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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:10,487 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪ 2 00:00:10,488 --> 00:00:12,446 ♪ Gonna have myself a time 3 00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:13,926 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 4 00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:15,841 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 5 00:00:15,928 --> 00:00:17,060 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪ 6 00:00:17,147 --> 00:00:18,930 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 7 00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,716 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 8 00:00:20,846 --> 00:00:22,500 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪ 9 00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:23,719 ♪ I'm headin' on down to South Park ♪ 10 00:00:23,849 --> 00:00:25,851 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 11 00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,333 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪ 12 00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:32,162 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪ 13 00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:41,954 Hey, fellas! Fellas! 14 00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:44,566 You wanna know what time I woke up this morning? 15 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,655 - What time? - Around six-seven! 16 00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:49,005 all: Six-seven! 17 00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:50,528 Oh, hey, Annie. Ladies. 18 00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:52,878 Did you guys do your homework last night? 19 00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:56,490 I tried to, but I got stuck on problems six and seven! 20 00:00:56,491 --> 00:00:58,100 all: Six-seven! 21 00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:00,755 Hey, Eric! 22 00:01:00,756 --> 00:01:02,365 I know, Butters. I know. Don't do it to me. 23 00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:04,194 It's too funny. - But I just did a six-seven 24 00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:06,369 with Annie and Megan at the same time! 25 00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:07,980 Yeah, five minutes ago I snuck up on Wendy 26 00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:09,373 and totally six-seven'd her from behind. 27 00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:10,721 - Wow! - Hey, Scott. 28 00:01:10,722 --> 00:01:11,984 How's your diabetes, man? 29 00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:15,597 - My diabetes? - Yeah, what's your A1C at? 30 00:01:15,684 --> 00:01:17,120 6.7. 31 00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:19,818 all: Six-seven! 32 00:01:19,949 --> 00:01:21,123 Oh, my God. 33 00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:23,561 So fucking funny. 34 00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:27,956 All right, everyone, listen up. 35 00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:30,786 I've gotten a lot of reports of disruptions in the classroom 36 00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:33,789 and some satanic numerology shit going on. 37 00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:36,792 So I want to remind you this is a Power Christian school, 38 00:01:36,922 --> 00:01:38,314 and I am a Power Christian Principal, 39 00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:40,011 and we will be PC! 40 00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:42,058 So now I want you to hear from someone 41 00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:45,017 who is the highest authority on Biblical prophecies. 42 00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:47,846 This person is an absolute expert on the end of days 43 00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:49,718 and the coming of the Antichrist. 44 00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:52,503 Please welcome Mr. Pete Thiel. 45 00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:57,813 ♪ Peter Thiel knows about the Antichrist ♪ 46 00:01:57,943 --> 00:02:00,858 ♪ Peter Thiel knows about the Antichrist ♪ 47 00:02:00,859 --> 00:02:06,082 ♪ I'm Peter Thiel and I know about the Antichrist ♪ 48 00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:07,561 ♪ Let's learn about the Antichrist today ♪ 49 00:02:07,562 --> 00:02:09,258 ♪ Today 50 00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:10,390 Hello, kids, I'm Peter Thiel, and I'm here to talk to you 51 00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:12,132 about the Antichrist! 52 00:02:15,004 --> 00:02:17,266 OK, so first, what is the Antichrist? 53 00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:19,226 The Antichrist is a newer, more human form of Satan 54 00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:20,617 that will soon walk the Earth. 55 00:02:20,618 --> 00:02:22,098 We don't know how soon it will walk the Earth, 56 00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:24,186 but it could be within the next six to seven weeks. 57 00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:26,581 Six-seven! 58 00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:29,758 Uh, kay. 59 00:02:29,845 --> 00:02:31,673 Uh, you see, Satan was a fallen angel 60 00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,283 and God punished him, 61 00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:35,851 and to make sure that Satan could never have offspring, 62 00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:38,897 the Lord God did shrink Satan's asshole 63 00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:41,987 to the size of a tiny, little pinhole 64 00:02:42,074 --> 00:02:45,643 so nothing could ever penetrate and ejaculate inside of it. 65 00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:48,342 So Satan could never have a butt baby until 66 00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:50,648 along came Mr. Donald Trunp, 67 00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:53,824 whose penis is so teeny, teeny tiny 68 00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:56,654 it could actually fit in Satan's asshole. 69 00:02:56,785 --> 00:02:58,526 How small is Donald Trump's penis? 70 00:02:58,656 --> 00:03:01,224 Somewhere between six and seven centimeters. 71 00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:04,706 Six-seven! 72 00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:06,925 Hey, look, this is very important, people. 73 00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:08,666 OK, the Antichrist is coming. 74 00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:12,321 The Bible refers to the eagle, which refers to America, 75 00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:14,280 the fourth seal broken, and hell coming to Earth. 76 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:18,285 It's right here in Revelations 6... 77 00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:19,763 six-seven. 78 00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:22,289 Six-seven! 79 00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:27,336 Good, and breathe in through your nose. 80 00:03:27,337 --> 00:03:28,947 And out through your mouth. 81 00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:30,732 In--two, three four. 82 00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:32,734 And exhale--two, three, four. 83 00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:34,430 Good. Let your shoulders soften. 84 00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:36,259 Let your jaw relax. 85 00:03:36,346 --> 00:03:38,870 Now gentle pressure on the hips as your partner exhales. 86 00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:40,001 Good. 87 00:03:40,002 --> 00:03:42,526 This is so boring! 88 00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:44,702 How about you shut up and do your job? 89 00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,703 Ah, come on, Satan! 90 00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,096 How about we just go home and fuck? 91 00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:49,968 We haven't had sex in forever. 92 00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:52,275 That's because it's bad for the baby. 93 00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,495 Yeah, but fuck the baby. This is stupid! 94 00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,279 Did you just say "fuck the baby"? 95 00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:58,716 Hey, relax, guy. 96 00:03:58,847 --> 00:04:00,674 I didn't mean like really fuck the baby! 97 00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:02,416 No, you know what? You can just go home. 98 00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:03,765 I'll finish this myself. 99 00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:05,723 You can go home and jack off if you want. 100 00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:07,899 Perfect. 101 00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:29,007 Hello, boss! 102 00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:30,661 Ah! Shit! 103 00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:31,966 Good news, boss, 104 00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:34,751 we just shut down another abortion clinic. 105 00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,710 Oh, yeah, great. That's great. 106 00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:37,973 Yes, boss. 107 00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:40,671 You've made all the Christians so happy. 108 00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:44,370 Of course, there is still one more clinic 109 00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,329 that will still perform abortions 110 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:48,244 right here in town. 111 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,941 - There is? - Oh, yes. 112 00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:53,162 How unfortunate that some babies 113 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:56,121 will not be able to be born. 114 00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:59,473 As Christians, we can't allow this to continue. 115 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,779 Perhaps you should go speak 116 00:05:01,910 --> 00:05:04,520 with this abortion doctor personally. 117 00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:07,132 Yeah. Yeah! 118 00:05:09,787 --> 00:05:11,311 Come on. 119 00:05:13,791 --> 00:05:15,402 PC Principal, do you have a minute? 120 00:05:15,532 --> 00:05:16,925 Sure, Jesus. What do you need? 121 00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:19,797 I'm starting to wonder if I really fit in here. 122 00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:21,451 Course you fit in. 123 00:05:21,582 --> 00:05:23,453 This school's been a cesspool of heathen left-wing 124 00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:26,542 little bitches, and only our faith is gonna set them right. 125 00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:28,979 Could I ask exactly 126 00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:32,027 what branch of Christianity are you? 127 00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:33,245 The kind that loves his country 128 00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:35,247 and doesn't tolerate any fucking fags. 129 00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:38,641 Yeah, see, I-I really think I don't belong here. 130 00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,556 Look, I understand it's a tough transition. 131 00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:42,210 You know, the vice principal here 132 00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:44,387 had the same conflict as you, but she's really come around. 133 00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:46,389 The vice principal? Your wife? 134 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,781 That's right. 135 00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:49,696 Can you send in Strong Christian Woman, please? 136 00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:52,090 She was saying this wasn't the place for her anymore, 137 00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:54,353 but just this last weekend, she converted to Christianity. 138 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,922 You wanted to see me? 139 00:05:58,053 --> 00:05:59,619 Yeah, Strong Christian Woman, I was just telling Jesus 140 00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:00,664 here about our faith. 141 00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:03,624 Oh, yes, it's been such a blessing. 142 00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:05,974 She converted on Saturday. What do you think, huh? 143 00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:07,976 You ever seen a more Christian chick in your fucking life? 144 00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:09,543 Never. 145 00:06:09,673 --> 00:06:11,109 Look, I know it's a hard adjustment, 146 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,458 but just stick with it, 147 00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,591 and you're gonna fit in here just fine, Jesus. 148 00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,347 Everything go good at school today, honey? 149 00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:33,784 Yep, yep. School was good. 150 00:06:33,871 --> 00:06:37,222 School was pretty good. 151 00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:38,702 Is everything OK, honey? 152 00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:39,833 Yeah. Everything's fine. 153 00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,269 It's fine. 154 00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:43,490 Mom? Uh, could I-- could I ask you something? 155 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:44,578 Sure, Eric. 156 00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:46,014 Do you know, um-- 157 00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:47,581 do you know on average, 158 00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:49,931 um, at what age kids lose their baby teeth? 159 00:06:50,061 --> 00:06:51,585 Oh, I'm not sure, Eric. 160 00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:53,804 I guess usually around six, seven? 161 00:06:57,982 --> 00:06:59,027 OK. 162 00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:00,245 Eric, what? 163 00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:01,508 No, nothing. Nothing. I'm sorry. 164 00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:02,944 I'm sorry. 165 00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:05,381 I was just, uh-- I was just, um-- 166 00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,905 I was just thinking about your menstrual cycle. 167 00:07:08,036 --> 00:07:09,690 My menstrual cycle? 168 00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,561 Yeah, I was just wondering 169 00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:14,302 when you actual menstruate, Mom. 170 00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:17,349 Like, roughly, how many days does that last? 171 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,654 Well, Eric, it's usually around 172 00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:20,047 six to seven days that a woman-- 173 00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:27,272 Oh. Oh. 174 00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:39,110 Eric? Sweetie? 175 00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:45,203 Eric, what is going on? This keeps happening. 176 00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:48,206 Mom, Mom, you gotta tell me something. 177 00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:49,555 Of course, honey. 178 00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:51,731 Roughly how many nights-- 179 00:07:51,732 --> 00:07:53,081 have I been throwing up at dinner? 180 00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:54,777 I-I don't know, Eric. 181 00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,127 It's probably been six or seven nights-- 182 00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,619 Hey, Jesus, get your stuff, man. 183 00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,403 We're going out for drinks. - What? 184 00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:13,536 Look, I know it's been hard for you 185 00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:14,928 trying to adjust here and everything, 186 00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:16,234 so the wife and I were talking 187 00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:17,496 and we found a nice Christian lady 188 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,541 we're gonna set you up with. 189 00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:21,630 Oh, I don't think so. Thanks, but-- 190 00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:23,328 Oh, come on, man. She's a really great woman, 191 00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:25,373 and she just converted to Christianity. 192 00:08:25,374 --> 00:08:29,683 My wife met her at the same place that she became Christian. 193 00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,467 So then I was like, "You know what? 194 00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:33,381 I need a new direction in my life. 195 00:08:33,382 --> 00:08:35,906 It's like I just got so sick of everyone being such a pussy 196 00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:37,951 all the time, and all this woke garbage 197 00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:39,693 and women trying to be men. 198 00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:41,564 So I just started reading the Bible, you know? 199 00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:43,173 I mean, I didn't actually read the Bible, 200 00:08:43,174 --> 00:08:44,871 but I listened to a lot of podcasts. 201 00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:46,568 And once I went through my transition, I was like, 202 00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:48,136 "This is great," 203 00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:51,139 only now, guys are always checking out my Christianity. 204 00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:52,706 Sorry, could you all excuse me? 205 00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,272 I need to go to the bathroom. 206 00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:55,926 Sure thing, Jesus. 207 00:08:58,189 --> 00:09:00,496 He seems nice. 208 00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:28,045 Miss Davidson? 209 00:09:28,176 --> 00:09:32,615 Miss Coco Slutty Davidson? 210 00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:34,182 Oh, yeah, that's me! 211 00:09:34,269 --> 00:09:36,097 I'm Coco Slutty Davidson. 212 00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:37,402 I'm just here to get an abortion. 213 00:09:41,537 --> 00:09:44,322 The doctor's right in here... ma'am. 214 00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:46,760 Hey, doc! 215 00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:53,679 All right, listen, 216 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,638 I need you to perform an abortion, but it's not for me. 217 00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:57,073 It's for my partner. 218 00:09:57,074 --> 00:09:58,293 And you can't tell anyone, 219 00:09:58,423 --> 00:10:00,295 not even my partner. 220 00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:01,905 How am I supposed to do that? 221 00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,298 Well, you're gonna come with me, see, 222 00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:04,951 and we're gonna sneak into my house, 223 00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:07,998 and you're gonna suck that thing out while everyone's asleep. 224 00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:10,304 You house wouldn't happen to be white, would it? 225 00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:11,567 Hey! How do you know that? 226 00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,742 Look, Mr. President, I've seen the news. 227 00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:16,354 If you got Satan pregnant, that's your responsibility. 228 00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,312 Well, it's your responsibility now! 229 00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:20,096 Or else I'll sue you, how about that? 230 00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:22,099 Even if I wanted to help you, sir, 231 00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:23,884 I have no idea how to perform an abortion 232 00:10:24,014 --> 00:10:25,581 on the offspring of Satan. 233 00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:28,844 To do that, you'd need some kind of expert on the Antichrist. 234 00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:34,677 ♪ Peter Thiel knows about the Antichrist ♪ 235 00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:37,940 ♪ Peter Thiel knows about the Antichrist ♪ 236 00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:42,858 ♪ I'm Peter Thiel and I know about the Antichrist ♪ 237 00:10:45,296 --> 00:10:46,689 All right, listen, 238 00:10:46,776 --> 00:10:48,777 you people have a very serious problem here. 239 00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:51,127 Your students appear to be in some kind of cult 240 00:10:51,128 --> 00:10:52,868 involving the numbers six and seven. 241 00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:54,697 All right, so what should we do? 242 00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:57,569 I'm going to need access to all your school's private data-- 243 00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,833 school records, health records, and of course, 244 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,355 all security cameras. 245 00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:03,924 Oh, no, look, I don't think we need it-- 246 00:11:04,054 --> 00:11:06,056 Is this really what we've come to? 247 00:11:06,143 --> 00:11:08,188 Freely handing people's personal data over 248 00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:10,539 to some tech billionaire preaching shit about the Bible? 249 00:11:12,846 --> 00:11:15,500 You got a problem with Jesus, bro? 250 00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:18,589 Come on, man, you became a Christian like three months ago. 251 00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:20,330 Yeah, I've got fucking faith, dude! 252 00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:21,941 What do you have, you little bitch? 253 00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:23,159 You wanna throw down, bro? 254 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,813 OK, hey, hey, hey-- 255 00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:25,945 You wanna see what it feels like to talk shit 256 00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:27,250 about Christians, dude? 257 00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:30,166 I'll kick your heathen ass, bro! 258 00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:45,226 All right, just try to be still, Eric. 259 00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:47,184 Doctor, could I ask a question? 260 00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:48,576 Of course. 261 00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:50,535 About how long-- 262 00:11:50,622 --> 00:11:52,102 do you need me to be still? 263 00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:53,973 Just about ten seconds, Eric. 264 00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:54,931 OK. 265 00:11:57,499 --> 00:11:58,804 So how long now? 266 00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:00,327 Just another six, seven seconds, Eric-- 267 00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:11,034 I'm sorry, Mrs. Cartman, but we can't pinpoint 268 00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:12,688 the source of his illness. 269 00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:17,214 If he continues to vomit this much daily, 270 00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:19,260 I'm afraid it could be life threatening. 271 00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:21,043 But, doctor, 272 00:12:21,044 --> 00:12:23,872 if I'm not able to keep any food down, 273 00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:26,876 roughly how long would it take-- 274 00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:29,792 roughly how long would it take for the human body to die? 275 00:12:29,879 --> 00:12:32,012 Eric, I'm gonna be very honest with you. 276 00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:33,839 Without sufficient nutrients, 277 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,754 the body shuts down after six to seven weeks. 278 00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:46,677 Excuse me, that's my computer. 279 00:12:46,678 --> 00:12:49,202 Yes. And your computer has all the personal data 280 00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:51,031 of the students here. - It's OK, Jesus, 281 00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:52,510 Peter Thiel knows what he's doing. 282 00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,512 I've downloaded all the students' information 283 00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:57,254 and loaded them into an AI face detection program 284 00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:59,648 so the school's security cameras can watch their every move. 285 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,519 Now look. 286 00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:03,521 Two students passing each other in the hallway. 287 00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:06,610 They give each other the sign-- six, seven. 288 00:13:06,611 --> 00:13:08,918 Exactly 67 seconds later, 289 00:13:09,049 --> 00:13:12,182 this odd parka-wearing child makes the same gesture. 290 00:13:12,269 --> 00:13:14,705 And then inside the girls bathroom, 291 00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:17,099 two girls doing the same thing. 292 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:20,538 Wait, why is there a camera inside the girls bathroom? 293 00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:23,063 To stop the Antichrist. 294 00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:25,195 Now I'm following the lead on this girl here. 295 00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:28,502 She went home to 67 Mala Vista Drive. 296 00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:30,331 Going through her family's medical records, 297 00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:33,072 I found that her father has testicular cancer 298 00:13:33,073 --> 00:13:36,990 and 67 days ago, had one testicle removed. 299 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,514 That really feels like none of our business. 300 00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:41,167 I don't know how I'm supposed to work 301 00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:43,518 with Nosy Nancy peering over my shoulder all the time. 302 00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:45,085 Jesus, let's you and me have a quick chin wiggle 303 00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:46,390 out in the hall. 304 00:13:54,616 --> 00:13:56,313 I'm getting close. 305 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,360 I almost have the key to stop it from happening. 306 00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:03,537 We are running out of time, Mr. Thiel. 307 00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:05,974 The Antichrist is coming. 308 00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:10,283 Satan is shopping for baby strollers as we speak. 309 00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:13,200 If I'm going to learn what these numbers mean, 310 00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:16,333 I'm going to need access to every government database. 311 00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:18,814 You will have it, Mr. Thiel. 312 00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:21,511 Nothing is more important than making sure 313 00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:24,906 this baby is not born. 314 00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:33,481 Look, man, I know it's tough, 315 00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:35,525 but you gotta understand that drastic times 316 00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:38,006 call for drastic measures. 317 00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:41,706 I just don't feel good about treating people this way. 318 00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:44,492 I think the most important thing still has to be loving 319 00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:46,145 and respecting each other. 320 00:14:48,583 --> 00:14:50,149 All right, man, I need to ask you something 321 00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:52,282 and I need you to tell me the truth. 322 00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:54,415 Are you a fag? 323 00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:56,069 No. That has nothing to do with it. It just-- 324 00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:57,765 Are you fucking sure? 325 00:14:57,766 --> 00:15:00,463 I'm just trying to say that I'm really confused right now. 326 00:15:00,464 --> 00:15:02,161 OK, but confused like you don't know if you're attracted 327 00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:03,814 to dudes, or like what? 328 00:15:03,815 --> 00:15:07,993 Like how we can just change everything about who we are. 329 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:09,559 I think you still just don't understand 330 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,172 what Christians today are about. 331 00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:17,090 Come on. There's someone I think you should talk to. 332 00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:18,613 Oh, yes, the Antichrist! 333 00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:21,441 I've listened to a lot of podcasts about that. 334 00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:23,834 Everyone keeps saying how the Antichrist is coming, 335 00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:25,401 but I'm like "He already did! 336 00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:28,056 I was married to him in 2018!" 337 00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:30,016 But seriously, if he saw how Christian I was now, 338 00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:31,930 he'd probably shit his pants. 339 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,671 Don't be jealous. 340 00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:35,456 He's so funny. 341 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,817 Hey. 342 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,950 Hey, Satan. 343 00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:03,919 - Hello, boss. - Ah! Fuck! Shit! 344 00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:05,659 Oh, sorry, boss. 345 00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:07,835 I did not know Satan was sleeping. 346 00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:09,793 Yeah, that's all he ever does anymore. 347 00:16:09,794 --> 00:16:11,535 Poor boss. 348 00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:14,147 If you're going to jack off, shall I fetch your cum rag? 349 00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:15,931 Hey! I wasn't jacking off! 350 00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:16,975 Sure thing, boss. 351 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,803 I'll go get your cum rag. 352 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,681 What is taking you so long? 353 00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:29,683 I'm very close to finding the secret of the numbers. 354 00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:31,641 I've narrowed it down to one little boy 355 00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:33,469 who seems more possessed than the others. 356 00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:34,950 Then deal with him, 357 00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:37,082 and keep it quiet. 358 00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:39,694 Nobody can know that we are working together. 359 00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:41,521 When I become president, 360 00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:45,265 I will give you full access to everyone's data. 361 00:16:45,395 --> 00:16:47,528 I've already spoken with the mother, 362 00:16:47,658 --> 00:16:51,053 and I'm on my way now to face the child. 363 00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:08,591 ♪ Peter Thiel knows about the Antichrist ♪ 364 00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:13,944 ♪ I'm Peter Thiel and I know about the Antichrist ♪ 365 00:17:13,945 --> 00:17:15,816 ♪ Let's deal with the Antichrist today ♪ 366 00:17:15,817 --> 00:17:17,558 ♪ Today 367 00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:19,298 Is your son home? 368 00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:21,517 Yes, Mr. Thiel. 369 00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:25,000 He's right upstairs. 370 00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:45,368 Eric, I'm Peter Thiel. 371 00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,718 I'm here to help our country. 372 00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:49,328 Uh, OK. 373 00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:52,462 I came to see you... 374 00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:55,161 in an Uber, Eric. 375 00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:01,906 Would you like to know how long it took me to get here? 376 00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:05,300 How long? 377 00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:07,389 It took... 378 00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:08,869 around six or seven minutes. I'm not really-- 379 00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:15,136 No way! No way! 380 00:18:17,618 --> 00:18:20,273 You know, they're all just a bunch of libtards anyways. 381 00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:22,535 I know what's up. I listen to podcasts. 382 00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:24,537 You wanna know who I think the Antichrist is? 383 00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:26,061 Greta Thunberg. 384 00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:28,237 With her stupid haircut and her dumb bangs. 385 00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:30,544 Someone should yank out whatever's up her ass. 386 00:18:32,502 --> 00:18:33,546 I can't. 387 00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,679 I just can't! 388 00:18:42,512 --> 00:18:44,166 Everything all right, bud? 389 00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:45,646 No, everything's not all right! 390 00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:47,604 I don't know what I'm doing here! 391 00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:50,258 You're trying to get with the program, bro! 392 00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:52,130 Peggy Rockbottom is a hot Christian girl, 393 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,045 now stop acting gay! 394 00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:56,612 Look, I don't know what you think Christianity is, 395 00:18:56,613 --> 00:18:59,180 but it has nothing to do with that. 396 00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:00,703 What are you saying? 397 00:19:00,704 --> 00:19:02,837 I'm saying that you and a lot of other people 398 00:19:02,967 --> 00:19:05,795 seem to have a very warped sense of what Christianity is. 399 00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,450 Are you questioning my faith? 400 00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:09,364 You wanna fucking go? 401 00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:11,671 No, I don't want to fucking go. 402 00:19:11,672 --> 00:19:14,152 - You got a problem, bro? - No, I don't have a problem. 403 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,023 You actually have a problem. 404 00:19:16,024 --> 00:19:17,547 You need a way to bully people 405 00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:19,200 and you're using the Bible to do it. 406 00:19:21,247 --> 00:19:24,511 You like that? Yeah! You want some more? 407 00:19:27,383 --> 00:19:29,297 I'm not gonna fight you! 408 00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:31,779 Damn right you won't, 'cause you're a gay little pussy! 409 00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:35,304 Yeah, don't come back! 410 00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:37,698 You're gonna get some more, bitch! 411 00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:41,354 Tell me what it means! 412 00:19:44,052 --> 00:19:45,879 The Lord labored six days 413 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,447 and on the seventh, He rested! 414 00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:53,017 You will tell me the significance! 415 00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:57,674 There's nothing more I can do here. 416 00:19:57,805 --> 00:20:00,633 I have to take him to Washington D.C. 417 00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:04,072 Washington? Oh, no, he can't travel now. 418 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,899 He's very sick. 419 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:09,904 Your son is the key to saving our country, Ms. Cartman. 420 00:20:10,034 --> 00:20:12,906 Everything we hold dear could end. 421 00:20:12,907 --> 00:20:15,301 We have to unlock the secrets he holds, 422 00:20:15,431 --> 00:20:18,695 no matter what it takes. 423 00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:30,533 ♪ Sister Christian, oh, the time has come ♪ 424 00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:34,842 ♪ And you know that you're the only one ♪ 425 00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:38,976 ♪ To say "OK" ♪ 426 00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:46,766 ♪ Where you going? What you looking for? ♪ 427 00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:51,075 ♪ You know those boys don't wanna play no more ♪ 428 00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:53,512 ♪ With you ♪ 429 00:20:53,513 --> 00:20:56,080 ♪ It's true 430 00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:10,443 ♪ You're motorin' ♪ 431 00:21:10,530 --> 00:21:15,751 ♪ What's your price for flight? ♪ 432 00:21:15,752 --> 00:21:21,105 ♪ In finding Mr. Right 433 00:21:21,192 --> 00:21:24,717 ♪ You'll be all right tonight ♪ 434 00:21:28,243 --> 00:21:29,765 Fuck yeah, Jesus! 435 00:21:29,766 --> 00:21:31,767 ♪ You're motorin' 436 00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:36,991 ♪ What's your price for flight? ♪ 437 00:21:37,121 --> 00:21:39,385 ♪ In finding Mr. Right? ♪ 438 00:21:39,515 --> 00:21:41,256 Let's fucking go, bro! 439 00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:45,738 Yes, baby! Yes! 440 00:21:45,739 --> 00:21:48,611 ♪ Tonight 32586

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