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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,569 --> 00:00:02,870 ** 2 00:00:07,075 --> 00:00:08,509 Tony: God is great. Good is good. 3 00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:11,179 Let us thank him for this food. A-- 4 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:13,981 Man! What are you doing? 5 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,349 Blessing your food for you 6 00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:17,151 'cause I know you're pressed for time. 7 00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:19,487 Can't be my food because I'm on a cleanse, 8 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,489 and so are you! Come on, Tony. 9 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,023 You've been doin' so well. 10 00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:25,826 Lisa, I tried. We've been on this fast forever. 11 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,495 Oh, it's only been two days, Tony, 12 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:30,198 and it's not a fast. It's a cleanse. 13 00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:32,533 Two days without food is forever. A brother gotta eat. 14 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:35,336 But a brother's looking so good! 15 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,338 And after only two days. 16 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,006 Really? 17 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,509 Oh, absolutely! Face is all chiseled, 18 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,711 six-pack trying to pop back up. 19 00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:45,513 [ laughing ] That brother has been feeling 20 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,182 a little extra sexy over the last couple of days. 21 00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:51,018 Ain't seen my six-pack in... never. 22 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,186 Girl, get off me, liar! 23 00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,188 Come on, Tony. 24 00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:55,856 You promised you would do this with me. 25 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,225 I even bought the top-of-the-line juicer. 26 00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:59,193 I was eating chili cheese fries when I made 27 00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:01,095 that promise. I wasn't in my right mind. 28 00:01:01,129 --> 00:01:03,731 Okay. Well, just-- babe, just do it for me. 29 00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:07,401 It's only 10 days, and you'll thank me later. 30 00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:08,969 Tonight. 31 00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:11,272 Oh, okay. When you put it like that. 32 00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:13,907 Let me get on out of here and get to this meeting at work. 33 00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:16,310 Speaking of meat, I'm gonna to pick up some steaks on my way home. 34 00:01:16,344 --> 00:01:17,778 - Steaks? - Yeah. 35 00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:20,248 To put in that top-of-the-line juicer you got. 36 00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:21,749 Steak juice for everybody. 37 00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:23,251 ** 38 00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:24,918 * Woke up, and my wife said to me * 39 00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:26,920 * The bill collectors want their fees * 40 00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:28,922 * The kids keep talking back to me * 41 00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:30,924 * Family Time 42 00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:33,427 * Family Time, Family Time * 43 00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:36,430 * Family Time. 44 00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:37,865 ** 45 00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:45,273 All right. Just knock it off fast and get back to work. 46 00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:48,609 Don't even think about food. Mind over matter. 47 00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:51,679 Mm, mm. Mm! 48 00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:54,114 That was pretty good. 49 00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:56,517 Damn, I'm hungry. 50 00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,421 Tony, come on, man. The lunch special 51 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,256 over at the Red Bucket will be over in an hour. 52 00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:05,193 Can't do it. Me and Lisa are on a juice fast. 53 00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:07,428 That's my lunch right here. 54 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,530 Quit playing, man! Look, they gonna run out 55 00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:12,933 of macaroni and cheese in 30 minutes. You know how black restaurants are! 56 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,436 I'm serious about this fast, man. We've got eight days left. 57 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,871 Eight days? That's almost a week! 58 00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:20,541 Look, now. We've got Wildest Wings on Wednesday. 59 00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:23,211 We've got Tracy's Tacos on Tuesday. We've got Duggan's 60 00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,446 on Friday. I'm not about to let you slow me up now. 61 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,114 Look, man. You're on your own. 62 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,383 Absolutely not, brother. Okay? 63 00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:31,719 These outings are far too important to me 64 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:34,388 to exclude you, my brother! Come on. 65 00:02:34,422 --> 00:02:37,891 They're important to you because I always treat. 66 00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:40,728 This is true because, with my business model, 67 00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,896 lunchtime hours are proven to be economically 68 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:44,898 less productive than later in the day. 69 00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:46,734 So you're broke during lunchtime. 70 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:49,637 Has it come to this? I thought we were boys. 71 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,405 What are you talking about? We're boys. 72 00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:53,241 Look, man. I can't take it anymore, man. 73 00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:55,909 These insinuations, dude. Your mood, it's up, it's down. 74 00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:57,911 I don't know what to expect no more, man! 75 00:02:57,945 --> 00:03:01,315 You're doing juice cleanses? You're not no juice cleanse guy. 76 00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:05,386 You're a meat and potatoes boy. You are Tony Stallworth! 77 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:08,489 Excuse me. I'm looking for Tony Stallworth? 78 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:12,025 That would be me. Hey, girl. Um, how are you? 79 00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:13,694 Damn, sister, you fine. 80 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,496 Aren't you on your way to the Red Bucket? 81 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,064 Uh, don't bother. 82 00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:18,999 They ran out of mac and cheese 10 minutes ago. 83 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,734 See? I told you-- 84 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,503 Anyway, sister, I didn't get your name. 85 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,004 Man, go ahead. 86 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,173 You're going to tell me, though, right? Don't be... 87 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:29,410 Uh, neither did I. I'm Tony. 88 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:32,112 I'm Lauren Hall. 89 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,583 I got some commercial real estate 90 00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:38,018 that I'd like to covert into a chain of restaurants. 91 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,521 Oh, okay. Are you working with an architect? 'Cause if not, 92 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,523 I can have something drawn up for your approval. 93 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,425 That sounds expensive. I have a budget, 94 00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:46,193 and I'm trying not to exceed it. 95 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,695 Well, I can work with you. 96 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,397 Oh. Can we? 97 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:51,699 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, everything's negotiable. 98 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,267 I've also been known to be a pushover. 99 00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:55,536 Ah. Good to know. 100 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,205 I love seeing a successful black man at work. 101 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,874 Ah. I do what I do. So, what type of food 102 00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,143 are you gonna have at your restaurant? 103 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,646 Ah, haven't decided yet, 104 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:07,615 but I love a thick burger. 105 00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:11,118 Mm. I can go for a thick burger right now. 106 00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,886 I like it animal style. 107 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,322 Are you still talking about food? 108 00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,123 'Cause that kinda sounded metaphorical. 109 00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:18,326 Oh, I'm just saying I'd like to discuss the project 110 00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:22,062 over lunch, tomorrow. You pick the place. 111 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,465 I don't know if you want to do that. I'm hungry as hell. 112 00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:27,401 Oh. I hope that was metaphorical. 113 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:29,403 Nope. I'm hungry as hell. 114 00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:33,106 ** 115 00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:39,647 Lisa thinking: I hope 10 days isn't overdoing it. 116 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,483 Maybe Tony's right. Maybe it will be good for us 117 00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:45,152 to eat something. 118 00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,820 Maybe just one raisin. 119 00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,822 I mean, raisins through a juicer 120 00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:52,159 would make grape juice, and if I just eat the whole raisin, 121 00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:55,829 maybe my body will naturally turn it into juice! 122 00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:58,198 What's the difference? 123 00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:01,602 Wow, I think I can actually feel that raisin 124 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,938 being turned into juice inside my digestive system. 125 00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:07,608 But you wouldn't put just one raisin into a juicer, 126 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:11,178 would you? No, no, of course not. That would be ridiculous. 127 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:14,448 Mm. Mm! 128 00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:16,116 Mm, mm. 129 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,285 I thought you were supposed to be on a juice fast. 130 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,120 And I thought you were supposed to knock 131 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,655 before you come in somebody's house. 132 00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:24,792 And it is a cleanse, not a fast, thank you. 133 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:27,127 Ah, well, at least it's healthy 'cause you ain't get 134 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,630 all that ass from no cleanse or no fast. 135 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:33,300 Whatever. My man likes it. What about yours? 136 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,135 Oh, I forgot. You ain't got one. 137 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,137 Uh, funny but not nice. 138 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,807 I hope you eat every single one of those raisins in that box 139 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,309 and end up spending the entire night in the bathroom. 140 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,144 Oh, that's nasty, and it's not gonna happen 141 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,814 because I've also been eating granny smith apples. 142 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,817 They're naturally high in fiber and low in calories. I mean, 143 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,485 it's practically like juicing. 144 00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:53,020 You know you sound crazy, right? 145 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,988 Insane. I'm starving! 146 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,990 Take me to the farmer's market, please? 147 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:59,326 No, no, no. I will not contribute 148 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,862 to you failing to reach your goals. 149 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,765 But I used all my apples making apple pie 150 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:07,034 a couple of days ago! 151 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:10,771 Oh, Lisa. That is not on the list. 152 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:14,408 Oh, my goodness. Oh, I love your apple pie, honey. 153 00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:16,376 You mean to tell me you're gonna eat 154 00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:17,945 this entire pie by yourself? 155 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,547 Fruit is fruit. 156 00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:20,948 Give me that fork, 157 00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:22,550 'cause I'm not on no juice fast. 158 00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:24,952 Just a... mm. 159 00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:32,426 ** 160 00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:34,595 The chef here is a personal friend, 161 00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:37,297 and he's been bragging about his rib eye. 162 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,534 Here. One piece won't hurt your fast. 163 00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:42,436 Yeah, sure. One piece won't hurt. 164 00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:44,538 Lisa's voice: I know you're not about to eat that! 165 00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:46,607 Huh? What? Who said that? 166 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,075 Who said what? 167 00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:50,778 Never mind. I'm tripping. 168 00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:52,279 Lisa: Don't eat it, Tony. 169 00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:53,814 I'm not going to eat it. 170 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:56,484 Okay. I get it. You don't want any. 171 00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,486 Oh, no, no. It's not that I don't want any. 172 00:06:58,519 --> 00:06:59,920 Lisa: What? 173 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,922 I'm gonna just stick with the juice. 174 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,924 Are you okay? 175 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:06,226 Yeah, this juice fast thing has just got me tripping. 176 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,895 My mind's not right. 177 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,430 Ah. You know, if you were my man, 178 00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:13,233 I wouldn't put you through this torture. 179 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:16,003 Lisa: Don't let this heifer get you in trouble. 180 00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,671 Damn it, Lisa. 181 00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:20,841 Lauren. My name is Lauren. 182 00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:25,012 Um, yeah, I'm sorry. Lauren, my wife Lisa and I 183 00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:28,749 have decided to do a cleanse, and, well, I'm sticking to it. 184 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,251 Mm. But what about me? 185 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,621 Do you think I need to do a juice fast? 186 00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,756 No, no. I think you look nice. 187 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,125 Hmm. You don't always think that. 188 00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:40,528 Sure, I do. As soon as you walked in my office. 189 00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,763 Look, I'm married, not blind. 190 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,865 You really don't remember me, do you? 191 00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:46,433 Huh? 192 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,536 Before I took my husband's last name, 193 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,804 I used to go by Lauren Matthews. 194 00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:52,640 You know what? 195 00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:54,608 I went to school with a Lauren Matthews. 196 00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:55,976 Yeah. 197 00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,878 Oh, we used to call her all kinds of names. 198 00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,479 You know, kids could be cruel. 199 00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:01,849 We used to call her Lazy Eye Lauren. 200 00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:05,485 You know. Lauren "The Lard" Matthews. 201 00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:08,455 Aka Lord of the Onion Rings. 202 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,057 [ laughing ] 203 00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:13,794 She would clutch her lunch box and go, "My precious!" 204 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,564 [ laughter ] 205 00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:19,199 Yup. Kids can be cruel. 206 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:21,401 Oh, you tell it. When she'd walk down the hall, 207 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:25,505 we'd go, "Praise the Lard!" There was this one time 208 00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:27,374 she gave me a chocolate valentine, 209 00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,342 and she took it back because she was hungry. 210 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:30,878 [ laughing ] I'm glad, too, 'cause 211 00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,246 I did not want her to be my valentine. 212 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,315 And there was this one time-- that was you, huh? 213 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:36,917 [ laughter ] 214 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:40,020 That was a long time ago, Tony. All is forgiven. 215 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:42,389 Oh, good, 'cause I really want this job. 216 00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:44,725 You got the job, Tony. 217 00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:46,694 I want you. 218 00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:49,062 Oh, thank you. 219 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:53,433 I've wanted you since I laid eye on you. 220 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:59,172 Uh, come on, Tony. I have a sense of humor, too. 221 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,742 And a damn good eye doctor. 222 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:05,378 But all jokes aside, I do want you. 223 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,082 Um, I'm married. 224 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:10,951 I don't want to marry you, Tony. 225 00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:13,120 I already have a husband. 226 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,355 You know what I want. 227 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,524 Um... okay, look. 228 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:21,094 Uh, what you do is your business, but I'm feeling 229 00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:23,496 a little uncomfortable, so I'm gonna go. 230 00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:31,204 Lisa: Don't eat that! 231 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,140 I'm not gonna eat it. 232 00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:42,716 ** 233 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:46,453 Girl, I cheated. No! 234 00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:48,822 Not on Tony. Are you crazy? 235 00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:52,059 Me and Lori, we sat here, and we at the whole pie. 236 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,561 The whole pie! Yeah. 237 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,897 Yeah, you're right, you're right. 238 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,399 Today is a new day. I could start fresh. 239 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,835 Oh, I'm gonna finish this cleanse, even if it kills me. 240 00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,737 Yeah. Okay. You know, let me call you later. 241 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,105 All right. Bye. 242 00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:09,509 All right! I've got my carrots in here, 243 00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:12,012 my beets in here for a little iron. 244 00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,347 You know, I think I made enough juice for two days. 245 00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:16,149 What! What do I tell these kids 246 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:19,753 about cleaning up after themselves... 247 00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:22,089 Hmm. No. No, no! 248 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,992 I am not gonna do it. I'm not gonna eat 249 00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:28,328 one of these delicious-looking cookies. 250 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:30,931 Not without some milk! 251 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,599 Tony's voice: Lisa, what are you doing? 252 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,534 I know you're not about to eat that. 253 00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:37,204 I was just about to throw these away. 254 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,773 Tony: Girl, stop lyin'. I'm in your mind, and I know what you're thinking, 255 00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,775 and don't think I don't know about the raisins. 256 00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:43,343 Oh, I bet you don't know about the pie. 257 00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:44,611 Tony: Ha! I do now. 258 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,379 Ah! This is ridiculous! 259 00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:49,116 You got me in here talking to myself, and I'm really-- 260 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,884 Uh, hey, baby. Hi, Ma. 261 00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:53,453 I'm really proud of you for keeping the fast. 262 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,890 Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've got to admit it is not easy. 263 00:10:56,924 --> 00:10:58,525 Let me help you with that. 264 00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:01,294 Uh, really? You're just gonna eat the cookie 265 00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:03,630 in front of your mom like that? 266 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:06,366 You're right. It needs milk. 267 00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,035 Devin! Come on. 268 00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,703 I thought you were better than that. 269 00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:12,873 That's slightly inconsiderate. 270 00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:15,008 So how does that juice taste? 271 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:17,377 Not as good as those cookies. 272 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:20,180 Ah, who am I fooling? This is hard! 273 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:23,016 I've got an idea. Why don't we get rid 274 00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:25,652 of all that stuff that you're not supposed to be eating? 275 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,020 All of it? What do you mean? 276 00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:28,722 Where are you going? What are you doing? 277 00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:30,323 Huh? What are you trying to do, baby? 278 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,892 We're getting rid of all of that stuff 279 00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:33,393 right now, so you won't be tempted! 280 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:36,163 Ah, okay, yeah. That's a good idea. 281 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,865 Whoa, not the cream caramel cookies, no. 282 00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,332 I'm getting rid of these cookies. 283 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,568 No, no. I don't think that's necessary... 284 00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:44,371 Yup, these sodas. Mm-hm. 285 00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,339 No, no, wait, we've got to compromise. 286 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,376 No, those are my favorite! Don't touch the ranch. 287 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,879 We ought to compromise. Baby, come on. 288 00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:53,680 True, true. 289 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,515 And this secret stash of candy 290 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,184 that you thought we didn't know about. 291 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,852 You know about that? Mm-hmm. 292 00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:00,854 Tony: Everyone knows about that, Lisa. 293 00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:03,456 Shut up, Tony! 294 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,358 Mom, it's me, Devin. 295 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,727 Yeah. Yeah, I see you, baby. I love you. 296 00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:09,763 I'm really proud of you, you know that? 297 00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:12,099 Uh, I'm gonna be in my room, 298 00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:15,035 taking care of this trash and doing my homework. 299 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,504 Okay. That's great. Love you, baby. 300 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,141 Tony: Lisa, I know you're smarter than that. 301 00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:23,143 What? 302 00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:26,246 Tony: You just got punk'd. The trash can is the other way? 303 00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,949 Devin! Devin! 304 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:33,286 ** 305 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:40,760 Oh, yes. 306 00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:42,762 Girl, I've been waiting all day for this juice. 307 00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:44,431 How about you? How have you been doing? 308 00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:45,933 You've been sticking to the fast? 309 00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:48,135 How many times do I have to tell you it is a cleanse, 310 00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:51,304 and I've been doing great. Of course, I have. 311 00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:53,240 What about you? Have you been cheating? 312 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,975 Cheating? What you talk about cheating? 313 00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,676 Nobody been cheating, baby. I love you. 314 00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,345 Oh, oh, you mean the cleanse. Yes, no. 315 00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,914 I've been sticking to the cleanse, and you, and you. 316 00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:02,782 I've been sticking to the cleanse and you. 317 00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:05,418 Oh. Okay. Well, you know, I think I'm going to get me 318 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,754 some more juice. You want something? You're good? 319 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,256 No, no. I'm fine. 320 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,590 All right. 321 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,592 Come on, Tony. Keep it together. 322 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:13,961 ( doorbell rings ) 323 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,601 Now, what are you doing here? 324 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,270 You forgot these blueprints. 325 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,704 I have my own copies. 326 00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,439 I thought I heard the doorbell. 327 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:29,142 Hey, Lisa. Uh, this is my client, Lazy Eye Laur-- 328 00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:31,278 Um, Loch Ness Laur-- 329 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:34,281 Lauren, Lisa. Lisa, Lauren. 330 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,983 Nice to meet you. 331 00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,551 I brought you guys a cake. I baked it myself. 332 00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:40,988 As you already know, we're on a cleanse? 333 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,123 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what, I'll take that. 334 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,292 I got it, and do you want something to drink? 335 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,060 I'll take some water. 336 00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:49,129 Okay. I'll take a slice of that cake. 337 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,264 In seven days, not a minute before. 338 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,734 Oh, alone at last. 339 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,169 Girl, are you crazy? 340 00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:57,637 If Lisa knew what you were up to, 341 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,572 you would be eating that cake through a straw. 342 00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:03,343 Uh, Tony, it's not that big a deal. 343 00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:07,680 All I want to do is... 344 00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:10,150 Lick you until there's nothing left. 345 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,752 Mmm! So good. Ooh. 346 00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:17,024 Damn, you're nasty. Girl, where do you want 347 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:19,092 them restaurants built, Sodom and Gomorrah? 348 00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:21,828 Come on, Tony. 349 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:25,398 You know you want a piece of this... 350 00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:27,034 Cake! 351 00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,869 Ooh, I just love me, love me some cake. 352 00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:32,039 Lauren, you've got to go. Come on. 353 00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:34,207 But Lisa was gonna get me something to drink. 354 00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:36,376 If you don't get your thirsty ass out of my house... 355 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:39,712 Uh, thirsty, huh? Oh, okay. 356 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:42,215 Well, all I know is, Tony, if you want this job, 357 00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:44,551 you'd better get on your job. 358 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,753 Mm. Could you move your hand back a little bit, 359 00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:49,422 'cause it look like, uh... 360 00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:52,292 Oh, hey. Uh, what happened to your client? 361 00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,727 Oh, she had to go, yeah. She was so thirsty, 362 00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:56,930 she couldn't even wait for a drink. 363 00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:58,631 Speaking of water, I'm gonna go hop 364 00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:00,867 in the shower. Cold shower. 365 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,704 ** 366 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,474 Rodney, she shows up at my house with a cake! 367 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:10,543 As hungry as I am? I'm talking three layers, dog. 368 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,646 See, that's your problem, Tony. You worry about cake, 369 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,949 and she trying to get you some pie. 370 00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:17,985 [ laughter ] 371 00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:20,487 Come on, Rodney. I mean, I love my wife. 372 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,155 And I loved all three of mine! 373 00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:24,958 Okay? Every one of-- well, kind of. 374 00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:27,394 I mean, I mean, sort of. I mean, for the most part. 375 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,829 Okay? But that didn't never stop me 376 00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:31,965 from getting some cake every now and again. 377 00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:36,603 Come on, Ton. Everybody loves a little cake. 378 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,806 Ugh. Tony, man! 379 00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:42,075 Your car's out front doing to look dusty. 380 00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:44,744 I would love to wash it for you if you could tell me 381 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,746 you got with the client chick, double dutch. 382 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:50,317 No, he didn't. And the woman is throwing herself at him, 383 00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,585 and he won't take advantage of the situation. 384 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,354 Cheating on Lisa is not an option, 385 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:56,923 but it does feel good to know that the brother's still got it. 386 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,659 Okay. [ laughing ] 387 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:03,096 What are you talking about? Still got what, Tony? 388 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:05,632 How you still got something you ain't never had? 389 00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:07,800 Wake up, fluffy! 390 00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:09,836 Mm! Fluffy? 391 00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:11,504 You're the one standing there, 392 00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,340 looking like a Jenny Craig before picture. 393 00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:15,308 [ laughter ] 394 00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,510 Look, man. You need to juice with your boy. 395 00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:20,213 Wow. Wow. 396 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,616 This lady has got your head so big, 397 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,952 it has finally exceeded the circumference 398 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:29,356 of my clippers. I can't cover you no more. 399 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,524 Man, I wish this was "Face/Off." 400 00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:33,860 What are you talking about? 401 00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:37,130 Just leave it alone, Rod. This is usually the time where I just tune him out 402 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:39,166 because he'd be on some whole other type of stuff. 403 00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:41,501 Remember the movie "Face/Off," where they switch faces? 404 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,002 I remember "Face/Off." See? 405 00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:44,804 Here it comes. 406 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,040 See, if this was "Face/Off," then you know, I could deal 407 00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:49,309 with the client chick, relieving you of all the guilt 408 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,878 that accompanies infidelity, and you could pay my phone bill 409 00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:54,047 'cause it's about to be cut off. 410 00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:56,483 And I won't even have to ask for a loan, you know, 411 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:59,152 which I would pay back immediately, you know, 412 00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:02,689 a couple of days, three months at the most. 413 00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:06,393 Understand me? Because you would be me! 414 00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:08,495 Oh, so every once in a while, 415 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,663 he'd just leap completely out of reality. 416 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:13,500 Dumb as a stump. 417 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,335 Of course, you know, I'd have to sleep 418 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,936 with Lisa, you know what I mean? 419 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,571 With her getting suspicious. 420 00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:20,006 Ton, Ton, Ton, Ton. 421 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,741 You know, or we could just switch faces 422 00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:24,411 after you pay my phone bill, huh? 423 00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,045 You know what? 424 00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:28,948 I pay my own phone bill. 425 00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:30,217 You all take care. 426 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:34,521 That boy crazy. Cool it down, man. 427 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,356 Cool it down. You see, Ton, 428 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,125 you can't get yourself all riled up. 429 00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:39,959 You understand me? You got a young lady like 430 00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,794 what you look like now, you understand me? 431 00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,463 And let me tell you something. 432 00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,865 That "Face/Off" thing ain't a bad idea, but I think 433 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,701 you got the wrong face. Maybe you could... 434 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,737 Can I just get a haircut, please? 435 00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,405 That's all I need. 436 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:54,241 All right. Let me get on it. 437 00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:56,443 ** 438 00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,589 Busy? 439 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,424 I was just about to call you. We need to talk. 440 00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:14,060 I agree. First, I want to apologize for coming on 441 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,829 to you like I did. It was very disrespectful of me. 442 00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:18,765 And creepy. 443 00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,433 Can I start over? 444 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,236 I'm Lauren Hall. 445 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,004 You used to call me Lazy Eye Lauren 446 00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,739 when we were in elementary. 447 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,108 I'm Tony. I was very mean to you 448 00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:32,011 back in the day, and I'm sorry. 449 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,713 Apology accepted. 450 00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:40,086 Mm! Mm! 451 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,088 Damn it, Tony! 452 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,023 You could've at least waited for us 453 00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:46,326 to switch faces first, man! 454 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:54,434 ** 455 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,469 Wait, Donnie, this ain't what it looks like. 456 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:58,771 This is exactly what it looks like, Donnie. 457 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,808 Look. This ain't none of my business, man. I'm gonna just roll. 458 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,476 No, no. You stay right there. 459 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,378 Hey, man. We've been through a lot together, 460 00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:07,680 but I'm not into watching. I'm into participating, 461 00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:09,782 and, uh, me first. 462 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,117 No, no. 463 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,119 Look. This chick is crazy, okay? 464 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,222 She been on me ever since she was Lazy Eye Lauren, 465 00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:17,224 trying to get me to sleep with her to get the job. 466 00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:18,525 [ laughing ] 467 00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:21,194 There was never any job, Tony. 468 00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:22,529 What? Aw, hell-- 469 00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:23,996 Go get the hell out of my office. 470 00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:25,832 In fact, I will. 471 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:28,167 Maybe I should go have a chat with your wife, 472 00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:31,137 tell her how you propositioned me. 473 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,806 Hey, this is my best friend. I know him like the back of my hand. 474 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,308 He would never cheat on his wife. 475 00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:37,877 You wouldn't cheat on your wife, would you? 476 00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:41,414 No! In fact, I already told her about this whole situation, 477 00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:43,916 and she's on her way up here. She should be here any minute. 478 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:46,219 Uh-oh! About to get crazy. 479 00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:48,421 Look like you about to be Black Eye Lauren. 480 00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:52,359 You know what? Maybe I should go. 481 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:57,630 Oh, and Tony, this ain't over. 482 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:05,905 Damn! She bad as hell. You're better than me, man. 483 00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:08,508 I'd have cleared off this desk. It'd have been a stapler ball. 484 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,343 You know I like it rough. 485 00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,379 Hey, man, but look. You did the right thing, man. 486 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,381 You resisted temptation, and I'm proud of you. 487 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,182 I've got to get up out of here because I have 488 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,017 a little lunch situation I've got to get at. 489 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,952 Hey, Lazy Eye! You hungry? 490 00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:22,555 I've got coupons to The Rib Shack! 491 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:27,794 ** 492 00:20:29,496 --> 00:20:31,264 God is great. God is good. 493 00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:33,766 Let us thank him for this food. Amen. 494 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,769 Aw, Tony. I thought you could last the whole 10 days. 495 00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:38,571 So did I. We were both wrong. 496 00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:41,541 Uh, can you hand me the pepper out of the cabinet, please? 497 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:45,545 Okay, but if you're gonna start eating again, then so am I. 498 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,614 Just remember, you quit first. 499 00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:49,316 Mm. I'm sure you won't let me forget. 500 00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:51,318 Ooh, slice me some of that cake, too. 501 00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:54,654 Yeah... about the cake. 502 00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:56,489 I threw that out. 503 00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:58,925 What? I thought for sure you ate that. 504 00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:02,829 Girl, I'm proud of you. Come here. Mm. 505 00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,731 That-- that is the chocolatiest kiss 506 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,232 I've ever had in my life! 507 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,401 Choc, choc, I don't know what you're talking about! 508 00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:10,169 You broke the fast first! Is that a crumb? 509 00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:13,005 Yeah, keep playing, yeah. Come here! 510 00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:15,442 [ shouting continues ] 511 00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:56,483 [ laughter ] 38377

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