All language subtitles for Superman (2025).srt - eng(3)

Ow! Oh!

Stop, stop, stop.

Stop. Stop.

No, Krypto. Krypto.

Ow!

Krypto.

Take me home.

Home.

Krypto.

Home.

Superman!

Thank you.

No need to thank us, sir,
as we will not appreciate it.

We have no consciousness whatsoever.

Merely automatons, here to serve.

Meet Twelve. She's new.

- Hi.
- He looked at me.

I put your parents'
message on to soothe you.

Thank you.

He finds it soothing.

The message was damaged in transit
from Krypton to Earth.

But what is there...

"We love you
more than heaven, our son."

"We love you more than land."

"We love you more than land."

"Our beloved home
will soon be gone forever.

But hope vitalizes our hearts,

and that hope is you, Kal-El."

"We have searched
the universe for a home

where you can do the most good

and live out Krypton's truth.

- That place is Earth."
- "That place is Earth."

And the rest of the message is lost.

Fourteen fractured bones.

Damage to bladder, kidney,
large intestine, lungs.

Our poor Superman.

With a healthy dose of yellow sun,

we'll have him up and at 'em in no time.

Engineer, come in.

He landed somewhere near here.

I can't see where.

Well, keep looking.

Golly.

Sir, you are only 83% restored
to health. You must rest.

No can do, Four.
I gotta get back to the fray.

But this Hammer fellow
just beat you at full power.

Sir?

What is this?

Krypto!

What the hey, dude? I-I thought--

You destroyed the whole--

Superman robots, I thought I told you
to keep an eye on him.

We feed the canine, but he is unruly.

And he realizes
we are not flesh and blood

and couldn't, in our heart of hearts,
care less whether he lives or dies.

Stop, Krypto, leave it.

Ow. Ow! Stop. Ow. Stop it.

Krypto! Ow! Ow! Stop it. Stop.

Sit. Sit. Stay.

The alien is on its way back.

Your Superman has abandoned you!

The people of Boravia will not ignore him
inserting himself into our affairs.

Accelerate the portals.

Primed and ready.

T-Minus ten and counting.

Buckle up, we're going live.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six...

Bravo, what do you have on employees?

I'm inside Chocos, Larry. No fatalities.

...five, four...

- Can't win 'em all.
- ...three, two, one.

Target in sight.

- He's back. Your 5:00.
- Copy.

12C.

18A.

34B.

98Z.

8H.

74D.

44T!

- Reggie, can you watch?
- Yeah, yeah.

Yes! Yes, yes, yes!

It's like he knows Superman's every move
before he makes it.

He does. He's been studying him for years.

He's developed over 2,500 fight moves
for any situation.

Superman!

Bravo, you got him?

Malik Ali, a local.

Lex, we have the Engineer.

The target
has led us to the ice castle.

The rumors are true.

I don't know how in the hell
this thing hasn't been spotted.

Mierda.

Comms, two to one.

Hijo de...

Lex, the entire structure
has descended into the ice.

We have what we need.
Return to base.

I can drill into it, Lex.

Your pride won't be making
our choices today, Angela.

Thank you.

We'll need more than you
when we enter.

Comms, one to two.

We've done what we need to do.
Wrap it up.

The United States will continue to feel
the wrath of the Hammer of Boravia.

It's me, Mali.

Once I gave you free falafel,

when you saved a woman
from being hit by a taxi.

Are you all right, Superman?

Mali, you gotta get outta here.
It's not safe.

You saved us so many times.
Now it's our turn.

This is your last warning.

Oh!

Maybe you shouldn't have done
that thing in Jarhanpur, Superman.

Flawless, people.

Way to bring it home!

Decelerate all portals.

- Ultraman's back.
- Ultraman!

Ultraman! You did so good.

Yes!

Sorry about that. I'm so sorry.

Sorry.

- Morning, Nino.
- Good morning, Clark.

Do these unelected metahumans

think they can dictate
international policy?

It's outrageous.

It's a big story.
Put it above the fold.

That's where we put it.

- You're late again, Kent.
- Sorry, Perry.

- Hey, loser.
- Hey, Steve.

Hey, what do you got
against adverbs, Kent?

How are we supposed to know how we feel
when we read this malarkey?

In sports writing, you learn
the sentence is the modifier.

- Hey, Ma.
- "Ma!"

Hey, Clark!

Uh, me and Pa just wanted to call

and say congratulations
on that front page.

Boy, that is something!

Hey, ask Ma if she barbecued up
any good roadkill lately.

- Shut up, Steve.
- Like, uh, possum or chitlins...

- What's that, Clark?
- Sorry, Ma,

I'm just in the middle
of a big news day here.

What are chitlins?

Chitlins are intestines.

Thanks, Cat. You read this crud?

I thought it was great, Clark.

"Great"?

Yeah! Front page! Big time!

Well, we don't want
to keep you, but, uh,

wanted to say congrats,

and tell you we're thinking
'bout you, Clark.

- It's been a minute.
- Tell him don't be a stranger.

Pa says, "Don't be a stranger."

I, uh... Yeah, I heard him, Ma.

Yeah, okay I gotta go. I gotta run.

Yep, okay. Love you.

So, this guy just flew into midtown
and started attacking people,

demanding for Superman to show up?

Yeah. It's all there in my article.

Then I'd actually have to make
it through your writing, Clark.

Knowledge is worth many sacrifices.

That isn't one of them.

Ha, ha, ha. Very funny, Lois.

- Oh, my God.
- He's so fine.

Twenty-two people in the hospital,
over 20 million in property damage.

- It does make you wonder.
- Wonder what?

As great as he is, maybe Superman
didn't completely think through

the ramifications of the Boravia thing.

If this guy is even from Boravia.

What do you mean?
His name is "the Hammer of Boravia."

Yeah, I doubt his parents
named him that, Jimmy.

We have no clue
what his actual goal was here.

I think it's pretty obvious the
goal was kicking Superman's ass.

Uh, he did-- He didn't
completely kick Superman's ass.

Pretty thoroughly, Clark.

Show me! You show me
what ties there are

between Boravia and this "Hammer!"

Yeah, see, Superman did say
he thought the, uh, Hammer

might be faking a Boravian accent.

Superman said that?

Yeah, I interviewed him
right afterwards. Great guy.

You know, it's funny that you keep getting
all these interviews with Superman, Clark.

I don't think there's anything funny
about good journalism, Lois.

Uh-huh.

The relationship
between Boravia and United States

has been like iron for 30 years,

until Superman came along.

What you're looking at,
my friends,

is the most powerful being
on Planet Earth:

Ultraman.

You created this man?

Ooh. Check this out. The Engineer.

A former special operative,
whose blood I infused

with microscopic machines
called "nanites,"

which she can form into anything
she can imagine.

And, of course, you're familiar with
my flying armored forces, the Raptors.

All together, they're an unstoppable force
we call PlanetWatch.

More than capable of containing
any otherworldly threat.

So you want the Defense Department

to hire your metahumans
to take down the Kryptonian?

After Superman acted with violence
against our Boravian allies,

I think it'd be worth considering.

Big Blue stopped a war.

Naive, maybe, but well-intentioned.

Well, I don't know the intentions
of an unattended firehose, General Flag.

I just do what I can not to be splashed.

- Mr. Luthor...
- The disarming Director Crawley.

The country
of Boravia has purchased

over 80 billion dollars' worth of arms

from LuthorCorp in the past two years.

- And?
- And no one would profit more

from a war with Boravia
and Jarhanpur than you.

A cynic might say that having
Superman out of the way

might not be bad for business.

Well, what's particularly
bad for business is dying.

And I have a distinct feeling
that's where we're all headed

with the Kryptonian running wild.

So we're gonna lock up all metahumans now?

Look, other metahumans
aren't going off half-cocked,

interfering in foreign affairs.

They don't have--
And I have proof of this--

a hidden headquarters in Antarctica

that violates 12 international treaties.

And they aren't aliens.

Shouldn't all that be
more than enough reason

for PlanetWatch to at least bring
the Kryptonian in for questioning?

Admittedly, I'm not comfortable

with a being from another planet
as dangerous as him on the loose.

But the optics? Superman is popular.

Less so every day,
according to chatter online.

Not to mention the potential risk
of failing to contain him.

I assure you, Secretary,
we can contain him.

Yeah, they got this stuff, uh...

What's this
Kryptonite stuff called?

- It's called Kryptonite.
- Well, it kills him, right?

As far as we can ascertain,
there's none left on the planet.

I have a workaround for that as well.

You know what? It doesn't matter, Lex.

Because without solid proof
of malicious intent,

it's just not worth the risk.

What are you doing here?

Three months ago, we had our first date.

And so, to celebrate,
I am making you your favorite:

breakfast for dinner.

That's your favorite.

You love breakfast.

Yeah, for breakfast.
You love it for dinner.

- What?
- It was very funny today.

- What?
- It was hilarious,

the little back-and-forth we had going.

Mm.

You giving me guff for my article.

Jimmy was eating it up.

I wasn't acting, Clark.
If you keep interviewing yourself,

eventually people
are gonna figure it out.

But the glasses.

Yeah, they won't fool everyone forever.

And ethically, these interviews
are hugely problematic.

I mean, y-you literally know
the questions in advance.

Okay, so I'll let you interview me.

I'm pretty sure
you wouldn't like that.

Come on, Lois. I'm media savvy.

I can handle any question
that comes my way.

Are you being serious right now?

Yeah.

You'd let me interview you as Superman?

Sure.

How about now?

Um...

Ready?

Let's do it, Cronkite.

Superman.

Miss Lane.

Recently, you've come under

a lot of fire for what some might--

I don't know
if it's a lot of fire, but--

It's a lot.

Today the Secretary of Defense

said he was gonna look into
your actions in Boravia.

That-- That's funny?

It's not "funny" funny, it's just, um...

I mean, come on. My actions?
I stopped a war.

- Maybe.
- Uh, not "maybe." I did.

Okay. How?

Well, Boravia invaded Jarhanpur,

and I showed up and told them
that wasn't right.

And?

And... smashed some tanks and things

and a couple of planes
and some other stuff.

There were no casualties
and no significant injuries.

Did you interact at all

with the President of Boravia,
Vasil Ghurkos?

A very small amount.

What's a very small amount?

That was between us.

This is all on the record.

Yeah, but that conversation
was between the two of us.

Yeah, and I would
ask that question

whether or not
I knew the answer to it.

- Really?
- Really.

After I stopped the war,

I went to see Ghurkos.

Where?

In the capital of Luchebic,
at the Royal Palace.

And?

And I took a private audience
with Ghurkos.

How?

I flew him out to the desert, and I...

And you...

And I placed him
against a cactus.

A cactus?

So... torture?

No. Not torture.

Its spikes were like...
not even that big.

What did you say?

I told him that if he ever
messes with Jarhanpur again,

he'll have to
personally answer to me.

What did you mean by that?

That if such events occurred,

we would have a more serious
discussion, that's all.

More serious than
tearing up his back on a cactus?

Ghurkos was gonna kill people.

You seem to keep
forgetting that--

So, in effect,
you illegally entered a country,

inserting yourself in the middle

- of an incredibly heated...
- No, no, no. Hold on.

- geopolitical situation...
- Hold on a second.

...siding with a nation, Jarhanpur,

which historically has not been

- a friend to the US...
- Jarhanpur has changed.

...against a nation
that's technically our ally,

and then threatened
to murder their head of state.

First of all, whether or not
Jarhanpur is an imperfect country

does not give another nation
the right to invade it.

Yes, but the Boravian government
maintains

they're freeing the Jarhanpurians

from a tyrannical regime.

Yes, but you know that's very silly.

I do?

The Boravian government,
of all people, is saying this?

Come on!

This is on the record,
Superman.

Now-- No. Now, see...

Now you're being
dishonest, Lois.

How am I being dishonest?

- What are you--? Stop.
- Where's the button?

You're being dishonest
because you know as well as I do

that the Boravian government
is not well-intentioned.

I think that's almost certainly
the case, but do I know that?

No, I don't.

Can we go on now?

Yeah, fine.

- I don't-- You do it.
- I...

You think this is going well?

Do I think this is going well?
Um...

I think I'm doing a good job.

Superman, did you consult
with the President

before entering
Boravian airspace?

- No.
- The Secretary of Defense?

- No.
- Or any US official

before you took matters
into your own hands

and decided unilaterally
how to handle

this extremely delicate
situation?

Ghurkos and his goons
were going to kill people.

Yes, but the results

of you seemingly acting
as a representative

of the United States
will cause...

I wasn't representing
anybody...

...more problems
around the world.

...except for me, and-and...

- More than a war that lasted...
- ...myself and, and, and...

...between 12 and 24 hours...

...good, I don't know,
doing good.

...and was just replacing

one tyrannical regime
with another?

Is that really how you feel?

I'm not the one being
interviewed, Superman, but...

I question it.

Yeah, I would question myself
in the same situation

and hold off a beat
and consider the consequences.

People were going to die!

Okay, I'd like to
change the subject, if I could.

Okay.

You've gotten a lot of heat
on social media lately.

I don't read that stuff.

Superman doesn't have
time for selfies.

- Third person?
- Hmm?

You're referring to yourself
in the third person now?

No, it was just a thing
I came up with

that I thought I'd try to work
into the next interview.

This is on the record, Superman.

Okay, well, not the part
where I said that.

- Yes, that part.
- No, that part was an aside.

That was off the record.

You have to say "off the record"
beforehand, not after.

Why are you being like this?

Fine, I-I won't write

that you spend your spare time
trying to think up soundbites.

Which are terrible, by the way.

- Social media.
- Yes.

As you may know,
or maybe you don't,

since you claim not to read
any of that stuff--

Very seldomly.

Maybe sometimes people
catch you reading it

and looking very upset.

Okay, well, you can't use that.

People on social media are
suspicious because you are...

...an alien, yes?

Yes.

I've been very honest
about that. From the beginning.

I come from
a planet called Krypton.

- Okay.
- Which is gone now, by the way.

Destroyed.
Along with all of my history.

My parents.

They sent me here as a baby
to save my life.

Here, where?

I'm not gonna say that.
You know I'm not gonna say that.

Okay.

What do you know about these
biological parents of yours?

Just that they sent me here
to serve humanity

and to help the world
to be a better place.

- They said that?
- They did.

They sent a message
along with me.

That message
is why I do what I do.

I cherish it more than anything.

Because you understand now,

there are an awful lot of people
out there maintaining

you're here
for more nefarious purposes.

Hashtag Superspy.
Hashtag Supershit.

Supershit!? Come on, Lois!

You know that one
specifically irritates me!

This is on the record, Clark!

I didn't make it up.

It's what people on the Internet
are saying.

I'm gonna go.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Come on, Clark. Don't do this.

I'm not doing anything.

No? No, that's not you,
packing up your shit

and walking out of an interview?

I'm not walking out
of an interview,

- I'm just-- It's late.
- No, this is what you do

every time
you're faced with conflict.

- I'm not doing anything.
- You get mad. You pout.

- Then you pretend...
- I'm not mad.

- ...like nothing's wrong.
- Nothing is wrong.

Look, I gave you
a nice, long interview.

Longer than I ever gave myself,
by the way.

Oh, you can time your imaginary
interviews with yourself?

That's a thing you can do?

You got a lot of good stuff.

Some stuff you can't use.

I am well aware.

I knew this would never work.

What does that mean?

Lois?

- What does that mean?
- Nothing, I just...

I told you
I wasn't good at relationships.

Okay.

The real Antarctica!

So cool!

It was right ahead.

But how are we going to gain access?

Oh, ye of little faith.

Oh, wow!

Oh, my God!

Superman, I preemptively
put up the soothing--

Oh, my. I do apologize,
but this is a restricted area.

Wait. Can we talk--

This is what we came for.

Hopefully,
there's something on here

we can use
to convince the general

Superman requires immediate action.

I can't stand the metahumans,
but he's so much worse.

Super... man.

He's not a man. He's an it.

A thing with a cocky grin
and a stupid outfit

that's somehow become the focal point

of the entire world's conversation.

Nothing's felt right
since he showed up.

I know, Lex.

I've sacrificed my own humanity
to help get rid of it.

Can you get in?

Might take a while.

What if the Kryptonian shows up?

Don't worry.

I'm creating a... distraction.

What?

This message...

...from his parents.

It's damaged, but there's more.

It's...

I can recover the rest.

Whoa! Got it!

Let it out!

It's an awfully small distraction.

It'll get bigger.

Get! Go!

Get! Get outta here!

The giant animal

was first spotted early this morning

in a Jitters coffee shop
about seven feet tall,

but it has apparently been growing.

Everybody okay?

Hey, buddy. Eyes up here.

Deep, slow breaths, ma'am.
You're gonna be fine.

Everybody, clear the area.

He's just so cheap, like, so obnoxious.

You know what I mean?

You can afford
$1,000 concert tickets...

Finally a bit of good news
amid the chaos here this morning.

The Justice Gang
has arrived on the scene.

That's Green Lantern, Hawkgirl
and Mr. Terrific.

They're funded
by the LordTech corporation.

Get him!

Hey!

Heel, boy!

- What's the skinny?
- Its hide is tough,

but, uh, it's off balance.

I've been trying to figure out a way

to get it out of here alive.

Get it someplace
where we can study it.

- Oh, come on, man.
- What?

Go for its eyes!

My knee! Guy, help!

I made giant oven mitts!

Good for you, asshole!
I'm getting blinked to death!

Come on, be careful!

Oh!

Good gosh! There's gotta be
a better way to do this.

Come on.

Authorities are
saying there haven't been

any signs yet of loss of life,

thanks to Metropolis
hometown hero, Superman,

but the damage to property
could be in the millions.

City spokespeople...

How's it going with that guy
you were seeing?

You were saying
you weren't sure about it?

Yeah. He's...

a little strange.

Ooh!
Kaiju steaks all around, huh?

I was hoping we could capture it

and take it
to an intergalactic zoo or...

...at least euthanize it
less painfully.

Come on, bro.
Don't be such a wuss.

'Ey! Just another day in
the life of the Justice Gang!

Not our name.

It's just a working name.

Could very well prove
to be permanent though.

- Probably not!
- Good chance though, I'm saying.

You okay? Everybody okay?

Just like to say thank you

on behalf of LordTech Industries
for the opportunity--

Why is nobody clapping?

Come here.

This has to be BS.

Well, they couldn't
be mistaken?

Oh, no.

Well, that sounds very disturbing, Lex.

Twenty-eight
of the world's top linguists

have confirmed the translation

and 30 of the top forensic
computer techs

have confirmed the validity
of the footage itself.

Any chance they're mistaken?

Unfortunately, no.

- You have the footage?
- Yes.

Let's take a look.

We love you
more than heaven, our son.

We love you more than land.

Our beloved home
is soon to be gone forever.

But hope vitalizes our hearts,

and that hope is you, Kal-El.

We have searched
the universe

for a home where you can do the most good.

And live out Krypton's truth.

That place is Earth.

I don't get it. What's bad about that?

The people there are simple

and profoundly confused.

Weak of mind
and spirit and body.

Lord over the planet

as the last son of Krypton.

Dispatch of anyone

unable or unwilling to serve you, Kal-EI.

Take as many wives as you can,

so your genes and Krypton's
might and legacy

will live on
in this new frontier.

Do us proud, our beloved son.

Rule without mercy.

But what about all the kind acts

Superman has performed
over the years,

saving countless lives?

No. He's grooming us.

Lulling us into complacency,

so he can dominate without resistance,

forging a path for his

super-powered descendants
to rule the Earth.

I will not accept that. Will you?

- You seem upset.
- I'm...

I'm scared.

I will admit that, I am scared.

Because who knows how large
his secret harem is already?

Oh, hell no!
Let me in! I'm serious!

Dude, you got a secret harem?

No, Guy, of course
I don't have a harem.

If any of that message
is even remotely true,

then you are exactly
the kind of alien threat

I was commandeered
by the Green Lantern Corps

to protect this planet against.

- Back off, Guy!
- Oh.

Make a move, Big Blue.

Guy, relax.

Was the message real or not?

The first half.
The first half is... is real.

The second half was damaged

in the t-trip from Krypton to Earth.

- So it's-it's gotta be doctored.
- No way, Clark.

I know these computer forensics
guys.

They're not gonna say it's legit
unless they are sure.

I'm so sorry, man,

but there's no way that message is fake.

Where'd they get the footage
though?

Are you considering bringing
Superman in for questioning?

We're talking with the President,
and we are reviewing our options now.

I'm sorry, but I have to go,
Miss Lane.

And if you did, when would that--

You buying this?

I don't put anything
past Luthor, Rick.

But the message is authentic.

If the Kryptonian is a danger,
we have to act.

I was a big Superman fan.

I supported him
all the time online and stuff,

but now?

I mean, I hope he rots in hell.

I don't care.
You're supposed to get out!

Get me some pictures.

We have a deadline!

Where is he? Get there now!

Don't call me Chief.

Okay. I'm gonna do my job.

It's no wonder the Kryptonian

interfered with Boravia's interests.

Boravia wants to save the people
of Jarhanpur.

And Superman
wants to keep them enslaved!

Also, from what I hear,

he finds Boravian women
the most physically attractive

and wants to add them
to his secret harem.

I have a question,
President Ghurkos.

Thank you.

That couldn't
have gone better, Mr. President!

You were so handsome and dynamic!

Wonderful!

Very handsome! Very handsome!

Go! Leave me be!

We did it, Lex!

I wouldn't celebrate until
the alien is off the board.

Oh, here. I brought you a donut.
From Dough's Holes.

New shop in Park Ridge,
of all places.

The fake message,
a stroke of genius.

It's not fake.

He is here to kill us. I knew it!

At Superman's fortress,

I hoped to get the knowledge
to help destroy him.

Little did I know,
his own parents

would be providing it.

Oh.

Right? Yeah.

Been thinking of opening one
in my half of Jarhanpur.

Four. Four. What happened?

I tried to protect Superman.

How did Luthor get in here?
It's keyed into my DNA.

Must protect Superman.

Four.

I'm sorry, friend.

Krypto?

Krypto!

Well, yeah,
that's gonna become--

- Lex, I tried to stop him.
- It's fine, Heather.

Superman, we finally meet.

- Would you like a coffee or tea?
- Where's the dog?

Dog?

The dog, Luthor!
You took the dog!

That's right, Eve, get all of this.

Where's the dog?

I have no clue
what you're talking about.

He's just a dog.

I don't know what dog
you're talking about.

Ugly dog in a cape?

- What did you say?
- Hmm?

I didn't say anything.

You heard what he said!

You heard him! He took him!

I mean, it seems to me,

that the only rabid animal
around here is Superman.

Ever since the discovery
of the Kryptonian's master plan,

he's gone off the deep end.
Thoughts, Chris?

Can't say I'm surprised, Cleavis.

It's guys like this, they always got

a whole bunch of dark, ugly secrets.

What do you mean,
"guys like this?"

Thinks he's better
than everybody else.

Makes this declaration
he's against killing people

unless it's
absolutely necessary.

Really, dude?

It kinda sounds like
you're trying to make the guys

who are a little more
edgier than you look like jerks.

- Know what I mean?
- Mm-hmm.

A lot of these guys, these...

heroes from the magazines,

they're obsessed with me.

'Cause I'm more jacked
than they are.

They know they don't have--

You have a dog?

No, not really. It's more of
a... foster situation.

Cocoa.

You were out there helping them?

Oh, no, that's just, uh--

That's just
some dimensional imp.

They've got that handled.
I was looking for the dog.

You okay?

The footage is not
what it looks like, Lois.

Okay.

The ship my parents sent me in
was damaged in transit,

so I only ever heard
the first part of the message.

And I believed
I knew how it ended.

That my parents had sent me here
to serve the people of Earth

and to be a good man.

I'm not here
to rule over anybody, Lois.

I never thought you were,
even for a moment, Clark.

Oh, that's really good.

I'm sorry we fought.

Me too.

But we're bound to, though.

We're so different.

I was just some punk rock kid
from Bakerline, and you're...

Superman.

- I'm punk rock.
- You are not punk rock.

I like the Strangle-Fellows,

and the P.O.D.s
and the Mighty Crabjoys.

Those are pop radio bands.
They're not punk rock.

The Mighty Crabjoys suck.

Okay, well,
a lot of people love 'em.

My point is, I question
everything and everyone.

You trust everyone

and think everyone
you've ever met is, like...

beautiful.

Maybe that's the real punk rock.

Lois, what did you mean
when you said

that you knew
this would never work?

I don't know.

I'm gonna go.

The DOJ has
a warrant out for my arrest,

so I'm gonna turn myself in.

Wait, what? Why?

Maybe they'll take me
wherever they took the dog.

I don't know
how else to find him.

It's a dog.

Yeah, and he's not even
a very good one, but...

he's out there alone.

And he's probably scared.

I love you, Lois.

I probably should have
told you that a long time ago.

Is that necessary?

I'm coming in on my own accord.

No one read me my rights.

Courts decided
those rights don't apply

to extraterrestrial organisms.

Therefore,
at this point, Superman,

you don't have
any rights to read.

The government
is very well aware

of the potential limitations
detaining you,

so we've outsourced
your confinement

and your interrogation
to PlanetWatch.

PlanetWatch?

I'm sorry about this.

♪ Bring me sunshine
Bring me love ♪

♪ Bring me sunshine
In your eye ♪

♪ Bring me a rainbow
From the sky ♪

♪ Life's too short to be spent
Having anything but fun ♪

♪ We can be so content
If we gather little sunbeams ♪

♪ Be light-hearted ♪

♪ All day long ♪

Hey!

♪ Keep me singing
Happy songs ♪

Twice in two days.
What a pleasure.

Luthor.

Your obsession with me
is getting a little creepy.

Don't worry. Tall, dark,
and Martian isn't my type.

- Kryptonian.
- Eh, same diff.

Where are we?

A pocket universe.

I replicated the Big Bang
with a LuthorCorp mega-collider,

tearing a tiny hole between
the two universal fabrics.

I'm able to access it from
multiple dimensional portals

I've set up around the globe.

Rex, the metahuman
known as the Element Man,

has been called into service
for a specific purpose.

He can metamorphose
into any known substance.

Even substances foreign
to this planet, like...

...Kryptonite.

Once again,
Vasil Ghurkos is sending troops

to the Jarhanpurian border.

Superman's been
out of commission

less than a day, and already
Boravia's pulling this crap?

- Right?
- What?

Sorry, I'm trying to figure out

how Lex Luthor's
connected to all this.

How's that a mystery?

LuthorCorp sells arms
to Boravia, Boravia goes to war,

Luthor sells more arms
and gets richer than ever.

- Nope.
- No?

Uh-uh.

I have a connection at BodaBank.

Boda handles the transactions
between LuthorCorp and Boravia.

Yes, LuthorCorp sold them

approximately 80 billion
dollars' worth of arms,

but for those arms,

Boravia paid only
1.625 billion dollars.

So Luthor gave them arms
for free? For what?

That's the 78 billion,
375-million-dollar question.

Have you found out
where they're holding Superman?

No one in the government'll say.

Luthor seems to be working
to disable Superman

just so he can't stop
the invasion of Jarhanpur.

Why?

That's way too much sugar, Lois.

I party like a rock star, choir boy.

Still can't hide
the taste of petroleum.

God!

Lex is holding Superman
in a pocket universe.

A what?

I don't know
what a pocket universe is.

Neither does my source.

They don't know anything
about anything, really.

But for sure
he's in a pocket universe.

Who's your source?

I can't say, but you owe me.

Big time.

Like...

I can't even tell you how big.

I love you, Jimmy Olsen.

- I love you.
- Love you.

Just my Monkey-Bots here,
farming outrage 24/7.

Trashing you online.

Hashtag Supershit.

Krypto.

How do you contain a super dog?

You beam super squirrels
into its brain.

We'll learn what we can.

Then we'll put the varmint down.

It will undoubtedly be painful.

Mr. Luthor, please!
I swear...

This is our private
correctional institution.

Yeah, most cells are
rented out to governments

who want to keep
their incarcerations

of political agitators private.

Others are for more
personal transgressions.

Fleurette wrote a blog about me.

There are few things I hate

more than petty ex-girlfriends.

You wouldn't be telling me
any of this if you--

If we ever planned
on letting you out? No.

You'd be terminated
already if it was up to me.

First, the government has some
questions they want answered.

Rex. Look who it is.

You be sure
to keep our guest in check.

Little Joseph certainly
wouldn't want it any other way.

I'll be back tomorrow
to get the answers we need.

Hey, handsome.

Come on over.

- Hi!
- Hey, Eve.

Oh, sorry we had to meet here,

but Lex is always accessing
traffic cameras,

so he knows where I am.

I really don't understand why
you stay in that relationship.

'Cause he made a point to tell
me about all his ex-girlfriends

he had imprisoned
in his pocket universe.

- What?
- Right?

- How's your mom?
- My mom?

Oh, I love her so much.

I think of her as my mom,
even more than my own mother.

Oh, she feels the same way,

from the-the one time
that you guys met.

- Yeah?
- So, hey. Okay.

- Yes. Yes.
- Eve?

There seems to be
some sort of connection

between Boravia and your boyfriend.

- I'm not clear on what--
- Oh.

What's wrong?

What's "oh"?

I thought you wanted
to see me, Jimmy.

I do but, Eve,

how could I even really see you
with Lex still in the picture?

You're just trying
to get information out of me.

I swear to God, that's not it.

I-I just know that if I could
get some real dirt on him,

then maybe
the two of us could--

Could be together again?

Yeah.

But you said my toes look like

someone spilled
shrimp cocktail on the floor.

You have unconventional toes.
Who cares?

There's other parts of you
that people would

find very attractive.

Lex tortured a dog the other day.

- Jesus Christ!
- I know.

- I have to go.
- Eve.

Please see
what you can find out.

- Okay.
- Yes! Yes!

Okay.

I'm-I'm putting 'em in my pocket.

Okay.

Joseph. He's your son?

Don't talk to me.

Please.

I could fly over and get him
if you just--

if you'd stop
with the Kryptonite.

There's no way out of here,
okay? So, just...

- There's always a way.
- I said don't talk to me!

I told you.

Don't talk to me!

Yeah,
so what do you want me to do?

Where's the creamer?

On the counter,
where it always is.

He's in your group, right?
The, um, uh--

- What's it called, again?
- The Justice Gang.

- No.
- We're not called that.

Yeah, your name is Mr. Terrific.

You don't get a vote
with a name like that.

I also voted against it.

Yes.
And as leader, I get tiebreaker.

No, Superman
is not officially a member.

Because you don't
want him to vote.

You know
which way that would go.

Shut up. He's kidding.

So, how do you even know
Superman anyway?

I... just... do.

So you know
about the hypno-glasses?

Now she does.

I'm not saying who he is, just
that he wears hypno-glasses.

They make his face...

Terrific, how do they work?

They make his face
look different

in your brain
when he wears them.

So that you don't know
who he is.

Yes, I know this, first of all.

But, second of all, you really
shouldn't be telling me this

in case I don't know who he is.

So, you know he's Clark Kent?

Oh, my God.
Why does he trust everyone?

He doesn't. Just us because
we are also of the cloth.

"Of the cloth?"

- What are we gonna do?
- About what?

Superman! He's your friend!

Some friend.
Came here to rule over me?

It would be difficult
to find him.

I put nanobot GPS trackers
into Superman's bloodstream.

You can see
where his trail ends

abruptly right here at Fort Kramer,

a dormant military post across
the river about ten miles down.

Even if he was dead, those
trackers would still be there.

So, all this leads me to believe,

as your article surmised,

he really is in a pocket universe.

You put nanobot GPS trackers
in your friend's bloodstream?

Oh, I do that to everybody.

So, okay. Come on.
Let's go to Fort Kramer then.

The four of us,
and find out what's going on.

And then do what?

Save him.

You wanna break a federally

incarcerated prisoner
out of jail?

Look, I think this is being done

to keep him from interfering
with the Boravian invasion.

No, you look.
I'm a Green Lantern, lady.

That means I took a vow
not to get involved in politics.

Oh, that's part of the vows?

It's implied. Yeah.

An implied vow?

Every time there's something
he doesn't want to do,

he says it's part of some vow.

Oh, I swear to God.

I am two seconds away
from forming a giant hammer,

and beating you both to death.

Is Supes here
to take over the world?

I don't know. Probably not.

But the risk
is just not worth the beef

between the US government
and the Justice Gang.

Not our name.
Makes us sound like cowboys.

But I agree with the rest.

So you're just gonna
let your friend rot

in a pocket universe?

That haircut should be
against your vows.

That what?

That what should be what?

I'll have you know
348 chicks say otherwise.

Hey!

What?

I'm not saying
we're gonna save him, but...

...I think we can at least
check out what's going on

with your boyfriend
at this Fort Kramer.

He's not--

We're just seeing each other.

But thanks.

You want me to drive?

We'll take my ride.

You have a flying saucer,

but you couldn't get
a faster garage door?

I haven't worked on that yet.

I'm not even sure how I feel.
Honestly.

- What?
- About Clark.

He's not my boyfriend.

We've actually just been
seeing each other...

- Yeah, lady, just to be clear,
- ...for a couple of months--

I'm not into people's emotions.

Yeah, no, totally.

I'm just thinking out loud.

I was gonna
break up with him, actually.

I mean, we had this huge fight,

and he told me he loved me,
and it just didn't...

Q&A time, alien.

Today we have a special guest.

I'm familiar with him.

And the smell of his piss
as we flew across the desert.

That is a lie!

No, not Vasil.
He's just here as an observer.

Mali.

Now, the US government
has a few questions for you.

Luthor, I barely know him.
He gave me food one time.

Who are you working with
here on Earth?

I'm not working
with anyone, Luthor.

Don't tell him nothing,
Superman.

I have no family or nothing.

Luthor, don't do this.

You eating my food
was a great honor, Superman.

- Ooh.
- No.

- Got lucky on that one.
- No, please.

No, Luthor,
don't do this. Please.

Let's try another question,
shall we, Superman?

- Luthor, don't do this.
- Who raised you as a child?

- I can't.
- I believe in you, Superman!

- No!
- Don't tell him--

I didn't imagine
that would go so quickly.

I'm sorry, it's...

Mr. Handsome.

I'll be back later with someone
else you've chatted with,

and I'll kill them too.

Maybe that reporter
you always do interviews with.

Maybe I'll kill Clark Kent next.

No, no, no, no.

♪ ...over me and you ♪

♪ And there'll be love
In the bodies ♪

♪ Of the elephants too ♪

♪ And I'll put my hands
Over your eyes ♪

♪ But you'll peep through ♪

♪ And there'll be sun, sun, sun
All over our faces ♪

Restricted area, pal!

Get back to your vehicle
and get out of here!

Whoa! What do we got here?

Hey! You see this guy?

Unbelievable.

- Hey!
- Um...

You at the wrong address, bro.

That's his path.

DNA trail leads to that tent.

Keep moving, clown.

Isn't that one of those
Justice guys?

It's just the smart one.

Hey! You heard the man.

I am giving you
one last chance to stop!

I was just about to
say the same to you.

Fire!

♪ It was fun, fun, fun
Oh, it was fun ♪

Fall back! Fall back!

Get out of the way!

Cover me!

Flank right!

♪ And she'll say ♪

♪ "Yeah, well, I feel
All pretty happy too ♪

♪ And I'm always pretty happy ♪

♪ When I'm just
Kicking back with you" ♪

♪ And it'll be love, love, love
All through our bodies ♪

♪ And love, love, love ♪

- Look out!
- ♪ All through our minds ♪

♪ Love, love, love
All over her face ♪

♪ Love, love, love ♪

♪ All over mine ♪

♪ Although admittedly
All these moments ♪

♪ Are just in my head ♪

♪ I'll be thinking about them
As I'm lying in bed ♪

♪ And I know that admittedly
It might not even come true ♪

♪ But in my mind I'm havin'
A pretty good time with you ♪

Holy shit.

Unbelievable.

That jackass
did create a pocket universe.

And that's... bad?

When creating a pocket universe,
if you are just one picometer off,

you will have a black hole
where Earth used to be.

And every time
you enter or exit,

you risk tearing a hole
in the fabric of reality.

You're kidding.

It's the type
of reckless science

Lex Luthor specializes in.

What are they doing?

They're trying to hack it.

So, I guess you decided to help.

Only because
it'll piss off Green Lantern.

Thanks.

He just killed that poor guy.

Mali. His name was Mali.

And I didn't... I-- I didn't...

I didn't do anything.

You said
you can get to my son, right?

Ooh.

Why are you still gross-looking?

I don't know.

I thought that...

It must be the sun.

What are you-- What sun?
There's no sun here.

That's the problem.
I need to heal.

I get my powers
from the yellow sun.

Just... give me a second.

Come on!

Hell, yeah. We're in.

Whoa! An antiproton river.

- Do we rappel?
- Rappel?

Where am I gonna get
the gear to rappel

into a pocket universe?

I don't know.
Maybe it comes out of your...

circles or something.

- Circles?
- What?

- T-spheres.
- Okay.

They're three-dimensional.
Circles are flat.

Sorry.

Unbelievable.

This place is filthy
with black hole vortexes,

and that antiproton river
will tear us apart in seconds.

We cannot go in ourselves.

Copy.

I can't make a sun.

I know.

I can only make something
kind of like a sun.

- What?
- All right.

Okay.

Okay,
we got hydrogen, and deuterium.

And we got helium.

- And compression, obviously.
- What are you doing?

Hey! Hey, no, no. Stop!

Enough! You're, you're gonna
get all of us in trouble!

Hey, bro, what are you doing?
Stop that!

He's doing something in here!

Guards! Guards!
He's doing something!

No, you are not going
to take credit for this.

I am the one that saw it first.

Oh, take a hike, Barbie!

- I'm getting the credit for it!
- Barbie?

These two are gonna
get us killed!

Guards! Guards!

- Raptors! Raptors!
- In here! Guards! Guards!

I'm seeing something
that you'd all wanna see!

Joey!

You have to take him.

I can't carry him
when I change forms.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, no, no! Krypto! Krypto!

Stop! Krypto! Krypto! Stop!

You're gonna
squash the baby. Stop!

What do you see?
Did you find him?

Oh, my God! What is that?

Portal's been open too long.

We can't stand here much longer.

Aw, you look like shit.

I'm fine.

I think we need to get to
those portals up there.

Uh, right. How do we...

...work them?

I don't know,
but we'll figure it out.

Yeah.

Joey!

Kill him! He's still weak!

All right, freak. Nice and slow.
Back in the cage.

What are you gonna do,
splash us?

Yes. With fluoroantimonic acid.

Do you have him?

- Hot damn.
- What?

It's a flying dog.

- Uh-oh.
- What?

Come on, come on!

No, no, no! No!

Black hole!

Oh, boy!

Krypto! Come here, boy!

I can't get out of this!

Krypto!

It's a black hole!
We'll never get out of it!

Pull us out!

Krypto! Come!

Stop it! Krypto! Help us out!

Bad boy!

Rex!

Joey!

Man, you are so weird.

- Do you have him?
- Them.

Superman,
a mean dog in a cape,

a weird baby,
and a squiggle man.

What?

- Terrific?
- Follow me!

Krypto! No! Leave it!

Are you kidding me?

Those things aren't cheap!

Oh, my gosh. Thank you.

Hey, buddy.

Hey. Hey.

- You came to get me.
- Yeah.

There's more people...
being held prisoner in there.

We gotta go get 'em.

- Whoa.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Not through here, you can't.
Not with you like this.

Clark, what the--

It's Kryptonite poisoning.

He'll heal,
but it'll take a day or two.

Get him someplace safe.
Take the T-craft.

The controls
are easy and intuitive.

I need to stay back here and
make sure the portal is secure.

Okay... okay.

Okay.

Okay.

No. Dog? Dog, I really need to--

No. Dog, I really need you to--

Come on.

Okay. Intuitive.

Yeah. For sure.

Okay.

That's it.

Whoa!

Pick that up!

Eve! Get out of here, you idiot!

Go!

Move!

How the hell
could he have gotten free? Hmm?

We need to find him.

Eve?

Oh, I'm so done, Jimmy.

Oh, um...

I have everything you need
to ruin Lex forever.

What? Where?

Oh, I have it right here.

How dare he
throw a pencil at me?

He's gonna regret harming me
for the rest of his life.

Such a jerk.

But if I send you this, Jimmy...

Uh-huh.

You have to promise me
we get to hang this weekend.

Just the two of us.

Uh...

- Okay.
- Yeah? Okay! Yay!

Uh-huh. How, uh... How long?

- All weekend.
- All weekend?

Oh, my God, Jimmy!

I'm sorry this is such
a major imposition on your life!

No, it's not an imposition, I--

I can tell
you don't really think so.

- No, no, no, no, no--
- Eve?

Come on, Eve.

I'm-- I'm Martha. This is Jon.

- I'm Lois. Hi.
- Lois.

Here, Son.

Hi, Ma.

Ma, they sent me here
to rule over everyone.

They sent me here
to kill people.

Clark, that ain't-- that ain't...

Is our boy gonna be okay?

Yes. Mr. Terrific says yes.

Don't mind him, Lois.

He's just a big ol' mush.

Especially
when it comes to Clark.

This girl is obsessed with you?

Uh-huh.

How do you do it, Jimmy?

Look, I didn't even want to bother you,

but you told me to call
with anything I got, so I--

Yeah, but I thought you said
she disappeared off the line.

I don't know. She might have
dropped her phone in the toilet.

She does that a lot.

Well, I'm not really sure
that sexy selfies are--

Your hot ex is a genius.

- Hot?
- We have to talk to Perry.

I'll be there as soon as I can, okay?

Sending sexy selfies
behind the back of Lex Luthor?

She has to be the biggest idiot
in the world.

Lex, he just told you,
the portal was destroyed!

The dimensional aperture
is still there...

Syd, tell him!

...which we can open remotely,
so open it.

It is not... safe!

We can close the aperture later

by inputting
the coordinates, correct?

- Theoretically.
- Great!

If we can't find him,
we'll need to draw him out.

But Lex,
that could tear

a dimensional rift
into the surrounding area!

This is something
you think I don't know?

- That shouldn't happen.
- Oh, you don't say!

- Can you... Can you stop it?
- Can I stop it?

This is why you don't create
a damn pocket universe.

There. Superman
won't be able to ignore that.

Now we know where he'll be next.

Thought you was out here.

Hey, Pa.

Never seen you sleep that long.

Last week me, Ma,
Hector and them,

we took a drive
to Beerki's Burritos

down in Luttus.

Like the one that used to be out
by that old, uh, blue barn,

out on that I-9,
you remember that?

- Mm-hmm.
- Burritos still just as good.

That Louanne,
she-- she seems nice.

- It's Lois.
- Hmm?

Her name's Lois.

But yeah, she's... she's nice.

But you don't seem
quite yourself.

Yeah, well, that message
that my parents sent with me,

I had never heard
the second half before.

Well, I'd say what you wanted
that message to mean

says a whole lot more about you

than what anyone meant
for it to mean.

Pa, you don't understand.

I'm not who I thought I was.

They sent me here
to hurt people.

Parents aren't for
telling their children

who they're supposed to be.

We are here to give y'aII tools,

help you make
fools of yourselves

all on your own.

No.

Your choices, Clark.

Your actions.

That's what makes you
who you are.

I'll tell you something, son.

I couldn't be...

...more proud of you.

Ol' mush.

Clark, there's something
on the box you might wanna see.

And over in Eastern Europe,

Boravian troops
gather at the border,

seemingly mere minutes away

from invading
Jarhanpur once again.

Now,
nearby villagers are willing

and ready
to defend their country,

despite the exponentially
superior firepower

of the well-trained Boravian military.

The villagers cling onto

what little hope they have left,

as they're surrounded
by the military.

Boravian president,
Vasil Ghurkos, says the invasion

is to protect
the Jarhanpurian people

from a tyrannical government.

Superman! Superman! Superman!

Superman! Superman! Superman!

Without Superman
here to stop it this time,

the Jarhanpurians don't have much hope.

I cleaned your boots.
I'll go get 'em for you.

Superman.

We need you here in Metropolis now.

I have to get to Boravia, Terrific.

There won't be a Boravia,
or a Metropolis,

or a Planet Earth,
if you don't get here soon.

This rift is about to
tear into the city.

I can't stop it.
I need your help.

All Metropolis citizens.

This is a mandatory evacuation.

this evacuation
is not optional.

This is a mandatory evacuation.

This is a mandatory evacuation.

Yeah, I'm sure
she's scared, but find her.

Yeah, we're all equally scared.

Come on, just put her on.

Please, Juanita, can you put
Persephone on the phone?

Yes, she will care! Cats
know the sound of your voice!

So, I was able to connect
with our contact at BodaBank.

Luthor's been
selling arms to Ghurkos

for pennies
on the dollar for years.

- Why, you ask?
- I do ask why.

He did it in exchange
for half of Jarhanpur.

You're kidding.

At first, I thought Eve
was just sending me selfies.

But in the background
of the shots

are maps, contracts,

all kinds of documents
chronicling Boravia's agreement

to cede half of the country
to Lex Luthor

once the invasion is complete.

He wants to make himself king.

- King?
- King.

Should we really
still be standing here?

Lois, you got that flying
saucer deal up on the roof?

- Yup.
- Grant. Troupe.

- Come on.
- Grab the board, Jimmy.

- How many does it hold?
- Five, or six. Six.

- Okay. Lombard, you too.
- Oh, thank you.

Why the hell would Lex
want half a desert?

His cultish acolytes believe
he's gonna create

a technologically advanced utopia.

Utopia?

There's a profit factor as well.

I mean,
the petroleum deposits alone

are worth multiples
of his investment.

Whatever his motives are,

we know Luthor
did everything he could

to ruin Superman's reputation.

Eve's photos show

he was behind the whole
Hammer of Boravia scam.

And all the bots stirring up

anti-Superman sentiment online.

Mr. Terrific believes
Luthor is also behind

the spreading rift
between universes out there.

All of it seems to be geared
toward stopping Superman

from standing in the way
of the Boravian invasion, Chief.

Call me Perry, kid. Post the story. Fast.

- Buckle up, kids.
- Why don't I have a seat?

- Jimmy, will you transcribe?
- Uh-huh.

Oh, God!

The Daily Planet has
obtained exclusive information

proving that billionaire
Lex Luthor is in league

with Boravian dictator,
Vasil Ghurkos.

Clark, are you close?

It's about to hit Metropolis,

and my codes
are not shutting it down.

Shit!

Uh-oh.

Lex! The rift is almost here!

So slow it down.

I can't unless I can
put the code in to stop it.

Hold on a minute then.

- We gotta go, man!
- Otis!

Not sure where we're gonna land
when the world is gone.

There's a code to close the rift,

but it's too complicated
to hack.

Luthor will have the code
at LuthorCorp.

Just give me a minute.
I'll get Krypto, and we'll go--

You brought that dog, man?

Yeah, I didn't-- didn't want him
killing my parents' cows.

Go on wide.

Wrong.
Focus on The Engineer.

- I'm on the alien, Larry.
- 7R.

It's not too late for either of you.

5A!

You don't have to do
what Luthor--

2X!

Now, Angela, as planned,

fill his lungs
and kill the son of a bitch.

Can't he hold his breath
for over an hour?

Not without air in his lungs.

He'll be dead in minutes.

The nanites
are suppressing his optic nerve.

Sight and X-ray vision
should be completely muted.

Lungs breached.

Da?

We will not sleep

until the street is flooded

with the blood of every Jarhanpurian!

What's his game?

Using friction
to get the nanites off?

Doesn't matter
if he gets them off his face.

The nanites
are still in his lungs.

Engineer, Ultraman, keep up.

We're trying.

- Maintain LOS.
- Yes. No shit, Larry.

Hurry.

He'll suffocate any minute.

Engineer, envelop him completely.

Wait! Wait, wait!
What is he doing?

I won't be able to sustain
the impact at this speed.

No, Angela, unsheathe!
He's the only one protected!

Entering the hole. Infrared, please?

Switch to night vision.

Whoa.

Her heart's still beating,
but she's unconscious.

Call in the Raptors.

What the hell?

That's right. Cloning you
was relatively simple.

All it took was combing
the aftermath of your battles...

...until I
located a strand of your hair.

That's how you got
into the Fortress.

You had my DNA.

Yes, but as is often the case
with cloning,

the match was imperfect.

He might be even stupider
than you. If that's possible.

But easier to control.

- 3L.
- And stronger.

22K!

31D!

2A!

5B! 5B!

6K! 9A!

My brain will always win!

Brain beats brawn!

Superman. Superman.

Superman. Superman.

No matter what you do to me,
Luthor,

your plans in Boravia
won't work.

Oh, really? Why's that?

'Cause I called in some friends.

Mr. Luthor?

There is an anomaly
at the border.

Sorry, kid.

Superman couldn't make it.

So you got an upgrade.

Our forces aren't prepared
to deal with metahuman anomalies.

I've sent the word to retreat.

Retreat?!

No! No! No!

We must get to the bunker!

The bunker!

I know you won't kill me.

You are too delicate and weak,
like Superman.

I'm not like Superman.

- It's perfect. Post it, kid.
- On it.

I think you overestimate
the importance

of Jarhanpur to me,
Superman.

That was just a bonus.

I'm not killing you

so the Boravian military
conflict can proceed.

I created
the Boravian military conflict

so I'd have an excuse
to kill you!

Once you involved yourself,

I knew I could easily get

our government's
support in nullifying you.

Why?

Because you're destroying us!

10Y. 13B.

You're driven by envy, Luthor.

- You couldn't be more obvious.
- No shit. I'm not dim.

I'm aware envy consumes
my every waking moment.

13L.

I know when they mention
Galileo or Einstein

or one of these other twits
in the same breath as me,

I feel a tide of vomit
burn the back of my throat.

But at least Galileo
did something.

He wasn't some dopey Venusian
catapulted onto this planet,

just to have the world
fawn over him,

because his strength illuminates
how weak we all really are.

So, my envy is a calling.

It is the sole hope for humanity,

because it is what has driven me
to annihilating you.

1A!

1A! 1A!

1A! 1A! 1A! 1A!

Yes.

Oh, what are you smirking at,
you idiot?

Brain beats brawn.

Sorry, chum.

No, no, no! No!

You watch him through those?
Tell him what to do?

Krypto.

Get the toy.

Uh, thir-thirty-s--
Oh, the stupid dog!

- Uh...
- Charlie down!

- 12C! Aah!
- Delta down.

36B--

- No.
- Hotel down!

- No!
- Bravo down.

- Bravo down!
- I just said that, Larry!

Alpha down!

Lex.

The Raptors have arrived.

- Kill him!
- Good luck with that.

Hey!

This ain't playtime!
Quit messin' around!

We have to get to Luthor
to stop the rift.

I'm not messing around.

I'm doing important stuff.

It's gonna reach Bakerline
any minute.

There are people there.

- We have to go.
- We'll never make it in time.

- It's almost here.
- We have to try. Come on.

Lex!

I'm closing the freakin' rift.

No! They chose him!
Let them die!

- We'll close it from the bunker
- What?

...before it gets
to a city I care about.

Open the portal!

Wrap it up. Let's go.

Safety first, people.

Hey. Hey. The code
to close the rift is in here.

- I can help.
- I don't need your help.

I'm goddamn Mr. Terrific.

You piece of shit alien!

That is where you've always
been wrong about me, Lex.

I'm as human as anyone.

I love, I... I get scared.

I wake up every morning, and
despite not knowing what to do,

I put one foot
in front of the other,

and I try to make
the best choices I can.

I screw up all the time.

But that is being human.

And that's my greatest strength.

And someday I hope,
for the sake of the world,

you understand
that it's yours too.

Oh, that's beautiful.

But none of this matters,
you patronizing clown.

The government gave me
the authority to kill you.

If not today, then tomor--

Ahh!

No, no, no!

Oh, my-- Stop.
Krypto, put him down.

Krypto, drop him!

Krypto, drop him! Drop him!

Dude.

Got it.

Yes!

Mmm.

- Lex.
- What?

Well, this just in.
An absolute bombshell

from the Daily Planet.

Billionaire Lex Luthor
aligning himself

with a foreign entity,
believe it or not.

Luthor has been giving them

billions and billions of
dollars' worth of free weapons--

Lex Luthor has been working
covertly with Vasil Ghurkos

and the Boravian government

to overthrow
the country of Jarhanpur.

Luthor has been giving them
billions...

We've had Luthor
on this show many times.

Little did we know, he was a traitor.

Seems like the one thing

conservatives and liberals
can finally agree on

is that Lex Luthor sucks.

The whole world has
turned against Superman,

and we all owe him
an enormous apology.

He is, of course, the hero
we always thought he was.

Thank you! Thank you!

That was sick.

Guy, maybe
he should join the group.

Please.

I mean, no offense, but that
creepy mug is what you want

representing the Justice Gang?

Justice Gang?

That's a cool name.

You're in.

Come on!

Glad you're not concerned

about the metahumans, Rick.

'Cause now they're the ones
making the rules.

Everyone file. This way, please.

Easy!

- Fleurette!
- Mom!

Oh!

Get his bald ass to Belle Reve.

Oh!

Now we can be together forever.

Miss Lane.

Oh, hi.

I thought I might give you
an interview.

I could fill you in
on all of the behind-the-scenes.

Sure.

I think that would be...

great.

Um...

How about over here?

For an interview.

Hey.

I love you, too.

How long
have they been hooking up?

About three months, I think.

Got this place cleaned up
pretty good.

Cleaned yourself up
pretty good, too.

- You think so?
- Yeah.

Think it gives you character.

Maybe one day
you'll give me a name.

Well. Four's a name.

So is Gary.

Aw, shoot.

Sir, I think
your cousin has returned.

- Yup.
- What the hell, dude?

Why did you move the door?

- I didn't move the door.
- Where is my dog?

Okay, well, this is why
he has behavioral issues.

No boundaries.

- It's not healthy, is it?
- Mm-mmm.

Come on.

Thanks for watching him, bitch.

She likes to go and party
on other planets.

- Planets with red suns.
- Oh.

Because of our metabolism,

we can't get drunk
on a planet with a yellow sun.

If I had any emotional capacity
whatsoever,

I'd be concerned
about her partying.

Yeah.

Superman, would you like to see
the footage of your parents?

- He finds it soothing.
- Oh!

Yeah, Gary, that'd be nice.

♪ I'm driving to my star ♪

Everything you see,

you're seeing for the first time.

♪ I'm listening to the music
With no fear ♪

All of this is for you.

♪ You can hear it too
If you're sincere ♪

Clark.

♪ 'Cause I'm a punk rocker
Yes, I am ♪

♪ Well, I'm a punk rocker
Yes, I am ♪

You did it!

♪ 'Cause I'm a punk rocker
Yes, I am ♪

♪ Well, I'm a punk rocker
Yes, I am ♪

♪ I see you stagger
In the street ♪

♪ And you can't stay
On your feet ♪

♪ And you're faking
In your sleep ♪

♪ You wish that you were deep ♪

♪ But you can't hear me
Laughing to myself ♪

♪ If you could
You would be someone else ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm a punk rocker
Yes, I am ♪

♪ Well, I'm a punk rocker
Yes, I am ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm a punk rocker
Yes, I am ♪

♪ Well, I'm a punk rocker
Yes, I am ♪

♪ See me die on Bleecker Street ♪

♪ I'm bored with being God ♪

♪ See me steering in my car ♪

♪ I'm driving to my star ♪

♪ I'm listening to the music
With no fear ♪

♪ You can hear it too
If you're sincere ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm a punk rocker
Yes, I am ♪

♪ Well, I'm a punk rocker
Yes, I am ♪

One, two, three, four!

♪ We're on a planet of our own
That we made from the bones ♪

♪ Of the ones that we KO'd ♪

♪ Oi oi oi ♪

♪ Gonna dig an early grave
For the daughters ♪

♪ And deprave them
With those depressing days ♪

♪ Oi oi oi ♪

♪ Ain't gonna take this
Ain't gonna take this ♪

♪ I am a hellion
The new rebellion ♪

♪ Say our name, boy
Just say our name, boy ♪

♪ It's the Mighty Crabjoys ♪

♪ Oi oi oi ♪

♪ I know you said
This wouldn't last ♪

♪ That's a voice
That's from your past ♪

♪ I don't listen to those rats ♪

♪ Oi oi oi ♪

♪ My mother says
That I'm a fool ♪

♪ Dad says
Obey the rules ♪

♪ They can't see
This stunning jewel ♪

♪ Oi oi oi ♪

♪ Not gonna take this ♪

♪ We will not take this ♪

♪ We are the hellions
The new rebellions ♪

♪ It was your world, boy
Now it's our world, boy ♪

♪ We are the Mighty Crabjoys ♪

♪ Oi oi oi ♪

♪ We are the Mighty Crabjoys ♪

♪ Oi oi oi ♪

♪ We are the Mighty Crabjoys ♪

♪ Oi oi oi ♪

♪ We are the Mighty ♪

Whoo!

♪ Crabjoys ♪

Hmm.

What?

Yeah?

It's just... a little off.

What do you want me to do?

Do you want me to take it apart
and put it back together?

No, no, no, no. I was just...

You just what?

Hey, man. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to bum you out.

I shouldn't have brought it up.

Darn it,
I can be such a jerk sometimes.