:21,299
NAH. IS THAT TRUE, KARL?
87
00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:22,668
IS THAT THE SHOW OF LIGHT?
88
00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:25,537
WE DO IT AT NIGHT, BUT, UH,
89
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,172
I AIN'T GOT NO FIREWORKS.
90
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:28,784
WERE DID YOU GET
THE FIREWORKS, KARL?
91
00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:30,441
YOU GOT "BLACK CATS" HERE...
92
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:33,712
THE MAGIC VAN... YOU GUYS
ARE A COUPLE OF BLACK CATS.
93
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,814
YOU KNOW, "JUMPING
JACKS" ARE ILLEGAL HERE
94
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,549
IN THE STATE OF NEVADA.
95
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,584
YOU MEAN THE CALISTHENICS?
96
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:43,554
♪ YOU KNOW, YOU LOOK
LIKE SOMEBODY I KNOW ♪
97
00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:45,757
WHAT ARE YOU...
WHAT ARE YOU SINGING?
98
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:48,760
SHE LOOKS LIKE SHIRLEY HEMPHILL
99
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:50,828
FROM "WHAT'S HAPPENING!!"
100
00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:52,130
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
101
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,665
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA LEAVE.
102
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:54,899
"HEY, DWAYNE."
103
00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:56,445
I'M GONNA SHOW YOU
WHAT'S HAPPENING.
104
00:03:56,469 --> 00:03:57,535
THIS IS WHAT'S HAPPENING.
105
00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:59,237
NO! HUH?
106
00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:01,173
THAT'S NOT CINNAMON!
107
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,507
THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING.
108
00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:04,442
THAT'S NOT CINNAMON.
109
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:05,910
I THINK I NEED A LAWYER.
110
00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:06,912
OKAY.
111
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,847
THAT MADE MY GUM TASTE BAD.
112
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:09,981
LET'S GO, LET'S GO.
113
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:10,849
ARE YOU SURE WE...
114
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,283
NO, I'M SURE, LET'S GO.
115
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:14,820
'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT'S
HAPPENING, HUH?
116
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,254
HEY, HEY, HEY!
117
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:17,357
[chuckling]
118
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:18,957
WHEN I'M WEARING THIS OUTFIT
119
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:22,827
THAT I GOT FOR THE
PROSTITUTION STING...
120
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,874
YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO PUT THIS DELICATELY,
121
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:27,031
BUT WHAT KIND OF
UNDERGARMENTS DO YOU WEAR
122
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:29,301
THAT AREN'T GONNA BE...
123
00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:33,372
WELL... IS THIS A
LINGERIE TYPE OF THING?
124
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,407
OH, YEAH, THIS IS THE REAL DEAL.
125
00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:36,519
UP-THE-BUTT TYPE OF DEAL?
126
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:38,276
WELL, YOU SHOULD...
127
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:41,913
YOU SHOULD, UH... AS MY
BROTHERS USED TO SAY,
128
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:44,082
YOU SHOULD FREE-BALL IT.
129
00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:45,683
YOU CAN WEAR NOTHING UNDER...
130
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:46,984
I MEAN, IT'S LINGERIE,
131
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:48,531
SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO
WEAR UNDERGARMENTS.
132
00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:50,722
WHAT IS "FREE-BALL IT"?
133
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,523
HAVE YOU EVER WORN A THONG?
134
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:53,670
A WHAT?
135
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:55,126
A THONG.
136
00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:58,062
YEAH, WHEN I GO TO THE
BEACH, I WEAR THONGS.
137
00:04:58,164 --> 00:04:59,231
OH, YOU DO?
138
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:01,532
NEVER FIGURED YOU FOR...
139
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,534
WELL, MY FEET GET
BURNED ON THE SAND...
140
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:07,072
NO, HONEY, ONE OF THOSE...
141
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:09,574
LITTLE, UH... DRAWERS...
142
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:12,444
LIKE A SLINGSHOT,
GOES UP YOUR BUM.
143
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,246
OH, GOD, NO. YOU
EVER WORN THOSE?
144
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:15,425
NO, NO.
145
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:17,115
THOSE WILL GIVE YOU
A YEAST INFECTION.
146
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:19,083
TESTING, TESTING.
147
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:20,618
[tapping microphone]
148
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,355
THIS IS OFFICER TRUDY WIEGEL.
149
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:27,426
IT IS 0-800...
150
00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:31,696
OH... 0-1300 HOURS...
151
00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:34,165
OUT HERE ON 4th STREET.
152
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,368
DOING A LITTLE
PROSTITUTION STING TODAY.
153
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:38,770
SEE IF WE CAN'T CATCH OURSELVES
154
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:42,340
SOME PERVERTS...
155
00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:44,776
LOOKING FOR A LITTLE...
156
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,078
WHOOPEE.
157
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,012
HEY, THERE.
158
00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:50,348
HOW YOU DOING TODAY?
159
00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:52,283
CAN I OFFER YOU...
160
00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:53,718
CAN I...
161
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,987
HE GOT SCARED, HE GOT SCARED.
162
00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:10,234
THERE THEY ARE.
163
00:06:10,336 --> 00:06:11,547
THERE THEY ARE. THERE THEY ARE.
164
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:12,937
SON OF A BITCH.
165
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,409
FREEZE!
166
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:18,943
FREEZE RIGHT THERE!
167
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,379
HANDS OVER YOUR HEAD,
WALK TOWARDS US SLOWLY!
168
00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:23,748
SLOWLY, SLOWLY... FREEZE!
169
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:25,717
NOW COME FORWARD, COME FORWARD!
170
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:26,718
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
171
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:27,820
DOWN ON YOUR KNEES!
172
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,120
HANDS ON YOUR HEAD!
173
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,489
NOT YOU, SIR, NOT YOU, SIR.
174
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:31,456
NOT YET.
175
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,024
BEHIND YOUR HEAD, NOT ON TOP.
176
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,259
SIR, TO THE RIGHT...
177
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,861
HANDS... HEAD...
BEHIND YOUR HEAD.
178
00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:38,096
DOWN ON YOUR KNEES, SIR.
179
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:39,878
DO NOT LISTEN TO ME,
LISTEN TO MY PARTNER.
180
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:41,399
LISTEN TO HIM, NOT ME!
181
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:43,268
DO NOT LISTEN TO MY PARTNER!
182
00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:44,480
LISTEN TO HIM!
183
00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:47,205
GET ALL THE WAY DOWN,
ALL THE WAY DOWN.
184
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:48,747
DON'T STOP... YOU
STOP YOUR CRYING!
185
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,122
STOP YOUR CRYING!
186
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:51,609
YOU BETTER QUIT CRYING!
187
00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:53,110
GET THAT BIG ASS DOWN!
188
00:06:53,212 --> 00:06:54,490
GET IT DOWN!
189
00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:56,359
OKAY, LOOK, WE GOT AN
A.P.B., TWO MALE CAUCASIANS.
190
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:58,716
WE GOT KHAKI SLACKS, WE
GOT BUTTON-DOWN SHIRTS,
191
00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:00,785
WE GOT NECKTIES, BLUE AND BROWN.
192
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:03,154
YOU, BIG MAN, RIGHT
HERE, IN THE GREEN.
193
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,555
REACH... GET YOUR SATCHEL.
194
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:05,938
TAKE IT OFF, SIR.
195
00:07:06,025 --> 00:07:07,259
SLOW!
196
00:07:07,361 --> 00:07:09,027
DON'T MOVE...
GET GOIN'... LET GO!
197
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,029
JONES, CHECK THE BAG.
198
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,664
STAY DOWN. STOP CRYING.
199
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,432
SHUT UP.
200
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:16,334
THEY'RE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES.
201
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,135
WHAT?
202
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:18,970
THEY'RE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES.
203
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:20,938
[sobbing]
204
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,340
SORRY ABOUT THAT, FELLAS.
205
00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:23,508
WRONG MEN.
206
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:24,970
SORRY ABOUT THAT,
HAVE A GOOD DAY.
207
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,015
A.P.B., MY ASS.
208
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,683
GOD, I HATE RELIGIOUS PEOPLE.
209
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,619
[beep] THE GUY WAS CRYING.
210
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:35,754
[honking horn]
211
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,322
SEE YOU, HAVE A GOOD DAY!
212
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:39,857
[wailing siren]
213
00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:45,262
[Junior] NOW, THE
MAYOR'S ALL RAISING HELL
214
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:46,576
BECAUSE, UH, HE WANTS
US TO CRACK DOWN
215
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,467
ON ILLEGAL FIREWORKS,
'CAUSE HIS SON
216
00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:51,569
BLEW HIS THUMB OFF WITH AN M-80.
217
00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:53,538
BUT, UH, YOU KNOW, TRUTH IS,
218
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,373
I WAS AT THAT
PARTY WITH THIS BOY,
219
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,542
AND, UH, THAT IS NOT
HOW HE LOST HIS THUMB.
220
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,910
HE WAS, UH... VERY DRUNK.
221
00:08:00,012 --> 00:08:01,713
I WAS VERY DRUNK MYSELF.
222
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,215
SOMEBODY BET HIM $25
223
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,785
THAT HE COULD NOT
SNATCH A TENNIS BALL
224
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,520
OUT FROM UNDERNEATH A LAWNMOWER
225
00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,054
WHILE IT WAS GOING.
226
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,634
AND HE DID IT TWICE,
BUT THEY KEPT...
227
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,218
"DOUBLE OR NOTHING,
DOUBLE OR NOTHING,
228
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:14,559
RAY, DOUBLE OR NOTHING."
229
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,127
AND THE THIRD TIME... WHACK.
230
00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:18,229
WHAT IS THAT?
231
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:19,998
WHAT IS WHAT? WHAT
ARE YOU WEARING?
232
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,533
OH, MY GOSH.
233
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,902
PULL UP YOUR BLOOMERS, PLEASE!
234
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,870
THESE AREN'T BLOOMERS,
THEY'RE UNDERPANTS...
235
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:28,339
OKAY, WELL, YOUR...
THEY SHOULD BE UNDER.
236
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:30,208
LOOK, OKAY.
237
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,310
I PICKED CAN YOU... IT OUT...
238
00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:34,779
IT LOOKED BETTER IN THE
CATALOG THAN IT DOES ON.
239
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,147
HEY, BIG BOY.
240
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,482
HEY, HEY, THERE, HEY.
241
00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:38,483
STICK OUT YOUR BOOB...
242
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:39,595
LOOK WHAT I'M DOING WITH MY LEG.
243
00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:40,652
I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
244
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:43,821
JUST DO A LITTLE HIP
ACTION, A LITTLE HIP ACTION.
245
00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:45,824
SEE THAT, SEE?
246
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:47,692
OH, SEE, IT'S WORKING.
247
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:48,993
HEY, BIG BOY. HEY.
248
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:50,327
GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES.
249
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:51,940
YOU WANT TO GO AROUND,
MAYBE A B.J. OR TWO?
250
00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:52,864
I'M ON MY DINNER BREAK.
251
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:55,533
NO, GO AHEAD... NO, GO AHEAD.
252
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:57,168
OKAY.
253
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:58,270
HAVE FUN.
254
00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,505
ALL RIGHT, THANKS.
255
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:03,407
I'LL BE... I'LL SEE
YA IN A FEW, OKAY.
256
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,610
HEY, HOW YOU DOING?
257
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,278
HAVE FUN, YOU TWO.
258
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,591
BYE, TRUDY...
259
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:09,615
WEAR YOUR SEAT BELT.
260
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:11,215
I MEAN, BUNNY.
261
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:14,452
HEY, I DON'T NEED YOUR SASS.
262
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,754
I'LL JUST BE HERE!
263
00:09:16,856 --> 00:09:18,189
OR NOT!
264
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:20,725
I MIGHT BE GIVING
A B.J. SOMEWHERE!
265
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,160
1300 HOURS.
266
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:24,729
THIS IS LIEUTENANT
JAMES DANGLE ON PATROL.
267
00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:28,667
I AM ON THE LOOKOUT
FOR ILLEGAL FIREWORKS.
268
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:34,239
THIS GUY'S FLAGGING
ME DOWN OVER HERE.
269
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:36,474
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
270
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,856
HI. HI.
271
00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:39,210
HOW YOU DOING TODAY? I'M FINE.
272
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,812
UH, I'M SORRY...
273
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,080
ARE YOU HAVING SOME TROUBLE?
274
00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:43,301
YES.
275
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,951
I-I... MY DOG... I LOST
MY DOG TWO DAYS AGO.
276
00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:47,252
OH, YOU GOT A LOST DOG THERE.
277
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:48,820
OH, JEEZ.
278
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,154
OH, MAN, HE'S REALLY CUTE.
279
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,490
HE'S SUCH A CUTIE PIE.
280
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,592
WHAT IS... WHAT
KIND OF DOG IS THAT?
281
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,027
WELL, IT'S A MIX BREED.
282
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,628
HE WON, ACTUALLY, FIRST PRIZE
283
00:09:57,731 --> 00:09:58,875
AT "NUTS FOR MUTTS" THIS YEAR...
284
00:09:58,899 --> 00:09:59,797
DID HE REALLY?
285
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,443
"NUTS FOR MUTTS,"
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?
286
00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:03,868
IT'S HALF PEKINGESE
AND HALF DACHSHUND.
287
00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:05,036
I WANT TO EAT HIM UP.
288
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:07,071
REBEL?!
289
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:08,539
REBEL.
290
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:09,808
THAT'S A WONDERFUL NAME.
291
00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:11,242
THAT'S A WONDERFUL DOG NAME.
292
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:14,478
HE'S BASED ON A... I NAMED
HIM AFTER THE MOVIE.
293
00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:17,314
"REBEL..."
294
00:10:17,416 --> 00:10:20,518
"SERPICO," 'CAUSE HE'S A REBEL.
295
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,720
I THOUGHT IN "SERPICO"
HIS NAME IS PACO?
296
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:27,553
UM...
297
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,707
CAN I SAY SOMETHING? SURE.
298
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,195
SURE. CAN I BE FRANK?
299
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,129
ARE YOU FRANK?
300
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:32,231
I NEVER ASKED YOUR NAME.
301
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:33,331
I'M SORRY, I AM FRANK.
302
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,198
YOU ARE FRANK.
303
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,467
OH, MY GOD, THAT'S SO FUNNY,
304
00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:36,901
BECAUSE I'M JIM.
305
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,003
OH... UH...
306
00:10:42,675 --> 00:10:44,408
REBEL?! REBEL?!
307
00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:45,843
REBEL, REBEL...
308
00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:47,678
OH, THAT'S A DAVID
BOWIE SONG. WAIT, STOP.
309
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:51,248
NO.
310
00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:52,417
NO, THOSE ARE FLOWERS.
311
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:53,519
[blaring car alarm]
312
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,086
EXCUSE ME!
313
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:56,553
SIR?
314
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,356
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
315
00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:00,457
HEY! HEY!
316
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,261
DID YOU BREAK THIS WINDOW OUT?
317
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:04,562
WHAT?
318
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,764
I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK
YOU TO PUT THAT BRICK DOWN.
319
00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:09,000
DID YOU USE THAT BRICK
TO BREAK OUT THAT WINDOW?
320
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,568
NOPE.
321
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,590
I DON'T NEED A BRICK IF
WANT TO BREAK A WINDOW.
322
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,472
NOW, DID YOU BREAK THE WINDOW?
323
00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:16,708
HAVE YOU BEEN SNIFFING GAS?
324
00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:20,945
OKAY!
325
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:25,483
YOU SEE THAT?
326
00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,665
GO RUN FROM THE POLICE
AND KNOCK YOUR OWN SELF OUT.
327
00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:28,820
RIGHT. IDIOT.
328
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:29,922
GIRL, WAIT A MINUTE.
329
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,022
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
330
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,423
HELP ME GET UP ON THIS THING.
331
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,225
THIS LOOK DANGEROUS.
332
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:37,495
IT'S PRETTY STEADY...
THERE YOU GO.
333
00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:39,363
OH!
334
00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:41,332
OH, WHOA!
335
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:44,369
[clattering]
336
00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:47,772
[man] HELLO, HELLO,
HELLO, HELLO!
337
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,708
ALL RIGHT, YOU ARE
OBSTRUCTING JUSTICE, SIR!
338
00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:51,709
GET BACK...
339
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:54,011
THAT FEELS GOOD,
THAT FEELS GOOD!
340
00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:55,847
WHOA, WHOA!
341
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:58,215
[hooting]
342
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,117
YOU BETTER HOPE I
DON'T CATCH YOU, BOY!
343
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:03,254
YOU BETTER HOPE I
DON'T CATCH UP WITH YOU!
344
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:04,522
DON'T TOUCH!
345
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:06,491
DON'T YOU GET IN THAT CAR!
346
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:08,793
DO NOT THINK ABOUT IT!
347
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,728
HEY, HEY, HEY!
348
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:15,499
[blaring sirens]
349
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:17,802
WE ARE SCREWED. WE ARE SCREWED.
350
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,604
WE ARE SCREWED.
351
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:22,206
WE GONNA SAY HE
TRIED TO RAPE US.
352
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:23,586
WE GONNA LIE.
353
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:25,443
WE GONNA SAY HE
TRIED TO RAPE US.
354
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:27,978
[panting]
355
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,360
HE ATTACKED US.
356
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,916
HE TRIED TO R...
357
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:35,053
HAND OVER THE TAPE.
358
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:36,888
GIVE US THE TAPE.
359
00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:38,922
HAND OVER THE...
GIVE US THAT TAPE!
360
00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:40,657
I WILL CUT YOU!
361
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:43,561
OOP.
362
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,363
♪ POP GOES THE WEASEL ♪
363
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,131
THIS LOOKS LIKE AMERICAN CHEESE.
364
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,801
WHAT SIZE SHOE DO
YOU WEAR THERE?
365
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:53,071
I HAVE A... 10½,
366
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:55,673
BUT I'LL TELL YA, I'M
BUSTING OUT OF IT.
367
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,842
I'M BUSTING OUT OF MY SNEAKERS.
368
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,345
OPEN UP CHOO-CHOO TRAIN.
369
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,113
[imitating train]
370
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:02,914
WHOO-WHOO!
371
00:13:03,015 --> 00:13:04,115
WHOO-WHOO!
372
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:07,184
WATCH ME, I'LL TURN
ON A REAL SIREN, WATCH.
373
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,454
OH, NO, THAT'S A LIGHT.
374
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,889
SO, YOU DON'T THINK
IT'S TOO BIG, RIGHT?
375
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:16,894
I DON'T... I...
376
00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:18,162
THE NOSE? NO.
377
00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:20,364
NO, NO, IT'S VERY, UH...
378
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:24,435
UH... ROMAN.
379
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:26,871
♪ WHEN IN ROME ♪
380
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:29,139
♪ WHEN IN ROME ♪
381
00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:31,242
"WHEN IN ROME"...
IS THAT A SONG?
382
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:32,977
I'M JUST FLAT-OUT
DRUNK, I THINK.
383
00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:40,118
SIR? HEY, PEEK-A-BOO.
384
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:41,419
HI.
385
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,065
WHAT ARE YOU DOING PLAYING
HIDE-AND-SEEK TONIGHT?
386
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:45,856
WHY ARE YOU HIDING BEHIND
A GIGANTIC SPOOL, SIR?
387
00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:47,325
I'M GOOD, I'M GOOD.
388
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:48,225
YOU'RE GOOD?
389
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,161
HOLY [BLEEP]! HOLY
MOTHER OF GOD!
390
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,543
OH, MY GOD!
391
00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:52,871
WELL, WELL.
392
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:54,499
WHOA... HEY, HO, HO, HO...
393
00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:56,501
HEY, PETER PAN, TAKE IT EASY!
394
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:57,668
WHOA, WHOA!
395
00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:58,981
GET HIM, JONES!
396
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,338
SIR, SLOW DOWN.
397
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,639
WE'RE GONNA NEED BACKUP,
WE'RE GONNA NEED BACKUP.
398
00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:05,743
WE GOT A NAKED WHITE
MAN, UH, RUNNING...
399
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,579
HEY, DON'T DO THAT!
400
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:08,681
HE JUST FLIPPED US OFF!
401
00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:10,147
SON OF A BITCH!
402
00:14:10,249 --> 00:14:12,082
[muttering]
403
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,684
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TOUCH HIM.
404
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:15,419
HEY, HEY, HO, HO, HO...
405
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:16,699
SLOW DOWN, SIR!
406
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:19,057
OH, SON OF A BITCH!
407
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:20,525
SON OF A BITCH!
408
00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,793
WHEE-OO!
409
00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:23,895
GODDAMN IT.
410
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:24,895
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT.
411
00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:26,317
I THOUGHT YOU HAD
SPEED, BROTHER.
412
00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:29,867
[Wiegel] I ENJOY FIREWORKS.
413
00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:32,070
I ACTUALLY HAVE...
414
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:35,072
IF I HAVE AN ADDICTION
TO ANYTHING,
415
00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:37,141
IT'S SPARKLERS.
416
00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:41,412
UM... YOU KNOW,
ROUND COME 4th OF JULY,
417
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:44,415
UH, YOU'RE GONNA
FIND ME, YOU KNOW,
418
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,384
TAKING SPARKLER OFF A PERP,
419
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:47,685
GIVING HIM A TICKET,
420
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:49,598
AND THEN I'M GONNA GO IN
MY BACKYARD WITH MY CATS
421
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,823
AND WE'RE GONNA PUT ON A SHOW.
422
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,824
I DON'T WANT THAT ONE.
423
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:55,567
DID YOU JUST THROW
THAT OUT THE WINDOW?
424
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:59,130
I DON'T WANT IT.
425
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,409
WELL, PICK IT UP.
426
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:01,766
NO.
427
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:03,934
WHY, IS SOMEONE GONNA ARREST ME?
428
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:10,975
NOPE, I ALREADY GOT YOU.
429
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:12,443
DON'T EVEN TRY IT.
430
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,811
PUT IT BACK.
431
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:14,645
ALL RIGHT.
432
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:15,748
LEAVE IT ALONE, OKAY?
433
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:17,281
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
434
00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:19,750
SLOW... AND...
435
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:22,920
[laughing]
436
00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:24,155
YEAH.
437
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:28,359
WELL, WE GOT A 10-19
CALL FOR TRESPASSING.
438
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:30,828
THERE IS NO PARKING,
THERE'S NO CAMPING,
439
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:35,166
THERE'S NO, UH, STAYING
FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME.
440
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:37,902
WE GOT A CALL ABOUT...
WELL, THERE IT IS.
441
00:15:38,004 --> 00:15:40,004
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIGURE OUT
442
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,283
WHAT THE HELL HE'S
DOING OUT HERE.
443
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:43,975
USUALLY, THEY'RE DRINKIN'
AND READING PORNO.
444
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:45,710
OH, WHERE'S ALL
YOUR CUSTOMERS, SIR?
445
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,211
I DON'T, UH...
446
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:49,058
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU'RE
DOING ANY BUSINESS OUT HERE.
447
00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:51,115
YOU SERVING GOPHERS AND, UH...
448
00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:56,821
[speaking foreign language]
449
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:57,988
NO.
450
00:15:58,090 --> 00:15:59,190
NO, NO, NO.
451
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,792
UH... WOW.
452
00:16:00,894 --> 00:16:02,894
WE GOT A FUNNY-LOOKING
VAN HERE, DON'T WE?
453
00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:04,228
GOLLY, LOOK AT THAT.
454
00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:06,897
YOU GOT ALL THESE "NO SMOKING"
SIGNS ON YOUR ICE CREAM TRUCK.
455
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:09,066
YOU GOT, UH, "NO SMOKING" HERE,
456
00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:10,668
AND "NO SMOKING" OVER HERE,
457
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:14,672
AND "NO... WHOA,
WE GOT A RUNNER!
458
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,673
THERE WE GO, THERE WE GO.
459
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:19,310
[shouting in foreign language]
460
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:21,612
WHOA, HO, HO, CALM
DOWN, CALM DOWN.
461
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,748
YOU GOTTA LEARN NOT TO RUN, SIR.
462
00:16:23,849 --> 00:16:25,916
WATCH YOUR HEAD. COME ON, SIR.
463
00:16:26,018 --> 00:16:27,451
GET IN!
464
00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:28,786
GET IN, SIR, DON'T FIGHT HIM.
465
00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:30,087
OH! HE'S KICKING ME!
466
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,488
HE'S KICKING ME!
467
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:34,625
SIR, I WILL NOT HESITATE
TO BEAT YOUR ASS
468
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:36,060
WITH YOUR OWN SHOE!
469
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,561
SETTLE DOWN!
470
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,363
WHAT YOU GOT IN HERE?
471
00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:41,031
OH!
472
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:43,835
KUNG PAO, BOK CHOY, JONES!
473
00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:47,104
WE JUST HIT THE
CHINA-MAN GOLD MINE.
474
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:48,839
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
475
00:16:48,942 --> 00:16:50,407
BOY, THIS WOULD
MAKE A PARTY FUN.
476
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,576
THAT'LL BLOW YOUR
BALLS TO HELL RIGHT THERE,
477
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:53,955
IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL.
478
00:16:53,979 --> 00:16:55,512
WE GOT A LOT OF FIREWORKS...
479
00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:58,315
ILLEGAL FIREWORKS HERE,
UP IN WAUSAU CANYON,
480
00:16:58,418 --> 00:16:59,550
SO WE'RE GONNA NEED BACKUP.
481
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:00,784
IT'S JONES AND GARCIA HERE.
482
00:17:00,886 --> 00:17:02,886
HOW OLD DO I LOOK?
HOW OLD DO I LOOK?
483
00:17:02,988 --> 00:17:04,588
HOW OLD DO I LOOK?
484
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:10,894
I DON'T KNOW.
485
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,997
I DON'T WANT... IF I
GO... IF I GO TOO HIGH...
486
00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:14,843
YOU GO LOW, YOU'RE GONNA
OFFEND ME EITHER WAY.
487
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,011
I OFFEND YOU IF I GO TOO LOW?
488
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,002
UH, DAMNED IF YOU DO,
DAMNED IF YOU DON'T,
489
00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:19,384
YOU KNOW?
490
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,307
YOU'RE A HANDSOME...
491
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:24,308
YOU WANT TO SEE HOW OLD I AM?
492
00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:25,721
I WOULD LOVE TO
SEE HOW OLD YOU ARE.
493
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,089
OH, SURE, YOU CAN
TAKE MY WHOLE WALLET.
494
00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:28,379
HERE, LOOK, IT'S RIGHT THERE.
495
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:29,625
JUST TAKE A LOOK,
IT'S RIGHT THERE.
496
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,916
SEE RIGHT THERE HOW OLD I AM.
497
00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:35,720
[imitating fanfare]
498
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,622
AND THE WINNER IS YOU.
499
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,457
LUCKY 41.
500
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:40,736
YOU GOT A LOT OF
STUFF ON THAT BELT.
501
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,161
YOU GOT, UH... YOU DON'T
JUST HAVE THE WALLET.
502
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,161
NO, I GOT THAT...
503
00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:45,996
YOU HAVE A... WHAT IS THAT?
504
00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:46,931
IS THAT A GUN?
505
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,073
IS THERE A NAME FOR THAT?
506
00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:49,733
YEAH, IT'S A GLOCK.
507
00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:51,969
OH, DO YOU CARRY
THE... YOU CARRY MACE?
508
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,415
OF COURSE I CARRY
MACE, I CARRY EVERYTHING.
509
00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:54,683
I CARRY GUN CLIPS, I CARRY MACE.
510
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:55,806
WOW.
511
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,641
THIS CAN KNOCK SOMEBODY OUT.
512
00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,243
THIS CAN PUT SOMEBODY DOWN.
513
00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:01,312
THAT'S THE BEST THING
WE PROBABLY CARRY.
514
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,347
YEAH, WHAT DO YOU DO,
JUST PRESS IT LIKE THAT?
515
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:04,214
YEAH, EXACTLY...
516
00:18:04,316 --> 00:18:05,427
YOU JUST HOLD
IT UP AND YOU GO...
517
00:18:05,451 --> 00:18:11,055
[screaming and crying]
518
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,559
OH, MY [beep] WALLET.
519
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:23,968
[whining]
520
00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:27,338
OW... OH, OW, OW.
521
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,206
HEY, HEY! OW, OW!
522
00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:31,575
[sobbing]
523
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:37,415
YEAH, MAN.
524
00:18:37,483 --> 00:18:38,803
YEAH, I DO FEEL GOOD ABOUT THIS.
525
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:39,984
THIS IS GREAT.
526
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:42,353
YOU KNOW, THE STREETS
OF RENO ARE A LOT SAFER
527
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,988
BECAUSE OF WHAT WE DID TODAY.
528
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:45,623
BECAUSE OF WHAT
OUR ACCOMPLISHMENT
529
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:48,058
OF WHAT WE DID IN RENO,
WE MADE THE STREETS
530
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:50,061
THAT MUCH BETTER FOR IT.
531
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:53,030
[exploding]
532
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,932
THIS [bleep] AIN'T FUNNY, MAN!
533
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,478
OH, YOU WANT TO
GO? YOU WANT TO GO?
534
00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:57,982
GET ME A LIGHTER,
GIVE ME A LIGHTER.
535
00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:59,582
OH, YOU WANT TO
GO WITH JONESY, HUH?
536
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:01,049
YOU WANT TO GO A
ROUND WITH JONESY?
537
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:02,184
LET'S GO!
538
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:04,141
LET'S GO MOTHER...
[beep] LET'S GO!
539
00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:08,445
[popping fireworks]
540
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:09,548
[whistling rockets]
541
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:11,915
[laughing]
542
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:18,657
THERE YOU GO.
543
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:22,325
[cheering]
544
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:25,196
OH, MAN, THIS IS GOOD TIMES.
545
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:29,033
[all shouting at once]
546
00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:30,434
OH [beep]
547
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:32,036
I HIT THE TRUCK!
I HIT THE TRUCK!
548
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:33,971
I HIT THE TRUCK! GO, GO, GO!
549
00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:36,206
I HIT IT, I HIT IT, GET
DOWN, GET DOWN!
550
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:37,385
WHAT'D YOU HIT?
551
00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:38,721
I HIT THE TRUCK WITH
A BOTTLE ROCKET.
552
00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:41,245
HOLY COW. OH, PLEASE.
553
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:44,915
[shouting]
554
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:49,954
[whistling and popping]
555
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:56,327
[all talking at once]
556
00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:57,572
OH, MY GOD!
557
00:19:57,596 --> 00:19:59,563
OH, BOY, DANGLE.
558
00:19:59,665 --> 00:20:01,432
I'M OUT OF HERE.
559
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,300
I DON'T KNOW YA, NEVER DID.
560
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,536
OH, MAN. WOW.
561
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,171
I THINK WE CAN SAVE IT
562
00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:08,639
[Dangle] NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
563
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:13,277
CAN WE GET THE FIRE
DEPARTMENT DOWN HERE?
564
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:14,845
[screeching tires]
565
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:16,680
[crashing]
566
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:17,893
WHAT?! WHAT?!
567
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:19,282
WHAT ON EARTH?
568
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:21,619
HEY... YOU DON'T...
HEY, I DON'T NEED THAT.
569
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:22,453
I DON'T NEED THAT.
570
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:23,554
LOOK... LOOK, I...
571
00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:24,633
YOU DON'T KNOW ME, ALL RIGHT?
572
00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:26,790
HE'S GOT AN APPARATUS
STRAPPED TO HIS HEAD!
573
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,172
YOU DON'T KNOW ME!
574
00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:29,427
LOOK, THERE'S A CHICK HERE
575
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:31,262
THAT'S BEEN STEALING
ALL MY CLOTHES.
576
00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:33,097
THIS TAKES 30
SECONDS TO TAKE OFF.
577
00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:34,309
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
578
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:35,543
ALL I HAVE TO DO
IS JUST TAKE IT OFF.
579
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:36,611
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
580
00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:38,368
I JUST TAKE THIS
OFF, IT'S JUST OFF,
581
00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:40,938
AND THEN I'M NAKED, YOU KNOW?
582
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,184
I'M JUST STANDING THERE NAKED.
583
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:44,609
AND THEN I GOT, LIKE,
HALF A SONG LEFT.
584
00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:45,776
I GIVE UP! I'M SORRY!
585
00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:47,010
I DIDN'T MEAN TO BREAK IN.
586
00:20:47,112 --> 00:20:48,312
[shooting]
587
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,381
WIEGEL! WIEGEL!
588
00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:53,918
I DID IT... I DID SOMETHING!
589
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,185
[laughing]
590
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:57,020
U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
591
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:07,297
YOU KNOW, ALL IT IS IS STAY AWAY
592
00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:08,766
FROM MY [beep] TAMALES.
593
00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:10,568
WATCH THE LANGUAGE!
594
00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:13,637
AND SECOND OF ALL, LET'S
THINK OF ANOTHER WORD.
595
00:21:13,739 --> 00:21:15,406
STAY AWAY FROM MY...
596
00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:16,973
[Wiegel] POPCORN.
597
00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:18,354
NO, WE'RE NOT
REPLACING THE TAMALES,
598
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:19,677
WE'RE REPLACING THE F-WORD,
599
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,512
BECAUSE WE DON'T SAY THE F-WORD
600
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,648
WHEN WE'RE SERVING
AND PROTECTING.
601
00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:25,449
OKAY. WE DON'T SAY THE F-WORD.
602
00:21:25,551 --> 00:21:27,684
WHAT ABOUT [beep]?
603
00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:29,853
Captions made possible
by COMEDY CENTRAL
604
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,655
Captioned by Soundwriters™
39365
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof