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1
00:00:07,660 --> 00:00:10,160
Do you have any idea
What you're about to eat?
2
00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,160
I'd say it's a hot dog.
3
00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:13,660
Try tube of death.
4
00:00:15,330 --> 00:00:16,830
Well, let's start
With the fact
5
00:00:16,830 --> 00:00:19,940
That they basically dump
A horse into a grinder.
6
00:00:19,940 --> 00:00:23,110
Then they add
Heaping portions
Of steroids, antibiotics,
7
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:25,810
Preservatives, chemicals,
Dyes, and fillers.
8
00:00:25,810 --> 00:00:28,810
Then from our friend,
Mr. Pig,
9
00:00:28,810 --> 00:00:30,810
Snouts, ears, lips,
And bristles.
10
00:00:30,810 --> 00:00:32,720
And finally
They top it all off with,
11
00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:35,220
[chuckling]
Yes, it's allowed
By the government,
12
00:00:35,220 --> 00:00:39,220
1.5 parts per million
Of rat droppings.
13
00:00:40,390 --> 00:00:43,860
Now, what on earth
Would make you wanna
Eat that?
14
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:45,800
A little more relish.
15
00:00:48,730 --> 00:00:49,630
Mmm.
16
00:00:51,130 --> 00:00:52,640
[seagulls cawing]
17
00:01:58,300 --> 00:01:59,800
Uh-huh.
18
00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:01,810
Mmm-hmm.
19
00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:04,810
Uh-huh.
20
00:02:04,810 --> 00:02:07,810
Yeah. Yeah, I got that.
21
00:02:07,810 --> 00:02:10,180
Ok, good.
2 cases of engine oil
22
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,520
And a case of filters.
23
00:02:16,790 --> 00:02:18,290
Uh, listen,
I've gotta go.
24
00:02:18,290 --> 00:02:20,290
The hindenburg just flew
In my office.
25
00:02:22,790 --> 00:02:24,790
Actually,
It's the graf zeppelin, joe.
26
00:02:24,790 --> 00:02:27,300
But that's
An easy mistake to make.
27
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,800
Lowell, it is beautiful.
28
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:31,800
It's fantastic.
Where did you buy this?
29
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,800
Buy it?
No, I made it myself
From scratch.
30
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:36,340
You're kidding.
31
00:02:36,340 --> 00:02:40,240
No, it took me 6 years,
Every day, 2 hours a day.
32
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,250
Wife almost divorced me.
33
00:02:42,250 --> 00:02:43,750
Wow, I can imagine.
34
00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:45,650
It really cut into
The old family time, huh?
35
00:02:45,980 --> 00:02:47,980
No, I think I got
A little too friendly
36
00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:51,860
With the girl that works
At the hobby shop.
37
00:02:51,850 --> 00:02:54,360
Yeah, I'm gonna enter it
In the model air show
On saturday.
38
00:02:54,860 --> 00:02:57,730
I was wondering
If I could store it
In here until then.
39
00:02:57,730 --> 00:02:59,060
Yeah--yeah, sure.
40
00:02:59,060 --> 00:03:01,900
This really is incredible,
Lowell. 6 years.
41
00:03:01,900 --> 00:03:06,170
Yeah. Everything is
Exactly to scale
And historically accurate.
42
00:03:06,170 --> 00:03:09,040
Even the toilets flush.
43
00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:10,910
Except for the one
In the forward cabin,
44
00:03:11,410 --> 00:03:14,080
But I put a little sign
On the door.
45
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:16,080
Unbelievable.
Hey, lowell, let me fly it.
46
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,580
[exclaiming]
Absolutely not, joe.
47
00:03:18,580 --> 00:03:21,080
No way.
No one touches this
But me.
48
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,390
No one.
Lowell, I'm a pilot.
49
00:03:23,890 --> 00:03:25,220
And a damn good one.
50
00:03:25,220 --> 00:03:27,220
So let me fly it.
Never!
51
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:31,230
Now, I'm gonna put this
Right in here, joe.
52
00:03:31,230 --> 00:03:35,730
You let me know
If anyone touches it
Or even looks at it.
53
00:03:36,230 --> 00:03:38,030
Ok, lowell,
Whatever you say.
54
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:41,300
What?
55
00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:43,140
You were looking at it.
56
00:03:43,940 --> 00:03:45,940
Ok, lowell, all right.
57
00:03:48,950 --> 00:03:51,950
Oh, and, joe,
Don't be alarmed
If you hear music.
58
00:03:51,950 --> 00:03:55,450
That's just
The orchestra playing
In the grand ballroom.
59
00:03:57,890 --> 00:03:59,390
[door closing]
60
00:04:02,390 --> 00:04:03,390
Nah.
61
00:04:04,990 --> 00:04:07,000
Oh, this stinks.
62
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,000
Y-yeah?
Well, what about my rights?
63
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,700
What's the matter,
Roy?
64
00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:14,200
Ah, I need another pilot,
And the equal opportunity
Commission
65
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,210
Strongly suggests
I hire a woman.
66
00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:21,210
Well, and I strongly suggest
They blow it out their yu-yu.
67
00:04:21,210 --> 00:04:23,680
I don't want some skirt
Flyin' my planes.
68
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,080
Oh, roy,
Why don't you hire a woman?
69
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,580
God knows it wouldn't be
The first time.
70
00:04:27,580 --> 00:04:29,590
Well, it would
Be the first time
In daylight.
71
00:04:31,490 --> 00:04:34,790
Oh, you broads always
Stick together.
72
00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:38,800
Did some sherpa in tibet
Just chip you out
Of the side of a glacier?
73
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,300
Women pilots have been
Around since the beginning.
74
00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:43,300
What about amelia earhart?
Sorry, helen.
75
00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:46,140
I need someone
Who can handle a roundtrip.
76
00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:48,170
Let me tell you something.
77
00:04:48,170 --> 00:04:50,170
There isn't a man
In his right mind
78
00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:52,180
Who would step on a plane
With a woman in the cockpit.
79
00:04:52,510 --> 00:04:54,310
Oh! Shut up, roy.
No I'm--
80
00:04:54,310 --> 00:04:56,250
Just shut up.
Shut up!
81
00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:58,750
And give me back
My food.
82
00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:00,250
Hey, I paid
For that ham sandwich.
83
00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:02,590
Well, I wouldn't want you
To eat your own kind.
84
00:05:02,850 --> 00:05:04,320
Oh, you...
85
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:06,820
Can you believe
That guy?
86
00:05:06,820 --> 00:05:08,830
He probably thinks
All women are good for is
87
00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:10,830
Cooking and caring
For their men folk.
88
00:05:12,130 --> 00:05:13,630
Can I get you
A piece of apple pie?
89
00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:15,130
I just pulled one
Out of the oven.
90
00:05:15,630 --> 00:05:16,630
Ok.
91
00:05:16,630 --> 00:05:18,130
[telephone ringing]
92
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:22,140
[cat yowling]
93
00:05:23,140 --> 00:05:25,880
Oh, I'm so sorry.
94
00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:27,880
(brian)
I--I take it
The tennis tournament
95
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:29,380
Didn't go
As well as you hoped.
96
00:05:29,380 --> 00:05:31,350
I had it right in my hands
And I let it slip away.
97
00:05:31,350 --> 00:05:34,680
Oh, it's too bad.
Well, there's always
Next year.
98
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,490
Hi, fay. How did
The tournament go?
99
00:05:36,490 --> 00:05:37,490
I lost.
100
00:05:37,990 --> 00:05:39,990
Oh, gee, that's to bad.
Well, there's always
Next year.
101
00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:42,790
If one more person
Tells me that,
I'm gonna serve his face.
102
00:05:43,060 --> 00:05:44,060
Fay.
103
00:05:44,060 --> 00:05:46,060
Oh, I'm sorry.
104
00:05:46,060 --> 00:05:48,970
It's just that I've been
The senior woman's champion
For the last 5 years,
105
00:05:48,970 --> 00:05:50,470
And I should've won again.
106
00:05:50,470 --> 00:05:51,970
(brian)
Well, what happened?
I don't know.
107
00:05:51,970 --> 00:05:53,970
I--I did fine
In the semifinal match.
108
00:05:53,970 --> 00:05:55,470
Thelma barrette has
A cataract,
109
00:05:55,470 --> 00:05:56,970
So I kept hitting
To her left.
110
00:05:56,970 --> 00:06:00,240
Had her swinging
At air all morning.
111
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,680
But then in the finals,
My opponent was
Constance lloyd.
112
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,680
She has this paralyzing fear
Of dogs.
113
00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:07,180
So every time
She got near the ball,
114
00:06:07,180 --> 00:06:08,620
I barked.
115
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,520
You barked?
116
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,520
No, I know it was a vile
And a repugnant thing to do.
117
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,520
I just wish
It'd worked.
118
00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,590
Fay, I've never seen
This side of you.
119
00:06:16,590 --> 00:06:18,590
Oh, well, believe me,
I'm not proud of it.
120
00:06:18,590 --> 00:06:21,600
It's just that
When it comes to tennis,
I'm so competitive.
121
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,600
When I slip those socks on
With those little puff balls,
122
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,200
I'm a different person,
I'm a warrior.
123
00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:30,040
Although,
I wasn't much of one today.
124
00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:31,340
Fay, you're overreacting.
125
00:06:31,340 --> 00:06:33,340
Yeah, you just had
An off day is all.
126
00:06:33,340 --> 00:06:35,480
Hey, fay, I'll tell you what,
Tell you what we'll do.
127
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,980
Why don't you and I
Go out and we'll hit
Some balls around,
128
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:38,980
Just for fun,
You and me?
129
00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:40,480
I didn't know
You played tennis.
130
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:41,850
Oh, yeah,
I used to be
Pretty good.
131
00:06:42,180 --> 00:06:44,190
Almost made
The freshman team
At princeton.
132
00:06:44,190 --> 00:06:46,060
Except for that incident.
133
00:06:46,060 --> 00:06:47,790
What incident?
134
00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:51,290
Ah, a trumped up story
About ben-gaying the coach's
Athletic supporter.
135
00:06:51,290 --> 00:06:54,300
Now I couldn't
Possibly have done it
Because at the time
136
00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:57,300
I was dressing a pig in
The coach's wife's lingerie.
137
00:06:58,970 --> 00:07:02,070
You were in the lingerie,
Or the pig was?
138
00:07:02,070 --> 00:07:05,370
I was. What do you
Take me for, a pervert?
139
00:07:05,370 --> 00:07:06,880
What do you say, fay?
You wanna play?
140
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:08,880
Yeah, yeah, go ahead,
It's a slow day.
I'll cover for you.
141
00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:10,380
Yeah, come on,
Come on.
142
00:07:10,380 --> 00:07:12,380
Uh, ok, I'll meet you
On the court in 15 minutes.
143
00:07:12,380 --> 00:07:13,780
All right.
144
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,620
Go easy on her.
Of course, joe.
145
00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:19,820
I'm just gonna take her
Out there, I'm gonna
Build up her confidence,
146
00:07:19,820 --> 00:07:22,590
You know, warm her up
A bit, suggest a match,
And I'll let her win.
147
00:07:22,590 --> 00:07:24,590
Hey, you know,
You better watch it.
148
00:07:24,590 --> 00:07:26,100
You gonna put a stop
To all that talk
149
00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:30,100
About you bein' a crass,
Juvenile, self-centered guy.
150
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:31,070
Who says that?
151
00:07:31,070 --> 00:07:33,000
Well, me.
152
00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:45,780
Hey, roy,
Is that your new pilot?
153
00:07:45,780 --> 00:07:46,780
Yeah.
154
00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:49,120
Ha ha, you couldn't do it,
Could you?
155
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,820
You just didn't have
The human decency
To hire a woman.
156
00:07:51,820 --> 00:07:53,490
What are you
Talkin' about?
157
00:07:53,490 --> 00:07:56,860
I did, that's her.
Audrey grant.
158
00:07:56,860 --> 00:07:59,360
She's got
Some pretty impressive
Credentials for a woman.
159
00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:01,360
[sighing]
160
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:02,870
Roy, I'm talkin' about
That person sitting
At the table.
161
00:08:02,870 --> 00:08:04,500
So am I.
162
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:07,500
You know,
You made me realize
What a big chauvinist pig
163
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:09,010
I was being.
Thank you, helen.
164
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,510
You made me
See the light.
165
00:08:10,510 --> 00:08:13,510
Roy biggins,
That is not a woman.
That's a man.
166
00:08:14,010 --> 00:08:16,510
Well, I admit
The uniform does accentuate
The flaws in her figure,
167
00:08:16,510 --> 00:08:18,510
But a man, please.
168
00:08:18,510 --> 00:08:20,350
Come on, roy, are you out
Of your freakin' mind?
169
00:08:20,350 --> 00:08:21,980
What the hell are you
Trying to pull here?
170
00:08:21,980 --> 00:08:24,290
Hey, hey, hey,
You watch your language.
There's a lady present.
171
00:08:24,290 --> 00:08:26,790
[grunting]
Don't move.
172
00:08:26,790 --> 00:08:30,790
Joe, you see
That person over there?
173
00:08:30,790 --> 00:08:32,300
You mean that guy
Readin' the newspaper?
174
00:08:32,290 --> 00:08:33,300
[exclaims]
175
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,030
Roy, that's a man.
176
00:08:35,030 --> 00:08:37,030
I don't know
What you're takin' about.
177
00:08:37,030 --> 00:08:39,040
Ah! Ok, ok. If you really
Think that's a woman,
178
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,070
Why don't you go over there
And give her
A little hello kiss?
179
00:08:41,070 --> 00:08:44,070
Oh, sure, that's all I need,
Is a sexual harassment suit.
180
00:08:44,070 --> 00:08:47,580
In the good old days,
You could pat your help
On the fanny, but not anymore.
181
00:08:47,580 --> 00:08:50,580
Oh, knock it off, roy.
That is a man,
182
00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:52,080
And I'm gonna prove it.
183
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,080
How?
Um...
184
00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:55,590
Simple.
I'm gonna go ask him.
185
00:08:55,580 --> 00:08:59,090
Well, that'll really
Boost her self-confidence.
186
00:08:59,090 --> 00:09:00,590
While you're at it,
Why don't you ask her
187
00:09:00,590 --> 00:09:02,460
Why nobody took her
To the prom?
188
00:09:02,460 --> 00:09:04,290
Better yet,
Why don't you ask her
189
00:09:04,290 --> 00:09:05,800
Why they all laughed at her
190
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,800
When she showed up
For the cheerleader tryouts?
191
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,370
Oh, come on, roy.
192
00:09:09,370 --> 00:09:11,870
Not every woman
Can be as feminine
As you are, helen.
193
00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:14,870
Just 'cause you have
No facial hair
And small bones,
194
00:09:14,870 --> 00:09:16,410
Doesn't make you
Any better than her.
195
00:09:16,410 --> 00:09:18,470
But you go ahead.
No, you ask your question.
196
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:20,680
Go on, destroy
What's left of her life.
197
00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:22,180
Go on, go on.
198
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:26,480
Damn it.
199
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,020
(joe)
So, how'd
The tennis match go?
200
00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:33,020
Well, I thought
I was gonna give fay
A few pointers,
201
00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:35,530
But as it turned out,
She taught me a lesson.
202
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:38,030
Is that so?
I crushed him.
203
00:09:38,030 --> 00:09:40,030
Yeah, she sure did,
She sure did.
204
00:09:40,030 --> 00:09:41,530
Yeah, we had
A little match,
205
00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:43,800
And I'll be darned
If she didn't beat me
Fair and square.
206
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,300
Good for you, fay.
Now, you see?
You haven't lost it.
207
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:48,810
And, I never played
Better in my life.
208
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,270
It's too bad
You weren't my opponent
In the tournament.
209
00:09:51,270 --> 00:09:52,780
I would've beat you
Like a gong.
210
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:54,680
Yeah, you sure would,
Boy.
211
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:57,680
Fay, did I hear
You beat him at tennis?
212
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:58,680
6-0, 6-0.
213
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:00,180
[whistles]
214
00:10:00,180 --> 00:10:01,620
But it was closer
Than it sounds.
215
00:10:01,980 --> 00:10:04,490
You know, you're really
Not a bad, little player,
Brian.
216
00:10:04,490 --> 00:10:06,490
All you need to do is work
On your lateral movement.
217
00:10:06,490 --> 00:10:08,960
I mean, it was like
You were hauling
A trailer around out there.
218
00:10:09,460 --> 00:10:10,460
[laughing]
219
00:10:10,460 --> 00:10:12,130
Good tip.
Thanks, fay.
220
00:10:12,130 --> 00:10:15,130
Well, and it might help
If you planted your feet
A little earlier
221
00:10:15,130 --> 00:10:16,130
And follow through.
222
00:10:16,130 --> 00:10:19,570
You know, for a man,
Your forehand is pretty weak.
223
00:10:19,570 --> 00:10:20,370
[laughing]
224
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,870
I'll, uh, I'll try
To work on that.
225
00:10:22,870 --> 00:10:24,670
(roy)
Hey, uh, hackett,
226
00:10:24,670 --> 00:10:26,680
Maybe, you better try
Playin' somethin'
A little bit more your speed,
227
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:28,110
Like, uh, shuffleboard
Or gin rummy.
228
00:10:28,610 --> 00:10:30,110
Or professional
Ice hockey.
229
00:10:30,110 --> 00:10:32,110
[laughing]
230
00:10:32,110 --> 00:10:33,620
Don't help me.
231
00:10:34,820 --> 00:10:35,820
[droning]
232
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,820
[laughing]
233
00:10:43,260 --> 00:10:45,090
[metallic clanking]
234
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,230
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
Whoa, whoa.
235
00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:50,730
Oh.
236
00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:52,240
Whew, that was close.
237
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:53,240
Hackett.
238
00:10:53,700 --> 00:10:54,640
[exclaims]
239
00:11:10,490 --> 00:11:12,990
Roy, do you realize
What you just did?
240
00:11:12,990 --> 00:11:14,990
You crushed
Lowell's blimp!
241
00:11:14,990 --> 00:11:16,290
Why didn't you knock?
242
00:11:16,530 --> 00:11:18,030
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
243
00:11:18,030 --> 00:11:21,500
I guess I just should've
Assumed there was a blimp
Behind the door.
244
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,500
Well, I always do
When I knock on yours.
245
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:25,000
What?
246
00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:29,340
[stuttering]
I'm sorry. I'm just upset.
247
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:30,640
What am I gonna tell lowell?
248
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:32,370
Tell me what, joe?
249
00:11:32,370 --> 00:11:33,980
Lowell, I...
250
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:36,480
No.
251
00:11:37,980 --> 00:11:38,980
No!
252
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:40,980
No!
253
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,990
Lowell,
I-- I'm so sorry.
254
00:11:44,990 --> 00:11:47,460
[sobbing]
You're sorry?
255
00:11:47,460 --> 00:11:48,960
You're sorry?
256
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:50,990
Lowell,
It's understandable
257
00:11:50,990 --> 00:11:53,360
That--that you're attached
To your blimp,
258
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:54,460
But--but I know
That deep down
259
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,970
You realize it's--it's just
An inanimate object and that--
260
00:11:56,970 --> 00:11:59,970
You killed my baby!
261
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,470
[sobbing]
262
00:12:02,470 --> 00:12:04,970
Lowell,
I--I--I didn't mean to.
263
00:12:04,970 --> 00:12:06,910
I was flying it and I--
264
00:12:06,910 --> 00:12:07,940
What?
265
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,050
It was roy's fault!
266
00:12:11,050 --> 00:12:12,950
He crushed it
Behind the door
When he opened it.
267
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:14,280
What?
268
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:16,050
Well, it wouldn't
Have been behind the door
269
00:12:16,050 --> 00:12:18,050
If someone had kept
His hands off it
270
00:12:18,050 --> 00:12:20,960
Like someone else
Asked him to.
271
00:12:21,290 --> 00:12:22,290
How--how can I
Make it up to you?
272
00:12:22,290 --> 00:12:24,260
Uh, uh, look, wait,
Wait, here.
273
00:12:24,260 --> 00:12:26,260
Here, see,
I'll give you everything
I got in my wallet.
274
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,800
Here's, uh,
What, $20, $80, $85.
275
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:33,740
$85 for 6 years of my life?
276
00:12:33,740 --> 00:12:37,410
Lowell's right.
Throw in another $10.
277
00:12:37,410 --> 00:12:40,640
Nothing you could do
On earth would ever make up
For this.
278
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:42,650
Nothing.
279
00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:44,150
I-- I'll fix it.
280
00:12:44,150 --> 00:12:45,650
Sure you will!
281
00:12:45,650 --> 00:12:47,650
It took me 6 years
Of exacting,
282
00:12:48,150 --> 00:12:50,990
Painstaking, tedious
Detail work.
283
00:12:51,750 --> 00:12:54,760
I had to do some of it
Under a microscope
284
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,260
With tiny tweezers.
285
00:12:58,260 --> 00:13:00,760
Well, I--I--I would really
Like to try.
286
00:13:03,630 --> 00:13:05,630
This, uh, doesn't seem
To involve me.
287
00:13:06,140 --> 00:13:07,070
[crunching]
288
00:13:07,970 --> 00:13:08,970
(roy)
Uh-oh.
289
00:13:12,610 --> 00:13:14,110
Captain jazzbo?
290
00:13:17,510 --> 00:13:20,350
You've murdered
Captain jazzbo!
291
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:24,020
I'll see you fry
For this, biggins!
292
00:13:25,020 --> 00:13:26,490
[crying]
293
00:13:26,490 --> 00:13:27,720
[door opening]
294
00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:34,730
[door closing]
295
00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:39,230
Oh, the humanity.
296
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:55,550
(roy)
Hey, bjorn.
297
00:13:55,550 --> 00:13:58,550
I hear you've entered
The little sisters
Of perpetual hope
298
00:13:58,550 --> 00:14:00,720
Tennis tournament.
299
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,230
Now, let me give you
A little tip.
300
00:14:02,220 --> 00:14:04,230
Make sister mary catherine
Go to her right.
301
00:14:04,230 --> 00:14:06,230
She always gets tangled
In her beads.
302
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:11,470
Hey, brian, look at this.
We made the paper.
303
00:14:11,470 --> 00:14:12,970
What are you
Talkin' about, fay?
304
00:14:12,970 --> 00:14:15,000
Um, here
In the sports section
Under "Odds and ends."
305
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,010
"Senior tennis player
Fay evelyn cochran
306
00:14:17,510 --> 00:14:19,510
"Defeated former
Princeton tennis champ
307
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:21,010
"Brian hackett
In a grudge match
308
00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:22,810
At the tennis center
Yesterday."
309
00:14:22,810 --> 00:14:25,580
What? Let me see this.
310
00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:27,080
"Ms. Cochran was
At the top of her form
311
00:14:27,580 --> 00:14:30,590
As she easily defeated
The tiring younger player."
312
00:14:30,590 --> 00:14:32,590
I've gotta cut this out
And frame it.
313
00:14:33,090 --> 00:14:34,590
Fay. Fay, did you call
The newspapers?
314
00:14:35,090 --> 00:14:36,630
I didn't call anyone.
Well, then who did?
315
00:14:36,630 --> 00:14:38,630
[laughing]
316
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:43,370
Oh, man, this is--
This is public humiliation.
317
00:14:43,370 --> 00:14:45,930
Oh, don't worry about it.
Nobody ever reads
These things.
318
00:14:45,930 --> 00:14:47,940
[laughing]
Get a load of this.
319
00:14:47,940 --> 00:14:49,440
Some hotshot
Princeton brat
320
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,940
Just got his clock cleaned
By somebody's grandma.
321
00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:55,440
That's it, fay.
That's it.
322
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:56,750
I want a rematch.
323
00:14:56,750 --> 00:14:58,510
Oh, now,
Isn't that silly, brian?
324
00:14:58,510 --> 00:15:00,520
I beat you before,
I can beat you again.
325
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,490
Wake up
And smell the coffee, fay.
326
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,690
I didn't wanna
Tell you this before,
But I let you win.
327
00:15:05,690 --> 00:15:09,690
Oh, brian,
Is your ego that fragile?
328
00:15:11,690 --> 00:15:14,430
It's not that, fay.
I have a reputation
To clear.
329
00:15:14,660 --> 00:15:18,130
Oh, and you think
You're gonna do that
By beating a senior citizen?
330
00:15:18,130 --> 00:15:20,140
I'm counting on it.
331
00:15:20,140 --> 00:15:23,640
Well, ok, brian,
If you need me
To restore your manhood.
332
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:29,150
On the courts.
333
00:15:31,150 --> 00:15:33,980
See you at 3:00 sharp, fay,
At the tennis center.
334
00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:36,750
[laughing]
I want you, fay.
I want you!
335
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:42,260
On the courts!
336
00:15:42,260 --> 00:15:44,260
Must it always be sex
With you two?
337
00:15:50,430 --> 00:15:52,430
Hey, lowell,
How's it goin'?
338
00:15:56,340 --> 00:15:57,840
Did you get a chance to,
Uh, catalog those parts
339
00:15:58,340 --> 00:15:59,840
Out on the tool bench
For me?
340
00:16:03,350 --> 00:16:05,850
How's that soup today?
341
00:16:05,850 --> 00:16:09,190
Oh, look, lowell,
You're gonna have to
Say something sometime.
342
00:16:09,180 --> 00:16:11,490
Blimp killer!
Blimp killer!
343
00:16:15,860 --> 00:16:17,360
Well, it's a start.
344
00:16:27,170 --> 00:16:28,670
(roy)
What are you gonna do?
345
00:16:28,670 --> 00:16:30,670
Oh, I'm gonna
Put an end to this
Once and for all.
346
00:16:30,670 --> 00:16:32,810
I'm gonna ask that woman
If he's a man.
347
00:16:32,810 --> 00:16:34,810
You can't.
Why not?
348
00:16:34,810 --> 00:16:36,310
She's pregnant.
349
00:16:37,650 --> 00:16:40,150
What?
Yeah, it's--it's her first,
350
00:16:40,150 --> 00:16:43,220
And the doctors predict
A very difficult delivery,
351
00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:45,220
What with her narrow hips
And all.
352
00:16:45,220 --> 00:16:48,720
Give me a break, roy.
You, stand up.
353
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:52,230
I'm gonna ask a question,
And I want a straight answer.
354
00:16:52,230 --> 00:16:54,160
Are you a woman?
What?
355
00:16:54,530 --> 00:16:56,330
Then you admit
That you're a man?
Of course I'm a man!
356
00:16:56,830 --> 00:16:58,330
[exclaiming]
I knew it!
357
00:16:58,330 --> 00:17:01,140
This is a man.
This is not a woman, no.
358
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,640
This is a man,
And I knew it all along.
359
00:17:06,310 --> 00:17:08,310
Well, see, there was
Some question earlier.
360
00:17:08,310 --> 00:17:11,810
And, uh, see,
What had happened--
Well, just move along.
361
00:17:12,310 --> 00:17:13,820
Come on.
362
00:17:13,820 --> 00:17:16,320
You thought
You were gonna slip
That one by me, huh?
363
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,820
You see, I knew
That it was a man
All along.
364
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:20,820
Of course it's a man,
Helen.
365
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,590
Any idiot with 2 eyes
Could see that.
366
00:17:23,590 --> 00:17:26,460
I was jerkin' you around.
367
00:17:26,460 --> 00:17:29,160
What?
You chicks are so gullible.
368
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:30,170
[laughing]
369
00:17:32,670 --> 00:17:35,170
If you ask me,
It was an easy mistake.
370
00:17:37,670 --> 00:17:40,180
Uh, uh, now,
Take it easy, brian.
Ok.
371
00:17:40,180 --> 00:17:42,680
How's your ankle?
Oh, it's--
It's killing me, fay.
372
00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:44,680
It's really killing me.
I think it's starting
To swell.
373
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,120
What--what--what happened?
374
00:17:46,110 --> 00:17:47,980
Oh, we were
Playing the match
375
00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:50,490
And brian twisted his ankle
When he dove for the shot.
376
00:17:50,490 --> 00:17:51,990
Yeah, at least the pain
Was worth it.
377
00:17:51,990 --> 00:17:54,490
Got to the ball,
Made the point.
378
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,130
He missed it by a mile.
379
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,800
[groaning]
I don't believe this.
380
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,300
Brian, I thought
Your ankle was injured.
381
00:18:05,730 --> 00:18:07,740
W-what? This one, here?
382
00:18:08,740 --> 00:18:11,240
She was beatin' me, joe.
She was whippin' me.
383
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,740
I--I was playing my butt off.
She's good.
384
00:18:12,740 --> 00:18:14,640
The woman is actually good.
You're kidding?
385
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:17,010
No! She was returning
Every shot I made.
386
00:18:17,010 --> 00:18:19,010
Lob shots, drop shots,
Passing shots.
387
00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:23,690
Uh, she was a blur
Of--of tennis sneakers
And ruffled panties.
388
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:26,690
So, you faked an injury
To salvage your dignity?
389
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:29,020
[sighing]
Yeah, I must be
Slowing down.
390
00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:30,790
Ah, you haven't played
In a long time.
391
00:18:30,790 --> 00:18:32,290
No, I mean
It took me almost an hour
392
00:18:32,290 --> 00:18:35,300
To come up
With this crutches scam.
393
00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:37,800
Hey, joe, joe,
You were there, I mean,
394
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:39,800
You were there
When it all started.
395
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,700
I was only tryin'
To do something nice.
396
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:44,770
You're new to that, brian.
Just don't be discouraged.
397
00:18:46,270 --> 00:18:47,780
[groaning]
398
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:52,880
[sighing]
399
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,860
Joe, can I come in?
400
00:19:06,190 --> 00:19:07,660
You're talking to me?
401
00:19:08,060 --> 00:19:09,060
Wasn't I?
402
00:19:10,070 --> 00:19:12,530
I could hear it in my head.
403
00:19:12,530 --> 00:19:14,440
Yes, yes, y-yes,
You were, lowell.
404
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:15,940
Uh, c-come on in,
What's up?
405
00:19:15,940 --> 00:19:20,240
I just wanted to apologize
And ask for your forgiveness.
406
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,250
You wanna ask
For my forgiveness?
407
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:26,750
Funny, I seem to be hearing
Every word I say.
408
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,220
No, it's not that
I can't hear you, lowell.
409
00:19:28,220 --> 00:19:31,390
[stuttering]
It's just...
Never mind. Go on.
410
00:19:31,390 --> 00:19:35,120
I feel awful about
The way I treated you.
411
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:37,630
Lowell, it's me
That owes you an apology.
412
00:19:37,630 --> 00:19:40,060
Can you ever forgive me
For what I did?
413
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:42,330
No.
414
00:19:43,630 --> 00:19:44,630
That's the problem.
415
00:19:44,630 --> 00:19:46,140
I wanna stay
Friends with you,
416
00:19:46,130 --> 00:19:49,100
But I can't seem
To forgive you.
417
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,540
You know,
I--I stayed up all night
418
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,040
Tryin' to put this thing
Back together and I...
419
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:56,040
It took me 2 hours
Just to get captain jazzbo's
Arm back on.
420
00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:59,450
Well, that's not
His arm, joe.
421
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:03,320
It's a part of
The auxiliary generator.
422
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,120
Y-yeah, you see?
423
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,920
I--I just don't know
How I can make it up to you.
424
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:10,660
Uh, but I wanna
Stay friends, too.
425
00:20:10,660 --> 00:20:12,030
What do we do?
426
00:20:15,830 --> 00:20:17,330
Pray with me, joe.
427
00:20:18,330 --> 00:20:19,330
What?
428
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,370
Pray for guidance.
429
00:20:21,370 --> 00:20:24,670
I know you're jewish,
But we both pray
To the same god.
430
00:20:24,940 --> 00:20:26,340
Lowell, I'm not jewish.
431
00:20:26,340 --> 00:20:28,710
You're kidding?
With a name like hackett?
432
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,480
Heavenly father above,
433
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,490
You're looking down
On 2 tortured souls.
434
00:20:37,490 --> 00:20:41,320
We are but mortal men
With feet of clay.
435
00:20:41,620 --> 00:20:43,630
We are not perfect.
436
00:20:43,630 --> 00:20:45,130
We make mistakes.
437
00:20:45,130 --> 00:20:49,630
Yet sometimes
We cannot find it
In our hearts to forgive.
438
00:20:50,130 --> 00:20:52,640
Please, show us the way.
439
00:21:02,710 --> 00:21:03,950
Are we done now?
440
00:21:03,950 --> 00:21:06,950
No, no,
We have to stay quiet
And wait for a sign.
441
00:21:06,950 --> 00:21:08,450
What kind of a sign?
442
00:21:08,450 --> 00:21:10,450
A sign that says
We've suffered long enough
443
00:21:10,450 --> 00:21:12,960
And can once again
Call each other friend.
444
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,460
[sighing]
445
00:21:24,970 --> 00:21:25,970
How long does this
Usually take?
446
00:21:25,970 --> 00:21:27,470
Shh!
447
00:21:34,940 --> 00:21:37,280
Lowell, my feet are
Falling asleep.
448
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,250
So are mine.
449
00:21:40,250 --> 00:21:41,750
That's it!
That's the sign.
450
00:21:43,250 --> 00:21:45,250
[stuttering]
That was the sign?
451
00:21:45,750 --> 00:21:48,760
Come on, joe. How many times
Can he part the red sea?
452
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:50,760
So we're friends?
453
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,260
You betcha, joe.
454
00:21:53,260 --> 00:21:55,200
Hey, come on, lowell.
I-- I'll buy you a beer.
455
00:21:55,700 --> 00:21:57,700
Uh, first things first.
456
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,200
A little prayer
Of thanksgiving.
457
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:02,770
[scoffs]
You're kidding?
33849
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