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1
00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:06,020
I need 2 seats
On your 4:15
To boston, please.
2
00:00:06,390 --> 00:00:09,590
Oh, of course, mr. Smith.
It's so nice
To see you again.
3
00:00:09,590 --> 00:00:11,530
The name's beekman,
Not smith.
4
00:00:11,530 --> 00:00:15,400
Oh, no, it couldn't be.
I never forget a face.
You're john smith.
5
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:19,300
For the last 3 fridays
You've been flying to boston
With your lovely wife, jane.
6
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,170
Do you know his wife?
7
00:00:22,570 --> 00:00:24,570
I am his wife.
8
00:00:24,570 --> 00:00:26,580
Honey, she's
Obviously confused.
9
00:00:26,580 --> 00:00:28,580
Why don't we try
That airline over there?
10
00:00:28,580 --> 00:00:29,580
Like hell.
11
00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:30,580
Let me guess.
12
00:00:30,580 --> 00:00:33,580
Jane is about 5'6",
Blonde from a bottle
13
00:00:33,580 --> 00:00:35,020
With a chest out to here?
14
00:00:35,020 --> 00:00:38,260
Uh, maybe here.
15
00:00:38,250 --> 00:00:40,760
You said it was over.
You said
It was ancient history.
16
00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,260
You had better
Get yourself
A good lawyer.
17
00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:49,770
So, a one to boston, then?
18
00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:55,310
[seagulls cawing]
19
00:01:58,070 --> 00:01:59,570
[siren blaring on t.V.]
20
00:01:59,570 --> 00:02:01,770
Hey, joe, you want
The last potsticker?
21
00:02:01,770 --> 00:02:04,270
Are potstickers
Those slimy, white,
Puffy things?
22
00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:06,110
(helen)
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
23
00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:08,880
Isn't this wonderful?
24
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,250
This is the first friday night
That we've been alone
25
00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:12,250
Since we've
Been going out.
26
00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:14,250
How'd you get rid
Of brian?
Mmm,
27
00:02:15,250 --> 00:02:16,250
I told him it'd be
A good idea
28
00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:17,750
If he went downtown
And got some ice cream.
29
00:02:18,250 --> 00:02:19,260
He pretty much
Got the hint.
30
00:02:19,260 --> 00:02:20,260
Good work.
31
00:02:21,460 --> 00:02:23,030
[whistling]
32
00:02:24,030 --> 00:02:25,030
What are you
Doing here?
33
00:02:25,030 --> 00:02:26,530
You told me to go
Get some ice cream
34
00:02:26,530 --> 00:02:28,030
And I went and got
Some ice cream.
35
00:02:28,030 --> 00:02:30,800
I mean, you were hinting
Hard enough, joe, jeez!
36
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,740
Oh, and I picked up
This great, great film.
37
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:34,600
Uh--uh, brian--
38
00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:36,610
The video store
Was a total madhouse.
39
00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:39,110
I mean, ordinarily mature
Civilized people
40
00:02:39,110 --> 00:02:41,610
Wrestling on the floor
Over a copy of the goonies.
41
00:02:41,610 --> 00:02:43,080
Brian, we were
Watching this film.
Brian, hey...
42
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,820
Yeah, no, no, no.
This is even better.
This is even better.
43
00:02:45,820 --> 00:02:47,820
It's samurai without a name.
44
00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:51,320
Yeah, it's considered
A classic
Of the japanese cinema.
45
00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:53,820
A film of understated
Beauty and power.
46
00:02:53,820 --> 00:02:56,330
Since when
Do you know so much
About japanese movies?
47
00:02:56,330 --> 00:02:58,790
I don't,
I read it off the box.
48
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,230
Brian, we were--
Of course, the true way
To enjoy this
49
00:03:01,230 --> 00:03:02,730
Is with the sound off.
50
00:03:02,730 --> 00:03:05,240
[laughing]
51
00:03:05,230 --> 00:03:08,100
How do you like
My new robe?
I got it on sale.
52
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:09,610
It makes you look
Like a girl.
53
00:03:09,610 --> 00:03:12,070
How dare you make fun
Of my clothes?
Prepare to die.
54
00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:13,040
Ow!
55
00:03:13,540 --> 00:03:15,150
(helen)
Hey--
Put that saber down!
56
00:03:15,140 --> 00:03:17,650
Brian, why don't you, um,
Go get us some bowls
For that ice cream?
57
00:03:17,650 --> 00:03:18,650
Oh, good idea.
Ok, great.
Yeah.
58
00:03:18,650 --> 00:03:20,080
And while I'm in there,
59
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:21,080
I'll look
For some cups, too.
60
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,590
They make great
Horse hoof sounds.
61
00:03:22,590 --> 00:03:23,920
[helen laughing]
62
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:25,420
You have a choice.
63
00:03:25,420 --> 00:03:26,920
You either
Get your brother
Out of here
64
00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,430
Or I will kill him
And bury him
65
00:03:28,420 --> 00:03:29,890
In a shallow grave
Out back.
66
00:03:29,890 --> 00:03:33,060
I think I saw a shovel
Out in the garage.
67
00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:36,570
Someone has to tell him
That we're not
The 3 musketeers anymore.
68
00:03:36,570 --> 00:03:37,530
You and I are dating, now.
69
00:03:37,530 --> 00:03:38,970
Ok, all right. Ok, ok.
70
00:03:38,970 --> 00:03:40,470
When he comes back,
In here we'll,
Uh, tell him--
71
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,210
Oh, "We'll"?
No, there's no
"We'll" here.
72
00:03:42,210 --> 00:03:43,540
You're gonna tell him.
He's your brother.
73
00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:46,310
Am I gonna be punished
For that my whole life?
74
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:47,910
All right, ok, ok,
I'll tell him.
75
00:03:47,910 --> 00:03:49,410
Did I miss
Any decapitations?
76
00:03:49,410 --> 00:03:51,920
No. Listen, brian--
Ah, here we are,
Here's my favorite part.
77
00:03:51,910 --> 00:03:52,920
Here's my favorite part.
78
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,380
I'm tired
Of making war.
Let's sing!
79
00:03:55,380 --> 00:03:56,790
Good idea.
80
00:03:56,790 --> 00:03:59,620
I brought my sheet music.
It's in the key of c.
On my downbeat.
81
00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:02,430
Me and you
And a dog named boo
Livin' on the--
82
00:04:02,930 --> 00:04:04,890
Brian, helen and I
Want to be alone.
83
00:04:04,890 --> 00:04:06,300
What samurai says that?
84
00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:08,930
No, it's not that
We don't ever want
To hang out with you.
85
00:04:08,930 --> 00:04:10,430
It's just that, uh,
86
00:04:10,430 --> 00:04:12,440
We need some time
To ourselves.
You understand that.
87
00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,240
Uh, yeah, yeah,
You don't want me around.
88
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,740
Oh, come on, brian,
If--if the tables
Were turned
89
00:04:17,740 --> 00:04:19,240
Would you want me
Hanging around?
90
00:04:19,740 --> 00:04:22,750
Of course not.
But I'm a lot more fun
Than you are.
91
00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:26,250
Look, it's just that
We're in a relationship now.
92
00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:28,750
[whispering]
This isn't my idea.
It's helen's.
93
00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:30,750
And, uh,
94
00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:32,220
We need some time
To ourselves.
95
00:04:32,220 --> 00:04:34,220
[whispering]
I like having you around.
96
00:04:34,220 --> 00:04:36,230
But, I'm sorry, but
That's just the way it is.
97
00:04:36,230 --> 00:04:38,590
[whispering]
Helen is in
A really bad mood today.
98
00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:40,930
Don't give me that.
99
00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:42,430
I bet you
If I asked helen
100
00:04:42,430 --> 00:04:44,430
She'd say
She wanted me to stay.
101
00:04:44,430 --> 00:04:46,940
(helen)
No, she wouldn't.
102
00:04:46,940 --> 00:04:48,240
Look, brian,
You're great
With women.
103
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,010
Why don't you just go out
And find somebody nice?
104
00:04:50,010 --> 00:04:51,440
Yeah, yeah.
105
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,940
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Yeah, you're right.
106
00:04:52,940 --> 00:04:55,950
This--this may be just
The kick in the pants I need
107
00:04:55,950 --> 00:04:57,780
To get my life
Back on track.
108
00:04:57,780 --> 00:05:00,920
Or it could mean years
Of intensive therapy.
109
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:01,920
Yeah.
110
00:05:04,190 --> 00:05:06,190
[door closing]
He probably hates me now,
Doesn't he?
111
00:05:06,190 --> 00:05:08,690
No, not at all.
I pretty much
Kept you out of it.
112
00:05:14,660 --> 00:05:18,400
(fay)
Announcing the departure
Of flight 27 to provincetown.
113
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,900
We at sandpiper air
Request you please refrain
114
00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:24,410
From taking flash pictures
During takeoff or landing
115
00:05:24,410 --> 00:05:26,910
As this temporarily
Blinds our pilot.
116
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,410
Thank you.
117
00:05:30,910 --> 00:05:33,420
I'm sorry, kenny.
Brian still hasn't shown up.
118
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,420
You're gonna have to
Take another flight.
Oh, no sweat, sir.
119
00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:39,420
I'll, uh, just get
My guidance counselor
To write me a pass.
120
00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:41,720
Yeah, I can just tell him
I'm going on a field trip.
121
00:05:42,230 --> 00:05:43,690
Think he'll buy that?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
122
00:05:43,690 --> 00:05:45,700
He'll sign
Just about anything
I put in front of him.
123
00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:47,530
By the end of the day,
He's pretty much loaded.
124
00:05:47,530 --> 00:05:48,800
Good.
125
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,530
Still no sign of brian?
126
00:05:51,530 --> 00:05:52,540
No. I'm getting
Worried about him.
127
00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:54,040
He didn't even
Come home last night.
128
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,540
We must have
Really hurt
His feelings.
129
00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:57,110
Oh, I'm sure
He'll be ok.
130
00:05:57,110 --> 00:06:00,610
You know, this reminds me
Of a funny story
About my uncle emmett.
131
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,850
Seems one day he disappeared.
132
00:06:02,850 --> 00:06:04,350
No one could find him.
133
00:06:04,850 --> 00:06:07,550
Then somebody
Had the good sense
To look into his well.
134
00:06:07,550 --> 00:06:09,050
Sure enough, there he was.
135
00:06:09,050 --> 00:06:10,350
[laughing]
136
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,020
He was ok?
137
00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:13,860
Nope. Deader than a doornail.
138
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,360
He was wedged in there
Pretty good, too.
139
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,400
Took a tow truck wench
To yank him out.
140
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,900
Came out a foot taller
Than he went in.
141
00:06:24,330 --> 00:06:25,840
Lowell, that's not
A funny story.
142
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,340
That is a tragic,
Horrible story.
143
00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:31,040
By god, you're right.
144
00:06:32,070 --> 00:06:33,880
I'm gonna
Call the police.
145
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,850
Mon frere!
146
00:06:35,850 --> 00:06:37,780
Brian, where the hell
Have you been?
147
00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:39,780
I've been worried sick
About you.
148
00:06:39,780 --> 00:06:41,780
Ah, been in, uh, paris.
149
00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:43,290
Yeah, right.
150
00:06:43,290 --> 00:06:45,290
No, really.
'cause after you guys
Booted me out last night
151
00:06:45,290 --> 00:06:47,790
I went down
To the tin whistle,
Met this woman.
152
00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:50,790
She has led
An incredible life,
153
00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:52,800
Climbed the north face
Of the eiger, ok.
154
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,300
Kayaked down the ganges.
155
00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:56,770
She even competed
In the iditarod
Dogsled race.
156
00:06:56,770 --> 00:06:59,170
She would've won
If that dog
Hadn't frozen.
157
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,500
I don't believe you.
158
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:04,010
Oh, ok, she definitely
Would've been in the top 3.
159
00:07:04,010 --> 00:07:04,870
Anyway,
160
00:07:04,870 --> 00:07:07,180
We got to talking, right.
Next thing I know
161
00:07:07,180 --> 00:07:10,180
I'm winging my way to paris
On the family jet
162
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,050
To have lunch at la mazere.
163
00:07:13,050 --> 00:07:14,550
Family jet?
164
00:07:14,550 --> 00:07:15,480
She must be well-off.
165
00:07:15,890 --> 00:07:17,890
You know that expression
"Stinking rich"?
166
00:07:17,890 --> 00:07:21,190
Well, "P"
And might I say "U".
167
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:23,190
You're making this up.
He's making this up.
168
00:07:23,190 --> 00:07:24,490
[people chattering]
169
00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:27,400
Hello, gorgeous.
170
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:28,900
Come here, you.
171
00:07:28,900 --> 00:07:30,130
[moaning]
172
00:07:32,130 --> 00:07:34,640
Did you used to play
The trumpet? Never mind.
173
00:07:35,910 --> 00:07:37,410
Gwen holmes,
This is my brother, joe
174
00:07:37,410 --> 00:07:39,910
And helen chapel,
His little crouton.
175
00:07:39,910 --> 00:07:43,410
Oh, it is really great
To meet you.
176
00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:44,710
I guess it is.
177
00:07:44,710 --> 00:07:45,720
Oh, brian's told me
So much about you.
178
00:07:46,220 --> 00:07:47,620
I feel close
To you both already.
179
00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:49,490
And hold on
To your berets.
180
00:07:49,490 --> 00:07:52,420
Here's the really big news.
Gwen and I have decided
181
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:54,620
To get married.
182
00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,860
You're getting married?
No, you're kidding.
Brian.
183
00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:58,630
Oh, listen,
Brian.
184
00:07:58,630 --> 00:08:01,130
I know it's impetuous
But I cannot help myself.
185
00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:03,500
I've never been in love
Like this before.
186
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:06,000
Brian and I believe
In following our impulses
187
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,840
And my impulse says
Marry this big galoot.
188
00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:09,610
[laughing]
189
00:08:09,610 --> 00:08:11,570
You know, it's like
My father always says,
190
00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:13,080
"You gotta take
A big bite out of life
191
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:16,080
And just let the juices
Drip down your chin."
192
00:08:17,150 --> 00:08:19,150
Is it any wonder
I love her?
193
00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:22,150
[moaning]
194
00:08:22,150 --> 00:08:23,650
Oh, hold it.
Hold it.
195
00:08:24,150 --> 00:08:25,660
Hold it, hold it,
Hold it, hold it.
196
00:08:25,650 --> 00:08:27,160
I just got
Another gut feeling.
197
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,990
Oh, listen up, guys.
Her gut knows
What it's talking about.
198
00:08:29,990 --> 00:08:31,760
We get married
On your plane.
Uh-huh.
199
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:32,760
Then, after the "I do's,"
200
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,260
We skydive into
Our life together.
201
00:08:34,260 --> 00:08:36,400
Oh, I love that.
I--I love that.
202
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,400
Now, let--let's--
Let's make all
Our plans that way.
203
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,400
No plans.
204
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:42,910
Well, that is a plan.
Forget what I just said.
205
00:08:43,410 --> 00:08:45,410
Brian, can we talk
To you in my office
For a second?
206
00:08:45,410 --> 00:08:46,680
Sure, sure, sure.
207
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:48,180
Whoa, careful brian,
208
00:08:48,180 --> 00:08:49,180
This is the part
Where they tell you
You're crazy
209
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:50,680
And try
And talk you
Out of it.
210
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:52,510
(joe)
Oh, no, we wouldn't do that.
211
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,020
Oh, of course not.
They're just gonna
Criticize your looks
212
00:08:55,020 --> 00:08:56,520
And dissect
Your personality.
213
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:57,520
[both laughing]
214
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,020
We won't be long.
215
00:09:02,020 --> 00:09:04,530
Brian, if this is
Because we kicked
You out last night
216
00:09:04,530 --> 00:09:06,000
You're overreacting.
No, no.
217
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:07,930
Brian, you can't
Go through with this.
You don't even know her.
218
00:09:07,930 --> 00:09:09,830
Helen, helen,
219
00:09:09,830 --> 00:09:12,340
Words cannot describe
How I feel.
220
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:14,500
I-it's-- I feel--
221
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:16,470
I feel whole with gwen.
222
00:09:16,470 --> 00:09:18,980
Like there was
This missing part of me
That I never realized.
223
00:09:18,970 --> 00:09:20,480
We fit, you know?
224
00:09:20,980 --> 00:09:22,480
I guess words
Can describe it.
225
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,110
[knocking at door]
226
00:09:24,110 --> 00:09:25,620
Uh, since this
Does concern me,
227
00:09:25,610 --> 00:09:27,620
Seems like I ought
To be involved
In the discussion.
228
00:09:27,620 --> 00:09:30,620
Come on in,
Mon petit chou.
229
00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:32,620
Is it safe to assume
That you're still at the,
230
00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:34,420
"You hardly know her,
Why not take your time" part?
231
00:09:34,420 --> 00:09:36,090
Mmm.
Look, look, gwen,
232
00:09:36,090 --> 00:09:38,930
I'm sure you're really
A very nice person.
It's just that--
233
00:09:38,930 --> 00:09:41,360
That we just met
And getting married
Is a big step.
234
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,300
Why not wait,
See if you're
Compatible first?
235
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:46,470
After all the foundation
For a lasting relationship,
It takes time to build.
236
00:09:46,970 --> 00:09:47,970
Exactly.
Ah, bull.
237
00:09:47,970 --> 00:09:49,370
[brian exclaims]
238
00:09:49,370 --> 00:09:50,370
She nails him
With a haymaker.
239
00:09:50,870 --> 00:09:53,440
That's gotta hurt.
240
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:56,950
Gwen, it takes time
To be comfortable
In a relationship.
241
00:09:56,950 --> 00:09:59,950
Comfortable?
You want comfortable,
You get a barcalounger.
242
00:09:59,950 --> 00:10:01,950
Take--take
Helen and me,
For example.
243
00:10:01,950 --> 00:10:02,950
We got a great
Relationship.
Yeah.
244
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,950
But it's taken
Some time to develop.
245
00:10:04,950 --> 00:10:06,260
Yeah, it doesn't
Happen overnight.
246
00:10:06,490 --> 00:10:07,490
Well, how long
Have you two
Known one another?
247
00:10:07,490 --> 00:10:08,660
20 years.
248
00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:09,890
Twen--
249
00:10:09,890 --> 00:10:11,730
Y-you've known
One another
For 20 years
250
00:10:11,730 --> 00:10:13,800
And you still
Haven't made
A commitment?
251
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,930
I'm sorry,
But what the hell
Are you waiting for?
252
00:10:16,270 --> 00:10:17,770
Well, it's a little more
Complicated than that.
253
00:10:17,770 --> 00:10:20,770
Yeah, a lot
More complicated.
254
00:10:20,770 --> 00:10:22,670
Well, a little
More complicated.
255
00:10:23,010 --> 00:10:25,070
It's only complicated
If it's wrong.
256
00:10:25,070 --> 00:10:26,580
All right, look,
Let's get down
To the bottom of this.
257
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,410
What is it that
You're not sure about?
258
00:10:28,710 --> 00:10:29,710
Well, I--I guess
It's that--
259
00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:30,710
W-wait--wait a--
Wait a minute.
260
00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:32,080
Someplace
Along the line, here,
261
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,580
We seem to have gotten off
The subject at hand.
262
00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:34,580
Which is
You and brian.
Right.
263
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:36,420
Do you love helen?
264
00:10:36,420 --> 00:10:39,350
Well, love is a--
Well, the thing is when
You have deep feelings...
265
00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:40,760
Helen, do you love joe?
266
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,760
Now, now, what
You're asking is...
267
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:45,790
See, I've known joe
For a long time,
And joe and I realize...
268
00:10:45,790 --> 00:10:47,230
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
269
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:48,730
I didn't realize that, uh,
270
00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:50,300
You both were so unsure
Of your feelings
For one another.
271
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:53,500
Unsure of our feelings
For one another? Wh--
272
00:10:56,270 --> 00:10:57,770
I love joe.
273
00:10:58,270 --> 00:10:59,280
And I love helen.
274
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:01,280
Yeah.
275
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:05,010
Really? Or are you just saying
That 'cause I said that?
No, no, really.
276
00:11:05,510 --> 00:11:06,550
But you never
Want to get married.
277
00:11:06,550 --> 00:11:08,050
We didn't say that.
No.
278
00:11:08,050 --> 00:11:10,050
We didn't say--
You're putting words
In our mouth
279
00:11:10,050 --> 00:11:11,550
And you're getting off
The subject.
280
00:11:11,550 --> 00:11:13,490
Oh, so you do want
To get married?
Marriage is...
281
00:11:13,490 --> 00:11:15,990
That-- the--the tradition
Of marriage...
282
00:11:15,990 --> 00:11:17,990
Helen?
I firmly believe that...
283
00:11:17,990 --> 00:11:19,800
[both stammering]
284
00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:21,360
Here we go again.
285
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:24,170
All right, damn it.
This is not about us.
Oh, sure it is.
286
00:11:24,170 --> 00:11:25,930
See, you don't want
Brian to get married
287
00:11:25,940 --> 00:11:28,700
Because it casts doubt
On your own relationship.
288
00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:30,710
Joe, is there something
Wrong with helen
289
00:11:30,710 --> 00:11:32,070
That keeps you
From proposing?
290
00:11:32,070 --> 00:11:33,240
Of course not.
291
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:34,740
What's wrong with me?
292
00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:36,110
Helen, there's nothing
Wrong with you.
293
00:11:36,110 --> 00:11:38,780
Then, why are you both
So afraid to make
A commitment?
294
00:11:39,050 --> 00:11:40,050
I'm not afraid.
Neither am I.
295
00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,020
All right then do it.
296
00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:44,520
Be spontaneous,
Put the fire back
In your relationship.
297
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,520
Joe, you've known her
For 20 years. You love her.
298
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,520
There is nothing
Keeping you
From proposing.
299
00:11:49,020 --> 00:11:51,260
Do you want
To marry her, joe?
Do you? Do you?
300
00:11:51,260 --> 00:11:52,760
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Ok, all right?
301
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,830
All right!
And helen, do you
Want to marry joe?
302
00:11:54,830 --> 00:11:57,430
Now, don't let him down.
Just, match his fire
With your own.
303
00:11:57,430 --> 00:11:58,940
Yes, I want to marry him.
304
00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:01,100
That's great!
305
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:02,710
Then we make it
A double ceremony
On sunday.
306
00:12:02,710 --> 00:12:04,570
Sunday, hah!
307
00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:05,570
Saturday!
308
00:12:05,570 --> 00:12:06,580
[brian exclaiming]
309
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,580
He's a maniac!
310
00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:11,980
[brian grunting]
311
00:12:12,980 --> 00:12:14,580
Hey, what's that
On your chin, brother?
312
00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:18,250
It's the juices of life,
Big guy.
313
00:12:28,430 --> 00:12:29,770
Hey.
314
00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:32,270
Getting married saturday.
315
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,140
I know.
316
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:39,640
What's today?
317
00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:40,640
Friday.
318
00:12:42,650 --> 00:12:44,150
Afternoon.
319
00:12:45,180 --> 00:12:46,680
How do you feel about it?
320
00:12:49,550 --> 00:12:51,050
[sighing]
Well,
321
00:12:51,550 --> 00:12:53,060
You know, I--I guess...
322
00:12:53,060 --> 00:12:54,060
I guess it's kind of--
You know--
323
00:12:54,060 --> 00:12:55,990
You don't want
To get married either?
No!
324
00:12:55,990 --> 00:12:58,490
Oh, thank god!
Thank god! Thank god!
325
00:12:58,490 --> 00:12:59,760
[laughing]
326
00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:02,200
You don't have to be
So relieved, joe.
Oh, no, helen.
327
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,070
It's just that, uh,
I think that we should go
At our own speed.
328
00:13:05,070 --> 00:13:06,400
Take it nice and slow.
Right.
329
00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:08,200
I can't believe
We let that woman
Talk us into this.
330
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:12,010
Yeah, we're not
Gonna get bullied into
Getting married by anyone.
331
00:13:12,010 --> 00:13:14,010
Uh, but I think
We should tell
Brian and gwen.
332
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:16,010
You tell gwen,
I'll tell brian.
333
00:13:16,010 --> 00:13:18,510
No, I'll tell brian,
You tell gwen.
334
00:13:19,580 --> 00:13:21,080
I don't want to.
335
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,080
I'm afraid of her.
336
00:13:23,390 --> 00:13:24,720
So am I.
337
00:13:25,020 --> 00:13:26,520
All right, then we'll
Tell her together.
338
00:13:32,260 --> 00:13:33,760
Uh, brian?
Yeah?
339
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:35,760
Have you and gwen
Decided where you're going
On your honeymoon?
340
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,270
Oh, well, uh,
Either a 24-day
Survival trek
341
00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:39,770
Across the kalahari,
342
00:13:39,770 --> 00:13:40,770
Or
343
00:13:41,770 --> 00:13:43,240
Disney world.
344
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,170
My, first husband
George and I had
An interesting honeymoon.
345
00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:48,180
We went to paris
And to athens.
346
00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:50,050
That's great, fay.
That's nice.
347
00:13:50,050 --> 00:13:53,450
Well, not exactly.
We went to paris, illinois
And athens, ohio.
348
00:13:54,450 --> 00:13:56,950
That was george's idea
Of a joke.
349
00:13:56,950 --> 00:13:59,860
I knew at that moment
I should have married
His brother.
350
00:14:03,860 --> 00:14:05,860
Well, kid, good luck.
[chuckles]
351
00:14:05,860 --> 00:14:07,860
These are your last
Few minutes of freedom.
352
00:14:07,860 --> 00:14:09,370
Thanks a lot, roy,
Thanks a lot.
353
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,370
And--and I'm sorry
We couldn't invite you
To the wedding.
354
00:14:11,370 --> 00:14:12,770
But we ran out of seats
On the plane--
355
00:14:12,770 --> 00:14:14,770
I'll just stand out
On the runway
356
00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:16,270
And see
If your chutes open.
357
00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:19,740
(joe)
Hey, brian.
358
00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:23,010
We got a big problem.
The minister just called,
He's come down with the flu.
359
00:14:23,010 --> 00:14:26,010
No, now where am I
Gonna find a minister
At the last minute?
360
00:14:26,010 --> 00:14:29,020
[clearing throat]
361
00:14:29,020 --> 00:14:32,820
Well, uh, I happen to be
A minister in the church
Of universal harmony.
362
00:14:34,590 --> 00:14:35,890
You're kidding.
No, no.
363
00:14:35,890 --> 00:14:38,390
I sent in the $25,
They sent me
A certificate.
364
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:40,900
It's a tax dodge.
365
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:43,370
Now, now, roy, really,
You--you can marry us?
366
00:14:43,370 --> 00:14:46,030
Oh, sure,
For a small donation.
367
00:14:46,030 --> 00:14:48,000
My church
Needs a new waterbed.
368
00:14:50,410 --> 00:14:51,370
Am I late for the wedding?
369
00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:53,640
Lowell, baby,
You are right on time!
370
00:14:53,910 --> 00:14:55,910
Good,
'cause I brought the rice.
371
00:14:56,410 --> 00:14:59,420
Uh, lowell,
The rice isn't
Supposed to be cooked.
372
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:03,220
How do you
Get it to stick?
373
00:15:05,350 --> 00:15:06,690
Here they come.
374
00:15:06,690 --> 00:15:09,090
Here comes the bride
375
00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:10,930
All dressed in--
376
00:15:10,930 --> 00:15:12,260
[microphone emitting feedback]
377
00:15:12,260 --> 00:15:13,200
Thanks, bro.
378
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,730
No problem.
379
00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:16,170
I really wish you
The best, gwen.
380
00:15:16,170 --> 00:15:17,530
Thanks.
381
00:15:17,530 --> 00:15:19,940
You know, I--I--I've always
Dreamed of my wedding day.
382
00:15:19,940 --> 00:15:21,940
Never did it involve
Walking down the aisle
383
00:15:21,940 --> 00:15:23,740
With a parachute
Strapped to my back.
384
00:15:23,740 --> 00:15:25,240
Well, helen,
You've had a parachute
385
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,180
Strapped to your back
Your whole life.
Now, shut up.
386
00:15:28,110 --> 00:15:29,380
What?
I'm sorry.
387
00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:31,380
Um, some people cry
At weddings.
I get bitchy.
388
00:15:40,790 --> 00:15:43,060
Ok, we're over
The drop area now.
389
00:15:43,060 --> 00:15:44,360
Yeah. Sorry.
390
00:15:44,590 --> 00:15:45,590
What are these for?
391
00:15:45,590 --> 00:15:48,660
Uh, gwen decided last night
That we'd incorporate
392
00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:51,900
Some of the rituals
From the coalachocti
Marriage ceremony.
393
00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:53,400
(gwen)
They're a stone age tribe
I lived with
394
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,700
In the rain forests
Of brazil.
395
00:15:54,940 --> 00:15:57,440
They believe
That we all have
An animal spirit guide
396
00:15:57,940 --> 00:15:59,070
That leads us
Through life.
397
00:15:59,070 --> 00:16:01,080
H-hoy! And I thought
My church was a crock.
398
00:16:02,610 --> 00:16:04,110
Where are your masks?
399
00:16:04,110 --> 00:16:07,680
Oh, the bride and the groom
Don't wear any.
Just the wedding party.
400
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,120
I don't want to be the frog.
I want to be the tiger.
401
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,360
Joe, you can't just change
Your animal spirit guide.
402
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:15,860
This is a fundamental part
Of us, that goes back
To the day we were born.
403
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:16,860
Right, gwen?
404
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,160
Nah, you can change,
If you want.
405
00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:22,300
Don't I get a mask?
406
00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:23,300
Sure, lowell.
407
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,300
Here, this is the toucan.
408
00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:27,470
It's the wisest creature
In the jungle.
409
00:16:27,470 --> 00:16:29,470
Ha, did you hear that?
410
00:16:29,470 --> 00:16:31,470
I'm the wisest.
411
00:16:31,470 --> 00:16:33,980
You have it on
Upside down, dear.
412
00:16:36,140 --> 00:16:38,650
Ok, roy,
Any time you're ready.
413
00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:41,180
(roy)
Uh-huh. We, uh,
414
00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:43,190
[clearing throat]
We--we are gathered here
415
00:16:43,190 --> 00:16:46,390
To witness
The joining together
Of 2 souls,
416
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,720
Brian michael hackett
417
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,730
And gwendolyn
Suzanne holmes.
418
00:16:50,730 --> 00:16:52,660
Uh, now, let me see here.
419
00:16:52,660 --> 00:16:56,600
According to the customs
In the coalachocti ceremony
420
00:16:56,600 --> 00:17:00,770
The guests should offer
Their jooja filled
With goat's milk
421
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:03,270
Or if they're not
From royal lineage
422
00:17:03,270 --> 00:17:06,280
Their ox bladder
Filled with river stones.
423
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,380
Oh, no, I feel like
Such an idiot.
424
00:17:09,380 --> 00:17:11,950
I got them a waffle iron.
425
00:17:11,950 --> 00:17:15,950
Now, the bridal couple
Should make public
To the tribe
426
00:17:15,950 --> 00:17:17,950
Their feelings
For each other.
427
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:23,230
I never feel more alive
Than when I'm with you.
428
00:17:23,230 --> 00:17:26,230
I never knew I was alive
Until I met you.
429
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,000
[whistling]
430
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:32,000
And now the bridal couple
Should take a few moments
431
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,440
To contemplate
The joining
Of their spirits
432
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,810
And the beginning
Of their new life together.
433
00:17:38,710 --> 00:17:40,210
Oh, gosh!
434
00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:43,210
Joe, that could be us.
435
00:17:48,220 --> 00:17:49,720
Are you sorry it's not?
436
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:52,720
I don't know.
437
00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:54,720
Maybe.
438
00:17:55,220 --> 00:17:56,730
Are you?
439
00:17:57,230 --> 00:17:58,230
I don't know.
440
00:17:59,230 --> 00:18:00,230
Kind of.
441
00:18:02,230 --> 00:18:03,730
It's not too late,
You know.
442
00:18:05,230 --> 00:18:06,230
What are you saying?
443
00:18:06,230 --> 00:18:07,240
Will you marry me?
444
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,740
Joe! Well, I think
We should--
445
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:10,740
[stammering]
No, no--
446
00:18:10,740 --> 00:18:13,240
For once in our lives,
Just don't think.
Let's just do it.
447
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:14,740
Oh, joe, it is
Kind of scary.
448
00:18:14,740 --> 00:18:16,750
I know, but that's what
Makes it exciting.
449
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:18,750
[laughing]
Ok.
What? What?
450
00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:20,180
Yes. Yes.
Yes?
451
00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:21,180
Really?
Yes.
452
00:18:26,050 --> 00:18:27,560
Uh,
453
00:18:28,060 --> 00:18:29,060
Reverend biggins,
454
00:18:30,060 --> 00:18:31,930
We want to get married too.
455
00:18:31,930 --> 00:18:34,260
Oh, look, if you don't wanna
Put the masks on again,
456
00:18:34,260 --> 00:18:35,260
Just say so.
457
00:18:36,470 --> 00:18:37,970
So what do you say roy?
458
00:18:37,970 --> 00:18:40,970
Well, that, uh,
Waterbed could use
Some satin sheets.
459
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,010
This is so romantic.
460
00:18:45,510 --> 00:18:48,010
Does the inside
Of your mask smell?
461
00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:54,650
And now, with the spirit
Of the great wahdooba...
462
00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:55,650
Oh, to hell with this.
463
00:18:55,650 --> 00:18:58,350
Helen, do you take joe
To be your lawfully
Wedded husband?
464
00:18:58,350 --> 00:18:59,350
I do.
465
00:18:59,350 --> 00:19:00,860
(roy)
Joe, do you take helen
466
00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:02,360
To be your
Lawfully wedded wife?
467
00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,060
I do.
468
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:08,060
Gwen, do you take brian
To be your lawfully
Wedded husband?
469
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,400
Gwen, are you--
Do you take--
470
00:19:11,670 --> 00:19:13,170
Uh, hold it,
Hold it, hold it. Uh.
471
00:19:14,170 --> 00:19:17,170
I'm getting
This weird feeling
In my gut.
472
00:19:17,670 --> 00:19:19,980
I'm getting
A weird feeling
In my gut.
473
00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:21,480
So am I.
474
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,650
Did you have helen's
Egg salad for lunch?
475
00:19:24,650 --> 00:19:26,150
Something's not right here.
476
00:19:27,650 --> 00:19:30,150
Look, if I followed
My instincts
To get into this
477
00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:32,660
Then I've got
To listen to 'em now.
478
00:19:32,650 --> 00:19:36,160
Brian, we pledged to live
Our lives spontaneously.
479
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,160
What is the most
Spontaneous thing
480
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,660
We could do at a wedding?
481
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,630
(both)
Not get married!
482
00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:44,400
Oh, I love this woman!
483
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,100
(joe)
Wait, wait, brian,
You can't do that.
484
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:48,100
No, don't-- don't--
You can't walk out
On your wedding.
485
00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:51,270
Those stupid schnooks,
They just don't get it.
486
00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:52,510
Race you to the ground.
487
00:19:54,010 --> 00:19:55,010
(joe)
Don't-- no!
488
00:19:55,010 --> 00:19:56,480
(helen)
Get back here!
489
00:20:02,850 --> 00:20:05,850
Anyway, by the power
Vested in me
490
00:20:05,850 --> 00:20:08,120
By the commonwealth
Of massachusetts--
H-h-hold it.
491
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:09,120
Hold it, hold it.
492
00:20:11,630 --> 00:20:13,130
Helen?
Me, either.
493
00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:16,130
Never mind.
494
00:20:19,430 --> 00:20:21,940
You know, my mask
Is starting to smell.
495
00:20:22,940 --> 00:20:24,440
Not bad, huh?
496
00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:39,590
Hmm, well, this has been
A full day.
497
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:41,860
It has, hasn't it?
498
00:20:43,860 --> 00:20:46,360
Joe, was gwen right
About our relationship?
499
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,360
Is our relationship
500
00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:50,370
(both)
Predictable?
501
00:20:52,370 --> 00:20:54,370
No way. Look at tonight.
502
00:20:54,370 --> 00:20:56,870
We were gonna
Order chinese food
And at the last minute
503
00:20:58,510 --> 00:21:00,010
Pizza.
[laughing]
504
00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:02,010
Is that the act
Of a predictable couple?
505
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:03,810
You're right.
I'm sorry I doubted us.
506
00:21:03,810 --> 00:21:05,310
[sighing]
Oh, boy!
507
00:21:05,310 --> 00:21:07,320
Hmm, just got
Off the phone
With gwen.
508
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,320
She is an incredible woman.
509
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:13,820
She's already on her way
To katmandu
To go bungee jumping.
510
00:21:13,820 --> 00:21:16,830
You ok, brian?
Oh, yeah, yeah,
I'm fine, I'm fine.
511
00:21:16,830 --> 00:21:18,830
Hey, we'll always
Have paris, huh?
512
00:21:19,830 --> 00:21:21,330
Hey, where are you going?
513
00:21:21,330 --> 00:21:23,330
I'm gonna go down
To the tin whistle.
Leave you 2 guys alone--
514
00:21:23,330 --> 00:21:24,930
Oh, no, you don't.
Come on.
515
00:21:24,930 --> 00:21:28,040
Sit down. The last time
You went out for a drink,
We almost got married.
516
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:29,440
(brian)
No, no, no, no.
517
00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:31,210
Ok, come on, brian,
You can't go now, look,
518
00:21:31,210 --> 00:21:32,740
We're just about to start
Samurai theater.
519
00:21:32,740 --> 00:21:35,580
Oh, I'm not in the mood.
I don't wanna...
Here it is. Look.
520
00:21:35,580 --> 00:21:36,950
I have a sword.
521
00:21:36,950 --> 00:21:38,450
I have a sword
522
00:21:38,450 --> 00:21:40,950
And I'm going
To stab you with it!
523
00:21:42,950 --> 00:21:44,450
Oh, yeah?
524
00:21:44,450 --> 00:21:45,950
Yeah.
525
00:21:45,950 --> 00:21:48,390
[laughing]
Hey, we're good at this.
526
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:49,890
You're making
A mockery of my art.
527
00:21:49,890 --> 00:21:51,890
[door closing]
Now watch the master.
528
00:21:54,460 --> 00:21:57,070
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
529
00:21:57,070 --> 00:21:58,330
Other side!
530
00:21:58,330 --> 00:21:59,330
Row, row,
Row your boat
531
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,640
You, with the ponytail,
You're not singing.
532
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,610
(brian using multiple voices)
This is the last time,
I book a discount cruise.
533
00:22:05,110 --> 00:22:07,080
Ah, quit your complaining.
We got the lido deck,
534
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:08,740
Are those steaks tender, yet?
535
00:22:08,740 --> 00:22:10,040
Almost.
536
00:22:10,050 --> 00:22:11,710
Hey, I got a joke for you.
537
00:22:11,710 --> 00:22:13,050
Oh, this ought to be funny.
538
00:22:13,050 --> 00:22:14,550
Went to my dentist
The other day,
539
00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:16,050
I said, "Doc,
My teeth are yellow."
540
00:22:16,050 --> 00:22:17,550
He said,
"So wear a brown tie."
541
00:22:18,990 --> 00:22:20,390
Well, he's no
Henny youngman.
40231
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