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1
00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:04,520
Hey, roy,
Got a minute?
2
00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:05,520
No.
Great.
3
00:00:06,020 --> 00:00:07,520
I've been practicing
Some impressions
4
00:00:08,020 --> 00:00:09,530
For the lions club
Talent show
5
00:00:09,530 --> 00:00:11,030
And I just want to
Try 'em out on you.
6
00:00:11,030 --> 00:00:14,030
Why don't you do
An impression of
Someone leaving a room?
7
00:00:14,030 --> 00:00:15,530
Are you ready? Ok.
8
00:00:16,030 --> 00:00:17,530
[phone ringing]
9
00:00:17,530 --> 00:00:19,540
[sighing]
10
00:00:19,540 --> 00:00:22,740
[speaking gruffly]
Hi. I'm jack benny.
11
00:00:22,740 --> 00:00:27,040
Lowell, that is the worst
Impersonation of jack benny
I've ever seen.
12
00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,050
But you knew
Who it was.
13
00:00:29,050 --> 00:00:31,050
Ok, who's this?
14
00:00:31,050 --> 00:00:33,550
[people chattering]
15
00:00:33,550 --> 00:00:35,050
[speaking gruffly]
Hi. I'm bette davis.
16
00:00:35,550 --> 00:00:37,050
Oh, geez.
17
00:00:37,050 --> 00:00:39,190
No, wait, wait.
That was katharine hepburn.
18
00:00:39,190 --> 00:00:41,290
I'm always gettin'
The 2 of 'em mixed up.
19
00:00:41,290 --> 00:00:42,760
Ok, here, try again.
20
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,160
[speaking gruffly]
Hi. I'm bette davis.
21
00:00:45,530 --> 00:00:46,660
Roy!
22
00:00:49,170 --> 00:00:51,170
[seagulls cawing]
23
00:01:55,030 --> 00:01:56,530
Just about done
With that, lowell?
24
00:01:56,530 --> 00:01:59,540
I'll be through
In a jiff, joe.
25
00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:01,870
You know, joe,
The lord has blessed me.
26
00:02:01,870 --> 00:02:03,140
Oh, yeah?
How's that, lowell?
27
00:02:03,140 --> 00:02:05,140
I've got
A beautiful wife.
28
00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:08,650
Sometimes I just like
To lie in bed
And watch her sleep.
29
00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:11,150
Her face bathed
In moonlight,
30
00:02:11,150 --> 00:02:14,150
Her hair cascading
Across her pillow,
31
00:02:14,150 --> 00:02:18,450
Her breasts rising and falling
Under the covers.
32
00:02:18,450 --> 00:02:20,460
You ever do that, joe?
33
00:02:20,460 --> 00:02:21,990
You mean
With a girlfriend?
34
00:02:21,990 --> 00:02:23,490
No! I mean with my wife!
35
00:02:25,260 --> 00:02:27,660
The guys told me you were
Lookin' at her funny
36
00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:30,170
The other day when
She came to pick me up.
37
00:02:30,170 --> 00:02:31,670
Lowell, no.
38
00:02:31,670 --> 00:02:33,500
Believe me. No.
39
00:02:33,770 --> 00:02:35,270
I'm sorry, joe.
40
00:02:35,270 --> 00:02:37,770
I guess I'm just
A jealous fool.
41
00:02:37,770 --> 00:02:40,280
Now, just forget
I said anything about it,
42
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,950
Especially the part
About her heaving breasts.
43
00:02:42,950 --> 00:02:44,480
And, uh,
44
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,480
Joe, could you hand me
That crescent wrench
Down there?
45
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,480
Yeah, sure.
46
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,850
Oh, god! I knew
I shouldn't have done that.
47
00:02:50,850 --> 00:02:53,790
Aha! So the truth comes out,
You home wrecker!
48
00:02:55,190 --> 00:02:56,690
No, lowell,
It's my back.
49
00:02:56,690 --> 00:02:58,700
Oh. Well, thank god.
50
00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:02,200
Let me help you up.
51
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,600
Hey, joe. Are we on
For that 5 k run
In the morning?
52
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,540
Uh, my back's
Gone out again.
53
00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:08,040
Oh! You ok?
54
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:10,470
Ok, don't make
Any sudden moves.
55
00:03:10,470 --> 00:03:12,880
All right,
I'm gonna go for help.
56
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,880
Hey, lowell.
Yeah?
57
00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:16,180
Your shoe's untied.
58
00:03:16,180 --> 00:03:18,480
Hah! Not fallin'
For that old trick.
59
00:03:21,420 --> 00:03:22,920
Uh, thanks, joe.
60
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:25,860
Ok, can you
Stand up, honey?
61
00:03:25,860 --> 00:03:28,860
Oh, no. I--I don't think so.
I'm--I'm closer to the floor.
Why don't we go there?
62
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,860
No, no, wait, wait,
Wait, wait. Bad idea.
63
00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:32,860
Oh, the floor's too hard
For your back?
64
00:03:32,860 --> 00:03:35,200
No. These are new pants.
65
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,470
Oh, for heaven's sakes!
66
00:03:37,470 --> 00:03:38,470
[groaning]
67
00:03:41,470 --> 00:03:42,970
[grunting]
68
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:44,670
Be easy.
69
00:03:45,170 --> 00:03:46,180
[groaning]
70
00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:47,680
Let me help you.
71
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,580
[groaning]
72
00:03:53,950 --> 00:03:57,290
Whoa, don't you kids
Have a home?
73
00:03:57,290 --> 00:04:00,620
I mean, the least
You can do is
Use the desk in the office.
74
00:04:00,890 --> 00:04:01,890
Joe's back went out.
75
00:04:01,890 --> 00:04:03,890
Yeah, I'll bet it did.
76
00:04:04,390 --> 00:04:07,300
All right, well, let's get
This big baby inside, ok?
77
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,300
Ow! Ow!
What's wrong?
78
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:11,530
[gasps]
What happened?
79
00:04:11,530 --> 00:04:14,040
Well, joe's back went out
And brian tried to move him.
80
00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:15,940
Oh, no, moving him
Could really hurt.
81
00:04:15,940 --> 00:04:16,940
We should get some ice
For his back.
82
00:04:16,940 --> 00:04:20,280
Uh, no, you only apply ice
After you apply moist heat.
83
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:23,110
Maybe someone should
Take me to the hospital.
No, it's ice, then heat.
84
00:04:23,380 --> 00:04:24,810
No, it's heat, then ice.
85
00:04:24,810 --> 00:04:28,180
Are you sure
You just don't breathe
Into a brown paper bag?
86
00:04:29,950 --> 00:04:31,690
You know, maybe we should
Take him to a chiropractor.
87
00:04:31,690 --> 00:04:34,020
[razzing]
No, what he really needs
Is some acupuncture.
88
00:04:34,020 --> 00:04:35,530
Uh, the hospital--
(roy)
Acupuncture?
89
00:04:35,990 --> 00:04:37,990
Why don't we just wave
A dead chicken over him?
90
00:04:37,990 --> 00:04:39,430
(helen)
Let's just get a consensus...
91
00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:41,430
(brian)
Why don't we just take him
To a general practitioner?
92
00:04:41,430 --> 00:04:42,930
(roy)
A general practitioner?
93
00:04:42,930 --> 00:04:44,000
You know what
That's gonna cost?
94
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,500
[all chattering]
95
00:04:55,010 --> 00:04:56,580
(helen)
Oh, cheer up, joe.
96
00:04:56,580 --> 00:04:59,080
Few days bed rest
And you'll be
As good as new.
97
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,580
Yeah, but why traction?
98
00:05:00,580 --> 00:05:03,690
Because the doctor said
That's the fastest way
For you to get better.
99
00:05:03,690 --> 00:05:06,690
Besides, you look so handsome
In a hospital gown.
100
00:05:07,690 --> 00:05:09,190
Especially from behind.
101
00:05:11,690 --> 00:05:14,200
Don't touch me, helen.
I'm sterile.
102
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,300
On behalf of all the women
Of childbearing age,
103
00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:20,440
Thank god.
104
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:21,870
Where'd you
Get those, brian?
105
00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:24,270
Borrowed these
From a locked closet.
106
00:05:24,610 --> 00:05:26,610
Well, I've got to get
Back to the counter
Before lunch.
107
00:05:26,610 --> 00:05:28,610
I left lowell in charge.
108
00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:31,610
Last time I did that,
He sucked all the pimentos
Out of the olives.
109
00:05:32,110 --> 00:05:33,620
See you tonight.
Bye.
110
00:05:35,050 --> 00:05:38,390
[sighing]
She thought it was lowell.
111
00:05:38,690 --> 00:05:40,690
I can't be here.
I've got an airline to run.
112
00:05:40,690 --> 00:05:42,660
Joe, just stop it.
Just relax, will you?
113
00:05:42,660 --> 00:05:45,960
Just stay where you are.
Relax. I will take care
Of everything. Trust me.
114
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,970
Brian, the last time
You said, "Trust me,"
I wound up naked on I-95,
115
00:05:48,970 --> 00:05:51,570
Tryin' to flag down
Oncoming traffic.
116
00:05:51,570 --> 00:05:54,300
But who pulled over
For you?
117
00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:57,740
Excuse me. Hi.
Uh, I'm new here.
118
00:05:57,740 --> 00:05:59,080
Would you be
Dr. Heilbron?
119
00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:02,880
Yes, I am. And, nurse,
I want this patient
Shaved immediately.
120
00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:05,550
Look, brian...
121
00:06:05,550 --> 00:06:07,120
Well, I don't know,
Doctor.
122
00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,620
I've never shaved
Anyone before.
123
00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:12,920
I--I thought I was just
Gonna pass out, you know,
Magazines and candy bars.
124
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,660
Well, as soon as
You finish shaving him,
Just give him a butterfinger.
125
00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:17,660
Brian...
126
00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:19,160
Shave him
From head to toe.
127
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:21,160
I want him as smooth
As the day he was born.
128
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,170
Brian--
I don't know
Where I'm goin' in yet,
129
00:06:23,170 --> 00:06:25,830
And, uh, I like to
Keep my options open.
130
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,340
Yes, doctor.
131
00:06:28,340 --> 00:06:29,840
So, joe, you were sayin'?
There, you see?
132
00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:32,340
Tha-- brian, that is exactly
The kind of immaturity
Come on.
133
00:06:32,340 --> 00:06:35,340
And irresponsibility
I'm talkin' about. You don't
Take anything seriously.
134
00:06:35,340 --> 00:06:37,650
You know, joe,
I've been on call
For 48 hours straight,
135
00:06:37,910 --> 00:06:39,780
Did 5 gall bladders
This morning,
136
00:06:39,780 --> 00:06:42,080
I'm surrounded by the stench
Of disease and death.
137
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:45,450
Excuse me if I just want
To laugh, just a little.
138
00:06:45,450 --> 00:06:47,220
All right, shut up
And get me down from this.
139
00:06:47,220 --> 00:06:49,430
All right, all right.
Joe, come on, now, look--
Whoa!
140
00:06:49,430 --> 00:06:52,430
There's a sound
That'll bring a grown man
To his knees, huh?
141
00:06:52,930 --> 00:06:55,430
Come on, seriously,
I know I goof around
A lot, ok?
142
00:06:55,430 --> 00:06:58,570
But you need me now
And I wanna come through
For you.
143
00:06:58,570 --> 00:07:01,070
Well, it's not like I have
A choice. All right. Ok.
Right.
144
00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:02,370
Well, let me brief you.
All right.
145
00:07:02,370 --> 00:07:03,870
There's a schedule
Of all my daily activities
146
00:07:03,870 --> 00:07:06,380
In the bottom right-hand
Drawer of the desk.
Mmm-hmm.
147
00:07:06,380 --> 00:07:08,380
It's filed under
"S" for schedule.
Sub-headed "D" for daily.
148
00:07:08,380 --> 00:07:10,880
Now, the beauty
Of that system is--
Joe, joe, joe, joe.
149
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,880
I'm sure your system
Is as wonderfully efficient
150
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,390
As it is excruciatingly
Self-explanatory.
151
00:07:15,380 --> 00:07:17,390
Everything is gonna be
Just fine.
152
00:07:17,890 --> 00:07:19,360
Ok.
153
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:20,260
Brian?
What?
154
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:21,960
Thanks.
155
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,730
Forget it, ok. Just--
Just take it easy, brother.
All right?
156
00:07:24,730 --> 00:07:26,160
[kisses]
Behave!
157
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,700
Goodbye.
Bye.
158
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,700
[woman on p.A. Chattering]
159
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,870
Now,
160
00:07:34,870 --> 00:07:38,370
I haven't ever actually
Handled a straight-edged
Razor before,
161
00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:39,880
But, if you just
Bear with me--
162
00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:42,380
No, uh, no, wait. You know,
You don't understand.
163
00:07:42,380 --> 00:07:45,580
He was not a real doctor.
That's my--
It's my first time, too.
164
00:07:45,580 --> 00:07:46,550
We're both nervous.
165
00:07:46,980 --> 00:07:48,990
No. No, no, no, no!
You get that
Away from me!
166
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:50,990
Nurse! Nurse!
167
00:07:51,490 --> 00:07:52,490
Nurse!
168
00:07:55,490 --> 00:07:56,960
(brian)
We've come up with an idea
169
00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:01,360
That we feel sure that you
And your students could
Really go for, mr. Greely.
170
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:04,370
Right. We are aiming for
A guinness world record.
171
00:08:04,370 --> 00:08:05,870
The most high school
Band members
172
00:08:05,870 --> 00:08:08,370
Stuffed into
A twin-engine cessna.
173
00:08:08,370 --> 00:08:09,870
That's right.
174
00:08:09,870 --> 00:08:11,870
Now, it'll be
Great publicity
For sandpiper air
175
00:08:11,870 --> 00:08:13,880
And it'll give the kids
Memories that they'll cherish
176
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,610
For the rest of
Their lives, you know?
177
00:08:15,610 --> 00:08:17,110
Hmm.
178
00:08:17,110 --> 00:08:18,110
W-what? You...
179
00:08:18,110 --> 00:08:19,620
You wanna bring
The mascot along?
180
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,620
The band mascot is fine.
The more the merrier.
181
00:08:21,620 --> 00:08:24,620
[laughing]
Ok. See you after school.
182
00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:26,120
How was the flight, kenny?
Ah, great, sir.
183
00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,120
And I finished handing out
The promotional gifts
184
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:29,690
To the passengers
Like you asked.
185
00:08:29,690 --> 00:08:31,690
Hmm, not a bad idea, hey?
186
00:08:31,690 --> 00:08:34,160
Oh, if I may
Say so, sir,
187
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:37,900
Painting crabs
With the sandpiper logo
Was a stroke of genius.
188
00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:38,870
An inspired campaign.
189
00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:41,800
Ah! Empty flattery.
I like that
In an underling.
190
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,740
[knocking on door]
Thank you, sir.
191
00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,110
Hi, guys.
192
00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:46,610
(kenny)
Hey, miss chapel.
193
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,110
Have you seen our new
Promotional gimmick?
194
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:50,610
Ah! Blob of paint
On the back of a crab.
195
00:08:50,610 --> 00:08:52,620
That'd make me
Fly your airline.
196
00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:54,050
That is not
A blob of paint.
197
00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:55,920
That is a sandpiper. Huh?
198
00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:57,920
Hmm.
199
00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:59,920
Well, you try painting
A moving crab.
200
00:09:01,190 --> 00:09:02,530
Brian, I've got
A gimmick for you.
201
00:09:02,530 --> 00:09:04,390
Great. I like
Hearin' new ideas.
202
00:09:04,390 --> 00:09:06,660
Let's toss it around,
See if it makes salad.
203
00:09:06,660 --> 00:09:09,570
Why don't you load
All the passengers
Onto the plane,
204
00:09:09,570 --> 00:09:12,070
Mmm-hmm.
And then fly them
Where they wanna go?
205
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:15,700
That has been done
To death, helen.
206
00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:19,210
See, I am looking
For fresh concepts.
207
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:20,710
New ideas.
It's incredible.
208
00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:24,750
The floodgates are opening.
The ideas are flowing.
Kenny?
209
00:09:24,750 --> 00:09:27,250
Wings on the sides
Of planes. Why?
210
00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:29,120
Write it down.
Write it all down.
Got it, sir.
211
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,620
Oh, get a load
Of my master stroke.
212
00:09:31,620 --> 00:09:34,620
I've arranged
A little promotional junket
For a group of travel agents
213
00:09:34,620 --> 00:09:36,630
From the largest
Agency in boston.
214
00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:37,630
An all-expense-paid trip
215
00:09:38,130 --> 00:09:40,630
To our charming and historic
Island of nantucket,
216
00:09:40,630 --> 00:09:43,030
Courtesy of sandpiper air.
217
00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:45,540
In fact, I believe
That fay is escorting
Their well-fed bodies
218
00:09:45,530 --> 00:09:48,040
Through our
Cobblestone streets,
As we speak.
219
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:49,510
Brian, how can you
Afford that?
220
00:09:49,940 --> 00:09:52,940
Afford? Come on.
See, see, that's joe talk.
Don't you get it?
221
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:55,450
We butter up
These travel agents,
We show 'em a good time,
222
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,450
And then they send
All their business to us.
223
00:09:57,450 --> 00:09:58,510
(kenny)
Excuse me, mr. Hackett.
224
00:09:58,510 --> 00:10:01,050
Does "Joe talk"
Have quotes around it?
225
00:10:01,050 --> 00:10:03,020
It's your call, kid.
226
00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:05,220
I'm calling joe.
227
00:10:05,220 --> 00:10:07,090
No. Helen, helen, helen,
Please. Now, look,
228
00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:09,430
I know I'm not
Real well-known for
Coming through on things,
229
00:10:09,430 --> 00:10:11,430
But I wanna prove to joe
That I can do this.
230
00:10:11,930 --> 00:10:14,360
I wanna prove to myself
That I can do this.
231
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,370
Have you considered
You might be getting in
Over your head a little here?
232
00:10:17,870 --> 00:10:20,470
You--you really have
That little confidence
In my ability?
233
00:10:20,470 --> 00:10:22,470
"That little" implies
That I have some.
234
00:10:22,470 --> 00:10:23,940
I have none.
235
00:10:23,940 --> 00:10:26,380
Brian, I'm back
With the travel agents.
236
00:10:26,380 --> 00:10:29,250
They had
A wonderful time.
237
00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:32,780
Seldom in life
Does one achieve
Such immediate vindication.
238
00:10:32,780 --> 00:10:33,780
Kenny!
239
00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:35,780
Go warm up the plane
And start your pre-flight.
240
00:10:35,780 --> 00:10:37,290
Aye, aye, sir.
241
00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:39,290
I never doubted you
For a minute.
242
00:10:41,290 --> 00:10:42,790
Kid's a natural suck-up.
243
00:10:44,290 --> 00:10:47,300
So, they all had
A really nice time, huh?
244
00:10:47,300 --> 00:10:49,800
Oh, yes. They enjoyed
The cranberry bog,
245
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,300
Mmm-hmm.
And the whaling museum.
246
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:55,040
But they really loved it
When I took them through
Herman melville's house.
247
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,840
Fay, herman melville
Never lived on nantucket.
248
00:10:58,570 --> 00:10:59,710
He didn't?
249
00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:04,480
Well, that
Certainly explains
250
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,980
Why that lady
In the towel
Was screaming at us.
251
00:11:09,490 --> 00:11:11,490
Ok, ok, ok. So you pulled
This one thing off.
252
00:11:11,490 --> 00:11:13,790
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
And who knows,
253
00:11:13,790 --> 00:11:16,790
Maybe some of the things
That I've set in motion
Will actually pan out,
254
00:11:16,790 --> 00:11:19,300
And maybe by the time
Joe gets back here,
255
00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:22,300
Sandpiper will no longer
Be a one-plane operation.
256
00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:24,530
Mr. Hackett!
The plane's missing!
257
00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:25,900
See?
258
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:37,680
What do you mean,
The plane is missing?
259
00:11:38,180 --> 00:11:40,320
Well, it was out
On the tarmac
A few minutes ago,
260
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,220
But--but now it's gone.
261
00:11:41,550 --> 00:11:43,890
Well, then the plane
Can't be missing, bubbala.
262
00:11:45,690 --> 00:11:48,690
Oh, my mom's
Always complaining
That I'm losing things.
263
00:11:48,690 --> 00:11:49,690
First my jacket
At the park,
264
00:11:49,690 --> 00:11:52,200
Then my baseball glove,
Now the plane.
265
00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:55,200
The plane is missing!
266
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:58,170
Oh! You lost
The plane?
267
00:11:58,170 --> 00:11:59,900
No, I--I...
You lost joe's plane?
268
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:01,270
How could you
Lose the plane, brian?
269
00:12:01,270 --> 00:12:03,840
Tell me, how could you
Lose a plane?
270
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:06,440
What did I ever
See in you?
271
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:08,440
Brian, do you want
To say a few words
272
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:09,780
To the travel agents
Before they leave?
273
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:11,210
Ah... No.
274
00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:13,350
Uh, then I should go ahead
And start loading them.
275
00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:14,780
Mmm. No.
276
00:12:15,180 --> 00:12:16,690
Are we having a problem?
277
00:12:16,690 --> 00:12:18,190
Actually, fay--
Uh, actually,
278
00:12:18,190 --> 00:12:20,190
Kenny ate one of helen's
Clam burritos for lunch
279
00:12:20,190 --> 00:12:22,190
And he's payin' the piper
Right now.
280
00:12:24,090 --> 00:12:25,700
Now, listen, fay,
281
00:12:25,690 --> 00:12:27,700
I really need you
To stall these people
Out there.
282
00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:30,900
Why don't you sing them
One of your irish
Folk songs, hmm?
283
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,400
I think I can be
A little more clever
Than that.
284
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,410
Ok, kenny, I want you
To hop on your bike.
285
00:12:36,410 --> 00:12:39,940
I want you to turn
This airport upside down.
We've got to find that plane.
286
00:12:39,940 --> 00:12:41,740
Yes, sir.
And, kenny,
287
00:12:41,740 --> 00:12:43,010
I don't wanna put
Any pressure on you,
288
00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:44,510
But you lost it,
You find it.
289
00:12:44,510 --> 00:12:47,520
Or else I'll hunt you down
And I will kill you!
290
00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:52,690
Helen, helen,
Helen, helen!
291
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:54,690
You're not gonna
Call joe, are you?
292
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:56,690
What, and tell him
You lost the plane?
Are you out of your mind?
293
00:12:56,690 --> 00:12:58,690
You want me to give him
A heart attack?
294
00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,700
All I can tell you,
Buddy, is you better
Find the plane,
295
00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:02,800
And find it fast!
Ok.
296
00:13:03,270 --> 00:13:06,370
(fay)
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo
297
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,370
Real fast.
298
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,340
It's a big plane.
Has to be here somewhere.
299
00:13:14,340 --> 00:13:15,340
[sighing]
300
00:13:15,340 --> 00:13:19,850
Look, I know I probably
Don't deserve this,
301
00:13:19,850 --> 00:13:22,850
But if you just give me
A few minutes of peace,
302
00:13:22,850 --> 00:13:24,350
I can really
Sort this out.
303
00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:25,750
[knocking on door]
304
00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:27,760
(fay)
...Irish lullaby
305
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:28,760
Hi.
306
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,630
Inspector hanson
From the f.A.A.
307
00:13:31,630 --> 00:13:33,630
A little
Spot inspection.
308
00:13:34,130 --> 00:13:35,630
Surprise.
309
00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:41,200
Thanks. Exactly
What I had in mind.
310
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:44,210
Oh, danny boy
311
00:13:44,210 --> 00:13:47,210
Oh, danny boy
312
00:13:47,210 --> 00:13:50,810
I love you so
313
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,020
Helen, helen,
I just checked
Every hangar.
314
00:13:55,020 --> 00:13:56,520
I checked every corner
Of the airport.
315
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,320
It's not here.
The plane is not here.
316
00:13:58,590 --> 00:14:01,220
Well, did you--
The plane is not here!
317
00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:02,990
Hey, hackett.
What?
318
00:14:03,490 --> 00:14:04,490
You're the one
Who arranged
319
00:14:04,990 --> 00:14:06,500
This little junket
For us, right?
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
320
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:08,500
Well, we've heard
Molly malone sing
321
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:11,470
Every irish ditty
Since the potato famine.
322
00:14:11,470 --> 00:14:12,700
Now, when are we
Getting out of here?
323
00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:14,470
Very soon, sir.
Very soon.
324
00:14:14,470 --> 00:14:16,470
If just bear with me,
Just for a few minutes.
A few minutes.
325
00:14:16,970 --> 00:14:18,470
Roy,
326
00:14:18,470 --> 00:14:19,980
You got any extra seats
On your 4:15 to boston?
Mmm-mmm.
327
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:21,980
Why? What's wrong?
Oh, nothing.
328
00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:25,080
Mr. Hackett.
Excuse me.
329
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,080
Mr. Hackett, if I don't
Get on your plane
330
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,080
To inspect your pilot's log
In 10 minutes,
331
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:32,090
You'll be facing
A possible suspension,
A stiff fine,
332
00:14:32,090 --> 00:14:33,260
Or both.
333
00:14:33,260 --> 00:14:35,020
Sir, I told you
It is on its way.
334
00:14:35,020 --> 00:14:38,030
My pilot is encountering
Some heavy headwinds
From martha's vineyard.
335
00:14:38,030 --> 00:14:40,530
In fact,
He's actually lost ground
In the last 5 minutes.
336
00:14:41,030 --> 00:14:44,900
Mr. Hackett,
Are you blowing sunshine
Up the government's skirt?
337
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:46,400
No, no, no, no, no.
338
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,400
[stuttering]
Let me buy you
A cup of coffee.
339
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:50,910
No, thank you.
Oh, really?
Well, that's too bad
340
00:14:50,910 --> 00:14:52,410
'cause that cute blonde
Behind the counter
341
00:14:52,410 --> 00:14:55,410
Keeps asking me
Who's the blade
In the power tie.
342
00:14:57,180 --> 00:14:59,180
Really?
Absolutely, oh. Enjoy.
343
00:14:59,180 --> 00:15:01,680
Brian, bri-- I--I don't
Understand this.
344
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,550
Why haven't we
Taken off yet?
345
00:15:03,550 --> 00:15:05,890
Fay, fay, fay,
The travel agents
Can't know this,
346
00:15:06,390 --> 00:15:08,290
[whispering]
But the plane is missing.
347
00:15:08,620 --> 00:15:10,030
The plane's missing?
348
00:15:10,030 --> 00:15:12,690
Their plane's missing.
Oh, this is even better
Than I thought.
349
00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:14,260
Your plane is missing?
350
00:15:14,260 --> 00:15:16,400
Oh, no. You know,
I don't know how
These rumors get started.
351
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:19,400
We're just doing
A--a small, little
Pre-flight safety adjustment.
352
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,370
Now, if you'd like me
To bypass that...
353
00:15:21,370 --> 00:15:23,810
No, no, l-look, just--
Just--just step on it.
Fine, fine.
354
00:15:23,810 --> 00:15:26,310
Thank you very much
For your patience. Thank you.
You all look great.
355
00:15:26,310 --> 00:15:28,310
Fay, I want you
To get on the horn
Right now.
356
00:15:28,310 --> 00:15:29,810
I want you to see
If you can rent a plane.
357
00:15:29,810 --> 00:15:32,580
But don't let anybody
Know what we're doin',
Otherwise we're dead meat.
358
00:15:32,580 --> 00:15:34,680
What do you mean,
"We," paleface?
359
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:36,520
(lowell)
Psst, brian.
360
00:15:36,950 --> 00:15:38,950
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
What is it, lowell?
361
00:15:38,950 --> 00:15:40,960
Your problems are over.
You found my plane?
362
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:41,960
Even better.
363
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,460
Brian hackett,
Meet peggy mccloskey.
364
00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:45,960
Housewife, town psychic.
365
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:49,470
Oh, no.
You didn't bring me
A psychic. Lowell!
366
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:52,470
Mr. Hackett,
I'm no charlatan.
367
00:15:52,470 --> 00:15:54,970
I'm just
An ordinary housewife
With paranormal powers
368
00:15:54,970 --> 00:15:57,440
I can neither explain
Nor control.
369
00:15:57,870 --> 00:15:59,880
What the hell?
What the hell?
370
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,510
Do you know
Where my plane is?
371
00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:03,510
Let me see.
372
00:16:03,510 --> 00:16:05,010
Now, the plane
Was once in your hangar.
373
00:16:05,010 --> 00:16:08,520
Whoa! Has she stepped over
From the other side or what?
374
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,520
I need to feel something
That's been in the plane.
375
00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:17,030
Brian's been
In the plane.
376
00:16:18,030 --> 00:16:19,030
Perfect.
377
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,230
Attention, weary travelers.
378
00:16:24,230 --> 00:16:27,270
Tired of waiting for flights
That never leave?
379
00:16:27,270 --> 00:16:30,670
Fly aeromass's
Comfort service to boston.
380
00:16:31,010 --> 00:16:33,510
The plane's
Right outside the gate.
You can see it. There it is.
381
00:16:33,510 --> 00:16:37,150
Folks, folks, folks, folks,
Please, please, please,
Don't go.
382
00:16:37,150 --> 00:16:39,110
Well, give us
One good reason
Why we shouldn't.
383
00:16:39,110 --> 00:16:40,620
One of his pilots
Is narcoleptic
384
00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:42,620
And this man
Constantly denies it.
385
00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:44,120
He's lying!
See!
386
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,620
The cover-up continues.
Phenomenal.
Just have a seat.
387
00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:48,590
All of you, your flight
Will be leaving shortly.
388
00:16:48,990 --> 00:16:49,990
Mr. Hackett.
389
00:16:49,990 --> 00:16:51,490
Did you it?
You find the plane?
390
00:16:51,490 --> 00:16:55,000
Oh, no, but I hit
A huge pothole
Out on the taxiway.
391
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,500
Man, I really
Trashed my bike.
392
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:57,970
Oh, dear,
I better have a look.
393
00:16:58,470 --> 00:17:01,470
If you ever expect
To get another booking
From my travel agency,
394
00:17:01,470 --> 00:17:04,510
You'd better get us out
Of this damn terminal.
395
00:17:04,510 --> 00:17:07,210
And miss the floor show?
It's just about to begin.
396
00:17:07,210 --> 00:17:08,210
Ow! Not the iodine.
397
00:17:08,710 --> 00:17:09,710
It stings! It stings!
398
00:17:09,710 --> 00:17:11,710
If you travel with me,
399
00:17:11,710 --> 00:17:14,820
You don't have to go
Through the metal detector.
400
00:17:14,820 --> 00:17:17,820
Ladies and gentlemen,
The sandpiper v.I.P. Lounge
401
00:17:17,820 --> 00:17:20,820
Is proud to present
The exotic musical stylings
402
00:17:20,820 --> 00:17:22,320
Oh!
Of helen chapel
403
00:17:22,820 --> 00:17:24,330
And her enchanted cello.
404
00:17:24,730 --> 00:17:26,090
Brian, what are you--
Helen, you just have to
405
00:17:26,090 --> 00:17:27,600
Help me stall
For a few minutes.
No, I don't.
406
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:29,600
Yes, you do.
No, I don't.
407
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,100
Well, then, fine.
You'll just see joe
On conjugal visits. Fine.
408
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:32,600
What're you
Talking about?
Don't you see?
409
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:35,100
He finds out about this,
He kills me,
Goes to prison,
410
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:37,610
And then you'll only
See him once a month
In those sweaty old trailers.
411
00:17:37,610 --> 00:17:39,340
Is that what you want?
That's fine.
What?
412
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,840
Look, helen, helen,
Helen, please.
If our relationship
413
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:43,350
Means anything to you...
414
00:17:45,310 --> 00:17:46,720
Ok.
415
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,220
I love you.
416
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,720
Oh, and, uh, don't play
Any of that classical stuff.
417
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,790
You know,
Keep it peppy, pep...
418
00:17:53,290 --> 00:17:54,790
Hi. Hi.
419
00:17:54,790 --> 00:17:57,290
Oyster crackers. Take one.
Pass 'em on. Oyster crackers.
420
00:17:57,290 --> 00:17:58,790
Any requests?
421
00:17:58,790 --> 00:18:00,800
How about the theme song
From missing?
422
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,600
I'm sorry, brian.
Don't tell me that.
423
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,600
I talked to
Every rental outfit
On the island.
424
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,400
[cello playing]
There are no planes
For rent.
425
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,100
Oh, god.
426
00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:12,840
But if you ever need to
Rent a dialysis machine,
I know just the place.
427
00:18:12,980 --> 00:18:14,240
I had just stepped
Out of the shower
428
00:18:14,740 --> 00:18:15,740
When I heard
These voices
429
00:18:15,740 --> 00:18:18,750
Saying something
About moby-dick.
430
00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:19,750
There they are!
431
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:22,250
They're the ones
That broke into my house.
432
00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:23,790
And there's the ringleader.
433
00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:25,790
Uh, I'm--I'm not taking
The rap for this, brian.
434
00:18:25,790 --> 00:18:28,460
Uh, officer, I can
Explain everything.
435
00:18:28,460 --> 00:18:29,960
No...
436
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:31,590
[band playing]
437
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,960
Almost everything.
438
00:18:38,770 --> 00:18:40,770
[whistle blowing]
439
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,870
Hello. I'm mr. Greely,
440
00:18:43,870 --> 00:18:45,640
Director of
The siasconset high
Marching mules.
441
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:47,340
Hackett,
What is goin' on here?
442
00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:49,040
Think I forgot
To make a phone call.
443
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:49,980
Where's the plane?
444
00:18:50,350 --> 00:18:52,350
Ah, that seems to be
The question of the day.
445
00:18:52,350 --> 00:18:53,850
It will be here shortly.
446
00:18:53,850 --> 00:18:56,350
Just--just--
I tell you what, guys,
In the vernacular of music,
447
00:18:56,850 --> 00:18:57,890
[phone ringing]
Take 5.
448
00:18:57,890 --> 00:18:59,120
Where do you want esther?
449
00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:01,090
Esther. Just...
Can't she wait in here
With the rest of you?
450
00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:03,220
Ok, if you say so.
451
00:19:03,230 --> 00:19:06,230
Hackett, the control tower
Just called.
452
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:08,230
I have got a plane
Trying to park
453
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:11,570
But your junior pilot
Left his bike
On the taxiway.
454
00:19:11,570 --> 00:19:14,170
Mr. Hackett,
My patience is wearing thin.
455
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,440
[mule braying]
Yes...
456
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:17,870
What the hell is that?
457
00:19:17,870 --> 00:19:21,740
(greely)
That's esther, the mascot
Of the marching mules.
458
00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:24,250
Things are starting
To unravel here.
459
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,450
The bike. The bike.
460
00:19:26,950 --> 00:19:28,950
[cello playing]
461
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:46,370
Fay, what is all this?
462
00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:48,200
Joe, you're back.
463
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,570
Oh, yeah,
It's much better.
Thanks.
464
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,510
No, I mean you're back.
You're here in the flesh.
465
00:19:52,510 --> 00:19:53,940
Uh, yeah, yeah.
466
00:19:53,940 --> 00:19:56,580
The doctor sent me home
Earlier than expected.
467
00:19:56,580 --> 00:19:59,080
Hey, what the hell
Is going on here?
468
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,020
Uh, what do you mean?
469
00:20:02,220 --> 00:20:03,850
Joe, your back.
470
00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:05,190
Yes, lowell, I am.
471
00:20:05,450 --> 00:20:07,460
No, I mean your back.
How is it?
472
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,830
Fine. It's fine.
473
00:20:11,330 --> 00:20:13,260
Joe, you're back.
474
00:20:13,260 --> 00:20:16,630
Yes, my stupid back is fine
And I'm here, damn it!
475
00:20:16,630 --> 00:20:18,830
Now, would you tell me
What is going on?
476
00:20:18,830 --> 00:20:20,340
All right, hackett
That's it. Time's up.
477
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:24,340
[all chattering]
478
00:20:25,340 --> 00:20:26,340
Quiet!
479
00:20:27,510 --> 00:20:29,010
You've been
In the plane.
480
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,390
Brian, we need to talk.
481
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,220
Joe. Joe, joe, joe.
482
00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:44,730
I--I--I could give you
A very long song and dance
483
00:20:44,730 --> 00:20:46,230
About what you saw
Out there.
484
00:20:46,230 --> 00:20:47,730
Some of it
Might even be true,
485
00:20:47,730 --> 00:20:50,730
But--but it all
Boils down to this.
486
00:20:50,730 --> 00:20:53,740
I don't know why,
I don't know how,
487
00:20:53,740 --> 00:20:55,240
But the plane
488
00:20:55,740 --> 00:20:56,740
Is gone.
489
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:01,040
What are you talkin' about?
The plane is...
490
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,340
Here.
491
00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:04,850
It's gone here.
492
00:21:04,850 --> 00:21:06,350
It's here now.
493
00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:08,350
Thank you for being here.
494
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:11,350
Oh! Oh, thank you, god.
495
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:14,860
Well, why wouldn't it
Be here? Of course,
It was gone earlier, right?
496
00:21:14,860 --> 00:21:16,360
Yeah.
Y-you know about that?
497
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:17,860
Well, yeah, the guys
From new bedford came
498
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:20,060
And took it out
For its 100-hour check,
Didn't they?
499
00:21:20,060 --> 00:21:22,560
They did? They did!
Of course, they did.
500
00:21:23,470 --> 00:21:24,970
Why--why are
You so surprised?
501
00:21:24,970 --> 00:21:26,500
It was all
In the daily schedule.
502
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:27,500
The daily schedule.
503
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,500
Whoa, I'm telling you, joe,
504
00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:31,010
'cause without
That daily schedule,
505
00:21:31,010 --> 00:21:32,510
I wouldn't know
What I was doing.
506
00:21:32,510 --> 00:21:34,010
That's really good.
The daily schedule! Look.
507
00:21:34,010 --> 00:21:36,010
I just have a few
Loose ends to tie up
Out there.
508
00:21:36,010 --> 00:21:38,250
And by the way,
Do we have enough petty cash
Lying around for bail money?
509
00:21:38,750 --> 00:21:41,280
D-don't even worry
About that! You look great.
Good to have you back.
510
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,550
[gasping]
The plane's back!
I know that.
511
00:21:43,550 --> 00:21:45,050
God loves me.
512
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,060
Helen, d-did I see
A mule out there?
513
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,730
Uh...
514
00:21:52,730 --> 00:21:55,230
The band and
The--the policeman
And the woman with the...
515
00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:57,230
Don't worry about that.
Brian's gonna
Take care of this.
516
00:21:57,730 --> 00:21:59,230
It's good to have you back.
Yeah.
517
00:21:59,230 --> 00:22:01,240
It's good to be back.
I think.
518
00:22:01,940 --> 00:22:03,440
Mmm, oh, oh, uh, careful.
519
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,940
Doctor put you
On my list of don'ts
For another week.
520
00:22:05,940 --> 00:22:07,440
Oh, right. Sorry.
521
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:09,440
Joe,
522
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,950
Didn't you used to
Have hair on your arms?
523
00:22:16,690 --> 00:22:18,690
(joe)
It's a long story.
39793
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