Original subtitles

He took the bait, we're only gonna get one shot at this.

Huh. One fish.

Two fish.

Red fish.

Red fish. Red fish.

Who's his daddy?

I used to love these movies growing up.

Sorry, did you say something?

The Sharkbite movies?

Have you seen them?

Yeah, unfortunately.

I think they're kind of fun.

Yeah? Which one is this?

The fourth.

Yeah, how can you even tell?

They all look the same.

Well, Kirk Campbell has his signature eye patch. He loses his eye in the

And then a jellyfish explosion.

That's ridiculous.

So, how long have you been on Tinder?

A few months.

Yeah, me too. Well, a month. This is actually the first time I'm meeting

someone.

Yeah, that's cool.

Cool. Oh,

look, I'm going to go to the deck and get some air.

Okay, sure. Want my drink?

No problem.

Thank you.

Let me...

Hey,

so, I don't think this is going to work out. I think I'm going to mingle for the

rest of the trip. Cool?

Didn't you hear that awful sound?

All right, all right, look.

Let's not play games here, you know? I mean, four ways on a handshake.

No hard feelings.

Betty Willis' sheep got free, and she found them on the riverbank all torn to

pieces.

Sheriff Hurley says it's a bobcat.

Hey, you. So I just need something to keep me and my dog safe.

That right there is what you're after.

Got a good grip, light on the trigger.

And it kicks like a mule.

Male bobcat's 30 pounds, a .22 handgun, the sitter's just fine.

Rifle's gonna be easier to reload.

Well, they're quick, too. I doubt she's gonna get a second shot in.

And I'm guessing you don't want to kill it, right? To scare it?

Smart girl.

I'll take it.

Now, where can I find my mineral spirit?

Second aisle.

Second aisle.

Nice to see you, Mrs. Chapman.

Didn't expect you back till next week.

Finished finals? Thought I'd surprise you.

What about your labs?

Can't fold.

Well,

it's good to have you back.

Had to.

Mitchell tradition.

Wouldn't want to miss that fishing rodeo.

Well, we're obviously winning it this year.

Pack that up for Miss Chapman, will you?

Like I never left.

So we'll get crowd shots first, then one -on -ones with the participants, and

the organizers assure me we'll give them time with Jason London.

Yeah. You want 40 minutes of footage, or a 30 -second package that they're going

to vary between sports and weather.

If we only get 30 seconds, it'll be the best 30 seconds they've seen.

It's just fish.

And Deep Throat was just a guy in a parking garage until he toppled a

presidency.

Story of the century.

We're set up by the podium.

Where do you want me to put the dumpsters?

Oh, just over there somewhere.

Just when will you be able to pick them up?

Until tomorrow.

Tomorrow? I don't need clean ones by then.

Sorry. Sorry.

Any word from Jason London?

Uh, no, but we may have a much bigger problem.

A bigger problem than our celebrity guest being a no -show? The man's name

the damn sign.

Yeah, no, no, you can say it's bigger than that.

Um, I just got word that there was a bit of a...

on a steamboat down in New Orleans. Now, they aren't sure, but they think there

was a shark attack.

A lot of people died. They are sure of that.

Was Jason London one of them?

Well, I wasn't informed that there was any Jason London giblets, so I'm going

say no. And why are you wasting my time?

Um, because the governor's office just sent us this memo.

Of course, I think that all nearby counties feast all activities on the

until they can figure out more, which is going to take a really long time

because of the government. Well, you can just tell the governor's office that

they can kindly take that notice and fold it sideways and then cram it where

elves don't play.

Do you know how much money I have sunk into this thing? The answer is too

much.

Why would sharks attack a riverboat?

I mean, something isn't right.

Why are we still talking about this?

Because what if the sharks swim up here?

This is the Mississippi.

Hundreds of miles between us and New Orleans.

What are the odds?

I don't want to hurt you, so get...

You

sure your uncle's going to be okay with us messing with his record?

What he doesn't know won't hurt me.

Besides, I drive the dang thing.

All he does is lay around the junkyard reading Proust all day.

Is that a euphemism I don't understand?

No, my uncle's really lazy, but he's, like, super deep.

What you boys got there?

Oh, this right here?

This is gonna catch us the biggest fish of the day.

Only two things you need to catch fish.

With all due respect, sir, we'll stick to our plan. Yeah.

Good luck, boy.

You're gonna need it.

Leave that guy one two years in a row. Don't let him get

to you.

This year's ours.

You dang right.

A few hours, I'll be on that podium, raising the trophy in victory, standing

next to the best guy I know. Thanks a lot. Jason London.

The man, the myth, the legend. I'm trying not to faint.

I make no promises.

Is that Tara Mitchell?

Huh.

Never thought I'd see her back in Podunk.

Did you know she was coming back?

Okay.

Think it's gonna be a big turnout this year?

Sure do.

This year's prize includes a pickup to one of Big Bill's lots.

Really? That'd be great for the store.

We can start doing those lumber deliveries.

We?

Yeah.

I've been meaning to tell you. I switched my major.

Here. You chose Hearst specifically for its biochemistry program.

Changed my mind.

What'd you change it to?

Business. So I can help with the hardware store.

You're getting older.

You can't do it alone.

Yeah, I'm not that old.

You don't need to worry about me, okay?

It's a family business.

Who's going to take care of it if not me?

I sent you off to school so you could follow your own path.

Maybe this is my path.

Ladies and gentlemen, can I get everyone's attention?

As most of you know, I'm Big Bill Braddock.

With Big Bill Braddock.

Otto Emporium.

And I want to thank you all for coming down and supporting the rodeo today.

Oh, and I see we got last year's winner right up front.

Give him a big old wave, Possum.

Possum caught a 90 -pounder.

91 .55.

That's what you're up against, folks.

Rules are real simple.

You got three miles of majestic Mississippi River boundaries marked by

Don't matter how you catch it. Just bring the catfish back down here, and

waymaster, toss it up on the hook.

Biggest fish wins.

Any questions?

Just one?

Just a little movie magic, folks.

Ladies and gentlemen, you know him as Kirk Campbell.

Special ops sniper turned marine biologist in Shark Tank. One, two,

five. One, two, four, and five. The ones that matter.

Your favorite action hero in mass, Jason London.

Welcome, Bill.

So nice to be here, everybody.

really honored to be part of such a fantastic event so let's get the show on

road shall we all right on you mark get set

and be sure to go watch shark bite six here comes santa jaws the theater's this

christmas

What is this thing again?

We're not finished discussing this here.

Dad, it's my choice.

Well, I'll be.

Possum? Ray?

What are you doing out here?

I'm not thinking of competing.

I'm trying to spend some quality time with my daughter.

Tara?

Possum?

Well, can't fault the man for wanting to play in the water.

As long as you haven't got no delusions of winning the prize money.

Yeah, I think 20 years of losing ought to be enough for any man.

Don't you?

That wouldn't count us out just yet, right?

No.

Hello.

I'll be right there.

Shipment just came in. Truck's waiting. Store.

Now? Driver must have messed up the days.

My, my, my.

What a shame.

Well, I'll come with you.

Tara, this isn't your responsibility.

This is what I'm talking about. Everything falls on you.

I don't want your help, Tara.

Look, I want more for you than just working at the shop.

Bait some hooks and hold tight.

Jason, Jason, Mitchell, I'm actually your biggest fan.

That's great. No, like top of the... Oh, sorry.

Yeah, could you... Do you want to sign my shirt?

Sure.

Here you go. All right. Excellent.

Hi, hi. I'm Allison Harding with WIQZ. Can I get a few minutes with you?

Uh, local affiliate?

Biloxi.

Listen, I only do the major markets.

You know, I've got to protect the brand. You know what I'm saying?

Thanks. But, um, I'm staying at the casino in Pueblo.

Maybe later, you know?

All right.

Yeah, you? You next? All right, here.

Let me help.

Eric, right?

That's me.

Hey, how are you?

Good, great.

Good.

I've been working at Big Bill's Car Light. I'm Smart's Employee of the

Oh, wow. That's awesome.

You're at Hearst, right?

Yeah. You must be right at home there.

What does that mean?

Just with, like, the great scientific minds of our generation.

I don't know about that. Oh, come on.

Your study on the enzymatic hydrolysis of cellulose and the production of

cellulosic ethanol for the science fair? I mean, that was crazy impressive.

That was my presentation at regionals. I didn't display that at the high school.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

A couple of us took a road trip to, you know, cheer you on.

I didn't know that.

No big deal.

School spirit.

I mean, while you drove, I just chipped you up your gas, really.

Eric, sorry, that's actually not mine.

Sorry.

Whoa!

What the?

I just got an interesting text from Mason.

He's down in New Orleans covering a shark attack.

Get out.

Apparently a bunch of them took out a steamboat. The government's trying to

it hush -hush.

Wait, there are sharks in the Mississippi?

Sheriff, we got a call about some loud yelling down by Brady's Pass.

You want to check it out?

What do you think?

That broke out?

Not sure.

Someone's making a whole lot of noise about something.

Let's go.

When are you heading out?

I'm just waiting for my dad.

You?

All set up.

Catfish beware.

Oh. You gonna repossess them?

Wyatt has this theory.

Everyone fishes out on the river on the banks.

Safest place for the fish is in the harbor, so it makes sense that, uh, the

biggest ones would be around here.

Because they live longer.

It's a working theory.

Yeah. Okay.

Dude, you missed it. I just met Jason London.

I mean, he's like a god amongst men. Fearing anyone's, like, looking into a

solar eclipse.

Still kind of seeing those spots.

Why it's a fan.

Yeah.

I don't see any appeal.

You don't like the shirt, by the way?

Not really.

I mean, three is okay.

We don't mention three. We never mention three. Three is verboten.

Shark bite three.

Prawn of the day. It's the only one without Jason Ludd.

Maybe don't say his name like that.

Yes, sis.

It's a little disrespectful.

Hey,

Dad. Tara?

You're not ditching me, are you?

Tara, are you on the water?

No, I was waiting for you.

I need you to stay right where you are, okay?

Do not take the boat out, promise.

Okay, you're scaring me. What's going on?

There are sharks in the water.

There are sharks in the water.

Go down, Dad. You're not making any sense.

Baby, I gotta go.

Just stay off the river, okay?

Stay off the river.

Dad.

Dad.

Hey, is everything okay?

I just got a really weird call from my dad.

What did he say?

I think something's wrong. Do you have a car?

Sure, I can take you anywhere you need to go.

Can I just... One minute.

We have been planning this for months.

You, me, and the Mekong.

You can't just bail.

We need to get out on the water.

Look at her. She's distressed.

I'm distressed.

Look, I get it. You've had this thing for her since high school. No, it's not.

But, but, she spent four years barely registering your existence.

And now you want to give up our shot at glory?

Because of what?

Because she wants to carpool?

I'll be back soon if I can.

Betrayal cuts real deep, dude.

Howdy, Ray.

Rough morning?

Might have a fine catch, puzzle.

94 and a quarter pounds.

That one was going to be tough to beat for sure.

You might as well call this contest early, fellas.

Don't count your chickens before the hatch. A lot of day left.

Bill? What is it?

We have a bit of an issue.

Mr. London isn't at his booth, and everyone's starting to get really

I have to do everything myself.

Now, where is he and what is he up to?

One fish.

Two fish.

Red fish.

Dead fish.

Bang!

And that, ladies, is how it's done.

And if you really like that, you're going to have to check out my sci -fi

cop film, Narc Sharks 2.

The thin blue line.

He's all business.

I'm all heart.

We start shooting in two weeks. It's going to be awesome. Mr. London!

Barry, there he is.

It's Bill.

All right, what can I do you for, pal?

We've got your table set up for autographs. There's a line forming.

I'm leaving soon.

I'm only contracted for two hours, buddy.

You are an hour and a half late.

Listen, listen. Look, I feel you. I really do. I don't mean to be a

here, but, you know, I've got troubles of my own.

But, hey, Boudreaux, listen to this.

Next year, you, me, you clear your schedule, I'll give my people a clear

huh? We'll do this the right way this time.

Bigger and better.

Bigger and better.

Ladies!

Did you hear that?

Someone just turned into a cat.

Who could have done this?

Sharks.

What are you talking about, sharks?

There's a shark in the river.

Maybe more than one.

Wait, did you know about this?

I might have.

I thought it was a sham.

Who ever heard of sharks in a river?

Bull sharks can live in fresh water.

You know what? Can we just stop and talk about the real victim here?

Please?

I mean, I came here to host this thing, and now I'm going to be scarred for life

because of some severed head.

Mrs. Chapman is a real person with friends and family who will miss her.

Yes, you're right.

I don't know what I was thinking.

Come here, bring it in. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I was really insensitive.

I'm really sorry about this chapstick.

I'm so sorry. This is serious.

There are at least 40 fishermen on the river. We need to warn them.

Oh, okay.

You know what, guys?

We have a situation here. But luckily for everyone, there's no one more

qualified to deal with it than me.

And how do you figure that?

Because I know sharks.

I know what they think.

I know how they feel.

I know what they dream about at night, and I'm their worst nightmare. It's like

what I said in Shark Bike 5, Shark of the Covenant.

That mammal might have the teeth.

This mammal's got the brains.

Sharks aren't mammals.

They're chondrichthys. Yeah, listen, princess. I don't actually write the

I just say them with style, you know.

And if anyone's going to carry us out of this dark hour, it's going to be me.

Excuse me for a second.

Buster, listen.

In case things go sideways and you don't make it out, Um, I think I could get

paid up front.

Good gravy.

Are you sure it was a shark?

I bet my life on it.

We've been having some trouble with the bobcat.

You know, Hurley, I may be getting old, but I can still tell the difference

between a shark and a bobcat.

It's the fur, ain't it?

Well, shoot.

Still around?

He swam off that away.

Well, I can't leave him floating down a river.

Let's get him on land and I'll call it in.

I really don't think you should go in there.

It's fine.

Because you're going to cover me.

This is a terrible idea.

It's my job, Ray.

See the shark?

You shoot.

It's Myrtle Hutchins.

Just bought a brand new four -wheeler, too.

Damn shame.

You okay?

Yep.

Oh my gosh, should I skip a meal with three?

That was close.

It's all in the reflex.

Ain't no shark gonna get the jump on me.

Harley!

Where is he? He's right behind you!

Swim faster! Come on!

Come on!

Kind of close.

Kind of?

He almost got you.

I meant the bullet.

Were you aiming for me or the shark?

You told me to shoot.

Never said anything about aiming.

Thanks.

Next time we stay out of the water.

Agreed.

Son of a fish got my boot.

Better than your leg.

Heck, but now I'm going to be all lopsided.

What is this?

Officer!

Officer! Allison Harding, WIQZ. Can you tell me what's happening?

Oh, excuse me, ma 'am. This is still an active crime scene. Is there a reason

you're all wet?

Please back away.

I'm missing a boot.

Whoa, Harding! You gotta see this!

You'll get more than a 30 -second smile with this!

Sir, I need you to back away from the water!

We need to close down the rodeo. If I cancel this thing now, I'll lose my

Listen, if a fisherman gets hurt out there by one of those things and they

out you knew about the sharks and didn't tell anyone, you're going to lose more

than your shirt.

You need to make an announcement, and we'll try and reach those still on the

river. Excuse me, but which one of us here is the shark expert?

Neither.

Really? And what is it that you do?

I'm in college.

Getting your missus degree?

Actually, she's a brilliant scientist.

Enough! I'll make the damn announcement. I'll do it.

Listen, the people need to hear this from someone that they respect and

I'm an actor.

People care what I have to say.

I got this, Billie Jean.

All right?

It's... I got enough to deal with.

A man's heart is as big as his head, am I right?

We should find a light.

Are you sure you got this?

Piece of cake.

One, two.

You enjoying the radio?

That's a shame because we had to cancel the event immediately.

No way.

That's right. You were all in horrible, horrible danger. So, uh, pack it up.

Are you not hearing me? There are sharks in the water.

They'll eat you. They'll eat your kids.

Now do shark fight three.

You know I wasn't in shark fight three.

Huh. Done being a chauffeur for the day.

Hope she gave you a tip.

Not now, Wyatt. We got a big problem.

There's sharks in the water.

Well, that sucks.

Wait, you're not surprised?

Shark poaching is on the rise. Only makes sense for the sharks to relocate

quieter water to hunt.

Besides, bull sharks can survive in the fresh water.

Really?

Come on, it was a plot of Shark Fight 2. Sharks and the Ozarks?

Come on.

Oh, I think we got something.

Oh, whoa!

Listen, come on, boys. Come to mama. Come on.

This is gonna be a shoot.

Why? Don't.

This is gonna be like a 500 -pound Mekong right here, man. Back up, why?

on. You gotta get him in first. Don't make it rain with that prize money.

No, that's not a catfish.

Where's that hot little reporter?

Hey,

kid, hey, do me a

favor. Look, record this for me, okay?

All right, there's a dollar in it for you.

Hey, hey, be sure to keep me in the frame, okay? Just me in the frame, all

right?

Guys, I'm coming!

Not all heroes were taped.

Oh, that's a high train for sure.

Okay.

You believe me now, people?

You're welcome, by the way.

Thank you.

At least I kept you in frame.

Yeah, thanks for nothing, kid.

Where'd you get the popsicle?

You okay?

Yeah.

I'm fine.

We did it.

We got the shark.

Yeah. Hero.

Guys.

Yes, Mo, I know. It's my turn.

Uh -huh. Hey, uh, Lanyard, are you in charge here?

Uh, yes, at the moment. It seems that I am in charge.

There are sharks in the marina.

We need to set down the competition.

Like hell.

This right here?

This is sabotage.

Did you not just see the shark we caught?

Oh, you caught a shark, did you?

In that contraption of yours.

Yeah, pulled it up by the tail.

And it was big?

It was huge.

What a shame.

As it clearly states in the Monsters of the Mississippi rule book, page 47,

section 4, paragraph 2 .2b, that any fish caught and entered

into this competition must be indigenous to this river in order to qualify.

Possum, no one cares about the competition. People are dying.

How many are registered?

Uh, it says we have 35 participants.

Did they sign up with phone numbers?

I mean, there's a slot board on the entry form, but I don't have those with

Can we get them?

I mean, they're back in the harbor house. Yeah, I can go and get them.

right, I'll see you.

You all right?

No.

It's my first assignment.

And I just wanted to do a good job.

Terrence. Terrence, you there?

I'm here.

This is gonna sound real crazy, but we're getting calls about a shark at the

marina.

Tara.

On my way.

What's taking that guy so long?

I'm thinking I should just go look for him.

Hey, would you leave that alone?

Wait,

wait, what about this?

Be serious. This is for our Christmas card.

A little to the left.

A little bit more.

A little bit more. Perfect.

Say shark attack.

Shark attack.

How's it going, boss?

Brain freeze.

God, I'm having the worst luck today.

Oh, we're not going to stop.

Oh, we're not going to shut it down. Big fish festival. If we need to sell cars.

What about the dead people, Bill? People are getting eaten by sharks. That's

okay. The people need cars. Okay.

Oh,

okay.

Oh, I've been in so much trouble.

It's so bad.

Oh, man.

David.

Seriously? Obviously pretty good.

No.

I hope that papers are still legally binding.

Thank you, science. Good boy, you see.

There's so many.

It's the blood in the water.

Someone might as well have rang a dinner bell.

What are we going to do?

We need to take them out.

Wyatt, this isn't a shark fight movie. We just can't take out a pack of hungry

sharks. Well, we have to do something.

I mean, if we leave them, they're just... They're going to be up and down

Mississippi, and there's going to be no way to catch them.

No, he has a point.

People are still out on the river.

We should take care of them here before anyone else gets killed.

We're dead.

Yeah.

We'd need an army.

I'd settle for their guns.

You know where we can get some?

I don't care who you have to call to make it happen. Just make it happen. Get

out of here or you're fired.

Hey, Mr.

London.

We're going to get reinforcements. We're going to fight these things.

That is a great idea.

I'm going to stay right here and wait for my police escort.

Aren't you going to help?

In the last hour, I've wrestled a shark.

I've seen a man eaten alive and I've been attacked by a head. So I'm going to

just stay right here.

And not go anywhere.

But this is your thing.

No shark is a match for you.

Nice try.

Hard pass.

What about all the innocent people who are still in the water?

Look, kid.

My priority is keeping this right here in one piece today.

So, it's all right.

Good luck, though.

I thought you were a hero.

But you're a fraud.

Leave her.

My dad shoppers across the river. Let's take the boat. It's faster.

Yeah, let's go.

Let's go be real heroes.

I am a real hero.

Got my own franchise to prove it.

Um, Miss, uh... Uh...

Okay,

London.

Let's show these people what a sci -fi movie award winner for best shirtless

performance can do.

One fish.

Two fish.

Redfish! Dead fish!

Jake!

Jake! I gotta get off the boat.

Please be alive. Please be alive.

Do you see him?

Do you see him?

Maybe he's still okay.

That's less reassuring.

We're never getting to Sharkbite 7.

I'm sorry, Wyatt, but I think we should go. Yeah.

Let's take my car.

We're not a hero.

I can't believe he's gone.

I know.

I know.

I mean, he's supposed to have Jeremy.

I'm going to have a shark bite marathon when this is over.

One through five.

Not three.

Never three.

I don't think he'd like that.

Oh!

I called that dirty hearing gun.

That is a .45. Dirty Harry had a .44.

Well, I call the shotgun.

You know, I don't think we have enough.

I think we may need more.

Like...

With knives?

Like bombs.

Your dad sells bombs?

No, her dad doesn't sell bombs.

Right?

No, he doesn't sell bombs, but he should have everything here to make them.

To make bombs?

Oh, you know, actually...

Could you just grab the fertilizer over there? Right, yeah.

Just grab the... Okay.

Fertilizer, so we can make the sharks grow.

It has ammonium nitrate. I'm just going to do some simple chemical reactions.

Brilliant scientist, dude.

So what's the plan?

Same as it's always been.

I go fishing.

One fish, two fish, red fish.

So

is

this what they're teaching you to rehearse these days?

I wouldn't know.

I dropped out of the science program.

Why?

It just wasn't what I was expecting.

Got there and everyone was so smart.

This little fish in a giant pond.

Don't.

I guess I realized that maybe I wasn't good enough.

How can you say that?

Look at what you're doing here.

Making bombs.

Well, yeah.

I guess specifically, but you made all of these combinations.

This is who you are.

Yeah, I used to think so.

Not really sure anymore, though.

Do you love it?

Yeah. Then do it.

It's not that simple. Then why not?

What if I fail?

Then you fail at something you want to do.

And I think that's a lot better than succeeding at something you don't.

For the record?

I believe in you.

All packed.

Ready to roll?

Yeah, yeah, we're all done.

No.

What? No, look, I got it.

Have to reach you guys. No.

Oh, come on. If not now, when?

Killjoy.

It's going to work in the water?

Yeah, the wicks are coated with nitrocellulose lacquer, so they should

Right. Now, yeah, of course, nitrocellulose.

Let's go before anyone else does.

but we're getting more reports of sharks in the water.

Oh, I'd believe it.

We got no cars to send. Deputy's out on a call.

What's your ETA?

I'm about 15 now to the station.

Oh, and Lala, can you wrangle me up an extra foot?

Look out!

Sir, are you okay?

Well, I look lucky.

I think we were long overdue.

Lala, scratch the boot.

I'm gonna need a tow truck.

So, um, you guys seem to be getting close.

It's just the situation.

A situation you should make the most of.

What is that supposed to mean?

She's distraught.

She needs a shoulder to cry on. You've got a great shoulder.

I don't think so.

Okay, but literally, what is the worst thing that could happen?

Cursing humiliation.

Total rejection.

Eventual heartbreak.

Shark attack?

They didn't say that.

But no, those three are really important too.

This isn't working.

I can't get a lock on them.

Maybe if we move closer?

Let's try this.

No, dude, you just scared it.

Damn.

We may need a new plan.

What if we put some bombs in some fish? What in tarnation are you kids doing?

We're taking out the sharks.

You're taking out the boats.

My insurance don't cover this.

Well, we're saving lives.

You're causing mayhem.

You're out here on private property with rifles and... Is that a bag of bombs?

How many laws you've broken?

One. No.

Two. No!

Well, I'm out of guesses.

There is blood on your hands.

There are sharks in the river, and they're eating people. You've done

about it.

I've had enough of this.

Oh, hey, come on. Let me give it to him. Oh, hey.

Okay. Okay. Oh, let's just calm down, okay?

What are you going to do? Shoot him? Oh, yeah. No, he might. He might shoot me.

Girl, you need to learn to respect your elders.

I respect you. I totally respect you, dude. You're old.

Now, I've had enough of you kids ruining my beautiful,

expensive festival. That was the sharks. The sharks ain't never done nothing to

me. But you all, hell no.

My money, all my money.

Sharks are an endangered species, you know.

Can't get any reception for some reason.

It won't be long, Ray.

It's just that Tara and me didn't leave things on the best of terms.

We had a little, uh, disagreement.

Really?

She up to no good at that fancy college, huh?

Drinking, drugging.

No. She wants to take over the hardware store.

You lost me, pal.

I ain't done a good thing.

She said ever since she was a little kid, she loved science, you know?

She's five years old. She asked me for a microscope so she could study the

leaves outside.

It's always been her dream, and now suddenly... it isn't.

Maybe it was too much for her.

No. See, my tear is as bright as it comes.

She's a presidential scholar.

That's what it means.

Sometimes when people have such high expectations, it can be overwhelming.

Maybe she was just scared to disappoint you.

I guess I just wanted something more for her than this tiny little town.

Hey, now, what's wrong with this tiny town?

I mean, it's a fine place to live. We got friendly folks, good food.

Sharks. Well, now to be fair, that part's new.

Think it's another attack?

Better go find out.

Early, I got to get to the marina.

I need to see my own eyes if my tear is okay.

I'll meet you there. Bye.

Come on.

Are we far?

A few miles.

I'm sure she's okay.

I was at the marina a little while ago. No sharks in sight.

Can I offer some very unsolicited advice?

I suppose.

You should let her make her own mistakes.

We get there and she's happy, healthy, and in one piece, I'll let her drop out

of school and join the damn circus. How's that?

That's for me.

Hey, I need you to get off the water.

There's a shark in here.

I know that already.

I'm not coming in after you. Now grab your damn oars. I'll get that sumbitch.

Idiot.

You're gonna get yourself eaten.

No, I can do this.

Well, damn.

Coast is clear. He's gone.

What do we do now?

I mean, we just can't give up. I mean, their lives at stake.

I don't know what else we can do.

We murder Big Bill.

No.

Okay, I got it. What if we spin the Earth backwards and we reset the

Be serious, why?

Destroy the last horcrux. Wyatt!

At least I'm trying.

I mean,

you two look like you're ready to quit.

Unbelievable.

Let me tell you a story about

a little boy who desperately wanted to ride a bike, but one of his legs was a

half an inch shorter than the other one, proving his goal to be nearly

impossible.

Really? Sure, he was discouraged.

There were bumps, and there were bruises, and there were fat lips along

but he tried.

And every morning, he got up with the sun and he peddled his little heart out.

Until one day, he found himself soaring through the middle of town, winded in

the air.

Do you know who that little boy was?

You?

No!

Jason London!

It's like she hasn't been listening to anything I've said today.

Great story, Wabba. How's that gonna help us?

The point is...

If you want something, you don't give up.

Wait.

How strong is this wrecker crane?

Pretty strong, but it took a beating earlier pulling up that shark.

Can you fix it?

It took about half an hour or so, but I think we can do it.

The wrecker's not going to help us with that many sharks.

I mean, what, are we going to pull them in one by one?

You see that bridge?

Yeah. We use it as a pulley, dropping it big enough for all of them.

They swim in, we spring the trap, pull them up with the crane using the bridge

as a fulcrum.

Exactly, exactly.

Oh, you're serious? Okay.

Am I really going to have to be the voice of reason here? Because if that's

case, we're in a lot of trouble.

You don't think it's going to work?

What, are we going to sweet -talk them into getting in the net?

No, we'll chum the water. There's tons of it because of the competition.

They'll come to us.

Okay, so we scoop them up, and then what, they just hang out?

No. Then we use a bomb.

See, now that's a great idea. Except that jackwad took all the bombs.

Not all of them.

Kids and their damn vigilante justice were trying to ruin my face.

Possum?

What you got there, possum?

Nothing. Oh, nothing.

Nope.

What you got behind your back?

River,

mostly. Enough fooling. You hand that over right now.

This here is mine.

I want it fair and square. That is the property of the monsters on the

Mississippi. And by extension me, it is to leave my possession only when

the winner is crowned. You saw my catch.

Ain't nobody gonna win but me.

You hand that over right now.

Fat chance.

If I can't have it, nobody can.

Let go.

It's mine.

It's not. It is.

It is.

It is.

How's it going down there?

Good.

Hey, can you pass me that socket wrench?

Okay, this will work, I think. I'm just talking with you.

Here.

I knew that.

Did you?

Okay, no.

Because my dad owns a hardware store?

Well, I didn't want to assume.

Why didn't we hang out in high school?

I think you'd have to have noticed me first.

I noticed you.

What?

Oh.

Are you okay?

Yeah, no problem.

Here.

You notice me?

Sure.

I just thought you hated me.

What? Yeah, you were always avoiding me in the halls, and you'd never look at

me. Oh, no.

That I hate you.

Any clue where we're going to get a big enough net?

Oh, there should be plenty by the marina.

Why don't you go and check why while me and Tara finish working on the record?

Oh, yeah, um... No, I don't... I don't think I should go there alone, because

he's got that gun, and he could shoot me with it, and plus I'm allergic to musk,

which it would get to my... It's fine, I'll go.

I'll go.

Yeah, that's probably a safer idea.

Hey, I think she likes the cut of your jib.

You get us like a crane joke?

Or a boat joke.

Or a marine joke if you were in the marines, because that was something.

You okay?

Yeah.

Stupid.

That's the only problem? I didn't know if you had more.

Because, man, I knew you were stupid.

Because that's like a...

That should be big enough.

Perfect. Did you see Big Bill?

I think the sharks got to him.

Why?

I mean, oh, no, that's not good.

I'm going to grab the net.

Oh, man.

I didn't carry this.

I'm going to get the chum. I'll be back in 15.

Hey, Tara.

Yeah?

You think when this is over that maybe we can grab a coffee sometime?

Yeah, I'd like that.

Great.

Maybe you don't die first.

Do you think there's a chance that that might happen?

I'm just kidding.

I knew that time.

I was just playing along.

We in on the joke.

I'm sorry about earlier.

I trust you to make your own decisions, and I'll support them, whatever they

are. Thanks, Dad, but I think I'm going to drop my business major and get back

in the lab.

Only if that's what you really want to do.

It is.

A heartwarming reunion between father and daughter amid the chaos of the day.

Hello?

Allison Harding, WIQZ.

Where is everyone?

Oh, I can tell you on the way, but can you help me with this?

What's in it?

All right, then.

Are they gone?

They've been swimming in the marina all day.

I don't know why they'd suddenly leave.

Must have swam up the river.

Do you think we're too late?

Looks like we finally gonna get some fishing done.

Why?

Get ready, on my call!

Yeah!

I think we got it!

Yes! It worked!

It worked!

I'm coming up!

I can't believe that worked! Never any doubt.

Do I even want to know how you got a pipe bomb?

I, um, I made it.

You made it?

Yeah, well, I mean, you're the one who's always encouraging me to pursue

science, so I... Sweetheart, you know darn well that is not what I meant.

Can I throw the bomb?

Uh, no, I really think I should do it.

Yeah, well, last time you missed by a mile.

And we just have the one, so...

Okay, but to be fair, I mean, that was a moving target.

This is, I mean, I can do this.

It is more of a drop than a throw.

Mm -hmm.

Okay.

I will not let you down.

Allison Harding, WIQZ. I am here on South Harbor Bridge where three locals

just gone toe -to -toe with a pack of sharks and one.

The shiver of sharks, actually.

Hey, sharks!

Who's your dad?

Oops.

That was huge.

That totally would have worked.

Allison Harding, WIQZ. I am here on South Harbor Bridge, where one man's

ineptitude has just doomed a small town. All the sharks are out of the water,

and all the people are safe. I mean, that's the important part.

Right?

Why is it falling?

The wrecker.

Hey, where you at with that lumbar?

Hey, I'm doing you a favor. I should be driving the dump truck right now.

Just hurry.

Hell of a day.

What else could go wrong?

Those brakes aren't holding.

The sharks are heavier than the truck. They're going to pull it clean off the

wheels. What are we going to do?

Shark bite four.

Shark bite four. Sharkpocalypse now? We need to get them on to dry land.

Come on, it was in the trailer.

Never mind, we'll watch it later.

We need to get that sack of sharks onto the road.

Can we do that?

Yeah, I mean, we're halfway there. We just have to get the net the rest of the

way in.

The rope's as far as it'll go.

Somebody needs to drive the wrecker forward.

Let's do it.

For Jason London.

For Jason London?

Yes! Yeah!

For Jason London.

Yeah!

Who is Jason London?

Later.

You are your own hero.

I am my own hero.

You will be a lighthouse on the rocky shore of self -doubt.

I will be a lighthouse on the rocky shore of self -doubt.

Oh, no.

Uh -oh.

You need to go.

It won't start.

Come on!

Come on!

Okay, come on, Belinda.

I've been so good to you.

I've, like, oiled you.

I haven't cleaned you in, like, eight years, but I've done all kinds of other

stuff. You can just do this one thing for me.

Continue your journey to the best you.

Turn the tape to side B.

Oh, no.

They're on the bridge!

They're on the bridge!

They're on the bridge!

Thank you.

That works.

I'd feel bad, but they ate Mrs. Chapman.

Really?

She was such a good customer.

Come on, Delona.

All right!

Allison Harding, WIQZ. I am here on South Harbor Bridge, where a gory

has just saved a small town from the terrifying and unlikely jaws of the

Mississippi.

Didn't hurt.

He's stronger than you.

Come here.

Looks like your story's going to turn out okay after all. I got it.

Lost my cameraman.

Yeah, that was bad.

So, uh, about that coffee?

Actually, I don't drink coffee.

Oh.

Wait, you're messing with me. It's just so easy.

three months since a wave of shark attacks rocked the Mississippi.

But animal rights activists have renewed calls for a boycott of one local

trucking company after details emerged about a driver's reckless encounter with

a group of bull sharks.

Here's Landon with more on the story.

Hey, Dad.

Mr. Mitchell.

Good to see you, Eric.

You ready to go?

Almost.

You're sure you're okay to leave this door right now?

Yeah. I'm gonna let my new apprentice close up.

Hey, uh, see you guys later.

Good luck.

Catch a big one.

Hey, Manson, are you okay leaving him with your gun?

Well, I don't know about that, but, uh...

I'm working on it.

Hey, I'll get the door.

Thank you, Eric. He was a beat cop who'd seen too much. Now he'll need some help

to take a bite out of crime.

Meet your new partner.

I don't work with fish.

Jeremy London stars in Larkshark 2, The Thin Blue Line.

Excuse me.

Do you have a phone I could borrow? My battery's dead and I'm completely lost.

Yeah, we have a phone.

I like your... You know what it reminds me of?

Have you ever seen the Sharkbite movies?

You like Sharkbite movies?

Yeah, I know. They're kind of silly.

No, no, no. I love them.

Really? Yeah, just a favorite. Kind of my favorite.

Wow.

Oh, right. Sorry. Phone. Yeah, so there's the... Not to

brag or anything, but I just recently

fought off a shiver of Let There Be Sharks Helping Don't Destruction.

Really?

Yeah. Me too.