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1
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:09,510
Tony, babe, baby
can you come on?
2
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:13,647
I don't wanna be the, sheesh,
the last ones to arrive.
Come on.
3
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:16,217
Look, if you gonna make me go to
this thing, then I want to make
an entrance.
4
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:18,619
I like to arrive late and leave
early. In fact...
5
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:20,454
we only have to be there for
about 15 minutes.
6
00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:23,824
No! We can't be there for 15
minutes, it's Cheryl's birthday.
7
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,660
She's been very fragile since
they finalized the divorce.
8
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:29,663
Ah yeah. That's a shame about
her and Jack. He was a good
brother.
9
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:32,700
- He cheated on her.
- Good brother, bad liar.
10
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,504
- Can we just go?
- All right, all right.
11
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,773
Look I don't know how you got me
to go to this thing, but if
Cheryl's birthday party
12
00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,775
turns into a pity party,
I'll be at the bar.
13
00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:44,112
Oh Tony come on. Can you just
fake it for 15 minutes?
14
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:47,148
- No.
- Why not? I do.
15
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:49,983
Wait a minute.
16
00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:52,186
* Woke up and my
wife said to me *
17
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,588
* The bill collectors
won't let me be *
18
00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:56,590
* The kids keep
talkin' back to me *
19
00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:58,559
* Family Time
20
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:03,897
* Family Time, Family Time,
Family Time *
21
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:13,874
[CROWD TALKING]
22
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:17,845
Lisa, Tony, over here!
23
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,314
See Lisa, I knew it was
gonna be like this.
24
00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:23,016
What are you talking about?
Everybody looks like they're
having a ball.
25
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:24,485
Yeah, but none of
them brought they man.
26
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:27,988
There's plenty of guys in here
Tony, come on.
27
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:29,923
- Hi!
- Happy birthday!
28
00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:33,093
Aww, thank you! And thank you
for bringing my Tonester.
29
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:36,964
I wouldn't miss it! Even if you
keep calling me whack nick-names
like The Tonester.
30
00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:38,399
Oh here's a birthday gift.
31
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:39,700
Okay, what is it, what is it?
32
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,835
Well I don't know what it is,
but I'm sure I paid for it.
33
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:44,438
Oh, classic Tonester,
always with the zingers!
34
00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:46,774
Everyone this is Lisa and Tony,
they're my neighbors.
35
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:49,310
Hi ladies. Bye ladies,
I'll be at the bar.
36
00:01:50,578 --> 00:01:51,812
Well you look gorgeous.
37
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:54,582
Oh-well me? Look at you, shining
bright like a diamond.
38
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,584
Well thank you! These are
my friends from work.
39
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,319
- This is Lisa.
- Hi.
40
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,488
So, what're you
guys talking about?
41
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:03,991
Well, as a matter of fact, we
were discussing our divorces.
42
00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:07,561
Oh-oh, maybe Tony was right,
sounds like a little man-bashing
43
00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:09,497
goin' on around here.
44
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,899
No no, girl talk.
Just girl talk.
45
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:14,935
Besides, it wouldn't be a
birthday party without a
little man-bashing.
46
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,872
Well I mean, fortunately for me,
you know, Tony and I have a
47
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:22,075
pretty healthy marriage despite
a little fight here and there.
48
00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:25,279
Hmm. Yeah, yeah that's uh,
what Jack and I
49
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:27,981
and his secretary used to say.
50
00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:31,018
- Nanny.
- Best friend.
51
00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:35,589
Thanks for the round, man.
52
00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:38,392
Loved you in "The Legend of
Bagger Vance". Hey man, let me
get another shot.
53
00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:41,562
You doin' alright man? You look
like you could use a double.
54
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:45,032
Yeah man, I got drug out here
to a all girls birthday party.
55
00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:48,035
Oh, for real? Shoot. It's a
packed house tonight man.
56
00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:51,038
I'd be out there milly-whopping
into everything if I was you
man.
57
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:52,806
It's a single brother's
paradise, you know?
58
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,410
Ain't lyin' brother. It's always
fine women in here.
59
00:02:56,444 --> 00:02:59,413
That's why I always keep
me a extra bus pass.
60
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:00,948
[LAUGHING]
61
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:03,817
Yeah man, well unfortunately,
I'm not single.
62
00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:06,287
I'm in here with the old ball 'n
chain, you know what I mean?
63
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,456
No, exactly what do
you mean, Tony?
64
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:11,359
I-I mean that my heart is
chained to these balls of
emotion that I have
65
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:13,694
every time I think
about my wife.
66
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:17,698
Um, bartender can you could just
hold that drink, okay? He's had
enough.
67
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:20,701
Nice talking to you.
68
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:24,272
Man he didn't even leave no tip.
Old Cuba Gooding look-alike.
69
00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:27,375
Let' get a mans opinion. Tony?
70
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:31,345
Uh no, no. No opinion, no
opinion at all, I am not getting
caught up in any women drama.
71
00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:33,547
Okay? I'm just here to celebrate
your birthday. Happy birthday.
72
00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:36,484
Okay Tony, come on, why don't
we just be a part of the
conversation instead of
73
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,586
standing at the bar
talking about us.
74
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:39,987
Okay. All right. Cheryl?
75
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,188
- Yeah?
- Go ahead.
76
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,258
Okay, well the ladies and I
were just discussing why men
77
00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:46,727
always leave their wives
for younger women.
78
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:50,898
I wouldn't know Cheryl, because
I'm perfectly happy with Lisa
most of the time.
79
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,769
Tonester, this is not about you.
This is a hypothetical.
80
00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:58,472
Okay, well, hypothetically
speaking, um...
81
00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:01,108
It's just a known fact older men
are attracted to younger women
82
00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:04,211
and younger women are
attracted to older men.
83
00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:07,715
Okay, okay that's fair,
I have been known to
84
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,718
stay up late night and watch a
Sean Connery movie or two.
85
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,120
But uh, but-but-I'm just
speaking hypothetically.
86
00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:16,123
Eh, you know, because I'm
sticking with Lisa. Who is old.
87
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:19,126
Excuse me?
88
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:21,995
Well-I-I-I'm just, I-I-I'm-I'm
speaking relatively.
89
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:24,898
You now, in the scenario that
Cheryl has placed before us.
90
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:29,470
Huh. So is that why you hired a
younger, attractive, female
secretary? Huh?
91
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:30,738
Lisa, you hired her!
92
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,773
Oh, let's not get into
specifics, Tony.
93
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,443
[SCOFFS] Really? I knew this
was gonna be a set-up.
94
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:40,247
Look just because Jack was
creepin' with his secretary,
doesn't mean that I am.
95
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,716
Heh, and, uh, no offense Cheryl,
happy birthday.
96
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:45,753
Or maybe you're just
a better liar, Tony!
97
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:50,023
No offense, Cheryl.
Happy birthday.
98
00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:51,892
Right so, are you two okay?
Are you two-
99
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:55,095
Oh we're fine, she just PMS'ing.
I got her under control.
[CHUCKLES] Okay.
100
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,997
[INAUDIBLE]
101
00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:58,499
[GRUNTS]
102
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:01,569
Li - I - I - I mean- I meant
I got the situation
103
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,837
under control. [LAUGHING]
104
00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,406
Ah, ya'll a - happy birthday.
105
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:08,442
Baby, P-PMS doesn't always mean-
106
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:11,845
***
107
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,821
That was very immature, Lisa.
108
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,391
Making me walk 25 blocks,
it's freezing outside!
109
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:24,725
You coulda took a Goober.
110
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:28,596
[SCOFFS] Last time I took a
Goober I was in a police chase.
111
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,264
Oh you wanna talk
about immature?
112
00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:34,267
A mature man does not embarrass
his wife in front of her
friends.
113
00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:36,003
I told you I didn't wanna
go in the first place.
114
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:39,006
Oh yeah Tony you made that so
very clear. The whole time you
didn't even try.
115
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:42,109
I tried to stay out of
that conversation. Let me
ask you something.
116
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:44,712
Why do women always push
men right to the edge?
117
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:47,915
Is it 'cause you want to get a
rise out of us just to see what
would happen?
118
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:50,984
Oh yeah, Tony, that's-that's
exactly it. I wanted us
119
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:54,121
to get into an argument tonight.
That's exactly what I wanted.
It's how I feel.
120
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:56,590
Okay, well, at least you
admitted it. I mean, what's the
matter, Lisa?
121
00:05:56,624 --> 00:06:00,794
Huh? Am I, am I not, am I not
giving you enough attention
around here?
122
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,931
Oh no you did not!
123
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:07,435
You go and embarrass me in
public and then talk to me about
needing attention?
124
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:10,438
Well that's how you women do. If
you can't get positive attention
125
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:12,806
you'll take negative attention.
Just any kind of attention.
126
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,208
Well why else would you drag me
somewhere I didn't want to be?
127
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,810
Oh so you sayin' you should
never have to be in any
128
00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:18,278
situation that you
don't want to be in?
129
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:21,081
Exactly. I'm a grown-ass man.
130
00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:24,117
Okay. I agree.
131
00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:27,354
- Wha-what are you doin'?
- Oh, uh...
132
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,857
I'm a grown-ass woman Tony. And
right now I don't wanna be in
133
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,358
this bedroom, so
I'ma take your advice.
134
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:35,095
And I'ma sleep in the
guest bedroom. Mkay?
135
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:40,367
Know that hurt.
136
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:44,004
***
137
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:49,510
Mmm! Oh, I see you got
them pancakes cookin'!
138
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:51,144
Where's mine at?
139
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:55,949
You a grown-ass man right?
That's what you say. Ah, you can
make your own pancakes.
140
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:59,152
Okay, okay. You still on that?
I see what this is.
141
00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:02,490
I'm well rested because I was
sleeping in our comfortable bed
142
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:05,526
so I'm over it. But you
were sleeping in that
guest bed with that
143
00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:06,894
coil stickin' in your ass.
144
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,930
Uh, no, but I'm feeling a
pain in my ass right now.
145
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,967
Hey mom! Hey dad.
146
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:17,571
Ooh! I see you got
them pancakes cookin'.
147
00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:20,307
This is just so typical.
Every man in this house
148
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,976
lets me down and then expects
me to cook them breakfast.
149
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:26,079
Oh... what did I walk into?
150
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,748
Ah never mind her,
she's trippin'.
151
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:31,719
Oh, I'm trippin'? Because I have
an inconsiderate husband and a
son
152
00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:33,887
who brings home bad grades?
153
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:35,956
Hmm... oh...
154
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:38,959
This is the week report
cards come in already?
155
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,861
You damn right it is, Devin.
156
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:42,630
Let me see that.
157
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:45,699
- Wha- what's up with
all these D's brah?
- Yeah, that's your son.
158
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:48,736
I think he got them
double D's from you, Lisa.
159
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,438
I don't think she's
in the mood, dad.
160
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,373
Yeah well I'm not in
the mood with you either.
161
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:55,208
How do you get a D in PE?
162
00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:58,111
Easy. By not showing up.
163
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:01,181
Let me see that.
164
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:04,451
Oh snap. I got a B in History.
165
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,853
How'd that happen?
166
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:08,088
"B" gonna stand for
this belt on your ass.
167
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:10,190
No is that the only class
you studied for?
168
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:13,193
No, not at all! Oh...
169
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:15,996
I know what it was. The final
was a multiple choice test.
170
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,831
So I just "DABed"
my way through it.
171
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:19,132
What do you mean "dab"?
What's that mean?
172
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:22,135
"D", "A", "B". [CHUCKLES]
173
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:26,239
"D", "A", "B".
174
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,008
I guess I'm just lucky.
175
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:31,545
You lucky to be alive.
That's what you are.
176
00:08:31,579 --> 00:08:34,582
"DAB" gonna stand for "Devin's
Ass Beatin'". Keep it up.
177
00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:36,617
Hey everybody, good morning.
178
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,786
Hey baby.
179
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:41,889
I made you a plate of pancakes,
since you're the
180
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:44,524
only one in this house who
doesn't bring me any drama.
181
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:46,126
Oh, thanks mom!
182
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:49,462
Yeah, my little straight A
student. Doesn't talk back...
183
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:52,232
doesn't take me for a joke.
184
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,868
Man, whatever. Devin, I'll make
you some breakfast. What you
want?
185
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:56,770
Some chicken and waffles.
186
00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:59,807
Flag on the play boy, we gonna
go out to eat. Come on.
187
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,512
You like 'em? Gluten free.
188
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,515
***
189
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,518
Okay I get that Tony can
be inconsiderate...
190
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,722
and cheap, and selfish, and
bullheaded, and gassy
191
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:17,524
- Okay. I get it.
- And his head is bigger than
his body...
192
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,892
Rachel, thank you.
193
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:21,028
But you're probably just
blowing this whole thing
out of proportion.
194
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,131
Well I mean I wouldn't
have to if he would've
just said sorry and
195
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,967
apologized for what he said at
Cheryl's party, but he hasn't.
196
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,837
Okay. Lisa, I think you're
expectations are a little
bit too high.
197
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:32,205
Now you know Tony is
not gonna apologize.
198
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,642
You gotta learn to pick and
choose your battles.
199
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:37,010
Well this is the battle I'm
picking and choosing.
200
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:40,347
Okay well you need to pick
and choose a new husband.
201
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:43,216
But, since you won't, what do
you want? An apology?
202
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:46,253
Uh, hell no. Flowers too.
203
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:49,056
Alright Lisa, you guys go
through this once a week.
204
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,792
And the second that I take
your side, you make up
205
00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:53,293
and then I look stupid.
206
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:57,865
Okay, well maybe I'll just stand
my ground this time, he'll
actually change.
207
00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,833
That's your problem Lisa.
208
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:03,270
You keep thinking you can change
men. Men don't change.
209
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,839
That's why I changed to women.
210
00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:07,808
Well, that and I
like big boobies.
211
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:11,779
Okay, that's actually not true.
He has changed, a little.
212
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,714
- Since we started dating.
- How?
213
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,515
Well he doesn't belch out loud
anymore.
214
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:18,618
And I finally cut him from
his moms umbilical cord.
215
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:21,655
[LAUGHING]
216
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,858
Okay. To changing Tony.
217
00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:27,895
To changing Tony.
218
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:42,910
[FRETTING]
219
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,279
What's up? I-I got your text.
220
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:49,282
What took you so long to get
here? You were just next door in
your room.
221
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:52,786
You ain't never heard of
showing up fashionably late?
222
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:55,455
I have a problem and
I need your advise.
223
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,791
Word? you need my advice?
224
00:10:57,825 --> 00:11:00,728
That must mean this
problem's real big.
225
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:03,463
Remember when mom was like I'm
her little straight A student?
226
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,867
Oh, so you's just gonna
throw that in my face now?
227
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,903
I'm failing a class! [CRYING]
228
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,539
Word? You?
229
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:14,441
You're supposed to
be the smart one.
230
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:18,178
You're gonna be so embarrassed!
Dad gonna get his belt, mom
gonna be trippin'!
231
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,881
Man you done let the
whole family down.
232
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:24,684
Okay, okay, I get your point.
How am I even gonna break the
news to them?
233
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:26,353
What class are
you failing anyway?
234
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:29,022
I got a "F" in Black History.
235
00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:31,624
Black History?
236
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:35,295
When mom and dad find out,
you're gonna be black history!
237
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:36,830
[CRYING]
238
00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:40,200
You know, they might not trip
though since they know you
adopted and all.
239
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,701
What?!
240
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,136
[SOBBING]
241
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:47,107
***
242
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:50,110
Black History? For real?
You're black!
243
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:53,113
How do you now
know your own history?
244
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,415
Well, it's what happens when
you don't turn in your work.
245
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:58,418
Look, if you want to skip out on
your trigonometry homework
246
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:01,221
I get it. But Black History?
Come on, don't make us
247
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:04,457
all look bad, Stacy Dash!
248
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:07,227
It's not that I didn't want
to do the homework, it's
249
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:09,062
that I didn't want to
do it out of protest.
250
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:14,234
If not doin' homework is
protestin', then I been an
activist my whole life.
251
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:17,670
I thought we should be covering
Martin Luther King Jr., or
Malcolm X.
252
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:21,308
Or Medgar Evers. But they wanted
to do my final essay on
253
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,742
who invented peanut butter.
254
00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:26,546
Come on now Ebony, everyone
knows that, it's Booker T.
Washington!
255
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:30,250
It's George Washington Carver,
and he didn't even invent it!
256
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:33,787
Well I knew it was one of the
Washington's, like Denzel or
Kerry or one of them.
257
00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:36,023
What do you think mom and dad
are gonna do to me?
258
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:39,827
Nothing. 'Cause they're
not gonna find out.
259
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:40,961
I don't get it.
260
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:43,496
One thing I learned in
my Black History class
261
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,899
which I got a C minus in,
262
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:48,635
is us black people
gotta stick together.
263
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:52,105
- And I got your back.
- So what's the plan?
264
00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:55,108
So, since mom and dad
aren't flipping out, I assume
265
00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:57,210
you got your hands on
the first report card.
266
00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:58,311
Yup.
267
00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:02,315
Great. But, they've already
sent out the second one.
268
00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:03,884
And we gotta intercept.
269
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,352
It's that simple?
270
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:08,956
Not quite. See, when you're
failing a class, they gonna call
the house.
271
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:10,723
Mom's gonna answer
and I'm gonna die!
272
00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:14,761
No, no, they're not.
'Cause dad's gonna answer.
273
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:19,299
A younger, handsomer
version of him.
274
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:28,208
Always leavin' his dirty clothes
everywhere. Like I'm his maid!
275
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:32,880
Pick up your own clothes you -
Tony! Pick up your dirty clothes
off the floor.
276
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:36,049
Oh. So you talkin'
to me again, huh?
277
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,987
Whatever. I-I'll pick them
up later. Look, I just
wanted to let you
278
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,856
know that I'm going out with
Donnie and the fellas to play
some poker.
279
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:44,892
- Don't wait up.
- Uh...
280
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:46,894
You weren't gonna
check in with me first?
281
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:49,729
Yo first of all, you haven't
been talkin' to me all day.
Second...
282
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:52,565
I ain't gotta check in,
this ain't a hotel.
283
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,134
- Oh is that right?
- Yeah.
284
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:57,437
Look, Lisa, I didn't have to
tell you that I was going
anywhere.
285
00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:00,440
I just dropped by to let you
know so that I could be
courteous.
286
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:02,542
Oh well you've never
been courteous
287
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:05,178
Tony, so why change now?
[CHUCKLE]
288
00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:08,048
See that's the problem Lisa.
You're always trying to change
me.
289
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:09,449
But that ain't ever
gonna happen.
290
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,318
Nobody's trying to change you.
291
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:14,387
Oh really? Well then why did I
hear you tell your sister that
you been tryin' to
292
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:16,556
change me ever since we
first started dating?
293
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:20,060
Oh.. Oh, whoa, you
were spying on me?
294
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:22,695
Where I'm from it's
called ear hustling, Lisa.
295
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:24,831
Now I heard everything you said.
296
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,434
And you can't change that.
297
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:29,469
You are so selfish!
298
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:32,872
Oh, oh I'm selfish? I'm selfish?
Lisa, I won the lotto.
299
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:37,077
Okay? I coulda took that money
and moved my black-ass back to
Africa.
300
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:40,347
Alright? Had a whole bunch of
babies running around in the
bush. But I did not.
301
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:44,351
Alright? I bought you a house
for you and your spoiled-ass
kids, okay?
302
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,586
So do not call me selfish.
303
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:49,389
Huh. Whoa. Wow.
304
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:55,862
Let... let me give you a round
of applau-just...
305
00:14:55,895 --> 00:15:00,567
Gripping performance. Emmy
winning performance Tony.
306
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,736
Thank you so much for
taking free money and
307
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:05,338
feeding your family!
308
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:09,442
Alright. Well let me
give you a golf clap.
309
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:12,179
Because you
310
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:15,648
get the Academy Award for
being the unappreciative wife
311
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:18,986
who has a good hard working
husband that provides for you
and her kids
312
00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:21,121
but you still want
to change him.
313
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:22,655
- Hmm. Hmm!
- Hmm!
314
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:25,558
- Well you know what?
Let me give you...
- Hmm?
315
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,695
another round of applause,
'cause I don't know how to
316
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:30,830
play her, okay?
317
00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:33,933
Let me applaud you again Tony,
for taking any issue this
318
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:37,804
family has and avoiding it just
because you pay the mortgage.
319
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:41,008
Well thank you, thank you, thank
you. But you ain't gonna get the
last clap!
320
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,776
Alright? So let me give
you a standing ovation
321
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:46,346
Okay? For always playin'
the part of the victim.
322
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:49,349
But guess what Boo-Boo? You is
not the victim this time.
Alright?
323
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:51,684
'Cause I didn't do anything
wrong. I'm out.
324
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:54,687
Oh, oh, oh! Okay. So, that's it?
325
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:57,457
You just gonna run away from
this issue Tony? Come on!
326
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,692
Man up! Let's discuss it.
327
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:02,996
Let's discuss it then. What you
wanna talk about Lisa? I'm
listenin', I'm all ears.
328
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:04,931
Go ahead. Speak.
329
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:08,201
You know what Tony?
With that attitude...
330
00:16:08,235 --> 00:16:11,071
- Nothing.
- That's what I thought.
Collar pop!
331
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:16,843
You... ugly shirt!
332
00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:19,879
If you gonna leave,
then don't come back!
333
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:23,783
***
334
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:34,394
They're gonna kill me, they're
gonna kill me, oh my
God...[SOBBING]
335
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,532
- Alright, chill.
- Is it there?
336
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,201
Got it.
337
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:43,903
Your second report card,
and my second report card.
338
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,872
Alright, I'm gonna rip this up!
339
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:48,007
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...
340
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:50,610
What are you doin'?
341
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:53,413
This really is your first time
getting rid of your report card.
342
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:56,149
They're gonna find it
in the kitchen trash.
343
00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:59,352
Well what are you
gonna do to it?
344
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,321
I'm gonna put it on the grill.
345
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:04,023
We gonna have
ourselves a little cookout.
346
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:06,159
Good thinking, Devin! Now, if
347
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:10,063
you just apply a little of that
to your work, you'd make honor
roll.
348
00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:13,200
Come on Ebony, you know I don't
have book smarts, I got street
smarts.
349
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:14,701
[PHONE RINGING]
350
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,069
And that's them now.
351
00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:17,204
How do you know?
352
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:19,038
They always call on Saturday.
353
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:20,440
[PHONE RINGING]
354
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:21,841
[BEEP]
355
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,810
Hello?
356
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,312
[DEEPER VOICE] Hello?
357
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:28,315
Yes, this is Mr. Stallworth.
358
00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:32,585
Yes, I'm Ebony's father.
359
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:33,953
[NORMAL VOICE] Black History?
360
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:35,622
How dumb she got
to be to fail...
361
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:38,991
[DEEP VOICE] Black History? You
know we're black, don't you?
362
00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:41,294
Can you stick with the plan?
363
00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:44,664
[DEEP VOICE] All right. Well
thank you for letting me know.
364
00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:47,400
I'll get on top of the matter as
soon as possible.
365
00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:48,835
[WHISPERING] What's he saying?
366
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:51,371
[NORMAL VOICE]
No, this isn't Devin.
367
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:54,407
[DEEP VOICE] Who's Devin?
368
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:59,112
[NORMAL VOICE] Alright then,
I'll talk to you later.
369
00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:02,915
[DEEP VOICE] Good day
to you too, sir.
370
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,251
[BEEP]
371
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:05,785
Did it work?
372
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:08,788
Nah. Dad's gonna kill you.
373
00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:29,876
Oh... so that's
how we doin' Tony?
374
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:34,514
Stayin' out all hours
to the night?
375
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:37,317
I know how this looks,
but it's not how it looks.
376
00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:39,719
I had a few too many beers at
the poker game, I didn't want to
drive
377
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,254
home so I crashed
on Donnie's house.
378
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:43,923
Oh that's great. You should go
ahead and get comfortable on
Donnie's couch.
379
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,759
Because ah, that's where you'll
be sleeping. Packed your bags
380
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,195
they're ready to go.
381
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:51,631
Really Lisa? You gon-you gonna
take it that far to packin' my
bags?
382
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:55,235
I know you're angry,
okay, but...
383
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:57,904
I been thinkin' 'bout what you
been sayin'. Alright? I think we
should talk.
384
00:18:57,937 --> 00:19:00,207
Oh. Oh now you want to talk.
385
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:04,043
That's funny Tony, 'cause I'm
tired of talking. Done.
386
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:06,513
Lisa you don't believe me?
You can ask Donnie.
387
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,548
Let me get him on the phone.
He explain the whole thing.
388
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:12,319
Great, great. Donnie always give
me a sense of clarity.
389
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:15,222
He'll clear this up.
Donnie'll do it.
390
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:18,258
[DIALING]
391
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,360
[RINGING]
392
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:22,429
Still ringing.
393
00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:24,664
Donnie! Hey, hey. What's up boy?
394
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,534
Yeah, listen. Uh, yeah,
last night was wild.
395
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,369
Listen, I got Lisa standin'
right here next to me, okay?
396
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:32,305
I want you to tell her
everything that happened last
night.
397
00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:35,342
Yes everything! Y-....
398
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:38,811
Focus, okay... for real?
399
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,714
[CHUCKLES] I must've
been sleepin' then.
400
00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:45,117
Hey, hey, listen man, just-just
tell her what happened, okay?
401
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:48,755
Hello Donnie. Goodbye Donnie.
402
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:50,690
Wha? Why would you
hang up in his face?
403
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:53,693
I don't want to hear your boys
cover up for you, Tony.
404
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,161
Who was there last night?
405
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:58,665
Wha- Donnie of course. Uh,
Derrick was there.
406
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:02,068
- Uh, Cousin Dave stopped by.
- Mm-hmm. Was Melinda there?
407
00:20:02,101 --> 00:20:03,270
Who?
408
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:04,971
You know who Melinda is! The one
who constantly wears those
409
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:06,706
inappropriate
dresses to the work!
410
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:08,508
Oh that Melinda.
Yeah, no, she wasn't there.
411
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:09,909
Okay, why-why
would she be there?
412
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:12,579
She- well you- I
don't know, Tony!
413
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:15,047
Because you didn't check
in with me. Your wife.
414
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:18,418
Who you have clearly lost all
respect for. So I suggest
415
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:21,020
you take advice from Eryka Badu
and go ahead and call Tyrone.
416
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:24,023
Or in your case Donnie.
417
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:27,427
Really Lisa? That's-that's
how you want it to go?
418
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:30,430
It's not how I want it to go,
but it's how it is.
419
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:31,864
All right. I'll leave.
420
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:35,167
If I'm insecure, it's 'cause you
made me that way Tony.
421
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:36,869
Mom, dad!
422
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,805
Hey, son, I don't know
how much you heard, but
423
00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:41,408
don't worry, I'm sure we'll
straighten this out in a couple
of days.
424
00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:45,912
I-I don't know what you're
talking about, but I think
you need to see this.
425
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:51,551
Wha-...
426
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,686
What does this even mean, Devin?
427
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:55,922
She's gone.
428
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:58,625
Ebony must've ran away.
429
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:02,295
You think I could
get her 60" though?
35638
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