All language subtitles for The Drew Carey Show (1995) - S01E03 - Nature Abhors a Vacuum (720p DVD Upscale x264 8bit AAC 2.0 DJPitaB).eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,705 --> 00:00:06,751 Suzie! 2 00:00:06,791 --> 00:00:07,931 Great. Thanks for coming by. 3 00:00:07,967 --> 00:00:09,928 Uh, please have a seat. 4 00:00:11,638 --> 00:00:12,764 So, how you been? 5 00:00:14,098 --> 00:00:15,475 Fine. Yourself? 6 00:00:15,558 --> 00:00:18,686 Oh, a little of this, a little of that. 7 00:00:18,770 --> 00:00:21,105 Okay, Suzie, this is never easy, 8 00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:23,399 but, uh... you're fired. 9 00:00:23,483 --> 00:00:24,400 What? 10 00:00:24,484 --> 00:00:26,236 You're kidding me. 11 00:00:26,319 --> 00:00:31,241 Well, you've been late for 22 out of the last 30 days. 12 00:00:31,324 --> 00:00:33,910 Okay. There's an answer for that. 13 00:00:33,993 --> 00:00:36,746 I hate to say anything bad about anyone, 14 00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:39,832 but the driver in my carpool is on drugs. 15 00:00:42,001 --> 00:00:43,461 Then there are those suspicious 16 00:00:43,545 --> 00:00:44,921 waste basket fires that seem to follow you 17 00:00:45,004 --> 00:00:47,674 from department to department. 18 00:00:47,757 --> 00:00:50,593 Employees smoking. I can give you names 19 00:00:50,677 --> 00:00:51,719 if you want them. 20 00:00:51,803 --> 00:00:53,429 How about constantly blaming others 21 00:00:53,513 --> 00:00:55,390 for everything that you do wrong? 22 00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:57,058 That's not my fault. That's your fault. 23 00:00:57,141 --> 00:00:58,476 You hired me. 24 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,020 Give me that paper back. 25 00:01:02,355 --> 00:01:05,066 Just a few more times to make sure. 26 00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:10,071 Let me know if you need any references. 27 00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:12,365 Have you discussed this with your boss? 28 00:01:12,448 --> 00:01:13,616 No. I don't have to. 29 00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:15,577 This isn't Mr. Bell's job. This is my job. 30 00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:18,246 Now, just kindly turn in your register key 31 00:01:18,329 --> 00:01:19,998 and leave the store. 32 00:01:20,081 --> 00:01:21,749 I can't find my register key. 33 00:01:21,833 --> 00:01:23,334 I think someone stole it. 34 00:01:23,418 --> 00:01:25,044 Alright, that's it. Out! 35 00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:27,422 Goodbye. 36 00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:36,764 What brings you here, Mimi? 37 00:01:36,848 --> 00:01:40,435 Oh, I guess it's your cloven hooves. 38 00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:42,437 Oh, oh, I'm so hurt. 39 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:43,605 You're really hurting me, 40 00:01:43,688 --> 00:01:46,608 like I never heard that one before. 41 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:49,444 Oops. 42 00:01:49,527 --> 00:01:52,947 Did I just overhear you firing Suzie? 43 00:01:53,031 --> 00:01:53,906 Well, I was firing her, 44 00:01:53,990 --> 00:01:56,909 but I was thinking of you the whole time. 45 00:01:56,993 --> 00:01:58,786 Drew, play a little game with me. 46 00:01:58,870 --> 00:02:00,163 It'll be worth your time. 47 00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:02,874 Oh, goodie, charades. 48 00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,709 Okay. 49 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,586 "I." 50 00:02:06,669 --> 00:02:08,046 I... lighter. 51 00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:11,470 I... oh, uh, I fire... I fired... 52 00:02:11,494 --> 00:02:12,634 [grunting] 53 00:02:14,594 --> 00:02:17,221 Your father. I fired your father. 54 00:02:20,308 --> 00:02:21,893 Oh, okay. Quasimodo. I get it. 55 00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:25,104 Uh, oh, bell, uh... Oh, bell! Mr. Bell! 56 00:02:25,188 --> 00:02:26,397 I fired Mr. Bell. 57 00:02:26,481 --> 00:02:27,815 I fired Mr. Bell's what? 58 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:33,112 [mimics engine whirring] 59 00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:35,323 I fired Mr. Bell's pencil sharpener. 60 00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:37,700 Oh, my God! 61 00:02:37,701 --> 00:02:38,885 [theme music] 62 00:02:38,910 --> 00:02:42,789 ♪ Moon over Parma, bring my love to me tonight ♪ 63 00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:46,918 ♪ Guide her to Cleveland underneath your silvery light ♪ 64 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,711 ♪ We're goin' bowlin' ♪ 65 00:02:48,795 --> 00:02:50,630 ♪ So don't lose her in Solon ♪ 66 00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:52,715 ♪ Moon over Parma tonight ♪ 67 00:02:57,887 --> 00:02:59,389 [coughing] 68 00:02:59,472 --> 00:02:59,982 Hey, uh, 69 00:03:00,006 --> 00:03:00,515 [coughing] 70 00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,016 mind if I crack the window just a little bit? 71 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:03,851 No. It's too cold out. 72 00:03:03,935 --> 00:03:05,520 Oh, yeah. That'd be unhealthy. 73 00:03:05,603 --> 00:03:06,854 What was I thinking? 74 00:03:06,938 --> 00:03:08,898 Oh, I heard what you did today, Drew. 75 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:09,982 Good for you. 76 00:03:10,066 --> 00:03:11,901 Yeah. It's all over the store. 77 00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:14,237 firing Mr. Bell's girlfriend. 78 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:15,822 Way to go, bonehead. 79 00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:18,074 Hey, I did what had to be done. 80 00:03:18,157 --> 00:03:19,575 I don't care who you are or who you know, 81 00:03:19,659 --> 00:03:20,702 we have standards in this store. 82 00:03:20,785 --> 00:03:22,787 If you don't meet the standards, you know, you're out. 83 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,831 Did you know she was his girlfriend? 84 00:03:24,914 --> 00:03:25,832 Of course I knew. 85 00:03:25,915 --> 00:03:27,583 I know everything that goes on in the store. 86 00:03:27,667 --> 00:03:30,253 I'm, uh, I'm Batman. 87 00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:32,505 So, how come you didn't fire 88 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:34,173 any of his other girlfriends? 89 00:03:34,257 --> 00:03:35,174 How many were there? 90 00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:36,551 Oh, there have been dozens. 91 00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:39,053 I barely escaped myself. 92 00:03:39,137 --> 00:03:40,638 Uh-huh. 93 00:03:42,140 --> 00:03:43,891 Well, this is just one of many. 94 00:03:43,975 --> 00:03:45,393 He probably won't even miss her. 95 00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:46,561 No. Apparently, he and Suzie 96 00:03:46,644 --> 00:03:47,562 were getting pretty serious. 97 00:03:47,645 --> 00:03:50,565 He even agreed to do it with her in bridal wear. 98 00:03:50,648 --> 00:03:53,109 How come I don't know any of this stuff?! 99 00:03:53,192 --> 00:03:55,027 I eavesdrop at the water cooler. 100 00:03:55,111 --> 00:03:56,279 I even put up my feet in the stall 101 00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:57,280 so no one knows I'm there. 102 00:03:57,363 --> 00:03:59,157 What do I got to do, buy a Miracle-Ear? 103 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,701 Well, it is all just rumors. 104 00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:04,370 I mean, you know how often rumors are wrong. 105 00:04:04,454 --> 00:04:06,122 I mean, we heard you were already fired. 106 00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:08,546 [laughter] 107 00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:13,504 And then there's that rumor it's going to be tomorrow. 108 00:04:16,228 --> 00:04:18,228 [instrumental music] 109 00:04:18,468 --> 00:04:20,845 Hey, Drew. Whatcha doin'? 110 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,931 I'm putting up a clothing partition between our homes. 111 00:04:27,977 --> 00:04:29,562 Whoa. Nice shirt. 112 00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:31,731 Little lady would love to see me in this. 113 00:04:31,814 --> 00:04:33,191 Can I buy it? 114 00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:35,234 What?! No! 115 00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:36,819 Come on, Drew, be a friend. 116 00:04:36,903 --> 00:04:39,614 No. Go to the store and buy your own shirt, Jules. 117 00:04:39,697 --> 00:04:42,408 They don't have shirts like this in stores. 118 00:04:42,492 --> 00:04:44,577 I'll give you five bucks. 119 00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:45,787 Hey, Drew, Jules. 120 00:04:45,870 --> 00:04:48,831 Kate, Drew won't sell me this shirt. 121 00:04:48,915 --> 00:04:50,958 Drew, sell him the shirt. You have lots of shirts. 122 00:04:51,042 --> 00:04:52,919 What?! Am I crazy? 123 00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:54,212 Just because someone leaves something outside, 124 00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:55,463 that means it's for sale? 125 00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:57,799 Oh, look, it's the Washington monument. 126 00:04:57,882 --> 00:04:59,300 That'll look great in my front yard. 127 00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:01,427 Just leave them a couple of bucks. 128 00:05:01,511 --> 00:05:04,222 What? You got all these shirts and I got nothing. 129 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:06,808 Get the hell out of my yard, Jules. 130 00:05:08,643 --> 00:05:10,394 Oh, it's like that now. 131 00:05:13,773 --> 00:05:15,817 Great. Now I can't leave them out here. 132 00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:18,319 You know, Drew, as long as you're taking those down, 133 00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:20,571 can I use this line to hang up my starships? 134 00:05:20,655 --> 00:05:22,448 What, are you putting stuff everywhere? 135 00:05:22,532 --> 00:05:24,367 I'm already, uh, regretting letting you use my house 136 00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:25,660 for that sci-fi party. 137 00:05:25,743 --> 00:05:28,037 Drew, you don't even know what a sci-fi party is. 138 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,497 I've been to lots of those. 139 00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,040 Well, you know, a few times. 140 00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:32,708 Went to one in college. 141 00:05:32,792 --> 00:05:34,877 Okay, never been. 142 00:05:34,961 --> 00:05:37,880 So, uh, who goes to these kind of things, anyway? 143 00:05:37,964 --> 00:05:40,049 Well, most of them are trekkers, like Lewis and me. 144 00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:42,718 Some of them are a little weird, but they're cool. 145 00:05:42,802 --> 00:05:43,886 Plus, there's always a few 146 00:05:43,970 --> 00:05:46,264 Star Wars and Babylon 5 fans. 147 00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:49,058 [scoffs] Like that stuff is real. 148 00:05:50,643 --> 00:05:51,894 You going to the party, Oswald? 149 00:05:51,978 --> 00:05:53,771 Nah. I got a little star date of my own. 150 00:05:53,855 --> 00:05:56,274 "Captain's Log, Aroused." 151 00:05:57,650 --> 00:05:58,818 You're not planning on taking her back 152 00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:00,069 to the apartment, are you? 153 00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:01,863 Yeah. Why do you have to mess up our apartment? 154 00:06:01,946 --> 00:06:04,073 Can't you just disappoint her over at her place? 155 00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:08,327 Hey, I may not be good, but at least I'm fast. 156 00:06:09,954 --> 00:06:11,581 Nice. By the time she realizes how bad you are, 157 00:06:11,664 --> 00:06:12,748 you're out of there. 158 00:06:12,832 --> 00:06:14,292 Yeah! 159 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,754 Drew, if I tell you something, 160 00:06:18,838 --> 00:06:22,133 do you promise not to say it's stupid? 161 00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:24,051 Okay. We can talk about anything you want 162 00:06:24,135 --> 00:06:25,803 as long as it's not about work. 163 00:06:25,887 --> 00:06:26,762 Okay. 164 00:06:28,598 --> 00:06:31,767 At work... what do you think about me 165 00:06:31,851 --> 00:06:33,269 pitching Mr. Bell a day spa, you know, 166 00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:35,062 women come in get facials, 167 00:06:35,146 --> 00:06:36,814 manicures, that sort of thing? 168 00:06:36,898 --> 00:06:38,482 Hey, that's a great idea. 169 00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:39,984 Thanks. I'm glad you like it. 170 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,777 You know, I don't want to spend my whole life selling lipstick. 171 00:06:41,861 --> 00:06:43,946 And I really think this could be my big break. 172 00:06:44,030 --> 00:06:45,698 Would you help pitch it to Mr. Bell? 173 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:46,574 Yeah, well, you might want to wait 174 00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:48,409 a couple of days on that. Uh, 175 00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:49,702 I just heard around the office 176 00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:50,745 that some dork with black glasses 177 00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:53,039 and a death wish fired his girlfriend. 178 00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:54,373 Oh, my God! You're kidding. 179 00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:55,917 Why would you do that? 180 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,877 Well, you know, I haven't woken up 181 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:58,836 in a cold sweat in weeks. So I thought, 182 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,922 hey, why not fire the boss' girlfriend? 183 00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:02,506 I didn't know it was his girlfriend! 184 00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:03,966 There was a breakdown in office gossip! 185 00:07:04,050 --> 00:07:05,676 Is there no grapevine? 186 00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:08,638 Well, who was it? 187 00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:11,140 Tell me. Oh. Oh, I know. 188 00:07:11,223 --> 00:07:12,433 It's the woman who's always drinking 189 00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:13,976 on the job in shoes? 190 00:07:14,060 --> 00:07:15,144 Someone's drinking in shoes? 191 00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:16,646 Oh, no. I got it. It's that woman 192 00:07:16,729 --> 00:07:18,314 who always spits in the perfume testers 193 00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:19,482 before she sprays people. 194 00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:20,983 Yes. Right? Yeah? 195 00:07:21,067 --> 00:07:23,027 Oh! I use those testers. 196 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,071 Oh, I know, it's that woman that's always 197 00:07:25,154 --> 00:07:26,113 drawing cartoons of you 198 00:07:26,197 --> 00:07:27,365 that make you look ugly and stupid. 199 00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:28,574 Yeah. 200 00:07:30,034 --> 00:07:32,495 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's the one. 201 00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:34,497 What's, uh, what was her name again? 202 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:35,790 Forget it. 203 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:38,334 People really enjoy those cartoons. 204 00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:39,919 Drew, who was it? 205 00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:42,171 Ah, it was Suzie in Sportswear. 206 00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:44,173 These people should wear signs around their necks, 207 00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:46,175 "Don't fire me. I'm doing the boss." 208 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:48,199 [Kate laughing] 209 00:07:51,263 --> 00:07:54,475 Well, maybe he'll find someone else. 210 00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,018 Yeah, but who? 211 00:07:56,102 --> 00:07:57,853 Oh, I know. Maybe that--that woman 212 00:07:57,937 --> 00:07:59,772 who draws those really funny cartoons. 213 00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:01,232 Uh, what was her name again? 214 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,150 Well, she signs her work. 215 00:08:03,234 --> 00:08:05,194 So, you could check the ladies' room. 216 00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:06,278 Oh, yeah? Which one? 217 00:08:06,362 --> 00:08:07,321 All of 'em. 218 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,825 Which floor? All of 'em. 219 00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:12,994 Actually, my favorite's on the third floor. 220 00:08:13,077 --> 00:08:14,787 It's inside the bowl. 221 00:08:16,202 --> 00:08:18,202 [instrumental music] 222 00:08:18,548 --> 00:08:19,792 [Drew] That's not why I was in there. 223 00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:21,335 I'm not a pervert. I'm an art lover. 224 00:08:21,419 --> 00:08:23,546 I love unflattering naked drawings of myself. 225 00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:24,797 Mimi, help me out here. 226 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:25,965 He's a pervert. 227 00:08:27,425 --> 00:08:28,843 Hey, do I bother you when you go in the men's room 228 00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:30,011 to use the urinals? 229 00:08:32,430 --> 00:08:34,974 Those cartoons aren't so realistic. 230 00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:37,018 I don't have flies hanging around my butt. 231 00:08:38,394 --> 00:08:39,729 It's not that funny, Kate. 232 00:08:39,812 --> 00:08:41,021 That's not what I'm smiling at. 233 00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:42,815 Mr. Bell loves my spa idea. 234 00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:45,484 You pitched it. Congratulations. 235 00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:46,777 [telephone ringing] 236 00:08:46,861 --> 00:08:48,237 Yes, Mr. Bell. 237 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,032 [Mr. Bell] I understand you let go of an employee yesterday, Carey. 238 00:08:51,115 --> 00:08:52,867 [stammers] Maybe, maybe not. 239 00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:53,868 How can I help you? 240 00:08:53,951 --> 00:08:55,036 [Mr. Bell] Apparently, rumors are circulating 241 00:08:55,119 --> 00:08:58,039 that she and I were somehow connected. 242 00:08:58,122 --> 00:08:59,874 You know there's no place in this company 243 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,542 for gossip, Carey. 244 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:02,793 Absolutely, sir. 245 00:09:02,877 --> 00:09:05,212 Then there's, uh, no truth 246 00:09:05,296 --> 00:09:06,297 to that rumor, is there, Mr. Bell? 247 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:09,050 [Mr. Bell] Do I pry into your business, hmm? 248 00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:11,969 Do I ever ask why you keep those catalogues 249 00:09:12,053 --> 00:09:14,096 in the middle drawer of the left-hand side of your desk? 250 00:09:16,474 --> 00:09:17,391 You know, Mr. Bell, 251 00:09:17,475 --> 00:09:19,018 I'll be happy to rehire Suzie, sir. 252 00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:20,061 [Mr. Bell] No, no, no. 253 00:09:20,144 --> 00:09:22,146 I don't want to make a big, public spectacle. 254 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,356 I'm sure you did the right thing. 255 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:25,858 I knew you'd feel that way, sir, 256 00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:28,376 so I guess it's okay to fire your nephew in housewares? 257 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,047 [chuckling] 258 00:09:30,071 --> 00:09:33,491 [Mr. Bell] I don't think that would be a good idea, Carey. 259 00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:34,825 No, sir, just making a little joke. 260 00:09:34,909 --> 00:09:37,536 Had to see my face for that one. 261 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:40,498 [Mr. Bell] Eh, while I've got you, 262 00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:43,626 your friend Kate has a wonderful idea for cosmetics. 263 00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:46,212 I think we should all sit down and talk about it. 264 00:09:46,295 --> 00:09:47,379 Great. When do you want us in? 265 00:09:47,463 --> 00:09:49,089 [Mr. Bell] Why don't we do something different? 266 00:09:49,263 --> 00:09:51,634 Say, where do you people go for drinks? 267 00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:53,749 Drinks, well, uh, you know, the Warsaw, but I-- 268 00:09:53,809 --> 00:09:55,304 [Mr. Bell] Warsaw sounds fine. 269 00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:57,765 I'll call Kate. If that little go-getter 270 00:09:57,848 --> 00:10:00,476 can tear herself away from the cosmetics counter. 271 00:10:02,065 --> 00:10:06,440 How's 7:30? Oh, and Carey... this Warsaw bar, 272 00:10:06,524 --> 00:10:09,026 is it the one near the motel 6? 273 00:10:11,362 --> 00:10:13,697 Um, uh... 274 00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:16,200 Uh-huh. 275 00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:21,205 [Mr. Bell] Do you know if they rent rooms by the hour? 276 00:10:25,209 --> 00:10:27,253 Uh-huh. 277 00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:30,965 [stammering] 278 00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:32,007 Why do you ask? 279 00:10:32,091 --> 00:10:33,884 [Mr. Bell] No reason. 280 00:10:33,968 --> 00:10:35,386 [dial tone] 281 00:10:38,161 --> 00:10:40,161 [instrumental music] 282 00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:41,976 Excuse me. 283 00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:43,477 Hey, how are ya? 284 00:10:43,561 --> 00:10:44,478 Hey, nice costume. 285 00:10:44,562 --> 00:10:46,397 Oh, I'm sorry. 286 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,483 I think I stepped on your, tendril. 287 00:10:49,567 --> 00:10:51,193 You might want to have that looked at. 288 00:10:51,277 --> 00:10:53,070 [knock on door] 289 00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:56,407 Permission to enter. 290 00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:57,658 Granted. 291 00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,326 Whoosh. 292 00:10:59,410 --> 00:11:00,911 Whoosh. 293 00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:04,874 Lewis, is there any more beer? 294 00:11:04,957 --> 00:11:06,917 Yeah, in the basement, babe. 295 00:11:07,241 --> 00:11:10,241 [indistinct chatter] 296 00:11:12,256 --> 00:11:14,884 [clears throat] Excuse me, I hope you don't mind me saying 297 00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:17,094 that you've got your phaser set on "Stunning." 298 00:11:19,180 --> 00:11:20,931 First sci-fi party, huh? 299 00:11:21,015 --> 00:11:23,893 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were here with... 300 00:11:23,976 --> 00:11:25,895 something. 301 00:11:25,978 --> 00:11:27,104 [knock on door] 302 00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:32,067 Hey, Drew. Are you, uh, ready to go? 303 00:11:32,151 --> 00:11:33,861 Yeah, but you're not going dressed like that, are ya? 304 00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:34,904 Dressed like this? 305 00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:36,405 Have you looked around the room? 306 00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:37,990 Hey, I'm trying to protect you here. 307 00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,909 If Bell hits on you and you turn him down, 308 00:11:39,992 --> 00:11:41,118 he's gonna make me fire you. 309 00:11:41,202 --> 00:11:42,703 Drew, I can take care of myself. 310 00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:43,746 I'm a big girl. 311 00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:44,997 Besides, if he was going to hit on me, 312 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,332 why would he invite you along? 313 00:11:46,415 --> 00:11:48,417 Three words, Mr. Bell sandwich. 314 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,877 [scoffs] Drew! 315 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,212 Here's a news flash for you. 316 00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:53,214 Mr. Bell may be more interested in you 317 00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:54,215 than in your ideas. 318 00:11:54,298 --> 00:11:55,841 Oh, come on! 319 00:11:55,925 --> 00:11:58,844 Kate, I want to tell you something about men 320 00:11:58,928 --> 00:12:00,554 that only your best friend would tell you. 321 00:12:00,638 --> 00:12:02,223 Guys will listen to anything 322 00:12:02,306 --> 00:12:03,933 if they think it'll help 'em score. 323 00:12:04,016 --> 00:12:05,392 Right. I mean, guys will pretend 324 00:12:05,476 --> 00:12:07,394 to be interested in art, literature, history, 325 00:12:07,478 --> 00:12:08,780 politics, romance. 326 00:12:08,804 --> 00:12:10,105 So you mean to tell me 327 00:12:10,189 --> 00:12:12,107 that no guy has ever been interested 328 00:12:12,191 --> 00:12:14,568 in anything I've ever said? 329 00:12:14,652 --> 00:12:16,445 I'm sorry. 330 00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:21,408 This is so sad, Drew. 331 00:12:21,492 --> 00:12:22,952 You don't think I see what's going on? 332 00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:24,787 Bell loves my idea, and you're just jealous. 333 00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:25,955 Jealous, please. 334 00:12:26,038 --> 00:12:27,706 I could have Bell in a second if I wanted him. 335 00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,959 Agh. 336 00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:31,001 Let's just keep the conversation on business, 337 00:12:31,085 --> 00:12:33,003 and we'll try to get through this without a disaster. 338 00:12:33,087 --> 00:12:34,171 Fine. 339 00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,424 Whoosh. 340 00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:38,425 Whoosh. 341 00:12:38,509 --> 00:12:39,593 Oswald, I thought you had a date. 342 00:12:39,677 --> 00:12:41,679 Aw, she canceled, and so did their DJ, 343 00:12:41,762 --> 00:12:43,138 so I thought i'd pick up a few bucks 344 00:12:43,222 --> 00:12:45,474 spinning records for the freaks. 345 00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:46,475 Nice costume. 346 00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:48,978 Who cares? It cost me 75 cents. 347 00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:51,355 Great. Then you'll just about break even on the gig. 348 00:12:52,690 --> 00:12:53,899 Sorry you guys can't stay for the party. 349 00:12:53,983 --> 00:12:55,150 Yeah, well maybe I'll find a rip 350 00:12:55,234 --> 00:12:57,319 in the space-time continuum and I'll be right back. 351 00:12:57,403 --> 00:12:58,988 Yeah. 352 00:12:59,071 --> 00:13:01,198 Oh, look! Here I come now. 353 00:13:03,078 --> 00:13:05,078 [instrumental music] 354 00:13:07,538 --> 00:13:08,455 It's not too late. 355 00:13:08,539 --> 00:13:09,498 I'll give you my pants. 356 00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:11,000 Oh, would you stop it? 357 00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:12,960 You're like a slightly less masculine version 358 00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:15,337 of my mother. 359 00:13:15,421 --> 00:13:16,201 [Mr. Bell] Over here! 360 00:13:16,225 --> 00:13:17,006 Mr. Bell! 361 00:13:17,089 --> 00:13:18,632 See you made it okay. Hope you weren't thrown off 362 00:13:18,716 --> 00:13:20,968 by that Best Western a block up. 363 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,012 Gee, I hope we didn't keep you waiting. 364 00:13:23,095 --> 00:13:24,263 [Mr. Bell] Oh, no, no. 365 00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:25,973 I had time to get a few drinks. 366 00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:28,017 A couple of beers. 367 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,811 So, day spa. Let's talk. 368 00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:31,979 [Mr. Bell] Relax, Carey. 369 00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:34,481 Let's take some time to get to know each other. 370 00:13:34,565 --> 00:13:37,860 So, Kate, tell me about yourself. 371 00:13:37,943 --> 00:13:39,028 Where'd you grow up? 372 00:13:39,111 --> 00:13:42,614 Well, I've lived in Cleveland my whole life. 373 00:13:42,698 --> 00:13:44,491 Boy, I can remember her in elementary school. 374 00:13:44,575 --> 00:13:45,993 Spa. Spa. Spa. 375 00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:47,494 [Mr. Bell] Alright. Alright. 376 00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:51,498 Let's make Drew happy and talk about this day spa. 377 00:13:51,582 --> 00:13:52,708 What's your angle, Kate? 378 00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:54,835 Well, I see it this way. 379 00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:57,588 We already have the women in there buying makeup. 380 00:13:57,671 --> 00:14:00,174 And it seems to me they would buy a lot more 381 00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:03,927 in a comfortable, more relaxing, 382 00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:05,929 therapeutic environment. 383 00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:06,930 Mr. Bell? 384 00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,849 [Mr. Bell] Keep going. I'm with you. 385 00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:10,225 [Kate whispers] Help me. 386 00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:12,186 [clears throat] 387 00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:13,187 Aah! 388 00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:14,938 Oh, I'm sorry. Was that me? 389 00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:15,939 Oh! 390 00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:17,941 I-I have to go. 391 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,526 This isn't even my dress. 392 00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:20,527 [Mr. Bell] No, no! 393 00:14:20,611 --> 00:14:22,946 Let me get a towel from the waitress. 394 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:25,949 But, um... and my grandmother died! 395 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,451 No! Not grammy! 396 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:28,911 No. The other one. 397 00:14:28,994 --> 00:14:29,953 Oh. 398 00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,497 I gotta, I've gotta go. 399 00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:32,581 I'm really sorry. 400 00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:35,125 [Mr. Bell] Aw, that's okay. I understand. 401 00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:39,963 Damn it! Did I come on too strong? 402 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:44,468 No, sir. I think that grammy just couldn't say no to gravy. 403 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,471 [Mr. Bell] You're so naive, Carey, so young. 404 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:50,474 What are you, 50? 405 00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,101 Actually, sir, I'm in my 30s. 406 00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:54,978 [Mr. Bell] Come on. That's the booze talking. 407 00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:56,980 Carey, you gotta, you gotta talk to Kate. 408 00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:59,608 Tell her what a good guy I am. 409 00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,902 You're her friend. She'll believe you. 410 00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:02,945 Make her go out with me, 411 00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:05,155 or I-I don't know what I'll do. 412 00:15:06,198 --> 00:15:07,449 To tell you the truth, sir, 413 00:15:07,533 --> 00:15:09,618 I'm not all that comfortable mixing my personal life 414 00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:10,744 with my business life. 415 00:15:10,828 --> 00:15:12,871 [Mr. Bell] You know, I was actually doing pretty well 416 00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:15,124 mixing my personal life with my business life. 417 00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:17,000 But then, the woman I was seeing 418 00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:19,336 was fired by, uh, some idiot. 419 00:15:19,420 --> 00:15:21,422 You follow me, Carey? 420 00:15:21,505 --> 00:15:23,424 Yes, sir, and I'll update the idiot later. 421 00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:26,927 [humming] 422 00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,429 [Mr. Bell] Come on, sing with me, Carey. 423 00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:31,557 I don't know the words to that one, sir. 424 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,101 [Mr. Bell] Oh, you know the words. Come on. Sing! 425 00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:37,438 [both singing] ♪ One is the loneliest number ♪ 426 00:15:37,521 --> 00:15:39,940 ♪ That you'll ever do ♪ 427 00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:43,652 ♪ Two can be as sad as one ♪ 428 00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:46,822 ♪ It's the loneliest number since the number one ♪ 429 00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:48,699 ♪ Ooh ♪ 430 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,416 Oh, my God. 431 00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:58,840 [thud] 432 00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:02,004 What happened? 433 00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:04,298 Drew, I can explain. Some people came-- 434 00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:06,675 wh-what's this? 435 00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:08,177 It's an ear. 436 00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:12,556 There's ears everywhere! 437 00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:14,808 Let me guess. 438 00:16:14,892 --> 00:16:16,685 Did the Ferengis invade Klingon airspace 439 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,228 and start an interplanetary war? 440 00:16:18,312 --> 00:16:22,107 No, we ran out of beer and the freaks went wild. 441 00:16:22,191 --> 00:16:23,442 I tried to stop 'em, buddy. 442 00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:24,985 Look, I'm really sorry about the house. 443 00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:26,778 Hey, he put up a good fight though. 444 00:16:26,862 --> 00:16:28,280 Hey, I gave one guy three black eyes. 445 00:16:29,448 --> 00:16:30,407 That's it. 446 00:16:30,491 --> 00:16:31,909 No more of your weird parties at my place. 447 00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:33,076 And somebody go chop up that pod 448 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,495 with the black glasses in the backyard. 449 00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:35,746 It's giving me the creeps. 450 00:16:36,872 --> 00:16:38,081 Drew, what happened with you and Bell? 451 00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:39,333 What took you so long? 452 00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:41,793 There's an awful lot of songs about loneliness, Kate. 453 00:16:41,877 --> 00:16:45,005 Boy, did he want to hit on you. 454 00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,465 You put me in this position. If he still had his girlfriend, 455 00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:47,925 he wouldn't be going after me. 456 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,844 Oh, yeah? Well, if frogs could fly... 457 00:16:50,928 --> 00:16:51,970 well, we'd still have this problem, 458 00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:53,430 but wouldn't it be cool? 459 00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:57,309 Look, we're both in trouble here. 460 00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:59,478 If we don't do something, we're both gonna get fired. 461 00:16:59,561 --> 00:17:01,271 [scoffs] This sucks. 462 00:17:01,355 --> 00:17:03,690 You know, for once, I thought I was being taken seriously, 463 00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:05,943 and it ends up being the same old crap. 464 00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:07,486 You shouldn't have to sleep with someone 465 00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:09,696 just to get them to listen to your ideas. 466 00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:11,323 I've done that. And you know what? 467 00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:15,202 It only works, like, I don't know, 50% of the time. 468 00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:16,453 Well, I think it stinks. 469 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,080 And I think anybody who does that is a creep. 470 00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:19,081 You know what bell wanted me to do? 471 00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:20,082 Hmm? 472 00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:21,708 He wanted me to get you to date him. 473 00:17:21,792 --> 00:17:24,127 Which would be totally out of the question, right? 474 00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:26,713 Yeah, I know. 475 00:17:26,797 --> 00:17:27,965 How dare he? 476 00:17:29,708 --> 00:17:31,695 [instrumental music] 477 00:17:36,265 --> 00:17:37,599 Gosh, Mimi. 478 00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:39,142 It's not like you to destroy food. 479 00:17:41,687 --> 00:17:43,605 I don't know what you did to upset Mr. Bell, 480 00:17:43,689 --> 00:17:44,940 but he told me to tell you 481 00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:46,400 that until you supply him with 482 00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:47,609 what he requested the other night, 483 00:17:47,693 --> 00:17:50,737 he wants you to go through all the employee evaluations 484 00:17:50,821 --> 00:17:51,989 and check for punctuation. 485 00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:53,574 Oh, man. 486 00:17:53,657 --> 00:17:55,158 Most of these people don't even work here anymore. 487 00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:56,159 Work here anymore? 488 00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:57,369 Most of 'em are dead. 489 00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:58,870 [chuckles] 490 00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:01,290 Oh, on a personal note, Drew, 491 00:18:01,373 --> 00:18:03,584 I realize you're going through a difficult time here, 492 00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:06,920 and I just want to let you know that you are alone! 493 00:18:07,004 --> 00:18:09,006 [chuckling] 494 00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:18,056 Sorry I'm late, but... I got stuck behind the amish. 495 00:18:19,391 --> 00:18:20,976 We've all been there. 496 00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:22,603 Boy, am I glad to see you, Suzie! 497 00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:23,645 Please, have a seat. 498 00:18:23,729 --> 00:18:25,772 So, I guess you discovered the truth 499 00:18:25,856 --> 00:18:28,275 about all those incidents you were blaming on me. 500 00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:29,943 Oh, the truth is such a gray area. 501 00:18:30,027 --> 00:18:32,154 The fact is, we just missed your bright face 502 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,322 walking in here at, oh, 503 00:18:33,405 --> 00:18:35,198 whatever time you felt like it in the morning, 504 00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:38,660 so, how'd you like to come back to Winfred-Louder? 505 00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:41,788 Can I be employee of the month? 506 00:18:41,872 --> 00:18:44,249 Well, actually that's voted on by all the-- 507 00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:46,293 Oh, sure. Okay. 508 00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:48,337 Can I get a handicapped parking spot? 509 00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:50,797 Well, okay. How much can 510 00:18:50,881 --> 00:18:52,591 Mrs. Henderson's oxygen tank weigh anyway? 511 00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:53,842 Let her dog carry it. 512 00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:56,053 Welcome back! And uh, 513 00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:57,054 you might wanna go see Mr. Bell right now 514 00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,096 to let him know you're here. 515 00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,473 Hey, everybody! 516 00:18:59,556 --> 00:19:01,642 There goes the handicapped employee of the month! 517 00:19:04,895 --> 00:19:05,812 I've got great news. 518 00:19:05,896 --> 00:19:07,314 So do I. 519 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:08,899 - Well, let me go first. - No, let me-- 520 00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:11,026 well, pick a number between one and ten. 521 00:19:11,109 --> 00:19:12,110 Ugh. Six. 522 00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:13,987 Damn. I gotta get a new number. 523 00:19:14,071 --> 00:19:15,781 - I just talked to Mr. Bell. - What? 524 00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:18,492 You should have seen me. I was on fire! 525 00:19:18,575 --> 00:19:19,576 I went in there and I told him 526 00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:21,161 that I would be happy to work hard for him, 527 00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:22,829 but if he was looking for anything more than that, 528 00:19:22,913 --> 00:19:23,997 he'll have to look elsewhere. 529 00:19:24,081 --> 00:19:26,083 How brave of you. 530 00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:27,376 Where you gonna work next? 531 00:19:27,459 --> 00:19:28,960 At the day spa! 532 00:19:29,044 --> 00:19:30,504 He went for your idea? 533 00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:32,506 That's right! I told him to look me in the eye, 534 00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:33,840 and he still wanted to look at my chest, 535 00:19:33,924 --> 00:19:35,926 so I met him halfway and I pitched it 536 00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,844 with him looking somewhere around my neck. 537 00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:41,682 I am really proud of you, Kate. 538 00:19:41,765 --> 00:19:44,017 One day, Mr. Bell's gonna look you right in the chin 539 00:19:44,101 --> 00:19:45,936 and say, "Welcome to Management." 540 00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:48,563 [telephone ringing] 541 00:19:48,647 --> 00:19:50,190 Yes, Mr. Bell? 542 00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:51,483 [Mr. Bell] Ah, I'm glad I caught you, Carey. 543 00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:52,484 Oh, hi, Gerry! 544 00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,528 [Mr. Bell] Kate, you're there! Good. 545 00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:57,155 I've found just the person to run the day spa. 546 00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:59,324 Suzie Clark. 547 00:19:59,408 --> 00:20:01,535 Suzie? But she was fired. 548 00:20:01,618 --> 00:20:05,455 [Mr. Bell] Carey just hired her back. Good thinking, Carey. 549 00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:07,958 Uh... thank you, sir. 550 00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:08,875 But what about me? 551 00:20:08,959 --> 00:20:10,168 [Mr. Bell] Hey, don't worry. 552 00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:11,795 We'll get you a free day of beauty. 553 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,880 Uh, not that you need one. 554 00:20:15,132 --> 00:20:17,217 Hey, Carey, you work out all the details. 555 00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:18,802 And by the way, 556 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:22,222 I had a hell of a time the other night. 557 00:20:22,305 --> 00:20:23,682 Why end it there? 558 00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:24,683 Did you know that tonight is 559 00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:26,393 karaoke night at the Warsaw? 560 00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:28,270 Actually, every Monday night 561 00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:31,523 is karaoke night at the Warsaw. 562 00:20:31,606 --> 00:20:32,524 [Mr. Bell] Wonderful. 563 00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,693 Meet you at 7:30 then, Carey, 564 00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:36,278 and keep your mondays open. 565 00:20:36,361 --> 00:20:38,321 [dial tone] 566 00:20:42,701 --> 00:20:44,578 You know, if Mr. Bell was still after you, 567 00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:46,037 and you just found out that I re-hired Suzie, 568 00:20:46,121 --> 00:20:48,457 you would love me so much right now. 569 00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:49,541 But I do love you. 570 00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:52,210 And I appreciate what you tried to do. 571 00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:53,920 And now... 572 00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:05,265 You know, if you think I didn't like that, 573 00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:06,767 you're wrong! 574 00:21:07,696 --> 00:21:09,696 [instrumental music] 575 00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:16,526 ♪ Oh ♪ 576 00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:18,236 ♪ I like to go swimming with bowlegged women ♪ 577 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,322 ♪ And swim between their legs. Hey! ♪ 578 00:21:20,405 --> 00:21:22,324 ♪ Swim between their legs. Hey! ♪ 579 00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:23,950 ♪ Swim between their legs. Hey! ♪ 580 00:21:24,034 --> 00:21:25,535 ♪ I like to go swimming with bowlegged women ♪ 581 00:21:25,619 --> 00:21:27,454 ♪ And swim between their legs. Hey! ♪ 582 00:21:27,537 --> 00:21:30,332 ♪ Swim between their legs ♪ 583 00:21:30,415 --> 00:21:31,374 [Mr. Bell] Ha ha! 584 00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:34,961 ♪ Oh ♪ 585 00:21:35,045 --> 00:21:36,129 ♪ I ♪ 586 00:21:36,213 --> 00:21:37,631 ♪ Like to go swimming with bowlegged women ♪ 587 00:21:37,714 --> 00:21:39,800 ♪ And swim between their legs. Hey! ♪ 588 00:21:39,883 --> 00:21:41,468 ♪ Swim between their legs. Hey! ♪ 589 00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:43,386 ♪ Swim between their legs. Hey! ♪ 590 00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:45,388 ♪ I like to go swimming with bowlegged women ♪ 591 00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:47,390 ♪ And swim between their legs. Hey! ♪ 592 00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:49,976 ♪ Swim between their legs ♪ 39663

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