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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:18,686 [man on tv] 2 00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:22,890 Daddy's home. 3 00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,925 Ahem! I said daddy's home. 4 00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:27,428 Shh! Love that girl is on. 5 00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:30,364 - tatyana ali got backs. - she sure do. 6 00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:34,168 Boy, you shh me One more time, I'm gonna Knock the shh out of you. 7 00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:38,106 - where's your sister at? - who cares? 8 00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:40,908 What are we having for dinner? 9 00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:44,245 Am I at the right address? 10 00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:47,515 Boy, you pop off at The mouth one more time, You gonna be eatin' 11 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:50,050 Your dinner through a straw. Keep them pants up. 12 00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:52,086 Ain't nobody wanna see Them skid-marked drawers. 13 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:56,290 Whatever, pops. Don't hate on the swag. 14 00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:58,626 Swag? Boy, What you know about swag? 15 00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:00,528 Now billy dee williams, 16 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,864 He had swag and a bad perm. 17 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,933 Billy who? 18 00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:08,569 Boy, what are you, 13? 19 00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:09,903 Yes. 20 00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:11,939 What, you think You got more swag than me? 21 00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:13,441 Without a doubt. 22 00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:16,444 Don't make me pull out My frankie, beverly, maze cd. 23 00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:18,912 What's a cd? 24 00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:21,282 Pitiful. 25 00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,584 - [stereo turns on] - yeah. 26 00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:26,620 - mm-mm, I like this one. - I know you don't want 27 00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:28,722 - to go there. - go ahead, boy. 28 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:31,292 Let's see what You're workin' with, boy. 29 00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:34,562 This is all we needed here, A little two-step. 30 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,597 Ugh. Put a little Stanky like that. 31 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:39,333 You feel me Just a little bit. Oh! Damn! 32 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,068 That is a cramp. 33 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:44,071 What are you two wild and crazy Kids doin' down here? 34 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,140 And devin, Pull your pants up. 35 00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:48,742 And get your ass Off that table. 36 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:51,245 I might need some ice, baby. 37 00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:53,914 Ah, what exactly Are you tryin' to prove? 38 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:57,451 - that I still got some swag. - you clearly still got it. 39 00:01:57,485 --> 00:02:01,355 You just need A walker to carry it. 40 00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:02,856 - ha-ha-ha! - keep it up. 41 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,594 * woke up And my wife said to me * 42 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,430 * the bill collectors Want their fees * 43 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,865 * the kids keep talkin' Back to me * 44 00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:14,101 * family time 45 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,437 * scrub the dishes, Take out the trash * 46 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,639 * history homework Sometimes math * 47 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,941 * the kids are gone We're free at last * 48 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,277 * family time 49 00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:25,112 * family time, family time 50 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,281 * family time 51 00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:29,983 * family time, family time 52 00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:32,119 - * family time - * oh, sing it again 53 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,455 * family time, Family time * 54 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:37,825 * family time 55 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,138 You always got Something smart to say. 56 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,040 What's wrong with What I got on? 57 00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:55,643 It's fine attire If you're a mechanic. 58 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,045 Next time we'll Do something you enjoy, 59 00:02:58,078 --> 00:03:00,914 Like changing out The septic tank. 60 00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,816 Man, you need To get over yourself. 61 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,885 You grew up near rodeo, Not ro-de-o. 62 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:07,087 I live beverly hills adjacent. 63 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,657 When you're no longer King boulevard adjacent, 64 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,226 Hol-- ahem-- give me a call. 65 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:15,763 - oh hey, todd. - lisa. 66 00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:18,232 - what are you two up to? - well, I just got finished 67 00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:20,601 Beating the pants off Your husband...Again. 68 00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,836 - [chuckling] - whatever. 69 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,572 He's a cheater. 70 00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:27,441 Are you gonna stay for dinner? I can set another plate. 71 00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:31,612 Oh, no. Vivian and I are going To the chateau marmont tonight. 72 00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:36,183 Oh, you don't know Anything about that. It's north on wilshire. 73 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,086 All right. But we'll be having Dinner at the emperor's palace, 74 00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:42,523 - chateau burger king. - anyway. 75 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:45,225 Your dad called When you two were out. He wants to know 76 00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:47,895 What you have planned for Your mom's 65th birthday party. 77 00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:49,897 Ah yeah, that's right. 78 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,465 Oh, you forgot about that, huh? 79 00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:53,767 Yeah, vivian and I have been Talking about it for days. 80 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:56,870 We were thinking about Getting mother a cruise. 81 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:59,206 Yeah, right. As selfish as you are. 82 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:02,142 I resent that, anthony. And you're gonna Take that back. 83 00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:04,111 I'm not taking nothin' back. Just 'cause you went to harvard, 84 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,613 You ain't no better. 85 00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:08,316 I bet neither one of you Remembered her birthday. 86 00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:10,718 Of course. It's november 6th. 87 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,720 Wrong. It's the 11th, Thank you. 88 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:15,889 Wrong. It's the 13th. 89 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,492 Just admit it. You both forgot. 90 00:04:18,526 --> 00:04:21,562 No, I didn't. I was talkin' about the day She was born again. 91 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,831 Mm, okay. And what's your excuse? 92 00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:27,335 Ah...Um, well... 93 00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,403 - it was because... - whatever. 94 00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:31,405 It doesn't matter. All I can say 95 00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:34,808 Is you better think of something 'cause you know how she is. 96 00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:37,345 Why don't we just Do something intimate here? 97 00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,146 Gumbo again? 98 00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:42,583 I do not know what type of mama You got conjured up in your head 99 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,085 But my mama loves gumbo. And if I remember correctly, 100 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:48,255 I think she dropped A hint a while back about Having an intimate dinner 101 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,491 - for her birthday. - whatever it is, 102 00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:51,959 You two figure it out. 103 00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:54,595 I'm gonna put another Load of clothes in. 104 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:58,332 So you actually Married the help. 105 00:04:58,366 --> 00:05:01,569 So what are you Gonna get mother? 106 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,779 What do you think of this? 107 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,447 Where'd you Steal that from? 108 00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:15,616 I didn't. The guy I both it from did. 109 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:19,453 What? I can't afford to buy mama Something nice for her birthday? 110 00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:22,122 With all your Hard-earned lottery winnings? 111 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:25,826 It's actually Worth about 10 grand, But I only paid 1500. 112 00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:28,629 Does lisa have Something like that? 113 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,664 Well, I originally Bought it for lisa, 114 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:32,966 But since she's rockin' This big diamond house, 115 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,035 - I don't have to. - [chuckles] 116 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:37,638 - what's that for? - what? 117 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,373 That little ha-ha-ha-ha. 118 00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:41,675 I know your little Sarcastic laugh. 119 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,911 If you give that to mom, You're gonna have to have 120 00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,479 A bigger one In that box for lisa. 121 00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:47,581 - what're talkin' about? - I'm saying, 122 00:05:47,615 --> 00:05:49,983 If you give that to mom, You're gonna Move back in with mom. 123 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:52,386 I know what this is, That's a straight hater move. 124 00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:54,488 You just don't want me To give her the better gift. 125 00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:55,989 What are you talkin' about? 126 00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:58,158 Your vivian may be that shallow But not my lisa. 127 00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,561 All women are shallow. It's in their nature. 128 00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:02,195 [giggling] 129 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:04,498 Look, I'm just Tryin' to help you out. 130 00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:06,567 Why don't you Help yourself out the door? 131 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,335 Oh. Okay, great. Okay, great. 132 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:11,071 But you know what? When lisa sees that, 133 00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:13,707 It's gonna be a gift For the entire family. 134 00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:15,108 [giggling] 135 00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:18,879 [giggling continues] 136 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,191 Hey baby, I just want to thank you 137 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,594 For agreeing to throw this party For my mama last minute. 138 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:36,029 Oh baby, when I threw Your mom's 64th birthday, 139 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,966 I already knew I would be Planning her 65th, too. 140 00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,034 'cause you Always got my back. 141 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,937 Don't you forget it. 142 00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:46,039 - ooh, you know what? - huh? 143 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,742 We haven't christened The living room yet. 144 00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:50,644 And the kids Are sound asleep. 145 00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:52,145 I know that's right, girl. 146 00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:53,881 Come here. 147 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,049 Wait. Let me ask you something. I was talkin' to this friend... 148 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,552 Okay, wait. You with your wife, We're about to get busy 149 00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:02,723 And you wanna Talk about this friend? Times have changed. 150 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,092 You're right. I'm trippin'. My bad. My bad. 151 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:08,596 See, but the thing is If my friend wants to buy His mama a mercedes... 152 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,263 I'm basically Throwing myself at you 153 00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:11,832 And you wanna Talk about your moms. 154 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:14,602 I don't know who you are. I might have to get myself 155 00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,570 A little boy toy. 156 00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:19,439 Girl, if you don't stop playing. Bring yourself over here. 157 00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:23,577 See, but the thing is, The mercedes is "really" nice. 158 00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:26,814 I'm talkin' about 35 miles highway, 20 on the city. 159 00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:30,250 And he's gettin' A real good deal 'cause It's missing a back bumper. 160 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,252 But the thing is, It's nicer than his wife's car. 161 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:36,857 Okay. I don't care If you get your moms a mercedes. 162 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,426 Girl, I'm not talkin' about me. I'm talkin' about my friend. 163 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,995 My friend wants to get His mom a mercedes. 164 00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:44,765 But his brother said that His wife would be mad 165 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:48,636 Because she ain't even Got a car let alone a mercedes. 166 00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:51,772 Okay, I can't Figure out who's who in this Rambling situation 167 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,707 That's preventing me From gettin' some. 168 00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:55,342 But I can tell you about me. 169 00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,444 I'm an artist, I love my husband, 170 00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,313 I love my family And I love my art. 171 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:04,618 I don't care about Materialistic crap Like mercedes. 172 00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:07,120 And that's why I love you. 173 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,489 Love you, too. 174 00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:31,579 - mm. - hey, hey, hey, hey. 175 00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:33,380 Get out of my pots, tony. 176 00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:35,549 But it smells so good. Listen, baby. 177 00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:39,186 I just want to say thank you For hooking this all up On such short notice. 178 00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,421 I know, mama's boy. 179 00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:43,691 I'm gonna be Daddy's girl tonight. 180 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,058 [doorbell rings] 181 00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:47,294 Okay. 182 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,438 Well, hello there, Brother-in-law. 183 00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,173 Vivian. 184 00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:02,743 - todd. - simpleton. 185 00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:05,178 You still Drinkin' that hater-ade? 186 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,847 Whatever. 187 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,749 Careful with that. It's fragile. 188 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,217 Like you? 189 00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,724 - hey, vivian. - hi, lisa. 190 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:20,794 Oh, it smells so spicy in here. I just love chitterlings. 191 00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:22,863 Chitlins. And I don't eat those. 192 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,632 Oh. Well, You've got to try 'em. 193 00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,867 Anyway, I brought your mom's Favorite pie. 194 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,436 - oh, is that sweet potato? - what's that? 195 00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:31,705 - no, I brought pumpkin. - pumpkin? 196 00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,641 I thought Pumpkin pie was a myth. 197 00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,709 - let's put this in the kitchen. - okay. 198 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,544 Thank you. 199 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,880 So, are you still Gonna give it to her? 200 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,715 - hell, yeah. - [laughing] 201 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,216 She's gonna love it. 202 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,452 [doorbell rings] 203 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:48,221 Uh-uh, I'll get it. This is my house. 204 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:49,990 Okay, smart guy. 205 00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:55,729 Hey, dad. 206 00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,230 Where's mom at? 207 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:58,899 Oh, she's hobbling on up here. 208 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,768 She said Something about her gout. 209 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:03,503 I stopped listening Halfway through. 210 00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,773 How are you? 211 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,574 You all right, mom? 212 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,076 Ooh. 213 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:12,512 Your father is so rude. You could've waited. 214 00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:15,248 After all, It is my birthday. 215 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,617 - happy birthday, mom. - happy birthday, mother. 216 00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:18,986 How are you? 217 00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:20,921 Oh, a little touch Of bursitis in my shoulder. 218 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,756 I thought Dad said it was your gout. 219 00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:25,425 No that, too. Could you help me Over to the couch? 220 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,995 I'll do it. No. Seniority. 221 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,763 Thank you. Oh-- 222 00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:33,767 - careful. Careful. - oh, thank you, honey. 223 00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,335 Move! 224 00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:43,811 Happy birthday, beverly. 225 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,445 Oh, hello dear. 226 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,280 Are you Enjoying your birthday? 227 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,783 Well, I would be Enjoying it a little more 228 00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:52,052 If someone Offered me a little drink. 229 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:53,553 I'm parched. 230 00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,956 You don't have any Arsenic over there, do you? 231 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,726 Daddy. 232 00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:02,029 Well, 65 is a Respectable run, isn't it? 233 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:19,312 [laughter] 234 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:22,682 So mom, How does it feel being 65? 235 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,985 Well, it would Feel a little better 236 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:28,055 If my children thought enough Of their mother 237 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:31,258 To throw her A bigger birthday party. 238 00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:34,828 I thought you said you wanted Something more intimate. 239 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:37,164 Fifty people is intimate. 240 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:40,500 Six people is just pathetic. 241 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,871 Um, on that note, Anyone for dessert? 242 00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:48,008 Hope it's Better than the gumbo. 243 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,610 Well, it's pumpkin pie. 244 00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:53,013 Why don't we just Get to the gifts. 245 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,048 - I'll go first. - no, I'm going first. 246 00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:56,683 I have seniority. 247 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,452 I am the older, Good-looking brother. 248 00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:02,189 That's from Vivian and I, mom. 249 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,357 We've been worried about you Driving by yourself lately. 250 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,759 It's just what you need. 251 00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:07,527 Maybe they think You're senile. 252 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,596 [beverly] Maybe they do. 253 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:19,439 Oh, I've always Wanted one of these. 254 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,208 What the hell is it? 255 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:25,745 It's a gps for your car So you don't get lost. 256 00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:27,447 I don't get lost. 257 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,383 'cause I'm 65, You think I get lost? 258 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,786 Darius, do I get lost? 259 00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:35,755 Oh, if I was only so lucky. 260 00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:38,225 No, no, no. We don't think you're senile. 261 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,928 We just thought that if you Were driving someplace new, 262 00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:44,331 It would be helpful And then we wouldn't Have to worry about you. 263 00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:47,835 I don't believe I was talking to you, vivian. 264 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,904 Now I have many things: 265 00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:55,008 Arthritis, high blood pressure, Gout, glaucoma, 266 00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:58,345 A touch of west nile virus. 267 00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:01,248 But god knows, 268 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,583 I am not senile. 269 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,086 We never said you were. 270 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,456 I'll take it back, Get you something different. 271 00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:12,159 Maybe next year, We'll get it right. 272 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,730 [clears throat] 273 00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:22,135 Here you go, mama. This is from me. 274 00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:24,471 Thank you, baby. 275 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,607 [gasps] 276 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:31,845 Oh, this is gorgeous! 277 00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:35,048 This is a gift. 278 00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:38,051 Wait for it. Wait for it. 279 00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:41,121 Oh, lisa. 280 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:46,526 Do you have Anything this beautiful? 281 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,962 Ah...No. 282 00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:51,564 Oh. Help me with it, dear. 283 00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:53,967 You know, my arthritis. 284 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:56,836 Thank you. 285 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:02,309 Still your number one girl. 286 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,843 [chuckling] 287 00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:05,946 This is great. 288 00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:13,053 Oh, my son Knows his mommy so well. 289 00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,854 Mwah! 290 00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,924 Yes, yes he does. 291 00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:21,594 It's too bad He doesn't know his own wife. 292 00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:23,030 Excuse me! 293 00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:25,198 What happened to her? 294 00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:27,500 You're in deep ca-ca. 295 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,402 Deep ca-ca. 296 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,379 You gonna tell me what's wrong? 297 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,350 Wrong? 298 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,252 Why would there be Something wrong? 299 00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:47,220 Did you do something wrong? 300 00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:50,190 No, I'm just saying. 301 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,591 Just saying what? 302 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:54,261 That you humiliated me In front of your family? 303 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:57,530 - is that what you were saying? - what are you talkin' about? 304 00:14:57,564 --> 00:15:01,034 I go through all this trouble Decorating for your mother, 305 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:04,237 Cooking, and you Didn't even bother to Tell me you got a gift? 306 00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:06,806 And didn't bother to say It was from the both of us. 307 00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:10,210 I thought that was assumed. I mean, we are a team, right? 308 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,980 Well, so was shaq and kobe And you see how that worked out. 309 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:14,781 At least got rings. 310 00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:18,718 I couldn't even get A tennis bracelet. 311 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,621 Hold up. Now I thought You weren't materialistic. 312 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,723 Oh, since when Do you listen to me? 313 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:27,627 I always listen to you. That's how I know you said You weren't materialistic. 314 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:31,331 I just feel like Your mother is more important To you than I am. 315 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,966 Now you know that's not true. 316 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,402 Oh, okay, all right. Beverly and I 317 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:38,171 Are floating in the ocean. 318 00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:40,907 You have one life preserver. 319 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,575 Who do you throw it to? 320 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,844 - don't do that. - no, oh, no. 321 00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:47,414 We are floating In the abyss. 322 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,848 Now choose. 323 00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,783 Well... 324 00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:53,987 Well?! You actually Have to think about it?! 325 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:56,923 Look, I'm not Getting caught up in this. To tell you the truth, 326 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,925 I originally bought That bracelet for you. 327 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,794 - it's worth about $10,000. - you gave your mother 328 00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:05,665 A $10,000 bracelet That was actually meant for me? 329 00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,267 No, it's not That big of a deal. 330 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,436 I got it from A guy at the car wash. 331 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,272 Oh, my goodness. So now you're shopping For me at the car wash. 332 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,307 You're making it sound Way worse than it is. 333 00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:17,777 - try making it sound better. - I only paid $1500. 334 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:21,948 You were gonna give me A stolen tennis bracelet. 335 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:25,452 Oh, now that sounds way better. 336 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:26,786 Way better. 337 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:27,987 Baby. 338 00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,189 Lis... 339 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,027 Lisa, I bought you this house. 340 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,132 That's what a man wants. 341 00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:42,835 Diamonds are A girls best friend. 342 00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:46,206 I thought I was your best friend. 343 00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:47,440 Ha! 344 00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,684 Rise and shine, son. 345 00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,486 Hey, pop. 346 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,554 What are you doing Over here so early? 347 00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,523 I talked to your brother. 348 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,825 And after he stopped laughing, 349 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,095 He said things are still A little bit chilly 350 00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:09,496 Between you and lisa. 351 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,030 Chilly ain't the word. 352 00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:13,900 I had to buy a dog house Just so I could sleep in it. 353 00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:15,835 How many years Have you been married, son? 354 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,437 Fourteen. 355 00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:20,173 Fourteen years and you still Haven't figured out the game. 356 00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:22,175 I never looked at it Like a game. 357 00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:24,077 She does. Well, you better catch up. 358 00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:26,613 You see son, If you recognize it's a game, 359 00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:29,182 You and lisa Can have a lot of happy years. 360 00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:31,451 Remember we talked About this at your wedding. 361 00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:34,954 You were swimming in the Champagne fountain at the time. 362 00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:36,923 Well, I was hungover 363 00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:40,193 Throughout the entire time Of your honeymoon. 364 00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:42,795 But that's beside the point. 365 00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:45,465 When it comes to women, If you want to win, 366 00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:48,034 You got to take everything That you think is logical 367 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:51,138 And turn it The exact opposite way. 368 00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,772 That doesn't make any sense. 369 00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:55,375 Of course it doesn't. They don't think like us. 370 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:58,245 They talk in riddles And live in shadows. 371 00:17:58,278 --> 00:17:59,979 Like bats? 372 00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:02,582 Well, I could say something, 373 00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:04,984 But my bat Is your mama. 374 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,390 You remember when you mom Dropped a hint 375 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,759 That she wanted An intimate birthday party? 376 00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,661 Yeah, I thought That's what she wanted. 377 00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,929 No, she wanted a party. 378 00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:19,232 Electric slide and everything. 379 00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,000 Pop, I'm a grown man. 380 00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:24,103 Why are we just now having This conversation about women? 381 00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:27,840 Son, you can Go over some things 382 00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:30,109 And you can Go under some things, 383 00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:32,412 But you don't know What the crap smells like 384 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,581 Until you step directly in it. 385 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,817 So, you get up, Wipe your feet on the grass, 386 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,786 And get back in the game. 387 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,595 Oh. 388 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,430 I didn't know You were down here. 389 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,465 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I got you something. 390 00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,701 What's that? 391 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:57,370 Just a little something To say I'm sorry. 392 00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:59,038 I'm listening. 393 00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:02,675 Well, apparently, I'm not able to read What my mother wants. 394 00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:06,279 Oh, that was Pretty obvious the second She came through the door. 395 00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:08,448 I should've known. It was her 65th birthday, 396 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,850 And my mother Is anything but subtle. 397 00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:12,319 But times have changed. 398 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,687 See, my pops has given me Some real insight, 399 00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:16,556 Even though It's 14 years too late. 400 00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:18,491 I should apologize, too. 401 00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:21,828 It's your mother, she just, She just gets to me. 402 00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:23,630 You know that. 403 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,666 I just felt Like you weren't on My side this time. 404 00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:29,669 - the bracelet was too much. - no, it wasn't the bracelet. 405 00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:32,339 Well, that was the straw That broke the camels back. 406 00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:34,374 But, you know, It's your mother. 407 00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:37,176 You can get her Whatever you want. 408 00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,546 Aren't you gonna open it? 409 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:41,381 Yeah. 410 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:46,353 - car wash? - liquor store. 411 00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,655 Better than tiffany's. 412 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,757 Wow, that's beautiful. 413 00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:52,825 But I don't want this. I told you. 414 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,727 It wasn't about the bracelet. 415 00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:57,163 Oh, okay. So I can take it back? 416 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,999 Yeah, of course you can. I don't care about 417 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:03,069 These ridiculous displays Of extravagance. 418 00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:05,171 Ha! I got you. 419 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,374 I'm not taking it back. I get it. I get it. 420 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,409 Fourteen years, But I finally get it. 421 00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:11,844 What are you talking about? 422 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:14,914 You women are tricky, But I get it. 423 00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:18,184 See, everything is the opposite On planet crazy. 424 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:21,020 These things mean Absolutely nothing to me. 425 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:22,755 Uh-huh, sure they don't. 426 00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,924 - love you. - love you, too. 427 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:55,588 [knock at door] 428 00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:58,057 Todd. What are you doing here This time of night? 429 00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,126 I need someplace To lie my head down. 430 00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:02,128 What happened? 431 00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:06,232 I tried to one-up and gave mom Three-carat diamond earrings, 432 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:09,235 And vivian only has two. 433 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:13,406 Make yourself at home. 434 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,608 [laughs] 32259

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