All language subtitles for Family.Time.S06E12.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H264-WhiteHat_track3_[eng]

[Instrumental Music]

Mm mm, that is delicious.

- Mm hm hm.
- Now Lisa, when is the last
time

you remember a snack
lastin'

more than 24 hours in this
house?

[Laughter]
Before the kids were born.

[Laughter]
That boy eats food like a
vacuum.

Too bad he don't know how to use
one.

Well maybe since he's been at
school he's gotten better with
keepin' his space clean.

You forget I went to his dorm
room and visit him.

The thing smelled like corn
chips and feet.

Oh. Mm you know what? Well eat
up, there's plenty.

- Mm hm.
- Ever since Ebony became a
cheerleader,

she's watching her
figure.

Me on the other hand, I can use
a cheat day.

M'kay, well you enjoy your cheat
day and I'll just watch your
figure.

[Laughter]
What's in here?

[Rumbling outside]

What a do, peeps? Your favorite
kid is home.

Don't all hug me at once.

Devin, what are you doin' here?

Uh, I live here.

With all that tuition I pay, no
you don't.

I thought you weren't coming
home until tomorrow.

Surprise. Nice to see you too.

I zipped through them finals and
hit the first thing smokin' back
to LA.

Mm, so how'd you do on your
exams?

You know, busted out them C's.

C's?

Ah Dad, C's get degrees.

[Audience laughter]

Eh well speakin' of C's, at
least he's consistent.

Mm that doesn't make sense cause
a consistent starts with a K.

[Audience laughter]

Guess he gets that from your
side of the family.

Mm.

Where's Ebony?

Oh she's at a cheer retreat for
a few days.

Wait and how did you get here? I
didn't even send you a train
ticket.

A Dad, this ain't the 1800's. I
called grandma.

She used her SkyMiles and she
got me here on a business class
ticket.

And you know them drinks was
flowin'.

Boy if you don't get out my
face,

Alright, I'll go put up my
stuff.

- Oah, it's good to be home.
- Yeah.

Drinks?

That little boy is growin' up!

Yeah his little bougie ass.

Well you know what, he's takin'
the bus back.

- Hopefully he's not.
- I'm sayin'.

He could learn from that
experience.

This is good.

- Yeah.
- You want some?...Nah
- A can someone...

explain to me why my room look
like a WNBA locker room?

Oh I'm sorry honey. You know
what, I needed to sort things
out

before I donated 'em to
Goodwill.

You know I'm with Devin on this
one.

A boy shouldn't have to sleep in
the same room as his mother's
bras and draws.

A gross, Dad.

Gross. TMI.

Well you know what, in the
meantime you can sleep in the
man cave.

You a man now. Uhm.

Appreciate it but ooh hoo!
cookies.

[Chuckling]

Ha.

[Crinkling]

You know what? You gettin' your
man car revoked.

No man takes another man's last
cookie.

Hmm.
[Audience laughter]

[Mumbling] I'm a take your
popcorn and drink too.

[Audience laughter]

[Theme Music]

♪ Woke up and my wife
said to me ♪

♪ The bill collectors
want their fees ♪

♪ The kids keep talkin'
back to me ♪

♪ Family Time

♪ Family Time. Family Time

♪ Oh Oah Family Time

♪ Oh Oh Oah Yea Yeah

[Instrumental Music]

[Yawning]
Ooh Lisa, you got any coffee?

Can we start with a hello?

Girl, you know how I am in
the mornin'. Until I get my
coffee, don't even start.

What's her problem?

Who cares.

Where's Bigfoot?

Tony and Devin are getting
haircuts.

- Ow my baby's back. I can't
wait to see my nephews!
- Me too.

But for now Lisa, grab your
purse and your yoga pants

cause we are going to brunch.

Eeee yoga pants to eat brunch?

Yeah it's a all-you-can-eat
brunch followed by meditation
and yoga. It's

called Mind Body and
Soul...food.

Girl the yoga pants come in
handy for the all-you-can-eat
part.

Sounds like fun but no. I, I
can't. I have to finish an
assignment

for my new creative writing
class.

What creative writing class?

Online writing course I'm
taking. We have a fictional
gossip

blog that's due tomorrow.

Ah the hell with that class.
Let's go eat and take advantage

of the bottomless mimosas.

And you wonder why you never
pass the bar, Cardi DUI.

Oh, and you wonder why you
passed us both in height.

Oh, we already know.

Oh, different daddy.
Different daddy.

"Wilt the Stilt"

Whatever, Macy Greyhound.

Huh, what? that's what Aunt Faye
always say.

Listen well you know, she did
have that VIP membership to the
Forum Club.

- [Muffled chatter]
- Okay that's enough. In the
room.

[Laughter]

So what's up, you goin'
or not?

No, no. I need to stay
focused.

But thank you for the offers.
Love you sisters,

but I gotta get my fictional
gossip on today.

- Well alright.
- Alright.
- Yeah.

Well I guess it's just me and
you ole chummy wummy.

Oh when we're done, could you
please get in touch with your
daddy's side of the

family. See if you can get us
some tickets on the floor to the
Lakers game.

[Audience laughter]

Haven't enough Lakers
slam-dunked you already?

[Audience laughter]

I'm sorry sis.

Bye.

[Instrumental Music]

Look at you Devin, all grown
lookin' like a college man.

I bet you givin' all the college
ladies a run.

- No I do a'ight.
- You better be runnin' to that
library.

Oh.

Now why you get him started? I
knew I shoulda hung with my boy.

Boy relax. Look it's not
everyday you get to spend the
day with your pops.

Now look, one day all this could
be yours. Hm?

I thought you sent me to college
to do better in my life.

Keep it up and I'm gonna be
facin' life.

[Audience laughter]

Hey Melinda um I'm lookin' over
the schedule here and I do not
see the

appointment with Mr. Evans for
the apartment complex.

Oh that's cause we playin'
hardball but don't worry, Mr.
Stallworth. He'll break soon.

What, hardball? Wha wha wha what
you mean we?

I offered him a Tuesday
appointment and he said he was
busy.

So he gonna counter offer with a
Friday appointment at noon.

So I told him no!

Why are you playing games? My
schedule is open on Friday.
What's the problem?

The problem is Ihave a nail
appointment on Friday

He'll reschedule. Shun Lee
won't.

He better reschedule or your
schedule gonna be wide open.

[Audience laughter]

Hey, what's up, y'all?

Yo.
[Door closes]

Hah, well if it isn't

the girl of my dreams.

You better wake yo ass up.

[Audience laughter]

- Oh snap, what's up Devin?
- what's up Uncle D?

- How are you man?
- You know.

How them college girls treatin'
you?

Oh yeah. We'll talk when five-o
ain't around.

You fools ain't slick. I know
what you talkin' about, alright.
I ain't 50.

[Audience laughter]

And they call me the dumb one.

Hey Devin, how would you like to
go with me to Mid Ghetto Times?

It's this theme restaurant where
they reenact all these
historical gang fights

and the audience is served
government cheese and fried
bologna sandwiches.

I'm down. Cool.

The hell no you ain't.

Besides, we have plans. We goin'
to a ball game. You ready?

Do I have a choice?

Absolutely not. Bring yo ass.

- Catch you on the next one
Uncle D.
- Alright man.

[Sighs] Guess I'm rollin' Dolo.

I would invite you Melinda, but
I know that probably ain't your
thing.

No, not so fast. I heard this
place be crackin'.

Now is it true that they serve
barbecue sunflower seeds during
intermission?

It is! It is very true.

As a matter of fact you can wash
it down with red Kool-Aid
shooters.

Well why don't you just take me?

I ain't doin' nothin' tonight.

Whaaat? Melinda's finally givin'
in to the powers of the Don?

I knew you couldn't resist me
forever.

It's a damn shame it took fake
gang fights to finally bring us
together.

Boy! You barely made it out of
the friend zone.

[Audience laughter]

You better realize I'm a great
catch.

I ain't tryin' to catch what you
caught.

[Audience laughter]

You know what as a matter of
fact, never mind.

Okay okay look, I'm, I'm just
messin' around, alright?

Ah look,

if you go with me I promise to
not only show you a good time,

but I will be the perfect
gentleman.

What do you say?

Alright.

I guess it's the closest thing
I'm a get to seein' Hamilton.

Cool!

[Melinda exhales]
You got a helmet?

What?

Never mind. I'm a drive.

I ain't gettin' on the back of
nobody moped.

It's a scooter, dammit! A
scoot-ter.

Whatever it is, you too big to
be on it.

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

Hey,

So what did you and Devin do
after the ball game?

You know that boy caught a
Goober at halftime

so he can go catch up with his
little friends

or his "squad".

I must've walked all over that
stadium lookin' for his ass.

[Rustling]

Good mornin' my good people.

Now who said they don't like
gettin' doughnuts at work.

I stopped by and got 'em when
the "hot now" light was
flashin'.

Everybody likes doughnuts at
work Donnie. But the better
question is,

Why are you here?

Maybe Melinda can explain.

Well, me and Donnie had a bet
and he lost. Ah huh.

So he had to bring me some
doughnuts.

Hey D, are these the real velvet
ones you was tellin' me about?

Sprinkle, sprinkle.

[Laughter]

Sprinkle, sprinkle? D?

Okay, when did you two get on
nickname basis?

A long story short, D and I
bonded when we went to Mid
Ghetto Times last night.

Mr. Stallworth, you really
shoulda came with us.

It was crazy man. The big battle
at the end,

the red gang barely squeaked it
out.

But the big surprise twist is
when the Batterram came

and then the police showed up
and took everybody to jail in
the end.

Man it was so real.

It was like, I think they really
got arrested.

Yeah. It was dope Tone, man.

Me and M-Boogie was rollin' all
night.

Okay, what exactly were you and
M-Boogie rollin'?

Mr. Stallworth, you so crazy.

- Ooh, remember when that lady?
- And then that man

and then they both

[Laughter]

What the hell are y'all talkin'
about?

You shoulda been there Tone.

Razzamatazz.

Shaker, shaker, one-nine!

[Laugher]

[Donnie gasps]

[Melinda] Ah hah.

I have to use the ladies' room,
Mr. Stallworth. You'll give me
the key?

Ooh Donnie when I come back,
remind me about the grapes.

[Audience laughter]

You know what they say?

Peaches and cream!

[Laughter]

[Melinda laughing]

[Donnie] Ooh...ah ha ha ha.

Okay Donnie, a what's goin' on?

What'd you talk her into?

Nothin' Tone. We just had a
great time. You shoulda been
there.

I know what you up to Donnie.
And listen, Melinda

is off limits.

She works for me, man.

And? I don't see what the
problem is.

Ah I get it. You won't share
your home wife. Now you don't
want to share

your work wife. You are just
stingy Tony.

Donnie I'm serious. Now what
happens when she kicks you to
the curb

and you can no longer come over
here to the office to--

wait a minute, that's not a bad
idea.

Look man, I'm not tryin' to get
with Melinda

but I do know that we'll be good
friends.

- What are you jealous?
- [Scoffs]

Of Melinda? Please.

I don't know. You tell me, man.
This is real high school of ya.

All I'm sayin' is men and women
cannot be just friends

without it eventually goin' bad
in the end.

What are you talkin' about?

Do, look at Romeo and Juliet?

[Audience laughter]

They died. Bad example.

A but it is possible and I can
prove it to you.

[Door closes]

Mr. Stallworth I'mma walk down
to the Juice Hut and get us a
couple smoothies.

- Come with me friend.
- Hm hm, with pleasure.

You hear that Tone? Friend.

- Hold on. Let me get the door
for ya. Don't touch that.
- Oh.

My mama raised me better than
that. Come here, girl.

Oh she did!

Guh a hah ha!

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

So Professor Gentry, I am proud
to say I've

had over one thousand views
in a day!

Yeah, so I sent it to all my
friends and family to share.

[Male speaker]
It was very good Lisa. Those
characters you created

have some very interesting
lives. I look forward

seeing what happens with them
next. Keep up the great work.

Thank you. I will.

[Door bangs]
What the hell is this?

Can you please learn how to
knock?

I'm bout to knock the teeth out
yo mouth.

That's rude.

You have a gay female character
in your

blog who teases men and women to
get what she wants?

I'm talkin' bout Raquel.

- Yes!
- Oh and another character who's
some...

sassy, sexy cougar but can't
keep a man because she asks for
too much stuff.

As if there's such a thing.

Yes! Lorraine.

So y'all read my blog. What you,
what you think?

I think you think you slick.

Mm hm. How dare you put all of
our family

business out there for all your
readers to read on that stupid

- ...blog.
- What? What are you talkin'
about your business?

All of that is totally made up.

- Oh yeah? Totally made up?
- Yeah.

- Liza?
- Yeah and her 2 sisters...

who can't keep a husband because
they have daddy issues.

Oh but not Liza, the planned
one.

Mm hm.

Liza the perfect angel who had
to suppress her talent...

- ...to appease her round, rich,
dumb husband...
- Talent.

who just happened to catch a
lucky break.

- Tony's not dumb.
- [Lori scoffs]

Lisa!

Oh I thought we had company. I
didn't realize it was just

Cuba Gooding Cougar and Morris
Chest-hair.

[Audience laughter]

Whatever, Sugar daddy.

Oh, clearly you haven't read
your wife's latest blog

- cause you all up in it.
- He is not though.
- Mm hm.

Oh yeah? What about Antoine, the
smooth and handsome athlete?

Yeah, yeah Tony. So what's wrong
with that?

Oh that that that's good
actually, that's about on point.

But a what about this one here?

A right before she was about to
leave him,

he wins the mega pot in Vegas

Ha! See? There's definitely some
truth in that.

Anybody who reads this blog is
gonna know you're talking about
us.

No, no they won't. This is what
you call good, creative writing.
It's just

really simply a coincidence.

- [Overlapping voices[
- Coincidence?
- It's messed up.

- Mom, are you following me on
social media again?
- No honey.

- Why?
- Because you're doing so much.

And all don't want all my
friends in our family business.

- See. See.
- Ta ha, didn't I just say that.
- What are you...

talkin' about,
Devin?

- Like, like Devon.
- Mmm.

How he had to come back from
school early cause he's on
academic probation.

And how he came home and his
parents had turned his room into
a

- kinky love lounge.
- Oh no. Uh uh.

Like, yuck!

- Yuuuk! [Flapping tongue]
- I don't want to know about all
that.

- That's nasty.
- Yeah.

- Y'all gettin' your freak on.

- [Overlapping chatter]
- Alright. Okay, okaaaay!

[Audience laughter]

I will figure it out, alright.
No need to get all upset.

I will figure this thing out. I
just need to get some fresh air.

Yeah. I'm a need a padlock on my
door.

- Okay, you know I saw?.
- Daddy that's been, that's
nasty...

- ...For real? That's nasty.
- Things happen. Things happen.

- My room!
- No, we weren't--

[Tires screeching]

I still want the padlock on my
door.

[Audience laughter]

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

So Antoine has mornin' breath,
huh?

I thought you were

sleeping Tony.

Mm hm. I am but Antoine's not.

[Audience laughter]

Okay Tony I can assure you that
all the characters in my blog
are made up.

You sure about that Lisa?

Cause if not, I got some gossip
for you.

Donnie and Melinda went on a
date

and now they're supposedly good
friends.

What's wrong with that?

- You don't think that's
strange?
- No, they're both single.

Why, you jealous Tony?

You got a little ting ting for
your assistant?

[Audience laughter]

You askin' me or Antoine?

And don't put that in your blog,
Lisa.

Let's get back to the Donnie and
Melinda thing.

All I'm sayin' is, Donnie's is
gonna say somethin' dumb

and Melinda's gonna say
somethin' rude.

Yes, and how does their business
affect you in any way?

Donnie's gonna start stalkin'
her, Melinda's gonna tase him,

and I'm a get caught in the
middle.

[Audience laughter]

Whatever, okay. I've got my own
problems.

My sisters won't even talk to me
until I take the blog down.

that's all I had to do to get
He-Man and Skeletor to get out
of my castle?

[Audience laughter]

Hand me that computer. Let me
type up some stuff.

Are you still mad at me?

Depends.

- Does art imitate life?
- Not in this case.

I'm just making stuff up, okay?
Unlike Liza,

Lisais very satisfied with
Tony.

Oh okay, well let's work on
another chapter then.

You like a paperback or
hardcover?

[Tony snickering]

[Instrumental Music]

- Okay Tony, leave on the, not
on the--
- It dun look--

- [Lori clears throat] Hoa.
- [Muffled Tony and Lisa
chatter]

- Huh uh
- Uh oh.

What is this?

This is a mandatory family
meeting

led by your tall, attractive

tease of a sister.

Don't you mean your tall tease
of a brother?

What's up, people?

Me and Melinda were in the
neighborhood hiking and

figured we'd come over for
lunch.

Hiking? Uh, Donnie you've never
been hiking in your life.

I mean not since we met.

That's what I told Melinda.

And bein' the good friend that I
am, I took him hikin' for the
very first time

and you almost made it to the
top of the trail.

Oh wow, I'm impressed Donnie.

Okay now I know y'all datin'
cause Donnie don't work out for
nobody.

Hey man look, we're just
friends.

- Strictly friends, okay.
- Mm hm.

You hear that, Lisa?

Friends. The cling-on best
friend and the loud alley-rat
ninja turtle rat

- ...are just friends.
- Tell it. Tell it.

- See
- Mm hm.
- Wait a minute Lisa,

[Squealing] ...who are you
callin' loud!

Okay, you bout to be called
unemployed.

[Audience laughter]

- What she said.
- [Lori coughs]

Listen, I told y'all I was
writing, okay?

Creative fiction.

What's the creative expression.
You didn't even change my
character's name.

His name is Don. Last name, E.

[Overlapping shouting]

That is wack!

Now that's the problem right
there.

It's all about you.

- Stop!
- Nah nah no. A eh I juh--

Baby sis, I just don't
understand what made you think
it was okay to

- ...put our business in the
streets?
- Thank you.

The professor taught us to write
what we know.

He pushes us to create more
views because "views

pay dues." Hah, that's what he
said.

Eah, Ah I've gotten over a
hundred thousand views.

- [In unison] Whaaa?
- That's--
- Wow.

- That's reality star numbers
- Woa, baby girl.

He taught us how to monetize.

What's that mean?

Here.

What's that?

This is your cut from what I
made from the blog.

Oah, hush money.

- Well hush up and give me mine.
- Oh.

I mean it's not a lot but I
wasn't expecting anything so

You mean they pay you just to
make stuff up?

Yeah, somethin' like that.

But it's not worth havin' all of
you mad at me

so I will delete it.
[Rolling tongue]

[Overlapping voices]
- Wait, wait, wait, just just
hold.

Hold tight.

I'm tryin' to get some new
Jordans.

Would you like to hear a story
about how Devon threw a party

and got away with it?

This based on a true story?

Dad, Devon,not Devin.

Oh yeah and I got a lot of
stories about Raquel and all the

crazy girls she's been with.

And what if, what if Lorraine

goes through the hood keying up
all her exes cars and does not
get caught for it.

- Mm.
- Mm.
- Now that's Wonder Woman.

So wait, I'm really confused.

Ah wah, we didn't know that you
would get paid to exploit us.

So you mean to tell me all this
lil complainin' you guys did

since you made a little money,
everything's okay now?

- [Collectively] Yes!
- Basically, yeah.

- You catch on quick.
- Look we're tryin' to tell you

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

I can't believe I just had deep
fried Twinkies.

How did you find that place
anyway?

You'd be surprised what you
could find on the internet.

Found me a real special offer,

got it!

- Ah ha, well I guess that makes
you special then.
- [Laughter]

Nah, you're the special one.

I can't imagine why Tony
wouldn't want you and I

bein' friends.

Oh you know how he is. He like
to be in control a everythang.

Can you believe that he said
that this would end with us

not even gettin' along.

You know I'm really glad that we
decided to hang out the last few
days.

It's been really fun. I
underestimated you.

I've been tryin' to tell you
just cause I ain't got no money,
I'm still a good time.

[Laughter]

I'm jokin' but a

I'm glad too.

This is the moment where Tony
and I would

- ...fist bump to get out of
this moment.
- Mmm hm.

Well I'm a lady so

don't fist bump me.

Good.

[Audience cheering and clapping]

Look um Donnie,

I haven't had a male friend like
you in a very long time.

And, I don't really want to
mess this up.

Agreed.

Ah hah uh

we'll always have Razzamatazz.

[Audience laughter]

Shaker, shaker, one-nine.

[Laughter]

Just friends?

Just friends.

For now.

Yo.

Ah ha. A ha ha.

Is that a roach? I think I see--

[Audience laughter]

I see you two love birds are at
it again, huh?

Oh a nah man. We just friends.

It's the homie right here.

[Laughter]
Just friends havin' lunch.

- Yep...okay.
- Mm hm.

Ah yeah. Um I'm a

go ahead and roll.

Where you goin'?

I have to go--

To the--

the store with the books

to get me one and return it.

Yep.

But you can't even read, bruh.

[Audience laughter]

That's why I'm goin' to the
store!

[Laughter]

[Exhales]

He make a move on you yet?

Hmm?

Um, yep.

[Chuckling]

When is that brutha gonna
realize that he does not stand a
chance?

Right?!
[Laughter]

Crazy.

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]

[Instrumental Music]