All language subtitles for 10.Things.I.Hate.About.You.S01E18.Changes.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-TEPES_track3_[eng]

Previously on 10 Things
I Hate About You...

Aspiring models,
please send in
your audition tapes.

I'm Joey Donner, quarterback
of the Padua High Penguins.

"You're my best friend"?
First, you already got
a best friend.

Raising two teenage girls
by yourself--

It just seems really lonely.

I'm not going to sleep with you
until we talk about sex
and discuss its implications.

Why do you care so much?

I just care about you, okay?

Been thinking about
the other night.

Yes, that kiss
surprised me, too.

Of course it was
a nice surprise.

It was like a birthday party
for my lips.

I'm just a little confused
about what it meant.

Maybe we could get together
to repeat it-- Discuss it.

I don't know, Saturday night?

Great.

Uh, yes, ma'am,
I'm looking forward

to performing your C-section
on Saturday. Bye.

Bianca, hi.

I was updating my dream book,

and I realized on my list
of short-term dreams,

I've already accomplished
the first three pages.

I'm a cheerleader,

I'm popular,

and I have
a gorgeous boyfriend.

Now to tackle my next page--

Hosting a Martha Stewart-worthy
fancy dinner party.

Can I do it on Saturday?

Saturday?

It just sounds like
an awful lot of work
to do in two days.

And remember, Martha Stewart
has an entire staff,

and a work ethic honed

in the cold reality
of a penitentiary.

Please, Daddy?
I'll take care of everything.

Please help my page 4
come true.

I'm supposed
to deliver babies.

I'll cancel.

I'll make my lasagna.

Oh, Daddy.

It's an adult dinner party,

so there can't be
any grown-ups.

Uh--
Kat will chaperone.

She's practically elderly,

and that way you can still
facilitate the miracle of life.

All right.

I mean-- All right,
you know, everybody wins.

Where is your sister, anyway?

Patrick, let's--

Yeah?

Get tested.

Not exactly what I thought
you were going to say,
but sure.

I'll make the appointment.

You're a take-charge girl.

I like that about you.

Our appointment's
after school at 3:15.

The results take an hour.

Have you given any thought

to when and where
we should consummate?

I was thinking 4:15,

alley behind
the testing center.

Great. I'll meet you
in the dumpster.

Saturday night.

And don't worry, it ain't
going to be in a dumpster.

Oh, Kat,
I forgot to tell you,

you're chaperoning
my dinner party
Saturday night.

I've rented you an assortment
of political documentaries,

so you can stay in your room
and be outraged.

Sounds fun, but I have plans.

Even better. Just tell Dad
you're chaperoning.

What are you doing?

Something really boring

that would be
of no interest to you.

Dawn, come on.

Okay, bye.

Okay, bye.

Michael, I have a girlfriend.

Girlfriend.
I have a girlfriend.

And she's so hot.

I know. I just wish
I heard from you

instead of from graffiti
on the bathroom wall.

Really? What does it say?

"Cameron James is dating
way out of his league."

At least it doesn't say
"Spoink is dating
way out of his league."

Mike, I'm sorry.

What are you doing
Saturday night?

You want to play video games
till we're nauseous?

Sure, sure,
but there is something
that I should tell you

before we hang out.

What?

I...

I just became a level 8
ogre slayer in Ogre Slayer.

Oh! I pay liege to you,
menace to the ogre world.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, Cameron and Dawn
are coming.

This is my chance to show
I'm cool with it,

and I also invited Chastity
because, well...

If you don't, she'll kill you.

Pretty much.

I have no idea
who she's bringing.

I just hope he has manners.

This party is
supposed to be classy.

It's from my mom.

Oh, my God.
The Biggest Poser called.

I have an audition
this afternoon.

Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God!

I know.
Will you come with me?

You make me feel so confident,
and when I look into your eyes,

I can see
how good-looking I am.

Oh, of course I will.

Wow, Joey, all our dreams
really are coming true.

This music
is making me hot.

Maybe they sell the CD.

Hm.

Hey.

Curiosity killed the cat.

Yeah. Well,
better that than an STD.

Seriously, how many girls
have you slept with?

Oh, let's see.

Uh, ski trip, summer camp...

Oh, babysitter.

Carry the one.

311.

Darn.
I've only slept with 300.

I'll have to catch up.

You, cowboy.
You're next.

Giddy-up.

Hey, we need to talk.
I need a favor.

I haven't made Dawn
break up with you.
Favor granted.

Look, I made plans with Dawn
and my friend Michael.

For the first time
in my life,

I'm double-booked
on a Saturday night.

Having a girlfriend is
so much more complicated
than I thought.

Would you please
bring Michael as your date
to Bianca's dinner party?

Ugh, no. I'd rather
go with a hand puppet.

Why would you even
suggest that?

Chastity,
Michael's whole dream
in life is to be popular.

Think what would happen
if he went

with the most popular girl
in school,

what that would do for him.

It'd be like he's a book,

and you're Oprah's
seal of approval.

You're that powerful.

He'd be like
my own little version

of that school
in South Africa.

Yeah.

But tell him to meet me
outside Bianca's house

because I do not want him
to know where I live.

If I don't sit
Cameron and Dawn
next to each other,

they'll think I'm not okay
with them being a couple,

but if I do,
then there's that awkward
height differential,

which is not elegant.

But friendship comes first.

How do celebrities
and In Style do this?

Joey, help me.

Babe, I'm minutes away

from the most important
five minutes of my life.

I got to stretch my face.

I'm sorry.
You're totally right.
You stay focused.

Joey Donner.

That's me.

Remember, you're beautiful
inside and out.

Rock it.

Is he your boyfriend?

He's so hot. He's totally
going to make the show.

I hope so.

You play your cards right,

you'll get
a ton of screen time.

I dated a guy from
Building a Boy Band,

and I was on two episodes--

the one
where I slept with him

in the same room
as five other people

and the one
where he dumped me.

God, I'm so sorry.

That's what I get
for dating a reality star.

They either dump you
or cheat on you.

But it's cool. I had
a great crying scene.
I'm very proud of it.

Erin Schiff.
Yes?

We're putting you in the shot.
Do you have on a bikini?

Natch.

Oil them up.

You okay?
Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?

Your boyfriend's
been in there
a really long time.

You do know
where we are, right?

All clear.

What took you so long?

I got my results
20 minutes ago.

Sorry. The nurse made me
put a condom on a banana.

It's harder than it looks.

Why? Were you nervous?

No, I'm just sick
of this Muzak.

Can we go?
Yep, we can go.

All the way home.

Do you like my dress?

Do I look okay?
God, I'm so nervous.

It's just a dinner party
for a bunch of high school
nimrods.

You don't understand.
Next week, Joey could be
in a New York penthouse

with 11 gorgeous, hungry,
insecure models and a hot tub.

I need to be memorable
so he doesn't dump me
on national television.

Think you're going to achieve
all that with one dress?

You're right.

I should sleep with him.

Great idea.
Just be sure to get pregnant.

Then he'll never forget you
because he'll be paying
child support.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Matching underwear
and you shaved your legs?

You're having sex
with Patrick Verona tonight.

I am not.

Oh, my God.
You're such a hypocrite.

If you can have sex,
why can't I?

Because I'm mature,

and you're
a 15-year-old idiot.

I forbid you.
You can't forbid me
to do anything.

Besides,
I know you were my age

when you slept with Josh.

Your journal fell open
into my lap.

Well, did you read the part
where the next day,

we moved here
and he never called me again?

No.

After we moved,
you started hiding
your journal.

So much for our
long-distance relationship.

Two days later,
he posted pics of himself
on Facebook kissing Hannah.

Gross.

We hate Josh.

It was devastating.

And as much as I hate you,

I don't want to see you
making the same mistake.

Why is it any different
this time with Patrick?

Because mature people
realize that sex is not love.

We got tested. We're not
seeing other people.
It's no big deal.

Wow. That sounds like
a wonderful transaction.

Joey, how do I look?

Great, hon.

I'm trying to find
the spot in your house
with the best reception.

The Biggest Poser people
are calling tonight,
and I can't miss it.

Welcome. Thank you for coming
to my dinner party.

Wow, Bianca,
this is so elegant
and sophisticated.

Yeah? I really wanted it
to be fancy and classy.

We brought you
some Sparkling Cider.

Oh, that's lovely.

Please come in and help yourself
to some hors d'oeuvres.

Oh, man, shrimp!

Seriously?
We're going to do it
in the back of Keith's van?

This isn't much better
than a dumpster.

You sure about that?

How did you--
See?

I told you it would be special.

Okay, here are
the ground rules.

You are not to look me
directly in the eye.

If you tell people
that we had any type
of physical contact,

I will sever
something important.

Capisce?

Trust me,
there is a 0.0% chance
of that happening.

What, am I not your type?

Because your type
is anything with a pulse.

No, what I meant was that--
Was what?

This had better be good
because right now
I'm insulted

and you do not
want to insult me.

No, I wouldn't hook up with you
because I'm gay.

You're gay?

Yes, yes,
but I've only been out
for three days.

Benji says I'm a new-born.

Please don't say anything,
okay?

I still haven't
got up the nerve
to tell Cameron yet.

Don't worry.
I can keep a secret.

He's gay?

Gay?

Gay, gay, gay,
gay, gay, gay.

But Cameron doesn't know,

and I promised Michael
I wouldn't tell anybody,

so you can't go
blabbing it around, okay? Sh.

Trust me, I won't.
The last thing I want

is coming out drama
at my sophisticated party.

You know, I never thought
I'd say this,

but you and Chastity
look kind of cute together,

like the elephant
that made friends
with the dog.

Yeah, she's not
really my type.

Well, you never know.

I know.

I guess I'm just concerned
about the age difference.

You're very young,
and I'm very--

Older.

And I'm the girls'
guidance counselor.

If I'm romantically involved
with their father,

and I advise them
to go to college out of state,

they could misconstrue
my intentions.

Plus, you might want
to have children.

And you don't like mushrooms,
and I love mushrooms.

That doesn't really seem
like a deal-breaker.

Oh, my God, I'm doing exactly
what Dr. Frumowitz says.

I'm keeping you
at arm's length

because
of my abandonment issues

and fear of intimacy,

and you're doing
the exact same thing.

We're mirroring and projecting
and future tripping.

Okay, I was with you
all the way until
future tripping.

I think we should
give it a shot.

I do, too.

And then I posed like this.

And then I threw in

a few eyewear poses

that I think blew their minds.

He's so good.

I have to get
my grandmother's serving dish.

Will you please
keep an eye on the meat?

And try to get Dawn
off Cameron's lap.

It's not elegant.

No problem, Five-o.

So then I took off
my boxer briefs, and--

Oh, my God, this could be
The Biggest Poser.

Can't wait to hear
the rest of the story.

Hey, you know who'd make
a good model?

You, my tall drink of water.

Oh. Oh.

Dawn.

Dawn, Dawn, Dawn.

Oh, sweetie,
I know that this must
be so hard for you,

watching your straight
best friend kiss a girl,

knowing that
that will never be you.

Oh, so sorry.

Oh, Dawn.

Did Joey check the meat?

Where is he?

Oh, no.

Joey, where are you?

Great news--
I'm on The Biggest Poser.

I leave for New York tomorrow!

I think it was
the eyewear poses.

You know how long
I've wanted to do this?

Since that first day
I saw you at school.

You mean
that creepy stare-off?

It wasn't creepy, it was sexy.

Don't forget who won
that stare-off, buddy.

Me.

I let you win.

I only walked away
because I knew

it would drive you nuts.

Don't flatter yourself.

I knew I'd get you
eventually.

You'd get me?

Well, I'm about to, aren't I?

Is that what this is?

Your master plan to get me
to sleep with you?

I'm just some sex object?

No.

You talk way too much
to be just a sex object.

Oh, come on.
What just happened?

Weren't we having fun?

I'm sorry,
did you want me to answer?

I thought I talked too much.

You're overreacting.

You're right.

I should just be happy
to be girl #312.

Is that what this is about?

You know I haven't slept
with that many girls.

I'm in high school,
not the NBA.

Do you bring them
in here, too?

Do you and Keith run
a little brothel on wheels?

Yeah, but don't worry--

The first one's free.

Why are you freaking out?

I thought we both
wanted to do this.

Just because
I want to have sex
doesn't mean I should.

Certainly not with you.

God, I've been fooled
by guys like you before,
but not this time.

Take me home.

With pleasure.

I'll tell you one thing--

I am not going to be
the guy who's not there
to make friends.

I want to make friends,

and then beat them.

Okay, everybody.

Now it's time for a toast
to Joey's new life.

I'm so happy all your dreams
are coming true.

Should we leave,
or stick around for dessert?

I don't know.

She made
this yummy cheesecake.

I was really looking
forward to it.

Cameron, I'm gay.

I am so glad I came tonight.

Hey, what's the matter?

Joey, I don't want you to think
that I'm not happy for you,

because I am.

Your abs are going to be
on national television.

I'm just...

I'm worried everything's
going to change.

Five-o, the only thing
the show's going to change

is my address and hair color,

not the way I feel about you.

I love you, Bianca,
whether I'm in San Diego,
New York, or Japan.

Apparently, they go cuckoo
for blonds in Japan.

Wait, did you just say
that you love me?

Duh.

My God, I love you, too.

This is the best
dinner party ever.

I know.

Hey, bud. You okay?

Michael,
just give me a minute.

I need a chance
to process this.

I know. It's a shock.

Well, I guess thinking back,
the signs were there,

like that day in kindergarten
when I first saw you run.

Uh, excuse you,
I have a very masculine gait.

You were chasing the girl
who stole your My Little Pony.

Ah, Starsong. I miss her.

So are you weirded out?

No, no, no. I could not be
more down with the gays.

If my parents die,
I'm moving to Palm Springs
to live with my gay uncle.

He throws these awesome
game nights.

Okay, okay, because
there is one more thing
that I need to tell you.

You have a crush on me?
'Cause that's cool.

No, no. I'm not
a level 8 ogre slayer.

You thought I had
a crush on you?

Well...

Oh, please.

Joey,
on the other hand...

I keep losing out
to that guy.

Guess what.
Joey got on the show,

but it's okay
because he told me
he loves me.

That's great. You didn't even
have to sleep with him.

So how was sexy time?

Didn't happen.

We had a huge fight.
I think it's over.

Oh, God. Kat, I'm so sorry.
Are you okay?

I'm fine.

Right.