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1
00:00:03,020 --> 00:00:05,520
I'm sorry, sir.
But you really can't
Take that on board.
2
00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:08,530
Our luggage bins are too small
And it won't fit
Under the seat.
3
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:11,530
Oh, no, isn't there any way
I can get this on the plane?
4
00:00:11,530 --> 00:00:13,160
It's a brand new golf bag.
5
00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:15,200
I'm sorry.
6
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,030
How 'bout if I bought
A seat for it?
7
00:00:17,030 --> 00:00:19,100
I'm afraid
We're all booked up.
8
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:21,100
Well.
9
00:00:22,740 --> 00:00:24,240
Then here.
10
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:28,180
Merry christmas.
11
00:00:28,180 --> 00:00:30,550
And merry christmas
To you, too.
12
00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:37,890
Oh, joe,
We're doing a lot better
Than last christmas.
13
00:00:41,390 --> 00:00:43,390
[seagulls cawing]
14
00:01:48,790 --> 00:01:51,790
[people chattering]
15
00:01:51,790 --> 00:01:54,300
Please, joe, tell me
That no one's made
A reservation
16
00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:56,300
For that stupid christmas day
Flight tomorrow.
17
00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:57,800
Not yet.
18
00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,070
Well, can't you cancel it?
19
00:01:59,070 --> 00:02:01,040
I want to go skiing
As much as you do,
20
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,210
But we're the only ones flying
To new bedford tomorrow.
21
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:05,210
Sometimes, we just have to
Give up our own holidays
22
00:02:05,210 --> 00:02:06,710
So that other people
Can enjoy theirs.
23
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,210
All right, all right,
Tell you what.
Tell you what.
24
00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:10,850
You give me christmas day off,
Ok, and I will work
25
00:02:10,850 --> 00:02:14,880
Flag day, arbor day,
I'll even throw in
St. Swithin's day.
26
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:18,190
Did I hear we're working on
St. Swithin's day?
27
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,660
Just half day.
28
00:02:20,660 --> 00:02:22,260
Uh, so, fay,
What are you doin'
29
00:02:22,260 --> 00:02:23,260
For the holidays?
You never said.
30
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:26,260
Oh, uh, well,
You know, the usual.
31
00:02:26,260 --> 00:02:29,770
Umm, I'm having a few friends
Over for a traditional
Christmas dinner
32
00:02:29,770 --> 00:02:31,970
And it's really too bad
You boys can't make it.
33
00:02:31,970 --> 00:02:33,470
Uh, don't you worry
About us, fay.
34
00:02:33,470 --> 00:02:35,470
Joey and I are gonna
Go skiing in vermont.
35
00:02:35,470 --> 00:02:36,970
Joe's gonna be
Workin' on his slalom
36
00:02:37,470 --> 00:02:41,280
And I'm gonna be teaching
Some ski bunny
How to do a double brian.
37
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:42,780
Look, brian,
I'll make you a deal.
What?
38
00:02:42,780 --> 00:02:45,780
If we don't get
A reservation by 5:00,
We'll take off for vermont.
39
00:02:45,780 --> 00:02:47,280
Deal. Great,
No reservation, no flight.
40
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:48,790
[telephone ringing]
41
00:02:48,790 --> 00:02:50,290
I love this man.
42
00:02:51,790 --> 00:02:52,790
Hello?
43
00:02:54,820 --> 00:02:57,830
Uh, no, never heard
Of sandpiper air.
44
00:02:57,830 --> 00:02:59,330
This is buck's bait
And tackle shop,
45
00:02:59,330 --> 00:03:01,330
You're talkin'
To the buckster.
46
00:03:01,330 --> 00:03:02,830
No, no sandpiper air,
47
00:03:02,830 --> 00:03:05,840
But if you're ever
In the market
For a little chopped squid--
48
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:06,840
Hello?
49
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:09,440
(joe)
So, you excited about
50
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,440
Your folks comin' in
From texas for the holiday.
51
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:12,940
Oh, you bet.
52
00:03:12,940 --> 00:03:15,950
But I'm even more excited
That they're not gonna
Spend it with my sister.
53
00:03:16,450 --> 00:03:17,750
Why's that?
54
00:03:17,750 --> 00:03:20,050
Well, they always spend
Christmas in hawaii
With lorraine
55
00:03:20,050 --> 00:03:24,050
And her rich, stupid husband
And those little
Spoiled brat kids.
56
00:03:24,050 --> 00:03:27,060
Lorraine calls me
Every christmas morning,
Collect,
57
00:03:27,060 --> 00:03:30,990
And it's always haleakala
This and kilauea that.
Well, not this year.
58
00:03:30,990 --> 00:03:33,260
This year when those
2 little monsters ask her,
59
00:03:33,260 --> 00:03:34,700
"Where's grandma
And grandpa?"
60
00:03:34,700 --> 00:03:36,700
She's gonna have to
Tell 'em, "They're not here.
61
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:39,200
They're at aunt helen's."
62
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:42,670
[whooping]
Boy, this is gonna be
An awesome christmas.
63
00:03:43,370 --> 00:03:45,370
Fay evelyn cochran?
64
00:03:45,370 --> 00:03:47,380
Well, I'll be darned.
65
00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:50,010
Hello, frank.
What brings you here?
66
00:03:50,010 --> 00:03:53,520
Oh, I'm pickin' up
My daughter
And her hippie boyfriend.
67
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:57,520
He's a communist,
But that doesn't keep him
From smokin' my cigars.
68
00:03:58,020 --> 00:04:00,020
Hey, I haven't
Seen you in, uh...
69
00:04:00,020 --> 00:04:02,020
Well, it's gotta be
Over a year.
70
00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:03,890
Well, ever since
George died.
71
00:04:03,890 --> 00:04:06,400
Well, there didn't seem
To be much reason
To go down to the marina
72
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,400
Once I sold our boat.
73
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,900
You know,
I have been so busy,
74
00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:13,400
I've been hangin' lights
On my cabin cruiser
75
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,400
For this year's christmas
Boat parade.
76
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,210
Oh, are they still
Doin' that thing?
77
00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:18,710
Oh, that's great,
'cause my--my brother joe
78
00:04:19,210 --> 00:04:22,210
Entered a little sailboat
Once and he spent hours
79
00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:23,710
Makin' rudolph
The red-nosed reindeer
80
00:04:23,710 --> 00:04:24,710
Out of
All these colored lights.
81
00:04:24,710 --> 00:04:26,220
But I re-arranged
The lights
82
00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:29,220
So that something other than
Rudolph's nose lit up.
83
00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:31,620
He didn't win.
84
00:04:31,950 --> 00:04:34,460
Uh, well, uh, here they are,
Uh, excuse me, please.
85
00:04:34,460 --> 00:04:37,960
Uh, my daughter
And mr. Trotsky have arrived.
86
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:39,460
Oh! Hi.
87
00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:43,470
What a rancid
Little rooster he is.
88
00:04:43,470 --> 00:04:44,970
Oh, I--I know
I shouldn't say that
89
00:04:44,970 --> 00:04:47,470
At christmas time,
But he used to make george
So mad.
90
00:04:47,470 --> 00:04:49,970
Every year
George would spend weeks
Decorating our boat.
91
00:04:49,970 --> 00:04:53,580
Then frank would win
The grand prize
And really rub it in.
92
00:04:53,580 --> 00:04:55,240
George would have
Given anything
To be able to beat
93
00:04:55,750 --> 00:04:57,750
That little winker-stinker.
94
00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:00,250
So, I've got
This extra room,
95
00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:02,250
So my folks'll be
Staying with me.
96
00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:05,250
Yeah, I'm putting up
Some relatives myself.
97
00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:07,160
My mother-in-law
Is in for the week.
98
00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:08,360
Ouch.
99
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,830
Uh, she's not so bad.
100
00:05:09,830 --> 00:05:13,160
No, I just bit my tongue,
That really hurts.
101
00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:15,670
Then don't do that.
102
00:05:15,670 --> 00:05:18,170
Uh, bunny's mom,
She's a great old gal.
103
00:05:18,170 --> 00:05:19,670
Doesn't look a day over 40.
104
00:05:19,670 --> 00:05:21,670
Yeah, how old is she?
105
00:05:21,670 --> 00:05:22,670
40.
106
00:05:24,170 --> 00:05:26,180
Thought I made that clear.
107
00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:29,180
[telephone ringing]
108
00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:32,680
Hello and welcome
To the new kids on the block
Hotline.
109
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,690
Press 1 for jordy.
2, if donnie's your fave.
110
00:05:35,690 --> 00:05:37,190
3 for danny.
111
00:05:37,190 --> 00:05:39,190
And thanks for calling
Sandpiper air--
112
00:05:39,190 --> 00:05:41,160
Hello, can I help you?
113
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,060
Yeah, yeah,
There are still seats
Available
114
00:05:43,060 --> 00:05:45,400
For tomorrow's flight.
No, no, no, joe.
115
00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:48,700
Just one seat, mr. Tolbert?
116
00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:52,200
Yeah, it's our pleasure.
Thanks for flying sandpiper.
117
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,070
Brian, I-- sorry,
The guy's got business
In new bedford.
118
00:05:55,070 --> 00:05:59,140
Oh, yeah, well just for that,
There's no such thing
As santa claus.
119
00:05:59,140 --> 00:06:01,880
You know, 4 years ago
That might've hurt.
120
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,720
No, no, joe,
This is the worst
Christmas ever.
121
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:11,820
I used to think
It was the one
122
00:06:11,820 --> 00:06:13,820
Where mom and dad
Bought us those hamsters
123
00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:17,130
And forgot to poke
Air holes in the box.
124
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:21,360
But at least that had
A moment of dramatic tension.
125
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,370
I cannot believe
We're here on christmas day
126
00:06:23,370 --> 00:06:25,870
To take one guy
To new bedford.
127
00:06:25,870 --> 00:06:27,870
It's like a tomb in here.
128
00:06:30,370 --> 00:06:31,370
Merry christmas, fellas.
129
00:06:31,870 --> 00:06:33,380
(brian)
Lowell, what are you
Doin' here?
130
00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:35,380
Well, I experienced
Some of that
Holiday stress
131
00:06:35,380 --> 00:06:37,380
You're always hearin' about.
132
00:06:37,380 --> 00:06:39,950
My wife kicked me
Off the boat last night.
133
00:06:39,950 --> 00:06:41,520
On christmas eve, why?
134
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:45,020
Well, I sort of made a pass
At my mother-in-law.
135
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,830
Well, I guess
It was those
Hot buttered rums.
136
00:06:50,830 --> 00:06:52,830
One minute,
I'm feeling pretty loose.
137
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:55,330
Next minute, lowell junior's
Running around screaming,
138
00:06:55,330 --> 00:06:58,330
"Daddy's got his hand
On granny's num-num."
139
00:06:59,540 --> 00:07:01,940
Why, lowell,
You randy old sea-dog, you.
140
00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:06,010
Yeah, you pray
For an observant child,
And then this happens.
141
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,510
Merry christmas, roy.
142
00:07:09,510 --> 00:07:10,510
Shut up!
143
00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:13,850
Ye merry, gentlemen,
Let nothing you dismay
144
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,150
Roy, what are you
Doin' here?
145
00:07:15,150 --> 00:07:17,390
I thought you and your son
Were having christmas
Together.
146
00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:19,390
Well, if you must know,
147
00:07:19,390 --> 00:07:23,390
R.J. And his friends decided
To follow the grateful dead
Down to gainesville.
148
00:07:23,390 --> 00:07:26,400
Now, what would make a kid
Want to sit in a muddy field
On christmas
149
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:29,400
With 20,000 smelly
Tripped out deadheads.
150
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:32,900
The prospect
Of watching you
Chew with your mouth open.
151
00:07:33,940 --> 00:07:35,470
Eat my shorts.
152
00:07:35,470 --> 00:07:39,980
With boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la,
La la la la
153
00:07:39,980 --> 00:07:41,980
Roy, were those
The only 2 passengers
On that flight?
154
00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:43,980
Yeah, what do you mean,
Your--your folks
Didn't show?
155
00:07:43,980 --> 00:07:45,980
No, and I'm getting
Really worried.
156
00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:47,980
Oh, I don't know
If this is pertinent
Or not, helen,
157
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,490
But, uh, your parents called
Before you got here
158
00:07:50,490 --> 00:07:52,420
And said
They weren't coming.
159
00:07:52,420 --> 00:07:53,920
What? Why?
160
00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,430
Well, they went
To their local
Christmas pageant
161
00:07:56,430 --> 00:07:58,330
And the camel
Fell on your mother.
162
00:07:58,830 --> 00:08:00,630
Oh, my god! Is she ok?
163
00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:02,630
She's fine,
Not a scratch.
164
00:08:02,630 --> 00:08:05,730
But they missed
Their last flight
Out of houston.
165
00:08:09,770 --> 00:08:13,280
Well, there goes
My christmas down the toilet.
166
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:16,280
Well, look, our passenger's
Got 8 minutes to show up.
167
00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:18,780
If he doesn't,
What do you say we salvage
What's left of this christmas?
168
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:20,280
You come skiing
With brian and me.
169
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,750
That's right, joe,
There was a call
For you, too.
170
00:08:23,750 --> 00:08:25,760
Wow, where is my mind?
171
00:08:27,490 --> 00:08:30,290
I think zippy the pinhead
Had it last.
172
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:35,670
Some guy named tolbert called
And canceled his reservation.
173
00:08:35,660 --> 00:08:38,330
He--he did?
That's great. Hey, brian.
174
00:08:38,330 --> 00:08:40,340
Brian, great news.
Yeah.
175
00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:41,770
Flight's canceled.
We can go to vermont.
176
00:08:41,770 --> 00:08:44,140
Great, great 'cause
I was just listening
To the weather service
177
00:08:44,140 --> 00:08:46,040
And they said that
The conditions are perfect
For skiing.
178
00:08:46,510 --> 00:08:47,340
Great.
All right.
179
00:08:47,340 --> 00:08:48,340
And terrible for landing.
180
00:08:48,340 --> 00:08:51,150
They're snowed in.
Airport's closed.
181
00:08:51,650 --> 00:08:54,150
Well, it's official.
182
00:08:54,150 --> 00:08:56,050
This christmas sucks.
183
00:08:58,550 --> 00:09:02,060
Looks like fay
Is the only one of us
Havin' a good holiday.
184
00:09:02,060 --> 00:09:03,560
Oh, yeah.
185
00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:05,390
She's throwing
That big christmas party,
Isn't she?
186
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:07,330
You think,
She'd mind if we dropped by?
187
00:09:07,330 --> 00:09:08,600
I don't know, man,
Let's try it.
188
00:09:08,930 --> 00:09:11,030
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We--we should at least
Call her first.
189
00:09:11,030 --> 00:09:12,540
Oh, yeah, god knows
What those old people do
190
00:09:12,540 --> 00:09:14,200
With the shades down.
Come on, joe.
191
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:15,710
Let's go.
She practically begged us.
192
00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:17,710
Roy, lowell. We're gonna go
Crash fay's party.
193
00:09:17,710 --> 00:09:19,880
Couldn't be any worse
Than this.
194
00:09:20,380 --> 00:09:21,780
It's busy.
195
00:09:21,780 --> 00:09:23,410
Wait, if it looks like
We're intruding,
We should leave.
196
00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:25,650
Let's work out
Some kind of signal,
Though.
197
00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:28,150
All right. I'll touch
The brim of my cap
198
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:29,650
And that means
That we leave, you got it?
199
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:31,650
[all agreeing]
Ok.
200
00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:34,160
No, wait,
I don't have a cap on.
201
00:09:34,660 --> 00:09:36,160
All right, how about this?
202
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,660
I'll touch my nose
With my tongue.
203
00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:41,660
No, wait.
Last time I tried that
204
00:09:41,660 --> 00:09:45,200
I sprained my tongue,
Couldn't talk
For a week.
205
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,300
Good,
We'll go with that one.
206
00:09:53,310 --> 00:09:55,310
No, don't ring the bell.
Let's surprise her.
207
00:09:55,310 --> 00:09:56,810
(brian)
Well, uh,
I'll tell you what.
208
00:09:56,810 --> 00:09:59,320
Uh, merry christmas,
On the count of 3.
Ready?
209
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,280
Ok.
(all)
1, 2, 3.
210
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,220
(all)
Merry christmas!
211
00:10:03,550 --> 00:10:04,350
What?
212
00:10:04,350 --> 00:10:06,390
[gasping]
What is it?
213
00:10:06,390 --> 00:10:08,890
Fay, why are you
Sitting here?
214
00:10:09,390 --> 00:10:10,390
You're all alone.
215
00:10:10,390 --> 00:10:11,990
In the dark.
216
00:10:11,990 --> 00:10:15,000
Well, it's just that...
217
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:18,500
Well, it's my first christmas
Since george died.
218
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:20,140
[clock ticking]
219
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,140
Would it be impolite
To ask for some eggnog?
220
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:29,650
Yes.
221
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:40,590
Fay, why didn't you tell us?
Why did you make up
That story about a party?
222
00:10:40,590 --> 00:10:43,090
Well, I didn't feel
Much in the holiday spirit,
223
00:10:43,090 --> 00:10:45,600
And I knew you dear people
Would try to cheer me up.
224
00:10:45,590 --> 00:10:47,930
Anyway, I didn't want
To ruin your christmas.
225
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:49,230
Oh, thanks for
The thought, fay,
226
00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:51,730
But that train
Left the station hours ago.
227
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,700
Uh, hey, guys,
Maybe we better get going.
228
00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:58,210
Uh, no, don't go, um...
229
00:10:58,210 --> 00:11:00,240
Your company
Might do me some good.
230
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,040
Then we'd be happy to stay.
231
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:03,550
Happy?
Happy.
232
00:11:04,550 --> 00:11:06,050
Happy.
233
00:11:06,050 --> 00:11:08,480
Uh, but--but I wouldn't
Want to impose.
234
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:11,490
Oh, don't be silly.
We came to spend christmas
With you.
235
00:11:11,490 --> 00:11:13,990
Oh, and I feel
Much better already.
236
00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:17,490
Uh, well, just make
Yourselves comfortable,
Sit anywhere.
237
00:11:17,490 --> 00:11:18,490
[brian mumbling]
238
00:11:18,490 --> 00:11:19,860
No! Not there!
239
00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:22,370
No, uh, that's the chair
George died in.
240
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,370
That chair?
Yes, I hope you don't mind.
241
00:11:24,370 --> 00:11:27,340
No, I don't mind at all.
I'll just stand
Right over there.
242
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:29,400
Uh,
243
00:11:29,910 --> 00:11:32,140
There's gotta be
Something better on
Than this japanese channel.
244
00:11:32,140 --> 00:11:35,650
Oh, look, that old lady
Falls down and can't get up
In tokyo, too.
245
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,150
[music playing
On television]
246
00:11:38,150 --> 00:11:39,650
[woman shouting in japanese]
247
00:11:39,650 --> 00:11:41,650
Yeah, well, sayonara.
248
00:11:41,650 --> 00:11:42,650
Uh, no, don't.
249
00:11:42,650 --> 00:11:44,150
Uh, uh, I'm sorry, roy,
250
00:11:44,150 --> 00:11:45,660
It's just...
That was the last thing
George was watching
251
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:46,960
Before he died.
252
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,760
The japanese channel?
253
00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:51,760
Well, he sort of
Passed away in mid-click.
254
00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:55,500
Fay, are you saying
255
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:59,530
That you haven't changed
Anything in this house
Since george died?
256
00:11:59,540 --> 00:12:01,540
Well, I just haven't touched
George's things.
257
00:12:01,540 --> 00:12:03,540
Uh, his pipe
Is where he left it.
258
00:12:03,540 --> 00:12:06,540
His book is opened
To the page he was on.
259
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:10,280
His dentures are soaking
In his cup by the bookcase.
260
00:12:23,530 --> 00:12:26,030
I know, it must seem silly,
But somehow
It just makes me feel
261
00:12:26,030 --> 00:12:28,330
That he's not really gone.
262
00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:30,830
Well, look.
263
00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:32,840
Uh, uh, why don't I change
Out of this robe
264
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,140
And we'll do
This holiday right.
265
00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:42,040
[brian whistling]
266
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,050
[clearing throat]
We're not gonna,
Like, find george
267
00:12:44,050 --> 00:12:46,050
Sitting up
In a rocking chair,
Or anything, are we?
268
00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:47,480
He's got a point, lets go.
269
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:48,920
Wait, look.
270
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,420
We came here because
We're all depressed,
271
00:12:50,420 --> 00:12:51,920
We're havin'
A lousy christmas,
272
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:54,920
But it just so happens
That fay is having
An even lousier christmas.
273
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:58,160
Least we can do
Is stick around
And see her through this.
274
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:01,160
Joe's right.
I hadn't really thought
About it much,
275
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,570
But we're the closest thing
To family she's got.
276
00:13:03,570 --> 00:13:05,570
Gee, us, family.
277
00:13:06,070 --> 00:13:08,070
Guess that would make roy
The weird bachelor uncle
278
00:13:08,070 --> 00:13:10,470
That no one
Ever talks about, huh?
279
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,940
[all exclaiming]
Oh, fay, look at you.
280
00:13:13,940 --> 00:13:16,950
Oh, thank you, helen.
Thank you, everyone.
281
00:13:16,950 --> 00:13:18,810
Uh, and merry christmas.
282
00:13:18,810 --> 00:13:21,120
(all)
Merry christmas!
283
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:22,620
Merry christmas.
284
00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:29,730
Now what?
285
00:13:29,730 --> 00:13:32,630
Oh, yeah, well, I know,
Let's-- let's have
A christmas dinner.
286
00:13:32,630 --> 00:13:34,130
Uh, well,
All the stores are closed
287
00:13:34,130 --> 00:13:36,570
And I don't think I have
The right food
For a christmas dinner.
288
00:13:36,930 --> 00:13:38,430
Oh, fay, nonsense.
We don't need
The right food.
289
00:13:38,430 --> 00:13:40,740
We'll make do
With what we have,
Like the pilgrims.
290
00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:42,940
Joe, the--the pilgrims
Were thanksgiving.
291
00:13:43,340 --> 00:13:46,080
Oh, like they didn't eat
On christmas, too.
292
00:13:51,710 --> 00:13:56,590
Say, roy, how about
Passing me some of that
Festive wheat germ.
293
00:13:57,090 --> 00:14:01,590
Only if you'll send
One of those yuletide
Rice cakes my way.
294
00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:03,590
Mmm, how do they
Make them so dry?
295
00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:09,630
Without a salad,
Croutons are just
Stale bread, right?
296
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:16,110
You know, back in the manger
They would've been happy
To have this stuff.
297
00:14:16,110 --> 00:14:18,110
Oh, yeah, I remember
Reading somewhere
That cocktail onions
298
00:14:18,610 --> 00:14:21,110
Were a particular favorite
Of the baby jesus.
299
00:14:22,810 --> 00:14:24,310
So how you doin', fay?
300
00:14:24,310 --> 00:14:27,120
Fine.
(joe)
Can I get you anything?
301
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:28,420
Fine.
302
00:14:29,890 --> 00:14:31,820
Uh...
Hey, I have an idea.
303
00:14:31,820 --> 00:14:34,490
Let's, uh, sing
Some christmas carols.
I'll start it off from
304
00:14:34,990 --> 00:14:37,990
Sleigh bells ring
Are you listening?
305
00:14:37,990 --> 00:14:41,360
In the lane
The snow is glistenin'
306
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:42,800
A beautiful sight
307
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,500
Da da da da dum
308
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:47,670
Walking in
My winter underwear
309
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:51,470
Lowell! Lowell!
Lowell! Lowell!
310
00:14:51,470 --> 00:14:54,780
I think the lyrics are
Walking in
A winter wonderland.
311
00:14:54,780 --> 00:14:57,010
Uh, that
Would be silly, brian.
312
00:14:57,010 --> 00:15:01,020
Wonderland's a dog track,
And im pretty sure
It's closed in the winter.
313
00:15:01,020 --> 00:15:03,050
Trust me, it's underwear.
314
00:15:04,050 --> 00:15:06,050
Lowell, why--why don't you
Go in the kitchen
315
00:15:06,050 --> 00:15:07,560
And see if you can
Scare up some dessert?
316
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,060
Oh, you got it, joe.
317
00:15:09,060 --> 00:15:13,060
I'll be joan
For christmas
318
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:18,600
Why is it
Whenever I'm around him
I hear dueling banjos?
319
00:15:21,770 --> 00:15:24,970
Every year,
George would sing
That song to me.
320
00:15:24,970 --> 00:15:27,910
There's words to that song,
I thought it was just banjos.
321
00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:32,920
I'll be home for christmas
322
00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:37,420
You can count on me
323
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:40,760
Everybody now.
324
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,400
(lowell)
Good news,
I found the cookie jar.
325
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:48,900
Why, I can hear
Somethin' rattling
Around in here,
326
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:50,470
But I'm
Having a little trouble--
327
00:15:50,470 --> 00:15:51,470
No! Lowell, don't!
328
00:15:51,470 --> 00:15:53,470
[all clamoring]
What's wrong, fay?
329
00:15:53,470 --> 00:15:55,470
George is in here.
330
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:01,280
Who called it, huh?
331
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:04,780
Actually, george wanted
To have his ashes scattered
At sea,
332
00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:09,120
But I just couldn't bring
Myself to do it.
I--I couldn't throw him away.
333
00:16:12,190 --> 00:16:14,690
Fay, it may not be my place,
334
00:16:14,690 --> 00:16:18,690
But I don't think george
Would have wanted you
To live like this.
335
00:16:18,690 --> 00:16:22,200
Oh, I know, and it's not
As if I haven't had to deal
With death before.
336
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,700
After all,
I--I had 2 other georges
Go on me,
337
00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:27,700
But this george
Was different.
338
00:16:29,970 --> 00:16:32,980
This was the george
I wanted to grow old with.
339
00:16:32,980 --> 00:16:34,280
[crunching]
340
00:16:38,750 --> 00:16:43,250
Fay, do you think maybe
It's time to let go?
341
00:16:44,590 --> 00:16:47,390
If george wanted
His ashes scattered at sea,
342
00:16:47,390 --> 00:16:49,790
Maybe this would be
The perfect time to do it.
343
00:16:49,790 --> 00:16:50,790
[crunching]
344
00:16:55,730 --> 00:16:57,230
I don't know.
Well, yeah.
345
00:16:57,230 --> 00:16:58,730
Uh, it could be sort of
Like a christmas present
To george.
346
00:16:58,730 --> 00:17:00,670
We can go up in the plane
Right now and do it.
347
00:17:00,670 --> 00:17:02,170
Yeah.
348
00:17:02,170 --> 00:17:04,670
Well, uh,
Maybe now would
Be a good time.
349
00:17:04,670 --> 00:17:06,880
Um, maybe your right.
Great.
350
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,340
Then let's go.
351
00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:12,280
Boy, this christmas
Just keeps gettin' better
And better.
352
00:17:24,530 --> 00:17:26,030
Fay, you ok?
353
00:17:26,030 --> 00:17:29,700
I think so.
I still can't believe
I'm doing this.
354
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:32,800
There's a lot of that
Goin' around.
355
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,800
Uh, it's a bit overcast,
356
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,440
But I think we're far enough
Away from shore.
357
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:38,940
Lowell, you want to go back
And get george.
358
00:17:38,940 --> 00:17:41,380
I'd be honored.
359
00:17:41,380 --> 00:17:43,280
I hope I'm doing
The right thing.
360
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:47,280
Fay, I am convinced
This is exactly what george
Would've wanted.
361
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:48,320
[jar breaking]
362
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:49,750
(lowell)
Oops!
363
00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:51,520
Well, maybe not exactly.
364
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,020
What happened?
365
00:17:53,020 --> 00:17:55,020
I, uh, spilled george.
366
00:17:55,020 --> 00:17:56,360
Oh, my god.
367
00:17:56,630 --> 00:17:58,230
Fay, it'll be ok.
368
00:17:58,230 --> 00:18:00,260
Lowell, there's a dustbuster
In the back of the plane
There.
369
00:18:00,260 --> 00:18:01,260
Right.
370
00:18:01,260 --> 00:18:03,430
You have a dustbuster
On the plane?
371
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:06,940
Yeah, sure, make fun,
But it comes in handy
For just such an emergency.
372
00:18:06,940 --> 00:18:09,440
[dustbuster whirring]
373
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:12,440
Boy, this little baby really
Has great suction.
374
00:18:14,410 --> 00:18:16,910
I knew it.
I knew this wasn't right.
375
00:18:17,410 --> 00:18:18,410
No, no, fay...
376
00:18:18,410 --> 00:18:21,350
No, joe, I can't do it.
I can't let george go.
377
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,220
Uh, look, uh,
378
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:25,220
Fay,
379
00:18:25,220 --> 00:18:27,220
Those ashes aren't george.
380
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:29,230
They're just ashes.
381
00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:31,230
I lost sylvia
A few years ago
382
00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:33,230
And I know what it's like
Not to wanna let go.
383
00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:34,730
But, fay,
384
00:18:34,730 --> 00:18:36,230
You got to let go.
385
00:18:36,230 --> 00:18:37,730
It's just so hard.
386
00:18:37,730 --> 00:18:39,900
We know. We know.
387
00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:42,400
Well, I think
I got all of him.
388
00:18:43,940 --> 00:18:45,440
I need a moment.
389
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:48,310
You take as long as you need.
390
00:18:48,310 --> 00:18:50,310
Well, look, uh,
If we're gonna do this
We better do it soon
391
00:18:50,310 --> 00:18:51,850
'cause we're runnin' low
On fuel.
392
00:18:51,850 --> 00:18:53,350
Sweet mother of god.
393
00:18:53,350 --> 00:18:54,850
Just kidding!
394
00:18:54,850 --> 00:18:57,850
But I really have to go
To the bathroom.
395
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:02,890
This is the loveliest funeral
I've ever been to.
396
00:19:04,390 --> 00:19:06,400
You know, fay,
If you're uncomfortable
With this,
397
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:10,000
We don't have to do it today.
We can do it another day.
398
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:14,170
Lowell,
Give me the dustbuster.
399
00:19:15,170 --> 00:19:16,370
What are you gonna do?
400
00:19:16,370 --> 00:19:18,470
I'm gonna bury
George at sea.
401
00:19:18,470 --> 00:19:19,470
In my dustbuster?
402
00:19:19,470 --> 00:19:21,480
Joe.
It's brand new.
403
00:19:28,350 --> 00:19:30,550
Shouldn't somebody
Say something?
404
00:19:30,550 --> 00:19:32,550
How 'bout "Bombs away"?
405
00:19:33,890 --> 00:19:36,360
I don't think I'm up to
Giving a eulogy.
406
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,290
Fay, if you'll allow me--
407
00:19:38,690 --> 00:19:40,630
Uh, lowell, I--
Please.
408
00:19:44,170 --> 00:19:46,670
Today we say goodbye
To a loved one.
409
00:19:46,670 --> 00:19:48,670
Someone who filled
Our lives
410
00:19:48,670 --> 00:19:52,170
With joy and meaning,
Laughter and tears.
411
00:19:52,170 --> 00:19:55,980
Someone who touched
Our souls
And moved our hearts.
412
00:19:55,980 --> 00:19:59,980
We thank him for the time
He shared with us
Here on earth.
413
00:19:59,980 --> 00:20:04,190
And now,
Sadly, send his spirit
To the heavens
414
00:20:04,690 --> 00:20:06,190
And body to the sea.
415
00:20:12,660 --> 00:20:14,500
[engines roaring]
416
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,500
Bye, george.
417
00:20:37,390 --> 00:20:41,060
Well, lowell, I'm impressed.
That was really touching.
418
00:20:41,060 --> 00:20:42,560
Yeah, well,
419
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:46,060
I guess, I've just flushed
One too many turtles
In my time.
420
00:20:52,730 --> 00:20:55,240
I don't know,
I guess I did the right thing.
421
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:56,740
You did, fay.
I know you did.
422
00:20:56,740 --> 00:20:58,110
Oh, well, thanks helen.
423
00:20:58,110 --> 00:20:59,610
I--I just wish
There were some way
424
00:20:59,610 --> 00:21:02,280
I could be sure
That it was ok with george.
425
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,110
Uh, bye-bye, jenny.
426
00:21:04,610 --> 00:21:06,620
[speaking russian]
427
00:21:08,620 --> 00:21:10,120
Oh, hi, fay.
428
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:11,450
H-how was your christmas?
429
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:12,550
I've had better.
430
00:21:12,550 --> 00:21:15,460
Well, mine was worse.
431
00:21:15,460 --> 00:21:18,460
I was down
At the, uh, boat parade.
432
00:21:18,460 --> 00:21:21,960
When the damnedest thing
Happened.
433
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,970
The judges were, like,
Oh, 2 slips away
From my boat
434
00:21:25,970 --> 00:21:28,140
When, suddenly,
From out of nowhere
435
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:30,640
This thing fell from the sky,
436
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:36,750
Smashed right through
My prow and it sunk
The boat like a stone.
437
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,180
That's incredible.
438
00:21:39,180 --> 00:21:42,180
This one fellow
Swore that the thing looked
439
00:21:42,180 --> 00:21:44,690
Something like a dustbuster.
440
00:21:49,860 --> 00:21:53,360
I wonder where something
Like that could have
Come from?
441
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:56,870
Oh, frank,
I'm so sorry to hear that.
442
00:21:58,300 --> 00:21:59,800
Well.
443
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:01,840
There's always next year.
444
00:22:09,110 --> 00:22:11,610
Thanks, george.
445
00:22:11,610 --> 00:22:14,120
And a merry christmas
To you, too.
34042
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