Original subtitles

DARK, DRAMATIC MUSIC

LOW RUMBLING

WHOOSHING

ZAP

MUSIC CONTINUES

EVIL CACKLING ECHOES

YAWNS

Tim.

Tim.

Tim! GRUNTS

Oh, no.

He's still alive. UTENSILS CLATTER

What's going on?

We'd planned to eat you for breakfast.

We're not your breakfast.

Yeah, we're Badjelly's breakfast.

We're not breakfast full stop. And we're not rats.

We're all not what we look like, it seems.

You're not rats?

Technically, no. We're tools.

Yeah. Badjelly turned us into rats.

I was a very sturdy saw.

Hammer over here.

Allen key.

But, you know, you can call me Allen.

Why would she do that? Because she messed up

making a build-it-yourself bedside cabinet.

Well, as nice as it is to meet you,

our cow Lucy is depending on us. We've got to get out of here.

Ha! Good luck.

We've been trapped in Badjelly's castle for ages.

This place is a maze. There's no way out.

And no snacks.

Which is why, sadly, we were going to eat ya.

Soz.

Tim. The window.

You know, if we had some tools,

we could probably break through that grate.

But we can't do that... CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY

..can we?

Hey, if you guys are secretly talking about us,

I am not picking up on it.

Wait. Deep down, we're still the tools we always were.

What do you reckon, guys? You ready to be put to good use?

SAWING, CLATTERING

So many... dancing head lice.

THUNK

Ooh, my feet are getting bigger.

What? I don't remember ordering the minions

to build a new torture turret.

Oh, I kind of regret offering our services.

I was so wrong.

My teeth definitely aren't as strong as metal still.

Now, that is what I call teamwork.

And, uh, I know you said you didn't need me,

but are you sure you don't need an Allen key for anything?

Maybe I could tighten the screws on that bed frame.

Um, no, I think we're OK.

Come on, Allen. Let's get going.

We'll find some loose screws outside.

So, where are you off to?

We'll scramble up to the gutters, hop into a drainpipe

and water-slide straight out of here.

How about you?

I guess we're climbing down.

Good luck. You can do it.

And always remember - lefty loosey, righty tighty.

We will.

Well, whatever that means.

All right. You go first. I'll lower you down.

GRUNTS

GRUNTS Shh!

The children have escaped!

GASPS Aah!

And the screws on that bed frame

clearly haven't been tightened for years.

GRUMBLES

Dulboot!

Oi! Oh, yes, Badjelly. Yep. Coming. Ooh! Sorry.

Coming, Badjelly. Oh...

Oh! Hold on.

EXCLAIMS Whoa! I can't!

Rose! Whoa!

Aah! GRUNTING

Where are the children

you were supposed to be guarding?

Ooh, ooh. Are we playing hide and seek?

Oh, I love this game!

Did you check under the bed?

CLUNK

They're obviously not hiding under the bed.

OK, OK. Uh, what about... What about...

What about under the bed? No! I keep saying "under the bed".

You fell asleep on the job, and now my breakfast is gone.

Yeah, sorry. Yeah. Yeah, it's been a tiring few days,

you know, what with all the constantly being shouted at.

They can't have got far on those tiny, delicious legs.

Quit gawping and go and find them.

Oh, yep, on it.

And if you're not back by sundown,

I'll throw your things in the nearest volcano. So there!

My things? What are you on about?

I don't have any things.

Exactly. And if you're not careful, it'll stay that way.

Now, go on, then. Get out of my sight, you towering twit!

I can't believe we're really inside Jim the Eagle's nest.

Oh, there's Jim's sofa perch.

There's Jim's coffee table. Oh, my goodness.

Jim's throw cushions.

Oh, look at us.

Cheek to cheek.

Ugh, gross.

So you're a big fan of this guy, then?

Of the heroic Jim the Eagle,

defender of the Dark Forest,

defeater of Badjelly the Witch?

Uh, yeah, I'd say so.

I've been writing to him since I was this tall.

GASPS

I made that.

JIM: No way.

MAJESTIC MUSIC

You... framed it.

Oh, yes. It's nice to remember the good times.

May I offer anyone a seed?

Hey.

This is old school.

You wear this?

Not any more.

If you're waiting for the right occasion,

you're in luck, my friend/hero.

It's time to strap that helmet back on,

because Badjelly's back,

and you need to defeat her.

Action, adventure, sweet, sweet revenge -

why, that sounds like something

I don't want any part of, thank you.

Great. So all we need to do is head for the castle and...

Wait. What?

I'm not a hero any more.

Look what she did to me.

It's like a used feather duster, hanging there, useless.

But you defeated her. You can do it again.

I know you can. You're a hero.

I'm telling you, I'm no hero.

And I don't want anyone to see me like this.

I want them to remember me how I used to be.

Plus, my schedule is packed. I'm extremely busy.

Doing what? Pottery.

Sure, it all leans to the left because of...

But it's my passion, you know? It's...

Uh, Binklebonk, Rusty, may I speak with you for a moment?

Oh. Excuse us.

Well, this is a disaster.

Maybe we got the wrong Jim the Eagle.

He's not the wrong guy. Look, Jim is a natural-born hero.

He can't resist saving people.

We just have to hook him back in. Give him a taste.

Look, I've got an idea.

Oh, no!

I... I'm about to fall out of this nest.

Be careful.

Ooh, I'm right on the edge.

Don't do that.

I'm falling. I'm busy.

If only someone would save me, because I am...

about to...

SIGHS Look, this vase isn't going to throw itself.

Well, I've committed to it now.

Waah!

So, that didn't work.

I heard there's a pomegranate

that was turned into a powerful ostrich

on the other side of the Dark Forest.

Maybe they're the hero you need.

TIM: Whoa! Oh, my gosh!

WHISPERS: Oh! Shh! Keep it down.

He'll hear us. THUNDEROUS FOOTSTEPS

Ew! Gross. I've got gum in my hair.

Massive giant gum. FOOTSTEPS FADE

He stopped walking.

What do you think he's doing out there?

Giant stuff, probably.

Marauding. Pillaging.

Squashing cute critters. Scary bad-guy things.

BIRDS TWITTER

DULBOOT: Oh, look. First of the season.

Wish I was a lovely little flower,

not a big, dumb giant.

COBBLESTONE: Big and giant definitely. But dumb no, sir.

Oh, it's you again. Jugglebone.

Cobblestone. Oh, yeah, that's what I said, I think, yeah.

No worries. It wasn't too far off, actually.

Someone once called me Jort.

I mean, I don't even know how you get that from Cobblestone.

People are strange. So, enjoying nature, yeah?

SIGHS It's always good to stop and smell the flowers

when you're not doing someone else's evil bidding all day.

Well, I actually sort of am in the middle of doing

Badjelly's evil bidding,

but, you know, I'm allowed a small break now and then,

so that's nice. Are you?

Nah. I was kidding. I was joking. Dunno why.

What if we were to take that massive frown,

throw it on the ground, turn it upside down

and slap it back on your face? Please do not do that.

Oh, I have got just the thing

to put a smile on that big old mountain-sized head.

Oh, it sounds like he's talking to somebody.

We should try and escape while he's distracted.

Why bother? Even if we somehow manage to climb out,

he's got heaps of eyes, and he's a bajillion feet tall.

He'll spot us right away.

Rose, I'm scared.

Oh, Tim, I'm scared too. But I'm your big sister,

so I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you...

except for maybe getting gross gum stuck to your head.

Now, if we're going to make a break for it,

we need to know what Dulboot's doing.

Look at that tear in the fabric.

If we could get up there, we could see what's going on.

This looks like a job for the six-time winner

of the Milligan's Bite Extreme Tree Climbing Championship.

Aside from the fact that you invented

that competition and make your own trophies out of tinfoil,

you can't climb anything with a broken arm.

I bet I could climb...

a big sister tree. CHUCKLES

Now, that's a good idea.

GRUNTS

Oh, so who's he talking to? What are they up to?

Um...

He's talking to another giant made of rocks,

and they're knitting each other scarves

and talking about their feelings.

Right. Any other day, I would assume you were making that up.

No, no, no. It's knit, then purl.

I didn't know you could use knitting needles for knitting.

I thought they were just for making hamster kebabs.

I don't even like hamster kebabs, if I'm honest.

I'm actually vegetarian. Hey, what do you like to eat?

Well, dunno. Don't really matter anyway.

Badjelly doesn't actually care what I like.

Ooh! Let's roast marshmallows. GASPS

Wow.

He seems so sad. Badjelly's super horrible to him too.

If she treats her own henchmen like that,

what's she doing to Lucy?

And Dulboot doesn't even have a sister to talk about it with.

Hey, I'm sorry for getting all "despairingy" before.

That's OK. Everyone gets "despairingy" sometimes.

After our friends abandoned us,

I felt like we were totally on our own.

But we're not. Why? Is there someone in here with us?

No, we're not on our own

because we've got each other.

Oh, yeah. CHUCKLES

But also, yes. There's a dust bunny standing right behind you.

Oh, sorry. Don't mind me. LAUGHS

I'm just a cute little rabbit

made of skin flakes and giant dandruff. Ha!

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Ugh. Eugh.

OK, let's get out of here.

What about Lucy? We can't leave her at the castle.

Yeah, you're right. He's walked us miles away,

and it doesn't seem like he's going back any time soon.

SIGHS

So, that's it, is it? You're done with being a hero, then?

It's all over. Finito.

Yep. But what about Tim and Rose?

Tim and Rose. Sounds like a brand of mop or broom.

They're our friends.

Badjelly captured them.

Oh, dear. I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry, save them.

I can't. What if she shrinks my other wing?

I'd look like a stupid chicken.

You weren't legendary because of your wings;

it was your courage to stand up against bullies like Badjelly,

who pick on those in need.

Well, friend, I'm afraid she shrunk my courage too.

I'm just not that guy any more.

We need a new plan.

Ooh. What if we make a new big wing out of metal, like me?

Aside from the metal bit, a new big wing is a great idea.

Binklebonk, your grow spell.

No, no, I... I... I don't think so.

Let's try something else.

No, it's a great idea. Then he'll have to help us.

Remember what happened on the boat?

I mean, what if it goes wrong again?

No. What if it goes...

not wrong?

Oh, don't tell me that you're worried about

embarrassing yourself in front of... that guy.

CLUCKS

Nope. No way.

So what if he's the inspiration for my whole entire life?

I don't care what he thinks.

Just found a piece of corn. Things are looking up.

I love him.

Binklebonk, you have to do this for Rose and Tim.

SIGHS You're right. I'll do it for myself.

PENSIVE MUSIC

Wing. Wing.

One, two, three.

What's he doing?

Please grow very...

big for me.

MAGICAL MUSIC

Whoa, whoa! What's happening? I'm...

I'm...

evenly winged.

You did it!

This is incredible. I'm like a majestic plane.

I feel like I can do anything.

Like rescue the children and beat Badjelly the Witch?

100%

not that.

I meant more like make the straightest pottery

the world has ever seen.

Are you picturing it? I know I am.

OK, what are they doing?

They're eating marshmallows that grow on trees.

OK, now you're making stuff up.

These... are delicious.

Yeah. Don't you have marshmallow trees at home?

No, no, the only food growing on the trees in the castle

are apples that scream when you bite 'em. It's harrowing.

Anyway, that's enough about my perfect life with Badjelly.

How are things with you?

Uh, you changed my world, bro.

I mean, since you told me to stop serving other people

and start living for myself, every day has been magical.

I've written four novels. I've started meal-prepping.

And I'm actually dating a pretty great gal.

She's playing it cool, but she's definitely into me.

Anyway, how about you? How's it going for Big Dully B?

Uh, I don't know who that is.

It's you, Dulboot. Come on, cloth ears.

CHUCKLES Dully B - Dulboot. I'm asking how you're doing.

Me? Ah!

Oh, no, I'm fine.

No, everything's been extremely, awfully, horribly fine.

Are you sure, buddy? SHE CHUCKLES

Cos your mouth said "fine", but all your eyes said was...

"Aargh.

"Oh, no. I'm not fine." SHE CHUCKLES

Perhaps Badjelly has been a smidge hard on me lately.

Nothing... Nothing, no, really.

Well, as an example,

what is, like, the last thing she made you do?

Ooh, last thing. Last thing.

Well, you know, she did ask me to kidnap some children

so she could cook and eat them. Ooh, now I say it back...

Grim.

Between you and me,

this relationship sounds like a big red flag.

A big red flag with a little guy standing on top of that flag,

waving another flag

that is also red.

Oh, yeah, no, you're right. But, you know, what can I do?

Only you can answer that question.

You have to listen to your inner voice.

Listen to my inner voice. OK. I'll try. Here we go.

Quick, roll up that big stamp.

DEEPLY: This is your inner voice speaking.

Go back to the castle.

Ooh! Ooh! I hear it!

I've gotta go back to the castle, apparently,

and tell Badjelly I'm not gonna do her evil bidding any more.

Cor, I can't believe I heard it.

Yeah, you do.

Thank you, you know, for everything.

What a nice person.

Oop! CHUCKLES

Don't worry, sweetie. I got it. I got it.

It worked. Yes!

DEEPLY: And pop one of those giant marshmallows

in your pocket.

Ah. Perfectly balanced.

Now it leans to the left and to the right.

Are you really telling us that you wanna stay here

making pots

instead of... making history?

And vases.

I never thought in all of my days I would utter these words.

But...

you, Jim,

are no hero of mine.

POIGNANT MUSIC

METALLIC CREAKING

WHOOSH

Mudwiggle, Rusty,

looks like we're going to have to save Tim and Rose ourselves.

Maybe it wasn't the lopsided wings

that were the problem after all.

Wait!

It just needs more water. That's it. CHUCKLES

Hang on.

Did I just say that we're going to save Tim and Rose ourselves,

you know, without any help from trained or qualified heroes?

Yes. It was very inspirational.

You showed that beaky poser what a real hero looks like.

Er, well, being a hero certainly involves a lot more

fear than I imagined.

Bravery isn't about not being scared,

it's about being scared and then doing something really stupid

despite all the warnings from your body and your brain.

You know, you two are the biggest tiny little heroes

I know.

And you're...

here too, so that's good.

Oh, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

Now, fellow heroes, it's time to save some children.

Just to be clear, I mean, Tim and Rose, of course.

THUNDEROUS FOOTSTEPS

Well, inner voice, erm, we're back at the castle.

So, once I've confronted Badjelly, made her respect me and all that,

what should I do next?

DEEPLY: Uh, then you should definitely rescue Lucy the cow.

Right, yeah. Rescue Lucy the cow.

Yep. Silly me. CHUCKLES Will do.

Yup. And carry her all the way back to Milligan's Bite.

Sounds good. Little walk into town. Why not?

And, uh, on the way,

you should pick some more flowers for Mum.

Uh, but my mum hates flowers.

That sounds... That doesn't sound like something my inner voice

would say.

Uh, it is. Everyone has weird thoughts sometimes.

And why is my inner voice in my pocket?

Shouldn't it be in my head?

Just have a little feel in the old pock-etto.

BOTH SCREAM

Ooh, it tickles. LAUGHS

No way. I finally caught the children.

How did...? How did I do that?

Unbelievable.

BADJELLY: Oh, look, here he is the big misshapen avocado.

Badjelly, I...

Shut it.

If I wanted to listen to a load of annoying whining,

I'd release that pixie choir from the dungeon.

Where are the children?

Before we get on to all that,

you know all the mean things you keep asking me to do? It's just...

Oi. Stinkypoo. Do you have the children?

It's just... I was thinking...

I don't really wanna do evil things any more.

# La, la, la-la-la Da, da, dee-dee-dee

# Bom, bom, bedoo, bedoo. #

WHISPERS: Where are

the children?

Erm...

..I don't know.

WARM MUSIC

Then go away

and don't even try to come back until you've found them.

I've locked all the doors.

I can't fit through the doors anyway.

Yes, but it's the principle.

If this balcony had doors, I'd slam them like this. Slam!

Thank you.

No, thank you, inner voice.

GRUNTS

What a time to find out you can't wink.

THUNDEROUS FOOTSTEPS

DISTANT MOOING

That was Lucy. What should we do, Rose?

As crazy as it sounds, we need to get back inside that castle.

DARK, DRAMATIC MUSIC

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