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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,349 --> 00:00:03,655 [Instrumental Music] 2 00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:07,920 Wasn't it hilarious though when Lupita Digongo burnt that ladies edges off with the hot comb? 3 00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:11,881 No, that was terrifyin'. I don't ever want to see another scary movie again. 4 00:00:11,924 --> 00:00:15,015 Yeah I gotta agree with Devin, Tony. Wewas creepy. 5 00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:18,061 I mean two evil sisters runnin' around your own house tryin' to 6 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,845 kill you isn't scary to you, Dad? 7 00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:22,587 Hell nah, I deal with that on a daily basis with Lori and Rachel. 8 00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:24,111 Had to set up some wig traps. 9 00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:26,504 Caught me a wine silkie an a Persian perm the other day. 10 00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:28,550 [Laughter] 11 00:00:28,593 --> 00:00:31,074 I don't think I'm gonna be able to sleep in my own bed tonight to be honest. 12 00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:33,685 Aw, that's okay, baby. You can sleep in Mommy's bed tonight. 13 00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:37,646 Hell no his big-ass can't. We better lights some candles and say some prayers or somethin'. 14 00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:39,691 The boy trippin'. 15 00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:41,606 Okay, why is my key not workin'? 16 00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:44,653 Did you change the locks again to keep out Donnie and them parasites? 17 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,655 No! Maybe you're doin' it wrong. 18 00:00:46,698 --> 00:00:48,309 - Okay. - It wouldn't be the first time. 19 00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:49,832 [Laughter] 20 00:00:49,875 --> 00:00:53,749 Ah, no. What? Must be busted or somethin'. 21 00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:56,534 Do you need Devin to climb through his bedroom window that he uses 22 00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:58,188 at night to sneak out? 23 00:00:58,232 --> 00:01:01,148 [Devin chuckles] Or, we could use your ginormous head to bust 24 00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:01,974 through the door. 25 00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:03,846 Okay, okay, knock it off.' 26 00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:06,153 I'll just go around and see if the a kitchen door is open. And if not, 27 00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:08,459 we can always call Lori to come through and chew through the locks. 28 00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:09,852 [Theme Music] 29 00:01:09,895 --> 00:01:11,767 á* Woke up and my wife said to meá* 30 00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:14,117 á* The bill collectors want their feesá* 31 00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:16,511 á* The kids keep talkin' back to meá* 32 00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:18,121 á* Family timá* 33 00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:20,602 á* Family time. Family timeá* 34 00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:23,605 á* Family Time. Waa aah woa oah oah oah yeah á* 35 00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:26,782 [Instrumental Music] 36 00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:29,785 Oh Lisa, good. You got in. 37 00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:32,353 Girl, open this doah. A brotha gotta handle some bidness. 38 00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:35,530 Buttery popcorn gave me the bubble guts. 39 00:01:35,573 --> 00:01:36,357 [Audience laughter] 40 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,575 Lisa! 41 00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:38,576 Lih, 42 00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:42,145 This girl is trippin', and how did you change clothes so fast? 43 00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:44,321 Hey, open the doah. 44 00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:47,542 Come on. Come on, emergency here. Number two. 45 00:01:47,585 --> 00:01:49,413 That doo doo. [Snaps fingers] 46 00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:51,850 Open the doah. Twist the knob. I know it's hard but 47 00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:53,939 take the mitts off, open the doah, twist the 48 00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:56,116 just like alright, oh we playin' games now? 49 00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:58,683 Okay, alright. A brotha can't get no respect, 50 00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,816 pay all the bills and get no respect. 51 00:02:00,859 --> 00:02:02,122 Ooh, can't stand this. 52 00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:04,994 Mom, I only snuck out once. I promise. 53 00:02:05,037 --> 00:02:07,039 What the hell, Lisa. Why ain't you let me in? 54 00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:08,693 Tony, what are you talkin' about? 55 00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:11,305 Come on. You you know I was tryin' to get up in that kitchen. 56 00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:12,436 Mm, 57 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,222 you kitchen is lookin' a little nappy. 58 00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:17,833 You should use one of the hot combs from the movie. 59 00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:20,183 How about I use a belt from one of them old Westerns. 60 00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:22,359 [Audience laughter] 61 00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:25,188 Now this is just great. I'm missin' my show, The Real Baby Mamas of Baldwin Hills. 62 00:02:25,232 --> 00:02:28,974 All I wanna know is, how did you get out here so fast when I just saw you in the kitchen? 63 00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:30,846 What? 64 00:02:30,889 --> 00:02:32,848 You know what I'm talkin' about, and what's with all the wardrobe changes? 65 00:02:32,891 --> 00:02:35,851 Wardrobe changes? Tony, I was never in the kitchen. 66 00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:39,376 Wait, you know what that movie, that movie I think is startin' to mess with your head. 67 00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:42,205 Yeah, Dad. I told you the movie was pretty scary. 68 00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:45,208 Look, ain't nobody scared of no damn movie. I'm just tryin' to get in this bathroom, alright. 69 00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,775 I got the bubble guts. 70 00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:48,429 [Door creaks open] 71 00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:49,517 Mom... 72 00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:51,562 what's goin' on? 73 00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:53,695 And what's that [sniffs] smell? 74 00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:56,219 Let's just say I ain't got the bubble guts no mo. 75 00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,961 [Computerized voice] Welcome home, Stallworths. 76 00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:00,876 Please enter! 77 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,269 Come on, baby. I got your back. 78 00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:04,227 - I'm right behind you. - Tony! 79 00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:07,187 [Audience laughter] 80 00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:10,494 [Laughter escalates] 81 00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:16,979 Ah Mom, when did you change the picture? 82 00:03:17,022 --> 00:03:20,461 - Oh my goodness, I didn't. Tony, call the cops. - Mmm. 83 00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:23,725 [Creepy Music] 84 00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:25,988 [Computerized Lisa] Tether yourselves to the couch. 85 00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:27,642 What the hell are you people doin' in my house? 86 00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:28,773 Sit your asses down. 87 00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:30,253 Yes, ma'am. 88 00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:31,950 [Audience laughter] 89 00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:36,651 Let me tell you a story about a lonely housewife 90 00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:41,090 She had dreams, but her husband never listened. 91 00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:44,702 So much power on the inside. So much 92 00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,443 weakness on the out. 93 00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:50,926 Until the inside conquered the outside and she became 94 00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:52,928 perfect. 95 00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:54,103 Who the hell are you talkin' about? 96 00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:55,974 You, trick. 97 00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:58,238 - Oh, I'm a show you a trick and make you disapp-- - Babe, wait. 98 00:03:58,281 --> 00:04:00,283 Baby, baby, a listen. Now 99 00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:01,893 how did you people get in my house? 100 00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:03,939 [Guttural sound] 101 00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:06,942 He doesn't talk much. 102 00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:09,901 Why do they look so much like us? 103 00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:14,297 Oh are you kiddin' me? With that tacky outfit on she does not look nothin' like me. 104 00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:16,517 [Whipping sound] [Scream] 105 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,128 Okay just tell us what y'all want. 106 00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:22,349 We want to teach you a lesson about family time. 107 00:04:22,392 --> 00:04:24,438 Please join us for dinner. 108 00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:27,354 You know actually I'm not that hungry, and I should go change my draws anyway. 109 00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:31,140 Draws, you will not change. Join us! 110 00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:33,142 [Buzzer sounds] Oh, I'm out. 111 00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:34,665 Oah. 112 00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:35,971 [Sniffing] 113 00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:37,799 Go change your draws first. 114 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:40,497 Yeah if I could. Excuse me. 115 00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:44,109 [Suspenseful Music] 116 00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:46,764 - [Tony] Mm. - [Lisa] Mm hm. 117 00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,549 How does it taste? 118 00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,594 It's actually not that bad. 119 00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:53,597 I know. I put my foot in it. 120 00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:56,992 After it was perfectly sterilized, of course. 121 00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:57,949 [Audience laughter] 122 00:04:57,993 --> 00:04:59,908 Anyone else feeling sleepy? 123 00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:00,822 Yeah. 124 00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:03,564 Yeah, what what else did you guys put in this? 125 00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:05,000 The Itis. 126 00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:06,218 What? 127 00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:09,744 Black-eyed peas seasoned to perfection. 128 00:05:09,787 --> 00:05:12,834 Chicken fried to the perfect crisp. 129 00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:15,706 And a whole pan of macaroni and cheese with 130 00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:18,622 perfectly burned corners so sharp they could cut you. 131 00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:19,362 [Audience laughter] 132 00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:21,016 [Guttural sound] 133 00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:22,626 [Audience laughter] 134 00:05:22,670 --> 00:05:24,149 Who are you people? 135 00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:25,629 We're y'all. 136 00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:28,632 [Audience laughter] 137 00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:34,812 I don't know about them, but I built up an immunity to the Itis. 138 00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:37,249 [Music sting] 139 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:38,903 [Instrumental Music] 140 00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:40,557 [Doorbell rings] 141 00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:47,651 Ah he he hey, what's up, Lisa? Um... 142 00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:51,002 why you dressin' all white? You and Tony about to play doctor again? 143 00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:53,657 These re the garments for the Crossover. 144 00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:56,965 The shadows will soon be in control, Donnie. 145 00:05:57,008 --> 00:06:00,098 Why you sound like Macy Gray after a shot of dark liquor? 146 00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,623 Would you like a bite to eat? 147 00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:05,669 Ah he hell, yeah. Whe hey, wait. Where, where's Tony? 148 00:06:05,713 --> 00:06:08,672 [Instrumental Music] 149 00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:10,805 [Snoring] 150 00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:12,197 [Instrumental Music] 151 00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,590 Mmm. 152 00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:15,462 Mmm. 153 00:06:15,810 --> 00:06:19,248 [Moaning contently] 154 00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:23,208 Oh there you go, Tone. Lisa did her thing tonight with her chicken, man. 155 00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:25,994 Yeah. You been takin' cookin' classes, girl? 156 00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:27,299 Cause you killed this. 157 00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:29,693 You're right. I did kill it. 158 00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:32,696 The chicken ran around headless for 30 seconds after I 159 00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:34,306 slashed it's throat. 160 00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:35,046 [Audience gasps] slashed it's throat. 161 00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:35,960 [Audience gasps] 162 00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:37,222 The blood was warm and tasty. 163 00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:40,400 Uh Tone, you wanna get her 164 00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:44,621 throat checked out, man? She sound like Doc Rivers after a post-game interview. 165 00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:46,449 [Audience laughter] 166 00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:49,583 Speakin' of basketball, man. Hey, you gonna watch the game that you recorded? 167 00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,280 What is this game you speak of? 168 00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:53,195 You know the one that came out the same time as y'all wanna go 169 00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:54,849 see that creepy-ass movie. 170 00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:57,112 What creepy-ass movie? 171 00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:59,114 The one with Napita N'gongo, 172 00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:03,292 where she crawled up out the sewer but her skin still look flawless. 173 00:07:03,335 --> 00:07:05,729 I heard they got 100% on Spoiled Potatoes. 174 00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:08,123 I have yet to experience it. 175 00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:11,082 Well I can't blame you cause Donnie and scary movies don't mix. 176 00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:14,912 Last time I saw a scary movie I was more nervous than a surgeon with Parkinson's. 177 00:07:14,956 --> 00:07:16,131 [Audience laughter] 178 00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:18,133 Anyway, wanna watch the game? 179 00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:19,526 What is this game you speak of? 180 00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:23,094 [Sighs] The basketball game, man. 181 00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,922 I do not watch games anymore, 182 00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:27,229 - [Donnie sighs] - ...not since the Crossover. 183 00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:31,059 Listen man, I know little D-Lil's crossover was a dagger, 184 00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:34,105 but you can't tell me you weren't impressed when he put that guy up on the poster. 185 00:07:34,149 --> 00:07:37,805 We are the new poster of perfection. 186 00:07:38,066 --> 00:07:42,897 Tony is too busy building a better life for his family 187 00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:45,900 to partake in watching this 188 00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:47,902 so-called game. 189 00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:48,990 [Audience laughter] 190 00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:51,296 You should take notes, Donald, 191 00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:52,515 and do the same. 192 00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:54,691 Would you stop callin' me Donald, man. 193 00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:58,173 Alright, I ain't about to have no kids with one of these crazy broads out here. 194 00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:01,959 I mean, the only way I'd even consider havin' a baby is if Lisa was the surrogate. 195 00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:04,179 [Chuckles] You know? I don't know if that's somethin' that you were-- 196 00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:08,966 [Audience laughter] 197 00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:12,535 That's something Tony should've done a long time ago. 198 00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:16,713 [Instrumental Music] 199 00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:18,193 [Loud grunt] 200 00:08:18,236 --> 00:08:21,022 - [Devin Gasps] - [Tony] What the? Donnie? 201 00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:22,545 Ah, where am I, man? 202 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,068 Am I in heaven? 203 00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,506 Ah Tony's here. I must be in hell. 204 00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:29,378 If I wasn't still drowsy from it Itis, I'd knock you the hell out. 205 00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,685 You already knocked me the hell out in the kitchen, remember? 206 00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:33,513 Least you could do is untie me. 207 00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:34,992 That wasn't me, Donnie. 208 00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:37,734 Wait, they got you too, uncle Donnie? 209 00:08:37,778 --> 00:08:38,822 They, who's they? 210 00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:39,954 He means y'all. 211 00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:41,433 I thought it was we. 212 00:08:41,477 --> 00:08:43,740 It's whoever those invaders are that look just like us. 213 00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:47,309 Apparently they're our alter egos who have manifested themselves 214 00:08:47,352 --> 00:08:49,006 into our actual lives 215 00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:51,269 after we saw that scary movie. 216 00:08:52,314 --> 00:08:54,229 What? I read the reviews. 217 00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:57,449 Besides, we're not the only family this is happening to. 218 00:08:57,493 --> 00:09:00,627 #creepyassfamily's trending on Twitter. 219 00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:02,237 Well how are people getting rid of 'em? 220 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:03,804 Let me check. 221 00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:08,156 Okay, okay. It says here that we have to come to terms with 222 00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:10,637 [Sighs] my phone died. 223 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,029 Ebony, you got yours? 224 00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:14,292 No. It got taken when I got grounded, remember? 225 00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:16,425 Hm, sounds like a personal problem. 226 00:09:16,468 --> 00:09:20,211 No. A personal problem is that itchy rash that you won't tell mom and dad about. 227 00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:23,258 Okay, like that? Ah ho, don't have me tell 'em about page 228 00:09:23,301 --> 00:09:26,391 28 in your diary, A Night to Remember. 229 00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:30,178 Stop. Stop. Arguing is not gonna solve this problem. 230 00:09:30,221 --> 00:09:32,659 You know what? We should try to call for help. 231 00:09:32,702 --> 00:09:34,661 Aow, dang it. They locked us dow here. 232 00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:38,099 Oah nah Tone, I'm claustrophobic, man. 233 00:09:38,142 --> 00:09:40,754 First, we gonna run out oxygen down here and I'll be 234 00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:43,321 forced to have to eat Devin cause we ain't got no food. 235 00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:47,325 And then once you die I'll have no other choice but to have to marry Lisa. 236 00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:49,893 Only thing that's gonna get married is my fist to your face, 237 00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:51,112 okay? 238 00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,330 [Audience laughter] 239 00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:54,332 We have to figure out how to get outa here. 240 00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:56,073 But who can help us? 241 00:09:56,117 --> 00:10:00,034 Lisa! Hello, Lisa. Oh. 242 00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:01,426 Who are you? 243 00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:02,863 What do you mean? 244 00:10:02,906 --> 00:10:05,648 Honey who are you without your french tips? No no no. 245 00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:08,869 We need to schedule a mani/pedi right now. Come with me. 246 00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,000 Cheryl! 247 00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:11,654 [Instrumental Music] 248 00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:14,526 Okay Stallworths, I am loving this all white. 249 00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:17,225 Okay, who got married? Why didn't you ask me to play in the wedding? 250 00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:21,403 The wardrobe choice of my family should not be your concern. 251 00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:24,406 Ooh, it absolutely concerns me. 252 00:10:24,449 --> 00:10:28,018 As does your voice. You sound like DMX in a barking competition. 253 00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:29,716 [Barks] 254 00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:31,326 Aren't you hungry? 255 00:10:31,369 --> 00:10:33,371 You know actually I'm good. Although Lisa, 256 00:10:33,415 --> 00:10:35,156 this looks divine. Well done. 257 00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:36,331 Eat it. 258 00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:37,680 [Groaning] 259 00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:40,901 Oh...there's no call to be rude. 260 00:10:40,944 --> 00:10:43,817 Devin, I'll just have a little bite. 261 00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:45,296 Um... 262 00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:49,344 you know what? Actually, I'm just gonna get back to the reason that I came. 263 00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:51,520 I was wondering if you guys have any idea why the key to my house doesn't work? 264 00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:53,174 Why would we know about that? 265 00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:55,567 Ooh I don't know. I was just looking for some help so 266 00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:58,135 I went to this movie with this guy named Javier. Well 267 00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:00,311 okay so not the Javier from yoga class, okay. 268 00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:02,574 Javier with the sharpest abs 269 00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:03,837 that God could ever sculpt. 270 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,535 Get to the point. 271 00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:09,712 Okay. Well, basically I was stood up. 272 00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:14,195 But I still went to see the movie Weanyway. Oh my gosh it is so scary. 273 00:11:14,238 --> 00:11:17,764 Okay, Dapita D'gongo needs a breath mint and a hot shower but she should 274 00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:19,156 still win that Oscar. 275 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:22,116 Your head's gonna make a great trophy on my wall. 276 00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:25,772 That is the scariest line from the movie. You didn't tell me you saw it too. 277 00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:29,123 Do you remember the part where they try and burn the lady's neck with a hot comb? 278 00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:32,387 - Uah. - Would you like your edges to be laid? 279 00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:35,346 No. Lih Lisa, no. I did a Brazilian blowout. 280 00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:36,391 It is no heat. 281 00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:38,654 Eat your food! 282 00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:41,004 [Cheryl's inner thoughts] Now wait just a damn minute. 283 00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:43,964 Cheryl, don't curse at yourself. It isn't proper head language. 284 00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:46,444 Now back to what I'm saying. Huh! 285 00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:50,318 The all white. The perfect looking mac and cheese, the hot comb, 286 00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:54,801 Lisa's gorgeously laid edges. There is only one logical explanation. 287 00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:58,021 The Stallworth shadows have taken over the house and locked the real Stallworths 288 00:11:58,065 --> 00:12:00,807 in the man cave, only to steal their souls during the Crossover. 289 00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:03,026 [Outward yelp] It's just like Gordon Neele's movie. 290 00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:05,159 I have to do something to save them. 291 00:12:05,202 --> 00:12:07,378 I can't eat the this. I'm on a diet. 292 00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:09,816 Key Keto diet, so none of this works. 293 00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:13,036 And also I have a key under my mat so I'm just gonna 294 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,822 you use that. Toodles. 295 00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:17,301 [Audience laughter] 296 00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:20,130 Oh my goodness! There's... 297 00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:22,916 a large hood rat outside. 298 00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:26,267 Fih, it's so...you should look at this. It's huge. 299 00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:29,052 It's a veh, it's so big. 300 00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:31,402 Sooo ah! 301 00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:33,317 Okay! 302 00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:36,059 [Audience applause] Cheryl beat the shadows. Cheryl beat the shadows. 303 00:12:36,103 --> 00:12:37,582 [Music sting] 304 00:12:37,626 --> 00:12:39,367 [Instrumental Music] 305 00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:42,849 Huh, I should save the day more often. It feels good. 306 00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:46,461 You know maybe I'll be a vigilante on the weekends. Marry Batman. 307 00:12:46,504 --> 00:12:48,419 And Joker would be my sidepiece. 308 00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:49,681 [Tony] Ah Cheryl? 309 00:12:49,725 --> 00:12:52,293 Oh right, the real Stallworths. I'm coming! 310 00:12:53,381 --> 00:12:55,383 [Cheryl] Oh, oh my. 311 00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:57,254 [Cheryl and Tony gasp] 312 00:12:57,298 --> 00:12:58,821 - [Cheryl] Hey. - [Donnie grunting] 313 00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:03,347 Hah, air, oxygen. Ooh, and perfect Lisa's chicken. 314 00:13:03,391 --> 00:13:05,393 Donnie, you eat that and you die. 315 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:09,266 You just mad cause this chicken got better legs and thighs than you do. 316 00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,094 [Audience aw's] 317 00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:13,270 Uh, oh my God. They're gonna break down the door with a hot comb. 318 00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:16,970 Like hell they are. Those are the strongest bulletproof doors on the market. 319 00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:19,233 Cheryl, how did you manage to get them trapped outside? 320 00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:22,453 Oh it was easy. I just used my mind control powers. 321 00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:24,194 [Cheryl] Heh, I mean I'm kidding, 322 00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:25,456 or am I? 323 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:26,893 You'll never know. 324 00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:29,852 Okay. Well, I'm gonna go grab 325 00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:33,595 my phone charger so I can figure out how to get rid a dem for good. 326 00:13:33,638 --> 00:13:37,294 Up you know, anybody's seen the movie knows how to get rid of them. It's all about 327 00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:41,255 unleashing your deepest, darkest fear. 328 00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:43,648 But what does that mean exactly, Cheryl? 329 00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:46,695 You got me more confused than Ellen's boxers. 330 00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:50,438 It means that whatever you're afraid of, they're afraid of, 331 00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:53,397 because they're basically just your subconscious in physical form. 332 00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:56,444 Well I ain't never gettin' rid of mine cause I ain't afraid of nutin'. 333 00:13:56,487 --> 00:14:00,404 Come on, Tony. Don't act like you weren't afraid the time I took that pregnancy test. 334 00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:03,407 Touché...and then Ebony was born. 335 00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:04,626 Wow. Thanks, Dad. 336 00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:07,237 Okay. What are you afraid of, Ebony? 337 00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:09,849 Um, I'm terrified of rats. 338 00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,807 Okay. Okay, good. 339 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,418 So, all you have to do is describe how you would feel if the room were 340 00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:16,899 full of rats, and then that fear will transfer to the other Ebony 341 00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:18,901 causing her to dissolve into nothing. 342 00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:21,773 That's not possible. We can't make them dissolve. 343 00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:24,037 Sure we can. We'll do it in post. 344 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,518 Now, just have to make sure that they are within eyesight. 345 00:14:27,562 --> 00:14:29,520 Oh well that's easy, cause they right over there. 346 00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:30,870 [Suspenseful Music] 347 00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,828 Where'd they go? 348 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,483 [Devin's voice echoes] Mom, Dad, do you wanna come in here for a minute? 349 00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:36,919 Oaw, no. 350 00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:37,877 - [Tony] He said mom first. - [Lisa] Tone, Tony,... 351 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,052 - Just go. - ...no, he didn't. 352 00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:40,705 Lisa, I'm right here. I got your back. 353 00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:43,447 Devin. Don't you dare touch him! 354 00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:47,974 See, this is what you get for leavin' that window open that you sneak out of. 355 00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:51,194 You take one step closer, 356 00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:53,283 and I'll burn his tongue 357 00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:55,459 so he sounds like my son. 358 00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:57,200 [Moaning] 359 00:14:58,114 --> 00:15:00,900 Okay okay everybody, relax. Okay just just 360 00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:02,292 tell us what you want. 361 00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:05,078 Ah, wants. 362 00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:07,515 What a funny dream. 363 00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:09,734 You see I am the perfect version 364 00:15:09,778 --> 00:15:12,389 of Lisa Stallworth. 365 00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:14,826 I take care of my family. 366 00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:18,526 I pay my own bills with my own business. 367 00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:23,139 But most importantly, I know how to satisfy 368 00:15:23,183 --> 00:15:24,706 my man! 369 00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:28,666 Da-ha-ham, perfect Lisa can get it. 370 00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:30,233 [Audience laughter] 371 00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:32,670 Only thing I'm missing, 372 00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,759 is a soul! 373 00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:37,414 Uah, too bad you can't talk to Aretha. 374 00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:39,155 She's the Queen of Souls. 375 00:15:39,199 --> 00:15:40,591 [Audience laughter] 376 00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:42,463 If you let go of my brother, I'll give you my soul. 377 00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:44,682 Really, Ebony? You would do that for me? 378 00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:46,641 No, it was a joke, but I'll get you out of this. 379 00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:49,557 - How? - Ah! A rat, a rat, a rat. Ah! 380 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,559 - [Devin] Where? - It's right there. It has... 381 00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,474 - ...yellow, big, sharp teeth. Don't let it bite... - [Squeal] 382 00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:54,692 ...you. You'll get rabies! 383 00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:57,478 Fear. Too much fear. 384 00:15:57,521 --> 00:16:00,176 - Ah. - No, no... 385 00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:05,790 noooo-oooo! 386 00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:07,575 What have you done? 387 00:16:07,618 --> 00:16:09,664 - I killed that heffer. - Ha, ha. That's right. 388 00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:11,535 That's my baby, yes. [Audience applause] 389 00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:13,450 Silence! 390 00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:16,192 Uh oh. Perfect Lisa got a temper. 391 00:16:16,236 --> 00:16:18,586 She must be a gemini. 392 00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:21,632 You may have gotten my daughter, 393 00:16:21,676 --> 00:16:24,374 but this isn't over. 394 00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,594 How'd you make her dissolve like that? 395 00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:29,597 Think of the thing you're most afraid of and then act like it's really happening, Devin. 396 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,034 Okay um, ah ah 397 00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:34,689 Dad, am I really going to the military. 398 00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:36,908 - What are you talkin' about boy? - Play along, Tony. 399 00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:39,172 Oh oh oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pack your bags. 400 00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:42,610 You are gon' off to Wyoming so that you can be yelled at by a buff-ass 401 00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,481 who don't give a damn about your asthma problem. 402 00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:46,657 [Sobbing] 403 00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:48,529 Keep going, Dad. It's working. 404 00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:50,531 Eh ah and you ain't comin' back until you learn respect for your elders, 405 00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:52,533 and you can do 50 pull ups without breakin' a sweat. 406 00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:53,447 You hear me boy? 407 00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:54,622 - Yes. - Yes what, maggot? 408 00:16:54,665 --> 00:16:56,058 Sir, yes sir. 409 00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:58,626 [Groaning] 410 00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:01,672 No! Mah my 411 00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:03,239 baby! 412 00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:06,764 He was dumb but he was my favorite. 413 00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:09,854 Okay. Two down, two to go, Stallworths. 414 00:17:09,898 --> 00:17:12,422 Yeah. Tony, what are you and Lisa gonna do to get rid of y'all's? 415 00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:14,685 I think we both know the answer to this. 416 00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:17,558 Yep. Tony I don't know how to say this but 417 00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:19,038 it's just not workin' out. 418 00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:21,301 Yeah. Even though we've been in love since high school, 419 00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:23,085 I found another woman. 420 00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,434 And it's Cheryl. 421 00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:25,261 [Laughter] 422 00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:26,915 And I found another man. 423 00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:28,786 It's Donnie. 424 00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:31,137 I knew you would recognize my skill. 425 00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:33,617 Guess we have no other choice but to get a divorce. 426 00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:36,446 And I guess this is goodbye forever. 427 00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:39,449 [Groaning] 428 00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:40,711 [Gasping] 429 00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:42,800 - [Donnie] Yes! - [Cheryl] Ah! [Cheering] 430 00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:45,151 [Applause and cheering] 431 00:17:45,194 --> 00:17:47,066 - [Cheryl] Wow. - Alright, man. 432 00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:51,505 You know I really didn't know that your biggest fear was getting a divorce. 433 00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:54,334 Mine's porphyrophobia, fear of the color purple. 434 00:17:54,377 --> 00:17:56,249 You're afraid of things that are purple? 435 00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:57,902 No, the movie. 436 00:17:57,946 --> 00:18:01,645 It was traumatizing. To this day I still can't refer to anyone as 437 00:18:01,993 --> 00:18:03,517 Mister. 438 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,475 [Audience laughter] 439 00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:07,564 Okay Cheryl, thank you for saving the day and all, but you gotta bounce. 440 00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:09,305 Ugh well technically, 441 00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:12,526 my key still doesn't work so I'll be bouncing over to Javier's 442 00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:13,788 Not the one who stood me up. 443 00:18:13,831 --> 00:18:15,485 Javier from yoga class. 444 00:18:15,529 --> 00:18:17,661 Namaste. 445 00:18:17,705 --> 00:18:19,707 You know what, now that I think about it, you don't know anything about that because 446 00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:22,275 I was actually having that conversation with shadow Lisa's-- 447 00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:24,625 [In unison] Bye, Cheryl. 448 00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,670 [Audience laughter] 449 00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:30,109 I'm just glad tonight is over. 450 00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:33,416 Well not for you. Grab a broom. Clean up all these a shadow ashes. 451 00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:37,116 Yes and Ebony, please throw away that food. All of it. 452 00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:39,901 [Clears throat] Ebony, hold tight on all that throwin' away now. 453 00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:41,772 Nobody gonna about to be throwin' away Perfect Lisa's 454 00:18:41,816 --> 00:18:44,427 deliciously amazing leftover, okay? 455 00:18:44,471 --> 00:18:47,561 Ain't nobody's legs and thighs better than Perfect Lisa's. 456 00:18:47,604 --> 00:18:48,736 [Audience laughter] 457 00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:50,303 Whoo, I'm glad this night is over! 458 00:18:50,346 --> 00:18:51,913 And I think we learned a lot about each other. 459 00:18:51,956 --> 00:18:54,524 I'm just glad that you're my wife instead of Perfect Lisa. 460 00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:57,484 Yes well I mean I gotta admit, Perfect Tony was kinda fine. 461 00:18:57,875 --> 00:19:01,052 But you are the perfect one for me. 462 00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:02,793 - Mm hm. - Mm wah. 463 00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:07,798 [Instrumental Music] 464 00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:09,757 I had the craziest dream last night. 465 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,237 Me too. 466 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,064 We were bein' hunted by people that look just like us. 467 00:19:13,108 --> 00:19:15,458 I had the exact same dream. 468 00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:17,765 It felt so real. 469 00:19:17,808 --> 00:19:20,942 I thought I was the only one. It was like the people were like our shadows or something. 470 00:19:20,985 --> 00:19:23,423 They took over the house and held Devin hostage. 471 00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:26,817 Well in my dream, I was married to Rihanna. We have 472 00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:29,211 five tan little babies with strange accents 473 00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:30,952 and we lived in Barbados. 474 00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:32,997 Okay, how is that a nightmare? 475 00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:35,086 Because I came home to visit, 476 00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:38,960 and there was this family that looked just like us who hijacked the house. 477 00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:41,789 Okay that is crazy. We all had similar dreams. 478 00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:45,836 It's that movie's fault. I was so scared, I couldn't sleep in the room by myself. 479 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,490 So I let him sleep on my floor. 480 00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:50,841 My first instinct was to jump in the bed with y'all. 481 00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:53,496 Yeah that instinct woulda got you extinct. 482 00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:55,846 I'm just glad it was all a nightmare. 483 00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:59,720 Yeah well just to be safe, I want all hot combs outa here immediately. 484 00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:03,376 Yeah see now honey if you do that, our edges are gonna be lookin' scarier than that movie. 485 00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:04,725 [Instrumental Music] 486 00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:07,510 [Instrumental Music] 487 00:20:07,554 --> 00:20:10,861 Uah Tone, man it is so good to see you, brother. 488 00:20:10,905 --> 00:20:13,516 - So I went to the store today, right? - Mm hm. 489 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:17,085 And when I got there, I ran into this dude and he gave me the deal of a lifetime, 490 00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:18,913 and I wanna give that same deal to you. 491 00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:21,263 I got the hookup on these brand new watches, 492 00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:24,048 And I wanted to give it to you as payback for me eatin' all the food out your refrigerator. 493 00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:26,529 Donnie if you don't get them fake-ass watches out my house, 494 00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:29,228 my fist in yo face gonna hook up. 495 00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:32,187 It's completely legit, Tone. I promise, man. 496 00:20:32,883 --> 00:20:34,494 Whatever you say, Donnie. 497 00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:37,888 Oh, would you look at that? 498 00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:41,283 Well unfortunately man, it's gonna cost you $150,000. 499 00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:43,546 How about 150,000 ass whoopin's? 500 00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:45,287 Look man, you break it, you buy it. I wish it didn't have 501 00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:47,550 to be this way. 502 00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:49,291 - [Donnie] Uh. - [ Audience laughter] 503 00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:50,684 You got some super glue? 504 00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:53,252 [Instrumental Music] 39459

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