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1
00:00:03,304 --> 00:00:05,973
**
2
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,378
Come on.
This way.
3
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:12,546
Where?
You're good.
4
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,148
What are we doing?
5
00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:16,417
Are their handcuffs
involved in this?
6
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:19,387
Should I call in
late for work?
7
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:21,089
Oh! You wanna do it
on the table?
8
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:22,856
No, we can't do that,
the kids eat on it
9
00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:25,759
Just sit down, okay?
10
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,561
It's for my culinary class.
11
00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:28,829
Oh, okay.
12
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,798
Now, open wide.
13
00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:34,768
Hmm. Oh! Ooh!
That's good!
14
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:36,537
Mmm. Do I detect...
15
00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,739
a hint of vanilla
extract? Hmm? Hmm?
16
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,174
A flutter
of oregano?
17
00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:41,842
It's an eggroll, Tony.
18
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,677
Damn good one.
What else you got?
19
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,246
Uh, ooh.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
20
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:48,182
Try this.
Here we go.
21
00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:51,285
Mmm! I know what that is.
That's spinach dip.
22
00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:53,187
It's hummus, Tony.
23
00:00:53,221 --> 00:00:56,457
That's what I said.
Hummus this tastes
like spinach dip?
24
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:57,558
See the wordplay
I did there?
25
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:58,726
Hummus, how much?
26
00:00:58,759 --> 00:00:59,960
Come on, you can work
with a brother here.
27
00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:01,462
Can I take this blindfold
off now, please?
28
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:02,763
Fine.
29
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:04,998
You're no fun.
30
00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:07,768
I'm saying this little
cooking class thing is
gonna be all right.
31
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:09,237
What else do they offer
at that school?
32
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:11,439
Housekeeping 101?
33
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:12,706
Intro to Ironing?
34
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,642
Do they offer a doctorate
in dishwashing?
35
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:15,943
You know, I don't know,
36
00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:19,647
but they do offer
advanced celibacy.
37
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,149
Cooking's cool.
Cooking's cool.
38
00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:23,851
* Woke up and my wife
said to me *
39
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:26,220
* The bill collectors
want their fee *
40
00:01:26,254 --> 00:01:28,456
* The kids keep talking
back to me *
41
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,591
* Family Time
42
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,493
* Family time, Family Time
43
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:36,230
* Family Time
44
00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:38,566
**
45
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,568
(sniffing)
46
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,671
Yo, it smells like
cake in here.
47
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,873
I got dibs on
licking the bowl.
48
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:48,075
Uh-uh, my brother.
You got to get your own.
49
00:01:48,176 --> 00:01:49,643
Look, you get your
own one,
50
00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:51,179
then you call dibs
on licking the bowl.
51
00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:53,414
I actually do got my
own woman at school.
52
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,048
Okay. Well, I suggest you
get her to bake you something
53
00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:56,284
in her little
Easy-Bake Oven.
54
00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:58,186
Tony!
What?
55
00:01:58,186 --> 00:02:00,621
He started it.
56
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,356
Mom, I need to talk
to you about
57
00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:04,458
this whole "you going
back to school" thing.
58
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,960
What happened to being
a stay-at-home mom?
59
00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:08,262
I know you want a career,
60
00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:10,431
but who's gonna
take care of me?
61
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,200
Uh, well, I wonder
what happened
62
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,668
to the good old days
when kids would
clean their rooms
63
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:15,769
and listen to
their parents
64
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,037
and play with
their friends.
65
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,339
That's kind of
what I wonder.
66
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:19,973
But okay. You want me
to take care of you.
67
00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:21,675
Where's your homework?
Let me see that.
How about that?
68
00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,711
See, that's my point.
69
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:26,347
You don't have time to be
worried about my homework.
70
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:28,349
You should be focusing
on your career.
71
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:29,983
Mmm.
72
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:32,886
That spinach dip
looks bomb.
73
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,622
(crunching)
74
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:38,626
Tony!
Hmm?
75
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,294
That's your son.
76
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:42,129
(telephone rings)
77
00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:43,464
Hello.
78
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:46,334
Oh! What's up, Uncle John?
What's happening, baby?
79
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:47,535
Oh, you in town?
80
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:49,237
Well, you better
come on by.
81
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:50,904
Yeah! I mean, we'd love
to have you.
82
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:53,707
That's right.
Well, bring your appetite.
83
00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:55,276
Okay, we'll see you later.
84
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:56,710
Who was that?
85
00:02:56,744 --> 00:02:58,912
You remember my godparents,
Gladys and Uncle John.
86
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:01,014
Yeah, they're in town,
so I told them to
swing by for dinner.
87
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:02,483
Oh, let me guess.
88
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,017
You expect me to
cook this dinner.
89
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,553
Absolutely.
90
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:07,788
I ain't paying for culinary
school for you to cook less.
91
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:10,691
Besides, this'll give you
a chance to cook, you know,
92
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,560
for an unbiased audience.
93
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,528
People in this house
will tell you whatever
you want to hear.
94
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,630
Hey, guys.
Hello.
95
00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:20,968
That's disgusting.
96
00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:25,273
It's amazing how much
she looks like you.
97
00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:31,279
Mmm. Smells so good.
98
00:03:31,279 --> 00:03:33,547
Baby, can you just put that
on the table right here?
99
00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,816
All right.
(doorbell rings)
100
00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:44,358
Tony!
Hey!
101
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:47,395
You look good, boy!
102
00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:48,629
Hey, don't he look
good, Gladys?
103
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,130
Oh! Ha!
104
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:51,899
All handsome,
all grown-up!
105
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:53,734
Oh! There's my
beautiful niece.
106
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,836
Hi, Aunt Gladys.
107
00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,371
Hey, kids! Your aunt
and uncle are here!
108
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,139
Come on down and say hi!
109
00:04:01,509 --> 00:04:03,611
Who are these
big kids?
110
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,946
That can't be
Darren and Ebony.
111
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:07,214
It's Devin.
112
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:08,316
How you doing,
Uncle John?
113
00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:11,084
Hi, Aunt Gladys.
Hi, baby.
114
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:13,454
Get over here and give your
aunty a nice big hug.
115
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,228
Oh, so good
to see everybody.
116
00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:22,763
Yeah, it's gonna be
even better after we eat.
117
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,398
Who's hungry?
118
00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:31,104
Oh, Lisa, you did your
thing in the kitchen, girl.
119
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:33,206
Thank you, Uncle John.
There's plenty more.
120
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:34,608
Anybody want seconds?
121
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,109
Oh, no, no, no.
122
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:38,412
I ate way more than
I should have.
123
00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:40,348
Oh, no worries.
124
00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:42,750
He'll work it off later.
125
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,519
Hope you mean by taking
a leisurely stroll.
126
00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:48,188
Yeah, something
like that.
127
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:49,390
Well, Uncle John,
128
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:50,958
I've been patient
long enough.
129
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:53,361
What'd you bring us?
Devin.
130
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,162
Oh, no, no,
David's right.
131
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:57,898
He knows we always bring
the kids a little souvenir
132
00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:00,434
from our many,
many travels.
133
00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:03,671
(laughs)
We got this one
for you, Ebony.
134
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:04,872
Aw!
135
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,507
(whispering)
She looks dead.
136
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:09,677
Ebony, the proper response
is "Thank you."
137
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,479
Thank you,
Aunt Gladys...
138
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:14,948
for my creepy-looking doll
that I will never play with.
139
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:17,518
And, Devante...
140
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:20,488
It's Devin!
141
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,289
You're into semantics?
142
00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:23,924
Well, since you're
a smart young man,
143
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:27,528
we brought you
a mind twister.
144
00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:30,263
Little something new
on the market.
145
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:31,699
Wow.
146
00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:33,834
This is what
I've always wanted.
147
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,703
A square with
more squares on it.
148
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:39,106
It's a Rubik's Cube.
You know, a puzzle.
149
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:40,708
You have to make all the sides
the same color.
150
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:43,076
That's no puzzle.
That's easy.
151
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:45,078
I can bust this out
right now.
152
00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,980
So, where are
you guys staying?
153
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,649
Well, we were gonna
stay with your parents,
154
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,317
but they went fishing
for the weekend.
155
00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:51,519
Oh, that's right.
156
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:53,421
And we were gonna stay at
the hotel down the street,
157
00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:55,055
but they're all
booked up.
158
00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:56,724
Must be some kind of
convention in town.
159
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,759
Oh. All the hotels?
Mm-hmm.
160
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,461
Even the motels?
161
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:01,629
Motel? No.
162
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,431
Lisa, Lisa, wait.
You know what?
163
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,232
I forgot. I got to show you
something in the kitchen.
164
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:07,000
Would you please
excuse us?
165
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:11,972
He probably just wants to
tell me how good dinner was.
166
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,974
Listen, I love my
godparents to death,
167
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:15,476
but they cannot
stay here.
168
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,445
Why? I mean, we have
a guest bedroom.
169
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:19,613
Let's just finish the evening
and let them go.
170
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:21,982
Oh--
No, no, no, no buts,
no buts.
171
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,350
Trust your man
on this one.
172
00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:24,985
That doesn't make
any sense.
173
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:28,055
We need to get on so we can
get up on that road, girl.
174
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:30,290
Well, that's
a six-hour drive.
175
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,626
Oh, no, don't worry
about us.
176
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:34,061
We'll be all right.
Ha ha.
177
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:36,329
As long as John's narcolepsy
doesn't kick in.
178
00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:38,265
(snoring)
179
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:39,833
Oh. I'm up.
I'm up.
180
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:42,770
No. This is just
silly, okay?
181
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:44,938
We have an extra
bedroom upstairs.
182
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:47,107
We would love it if
you'd just stay with us
a night or two.
183
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,610
Lisa, what the--
Fantastic idea.
184
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:50,644
(laughs)
185
00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:53,213
That sounds great.
Thank you.
186
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,382
(laughs nervously)
187
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:59,887
**
188
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:06,126
See, Tony?
They are already gone.
189
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:08,061
I don't know what
you were so worried about.
190
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:12,065
Five, four, three,
two, one.
191
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:15,368
Tony! Lisa!
What are you kids up to?
192
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:17,270
You gotta learn
to trust your man.
193
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:19,172
Uncle John, we thought
you'd already left.
194
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:20,674
No, no.
195
00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:23,677
Gladys and I never get
a chance to really see
you and the kids.
196
00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:27,180
So we figured we'd put that
guest bedroom to good use
197
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:29,116
and stick around
for a few days.
198
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,084
What is that,
a California King up in there?
199
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,853
No, no, no, that's
a regular King.
200
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:36,657
Is that my rob you have on?
Oh. Yeah.
201
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,659
If that's a problem,
I can take it off.
202
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:40,694
No, no! Please!
203
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:43,531
No, no. Uncle John,
it is fine, okay?
204
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,065
Tony has plenty
of robes.
205
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:46,634
But, Lisa, that's
my favorite robe.
206
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,802
Um, uh, uh, are those
my swim trunks?
207
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:51,404
Tony, you got to learn
to live a little bit.
208
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:52,806
You can't just be
coming home
209
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,042
worrying about who's
wearing your swimming trunks.
210
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:58,311
Why don't you kids
join me in the Jacuzzi?
211
00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:00,180
Uh, you know what?
I will take a rain check.
212
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:01,248
I gotta cook dinner.
213
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:04,417
No need, Lisa.
No need.
214
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:06,887
I brought Chinese!
215
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,356
But I have to practice
cooking for my cooking class.
216
00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:11,559
Oh, well, I'm sorry,
but I thought the kids--
217
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:13,360
Kids!
218
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:18,298
I thought the kids
would like something
219
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,000
a little different
for a change.
220
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:23,771
Oh. Speaking of kids,
what are you two wearing?
221
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,372
Momma, help me.
222
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:27,140
I look like the black
Wednesday Adams.
223
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,642
Exactly!
224
00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:31,745
Ha ha! Don't they look
adorable?
225
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:34,014
Oh, and look at
my little Devin.
226
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,816
Oh, give your aunty
some sugar.
227
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,217
Mwah!
228
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,820
Well, Wednesday,
why don't you come help me
229
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,789
bake this cake for
cooking class?
230
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:44,758
(laughs)
Come on, boo.
231
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,594
You trying to get my kid
beat up at school?
232
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,629
Where do you even find
something like that?
233
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,631
And why's he wearing
my swim trunks?
234
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:53,000
Oh, honey, don't worry.
He won't be using those.
235
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,035
Oh!
236
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:59,172
**
237
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,844
Hey, Tony.
Huh?!
238
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,946
(sighs)
What are you so jumpy about?
239
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,281
I thought you were them.
240
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:09,850
Tony, you know,
I was thinking--
241
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,119
Don't try it.
Don't you even try it, Lisa.
242
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:13,353
I warned you.
Didn't I warn you?
243
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,856
But no. You had to give them
the guest bedroom.
244
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:19,292
Now guess what, Randy Jackson,
now they in it to win it.
245
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,629
Well, you know
it's just temporary.
246
00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:22,963
They'll go home eventually.
247
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,965
We don't even know
that they have a home.
248
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:27,534
They're like cancer.
They metastasize.
249
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:29,202
Soon they're gonna spread
to the master bedroom
250
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:31,404
and slip their names
onto the deed.
251
00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:34,141
Don't you think you're
overreacting just a little bit?
252
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,309
No.
253
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:37,811
(water bubbling)
254
00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:40,648
What? Wait a minute.
What is that noise?
255
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:44,151
I know that's not what
I think it is at this hour.
256
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:46,319
Oh. Tony, Tony you gotta
say something to them.
257
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,488
You know we got
white neighbors.
258
00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:59,967
I know y'all ain't in
the Jacuzzi at this hour.
259
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,402
Not yet. We waited for them
bubbles to warm up.
260
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,436
Y'all want to
get in with us?
261
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:05,338
No. We have neighbors.
262
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,340
Neighbors that you need
to get to know.
263
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,376
The Johnsons from
next door gave us
264
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,945
this cheese and crackers
to go with the champagne.
265
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,613
Wait. Where'd you
get that champagne?
266
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:15,448
From your wine cabinet.
267
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:20,220
That is a $300 bottle
of champagne
268
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,089
that I was saving for
a special occasion!
269
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:25,125
Isn't tonight
a special occasion?
270
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:28,495
How often do you get
to spend quality time
with your godparents?
271
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:31,932
Tony, you need to learn
to enjoy your life.
272
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,734
Use your amenities.
273
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,203
That Jacuzzi had
cobwebs all over it.
274
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:38,605
John's right!
Now slip on out of that.
275
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,774
Come on and jump on in
with us.
276
00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:43,143
Enjoy some of this
delicious coconut cake.
277
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,478
Lisa, girl, you put your
foot up in this one.
278
00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:46,847
Oh, no.
279
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,382
You did not eat
my coconut cake!
280
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:52,119
Not all of it.
We saved some for y'all.
281
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,321
But that was
for my class.
282
00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:55,789
You bake this good,
283
00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:59,359
you need to be
teaching that class.
284
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:03,463
Still think I'm overreacting?
285
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,733
I'm good.
286
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,135
**
287
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:12,539
Come on in here, woman,
close the door.
288
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:13,874
This ain't the time
to get nasty.
289
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:15,242
We got our own room for that.
290
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,476
Why are we meeting
in Devin's room?
291
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,178
'Cause they won't
look for us in here.
292
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:19,747
Now all they do is talk,
talk and more talk.
293
00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:21,214
I'm tired of talking.
294
00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:23,116
I wanna go back to where it's
my house where I can watch TV,
295
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:24,484
where I'm the king
of the remote.
296
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,919
Oh, trust me, I know.
297
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:28,455
I had to tell my teacher that my
godparents ate my homework.
298
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:30,758
Luckily, he's never heard
that excuse before,
299
00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:33,426
so he's letting me redo it.
300
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,962
(door opening)
301
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:37,330
Get in here,
close the door.
302
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,399
Come on, come on,
come on.
303
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,802
Y'all two hiding out
in my bedroom?
304
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,470
We need to talk.
305
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:46,306
Yeah, that's right.
It's time for a family meeting.
306
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:49,977
You two, sit down.
307
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:53,080
Now obviously, there is
no secret that...
308
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,481
we have a problem.
309
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,149
I mean, look at how
we're dressed.
310
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:58,318
Yeah, but that's--
But nothing.
311
00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:01,288
When you're under my roof,
you follow my rules.
312
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:04,324
I talk, you listen.
313
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:07,094
I mean, well,
it's your roof.
314
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,495
But they gotta go!
315
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,864
Okay, now just calm down.
316
00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:12,465
Tony, you gotta handle this.
317
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:13,967
What? I'm the one
that told you
318
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:15,803
that they shouldn't be here
in the first place.
319
00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:18,806
You didn't tell me they were
gonna take over the whole house.
320
00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:20,808
Hey, it doesn't matter
who did what when.
321
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:25,112
We have a problem,
and, Dad, you need to man up.
322
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:26,814
It's simple.
323
00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:29,616
Tell 'em they need to kick rocks
and kiss them goodbye.
324
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:31,118
Oh, no, no, no.
325
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,987
Kiss-- I ain't doing
no more kissing.
326
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:36,189
Her moustache tickles.
327
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:38,591
Okay, okay, look, I get it.
328
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:41,028
I'm gonna have to do what I have
to do and handle it
329
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:43,196
like I handle everything
around here, hmm.
330
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:44,631
Show y'all how to do this.
331
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:47,400
Uh, y'all coming
with me, right?
332
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,843
(TV playing)
333
00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:02,149
Uh, Uncle John?
334
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:05,185
Hey, there's my family.
Ha ha.
335
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:08,288
You know, when I had
my triple bypass,
336
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:11,558
it was y'all that made
life worth living again.
337
00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:13,060
So, hey,
338
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:16,897
how's that Rubik's Cube
coming along, d'Artagnan?
339
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:18,598
d'Artagnan? Really?
340
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,968
Now that's just
disrespectful.
341
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:23,670
Hey, Tony, you need
to upgrade your cable.
342
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:25,638
You don't have any of
the premium channels.
343
00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:27,674
No, no, but I get "GetFlix."
344
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,242
Yeah, they got some good
movies on there.
345
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:31,879
They got this one called
"House Guests From Hell."
346
00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:34,347
Have you seen it?
No, what's that about?
347
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:38,218
It's a horror film about
a happy, happy household
348
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:40,387
who gets taken over
by houseguests
349
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,255
who can't take a hint.
350
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:45,993
Wow, that sounds good.
Let's watch it.
351
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,028
Actually, it's on right now.
352
00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:52,966
Uh, Dad, didn't you have
something else to say?
353
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,569
Yeah, Pops, he gave you
the perfect segue.
354
00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:02,509
Tony, something you
wanted to say?
355
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,477
Hey, you know, you can talk
to me, tell me anything.
356
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:08,015
Come on, you're-- you're
like the son I never had.
357
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,050
Hmm.
358
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,684
Yeah, um...
(clearing throat)
359
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:14,922
Well, uh, it's like this.
Um...
360
00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:16,489
Lisa, what was it
I was gonna say?
361
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:19,426
Um, Ebony, what was it?
362
00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,129
I don't believe this.
363
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:23,730
Watch your mouth, d'Artagnan.
364
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:26,699
John, we've done it again.
365
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:28,201
We've done what again?
366
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:30,003
Overstayed our welcome.
367
00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,371
I told you we should've left.
368
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:34,507
No, don't be
ridiculous.
369
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:37,344
This is family. They don't
want us to leave, right?
370
00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:41,248
See? See? Oh!
371
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,350
I am so embarrassed.
372
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,519
I don't see how you are so
clueless to the fact
373
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,855
that these young people, they
just want their house back.
374
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:51,791
No, no, now, see,
it's not quite like that.
375
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:53,961
Well, then you say
I'm the clueless one.
376
00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:56,429
But the only time you ever
pay me any attention
377
00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:58,065
is when we're in
somebody else's house.
378
00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:01,101
Well, maybe if you
didn't stay out
379
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,970
till all hours of the night
working late,
380
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:05,872
I would have someone to pay
attention to at home.
381
00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:07,440
Are you gonna get
into this again?
382
00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:11,311
Well, maybe if I had a clean
home to come home to,
383
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,613
I wouldn't be out
working late.
384
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:16,449
Well, don't you worry, you don't
ever have to come home to me.
385
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:17,450
I'm done.
386
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:18,851
Uh, you know what?
387
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:20,420
Maybe we should let you guys
have some time alone--
388
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:22,622
Sit down!
389
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,291
Comfortable chair.
390
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,826
What do you mean, done?
391
00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,395
Just what I said.
392
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,430
Lisa, Tony, your uncle
will be leaving.
393
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,732
And if you don't mind, I'd like
to stay here for a while
394
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:36,469
until I figure out what to do
with the rest of my life.
395
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,505
And how long
is that gonna be?
396
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:39,539
What?
397
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:44,844
**
398
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:53,020
I am really sorry
about this whole thing.
399
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,921
Honestly, if Tony
and I would have
400
00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:56,556
just been honest
from the beginning,
401
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,091
this wouldn't have
gotten out of hand.
402
00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,793
No, no, no, what was said
needed to be said.
403
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:03,196
I've been feeling like this
for a long time.
404
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:04,697
Really?
405
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,600
But you and Uncle John
always seemed so happy.
406
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,702
Seem is the operative word.
407
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:11,671
We've been fronting
for years.
408
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:14,341
Now I've got a chance
to live.
409
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,476
Wow. What is it
you really wanna do?
410
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,111
I wanna see the world.
411
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:19,812
He wants to sit around
the house.
412
00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:22,082
Or other people's houses.
413
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,151
Uh, I didn't mean that
as an insult.
414
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:25,818
I was just, uh,
just stating the facts.
415
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:27,387
Hmm.
416
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:28,888
Well, you're
absolutely right.
417
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:30,357
So I've made a decision.
418
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:32,659
I'm gonna go on that cruise,
but I'm going by myself.
419
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,261
But what about Uncle John?
420
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,696
His alimony will
be paying for it.
421
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,968
**
422
00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:53,213
(blues music playing)
423
00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:59,686
The most you should ever spend
on a woman in a bar is $25.
424
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,821
Tip included.
425
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,723
I knew I'd find you here.
426
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:06,093
Hey, Tony, my man.
427
00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:08,361
Barkeep, give my godson here
whatever he's drinking.
428
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,830
No, it's all right,
I just came to, uh--
429
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,465
To take me home.
430
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:14,767
I know what you're up to,
and it's not gonna work.
431
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:17,337
It's over between me
and that woman.
432
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,906
Uncle John, you guys have
been married 40 years.
433
00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:21,174
Doesn't that count
for something?
434
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:24,411
Yeah, well, when you
get there, call me.
435
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,946
We'll talk about it.
436
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:30,217
You know, never thought
about it like that.
437
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,352
Hmm, makes me wanna rethink
my own situation.
438
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,288
The same woman
for 40 years. Whoo!
439
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:36,556
Maybe I should send Lisa
440
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:38,725
on that singles cruise
with Aunt Gladys.
441
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:41,294
What singles cruise is that?
442
00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:43,530
You know, the one with all
them young single brothers
443
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,132
and them older,
cougar women.
444
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:46,366
She didn't get her
pension yet, has she?
445
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,734
Anyway, she's booking it
right now.
446
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:50,570
She been talking about going on
a cruise for ten years.
447
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,239
Them things ain't cheap.
448
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:55,242
Oh, what you worried about it
for? You a free man now.
449
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,244
Matter of fact, we at
the strip club after this.
450
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:59,146
Could I get a couple
of shots, barkeep?
451
00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:01,514
And we gonna need some singles,
a whole lot of them.
452
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:02,949
I'm thirsty now.
453
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:04,884
You know what I mean?
454
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,653
Hook a brother up.
455
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:09,789
Whatever he's drinking.
456
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:12,825
**
457
00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:16,996
Now, Aunt Gladys, are you
sure you wanna do this?
458
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:18,731
Oh, I'm sure.
459
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,168
I should've done it
a long time ago.
460
00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:22,935
(door opening)
461
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:26,173
So, you're going on
a singles cruise, huh?
462
00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:29,642
Damn, Tony, you can't
hold water.
463
00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:31,678
No, no, Lisa,
that's all right.
464
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:34,647
He needed to hear that.
465
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:36,183
What's the matter, John?
466
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:38,785
Aren't you going to be
too busy working late
467
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,920
to care about where I'm going?
468
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,022
Look, I didn't come here to get
into an argument with you.
469
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:44,691
I came here to tell you that--
470
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:45,925
Well...
471
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,195
If you're going on
a singles cruise,
472
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:51,464
then I'm going on a singles
cruise, too.
473
00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:54,401
Well, fine.
Well, fine.
474
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,936
May I, uh, make
a suggestion here?
475
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,606
Now, since you two are
both going on cruises,
476
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:03,009
maybe it'll be cheaper if you,
you know, buy a room together.
477
00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:05,011
Yeah, you don't even have
to like each other.
478
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:06,246
It'll just save you
a little bit of money.
479
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:08,615
Yeah, as a matter of fact,
we will pay for it.
480
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,218
We will?
I mean, of course, we will.
481
00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:12,552
You know what?
482
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:14,454
Just as long as it's a cruise
that leaves in the morning.
483
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:18,325
That's-- that's not
a bad idea.
484
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:20,493
We'll pay you back as soon
as we come back for a visit.
485
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:21,928
No, no, consider it a gift.
486
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:26,499
Well, I guess I put up with
you for this long, I guess...
487
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:29,236
bunking with you on a cruise
ship is not the worst.
488
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:32,439
Are those suitcases?
Are y'all leaving?
489
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:35,542
Yeah, Devin, your aunt and I
are hitting the road.
490
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:37,544
Or, should I say,
the high seas?
491
00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:40,247
Oh, so soon?
492
00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:42,048
We gotta go, but we'll
keep in touch.
493
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:45,818
Now come over here, give your
auntie a big hug.
494
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:46,953
(chuckling)
Oh.
495
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:49,289
Now, Aunt Gladys,
I've been eating onions.
496
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:50,523
Boy, don't you be silly.
497
00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:53,526
Get over here and give your
auntie some sugar.
498
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,128
(kissing)
499
00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:59,165
**
500
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,443
I baked them cakes,
baby, ay-ay.
501
00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:12,144
I baked them cakes,
baby, ay-ay.
502
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:13,246
Why are you in
such a good mood?
503
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:17,617
Whoo! Guess who got
an A-plus on her cake?
504
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:20,420
Wait a minute.
When did you have time
to bake another cake?
505
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,289
Oh, I didn't,
the bakery did.
506
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:23,923
And you know what?
They did so well,
507
00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:26,493
I got put into
the advanced class.
Okay!
508
00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:29,762
Well, do they have a class to
figure out this stupid thing?
509
00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:32,365
As long as we figured out
how to get them to leave,
510
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:33,766
we won.
511
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,803
Boy, let me see that.
512
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,705
Okay.
513
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,173
Let me just do this.
514
00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:43,376
And that.
515
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:46,245
Duh, easy.
516
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:51,050
Now, does the D in your name
stand for Devin or dummy?
517
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:55,121
Man, dummy's not as bad
as d'Artagnan.
518
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:57,457
It is true.
37505
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