Original subtitles

I thought I'd lost them forever.

Oh, whatever.

I am so happy for you. Now, are you going to get finished taping up those

Hey, Jo, do you know something?

If these crystals were under my bed this whole semester, no wonder I've been

having all those erotic dreams.

Oh, don't start with those dreams again.

No, as a matter of fact, I had one last night. You want to hear it?

You're going to tell me whether I want you to or not.

Well, I was in this dark room, and...

I couldn't really tell where it was.

There was a lot of people just standing around looking at me.

And I was searching for someone, something.

When all of a sudden, these hands came out of the darkness and started to feel

all around my body.

And at first, I was scared, you know.

But the more the hands roamed around, the more I got into it.

At first, there was just two hands, then four, then six.

They were caressing me everywhere.

And I do mean everywhere.

It's hard.

And then, just as I was about to explode, the

hands pulled away.

And this beautiful woman stepped forward.

And she was naked.

Her body glistened.

She was incredible.

And then... Well, don't stop there.

And then I woke up. That was it.

You know, you should really think about writing these dreams down, Star. They

make a hell of a book.

Hey, you guys, graduation was over three hours ago.

Think maybe you could have lost the caps and gowns?

Well, we're not wearing anything underneath.

We packed all our clothes.

Actually, we're just taking the last round of photos. It's going to be all we

have to remember this place by.

Oh, don't bum me out.

Oh, guys, don't bum her out. We just got to cheer it up again.

It'll be okay, Star.

I mean, you knew four years ago when you started college that someday you'd

graduate, right?

Sort of.

Okay, then.

This is just all part of growing up and moving on.

Yeah, but what are we going to do now?

I'll get it.

If I can find it.

Hello? Just a second.

Josie, it's for you.

Hello?

You know, someday we'll remember these days as the best days of our lives.

Now that's scary.

Listen, all four of us have to stick together.

You know, like the Three Musketeers.

It's the only way we're going to survive out there in the real world.

Well, a nice job with a fat paycheck wouldn't hurt either.

What's wrong?

It's my grandfather.

He died this morning.

Now we turn to the matters of his estate.

As you know, you are the sole porter heir.

And with your parents away deep in the afternoon bush on a photo safari, turns

to you to be the executor of his will.

Which is real convenient because her grandfather named you executor.

Is that you?

No, thank you.

Yeah, let's cut to the chase. I mean, what does she get? Well, you retain

complete and total ownership of your grandfather's pride and joy.

House of Wax.

House of Wax?

Josie, you never said anything about a house of wax.

Interesting.

I know. I guess I've always been a little bit embarrassed by it. You know,

kind of weird having a house of wax in your family.

Where is it?

Oh, it's on the Santa Monica amusement pier.

Oh, now, if you'll just sign these papers,

the house of wax will be yours lock, stock, and...

Wax. Well, what am I supposed to do with it?

Well, I suggest selling off the inventory and shutting it down. The

already foreclosed, and there's a lot of back taxes with unpaid interest.

The museum hasn't turned a profit in over 16 years.

Oh, and there's also the persistent rumors that it's haunted.

Wait a minute. Why didn't you tell me this before I signed the papers?

Well, you wouldn't have signed.

Oh, here are the keys.

And a list on pay bill.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get some water.

That guy is nuts.

I think we should try and save the House of Wax.

Save it?

Yeah, it would make your grandfather very happy.

Yeah, the least you should do is see what kind of condition it's in. I can go

over the books and see how bad it really is.

Okay, okay.

We can all help out. It'll be a lot of fun.

What happened to summer vacation?

One last hurrah before the nine -to -five grind begins?

Hello?

Mexico?

Cabo?

Anyone?

Fine.

Off to the house of wax we go.

This place is awesome.

It's going to go with creepy.

Very interesting.

This place brings back lots of memories.

You know, I used to work here in the summer as a kid.

And actually, I had a lot of fun.

I just haven't been back in such a long time.

Why not?

My grandfather was a bit of an eccentric.

And he had a hard time communicating with people.

And the older he got, he became more and more reclusive.

We all tried to help him, but he just pushed us away.

Hmm. Well, maybe he got so used to talking to wax figures, he forgot how to

to real people.

Hey, guys, check this out.

Whoa.

Wow. Seems like old Gramps had more on his mind than talking.

Hey, guys, look what I found.

Grand opening of the erotic house of wax.

The world's greatest lovers all in wax.

Adults only.

You won't believe your eyes.

Let me see that.

It looks like Grandfather Vincent was going to give one final go at this place

with something new, huh?

I guess so.

Josie, it looks like Grandpa Vincent is my new hero.

Yikes. I guess I should go check out the office. Andy, do you want to come with

me to see if the accounting books are down there?

Sure. Okay.

I'm getting a really weird vibe from this place.

Come on, Star. We'll go smooth out your aura.

we are going to make sense out of this place.

Who is this?

That's my grandfather, Vincent.

Hmm, but I've never seen her before.

I guess the old man wasn't the recluse I thought he was. I guess not.

Well, I'm just going to dig in here and see what's up, okay?

You know, this will take days.

Maybe we should spend some time checking this place out.

You guys don't want to do that.

Why not?

Maybe Pete's going home for the summer or watching Pete get bombed on tequila

Mexico.

Well, you know, my grandfather has an apartment out back, and I know there's

plenty of room for all of us.

Well, then it's settled.

That's great. Let's go tell Star and Pete.

Okay. Let's go.

Anything yet?

It's still very weird.

Some presence hovering over this place, trying to attach itself.

She's probably an IRS agent.

No, no, it's bigger than that.

I don't think it means us any harm.

Well, that's a relief.

Uh -oh, now it's gone.

Well, I'm sure it'll be back, Star.

Hey, you guys.

How would you feel about sticking around here for a couple of days and helping

me straighten some things out?

Excellent idea.

Maybe we'll get to see the presents.

Presents? Yeah, well, I've been getting these strong vibrations from a presence.

I'm not sure what, but we're definitely not alone.

She needs some quiet time.

Well, four years of college and the first job I get is as a bellboy.

This place smells like... Don't say it.

Wax.

Gee, who's this decorator? Norman Bates?

There's room for the back, you guys, and you can pick whichever one you want.

Yeah, well, I get a bed by the window this time.

Knock yourself out.

But it was so wiped out.

Yeah.

Well, why don't you take a shower and go to bed?

Yeah, that sounds good.

We can rub each other's back.

I can do it alone, thank you.

Good night, everyone. Good night.

This is so cool.

It's just like being back in the dorms.

We're all together and he's still striking out with Josie.

Well, it's official.

I'm bored out of my skull.

Boy, these books are a mess.

You're really excited by this.

It's kind of like digging to the bottom of a mystery. You know, you peel away

one layer at a time searching for clues.

Yeah, it's actually a lot of fun.

I swear you were getting turned on by those books.

Shut up. No, I mean it.

It's like you're getting excited with every turn of the page.

Why don't you go stick your head in the sink?

What, I need you with all those numbers alone?

Who knows what could happen?

Peter, that's you!

I swear I'm gonna... What was that?

Sounds like Josie found a mouse. Come on!

Tophie, what's wrong? Someone was there.

Where? There, just standing right there. Then he turned the lights off.

I thought it was you, Pete.

Oh, I would have kept the lights on. You know that.

Well, maybe it was the present. He's making himself known.

Hey, maybe we should go check out the museum.

We'll lead on, McDuff.

Shakespeare.

Hey.

Wow, this is pretty groovy. Is this yours, Shelby?

No, I've never seen it before.

What a trippy design.

God, it was so creepy.

Maybe I should try and channel some spirits.

Be my guest. Just don't do it around me.

Let's get you out of here. Come on.

You know, I'm sure she just saw some shadows on the wall, right, Pete?

Pete?

Pete?

Oh!

What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?

How many times have I got to tell you not to lose your head over things? Jeez.

Well, the perimeter's secured.

There's no prowlers, and the doors are all locked up.

Well, where is everybody?

Well, Andy's cleaning up a little accident he had, and Star went down to

pier. She said she had a Jones for cotton candy.

Hey, if you're a little shook up, you know I can spend the night with you.

Of course, I'll have to be right next to you to make sure you're, like,

perfectly safe.

I'll be fine.

Say, Josie?

Yeah, Pete?

I'm just down the hall.

Scream if you need me.

Pete?

Yeah, Josie?

Thanks.

You were a very beautiful queen Something's missing

Thank you.

Thank you.

Whoa. What a sugar rush.

Josie, are you sleeping?

Not anymore.

They moved.

Who moved? Down the museum.

Cleopatra and Mark Anthony came to life and had sex.

Star, couldn't you wait in the morning to simulate this dream? No, no, no, no.

It wasn't a dream. It was real.

At least, I think it was real.

Maybe it was a dream.

Good night, Star.

So how goes another function, bud?

You making fun of me again?

Who, me?

Aren't you supposed to be cleaning the exhibits?

For what Josie is paying me? I'm going to tell her to take as many breaks as I

want.

Hey, let me ask you something.

Do you think Josie likes me?

Here we go again.

Now, just answer the question.

No, I told you before. I guess I'm going to have to tell you again.

Ask her yourself.

I don't know. I just... Tell her point blank how you really feel.

I mean, you've been carrying a torch for her for the past two years and haven't

said a word.

Well, that's my point.

Don't you think she would have noticed by now and said something to me?

Pete, women like to be romanced, you know.

You can't just come barging in all the time like the big dumb jock that you

Watch it. Jenna, get her alone.

Look her right in the eyes. Tell her exactly how you feel with no jokes and

clever comeback.

I don't know.

It's hard.

All right.

All right.

Pretend I'm Josie.

Get out of here. Come on. Tell me how you feel.

This is stupid.

Well, if you can't tell me.

All right.

Josie.

Yes, Pete?

Josie, you know we've been through a lot these past couple of years, and I just

had to get something off my chest.

Go on.

Josie, you need a shave.

There you go with the jokes again.

All right, all right.

You're right. It's time to have the talk.

Straightforward and honest, it's the only way to go.

Exactly.

Did I ever tell you you have beautiful eyes?

Get out of here.

so real.

Come on.

You're just letting your imagination run away with you again.

Maybe all it is is the need of a sexual relief.

What? You know, if a person who is sexually active hits a dry spell, their

frustrations manifest in the form of erotic daydreams. Yeah, erotic

And nightdreams, don't forget those. Exactly. So, you're saying I should get

laid?

Not exactly, but obviously it's on your mind.

Well, isn't it on yours?

Not really.

Come on. What about you and Pete?

What about us?

All that sexual frustration hanging in the air.

You know you want him, and he wants you.

Right. He wants me to play with, and I want more than that. I want the romance,

and I want the passion.

So why don't you just tell him? I don't think he'll take me serious.

Did I ever tell you about the time I saw Pete in the showers?

What? Well, it was a co -ed dorm.

Those things are bound to happen. Did he see you?

I don't think so. It was pretty steamy in there, and he was all fuzzy.

And? Pretty impressive.

You mean?

Mm -hmm. I'd definitely go for it if I were you.

Oh, really?

And he was singing show tunes.

So, you know, he's got to have a sensitive side.

No way.

Yeah, I think it was something from Oklahoma.

He was using his bar soap as a microphone.

Hey, what's up, guys?

What'd I say?

I'm telling you they had sex.

And I'm telling you you've gone loopy. You spent way too much time buried in

those books.

Why don't you believe me?

You tell me last night at the stroke of midnight, wax dummies came to life and

had sex?

Yeah.

Gee, I don't know why I find that so hard to believe.

All right, fine, fine.

Tonight we'll go down there. You can see for yourself.

I don't think so. Why?

Because even if some weird black magic kind of thing makes these wax dummies

come to life, I don't want to see them having a better sex life than me.

Please.

I need to know that I'm not going crazy, you know?

All right.

We'll have a slumber party in the museum tonight.

But if those wax dummies don't hump at midnight, I'm calling the funny farm on

you.

Yes? I'm Angela Wingate, president of the Santa Monica Improvement Committee.

How can I help you?

Let's skip the pleasantries and get right down to the point.

We hope you have enough sense to close down this place and allow a team of

bulldozers to demolish the entire building.

Excuse me?

This museum has been a blight to the pier ever since any one of us can

And your grandfather, wanting to take this place and...

Turn it into some house of porn. Well, we are just glad he died before he was

able to pull it off.

Our condolences, of course.

But you have no legal authority to shut this museum down.

I have a moral authority.

You see, I represent a group of right -minded citizens who will not tolerate

this sort of illicit business in their midst.

But you have no legal authority to shut this museum down, right?

We are sure.

you will do the right thing.

We also happen to know exactly how much money your grandfather owed to the bank.

So either you shut down this place, or I will make sure that the bank does. Good

day, Miss Porter.

I was so pissed at that witch, I couldn't even think of anything to say.

Well, they can't stop you from reopening the museum if you want to.

No.

But the bank can.

How bad is it? Well, Vincent owes $11 ,000 in back taxes and over $16 ,000 to

the bank in mortgage payments.

You've got 30 days before the bank forecloses.

I'm sorry.

Why didn't you ask my father for help?

Why don't you ask your dad for some money?

I don't even know where he is.

Well, didn't he leave you with any money to, you know, get through the summer

with? Not $27 ,000.

That would be a hell of an allowance.

Maybe we can just open the place and raise the money ourselves.

Unfortunately, the best month your grandfather ever had, he never made more

$3 ,000.

Don't you have any good news?

Don't blame me.

Well, what's good to business degree if you can't, like, cook the books?

Hey, he owes what he owes. I can't change that.

Maybe I should just shut this place down and sell what I can and pay off my

grandfather's debt.

I don't know.

All I do know is that I don't like having this responsibility right now.

Welcome to the real world.

Hey, Pete.

We got that thing to do.

What thing?

You know, that thing in the basement. The thing.

All right, the thing.

Yeah, but we can't leave Josie this upset.

I'm fine.

Go ahead and do what it is you have to do.

Really?

Okay.

Now just watch.

This is crazy.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Not a lot of action here, my friend.

They seem pretty stiff.

I'm telling you, they had sex.

Listen, if you think... Tell me that was you.

Wasn't me.

Holy shit, I told you so

I don't believe that.

Should we tell somebody?

We can't tell anybody this, what we just saw.

They'll throw us in the rubber room.

But you just saw it for yourself, right? And that's where we're going to keep

it. But Pete, we've got to tell somebody. Not a word.

Pete. Pete.

Good morning.

What did you say?

Rough night?

Oh, you have no idea.

Me too.

Morning.

I just don't know what I'm going to do with you twice.

I can think of a few things.

Yeah? Like what?

Well, I shouldn't tell you this because you'll think I'm nuts.

But last night, we were down in the museum.

And Cleopatra and Mark Anthony came to life and had sex, right?

Actually, it was Romeo and Juliet.

Awesome! They all get some action.

What are you two talking about?

My dream.

It wasn't a dream. They did do it.

Who? The wax figures.

She's right.

Something weird is going on down there.

Pete, if this is another one of your jokes, I'm really not in the mood.

wish I was joking.

Tonight, just come down and see for yourself.

Fine. I will.

Cool. We'll make it a party. I'll tell Andy.

Okay, where's all the sex?

It's not the enchanting hour yet.

Now it is.

I think we're letting this place get the better of us.

Just give it a chance.

I swear I saw them come to life.

Me too. Me three.

Everybody, please, listen.

Look, I love you guys very much, and I appreciate everything you've been doing

for me, but this is getting way out of hand.

Ode, money, wax figures coming to life. I just can't take it anymore.

I think it's best if tomorrow we just shut this place down once and for all,

I'll put everything up for sale, and we can just get out of here.

I don't know what's happening.

Okay,

okay, okay, okay.

That's the plan.

Now let's just try and forget about this.

What's this

um

you

you

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Josie, wait.

Hey.

I am so sorry.

I should have never done that.

Was it that bad?

No.

That's not it at all.

It just felt like a dream.

But I knew what I was doing.

And I couldn't stop.

Did you want to?

No. Well, hooray for us.

You know, I would have liked a little warning for our first time, but I'm not

complaining.

I just don't know what came over me.

After all these years, you just couldn't resist me.

Don't make me laugh, Pete.

This is really scary.

I won't let anything happen to you.

What are you, my knight in shining armor now?

That's me.

Oh, by the way, this broke off your neck at the end when we... This isn't mine.

Star found this the other day.

It was around your neck.

But how?

It's all a racket.

Oh, we have an announcement to make.

Don't you dare.

Did you see which way he went? Well, he's in here somewhere.

If you go up, stay back here. Annie, you take that side. I'll go over here.

I'm not standing here. Come on.

That weird vibrations back I Have a real creepy feeling about this.

I Don't want to find what's around there Then you just wait here

We're

going

anywhere pal

She looks like the girl in the picture with your grandfather.

You're right.

Okay, what is going on?

Look, you might as well tell me who you are.

Wait, I don't think she can talk. Is that right?

Did you know my grandfather Vincent?

I guess she liked him.

Why are you here?

I was never any good at charade. A book!

A book is downstairs?

You want us to read that book?

Okay, come on. Let's go.

Come on.

How did she get all that?

I don't know. Come on.

Oh, wow. This is awesome.

What is it?

Well, it's some sort of story in pictures.

Look, here's a drawing of a hooded figure just like her.

Oh, and here's one of the amulets.

That's Cleopatra, and that hooded guy's given her the amulet.

Whoa, nice picture. It looks like a page out of the Kama Sutra.

Oh, whatever it is, they were sure having fun back then.

Okay, this is you?

Okay, I think I get it.

You're part of some sort of ancient order of something other that has

this amulet down through the generations to different people.

How do you get all that?

I sense things.

How long have your people been doing this?

Looks like since before Cleo got bit in the ass.

Well, why is the amulet so special?

Hey, slow down. I'm not getting any of this.

Hey, you guys, why don't we all go upstairs where there's more light? Yeah.

Okay?

Oh, no, no. You can come with us. We won't hurt you. It'll be okay.

It's okay.

Okay, now this is you, and your name is Eve?

Awesome! Okay, as far as I can tell from her in this book, Eve belonged to some

sort of order of the amulet. Now that's the necklace.

Gotcha. And apparently it has strong sexual powers.

But how did you end up here, and what did you have to do with my grandfather?

I think your grandfather took care of her.

I gotta know this.

Did Gramps, you know, use the amulet? Pete, Mike, you don't want to know.

Way to go, Grant.

Well, what are we supposed to do with it?

Okay, I get it. We should use it to save the museum.

How? Well, can you imagine the show these wax figures would put on with this

amulet? We'd pack the house.

Yeah, and we'd be arrested.

No way. I mean, it's what's meant to happen.

This amulet releases the sexual energy all around us.

I mean, it's like a special gift.

We shouldn't waste it. What do you say, Jessie?

I don't know.

It's what Vincent would want.

All right, then.

If the house of wax is going down, I say we take it down in a blaze of glory.

Now you're talking.

Hey, and we can put all our recently graduated skills to work.

I mean, Andy can work the books. I'll shape up the exhibits.

Josie, you can do the marketing, and Star can start exactly what was your

Astrology. Oh, that'll be a big help.

So, what's it like to be a high priestess?

Yeah, that's what I thought. Pretty cool.

You know, I'm totally into all this metaphysical way of thinking.

In fact, my twin sister, named Sun, she was abducted by an alien.

She's always been the lucky one.

But I guess this whole amulet thing's pretty trippy, too.

Do you think it beats an alien abduction from outer space?

I don't know

Hmm. That beats an alien abduction any day.

Josie, in that dress, you just take my breath away.

You know Pete?

The last couple of days have been really incredible for me.

Me too.

Why don't we get together sooner?

You never ask.

Well, you never asked.

We were both idiots.

I was probably more of an idiot.

I agree.

We say we run upstairs for a quickie. Pete. Hey, guys.

Too late.

There's a big crowd forming outside. Are we ready?

I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be. Well, then let's open the doors.

Tickets, please.

Tickets, thank you.

Tickets, please. Do you really think I'd pay for this?

Well, that's your problem, lady.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

And welcome to the grand opening of the Erotic House of Wax. Before we get

started this evening, I would like to thank some very special people that

me make this event come together.

Star, Andy, and Pete. You guys are very special to me. I know some of you are

wondering why I decided to open this attraction again.

It's because it's what my grandfather, Vincent, would have wanted.

He was a very special man, and I just wish that he was around longer. And I

if he was here right now, he would love to see the look on all your faces when

you see this. So this is for him.

That was the month.

Will there be another show tomorrow?

I'm not sure.

Josie? Looks like we're in business.

Well, I'm going to petition the city for landmark status for this building.

Of course, I'm going to have to conduct a very thorough investigation.

Oh, of course.

I think we're hit.

You think that amulet can last long enough to keep this thing going?

Oh. I don't think we're going to have any problem with that.