Original subtitles

[Instrumental Music]

Oh I just got Devin and Eboni's

Christmas lists, and thankfully it

looks like we'll be doin' all online shoppin' this year.

Lists? Are kids are too grown to be

submittin' Christmas lists.

Eh Tony, just because they're in college, doesn't

mean we don't get gifts for them. They're still our babies.

And besides, these lists actually...they're both pretty reasonable.

Lisa, our babies need to be buyin' gifts for us.

When exactly does that paradigm shift kick in?

They've...brought us gifts in the past.

- Tony. - Eh, that's true. That's true. I remember Eboni

got me a sugar mani/pedi

at the Pretty Lady Palace,

knowin' good and damn well I was gonna turn around and let her use it.

- It's the thought that counts. - Mm hm.

Well I think we should implement some new gift-giving rules.

How about this? One gift per person,

and a kind act of servitude?

Hm, yeah. To go with that little Grinchley attitude of yours.

Call it whatcha want.

Kids need to learn that it's better to give than to receive.

I mean I like the idea of service. What are you thinkin'?

You guys go feed the homeless. I'll wait in the car. Keep it warm.

You know, practice patience.

It's all about payin' it forward.

Mm hm...is that right, Tony?

- Mm hm. - Well I will think of a service we

can all participate in together as a family

But for now, I'm gonna go get the house ready for the tree-trimming,

ugly sweater party.

Okay, at least you're already dressed for it.

Oh is that right?

[Theme Music]

* Woke up and my wife said to me,

* The bill collectors want their fees

* The kids keep talkin' back to me

* Family Time

* Family Time. Family Time

* Family Time. Woa oah oah oh yeah eah eh

[Instrumental Music]

[Door opens]

[Door creaks]

Boy, you better be just gettin' in from an early mornin' workout.

Technically, partying is

a workout.

Did you forget that you have a curfew?

Curfew? Dad, at college I get to leave

home when I want to, and come home when I want to.

It's all good.

Well now you're at Stallworth University where you can

major in gettin' your ass whooped.

[Audience laughter]

Look, I pay the mortgage here, okay. So

there are rules!

[Footsteps approaching]

Let me guess, Devin. You're getting that my house, my rules

curfew speech?

Yep. Dad is trippin' cause I

went to a party with my friends last night.

Correction. Last night and half this mornin'.

Y'all keep it up, and I'm about to reinstate y'all old curfews.

Devin, shut up before we have to be home by 11:00.

- Hey, so you guys remember my cousin

Alicia's and Roger's kids, they're comin' to stay with us for the holidays.

[Audience laughter]

The Walls group.

Remember? I told you. They're comin' in town to perform at

Ebenezer's Christmas Extravaganza.

- Ebenezer Scrooge?

- Tony, Mount Ebenezer's A&E Church.

You know, the church where you haven't been in over a year.

That's because I became a member of Bedside Baptist.

[Audience laughter]

- Wait, are these they same cousins that came years ago

wearin' matchin' plaid outfits?

- Yeah, that's them and they're gonna be here in a few,

so I need y'all to play hosts.

[Sighs] Oh, do we have to?

Yeah. Those country fried cousins are gonna put a

cramp in my holiday social calendar.

And Devy Dev can't do that.

Oh, keep talkin' and Devy Dev won't have a calendar to cramp.

Dad, come on. Help a brotha out.

I suggest you guys go upstairs and clean your rooms,

and make some space for a Jethro and Cooter and them.

Okay, Tony. Come on, get it right.

It's Darryl, Raya, Apoco and Aja,

and they're gonna be here very soon, so--

[Knocking]

There.

- Oh, hey.

- Yo, what's good? - What's up, what's up, what's up?

What's the deal, fam?

- Good to see y'all. - Hey, hey.

- Missed y'all. - [Devin] Okay.

[Instrumental Music]

[Groaning] Lookin' delicious!

- So is this food, you know what I'm talkin' about? - Yes it is.

- Hey! - Let me get a little bit of food.

- What are you doin', Tony? - Hm?

- Um, what are you doin'? - I'm about to make me a plate.

- What does it look like I'm doin'? - That's for the kids!

What part of the game is that?

Okay, I can buy the food but I can't eat none of it?

Yeah...come on, Tony. You know how it is.

I always cook when we have company.

Well we need to have company more often.

[Audience laughter]

[Devin yawns]

- Mornin' y'all. - [Tony] Mm.

The dead has arisen.

- Late night?

Yeah, me Eboni and the cousins, we was out

late till about 2:30 turnin'

up. We shut that karaoke bar down.

You mean your cousins shut that bar down.

You couldn't hit a note with a baseball bat.

- Whatever, Dad.

Hey y'all, Mom's made breakfast. Come on in here.

- Looks-- - What? - Look was here.

Hey, good mornin'. Good mornin'.

- Eggs and bacon. - Yes!

- I like it here.

- Hey hey, chew, chew, chew. - Hey, woa, woa, woa!

Slow down. Slow down, dang!

At least save me some of that bacon over there, man.

Yo, Lise, thank you so much!

- [Lisa] Yeah. - Yeah. - Cause we needed this.

- [Devin] Yeah, we gotta eat cause we got

a rehearsal.

- [Lisa] We?

- Yeah. I have an announcement to make.

Uh oh. Who'd you back into? Did they have insurance?

[Audience laughter]

Dad, I'm serious!

I've been doin' a lot of thinkin', and with my brain power,

and my cousins' talent,

I've decided to drop out of school and be their

manager full-time.

[Audience laughter]

- You don't think that's a good idea, cousin Tony?

I'll a save my opinion for later. Do you

- ...mind if we talk to you outside for a second, son? - Yeah.

[Cup slams] [Devin sighs]

[Tony] Let's go outside. Okay. Okay.

- Boy! Did you start playin' football, - God.

cause you must have a concussion!?

Did you loose your damn mind?

Devin, how many times have we been over this?

You promised. You promised you would finish school.

Okay, but opportunities just don't come

knocking on your door like this, and in my case,

four of them did.

You guys always say it's my life and I can make my own decisions.

You can when you cut ties with my wallet.

[Audience laughter]

Okay, I know you guys think I'm crazy.

But, I really wanna do this, and

all I can hope is that you respect my wishes.

- [Door opens] - I don't...I don't know, Tony.

Maybe it's just...just a phase.

I'm about to punch him in the phase.

[Audience laughter]

[Music fades out]

Okay everybody, welcome to the new

Stallworth tradition where we'll all exchange a single

gift with the person's name you pulled.

Tradition? That means we only get one gift from here

on out? Gary Coleman got more gifts than that

and he was orange.

Hey, we gave you the gift of life.

- Eboni, come help me hand out these gifts.

Hey, what's up, y'all? Y'all gotta start lockin'

your door, man. Anybody could just walk in here.

Now look, I know I'm late but technically, I'm right on time.

Cheryl, I drew your name. Here you go.

- Oh - Uncle Donnie, this is for you.

You ain't got no money. This better be good.

[Audience laughter]

Oaah, yo! I got a gift card.

- A gift card?

What happened to the days when kids were excited

about gettin' a hot wheel track for Christmas.

- Look...cousin Tony, check this out.

I'm grown, grown.

- Superhero pajamas! - You don't like 'em?

I love them! I wanna put 'em on right now.

Ah yeah, Donnie....why don't you just save that for your house.

[Audience laughter]

[Paper crinkling[

[Cheryl gasps]

What the hell? Is that a...gold monkey claw?

Back scratcher, man. I know Cheryl's been single for a while now so

she probably forgot how it feel to get her back scratched.

- That is so...

thoughtful. You know it just so happens that my

great aunt gave me one of these years ago but I

lost it...so this is perfect.

Donnie...get on over here. You're gettin' a Cheryl shake.

[Cheryl yelps] Thank you.

Dad, this is for you.

You didn't draw my name.

I know, but I think since you're such an understanding

head of our household, you deserved it.

Alright. Don't be tryin' to butter me up.

Butter you up? I've made up my mind.

I'm gonna try this management thing.

So there's nothin' I can say to talk you out of it?

Um, do you have a 6 million dollar trust fund that you

you've been hiding away from me?

- Good luck with that manager gig. - Mm.

[Music stings out]

[Instrumental Music]

We're just really happy you guys are here.

This is the first holiday we get to spend with your cousins,

so we wanna make sure you feel welcomed.

Thanks cousin. You mind if we sing a little somethin'

- ...since Christmas. - [Cheryl yelps] Not at all.

- Please. - Yeah, we'd love a song.

- A song is great. - Alright.

Y'all ready? Y'all got it?

Got the note?

[Vocalizing]

One...two...three... [Snapping fingers]

- * We wish you a merry Christmas. - * Hey!

* We wish you a merry Christmas

* We wish you a merry Christmas

* and a Happy New Year

- * Joy to the world, - * Hey, hey hey.

- * the Lord is come. - * Hey, hey, hey.

- * Let earth receive her king. - * Yeah.

* Let every heart

* prepare Him room

* Let heaven and nature sing

* Let heaven and nature sing

* Let eh eh heh eh eh eaven and nature sing

- * Mmm. [Cheering and clapping]

Wow.

- Wow. - Yeah.

Y'all, let me tell you somethin'. If you don't realize right now,

that was amazing.

Naturals.

Not only that. The world needs to hear their voices.

Wow Dev. We appreciate you, bro, but I mean we don't

do it for the money. We do it just because we love to sing.

Yeah, and as gospel artists, you know we do it for the love

- ...of God. - Exactly.

[Inner voice] These kids are sensational. Huh,

I could make millions off of them like Diane Ross

did with the Jackson Five.

- If they don't do it for the money, then what

the hell are they doin' it for? I'm gonna get

paid off these little ninjas.

I'm gonna be like the Black bear recording. Wait...

he Black, ain't he?

Well he light-skinned. He count.

- Devin's right. There could be a future in managin' the Walls group.

I won the lotto once, so I know I can hit it big with these kids.

I just can't let Devin know what I'm thinkin'.

- I can be their stylist.

Yeah, stylists make lots of money

and get tons of free, cute designer clothes.

I'll have them drippin' with style for sure.

- I can see it now. Money, power,

respect!

I'm gonna be hot on these streets.

It's all because I'm a visionary.

Apaco, can I talk to you outside for a second?

- For sure, man.

Darryl, have I showed you the man cave?

- Nah. - It's right over here.

- Really? - Ah eh...ladies,

would you mind stepping into the kitchen with me

for a moment? I have something very interesting

to talk to you about.

Ah yeah, sure.

Hmm.

My man, Apaco.

Can't fool yourself.

Yeah. [Laughs] A, you ever heard of Sam Cooke?

- That's the brotha with the grits, right?

Naw, naw, naw. That's another brotha. I'm sure he likes grits

as well. He like he whole breakfast plate. That's another thing.

But a...you know he was in a group once.

I did not know he was in a group.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know I was born by the river,

but when it come to your career, a change gonna come.

[Audience laughter]

Yo, Tony man, this is sweet, man.

It's nice, isn't it? So listen, um...

how much do you really like

the other members in your group?

A...a lot. They're my brothers and sisters. I think they're pretty cool.

Good point. Good point, but have you ever thought

of how it would feel to have the crowd chanting just your name?

[Whispering] Darryl, Darryl.

Darryl...aaaah.

We love you!

- I am gonna cut right to the chase. - Alright.

Ladies, that...was sensational!

- Well thank you. - Okay, okay. Have you ever heard of a

little group called the Kitty Cat Divas?

Actually, can't say I've ever heard of them.

- Me either. - Oh, well check...

me out. I was the lead

kitty cat, and I helped them claw their way

to the top.

And I can help you. What do you say, huh? Who's in?

I can take you to the top of the world if you're not afraid,

baby. All you gotta do is believe.

Believe that everything that I do and that

I say is for the betterment of us. Can you

dig it, baby?

[Audience laughter]

My name is Apoco, bro.

[Audience laughter]

Say it with me, Michael.

- Michael. - Jackson.

- Jackson, huh? - Eh, it does sound better than just

Marlon Jackson.

- You're on to somethin'. - You see where I'm gettin' at Darryl?

Huh? Ice Cube dropped fo

Now he's makin' all the dough.

- Yeah. Let's do it. - You wit me? Huh?

- Let's do it. - Let's get this money, man.

I want you to picture the group,

Mary Mary. Only envision instead

Raya and Aja. [Gasps]

Rayaja.

Listen, I know what I know.

And Rayaja is takin' this world by

storm, okay?!

- Rayaja. - Ray.

I like that.

[Knocking]

It's quite the mess here.

- Gotta go!

- [Lisa] A can you, can you get--

- Hey Brandi, merry Christmas. - Mm huh mm.

Merry merry and jingle jingle to you too.

I'm sorry that I'm late.

Sorry, but I got you guys some wine.

- Oh. - It's a little cheap.

But it'll get the job done. Trust me, I know. I had a little

couple swigs on the way here.

- Aw, thanks Brandi.

Yes, it's so Christmasy and festive up n here. I mean

I didn't know it was gonna be an ugly party too.

Oh and I see a Brandi, it would suck to be unemployed

at Christmas.

- [Laughs] You right. - Yeah.

Yeah a...where is Mr. Stallworth?

Um actually I don't know. Have you seen your Dad?

- Not for a while.

Where's Uncle Donnie and Cheryl?

- And where are our cousins?

Know what I'm sayin'? That's why you gotta add the peppers.

[Laughs] Hey, what's up, everybody?

Yeah, I was just outside with young Apoco over

here catchin' some a some fresh air.

[Audience laughter]

- [Cheryl sighs] - Oh, um everything okay, Cheryl?

Oh yeah. The ladies and I were just in the kitchen cooking something up.

- Dad, what's goin' on?

Nothin'. Nothin'. I was just showin' your cousin the man cave.

Yeah, and it's actually super sweet too.

Well well well, it would seem that I've gathered you all here.

So now, I have an announcement.

- Mm a, well we do too. - Us too.

- Oh. - But you go first.

- Eh, actually...ladies first. Go ahead.

- Eh well, no no no no. I'm gonna go first because I'm the oldest.

This is what I got to say, I quit!

- And I'm goin' solo. - I quit too.

- I quit too, too. - Wait, wait. I quit first!

- You were already fired. - What the heck is goin' on?

You just realized who's Michael and who is not.

And you act accordingly.

- Mm. - Mm.

Yeah, Michael had a hell of a career.

- [Laughs] - Well here's the thing, cousin.

Just different musical interests, and that's what it is you know.

And it's okay. Everybody's fine.

Wow, you did this, Tony.

- Well don't blame me.

You know, it's probably Donnie.

What?! I didn't, hey look...I was just

talkin' to Apaco, whom I happen

to be managing now.

And telling him that he should just listen

to what's in his best interest.

- Oh yeh yeh yeh yeah. I was doing the same with the girls,

who I will be managing now.

I got dibs on Darryl.

But I manage the group.

When they were a group.

I don't know who's managing who, but I call dibs on bein' the stylist.

Chill, chill...listen.

My cousin Quantrel got his own studio.

And they can go record, and we can all get paid!

[Audience laughter]

- That's not a bad plan.

- [Donnie] That sounds good. [Music stings out]

[Instrumental Music]

Good evening.

[Collectively] Good evening.

Good evening, church and welcome to Mount Ebenezer's

Christmas Extravaganza.

That's right. Mount Ebenezer A&E, amen.

[Collectively] Mm, amen.

Some of you all that should be seein' me

being that we only see you all at

Christmas, Mother's Day, and Easter.

[Audience laughter]

Well we don't come here that often.

Reverend Penny got jealous.

I shall not name any names.

- Name 'em! - [Coughs] Stallworth.

[Audience laughter]

[Clears throat] But you know, we love you.

We love you, and you're always welcome here.

[Audience laughter]

So, without any further ado...

please welcome the Walls family.

[Cheering and clapping]

- Yes!

- Yeah. - Yaas!

- Amen. - [Donnie] That's Apaco right there, baby!

- [Tony] Yeah, yeah.

- * Come they told me. - Mm.

- * Par rum pa pum pum - * Par rum pum paaahm

* Our finest gifts we bring

*Par ra pah pum

- * Par rah pah puh, Ooh! - [Off-key vocalizing]

- * Eh uah . - Ooh!

- Wow, okay.

Wasn't great.

- I'm tellin' ya.

This...this is not even who we are.

- Boy. - Definitely not who you are.

[Audience laughter]

Really? You're the worst one.

- You didn't have to go there.

Can we take a moment to regroup real quick?

- Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. - Thanks.

Ah, we're gonna pump the breaks for a moment

on the par rum pa pum pum.

[Collectively] Amen!

I wanna take a little time just to acknowledge

we all, we all need a little time to

redo some things. Regroup, amen.

- That's the word. - Amen! - Yes.

- Lord. - It's good to see you all here, you know.

I haven't seen you all at church in a while.

- Yes. - I know you all been to those dispensaries.

- Ain't been here. - [Loud laughter]

You ain't been here.

- Mm.

That's it. If we're not gonna do this together,

then we don't need to do it at all,

because this ain't it.

* A little time to a reexamine

- [Crowd] Mm hm. - ...the real meaning

- Come on now. - * ...of the season.

- Yes, pastor!

- * We wanna - [Audience] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. A we got it from here.

- Yeah, thank you.

- [Audience laughter] [Pastor sighs] Whew!

- Let's do it. - Get ready.

Alright, y'all. So can we apologize to you guys real quick.

We wanna do somethin' a little different um if we can.

Be us, ourselves. Can we do that?

- [Crowd] Yes! - We just wanna...

clear our minds, and remember the music

for the season.

For unto us a child is born.

It was a silent night. It was a holy night.

It was.

- I got you.

[Keyboard plays]

[Exhales]

* Silent night

- Come on.

[Together] * Holy night

* All is come

* All is bright

* Round young virgin

* mother and child

- * woa oh oah - * Holy infant so

* tender and mild

* Sleep in heavenly

* peace

* sleep in heavenly

* peace

- Oooh.

Anybody hungry? We got a ton of leftovers.

- Yeah! Ooh, yeah! - [Tony] Yes, please. - Please.

Oh hey Devin, a listen, let me talk to you for a second.

Look, I just wanna apologize.

I know you had big plans with your cousins and

I'm sorry that my greed got in the way.

Don't worry about it, pops.

One thing you always taught me was don't let anyone

else's actions cloud my judgment.

I know that's right.

- [Devin] Everybody, I got an announcement.

- [Tony] Oh yeah, what's that? - My friend's...

dad works for a major record label, and I can get y'all an audition.

The one thing is, he's not really interested in gospel.

- Mm. - Uhm.

A we appreciate that, man, but we also have an announcement.

Yeah, we've decided that

we're not gonna break up.

- Mm. - However, gospel music...

is our calling.

- So-- - That's right. And that's what we're gonna continue to sing

as a family unit.

- Yep. - I can respect that.

Well, um Mom and Dad, I guess I'm gonna go ahead and get

that degree for y'all.

- Hm. - Hey listen, don't do it for us, son.

Do it for yourself.

[Phone vibrates]

- Mm...hey everybody. - Please, no more announcements, son.

But Dad, this is a good one.

While the cousins were singin', I recorded it, and I posted it to

Funstagram right before we left church and

the video's already gone viral.

- Really? - Wow. - [Laughter] Look at that.

- Hello?

Hey, sister Johnson.

Yeah um we're--

well okay.

Yeah, I will let them know.

Okay, thank you. Merry Christmas.

Okay, so that was sister Johnson.

And she said that Warren Campbell

saw the video Devin posted, and he wants to produce

the Walls neo gospel album!

- What?! - Yes!

- That's what I'm talkin' bout.

- Yes. - Alright, let's go.

Apparently, y'all are just the type of group

he's been lookin' for. He wants to produce the album right away.

- Oh, wow. - Let's do it.

Oh we gotta celebrate. We gotta celebrate on behalf of the

Walls big break and

- to family, which is the best gift anybody could ask for. - Yeah.

- Ah? - Yeah, I mean

I could think of a couple gifts we could ask for.

[Audience laughter]

Ah, I heard that, boy.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

[Music stings out]

[Instrumental Music]

Was up, girl? You in here tryin' to steal sweet potato pies?

Busted. I do believe this was the

best sweet potato pie I have ever tasted.

I don't know why I have been defending pumpkin

pie all these years.

Well when you know better, you do better.

Love that. Did you come up with that?

[Audience laughter]

- Hm. - Ah yeah, well I'm gonna get some egg nog.

You want some?

No, thank you, but enjoy your nog and your evening.

Merry Christmas, Donnie.

Merry Christmas, Cheryl.

Uhp, hey eh, you--

leh eh--

- Hey Cheryl, you forgot your... - Mm.

- purse. - Oh my god, thank you, Donnie.

- Yeah. - And thank you so much for the back scratcher. It's...

- Don't worry about it. - ...very sentimental to me.

- think you forgot something. - [Donnie laughs]

Deh...ah hah.

[Moaning]

[Audience laughter]

Nope.

[Audience laughter]

[Chuckles]

That was hot. [Music stings out]