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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:04,372 [Instrumental Music] 2 00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:05,539 Hey Lisa, What's goin' on? 3 00:00:05,573 --> 00:00:08,409 A just looking at Ebony's college acceptance letters. 4 00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:11,412 Tryin' to decide on the perfect school for her. 5 00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,747 Alright, have you narrowed it down to any top choices? 6 00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:17,051 I personally think local schools, like Baybrook University and 7 00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:19,087 Valley Hill are really great choices. 8 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,590 - Oh. - But Wexley. Wexley's probably more her speed. 9 00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:24,225 Oh, the one that's right up the street? 10 00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:25,593 Yeah, I mean it's walking distance. 11 00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:28,429 So I'll be able to take her bagged lunchies and 12 00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:30,398 and give her an extra set of clothes each week, 13 00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:33,501 and also wash her favorite little blankie. 14 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:34,902 [Audience laughter] 15 00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:37,638 She's goin' off to college, not preschool. 16 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:41,809 Besides, didn't she express that she wants to go to an out of state college? 17 00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:46,614 Maybe once or twice, but since when did we start carrying about Ebony's opinion? 18 00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:48,849 Please, now let the girl decide on her own. 19 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:51,685 Decisions like this are very important in life. 20 00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,454 You think if we decided not to have kids early, 21 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,589 I would have given up on my dream to become a rapper? 22 00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:58,126 L Tone Loco was about to blow! 23 00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:01,028 You had a better chance of winning the lottery. 24 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,196 [Audience laughter] 25 00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:03,631 I'm just sayin'. 26 00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:06,134 Whatever school Ebony decides to go, we need to be there for her. 27 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:07,601 Or with her! 28 00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:10,604 I read about this one program at Baybrook that allows Moms to go to the 29 00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:12,140 dorms for a week. 30 00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:15,276 You know just in case the daughters get homesick. 31 00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:16,944 I really think I might do that. 32 00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:18,412 We ain't white. 33 00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:21,982 I know Tony. It's just hard to accept that our little 34 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:24,352 girl is growin' up so fast. 35 00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:28,055 You know and the fact that she might be miles and miles away. I mean it just hasn't clicked. 36 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,057 Look, she'll never be too far. 37 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:33,627 She'll always be either a FaceTime call or a plane ride away. 38 00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:35,729 Or you know what? It'll be Thanksgiving. She'll be 39 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:38,699 buried in her cellphone gettin' on our nerves again. 40 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,001 I guess you're right, Tony. 41 00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:43,504 I still think Wexley is the best choice. 42 00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,573 I'm not sayin' I'm gonna be on campus, 43 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,575 but if she needs me I will... 44 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:48,909 [Audience laughter] 45 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,878 I'll be right here. 46 00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:54,515 And if she decides to go somewhere else, I'll be just as okay with it. 47 00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:55,883 Good to hear. 48 00:01:56,717 --> 00:02:00,321 - So, the mother/daughter dorm program. - Out of the question! 49 00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:01,222 [Theme music] 50 00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:03,224 * Woke up and my wife said to me * 51 00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:05,693 * The bill collectors want their fees * 52 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,928 * The kids keep talkin' back to me * 53 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,530 * Family Time 54 00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:11,932 * Family Time. Family Time 55 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,902 * Family Time. Waa aah woa oah oah oah yeah * 56 00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:18,206 [Instrumental Music] 57 00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,441 [Gasps] Ooh, girl. 58 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,744 Davonte just posted a sneak peak of what he's wearing to prom. 59 00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:27,515 - Oop. - He is looking fine. Ooh! 60 00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:30,184 You know light skins in suede suits are my weakness. 61 00:02:30,218 --> 00:02:33,221 Girl I know, and that's exactly why I'm inviting him to my 62 00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:34,422 pre-prom party. 63 00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:37,291 Wait...you're having one here? 64 00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:39,693 Dang, you're lucky. My parents won't let me. 65 00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:43,631 Yeah, my parents weren't feeling it either until I told them I was running for prom queen. 66 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,933 Plus I'm hoping it'll help me get some votes. 67 00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:47,401 Prom queen? 68 00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:52,206 [Scoffs] Wait, since when do you care about the bougie glitz and glam of a prom queen? 69 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:55,276 I thought you were just fine with bein' a prom peasant like the rest of us. 70 00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:58,746 I mean I was a first but I feel like it'll be a 71 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:02,616 good opportunity to make a name for myself before we graduate. 72 00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:05,085 Oh girl, you don't want that. 73 00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:08,922 The girls who win prom queen never make names for themselves. 74 00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,791 People make names for them. 75 00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:12,626 What do you mean? 76 00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:15,563 Well last year, Tight Weave Theresa won. The year before that 77 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:18,632 curly haired Corine won, and then the year before that 78 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,768 beach body Becky won. 79 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:23,304 You don't want to be easy breezy Ebony. 80 00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:28,609 Your reputation goes down as soon as you win that crown. 81 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:31,612 I don't know. Sounds like people are just jealous to me. 82 00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:34,615 Besides, all of those girls were just bullies who resorted to 83 00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:37,150 petty tactics in order to win. 84 00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:38,952 You do have a point there. 85 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:41,822 I heard that Tight Weaved Theresa said that she would take everyone's man if they didn't 86 00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:42,990 vote for her. 87 00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:46,327 Wow, well that definitely won't be me. Besides, 88 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:49,863 I'm doin' it for fun. If I win, I win. If I loose, I loose. 89 00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:54,067 Well, when you say it like that, it doesn't sound so bad. 90 00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:57,971 Alright, I'll help you with your campaign and what not. 91 00:03:58,005 --> 00:04:01,108 See, I knew my bestie would. And if I do win, 92 00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:03,143 I'll be sure to mention you in my speech. 93 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:07,881 Forget a speech. If you win, I need that first dance with Davonte. 94 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,983 Everyone knows he's gonna be prom king. 95 00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:11,952 Ha! Ooh, 96 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:15,122 I should start looking for a suede dress to match my man's. 97 00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:17,124 [Audience laughter] 98 00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:21,895 [Instrumental Music] 99 00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:25,198 [Audience laughter] 100 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,709 Devin, what you doin' in my room? 101 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:39,179 Ah I was just lookin' for some ointment 102 00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:41,148 for a bruise I got playin' basketball. 103 00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:43,183 You don't even play basketball, 104 00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:47,054 or watch it. You tried out 5 times and ended up the team mascot. 105 00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:48,989 Yes I do play basketball. 106 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:51,892 Last week I messed around and got a triple double. 107 00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:55,863 Boy, the only triple doubles you order come with pickles and side of mammal fries. 108 00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,197 What's your favorite team? 109 00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,032 Ah...hah, 110 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:01,369 the Nebraska ah... 111 00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:03,036 The Timberwizards. 112 00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:04,905 I rest my case. 113 00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:07,408 Now Devin, tell me how you really hurt yourself? 114 00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,843 I'm not buyin' this basketball story. 115 00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:12,212 Did I say basketball? I meant boxing. 116 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:16,183 You know me and Ross was sparrin' in his backyard, and he threw a haymaker 117 00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:18,285 left a nasty bruise on my arm. 118 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,221 - Oah, did you hurt yourself? Let me just, let me see. - Aah! 119 00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:23,190 I put some frozen peas on it. 120 00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:26,193 You know, wrapped some gauze. It doesn't even hurt that bad. 121 00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:30,197 - Huh, okay that's fine. Let me just take a look at the bruise. - Ow! 122 00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:31,999 I thought you said it didn't hurt, Devin. 123 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,801 [Scoffs] It doesn't. 124 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:37,538 I was sayin', "Ow," you know, like how Bardi C does every 10 seconds? 125 00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:40,408 Oooow! [Audience laughter] 126 00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:41,809 Don't lie to me. 127 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:45,413 Okay well if I show you, you promise you won't get mad? 128 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,448 I promise. 129 00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,483 [Sighs] 130 00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,390 Oh my! What duh what? 131 00:05:56,424 --> 00:05:59,292 - Hell to the no! - You said you weren't gonna get mad. 132 00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:02,430 Ah I'm not bad. I am freakin' furious! 133 00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:04,398 A tattoo, Devin? 134 00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:05,766 An infected one at that. 135 00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:07,501 I know, Mom. I'm sorry. 136 00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:10,303 But it won't look as bad in a couple a days. It'll heal. 137 00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:14,975 Heal into what? Because right now it looks like a bootleg fraternity brand. 138 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,276 [Audience laughter] 139 00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:18,278 Where'd you even get this done? 140 00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:21,582 In Ross's garage. His uncle Tyrone offered to do it. 141 00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:24,618 And I let him since he used to be a professional tattoo artist. 142 00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:26,620 Well...in jail. 143 00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:27,621 What? 144 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:29,857 Devin, you got to get this removed. 145 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,659 You better call Tyrone. 146 00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:32,660 Call him! 147 00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:34,261 But you can't use my phone though. 148 00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:36,263 I can't call him either way. 149 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:39,467 - He only uses burner phones. - Oh, boy. Wow. 150 00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,001 Unbelievable, Devin. 151 00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:43,604 This is really unbelievable. Wait till I tell your father. 152 00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,806 Oh Mom, please don't tell him. He'll kill me. 153 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,609 Not if that cheap-ass tattoo doesn't do it first. 154 00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:49,810 [Audience laughter] 155 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:53,647 Well...I'll tell him. But it has to be on my own time like 156 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:57,885 maybe when I get married, have a few children, give him some grand-babies. 157 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,186 [Audience laughter] 158 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,288 Boy, what is that supposed to even be anyway? 159 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:04,658 My initials. DS for Devin Stallworth. 160 00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:07,461 - More like dumb-- - Mom! 161 00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:10,363 [Instrumental Music] 162 00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:12,299 Wow, this looks so amazing. 163 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:15,368 Oh, only the best for my baby girl. You know that. 164 00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:17,871 Prom queen is yours for the takin', Ebony. 165 00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:20,240 [Door opens] 166 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,042 Hello, royal family. 167 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:24,478 [Audience laughter] 168 00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:26,980 Hm, the princess... 169 00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:28,381 has arrived. 170 00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:29,883 Hey there, Sleepin' Ugly. 171 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,519 [Audience laughter] 172 00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:34,555 You can refer to me as the duchess of success, 173 00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,389 thank you very much. 174 00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:39,259 You look more like the duchess of Pepto-Bismol. 175 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,094 You're welcome. 176 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:44,765 Lori, why are you late? You were supposed to help us with Ebony's campaign. 177 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:49,102 Oh darling...a queen is never late. 178 00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:53,607 She simply knows that everyone else.... 179 00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:55,375 is early. 180 00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,277 Wow, nice Tiara, Aunt Lori. 181 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,613 Did you win a prom queen back in high school? 182 00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:01,749 Yeah back in the day I did. 183 00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:04,084 Yeah, more like the Stone Ages. 184 00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,453 Look, nobody asked you, Nia Wrong. 185 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,623 You're just mad because when you ran 186 00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:12,693 - ...against a...Jeronica Williams, - Ugh. 187 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,461 - Jeronica Williams!, - Here we go. 188 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,463 you only got one vote. 189 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,431 And it was you [Laughter] 190 00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:21,702 While I on the other hand, 191 00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:24,538 took the finest brotha in the hood 192 00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:27,140 to my prom. He was prom king. 193 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:30,578 Does the name um Chico De Barge ring any bells? 194 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,546 Wait, you went to prom with Chico De Barge? 195 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:33,714 No! 196 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,917 I went with his cousin Rico, and you know it. 197 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:39,553 Rico was just always a little insecure about 198 00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:42,422 bein' the chocolate De Barge. 199 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,224 That's why it hurt so bad when I 200 00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:46,259 found out about his passing. 201 00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:47,928 Oh no. He passed away? 202 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:51,398 Oh hell, no. He bleached his skin and start passin' for Caucasian. 203 00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:52,633 [Audience laughter] 204 00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:55,235 Now he identifies himself as 205 00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:56,970 Trans-Racial. 206 00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,639 You sure knew how to pick 'em back in the day. 207 00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:01,775 Don't be mad cause the only people who picked you was the boys' basketball team. 208 00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:04,812 Well at least they weren't callin' me Cicely Bison! 209 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,981 And wha only because I have no neck and broad 210 00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:10,317 - ...shoulders. And I used to go like this... - You don't have a neck or 211 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,952 and like knock people down. 212 00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,987 - Cause I still confuse ?-- - Yes, and that's why you were in the slow classes, 213 00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:15,823 - I wasn't slow. I... - because nobody knew what was wrong with you. 214 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:19,793 - in class I was, hey! - [Indistinct] They were confused. 215 00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:21,829 Both of your prom dates are gone, 216 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:24,632 The glory days are gone. It's really it's no point in arguing, okay. 217 00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:27,167 Aren't we here for Ebony, your niece? 218 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,671 - Yes. - Well everyone is here except Alyssa, which is... 219 00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:33,273 so weird because I texted her earlier to see if she was coming, 220 00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:34,574 and she never responded. 221 00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:38,145 Hey Eb, sorry I'm late. 222 00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,480 I had to print out this huge poster at Kinky's. 223 00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,183 Oh no, it's okay. Thanks for making the poster for me. 224 00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:44,652 Poster for you? 225 00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:47,688 Nah, girl. This one's for me. 226 00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:48,989 [Audience gasps] 227 00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,691 Wait, I didn't know you was runnin'. 228 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,359 I never said I wasn't. 229 00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:55,028 Plus, I was put on the ballot as a last-minute nominee. 230 00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:58,832 And once she convinced me that there were perks to becoming prom queen, I figured 231 00:09:58,866 --> 00:09:59,800 why not give it a shot? 232 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,735 Okay, now come on, Alyssa. 233 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:03,737 You know Ebony's been wanting this. 234 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,706 You gotta support your girl. 235 00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,875 I do support her, 236 00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:09,576 but I ain't votin' for her. 237 00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:14,214 I mean's what's a big win without a little competition, right? 238 00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:18,218 Oh you about to win big with this little ass-whoopin' I'm about to give you. 239 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:19,687 Okay. Go ahead, do it. 240 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,588 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, you run. - Stop her! - Let me through. Get her. 241 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,056 - Get back. - Stop her! 242 00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,959 [Instrumental Music] 243 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,896 - Mmm. - Oh hey, Devin. 244 00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:30,430 Oh hey, Dad. 245 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,865 What you up to? 246 00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:33,901 Oh just about to go to Ross's house to play a little Fort Night. 247 00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:35,235 What's up witchu? 248 00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:37,570 Oh we are about to clean these rain gutters. Come on. 249 00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:38,872 How long is that gonna take? 250 00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:41,408 As long as it takes. Now bring your ass, boy. 251 00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,243 Gotta clean the rain gutters. 252 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:47,080 A first of all, you might wanna take off that hoodie. It's way too hot out here for all that. 253 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,549 When you're as cool as I am, 254 00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,351 you never get hot. 255 00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:53,754 I thought I was about to have a heat stroke if you don't take off that hoodie. 256 00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,089 I'm good, Dad. I promise. 257 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:57,791 Wait a minute. Come here. 258 00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,694 [Audience laughter] 259 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,095 Is that my hoodie you've got on? 260 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,263 Yeah. 261 00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,365 Now what did I tell you about goin' into my closet? 262 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:08,601 That if I ever came out, I better not have Mom heels on. 263 00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:12,272 No! That if you wear my clothes, you better ask me first. 264 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,307 Now take my damn hoodie off, Devin. 265 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,777 Ah but but I don't have a shirt on underneath. 266 00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,212 So? You ain't a woman. Take the hoodie off. 267 00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:20,781 Mm hmm. 268 00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:22,916 You know what? 269 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:25,418 I will go take off your hoodie. I'll put it right back in your closet. 270 00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:28,989 But I'm just gonna change into a T-shirt. You know I'll be right back. 271 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:32,059 [Instrumental Music] 272 00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:35,128 Miss Teen Vogue. I'm talkin' about myself, not you. 273 00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:37,497 - [Lori laughs] - [Rachel] You wanna go low for the good angles. 274 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,399 Ooh, boomerang. 275 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,001 - [Lori] Boomerang - [Rachel] Get the door. 276 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,335 What, what do I look like? 277 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,804 The help. 278 00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:47,374 [Upbeat Instrumental Music] 279 00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:52,980 Oh, it's you. 280 00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:55,816 You look like Cinderella had a very very broke mother. 281 00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:58,786 Girl, Oooooh, 282 00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:00,253 don't test me. Not today, 283 00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:04,091 not while I'm lookin' like Molly Ringwald, Pretty in Pink. 284 00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:05,725 [Audience laughter] 285 00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:14,201 Alright, everybody, it's time for my daughter Ebony, 286 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,669 AKA your future prom queen, 287 00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:18,671 to make her grand entrance. 288 00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:22,475 So would everyone please turn your attention to the stairs? 289 00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:24,177 Cue the music, baby. 290 00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,046 What does she want me to play? 291 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:28,281 A just pick any song. Pick any song. 292 00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:30,517 Is Bounced up Bootie in a circle okay? 293 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:33,887 A how bout I have your dad bounce his butt off your bootie in a circle? 294 00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:35,222 Okay. 295 00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:37,524 [Gasping] 296 00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:41,728 [Cheering and applause] 297 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:44,965 [Hip-hop Music] 298 00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:46,699 - [Alyssa clears throat] - Hey, Alyssa. 299 00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:50,503 Oh hey, Ebony. You look good, girl. Where'd you get your dress... 300 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:51,738 mom's closet? 301 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,541 Online actually. Where'd you get yours, Swap meet? 302 00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:57,077 Valenciago, actually. 303 00:12:57,744 --> 00:13:01,148 Wow, it looks like your prom party is turning out to be a huge success. 304 00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:03,884 Yeah, it is. Well you wouldn't be so surprised if you were 305 00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,853 here earlier helping me set up like we planned. 306 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:08,255 Well in case you haven't noticed, I've been... 307 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,223 pretty busy myself. 308 00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:13,894 Hm well, judging by the fact that Davonte's your date and barely even knows you, 309 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,595 yeah. That's obvious. 310 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,697 [Audience gasps] 311 00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:24,771 - Ah, you wanna take some pics? - Yeah. 312 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,813 [Audience laughter] 313 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,650 [Audience gasps] Oh woa woa woa. 314 00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:41,288 [Ebony faintly squeals] 315 00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:45,692 She is messy! 316 00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:47,460 [Music sting] 317 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:50,030 [Instrumental Music] 318 00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:52,732 Ooh did you see what she just did? I shoulda kissed him first. 319 00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:55,768 No, no okay, you kept it classy and that little stunt 320 00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:57,237 was nothin' but trashy. 321 00:13:57,270 --> 00:14:00,908 I know, Mom but maybe bein' a little trashy is what it takes to win. 322 00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:03,743 I mean I don't know, maybe I'm just not cut out for this, 323 00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:07,247 unless I wanted to make out with Davonte and to sway them in my favor. 324 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,083 I'm sorry, what? You wanted to make out with who in the back of whose van? 325 00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:12,219 Okay a which one of these little negroes about to catch these hands? 326 00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:13,887 - Hmm? Speak up! - No, no no no no. 327 00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:17,290 She's saying she doesn't want to make out with anyone. That's what she's saying. 328 00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:21,094 Oh. Okay, good. Cause daddy is entirely too good lookin' to go to prison. 329 00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:23,230 Now a what are you doin' here in this kitchen? 330 00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:25,565 Why aren't you out there with your little classmates and your best friend? 331 00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:28,501 Make that ex best friend. A best friend wouldn't sabotage me 332 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,603 in front of everyone in order to make prom queen. 333 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,105 [Sighs] what, is that what this is about? 334 00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:35,342 A silly little prom queen competition. I say let her have it. 335 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,277 You mean let her win? Why? 336 00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,446 [Sighs] Because it doesn't mean anything. 337 00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:42,249 Ah being prom queen does not define who you are. 338 00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:43,083 It doesn't? 339 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:44,617 Of course not. 340 00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:47,988 If it did, your Aunt Lori would be datin' princes instead of kissin' frogs. 341 00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:50,290 Okay, now your father is right. 342 00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:52,192 You know, you just gotta be the bigger person. 343 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:55,362 It's the only way Alyssa's gonna realize how wrong she was. 344 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,965 I guess you guys are right. Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Dad. 345 00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:01,034 You got it. And if you ever come to blows with her, 346 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,469 just remember what Daddy taught ya. 347 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,637 Slip the jab, counter with the upper cut. 348 00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:07,007 Finish her! You know what I'm talkin' about. Come on, show me the two punch. 349 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,808 - Two toh-- mm hm. There it is. There is is. - Oh! 350 00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,643 - There is is. We'll work on it more later. - [Ebony laughs] 351 00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,545 - It's pretty good though. That's dope. - When did daddy teach you that? 352 00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,547 Oh no, we diggin' it in. We diggin' it in. 353 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,849 - Nobody drives a van though, for real though. Right? - Wow. 354 00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:21,154 [Instrumental Music] 355 00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:22,455 Hey, Dev. 356 00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:25,792 Hey, Dad. I know. I know, Scrub the dishes, take out the trash. 357 00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:29,029 But I haven't finished stackin' the plates up, hores devores. 358 00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:29,997 [Audience laughter] 359 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,499 A first of all, it's hors d'oeuvres. 360 00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:36,003 And second, I was just gonna invite you to come fishin' with me and the fellas this weekend. 361 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,071 Oh that sounds cool. I'm down. 362 00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:39,872 - Alright, I'll let 'em know. - Ow! 363 00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,674 Devin, did you get the alcohol? 364 00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:44,511 Eh ah...Devin, what alcohol is she referrin' to? 365 00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,146 Ah. umm... 366 00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:49,049 Oh, great. You're showin' him. 367 00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:51,051 Showin' me what? 368 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:55,188 Alright, don't you try that Wendy Williams pass out. That ain't gonna work with me. 369 00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:58,325 Well...since I've been put on the spot, 370 00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:00,327 I guess I'm forced to show you. 371 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,862 But before I do, you promise you won't get mad? 372 00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:04,597 Mmm, can't guarantee that, son. 373 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,400 I'm a black man with a short fuse so there's a 50% chance 374 00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:09,602 that I may or may not have my foot up your ass. 375 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:10,903 [Audience laughter] 376 00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:13,873 What's that? 377 00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:15,042 Ah! 378 00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,877 Got a tattoo. Hmm. 379 00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:19,646 [Audience laughter] 380 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:22,215 - Tony. - Hold on. Let me holler at you real quick. Let's talk about it. 381 00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:24,917 - Tony. Tony. - We can talk about it. I'll wait. I'll wait. 382 00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,753 [Instrumental Music] 383 00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:29,389 A tattoo. A damn tattoo, Devin. Really? 384 00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:30,823 You know those things are addictive. 385 00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:33,226 Next thing you know, you'll have a full sleeve full of mumble rap lyrics, 386 00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:36,296 and pictures of naked women. Then you'll get a neck tat of your ex-girlfriend 387 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:39,532 followed by a teardrop for killin' somebody for makin' fun of how dumb you look. 388 00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:40,733 Okay, calm down. 389 00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,502 Calm down, Lisa? How can I calm down? 390 00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:45,805 The boy got his initials carved into him like a damn tree. Why would you do that, Devin? 391 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,074 Why would you do that? 392 00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,241 Because I wanted it. 393 00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:50,077 Because you wanted it? Because you wanted it! 394 00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:51,711 I wanted Tyra Banks, but I didn't get her. 395 00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:53,580 But if you did, wouldn't you be happy? 396 00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:56,416 Child, yes. No, no. No. Absolutely not. 397 00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,885 No I mean, it's okay, because I wanted Wesley Snipes, 398 00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:02,089 but I got a butter knife, not a blade. You know? 399 00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:06,093 But what I think Devin is tryin' to say is that since he's legally an adult, 400 00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:07,260 his body/his choice. 401 00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:08,561 Whose side are you on, Lisa? 402 00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:12,099 It's not about sides, Tony. It's about accepting one's decisions. 403 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:15,001 Trust me, I was mad about it, and I think it's normal 404 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:18,238 to be critical It's just important we're not hypocritical. 405 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,806 What's that supposed to mean? 406 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:23,276 Oh don't pretend like you didn't get your ears pierced at 16 and had that swollen 407 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:25,845 earlobe that almost resulted in a keloid. 408 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:28,248 What? Is that true? 409 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:31,484 There may be some truth to that, but that's not exactly... 410 00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:33,920 alright, fine. Yes, I did that. 411 00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:36,656 There wa there was a time in my youth 412 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,659 when I felt the need to act out and express myself. 413 00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:42,162 Mm hm. Like father, like son. 414 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,830 I see your point, Lisa. 415 00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,766 Alright son, I'm sorry for yelling. 416 00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:50,303 But that's the only way I know how to express myself when I feel blind-sighted. 417 00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:51,704 Now if you wanted to get a tattoo, 418 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,973 you coulda told me and we woulda went down and got matching ones. 419 00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:55,875 Really, you would do that? 420 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,677 Hell, no. My body's a temple. 421 00:17:57,710 --> 00:18:02,315 But I would have respected you more if you told me like that. 422 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:06,153 Touché. Well, I'm really really sorry Dad, for goin' in secret. 423 00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:10,657 I'll be sure to tell you next time I go when I get "Fear, God" tatted on my eyelids. 424 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,159 [Audience laughter] 425 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:15,495 I'm just kidding, but I do promise to communicate with the both of you. 426 00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:19,199 - I love you, son. - Love you too, Dad. 427 00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,069 Lisa that boy gets another tattoo, 428 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,872 I'm a be makin' moonshine out of a prison toilet. You know what I'm talkin' about? 429 00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:27,640 [Audience laughter] 430 00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:29,008 [Instrumental Music] 431 00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,443 [Knocking] 432 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,222 - Hey. - What do you want? 433 00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:45,091 I'm ah, can we talk? 434 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,559 Please? 435 00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:48,928 You're here, so talk. 436 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:52,432 Look Eb, I'm really sorry, okay? I was completely out of line 437 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,702 for running for prom queen, knowing that you wanted it way more. 438 00:18:56,203 --> 00:18:59,105 What I did was selfish. 439 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,208 - True. - Immature. 440 00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:03,276 Mm hm. Yep. Don't forget cruel. 441 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:06,246 [Audience laughter] Dang, I was cruel too? 442 00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:08,415 Okay, you're right. It was cruel. 443 00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:12,118 Look Ebony, I just got so caught up in wanting to be prom queen, 444 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:15,755 that I completely lost sight of what I truly value the most. 445 00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,457 Our friendship. 446 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:19,959 I'm really sorry, Eb. 447 00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:24,597 Okay. It's okay. I forgive you. 448 00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:28,768 I just hope Davonte forgives us for using him as a prop in all these photos. 449 00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:31,638 Girl that boy is the least of my concerns. 450 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:34,774 Once I found out that he was one of Tight Weave Theresa's exes, 451 00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:38,144 girl, I bounced faster than a deadbeat father's child support check. 452 00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:40,947 Wow, that's insane. 453 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:46,085 But to be completely honest, I'm actually glad Porscha Phillips won. 454 00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:49,289 Ah her weave was a little crooked but 455 00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:50,623 She still slayed. 456 00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:52,792 Okay, you petty. 457 00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:55,795 And that's why you love me. 458 00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:57,264 Still friends? 459 00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:58,998 Still friends. 460 00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:01,234 [Music sting] [Laughter] 461 00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:04,937 [Instrumental Music] 462 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,476 Tony, what you in deep thought about? 463 00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,478 Why your shirt matches the blanket? 464 00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:13,346 [Audience laughter] 465 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:16,649 Yeah I'm just thinkin', did we do a good job raisin' our kids? 466 00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:18,050 What do you mean? 467 00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:20,953 I mean did we do what we said we were gonna do before we had kids? 468 00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:22,755 I mean I think so. 469 00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:25,692 You know, you're a good dad. I'm a good mom, and we fine. 470 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,994 - Baby, we fine. - I know that's right. 471 00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:30,597 Besides, neither one of us turned out to be what 472 00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:31,864 our parents would've wanted, you know? 473 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,466 And I'm actually pretty proud of that. 474 00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:35,868 Oh I'm definitely not what my mother thought I was gonna be. 475 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,505 She thought I'd go off to college and come back wearin' a 476 00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:41,274 hunter sports coat with patches on the elbows 477 00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:43,009 and a corn cob pipe. 478 00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:45,878 Yeah, and if I would've done what my father wanted me to do, 479 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:46,879 I would took that lotto 480 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:49,716 ticket and moved the kids to North Carolina. 481 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,250 [Audience laughter] 482 00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:55,488 [Instrumental Music] 38575

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