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1
00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:04,000
Good to be home, isn't it? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Hey...
2
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:07,879
Oh, Dad, you don't need to do this
every time you clean the sink.
3
00:00:07,919 --> 00:00:09,680
I know. I know.
I just thought I would
4
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:11,199
because I wanted to give you a...
5
00:00:11,239 --> 00:00:12,760
..surprise!
GEMMA GASPS
6
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:16,400
Surprise! Happy baby shower!
Oh, my God! Yeah.
7
00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,839
I did invite your mum but
she sent some very unkind memes
8
00:00:18,879 --> 00:00:21,120
by way of reply so...
Oh...
9
00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:24,199
Well, nothing's on fire,
like the last party you organised.
10
00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:26,279
Oh, come here, mate.
11
00:00:26,319 --> 00:00:27,559
You helped him with all this, right?
12
00:00:27,599 --> 00:00:29,040
Me? No. Oh, God!
13
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,760
Hello!
Look, look, look, look, look...
14
00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:33,000
Loads of pressies. Yeah.
15
00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:34,519
Look, and here's Catherine.
16
00:00:34,559 --> 00:00:36,720
Dad, it looks like she's died.
17
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:41,279
So, yeah, Derek sorted out
all the food. Aww!
18
00:00:41,319 --> 00:00:43,319
Roast beef dinner flavour.
One of my favourites.
19
00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:44,839
Oh, wow, that's actual baby food?
20
00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:47,279
Yeah. We're not just eating
actual baby food, are we?
21
00:00:47,319 --> 00:00:49,839
What else are we going to
eat at a baby shower?
22
00:00:49,879 --> 00:00:50,879
And there's... There's presents!
23
00:00:50,919 --> 00:00:52,760
Sit down, I'll get them for you.
Oh...
24
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,680
Sit down. Look, this one...
This is, er...
25
00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:58,599
This is from Baris. Ooh!
26
00:00:58,639 --> 00:01:01,959
Adult nappies.
Yeah, and, er...
27
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,040
And we're not Jewish.
28
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:04,279
Well, neither is he!
29
00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:06,480
Adult nappies are really handy,
post-birth.
30
00:01:06,519 --> 00:01:09,919
From me... Ooh, what's this, then?
31
00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:15,800
A Tia Maria and two water damaged
boxes of Calpol?
32
00:01:15,839 --> 00:01:19,000
Found those under the sink, at work
I thought, "Gemma'll like these."
33
00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,559
Could open it now?
Wet the baby's head?
34
00:01:21,599 --> 00:01:24,400
The Tia Maria, not the Calpol.
Although...
35
00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:27,319
..cheeky cocktail? Erm...
36
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,080
I just got to, erm...
37
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:30,440
There you go, Gemma, love.
38
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,559
Oh, thanks, Winnie!
39
00:01:33,599 --> 00:01:36,480
Aww! What a lovely dog toy.
40
00:01:36,519 --> 00:01:37,720
It's a baby toy. No.
41
00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:39,599
TOY SQUEAKS
It's a dog toy.
42
00:01:39,639 --> 00:01:41,480
No, baby toy.
43
00:01:41,519 --> 00:01:42,959
OK.
44
00:01:44,199 --> 00:01:45,639
Few essentials.
45
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,080
Boring but useful.
46
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,440
Babe, did you see the dog toy
and the menorah? Don't...
47
00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:53,760
I'm desperate for
"boring but useful."
48
00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:54,800
No Xander, by the way?
49
00:01:54,839 --> 00:01:56,480
I don't think so.
50
00:01:56,519 --> 00:01:59,480
I did invite him, though.
51
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:01,839
Don't think I've forgotten about
your birthday tomorrow, king.
52
00:02:01,879 --> 00:02:03,000
Don't make a fuss.
53
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:06,760
Malcolm, you and I need to have some
fun before this baby comes along and
54
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:11,639
ruins all our lives, OK, which is
why I have booked us an escape room.
55
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:15,800
I don't even know what that is.
What?! Really?
56
00:02:15,839 --> 00:02:18,599
Well, I bloody love them,
so happy birthday.
57
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,360
Right, get out of
the fucking way, Winnie.
58
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:24,879
What's this going to be, then?
59
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:31,800
It's a baby blanket.
60
00:02:31,839 --> 00:02:33,000
Oh, my God!
61
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:35,360
This is really lovely!
62
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,080
Always bossing the pressies.
63
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,720
Aww! Yeah.
64
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:44,080
Babe, check there's
nothing weird in or on this.
65
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,639
It's lovely, that.
66
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:46,879
Nope!
67
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,480
So, two weeks to go, eh?
68
00:02:50,519 --> 00:02:54,000
Yeah. And you've got all
the basics covered? Cot? Yep.
69
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,360
Pram? Yep. Oil for massaging Gemma's
perineum?
70
00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,160
Oh, well, we haven't
talked about that,
71
00:02:59,199 --> 00:03:01,919
but there's some Crisp 'N Dry
in the cupboard if she needs it.
72
00:03:01,959 --> 00:03:04,199
Listen, what time's this
escape room booked for?
73
00:03:04,239 --> 00:03:06,319
Cos I'm having a wart removed
in the morning - you know,
74
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,319
just as a birthday treat to myself.
75
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:12,080
No idea. All I know is that
they grab you off the street
76
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,199
and bundle you into a van.
77
00:03:14,239 --> 00:03:18,080
What, like a kidnapping?
Exactly...like a kidnapping.
78
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:20,279
It's themed on the film Taken.
79
00:03:20,319 --> 00:03:22,839
Yeah, but what...?
What if it's a real kidnapping
80
00:03:22,879 --> 00:03:25,919
and I don't fight back cos
I think it's the escape room thing.
81
00:03:25,959 --> 00:03:28,360
Well, that, my friend,,
is part of the thrill, isn't it?
82
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,040
You might think it's
the escape room guys,
83
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,279
whereas actually it's an old enemy
who wants to rip out your heart
84
00:03:32,319 --> 00:03:34,160
and shit in your chest cavity.
85
00:03:34,199 --> 00:03:37,400
Thankfully I haven't got any old
enemies who'd want to do that.
86
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:38,639
What about your ex-wife?
87
00:03:40,319 --> 00:03:41,519
Oh, fuck...
88
00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:46,680
So which lucky tosser did you pick
as your birth partner in the end?
89
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,519
Malcolm?
Oh, God, no, can you imagine?
90
00:03:49,559 --> 00:03:51,959
No-one wants their dad catching
a glimpse of the business end.
91
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,279
Hmm...
92
00:03:53,319 --> 00:03:56,919
Oh, remind me, I need to
pick up his birthday cake.
93
00:03:56,959 --> 00:04:00,040
Do you think he'd like me
to jump out of it, semi-naked?
94
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:01,760
Cake's about this big.
95
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,199
I could hide a boob in there?
96
00:04:04,239 --> 00:04:05,959
Who IS going to be
your birth partner?
97
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,360
Cherry's the natural choice,
but she's got the kids.
98
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,680
I keep telling her, Winnie -
pick me. Pick me!
99
00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:13,440
I'd be amazing, Gemma.
100
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:17,400
I was once held hostage
in an embassy and I thrived.
101
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,080
Absolutely thrived
under those conditions.
102
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,040
You can't make a diamond
without intense pressure.
103
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:26,199
Fine. If Cherry's not available,
you can do it.
104
00:04:26,239 --> 00:04:28,160
Look, Winnie, you might not
see me for a while now.
105
00:04:28,199 --> 00:04:29,959
I go on maternity leave
on Monday.
106
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,639
I've got a lovely 18-year-old
boy coming in to cover.
107
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:34,839
Very keen to learn the ropes...
108
00:04:34,879 --> 00:04:36,239
..if you know what I mean?
109
00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:37,839
Good luck, Gemma, love.
110
00:04:37,879 --> 00:04:39,959
Thanks, Winnie.
111
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,120
See you.
112
00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:45,519
Rita... Mm? ..please don't
groom your 18-year-old
113
00:04:45,559 --> 00:04:47,800
apprentice into shagging
you on a crate of toner.
114
00:04:49,559 --> 00:04:51,639
LIQUID TRICKLES
115
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:54,839
What the fuck is that?
116
00:04:54,879 --> 00:04:57,639
I think my waters have broke.
I'm not due for another two weeks.
117
00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,760
It's OK, Gemma. Yeah... I'm here.
118
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,959
I'm just going to get the...
119
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,959
..get the "cleaning in progress"
sign so no-one slips on your...
120
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,080
..fluid.
121
00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:10,000
Rita?!
122
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:11,919
Where are you going? Rita?!
123
00:05:14,959 --> 00:05:18,279
Oh, what a lovely job.
124
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,559
Oh...
125
00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:22,599
Ooh...
126
00:05:22,639 --> 00:05:24,199
Malcolm Moscrip? Eh?
127
00:05:24,239 --> 00:05:25,680
You're about to be...
128
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,400
..taken. What?! Oh!
129
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:29,480
Oh, right, OK.
130
00:05:29,519 --> 00:05:31,800
Before we go on,
can I just double check my wife -
131
00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:35,080
well, my ex-wife - Davina, she's
not involved in this at all, is she?
132
00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:37,199
There's no Davina
on the booking form.
133
00:05:37,239 --> 00:05:38,720
Oh, thank goodness for that.
134
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,480
Right. Well, crack on.
135
00:05:40,519 --> 00:05:42,919
OK, great. Well, give me
your phone. Eh? Why?
136
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,080
Because you're being...
..taken.
137
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:47,239
Oh, right.
138
00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:48,279
Yeah, there you go.
139
00:05:48,319 --> 00:05:50,959
Right, in the van.
Right! Oh!
140
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,879
Ha-ha! Oh!
141
00:05:53,919 --> 00:05:57,279
Head... DEREK: Malcolm? ..hands.
142
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,239
This is fun, isn't it, Derek?
143
00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:03,319
I think I've made
a terrible mistake!
144
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:04,800
Argh!
145
00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:07,279
Rita? Is everything OK?!
146
00:06:07,319 --> 00:06:09,199
I'm having a shit!
147
00:06:09,239 --> 00:06:11,239
I'm having a baby!
148
00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:13,080
Look, a massive shit! Go away!
149
00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:15,080
You know how sluggish my bowels get!
150
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,519
Right, so you don't want to be
my birthing partner after all?
151
00:06:17,559 --> 00:06:18,959
On reflection, no.
152
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,639
What about
"I thrive under pressure"?
153
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,720
What about
"I was taken hostage in an embassy"?
154
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,919
No-one comes out of anyone else's
vagina during a siege, Gemma!
155
00:06:25,959 --> 00:06:28,440
SHE HYPERVENTILATES
156
00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,360
Ooh...
157
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:34,879
Oh...
158
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:38,519
Ooh...
159
00:06:38,559 --> 00:06:41,400
Why are you closing early?
160
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:42,720
Gas leak.
161
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:44,239
HE SNIFFS
162
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,959
I don't smell any gas.
No, there's so much gas.
163
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,839
You better go, actually. I don't
want you exploding everywhere.
164
00:06:48,879 --> 00:06:51,400
Are you sure you're not in labour?
I might be a bit in labour.
165
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:54,000
Then why are you
pretending not to be?
166
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:57,239
I don't know! It's too early,
I'm taking my dad out
for dinner tonight.
167
00:06:57,279 --> 00:06:58,760
You are such a dickhead, Gemma!
168
00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:02,440
Come on, I'll drive you
to the hospital. OK.
169
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,440
Watch your step.
170
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:07,279
Oh, what a great birthday
treat, Derek, thank you.
171
00:07:07,319 --> 00:07:08,599
I don't...
172
00:07:08,639 --> 00:07:10,319
I don't like it, Malcolm.
173
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:16,839
Turns out I don't like being bundled
into a van with a bag on my head.
174
00:07:16,879 --> 00:07:19,120
Take your hood off, Malcolm.
What?
175
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,319
I'm quite enjoying it, actually.
176
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,959
Keep your hoods on.
You'll spoil the magic.
177
00:07:24,279 --> 00:07:27,839
I told you to cuff them
BEHIND their backs.
178
00:07:27,879 --> 00:07:30,160
Dad, it's happening.
179
00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:32,239
I'm not ready.
180
00:07:32,279 --> 00:07:33,319
Happy birthday.
181
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:37,480
Hey, let's get you in.
182
00:07:37,519 --> 00:07:39,000
OK...
183
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,480
Do you need help with your legs?
184
00:07:40,519 --> 00:07:42,319
No, I'm fine. Right.
185
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:43,720
Argh!
186
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,000
OK.
187
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,279
OK.
188
00:07:53,319 --> 00:07:57,360
Gentlemen, welcome to
your Taken themed escape room.
189
00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:00,959
You have been Taken
and must solve the clues to release
190
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,239
yourself from this lock-up
and save your daughter.
191
00:08:04,279 --> 00:08:06,959
Sorry. I don't want to sound like
I'm not enjoying it, cos I am,
192
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:11,000
but wasn't it the daughter
that got taken in Taken?
193
00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:12,559
Eh? I mean, it wasn't...
194
00:08:12,599 --> 00:08:14,559
It wasn't Liam Neeson
who got taken, was it?
195
00:08:14,599 --> 00:08:16,080
It was his daughter, wasn't it?
196
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,120
Yeah, Malcolm's right.
197
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:18,919
Are we meant to be the daughter?
198
00:08:18,959 --> 00:08:20,400
I knew it.
199
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:21,639
I fucking knew it.
200
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:23,400
I said we should have
done the Saw franchise.
201
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:24,639
No. No! OK.
202
00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:28,239
You need to escape from the lock-up
to save your daughter...
203
00:08:28,279 --> 00:08:29,760
...who has been...
204
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:33,120
..Taken. Taken, yeah,
but WE were the ones who got taken.
205
00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:35,680
So are we AND our daughters
both taken?
206
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:37,720
Yeah, it is a bit confusing,
isn't it?
207
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,760
Everyone says this, Warren!
Everyone.
208
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:44,239
We've literally not taken a single
person who doesn't immediately say,
209
00:08:44,279 --> 00:08:46,800
"This makes no sense
if you've seen the film Taken."
210
00:08:46,839 --> 00:08:49,080
Well, what's your solution, Craig?
211
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,959
That we kidnap people's daughters
so we can make the theme land?
212
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:56,319
I just think we need to work a
little harder on the world building.
213
00:08:57,559 --> 00:08:58,559
You've got three hours.
214
00:08:58,599 --> 00:08:59,720
Three hours!?
215
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,040
Your mate went
for the deluxe package.
216
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:05,639
Technically it's cheaper, Malcolm.
All right!
217
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,000
Erm...
218
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:10,400
..where do we start?
219
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,760
GEMMA MOANS
220
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,519
Whoa, your own room?!
221
00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:16,599
I know. 48 hours ago,
222
00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,400
she would have been on
a trolley near the needle bins.
223
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,400
I can't have the baby today,
it's my dad's birthday.
224
00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:23,720
Oh, I don't think there's much
we can do about that.
225
00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:25,239
There aren't some
stitches you can put in,
226
00:09:25,279 --> 00:09:27,919
some special glue?
Baby comes when baby wants to come.
227
00:09:27,959 --> 00:09:29,559
OK. Nnngh...
228
00:09:29,599 --> 00:09:31,319
Ooh...
229
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:33,760
What the FUCK is that
supposed to mean?
230
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:37,319
I bet it's something
to do with the light bulb.
231
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,279
There's always a clue
in the light bulb.
232
00:09:40,319 --> 00:09:44,559
Argh! it's so fucking hot. Fuck!
233
00:09:44,599 --> 00:09:46,879
You fucking have a go, Malcolm.
Fuck!
234
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,559
I don't think it is to do with
the light bulb, you know?
235
00:09:49,599 --> 00:09:52,239
DEREK MAKES SPARRING NOISES
236
00:09:53,599 --> 00:09:55,120
Right, listen, Malcolm.
237
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:58,919
Erm...there's...er...something
I wanted to bring up.
238
00:09:58,959 --> 00:10:01,400
Something about Gemma.
239
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:03,080
Yeah. What about Gemma?
240
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:06,839
Well, you know, she's going to have
this baby soon isn't she and, er,
241
00:10:06,879 --> 00:10:08,639
you know she's going to need
someone to take care of her.
242
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,040
Yeah, well, I'm going
take care of her.
243
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,760
Well, you're not going to
be around forever, mate, OK?
244
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:17,440
You know, someone with
a good job who you know
245
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,480
and idolise a little bit.
246
00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:24,839
And, you know, someone you
think of as a really sexy son.
247
00:10:24,879 --> 00:10:30,080
Which is why I would like your
permission to ask Gemma...
248
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,199
..to marry me.
249
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,639
Er, aren't you still married to,
like, someone else?
250
00:10:39,879 --> 00:10:41,440
I'm sorry, Derek.
251
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,639
GEMMA GROANS
252
00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:46,760
I am never having sex again
if this is what happens.
253
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,239
What a stupid fucking stupid system,
and stop breathing so loudly.
254
00:10:49,279 --> 00:10:51,040
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Stop saying sorry.
255
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:54,279
It's not your fault. No. I mean,
I probably should apologise, though.
256
00:10:54,319 --> 00:10:57,639
For... For...
For ghosting you, after Ben.
257
00:10:57,680 --> 00:10:59,599
I was ghosting YOU, buddy.
258
00:10:59,639 --> 00:11:01,400
I was ghosting YOU, buddy.
259
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,680
I was ghosting the shit out of you.
260
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,519
XANDER CHUCKLES
261
00:11:07,199 --> 00:11:09,400
Cherry told me what happened.
262
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,040
Have you heard from him at all?
263
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,760
We're not talking about this now.
264
00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:17,239
HE BREATHES DEEPLY
265
00:11:17,279 --> 00:11:19,639
I'm really glad you're here, though.
266
00:11:21,919 --> 00:11:23,559
Yeah?
267
00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:26,360
Will you go and get me a milkshake
and a bag of crisps?
268
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,239
Yeah.
269
00:11:32,319 --> 00:11:34,080
I've done it!
270
00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:35,839
Oh, poo!
271
00:11:35,879 --> 00:11:38,199
Look, it's another maths clue.
272
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,400
Derek?!
273
00:11:40,959 --> 00:11:42,199
Look!
274
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:47,720
The baby's heart rate
is a little fast,
275
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,559
so we'll try giving you
some more fluid. OK.
276
00:11:59,639 --> 00:12:01,639
PHONE LINE RINGS
277
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:02,919
Who the fuck are you?
278
00:12:02,959 --> 00:12:05,279
Er, Catherine gave me
this number for emergencies.
279
00:12:05,319 --> 00:12:06,800
It's Gemma. Her sister.
280
00:12:06,839 --> 00:12:09,239
Oh! Hundred quid, five minutes.
281
00:12:09,279 --> 00:12:10,839
Oi, shitface, it's your sister.
282
00:12:12,279 --> 00:12:16,760
Gemma! I told you to only use this
number if there's an emergency.
283
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,160
You're going to have to send her
100 quid in crypto currency.
284
00:12:19,199 --> 00:12:20,360
For a five-minute call?!
285
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,160
Are you in hospital?
286
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:23,919
Yeah.
287
00:12:23,959 --> 00:12:26,639
I'm in labour and I can't get
through to Dad, or even Mum.
288
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:27,720
I mean, I...
289
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,000
I really don't want
to do this alone.
290
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,400
There was summat I wanted to
discuss with you, actually.
291
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,559
I'm literally having a baby.
That's why I called you.
292
00:12:34,599 --> 00:12:37,120
Well, it's not coming out of you
right this second, though, is it?
293
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,720
No, no. You're correct. Go on.
294
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,599
Am I a bad person?
Cos I think I might be a bad person.
295
00:12:42,639 --> 00:12:46,959
GEMMA CRIES OUT IN PAIN
Oh! I mean, I don't know! Maybe?
296
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,639
Just with the trial coming up,
I'm starting to wonder
297
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:55,080
if I shouldn't have paid someone
to push Gary off that fire escape.
298
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:58,080
I think it might have been
a bit selfish.
299
00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:01,879
I mean, it was a pretty terrible
thing to do, Catherine!
300
00:13:01,919 --> 00:13:03,480
He's fine now, though.
301
00:13:03,519 --> 00:13:04,720
Really.
302
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,879
He actually seems a lot happier
since it happened.
303
00:13:07,919 --> 00:13:11,480
If you know it was bad, and you're
not going to do it again,
304
00:13:11,519 --> 00:13:12,879
then that's growth.
305
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,000
Thanks, Gemma.
306
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:18,160
BANGING ON DOOR
Oh, shit! Screws!
307
00:13:18,199 --> 00:13:19,440
No, Cat! Don't go!
308
00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:20,879
PHONE DISCONNECTS
309
00:13:20,919 --> 00:13:22,239
Cat?!
310
00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:23,279
Fuckin' 'ell!
311
00:13:29,319 --> 00:13:31,560
Come on, mate.
312
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:34,600
You can ignore me all afternoon,
we'll never get out of here.
313
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,920
I'm not going to lie to you,
Malcolm -
314
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,039
this hasn't really gone as planned.
315
00:13:41,079 --> 00:13:43,759
I was going to ask your permission
to marry Gemma, you'd say yes,
316
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:46,560
we'd bosh our way through
the escape room,
317
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:49,039
and then onto the pub
for your birthday drinks and...
318
00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:51,480
..to toast me
as your new son-in-law.
319
00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:52,520
I'm sorry, mate.
320
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,319
But, you know, even if I'd said yes,
I've got a feeling that...
321
00:13:56,359 --> 00:13:59,999
..Gemma, you know, she wouldn't
go for it. Do you think?
322
00:14:03,119 --> 00:14:04,319
Yeah, you're right.
323
00:14:04,359 --> 00:14:06,679
Screw her. Screw her.
324
00:14:06,719 --> 00:14:07,800
But also...
325
00:14:09,719 --> 00:14:12,679
..she's the best thing in my life...
326
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:13,920
..and I love her very much.
327
00:14:16,719 --> 00:14:17,920
Whatever, mate.
328
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,119
You're being really boring now.
329
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:24,280
Come on, let's solve this
motherfucker - Derek style.
330
00:14:24,319 --> 00:14:26,920
Yeah!
HE LAUGHS
331
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,679
Check the files!
It's always in the files.
332
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,160
What are you doing? Fucking maths?!
333
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,960
Hey, look, I think I've got it.
334
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,560
Stop wasting time.
335
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,319
What?! That was the...
336
00:14:38,359 --> 00:14:40,160
Let's go, come on.
337
00:14:41,119 --> 00:14:44,200
Why's it not in the files?!
It's supposed to be here!
338
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,240
There you go.
Fuck, this is too hard!
339
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,840
Oh, this is too hard,
this is too hard. It's impossible.
340
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,319
What do we do now?!
341
00:14:50,359 --> 00:14:52,679
I'll check the pillows,
you keep fucking pedalling.
342
00:14:52,719 --> 00:14:56,119
Argh! Argh!
343
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:59,399
I can't find it! Argh!
344
00:14:59,439 --> 00:15:01,319
Malcolm, flip this!
345
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,600
BOTH SHOUT AND COUGH
346
00:15:03,639 --> 00:15:06,240
Oh, God! It's too hard!
347
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:10,679
It's too hard! It's too hard,
we give up! I don't feel well.
348
00:15:10,719 --> 00:15:15,560
BOTH COUGH AND SOB
349
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,039
Please!
350
00:15:17,079 --> 00:15:19,240
Get us out!
351
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:22,039
Oh, this is horrible.
352
00:15:22,079 --> 00:15:23,840
It's going to get
a fuck of a lot worse.
353
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,480
Hey! What? She knows.
354
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,359
GEMMA INHALES
That's right, babe. Suck it up.
355
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,759
That really does take the edge off,
doesn't it?
356
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,160
Listen, I can't stay long -
the kids are waiting in a taxi
357
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,920
and I've got about eight minutes
before one of them
358
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,280
smashes a window, so...
Honestly, it's fine.
359
00:15:38,319 --> 00:15:41,359
I think it's going to be pretty
plain sailing from here on out.
360
00:15:42,759 --> 00:15:45,439
I wonder what it's like to
be really flat?
361
00:15:46,999 --> 00:15:49,719
You know, like when people
get slid under doors
362
00:15:49,759 --> 00:15:51,399
because they're so flat?
363
00:15:51,439 --> 00:15:58,160
You know like when they're really
flat and they slide under doors?
364
00:15:58,200 --> 00:15:59,880
God, I love gas and air.
365
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:00,920
Give us a toke on that.
366
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:01,960
Oh, Cherry, Cherry...
367
00:16:01,999 --> 00:16:03,999
INHALES
368
00:16:04,039 --> 00:16:06,719
Ugh... Oh, it's so good.
369
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,119
Hm!
370
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:12,200
Gem.
371
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:13,240
Listen to me.
372
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:19,399
Take all the drugs that you can,
even if you don't need them.
373
00:16:19,439 --> 00:16:22,520
Hospital-grade heroin is amazing.
374
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:26,240
Sometimes I dream about getting
into a little car accident
375
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,480
just so I can have the bed
rest and the morphine.
376
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:29,520
Mmm...
377
00:16:30,759 --> 00:16:31,759
Good luck, mate.
378
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:35,439
Here you are, get your lips
round that.
379
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:36,480
Thank you.
380
00:16:39,719 --> 00:16:43,399
Don't you dare leave her side or
I will break both your kneecaps.
381
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:46,840
Let me know when she's had it.
382
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:51,399
Cherry...
383
00:16:51,439 --> 00:16:52,439
You're flat.
384
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:57,079
Slide under the door,
but don't tell anyone.
385
00:16:57,119 --> 00:16:58,840
All right, phones back, lads.
386
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,359
Why'd you make it that hard?
387
00:17:00,399 --> 00:17:02,240
I don't think it is that hard,
is it?
388
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,079
Takes all the fun out of it,
you make it that hard.
389
00:17:05,319 --> 00:17:07,480
Gemma's having her baby.
390
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,119
My daughter is having her baby!
391
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:10,200
Today? Rude.
392
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,280
Yeah, she was calling a lot.
393
00:17:12,319 --> 00:17:15,240
Yeah, well, at least she hasn't,
been Taken, am I right? Ha.
394
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,520
Take me to the hospital.
Can you drive me to the hospital?
395
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:18,999
We're not a taxi service, mate.
396
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:22,759
Listen, you drive my best
friend to the hospital...
397
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:28,960
..or I will find you
and I WILL kill you.
398
00:17:28,999 --> 00:17:30,079
Jesus.
399
00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:31,160
Joke.
400
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,079
But I will leave you
a scathing review, so...
401
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:35,319
All right, you two, follow me.
402
00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:36,359
Thanks.
403
00:17:41,719 --> 00:17:42,719
I'll tidy up then, shall I?
404
00:17:47,759 --> 00:17:49,520
Uhh...
405
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:50,960
You can go if you want.
406
00:17:50,999 --> 00:17:51,999
Get some food.
407
00:17:52,999 --> 00:17:54,439
No.
408
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,039
I nabbed a bit of dry toast
that the midwife
409
00:17:57,079 --> 00:18:00,480
shouted at me for stealing,
so I'm all good.
410
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,520
BABY'S HEARTBEAT ON MONITOR
411
00:18:04,719 --> 00:18:07,280
Look, I'm not going anywhere.
412
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,880
Unless you want me to leave.
413
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:13,399
No. I want you here with me.
414
00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:18,079
God, I bet I look awful.
415
00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:19,119
No.
416
00:18:20,679 --> 00:18:22,439
I've never seen you
look so beautiful.
417
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:27,439
And you always look beautiful.
418
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,039
Baby's heart rate
hasn't settled, Gemma,
419
00:18:31,079 --> 00:18:33,800
so it's time to
discuss other options.
420
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:39,639
Oh, come on.
421
00:18:43,079 --> 00:18:46,480
I saw three of mine
slide into this world.
422
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,800
Absolutely fucking disgusting.
423
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,600
I mean, really offensive.
424
00:18:52,639 --> 00:18:55,679
It's blood and shit just everywhere.
425
00:18:57,079 --> 00:18:59,759
She was screaming, I was screaming.
426
00:19:00,759 --> 00:19:02,880
The doctor was screaming.
427
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:04,079
"Argh!
428
00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:06,200
"What the fuck is that? Argh!"
429
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,719
SIGHS
430
00:19:08,759 --> 00:19:10,719
CLEARS THROAT AND SNIFFS
431
00:19:10,759 --> 00:19:14,079
"Out of ten, how would you rate
your escape room experience?"
432
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,039
I just remember popping out
for a Walnut Whip
433
00:19:16,079 --> 00:19:19,840
and when I came back, Davina was
watching Neighbours with the baby.
434
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,039
Both times!
LAUGHS
435
00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:24,719
"Too fucking hard out of ten."
436
00:19:24,759 --> 00:19:25,800
That's how I'd rate it.
437
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,039
Go rescue your daughter!
438
00:19:32,079 --> 00:19:33,439
Stop saying the cool...!
439
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:34,759
I get the cool sign-off line!
440
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:35,800
Malcolm!
441
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:36,840
What?
442
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:37,880
I just...
443
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:41,280
Just don't fuck it up,
big guy, all right?
444
00:19:41,319 --> 00:19:42,679
Yeah. Thanks. Mm.
445
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,119
Yeah.
446
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:46,560
Yeah, OK. Thanks.
447
00:19:53,679 --> 00:19:55,240
Xander!
448
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:56,880
Is she OK? I got messages.
449
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:58,240
Gemma's being prepped for surgery.
450
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,439
She needs a C-section.
451
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,840
Only one birthing partner can go in.
452
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:02,999
I'm her father.
453
00:20:03,039 --> 00:20:04,119
You know, I'm Gemma's father.
454
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:05,480
I'm not the baby's father, you know.
455
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:06,719
I'm just a friend. Yeah.
456
00:20:06,759 --> 00:20:08,399
I mean, the father's not around,
so...
457
00:20:08,439 --> 00:20:10,200
Which one of you is
going in with her?
458
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,319
Well, he's all dressed
for it, isn't he?
459
00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:15,160
No, I think you sh... Dad?
460
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,439
Gem...
461
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:20,480
Gemma!
462
00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:25,319
Where have you been? Oh...
463
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:28,039
Some men took my phone off me.
464
00:20:28,079 --> 00:20:30,520
Who did? Oh, it doesn't matter.
465
00:20:31,999 --> 00:20:33,840
So you'll feel a tugging sensation.
466
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,639
But there won't be any pain,
I promise.
467
00:20:36,679 --> 00:20:39,719
Oh, God, that's
really weird and gross.
468
00:20:39,759 --> 00:20:41,960
Would you like me to talk
you through what's happening?
469
00:20:41,999 --> 00:20:42,999
No.
470
00:20:43,039 --> 00:20:45,759
Talk to me about literally anything
other than what's happening.
471
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,560
Didn't you say you'd just
had your floors done?
472
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:50,719
Err, yeah, we had, er, damp
proofing and a concrete pour.
473
00:20:50,759 --> 00:20:52,920
God, that feels really weird.
474
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,319
Tell me about the screed.
475
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:55,480
This stool is bit low, isn't it?
476
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:56,639
Can it go any higher?
477
00:20:56,679 --> 00:20:58,679
Or I could stand up, couldn't I?
478
00:20:58,719 --> 00:21:01,200
Oh, shit, sorry. Should I touch
that or is it contaminated?
479
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:02,920
Dad... I don't know.
Don't look over the curtain.
480
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,079
What? Oh...
481
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:05,119
Ohh...
482
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:09,039
Nearly there, Gemma.
483
00:21:09,079 --> 00:21:11,039
The surgeon's just
cutting through the sac.
484
00:21:11,079 --> 00:21:12,560
You know what? I think that
curtain should be higher.
485
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:13,800
I'm going to write to
someone about that.
486
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,439
Unless there's,
like, a suggestion box
487
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,079
or something like that, you know?
488
00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:19,719
Are you ready to
meet your baby, Gemma?
489
00:21:19,759 --> 00:21:22,200
Should be good now.
OK. And another clamp...
490
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,240
Here she is.
491
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,439
BABY CRIES
She's a girl!
492
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,160
Oh, my God, Gem.
493
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,520
Isn't she clever?
You're so clever.
494
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,319
The baby's fine. She's gorgeous.
495
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:38,800
You're such a clever girl.
She's perfect.
496
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:39,840
Just like you.
497
00:21:41,639 --> 00:21:44,399
Isn't she clever?
SOBS
498
00:21:44,439 --> 00:21:46,920
Oh, God.
Congratulations, Gemma.
499
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,719
Oh, she's gorgeous, Gem.
500
00:21:53,759 --> 00:21:55,840
Oh, there you go, Grandad.
501
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:57,759
Oh, my God.
502
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:58,960
Hello, little one.
503
00:22:00,439 --> 00:22:02,039
Oh, she's perfect.
504
00:22:05,039 --> 00:22:06,240
Look at you, little one.
505
00:22:07,999 --> 00:22:12,240
Gorgeous. Hello, I'm your grandad.
BP's dropping...
506
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:13,280
Someone call the registrar.
507
00:22:13,319 --> 00:22:14,840
I can't stop the bleeding. What?
508
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:16,119
Need clamps. What's happening?
509
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,719
What? It's going to be fine.
What's going on?
510
00:22:18,759 --> 00:22:20,840
Sorry, Grandad. I can't find
the source of the bleeding.
511
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:22,399
Gem? She's still bleeding.
512
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:25,999
I'll just be outside.
You're going to be all right, OK?
513
00:22:26,039 --> 00:22:27,840
You'll be all right.
Five litre blood loss...
514
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,280
Dad! It's OK, my love, it's OK.
515
00:22:30,319 --> 00:22:31,359
Still bleeding.
516
00:22:31,399 --> 00:22:33,480
I can't see anything.
517
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:34,520
Hello.
518
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:38,200
Hey.
519
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:41,600
Hey.
520
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:44,600
All right.
521
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:53,880
BABY GRIZZLES
Shh...
522
00:22:55,639 --> 00:22:57,079
She's going to be OK.
523
00:22:58,359 --> 00:22:59,359
Hey.
524
00:23:00,759 --> 00:23:02,119
Isn't she?
525
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:03,160
Hey.
526
00:23:06,759 --> 00:23:08,280
Gemma's fine.
527
00:23:08,319 --> 00:23:10,999
She lost a lot of blood,
but she's fine.
528
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,160
She's OK? She's in recovery.
529
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:15,719
We'll bring her back soon.
530
00:23:15,759 --> 00:23:17,439
All right.
531
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:18,480
Thank you.
532
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:30,840
Do you hear that?
533
00:23:33,039 --> 00:23:34,240
We're going to be all right.
534
00:23:48,399 --> 00:23:50,399
BABY WHIMPERS
535
00:23:59,759 --> 00:24:01,639
Shh... Come on, come on.
536
00:24:01,679 --> 00:24:02,840
Grandad's here.
537
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,240
Come on. That's it.
538
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:05,399
Come on.
539
00:24:05,439 --> 00:24:06,439
Good girl.
540
00:24:09,439 --> 00:24:10,439
All right, I've got her.
541
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:11,719
You go back to sleep, babes.
542
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:16,639
I've thought of a name.
543
00:24:16,679 --> 00:24:18,480
Have you? What?
544
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:19,880
Sadie.
545
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:21,160
Oh, Sadie!
546
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,600
I love that!
547
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,039
Hello, Sadie.
548
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:27,840
Hey?
549
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:29,759
You're a much nicer birthday present
550
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:34,119
than being stuck in a storage unit
with your Uncle Derek, aren't you?
551
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:35,960
What the hell have
you been doing today?
552
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:38,600
I'll tell you later.
553
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:42,280
There's a visitor for you, Gemma.
554
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,920
Oh, could you tell them
to come back tomorrow?
555
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,880
Oh, she's been quite insistent.
556
00:24:51,679 --> 00:24:52,679
Mum!
557
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,520
It's OK, Gemma, love.
558
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:00,119
I'm here now.
559
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:03,880
Davina!
560
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,600
Malcolm.
561
00:25:05,639 --> 00:25:07,200
What are you doing?
562
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,679
Gemma doesn't want the baby
catching something
563
00:25:10,719 --> 00:25:13,520
from your dirty, great
warehouse hands.
564
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:14,639
No, I'm sorry.
565
00:25:14,679 --> 00:25:16,399
I'm so sorry.
566
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:19,280
I'm sorry...
567
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:25,840
Hiya, Mum.
568
00:25:27,679 --> 00:25:28,999
Hiya, sweetheart.
40747
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