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1
00:00:00,517 --> 00:00:03,658
[Instrumental Music]
2
00:00:05,695 --> 00:00:07,766
Devin, have you
seen my foot cream?
3
00:00:07,766 --> 00:00:10,838
Ah, damn that, when's the last
time you've seen the floor?
4
00:00:10,838 --> 00:00:14,531
What is going on in
here? Really?
5
00:00:14,531 --> 00:00:16,568
What the hell?
6
00:00:16,568 --> 00:00:18,984
Am I raising a teenage
boy or Swamp Thing?
7
00:00:18,984 --> 00:00:21,193
[Devin Yawns Loudly]
Oh!
8
00:00:21,193 --> 00:00:23,126
Sorry I asked.
9
00:00:23,126 --> 00:00:24,265
What's up pops?
10
00:00:24,265 --> 00:00:26,129
What's up is our clothes pile!
11
00:00:26,129 --> 00:00:28,545
Why's it look the damn L.A.
Riots happened up in here?
12
00:00:28,545 --> 00:00:30,582
Oh, this little clutter?
13
00:00:30,582 --> 00:00:31,893
I'll clean it later.
14
00:00:31,893 --> 00:00:33,067
But I gotta holla at you.
15
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:35,380
Mm-uh, do it from over
there, brah. Ooh!
16
00:00:35,380 --> 00:00:36,898
You need some deodorant.
17
00:00:36,898 --> 00:00:39,936
Whatever dad, I'ma take my
future bae to the school dance,
18
00:00:39,936 --> 00:00:41,455
I'ma need some bread.
19
00:00:41,455 --> 00:00:44,837
You want some bread? Here.
Try this right here.
Look it's green too.
20
00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:48,117
Just like money. You could
probably panini press a dead
president on this thing.
21
00:00:48,117 --> 00:00:49,842
C'mon Dad, I'm serious.
22
00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:52,121
Girls these days will curve
you if you ain't stuntin'.
23
00:00:52,121 --> 00:00:54,675
And I'ma need
to borrow the whip.
24
00:00:54,675 --> 00:00:57,609
Hmm. Here you go.
Knock yourself out.
25
00:00:57,609 --> 00:00:59,162
What, you's makin' some
whipped cream sandwiches?
26
00:00:59,645 --> 00:01:01,682
And I'ma need
some new clothes, 'cause
27
00:01:01,682 --> 00:01:03,442
I can't wear these old rags.
28
00:01:03,442 --> 00:01:04,512
I gotta be clean.
29
00:01:04,512 --> 00:01:05,962
I agree.
30
00:01:05,962 --> 00:01:08,102
You need some deodorant,
and start with some soap
and some water.
31
00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:10,242
Dad, not that kind of clean.
32
00:01:10,242 --> 00:01:12,313
Like, how they say it
in your day?
33
00:01:12,313 --> 00:01:15,420
Groovy, fresh, hip!
34
00:01:15,420 --> 00:01:17,594
Boy, how old do you think I am?
35
00:01:18,630 --> 00:01:20,390
Bible, huh? Oh you, you got
jokes?
36
00:01:20,390 --> 00:01:22,427
Alright, you know what
they say,
joke, stay broke
37
00:01:22,427 --> 00:01:23,911
C'mon Dad.
38
00:01:23,911 --> 00:01:25,188
C'mon nothin'!
39
00:01:25,188 --> 00:01:27,225
If this were a restaurant,
you'd have a D in the window.
40
00:01:27,570 --> 00:01:29,434
At least a
41
00:01:29,434 --> 00:01:30,883
And it stands for Devin.
42
00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:33,576
No, it stands for dirty,
disrespectful, and
downright disgusting.
43
00:01:33,576 --> 00:01:35,888
Now clean your room
before I clean your clock.
44
00:01:36,855 --> 00:01:38,374
Keep it up boy!
45
00:01:39,202 --> 00:01:40,962
Ah, here's my foot cream.
46
00:01:41,515 --> 00:01:42,412
Why is it empty?
47
00:01:42,412 --> 00:01:44,000
What have you
been using it-
48
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,175
Y'know what? I don't
even wanna know.
49
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:50,040
♪ Woke up and my wife said to me
50
00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,526
♪ The bill collectors
won't let me be
51
00:01:52,526 --> 00:01:54,907
♪ The kids keep talkin'
back to me
52
00:01:54,907 --> 00:01:56,564
♪ Family Time
53
00:01:56,564 --> 00:02:02,122
♪ Family Time, Family Time,
Family Time
54
00:02:07,989 --> 00:02:10,992
Ooh! What's that smell? I-
55
00:02:10,992 --> 00:02:14,444
Oh, you went in
Devin's room, didn't you?
56
00:02:14,444 --> 00:02:15,549
That bad huh?
57
00:02:15,549 --> 00:02:16,757
I might need a bath.
58
00:02:16,757 --> 00:02:19,656
I, actually, damn that. We
got any tomato sauce?
59
00:02:20,623 --> 00:02:24,144
Last time I went in
that boy's room, I almost got
stuck to the floor, Tony.
60
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,317
The things I saw...
61
00:02:25,317 --> 00:02:27,388
I mean I still have PTSD.
62
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:29,908
How did we raise
such a slob, Lisa?
63
00:02:29,908 --> 00:02:31,012
We?
64
00:02:31,012 --> 00:02:32,600
He get's that from your
side of the family.
65
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:34,844
And he's just... he's a
growing boy, Tony.
66
00:02:34,844 --> 00:02:36,225
He's just going
through a phase.
67
00:02:36,225 --> 00:02:37,329
A phase?
68
00:02:37,329 --> 00:02:39,055
A fetus is a phase.
69
00:02:39,055 --> 00:02:40,332
Toddler, that's a phase.
70
00:02:40,332 --> 00:02:41,644
Teenager, a phase.
71
00:02:41,644 --> 00:02:42,714
Ain't no funk phase!
72
00:02:42,714 --> 00:02:45,199
Well, your daughter
has a funky attitude.
73
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:47,719
She never cleans
these dishes Tony.
74
00:02:47,719 --> 00:02:50,584
Why would she? She knows
that you're just gonna
go do 'em for her.
75
00:02:50,584 --> 00:02:52,862
These kids need to
learn some responsibility.
76
00:02:52,862 --> 00:02:55,244
One day they gon' be
responsible for cleaning us,
77
00:02:55,244 --> 00:02:57,694
and I don't want to be
walking around smelling
like an old farm animal.
78
00:02:57,694 --> 00:02:59,006
You're right. You're
right about that.
79
00:02:59,006 --> 00:03:00,421
I know I'm right.
80
00:03:00,421 --> 00:03:02,285
These kids don't
respect our house and
they don't respect us.
81
00:03:02,285 --> 00:03:03,873
They have entitlement issues.
82
00:03:03,873 --> 00:03:05,564
Man, they walk around like
they own the damn place.
83
00:03:07,256 --> 00:03:08,602
Oh, hey Lisa.
84
00:03:08,602 --> 00:03:11,087
Hey Tony, I'm so glad-
oh my God!
85
00:03:11,087 --> 00:03:13,020
What's that smell?
86
00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:15,471
Which one of you two
went into Devin's room?
87
00:03:16,748 --> 00:03:17,818
Dammit!
88
00:03:17,818 --> 00:03:19,509
- Where is that
tomato sauce?
- Whoo!
89
00:03:20,061 --> 00:03:21,891
What brings you by, Viv?
90
00:03:21,891 --> 00:03:24,928
Well Todd and I had
tickets to an MMA fight,
but he once
91
00:03:24,928 --> 00:03:26,861
again got called
away on business.
92
00:03:26,861 --> 00:03:29,312
Hey Tony, you wouldn't be
interested in going, would you?
93
00:03:29,312 --> 00:03:30,520
Uh, no, thanks.
94
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:33,385
I get enough blood sport
watching Lisa shave her legs.
95
00:03:33,385 --> 00:03:36,526
MMA, Viv, really? That's a
brutal sport.
96
00:03:36,526 --> 00:03:37,907
How'd you get
into that?
97
00:03:37,907 --> 00:03:42,187
Well Todd was watching
one day, and something
about two men,
98
00:03:42,187 --> 00:03:44,431
all sweaty, beating the
crap out of each other, just
99
00:03:44,431 --> 00:03:46,709
really brings the beast
out of me.
100
00:03:46,709 --> 00:03:47,917
Well, I wouldn't mind
going,
101
00:03:47,917 --> 00:03:50,506
if Tony doesn't mind
washing the dishes for me.
102
00:03:50,506 --> 00:03:51,748
Do I have a choice?
103
00:03:51,748 --> 00:03:52,508
No.
104
00:03:52,508 --> 00:03:54,199
- Then have fun!
- Thank you!
105
00:03:54,199 --> 00:03:57,098
- Love you baby! Bye!
- See ya.
106
00:03:58,341 --> 00:04:00,136
Oh, there's my baby girl.
107
00:04:00,136 --> 00:04:02,621
Hey Daddy-
oh, my goodness!
108
00:04:02,621 --> 00:04:05,037
You went room, didn't you?
109
00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:08,351
You know I went in there to
borrow a pencil one time and
I saw his dirty underwear.
110
00:04:08,351 --> 00:04:09,870
Mm! Sorry you had
to see that.
111
00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:13,183
I will never buy him
white drawers ever again.
112
00:04:13,183 --> 00:04:14,150
Uh... wha- baby,
where you going?
113
00:04:14,150 --> 00:04:16,221
Um, I have a project
to do with Sergio.
114
00:04:16,221 --> 00:04:17,360
Who the hell is Sergio?
115
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:19,431
Oh, just this boy
from school.
116
00:04:19,431 --> 00:04:20,984
I don't like
the sound of that.
117
00:04:20,984 --> 00:04:23,228
But wait, before you go, I
have a surprise.
118
00:04:23,228 --> 00:04:24,954
We got a brand new
dishwasher for you.
119
00:04:24,954 --> 00:04:25,989
Oh really? What kind?
120
00:04:25,989 --> 00:04:27,543
You. The Ebony 2000.
121
00:04:27,543 --> 00:04:29,130
Now didn't your mamma tell
you to wash these dishes?
122
00:04:29,130 --> 00:04:29,855
But Sergio!
123
00:04:29,855 --> 00:04:31,547
Yeah, but Sergio nothin'.
124
00:04:31,547 --> 00:04:34,895
Now Serge your hands into this
dishwater and bust these suds.
125
00:04:34,895 --> 00:04:36,724
But Dad, I have
to get started!
126
00:04:36,724 --> 00:04:39,244
I want to do a good job
so Sergio can have me
as his partner.
127
00:04:39,244 --> 00:04:41,729
Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. You
ain't partnering with
no Sergio,
128
00:04:41,729 --> 00:04:44,387
no Georgio, and for
damn sure no Lorenzo's.
129
00:04:44,387 --> 00:04:46,941
Won't be no male exotic
dancer names up in my house!
130
00:04:46,941 --> 00:04:47,563
But dad!
131
00:04:47,563 --> 00:04:48,909
But dad nothing!
132
00:04:48,909 --> 00:04:50,807
Now come on over here
and partner this dish rag
133
00:04:50,807 --> 00:04:52,395
with some of this
dish soap, okay?
134
00:04:52,395 --> 00:04:54,294
Now what I need you- what?
135
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,778
Little heifer!
136
00:04:55,778 --> 00:04:57,745
[Instrumental Music]
137
00:04:58,643 --> 00:04:59,678
[Instrumental Music]
138
00:04:59,678 --> 00:05:02,474
[Doorbell Rings]
139
00:05:02,474 --> 00:05:04,269
Oh.
140
00:05:05,615 --> 00:05:07,203
She-Hulk. You strong
as hell!
141
00:05:07,203 --> 00:05:11,518
Hm! Not as strong as that
thick-ass neck supporting
that astro-dome you got.
142
00:05:11,518 --> 00:05:12,967
Now where's my sister?
143
00:05:12,967 --> 00:05:17,282
Lisa and I have a laser
mustache removal appointment.
144
00:05:17,282 --> 00:05:18,697
Hmm, you're obviously
runnin' late,
145
00:05:18,697 --> 00:05:20,665
Looks like a tarantula
crawled out your nose.
146
00:05:20,665 --> 00:05:21,907
[Laughter]
147
00:05:21,907 --> 00:05:25,980
Shut up you over grown
troll. Where is my
sister?
148
00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:28,189
Her and Vivian went to go
watch MMA.
149
00:05:28,189 --> 00:05:30,053
MMA? What the hell is that?
150
00:05:30,053 --> 00:05:32,401
Mothers of Mixed
Children Association?
151
00:05:32,401 --> 00:05:34,092
It's Mixed Martial Arts.
152
00:05:34,092 --> 00:05:37,164
Or in your case,
Monsters Men Avoid.
153
00:05:37,164 --> 00:05:40,029
Oh shut up Tony. What is
going on?
154
00:05:40,029 --> 00:05:43,135
Why is Lisa hanging out with
Vivian so much?
155
00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,999
I mean what, is she
looking for a co-signer?
156
00:05:44,999 --> 00:05:47,243
This is the fourth
time this month.
157
00:05:47,243 --> 00:05:48,865
Who does she think she is?
158
00:05:48,865 --> 00:05:51,523
Nobody cancels on me!
159
00:05:51,523 --> 00:05:53,214
Well there was your
first husband, Tyrone.
160
00:05:53,214 --> 00:05:54,733
Your second husband, Jerome.
161
00:05:54,733 --> 00:05:56,252
And your ex fiancé, Malone,
162
00:05:56,252 --> 00:05:57,978
who left you at
the altar, alone.
163
00:05:57,978 --> 00:06:03,432
And you can kiss where the
sun don't roam.
[Whimpers]
164
00:06:03,432 --> 00:06:04,640
Woman what are you doing?
165
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,711
I'm staying here
166
00:06:08,057 --> 00:06:09,852
Oh, no, no, no.
You are watching me
walk the hell away.
167
00:06:09,852 --> 00:06:12,648
Add me to the list of
people canceling on you.
168
00:06:13,062 --> 00:06:16,376
[Instrumental Music]
169
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,586
Oh, I loved it.
I loved all the guys.
170
00:06:19,586 --> 00:06:22,140
You were takin'
pictures of their booties.
171
00:06:23,141 --> 00:06:24,073
Lori!
172
00:06:24,073 --> 00:06:26,247
No Keith Sweat, don't go!
173
00:06:26,247 --> 00:06:28,629
I can make it last
forever! I-
174
00:06:28,629 --> 00:06:29,941
[yells] Lori!
175
00:06:29,941 --> 00:06:33,945
You still have that stupid crush
on Keith Sweat begging ass?
176
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,362
Where you been? Hmm?!
177
00:06:37,362 --> 00:06:39,537
- What do you mean?
- We had an appointment.
178
00:06:39,537 --> 00:06:42,471
You're right! You're right.
Vivian popped up and it just
179
00:06:42,471 --> 00:06:44,990
it really completely
slipped my mind. I'm sorry.
180
00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:47,372
Oh I, you know, I'm sorry Lori.
Yeah, you can blame me.
181
00:06:47,372 --> 00:06:49,685
Oh, but I do!
182
00:06:49,685 --> 00:06:53,447
You might've been able to
get Tony's brother, but I'll
be damned if
183
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:57,831
I let you use youron my little sister!
184
00:06:57,831 --> 00:07:00,316
She doesn't even
drink tea!
185
00:07:00,316 --> 00:07:03,146
You know what, that was
a good movie. I just
got it on bootleg.
186
00:07:03,146 --> 00:07:04,803
Hey, Lisa, my house
tomorrow. You in?
187
00:07:04,803 --> 00:07:06,391
No, she's out.
188
00:07:06,391 --> 00:07:10,050
Hey, hey, listen okay Lori?
I am grown. I speak
for myself, thank you.
189
00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:13,467
I was just thinkin', you
know, me and you could
go get our nails done-
190
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:16,332
You know what? Lori, I know
this great place in Korea
Town, we have to go!
191
00:07:16,332 --> 00:07:20,163
What don't you get?
There's no we!
192
00:07:20,163 --> 00:07:22,752
There is a "we".
193
00:07:22,752 --> 00:07:29,069
And no offense, but I would
just like to spend some
quality time with my sister.
194
00:07:29,069 --> 00:07:30,657
Alright, okay, that makes sense.
195
00:07:30,657 --> 00:07:35,178
But, um, technically she's
my sister too, so that
makes us all sisters.
196
00:07:35,178 --> 00:07:37,871
[Grumbles] You ain't
never gonna be
nobody's sister.
197
00:07:38,561 --> 00:07:41,599
Oh. Oh, I get it,
it's a black thing.
198
00:07:41,599 --> 00:07:43,773
No, no, she didn't
mean it like that Vivian.
199
00:07:43,773 --> 00:07:45,741
Yes I did!
200
00:07:46,224 --> 00:07:48,468
You know what, I'm just
gonna go back to the
other side of the
201
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,262
tracks and watch
Sound of Music
202
00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,333
Well, Yodel-lei-he-ho!
203
00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:54,681
And I'm gonna bust out my
Neil Diamond records
204
00:07:54,681 --> 00:07:56,476
and I'm gonna do
some line dancing!
205
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,961
No Vivian, Vivian don't
take her seriously!
206
00:07:58,961 --> 00:07:59,996
Every single time!
207
00:07:59,996 --> 00:08:02,205
Namaste Viv!
Namaste!
208
00:08:02,205 --> 00:08:07,487
And where I'm from we
call it steppin' so get to
steppin!
209
00:08:08,039 --> 00:08:11,076
[Instrumental Music]
210
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,013
Good morning Tony.
211
00:08:17,013 --> 00:08:18,325
You mean good afternoon.
212
00:08:18,325 --> 00:08:19,947
What was you gonna do,
sleep all day?
213
00:08:19,947 --> 00:08:23,813
I'm just tired! Tony, Lori had
me out at some old
ratchety club all night.
214
00:08:23,813 --> 00:08:25,056
Woo, I need some coffee.
215
00:08:25,056 --> 00:08:26,436
Uh yeah, you won't
be able to get in there.
216
00:08:26,436 --> 00:08:27,610
I locked the cabinets.
217
00:08:27,610 --> 00:08:29,750
It's all a part of my plan
called "tough love".
218
00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:31,372
These kids need to
learn some responsibility.
219
00:08:31,372 --> 00:08:33,202
Okay, I don't follow Tony.
220
00:08:33,202 --> 00:08:35,342
Right on cue.
Just follow my lead.
221
00:08:35,342 --> 00:08:36,619
Hey mom, hey dad.
222
00:08:36,619 --> 00:08:38,759
Hey! Hey, uh, how
was school?
223
00:08:38,759 --> 00:08:41,693
You know, same old.
Just failed a test.
224
00:08:41,693 --> 00:08:44,247
Uh, and uh, you?
225
00:08:44,662 --> 00:08:48,424
Oh, sorry mom, I was posting
something on FaceSpace
but school was good.
226
00:08:48,424 --> 00:08:50,702
Hey mom, can you
make me a snack?
227
00:08:50,702 --> 00:08:53,291
'Cause I'm about to
go to my room
and take a nap.
228
00:08:53,291 --> 00:08:55,327
But, can you ease
up on the dijon?
229
00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:57,709
'Cause last time you
was doin' way too much.
230
00:08:57,709 --> 00:09:00,056
There will be no snacks.
231
00:09:00,056 --> 00:09:01,506
Oh cool, we
going out to dinner?
232
00:09:01,506 --> 00:09:03,059
Nope, but you are.
233
00:09:03,888 --> 00:09:06,269
I don't get it,
I'm going to my room.
234
00:09:06,269 --> 00:09:09,652
You will find that your
indoor access has
been denied.
235
00:09:09,652 --> 00:09:12,759
There is a padlock on your
door until further notice.
236
00:09:12,759 --> 00:09:14,623
Dang. You did
him like that?
237
00:09:14,623 --> 00:09:17,142
Oh, uh, you too,
Little Miss Thing.
238
00:09:17,142 --> 00:09:18,178
Right?
239
00:09:18,178 --> 00:09:20,214
C- c'mon Dad I gotta
get in my room!
240
00:09:20,214 --> 00:09:23,148
I only got one day
left before my
pastrami's salami.
241
00:09:23,148 --> 00:09:24,529
No worries.
242
00:09:24,529 --> 00:09:27,843
I made you a box
lunch, just like you
leave under your bed.
243
00:09:27,843 --> 00:09:29,430
It's blue.
244
00:09:29,430 --> 00:09:31,363
There's your snack.
245
00:09:31,881 --> 00:09:33,089
That's cold.
246
00:09:33,089 --> 00:09:35,333
Not as cold as
it is outside.
247
00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:37,956
Well I gotta go upstairs
to get my phone charger.
248
00:09:37,956 --> 00:09:40,614
I guess I could grab
the bolt cutters and open
your room up.
249
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:43,065
But I'm not doing that for
no spoiled-ass teenagers.
250
00:09:43,065 --> 00:09:44,929
Mom, I know you're not
going along with this.
251
00:09:44,929 --> 00:09:47,863
Listen, It's called tough
love, right babe?
252
00:09:47,863 --> 00:09:50,072
Now your mother and I have
took the liberty of making
253
00:09:50,072 --> 00:09:52,315
alternate sleeping
arrangements for you.
254
00:09:52,315 --> 00:09:54,524
So outside you'll find a tent.
255
00:09:55,111 --> 00:09:56,043
And?
256
00:09:56,043 --> 00:09:57,320
That's it. Outside
there's a tent.
257
00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,978
If you ain't taking out,
cleaning out or washing
out,
258
00:09:59,978 --> 00:10:01,290
you sleeping out.
259
00:10:01,290 --> 00:10:03,292
This is a cruel and
unusual punishment.
260
00:10:03,292 --> 00:10:04,949
Well then the shoe
fits, because you are crude
261
00:10:04,949 --> 00:10:06,847
and unusual pubescents.
262
00:10:07,503 --> 00:10:09,401
I don't even know what
that means, but
263
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:11,300
come on Ebony, we got
this.
264
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:12,197
Yeah, you're right.
265
00:10:12,197 --> 00:10:14,821
Let me grab some
food for the road.
266
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,134
Access Denied.
267
00:10:18,134 --> 00:10:19,860
You're not letting us
eat either?
268
00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:22,380
Oh we tried to give you food,
we really did, but you
wouldn't clean the dishes.
269
00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:24,140
Or you'd leave it
all in your room.
270
00:10:24,140 --> 00:10:27,005
So now you sleep on
the land, and eat off it too.
271
00:10:27,005 --> 00:10:29,283
Well played, Judas.
272
00:10:30,181 --> 00:10:32,632
Betrayed by our own
parents.
273
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,392
You betrayed us first by
not doin' your chores.
274
00:10:34,392 --> 00:10:35,704
Now get outside.
I'm tired of looking at'cha.
275
00:10:35,704 --> 00:10:37,153
What if we
have to take a shower?
276
00:10:37,153 --> 00:10:40,950
The sprinklers
come on at 8 P.M. sharp.
277
00:10:41,571 --> 00:10:44,851
C'mon Ebony. We don't
need their house, anyway.
278
00:10:44,851 --> 00:10:47,267
Yeah. It'll be like
summer camp...
279
00:10:47,267 --> 00:10:48,509
in the winter.
280
00:10:48,509 --> 00:10:50,960
Except without Dad
ruining my sweater.
281
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,306
I told you, that
only happened
282
00:10:52,306 --> 00:10:54,999
because your mama didn't
bring no toilet paper.
283
00:10:55,482 --> 00:10:58,450
Ooh, this may
backfire, Tony.
284
00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:00,590
Not a chance.
Now I need a drink.
285
00:11:01,143 --> 00:11:03,214
Long day!
Awe dang it!
286
00:11:03,214 --> 00:11:04,664
Lisa, grab the bolt cutters.
287
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,251
[Instrumental Music]
288
00:11:07,908 --> 00:11:12,188
[Instrumental Music]
289
00:11:12,361 --> 00:11:15,847
Ooh! Okay. Alright Lori,
I'ma, I'm just catch
up with you later-
290
00:11:15,847 --> 00:11:17,090
Why are you rushing me?
291
00:11:17,090 --> 00:11:19,575
I didn't say I was leaving...
292
00:11:20,196 --> 00:11:23,096
Am I detecting a
a bit of an attitude in
you?
293
00:11:23,096 --> 00:11:25,167
What, you didn't
have a good time?
294
00:11:25,167 --> 00:11:29,067
Mm-hmm. I thought you
and Vivian were all
into the mud thing.
295
00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:33,382
Wait no I said Vivian took
me to a mud bath, not
mud wrestling.
296
00:11:33,382 --> 00:11:35,073
There's a difference.
297
00:11:35,073 --> 00:11:38,939
Mud Bath, MMA wrestling. I
just put 'em together and
gave you Mud wrestling.
298
00:11:38,939 --> 00:11:41,390
When did you
become so bougie?
299
00:11:41,390 --> 00:11:45,532
Lori, I'm tired. I'm tired from
bein' up in the ratchety
ass club all night.
300
00:11:45,532 --> 00:11:47,499
If one more dude woulda
come up to me talkin' 'bout
301
00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:50,502
"aight girl, aight, where
your man at, girl?"
302
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,297
"Where your man at, girl?"
303
00:11:52,297 --> 00:11:54,092
I was gonna hurt somebody!
304
00:11:54,092 --> 00:11:59,511
I'm sorry, how was I supposed
to know last night was
the Annual Player's Ball?
305
00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:03,964
Look, I promise you
tonight is gonna be
a lot more fun.
306
00:12:03,964 --> 00:12:04,896
Tonight?
307
00:12:04,896 --> 00:12:07,002
Yes! I'm taking you
to the casino!
308
00:12:07,002 --> 00:12:09,936
Girl they got a new Luther
Vandross impersonator.
309
00:12:09,936 --> 00:12:13,180
And I heard he does
Luther big...
[Makes Warbling Noise]
310
00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:15,907
And skinny!
[Makes Warbling Noise]
311
00:12:15,907 --> 00:12:18,979
[Mimics Warble ]
No, no, no, no!
312
00:12:18,979 --> 00:12:20,670
I'm gonna pass it.
I'm gonna pass.
313
00:12:20,670 --> 00:12:21,775
- Please, no you're not.
- Yes, I'ma pass!
314
00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:23,673
I'm gonna go home, get
up out of all this mud,
315
00:12:23,673 --> 00:12:25,365
and I'll be back to
pick you up around nine.
316
00:12:25,365 --> 00:12:27,263
Did you not here me?
I'm going to pass.
317
00:12:27,263 --> 00:12:30,128
Whu-whu-whu. Why is
it so quiet in here?
318
00:12:30,128 --> 00:12:32,234
Do you know where
your children are?
319
00:12:32,234 --> 00:12:36,134
Yeah, long story. See Tony
and I we're trying to show
the kids tough love.
320
00:12:36,134 --> 00:12:38,171
How so?
321
00:12:38,171 --> 00:12:39,517
[Growling]
322
00:12:39,517 --> 00:12:40,311
Devin, what was that?
323
00:12:40,311 --> 00:12:41,450
What was what?
324
00:12:41,450 --> 00:12:42,037
[Growl]
325
00:12:42,037 --> 00:12:43,763
That!
326
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,800
Oh my God, Devin, in case
we die, I love you.
327
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:50,735
Ebony, in case we die, I'm
sorry for every mean
thing I've done to you.
328
00:12:50,735 --> 00:12:52,047
[Growling Gets Louder]
329
00:12:52,047 --> 00:12:54,290
Oh God, we're gonna die!
What should we do?
330
00:12:55,257 --> 00:12:57,466
Our Father, who art
in heaven-
331
00:12:57,466 --> 00:13:00,158
I ain't in heaven yet, but
I am in this backyard.
332
00:13:00,158 --> 00:13:02,057
Dad that is so mean!
333
00:13:02,057 --> 00:13:03,955
Oh, you think that's
mean? Watch this...
334
00:13:03,955 --> 00:13:05,888
And action.
335
00:13:05,888 --> 00:13:07,925
Hello everybody out there
in the FaceSpace world.
336
00:13:07,925 --> 00:13:10,720
We are broadcasting live from
the Stallworth's backyard
337
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,827
with a brand new edition of
338
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:17,727
Oh, I'm live streaming.
339
00:13:17,727 --> 00:13:19,488
And what do we have here?
340
00:13:19,488 --> 00:13:22,732
We have a wild Devin
and Ebony in their
natural habitat.
341
00:13:22,732 --> 00:13:24,942
They live like animals, so
we're treating them like that.
342
00:13:24,942 --> 00:13:26,840
Dad, get that
thing out of my face!
343
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,462
I will do no such thing!
344
00:13:28,462 --> 00:13:32,432
Devin and Ebony are
sleeping in the backyard
because they got evicted.
345
00:13:32,432 --> 00:13:34,710
Oh, uh, Janice
says hi, Ebony.
346
00:13:34,710 --> 00:13:36,194
My friend, Janice
from school?
347
00:13:36,194 --> 00:13:37,230
You do not know her.
348
00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:38,334
I do now.
349
00:13:38,334 --> 00:13:39,542
I befriended all your
friends on FaceSpace.
350
00:13:39,542 --> 00:13:41,510
[Both] What?!
351
00:13:41,510 --> 00:13:45,963
Mm-hmm. Uh, let's see. Sergio
says "Hey Ebony, why didn't
you tell me you were homeless."
352
00:13:45,963 --> 00:13:49,863
And uh, Devin, Lance
says "aaaaahhhhaahaaa?"
353
00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:50,968
Oh, I get it. He's
laughing at you.
354
00:13:50,968 --> 00:13:52,383
Ahahaha!
355
00:13:52,383 --> 00:13:54,005
Man, I can't believe this.
356
00:13:54,005 --> 00:13:56,180
Mm-hmm. And I can't believe
you are sleeping in a tent.
357
00:13:56,180 --> 00:13:58,423
What is that smell? It smells
like something died.
358
00:13:58,423 --> 00:13:59,355
It must be your dinner.
359
00:13:59,355 --> 00:14:01,702
Don't listen to
this crazy stranger!
360
00:14:01,702 --> 00:14:04,050
Yeah, he's
definitely not our dad.
361
00:14:04,050 --> 00:14:07,156
So Remember FaceSpacers, for
just five cents a day,
362
00:14:07,156 --> 00:14:10,332
you too can feed a poor
unfortunate Stallworth child.
363
00:14:10,332 --> 00:14:14,129
And help them find a new
home, to wallow in
funky nastiness.
364
00:14:14,129 --> 00:14:16,821
Dad, please stop.
365
00:14:16,994 --> 00:14:18,133
Now why would you do that?
366
00:14:18,133 --> 00:14:19,962
To teach you guys to
appreciate what you have.
367
00:14:19,962 --> 00:14:21,619
Don't worry, you'll
thank me one day.
368
00:14:21,619 --> 00:14:23,448
Now you can check
back in your
rooms in the morning.
369
00:14:23,448 --> 00:14:24,829
Naw, we cool.
370
00:14:24,829 --> 00:14:26,451
We don't need your
house no way.
371
00:14:26,451 --> 00:14:28,108
Yeah, we don't
like it anyway!
372
00:14:28,108 --> 00:14:29,178
Alright.
373
00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:34,114
Big fella likes to play games,
huh? We can play
his little game.
374
00:14:34,114 --> 00:14:37,911
Mm-hmm. I kinda like it
out here. Reminds me
of when we used to-
375
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:39,016
[Growling]
376
00:14:39,016 --> 00:14:40,258
What was that?!
377
00:14:40,258 --> 00:14:41,984
You know what it was.
378
00:14:41,984 --> 00:14:44,607
[calling out]
Dad, stop playing!
379
00:14:44,607 --> 00:14:45,643
What was that?
380
00:14:45,643 --> 00:14:47,679
[Screaming]
381
00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:49,509
[Instrumental Music]
382
00:14:49,509 --> 00:14:51,718
[Doorbell Rings]
383
00:14:56,274 --> 00:14:57,586
Dad! What are you
doing here?
384
00:14:57,586 --> 00:15:00,520
Came to check on my grandkids,
after you traumatized them.
385
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,280
Oh, they told you
what I did, huh?
386
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:03,626
Pretty funny, huh?
387
00:15:03,626 --> 00:15:08,010
No, nope nope. Woop,
woop, wuh. No,
I saw it on FaceSpace.
388
00:15:08,010 --> 00:15:10,910
How dare you humiliate
those kids like that.
389
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,050
Dad I was just trying
to teach them a lesson.
390
00:15:13,050 --> 00:15:14,327
You call that
teaching them a lesson?
391
00:15:14,327 --> 00:15:16,708
Embarrassing them in front
of their little friends?
392
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:17,364
Dad, I was just-
393
00:15:17,364 --> 00:15:18,503
But, but, but nothing!
394
00:15:18,503 --> 00:15:21,334
Your room was just as
junky when you were a kid.
395
00:15:21,334 --> 00:15:23,370
And don't act like you don't
remember all those liquor
396
00:15:23,370 --> 00:15:28,582
store pickles you used to let
spoil in your room, funking up
my house!
397
00:15:28,582 --> 00:15:30,067
Dad, those kids are
being irresponsible!
398
00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:32,103
Have you see Devin's
room lately?
399
00:15:32,103 --> 00:15:34,623
I wouldn't be surprised
if there was a family
of possums living in there!
400
00:15:34,623 --> 00:15:37,522
Son, I understand,
but it's just a phase.
401
00:15:37,522 --> 00:15:38,696
You too?!
402
00:15:38,696 --> 00:15:40,663
- Look, a fetus is a phase-
- Son, son, shut up!
403
00:15:40,663 --> 00:15:41,871
Yes sir.
404
00:15:41,871 --> 00:15:43,701
It's alright
to discipline them.
405
00:15:43,701 --> 00:15:46,186
You remember what I
used to tell you boys
when you were kids?
406
00:15:46,186 --> 00:15:48,464
Stop crying before I give
you something to cry
about?
407
00:15:48,464 --> 00:15:50,466
Yes.
408
00:15:51,191 --> 00:15:53,538
What happens in this house,
stays in this house.
409
00:15:54,125 --> 00:15:56,507
Okay dad, I see your
point. I see your point.
410
00:15:57,163 --> 00:15:58,750
I'll go apologize.
411
00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:00,373
But quick question, um,
412
00:16:00,373 --> 00:16:02,375
how long have you been
on FaceSpace?
413
00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:05,585
Well that's another thing I
used to tell you boys
when you were kids.
414
00:16:06,379 --> 00:16:08,622
Stay out of grown
folks business.
415
00:16:09,830 --> 00:16:12,661
[Instrumental Music]
416
00:16:13,731 --> 00:16:15,388
So you broke down the tent?
417
00:16:15,388 --> 00:16:17,838
Yeah, I was thinking maybe
we could have a little
camp out in the bedroom.
418
00:16:17,838 --> 00:16:19,875
Plus, I think I was a
little hard on the kids.
419
00:16:19,875 --> 00:16:21,187
You spoke to
your father, huh?
420
00:16:21,187 --> 00:16:22,705
Yeah, I did.
421
00:16:22,705 --> 00:16:24,604
I already apologized
to the kids though.
422
00:16:24,604 --> 00:16:26,744
Well, whatever you said
must've worked, because
423
00:16:26,744 --> 00:16:28,815
Devin is in his room
cleaning up.
424
00:16:28,815 --> 00:16:32,163
And Ebony is studying with some
older student named Sergio.
425
00:16:32,163 --> 00:16:32,750
Say what?
426
00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:33,751
[Laughing]
427
00:16:33,751 --> 00:16:35,166
Just kidding.
She's washing the dishes.
428
00:16:35,166 --> 00:16:37,927
- Oh. well at least that
problem's solved.
- Yeah.
429
00:16:37,927 --> 00:16:39,481
Uh oh.
430
00:16:39,481 --> 00:16:40,827
I'm here, Lisa.
431
00:16:40,827 --> 00:16:43,968
Yeah, and ready to get
our roller derby on? Ha!
432
00:16:43,968 --> 00:16:47,213
I see. I see. Um, but
yeah, about that. Uh-
433
00:16:47,213 --> 00:16:49,905
Alright I'm here Lisa!
I'm ready!
434
00:16:49,905 --> 00:16:52,045
[BOTH]
What is she doing here?
435
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:54,047
That's my cue to leave.
436
00:16:54,910 --> 00:17:01,537
Uh, uh, okay, so, yeah, I uh,
I brought you both here
because I need you to realize
437
00:17:01,537 --> 00:17:05,576
that we're family and
you're both important to me.
438
00:17:05,576 --> 00:17:09,131
And you actually have
a lot more in common
than you realize.
439
00:17:09,131 --> 00:17:10,374
Oh yeah?
Like what?
440
00:17:10,374 --> 00:17:13,273
Well, you're both very
passionate spirits.
441
00:17:13,273 --> 00:17:16,794
You know what? I'll reserve my
passion for eating
mayonnaise sandwiches
442
00:17:16,794 --> 00:17:18,727
and listening to Barry Manilow!
443
00:17:18,727 --> 00:17:23,007
Are you still on that?
I like Barry Manilow.
444
00:17:23,007 --> 00:17:26,459
I don't have a problem
with you being white.
445
00:17:26,459 --> 00:17:30,808
My problem is with you
trying to steal my baby
sister.
446
00:17:30,808 --> 00:17:34,467
Is that what you think?
I wasn't trying to
steal Lisa.
447
00:17:34,467 --> 00:17:37,228
It's just that I don't have
any close family, and Todd's
448
00:17:37,228 --> 00:17:39,368
been away on
business a lot lately, and
449
00:17:39,368 --> 00:17:43,338
I've been a little lonely, and
I guess she's the
best friend I have.
450
00:17:43,338 --> 00:17:44,994
I guess...
451
00:17:45,409 --> 00:17:48,446
I just lost
another fiancé.
452
00:17:48,446 --> 00:17:52,174
And Rachel's been busy
with her new girlfriend.
453
00:17:52,450 --> 00:17:54,211
I'm lonely too.
454
00:17:54,763 --> 00:17:58,007
See, you both been so
busy shouting off insults,
when you
455
00:17:58,007 --> 00:18:00,320
really could've been
there for each other.
456
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,115
You're so right.
457
00:18:02,529 --> 00:18:06,637
I guess I'm just not used to
sharing my littlest sister
with anyone.
458
00:18:06,637 --> 00:18:09,157
And I'm sorry about that.
459
00:18:09,157 --> 00:18:12,815
This one is the glue that
keeps our family together.
460
00:18:13,575 --> 00:18:16,405
Yeah she sure is.
461
00:18:16,405 --> 00:18:21,134
You know, [Stammering] I
could have been more
understanding, too.
462
00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:22,791
What do you say?
463
00:18:22,791 --> 00:18:23,895
Bury the hatchet?
464
00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:25,759
Bring it in,
Katie Couric.
465
00:18:25,759 --> 00:18:27,313
Oh, bring it in, Cookie!
466
00:18:27,313 --> 00:18:30,523
[All Laughing]
467
00:18:30,523 --> 00:18:33,595
Oh, whoa! Oh, oh, okay,
I got it, I got it, I got it.
468
00:18:33,595 --> 00:18:35,321
Okay, be careful.
You good?
469
00:18:35,321 --> 00:18:36,253
- Okay, we're good.
- I got it.
470
00:18:36,253 --> 00:18:37,495
You're alright, you're good!
471
00:18:37,495 --> 00:18:39,325
Woo! We can be
one big happy family!
472
00:18:39,325 --> 00:18:42,776
[All Talking at Once]
473
00:18:45,054 --> 00:18:46,884
Lori, I didn't know
you were a roller.
474
00:18:46,884 --> 00:18:48,196
Oh honey for years!
475
00:18:48,196 --> 00:18:51,371
It's just something about
knocking into husky
women that
476
00:18:51,371 --> 00:18:53,166
brings out the
beast in me.
477
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:56,273
Oh, I can see! I know I
feel so fierce when I'm
in the ring.
478
00:18:56,273 --> 00:18:57,895
- Fierce! I love this.
- I love it.
479
00:18:57,895 --> 00:19:01,795
Look, this leg right here? I
keep it out. I call this
trip or trick.
480
00:19:02,071 --> 00:19:03,487
I love that. I gotta go
practice that.
Come on!
481
00:19:03,487 --> 00:19:06,248
Oh, I'm with you come on!
Right behind you sis.
482
00:19:06,697 --> 00:19:09,562
Okay, let's go
smash some...
483
00:19:09,769 --> 00:19:15,119
Lori? Vivian?
What the? Oh, wha?
484
00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:16,914
Really?
485
00:19:16,914 --> 00:19:17,984
They abandoned you, huh?
486
00:19:17,984 --> 00:19:20,400
Yes Tony, they did.
Can you believe that?
487
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,300
Damn shame. Listen
I got the tent set
up in the room.
488
00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:24,335
Bring the skates,
489
00:19:24,335 --> 00:19:26,682
the helmet and button
up that chin strap.
490
00:19:27,890 --> 00:19:29,582
[Instrumental Music]
491
00:19:29,961 --> 00:19:35,588
[Instrumental Music]
492
00:19:39,281 --> 00:19:41,594
Yo dad, can I get
some money?
493
00:19:41,594 --> 00:19:43,941
Money? Boy please. You-
[Sniffing]
494
00:19:43,941 --> 00:19:45,908
Wait a minute,
you smell halfway decent.
495
00:19:45,908 --> 00:19:46,771
You finished
cleaning up your room?
496
00:19:46,771 --> 00:19:49,153
Yep. And I found
so much stuff.
497
00:19:49,153 --> 00:19:51,880
See how that works? I'm
proud of you, boy.
[Doorbell Rings]
498
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,193
Let me see who this is.
499
00:19:57,437 --> 00:19:58,611
Are you Mr. Stallworth?
500
00:19:58,611 --> 00:20:00,440
Uh yes, but
we don't want any.
501
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:03,961
Mr. Stallworth, we've been
getting some posts online with
you neglecting your children.
502
00:20:03,961 --> 00:20:05,307
What?
503
00:20:05,307 --> 00:20:08,103
I go social media on them, and
they go social worker on me?
504
00:20:08,103 --> 00:20:10,139
Child neglect is a very
serious offense sir.
505
00:20:10,139 --> 00:20:14,040
Ain't nobody negle- those kids
are fine. Look, look, my son-
506
00:20:16,042 --> 00:20:18,251
Sir, we're going to have
to do what's best for the
children.
507
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:19,804
- Officer take this
man away.
- What?
508
00:20:19,804 --> 00:20:20,633
Stop resisting.
509
00:20:20,633 --> 00:20:21,979
Resisting?
510
00:20:21,979 --> 00:20:23,601
I can't get arrested by no
Michael Phelps now.
511
00:20:23,601 --> 00:20:25,051
Come on now!
512
00:20:25,051 --> 00:20:27,502
What is this?
The Wild Wild West?
Somebody call my Momma.
513
00:20:27,502 --> 00:20:28,744
Lisa! Lisa!
514
00:20:28,744 --> 00:20:30,367
[Officer]
Sir take it like a man.
515
00:20:30,367 --> 00:20:33,680
Yo, FaceSpace that was my
Dad you just saw with
516
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,338
them nasty snot bubbles
coming out of his nose.
517
00:20:36,338 --> 00:20:39,997
-What's up FaceSpace.
-And this is our drama
teacher, Mr. Holly.
518
00:20:39,997 --> 00:20:43,794
- How do you like me now?
- You was great
by the way, thanks.
519
00:20:43,794 --> 00:20:45,451
No, thank you.
520
00:20:45,451 --> 00:20:47,522
Yeah, thank you.
521
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,491
Where did that
fake cop take
our dad anyway?
522
00:20:51,491 --> 00:20:53,079
Oh, he just took
him out to the car.
523
00:20:53,079 --> 00:20:55,392
He'll figure it out when
he gets to that 9 Pinto.
524
00:20:59,085 --> 00:21:00,811
We did that.
Haha!
525
00:21:00,811 --> 00:21:02,744
[Instrumental Music]
40178
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