Original subtitles

[Instrumental Music]

That doesn't make any sense.

Alright, if that's the case, then how come the police never pulled him over?

Yeah.

Oh, okay, I'll talk to you later.

Police? What's happening baby, everything okay?

That was Donnie's dumb ass.

He was tryin' to tell me that Scooby Doo was Snoop Dog's older brother.

And, and the van that they drove around in was stolen.

Did you ever notice that

Fred and Daphne were always together when they were solving mysteries?

- What was wrong with Velma? - Hmm.

So, so, so neither you nor Donnie has a problem

with a talkin' dog or his equally speaking cousin?

You know, I don't even know why I'm talkin' about this.

What are you lookin' at online, babe?

Just some furniture that I know you're gonna tell me not to buy because we don't need it.

Oh, you know what?

You wrong about that.

I think that the living room could use a little sprucing up.

And we've been doing well this quarter at the office, so uh,

let's live a little.

Wait so, you're saying I should start looking to buy?

I say you have the green light to do a little bit.

Not a lot of bit, just a little bit.

Whatever makes you happy.

- Thank you, baby! - Mm-hmm.

Oh my goodness, this is just in time.

This'll be the last dinner party we have with old furniture.

Oh God, don't tell me you forgot

about the dinner party we're hosting tonight.

You mean the dinner party where I buy up all the food

and a bunch of hungry-ass freeloaders show up to eat it up?

Why would I wanna remember that?

This is gonna be fun, baby.

Rodney's coming with his ex-wife, Cheryl's gonna be there, and

Vivian and Donnie, plus my sisters,

they're out of town, so that's a highlight for you.

- Aww, they're not gonna be here? Aww, that sucks. - Mm-hmm.

I was looking forward to seeing Scooby and Scrappy Doo in person.

[Theme Music] * Woke up and my wife said to me

* The bill collectors want their fees

* Kids keep talkin' back to me

* Family Time

* Family Time, Family Time, Family Time

[Instrumental Music]

Now where is Brandy with my lunch?

She better not have taken another one of those

"Uh, sorry Mr. Stallworth, but there was a

sale, so I had to go shopping," break.

[Audience Laughter]

Absolutely not, ma'am. I will not allow you

to walk in here lookin' that damn fine.

You need to walk out, come back in

so we can appreciate you a second time.

Boy. [Chuckles]

That is not necessary ma'am, I'm sorry.

Donnie is just leaving.

- Ma'am? - Oh!

That's not a problem, Tony.

- Raquel? - Uh-huh.

Raquel Madison!

And here it is, I thought that I was unforgettable.

Girl, come on over here!

Knock it of! Look at you, lookin' good!

- Thank you. - Girl, what, what are you doin' here?

Well uh, I'm doing some work on my house,

and when I came across your site, I figured I had to come down here and at least

try to hire you in person.

Well thank you, thank you. What type of work are you looking to get done?

- Uh, my bathroom. - All right.

Well I'd have to look at it

- before I give you a rough estimate, but, - Okay.

- it's definitely something we can work out. - Okay.

Raquel "The Belle".

More like Raquel "Fine as Hell." Introduce us. [Audience Laughs]

Raquel, this is my best friend, Donnie.

- hey, how you doin'? - Hi.

Donnie, this is somebody I haven't seen in a very, very long time.

Uh, a very long time is right.

- I see the ring, though. - Mm-hmm.

Somebody finally locked you down, huh?

Oh, hella locked him down, you know?

- Gave him two kids and everything. - Oh.

Yeah, as he said, I'm Donnie

kidless, and I am single as an auntie with a missing side tooth.

Oh, well um...

congratulations, Tony.

Thank you, thank you. She is amazing and I am blessed.

I, I don't see a ring on your finger, though.

Ah, yes, that's because it's been removed.

I'm going through a divorce.

Oh, going through a divorce.

Which means that you are single. Well, look,

I'ma go ahead get up outa here man, I gotta go.

But uh, such a pleasure to meet you Raquel...

- Maddison, right? - That'd be me.

- All right. - Bye, Donnie.

All right there, boy. [Audience Laughs]

Raquel, Raquel.

Girl, it's been a month of Sundays.

[Instrumental Music]

- Hey Lisa, what's up? - Hello!

The comfort that you both have

walking in my house without knocking, is up.

In fact, it's at an all time high.

Lisa. How many criminals have to literally run through your backyard

before you guys lock the back door?

Okay, I don't have time to argue with you, can you just grab something,

- help me setup, please? - Oh.

Lisa, where is your help?

Oh, the kids are at friends' houses,

Tony's upstairs, and my sisters are at a hair show.

Oh, I'm glad we got here when we did,

they're gonna miss a great time.

Ooh, you know what they're also gonna miss?

The old living room, because I just got the green light

to redecorate a few things!

Oh, it's about time, Lisa!

I was starting to really think that you guys had fallen on hard times.

You know, based on the furniture.

No, we're fine. I just want a change of pace.

Well I think it's a brilliant idea, and yes, I will help you redecorate.

Yeah, me too! I think it could be fun.

Your house would look great

with a Spanish-Mediterranean decor.

[Stammering] I... love Spanish-Mediterranean.

Men, you know,

but I'm thinking more of a

French Provincial. You know.

And when I say "we're thinking," I'm really thinking Lisa and I.

You know, no offense, Viv.

No, no, no, no, no. That's way too fancy for this place.

I could add a unique Asian flair-

- Oh! - [Lisa] Excuse me-

Yeah, I disagree with that.

Okay, how 'bout you both just come up with design mock-ups

and then I can choose who will help me decorate based on which one I like the most.

[Both] Agreed.

Oh! I have an idea.

Let's go look at furniture in Tijuana tomorrow.

It's just a hop and a skip away,

- and it works well with any budget. - Oh.

Oh, that actually sounds really fun,

but it'd have to be tomorrow morning,

because I have a meeting with Ebony's counselor

- tomorrow afternoon. - Oh, okay. Cool.

Then it's settled. We'll go in the morning.

No, no, no. Shucks,

I can't do it tomorrow morning ladies, I've got a meeting, so...

- Aww, that's too bad. - Yeah, yeah.

Guess we'll just have to made due without you.

Oh! [Doorbell Rings]

Mm.

Grab something, Cheryl.

- Oh! - Ha ha, Tony!

- My man. - Come on in, baby girl.

Hey baby, Rodney's here!

- Yessir, go on and take that, little something for you. - Appreciate it.

That's how we do it, ha ha, yeah!

- Mrs. Stallworth, how you doin'? - Hey.

You ain't gonna introduce nobody?

Can't you give a man a chance to say hi

- to the people, the Stallworths and what not? - Okay.

- Can I do that? - Do that already!

Anyway everybody, this is uh,

- this Sabrina, this my- - This your wife.

- His wife, hi. - Ex-wife Sabrina.

Ex-wife.

- Ex? - You signed the paper, you signed the paper.

No. I didn't sign no papers.

- You signed them papers. - If some papers signed,

- you forged my signature. - You signed the damn papers.

I didn't sign nothin'! [Cheryl Clears Her Throat]

Cheryl.

Rodney. I was planning on being civil.

- Yes. Great to see you look- - Oh, well, hi civil.

[Audience Laughs]

Hey, what's up man? Tryin' to close your boy out.

Hey everybody, I brought a date. Hope that's cool.

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

Raquel?

Oh, you two know each other?

Huh? Eh, uh, yes, yes. She's one of my uh, clients.

- [Lisa] Hmm. - And my date.

Oh. Aren't you gonna introduce us?

Yes, introduce us.

So rude.

[Donnie Chuckles] Close your mouth. Uh, well, ladies and gentlemen,

This is Raquel, the most gorgeous woman in the room.

[Sabrina Clearing Throat] [Audience Laughs]

Oh no, she got you, baby.

Y'all got strep throat or something like that?

- Anyway, this is, uh, Tony's wife, Lisa. - Hi.

- This is for you. - Thank you.

Mm, nice. It's classy.

We, that's from us. That's form both of us.

Uh, also, this is Cheryl, their nosy-ass neighbor.

[No Audible Dialogue]

And uh, that's Rodney.

[Chuckles] My man.

Oh, so you don't see me?

Ma'am, I've never seen you before in my life, I wouldn't know how to introduce you.

- Baby, you can't- - Rodney's wife.

Ex-wife!

Uh, yeah, anyway, and uh, that is Vivian,

uh, she's married to Tony's brother, we haven't seen in a very long time.

He's a pharmaceutical salesman, he's away on business.

Yeah, sure he is.

Kind of like El Chapo. [Audience Laughs]

Okay, it's really nice to meet everyone.

Uh, would you mind if I used your restroom?

Oh, just go down the hall, it's down there to the left.

Actually, uh, this one's dirty.

Let me show you to the one, uh, in the man cave.

- It's fine. - No, no, no, no, no.

This way, in the man cave. [Chuckles]

Tell you, you, you gonna like this one. It's real, it's real nice.

[Audience Laughs]

[No Audible Dialogue]

Ooh...

This is a nice kitchen.

Yeah, yeah, it's adorable, I won the lottery.

So listen, did you tell him?

- Tell him what? - About us.

What about us?

[Scoffs] That we used to be a thing.

A harmless high school fling?

[High Pitched] That all it was to you?

[Clears Throat] That, that's how you feel?

A lil', a little fling? [Chuckles] Okay look, I, I disagree.

- Disagree with what, Ton'? - Huh?

Uh, that um, she should get um, crown molding in, in her bathroom.

Man, I hate mold too, especially on my cheese.

Yes, so, you two need to chat. Now.

Can you please point me in the right direction to where the bathroom is?

Right down this way.

- Thank you. Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Alright Donnie, I...

I gotta tell you, I, I wasn't completely honest with you earlier.

About what?

Basically, you broke the bro code.

I thought breaking the bro code is when one of your friends dates one of your ex's.

No! When? [Audience Laughs]

Back in high school. We used to be a thing.

You two were a "thing,"

or you were a "thang"? [Audience Laughs]

Depends on who you ask. But basically, you can't date her.

Uh, hold on, hold on there, hold tight. [Chuckles]

We, we definitely not done damn talkin'.

Uh, I did not break the bro code.

Had you told me before I hollered at her, I wouldn't have hollered at her.

But since you did not, you broke the bro code.

I broke- how did I break the bro code?

Well if you carry the one and you add the two,

damn it, you know how the bro code work.

Look Donnie, you can't date her, because you dating her is gonna mess with my business.

No, you don't want me to date her because you two were a "thang".

What "thang" are you two talking about?

Not a damn thang.

- Nice dress. - Oh, thank you.

Uh, so what you think about Donnie's new girlfriend? You like her?

Not anymore.

I mean not, real... let's just get back out to our guests.

[Instrumental Music]

Lisa, why is the toothpaste cap off of the toothpaste?

How many times I gotta tell you, when you done with the toothpaste,

put a cap back on! It ain't hard!

I am sorry tony, okay? I did not realize I left the cap off the toothpaste.

I will be more mindful in the future.

Alright?

So baby, I was looking at these

- designs and styles- - You know what, and while we on the subject,

why come I can't find no right socks in the sock drawer?

Ain't nothin' but left socks!

What am I gonna do with a bunch of felt socks?

Put on some left shoes and walk in a circle?

- Come on, now! - Hey, hey!

Is it that time of the month? [Audience Laughs]

Very funny, Lisa.

Baby, what is going on? Talk to me.

[Sighs] It's silly.

It can't be any sillier than you whining about left socks.

[Audience Laughs]

Okay, promise you won't get mad.

That depends on what it is.

But if you tell me you have a family on the other side of town

or that you can't understand where Ayesha Curry was coming from,

I'm gonna be mad.

Okay. First of all,

I completely understand why Ayesha Curry is coming from.

And second, no family on the other side of town.

They in Cleveland.

[Chuckles] Oh! Kidding! I'm kidding.

Okay.

You remember that girl that Donnie brought over, my client, Raquel?

Yeah, what about her?

[Tony Sighs]

Donnie broke the bro code! [Audience Laughs]

The bro code? Isn't that when your homie dates one of your ex's, or something like that?

Yeah. You remember, um...

back in High School when we, we broke up

for that little brief little period?

Well right in that brief little period, me and Raquel dated.

Hmm?

Raquel and I, da-dated.

And I'm just now finding out about this?

Well it was just a, a tiny little harmless high school thing.

Was it a "thing," or was it a "thang?"

It doesn't matter, okay? Because I love you.

Oh. Okay.

So I, now I see why you were acting all weird.

Oh good, so we're here.

No, no, no, no, that depends, Tony.

Are you still feelin' her?

Of course not. Okay? She is my client.

And I know Donnie.

And Donnie's gonna wind up messin' up my money.

Our money.

Okay, listen, baby... [Chuckles]

There is no woman walking this planet that could ever compete with you.

There is no woman breathing

that takes my breath away the way you do without even trying.

Keep goin'.

- Your body- - No, fool!

I'm talkin' about with the little story, okay?

You've bought yourself some brownie points.

Alright. I just...

I feel disrespected that Donnie would date somebody that I used to date.

I can understand that.

You can? [Audience Laughs]

Yeah, you know, you remember when Lori dated one of my ex's?

You know, I mean, even though Lori is my sister and Donnie's just your friend, I mean, I

I know how it feels.

- And that's why I love you, you are the best. - I know.

So, you know, just talk to Donnie. Let him know how you feel.

Aight, aight, I'l consider it.

[Instrumental Music]

Thank you so much for taking me to Mexico, Vivian.

There were so many good pieces of furniture.

I'm surprised we were able to narrow it down and make a choice.

oh, no problem Lisa, and thank you for driving.

My license is still being held by the Federales.

Long story.

Oh, yeah, no problem, no problem.

I do kind of feel bad

that we weren't able to take Cheryl and that we made decisions without her.

Well I'm sue she'll understand, especially when she sees that couch.

Oh, my [Gasps].

Oh! I give you: Paris in Springtime!

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

I can tell by your faces

you love it. Right? It's breathtaking.

Cheryl, first of all, how did you even get in my house?

We literally talked to you about locking your door earlier, Lisa.

I mean, I came in through the back and unlocked it

so the movers could come in through the front.

So easy. I think the words you're looking for are "thank" and "you".

Hmm. Well "you" is definitely the second word I'm thinking.

"Thank" isn't the first.

[Audience Laughing]

Okay.

Where did all this stuff come from, Cheryl?

[Scoffs] It came from Paris.

Paris, France?

No, Paris Hilton.

She had an estate sale, and since I have an event company, I just bought everything.

You know, staging purposes.

You jumped the gun. I thought we were supposed to be doing this together.

I thought we were as well.

Until you two went to Tijuana without me.

Oh, about that,

we kind of made some choices and we picked out a few pieces.

- How could you? This- - well, how could you?

[Shouting Over Each Other]

[Lisa] Stop! Stop!

Thank you for stoping it, Lisa.

- Yes, thank you. - I was having flashbacks to my

prison days, and I was about to Shawshank a Cheryl!

Okay... [Audience Laughs]

we're sorry, I did not mean to exclude you.

- Really didn't. - Well, you did, so...

Well, speaking of excluding...

we have furniture being delivered soon, so all this

tacky clown furniture needs to go.

There's something else tacky and clown-like that should go as well!

- Oh. Yeah, right there! - That would be you.

No, it's you. It's you, Cheryl.

[Shouting Over Each Other]

[Instrumental Music]

Speakin' of uneven weave, guess who I ran into, dawg?

Who?

- Lopside Lester. - What?

- Old boy used to sell a DVD... - Yes.

'til everything went digital, of course.

- That's right, that's right dawg, how he doin'? - Yeah man, he doin' good.

- You know, he just got married. - What?

Yeah, he got married to uh, oh, what's that girl name,

"Big-leg-little-leg Linda."

- "Big-small-leg Linda?" - They call her Ilene. [Laughing]

- Alright. - She used to date Crooked-eye Carl.

Poor man, they broke up,

now she with his best friend, No-Neck Norm.

Mm-mm-mm.

Does the bro code even exist anymore?

That's what I say.

I don't think the bro code ever existed.

I think it was created by insecure men that wasn't ready to let go.

I, I totally disagree, brother.

Okay? I think you should never date your friend's ex no matter how long it's been.

Well, now, hold on Ton' man, I hear what you're sayin', nut,

what if, what if the, the male or the female has moved on

and is in another relationship?

No, now hold on, now I gotta step in, now.

No man or woman that's in a relationship

should care whether they ex date somebody else.

Okay, that's enough talkin' out of you.

[Audience Laughs]

Speakin' of no bro code.

Aw, my man, Donnie Loco! Hey, dawg.

You gotta get in on this conversation, first of all.

Now Donnie,

would you be comfortable

with your friend datin' yo ex?

Nah, nah, nah, don't ask him, this is a closed conversation.

Why would I care? Since it's my ex from high school?

And I got a whole-ass wife,

and the friend didn't have that information when he started datin' her.

Okay, what if this friend's business was involved?

Huh, Rodney, huh? What you think about that?

Who should ask Donnie what I just said?

I'm not repeatin' all that. Plus he can hear, you can hear him, right?

Yeah I can hear him perfectly. As a matter of fact I think that that friend

should put a quarter in his ass cause he played himself!

Oh it's like that, that's that's what we're gonna go with?

- ...You played yourself? - I mean that's what I'm sayin'. You played yourself.

- Don't make me take this smock off.

- Don't make me take this smock off. - Well take it off!

- [Donnie and Tony yammering] - Fellas, fellas...man, what's goin' on here, man?

You just mad because I'm number one on her call sheet and you ain't even on the list.

- Okay. - [Audience laughter]

Okay, I'm the one that's tryin' to get my own piece of happiness outside of bein'

your little sidekick, and that's a problem for you because you're the one

with an amazing family, a beautiful wife,

but me doin' somethin' on my own is just beef for you.

Man, ain't no problem. Ain't nobody worried about that little girl, man. I'm

worried about you datin' a client and messin' up my business.

Aaah!

Yuuh.

Aah.

- Heh...huh? - So...so this ain't a hypothetical situation?

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

Ooh...

What is this?

Well, on this side is the epitome of style and class, and I

- ...know you love it cause we picked it out together. - Mm hm.

And on that side is the true definition of a hot mess.

[Audience laughter]

That's so interesting cause I didn't realize struggle furniture was a thing.

You know for your information, this struggle furniture

Lisa and I picked out together, m'kay?

And you think that makes it better? Lisa doesn't have any taste.

That's why she asked me to help, okay.

Okay, she needed help.

- I let her have her input. - [Lisa] Okay.

- Okay? - [Cheryl sighs] - Vivian, Cheryl, this is...

not what I wanted.

It's just too much. I wanted something simple.

I wanted something small but you guys have gone beyond and you've

made it about you.

Well with all due respect Lisa, we were just trying to help.

Oh yeah... yourselves.

Mm. I would love to help that side of the room into the trash heap it belongs in

anytime.

Seriously. Yeah, I did want help. I wanted some advice.

Not for everything to be done for me. Cut it out.

I thought it would be fun to do this with you guys but clearly

I mean I was very very wrong. You've shown me.

Oh no, Lisa. I wouldn't say that. I mean this is still

a huge step above where your living room used to be.

- Okay...you know what, I would rather just... - [Vivian] Okay.

keep my own furniture as opposed to being

- ...insulted by the tan and... - Oh no no no. Don't don't don't.

the tan-less.

[Vivian] Oh.

[Audience laughter]

I'm sorry, Lisa. I feel like we did go a little bridezilla on this redecoration didn't we?

[Audience laughter]

- [Lisa] - I'm...I'm sorry too, Lisa.

I mean decorating should be fun.

- Always. It's gotta be fun. - [Lisa] Yeah. Yes.. - [Cheryl] It should be! Right?

- And who cares is you have terrible taste? You know... - [Vivian] Yeah.

- ...thankfully it may be it'll be...it's beautiful. - [Vivian sighs]

- I love it! It's so pretty. - [Cheryl] It doesn't matter.

- [Lisa] Oh okay, so we're good. - Yeah, let's just hug it.

- [Lisa] Oh so we're good. - [Cheryl] Yes, we're good.

- [Lisa] We're good. - [Vivian] Yeah!

- [Lisa] Good...Yes? - [Cheryl] Lisa, we're better... - [Vivian] Yeah.

than good cause I hate conflict anyway.

- [Cheryl] You know? - I do too.

But I do like money, Lisa.

So I'm gonna leave my invoice for you, you know just for the furniture and

my efforts,

but don't worry. You have plenty of time to pay it.

- [Lisa] Yeah. - I'll give you three days. Ciao!

Wait, we're gettin' paid for this?

[Music sting]

[Instrumental Music]

Mm, see...now that's what I'm talkin' about, Scooby. See, now you loyal.

I bet if Fred and Daphne broke up, you wouldn't be tryin' to kick it with Daphne.

[Audience laughter]

[Tony clears throat]

What up, Tone?

Chillin'.

[In unison] My bad, damn!

Wait, what?

Look, I shouldn't a dated your ex, man. And I was wrong.

Why didn't you tell me you had a problem with me datin' her?

I literally said I had a problem with you datin' her from the beginning.

Was I here for that?

[Audience laughter]

Look, I went against bro code and...

I was wrong. I understand if you want to put me on probation.

[Audience laughter]

It's all good, man. I I'm, I'm happy with the life and the wife I chose.

Or should I say, the wife and the life that chose me.

I feel that.

But look...it's over with me and baby girl, man.

What? What happened?

She just was tryin' to build a new husband, you know?

She wanted me to open car doors,

pay half the rent, just a whole bunch a wild stuff.

- Plus she had a long toes. - Ooh.

I hate long toes.

Every toe was a big toe.

Yeah, that's disgusting.

Well, I guess I lost another client then.

Nah, not at all, man. Look, I made sure that when she and I parted ways

that none of that would affect the business that you had with her at all.

I appreciate it, man.

Speakin' of appreciatin', man, um...

mmm can I a borrow a hundred dollars?

For what?

Well I got a date with Rodney's ex.

[Audience laughter] Yeah...

it's nothin' like what you and I had goin' on,

- ...cause you know Rodney's like an uncle. - Mm.

So it's like uncle code as opposed to bro code.

Ah... [Audience laughter]

but, but you gon, you gonna let me borrow it though, right?

You, you goin' to get the money?

Alright, then, boi!

[Instrumental Music]