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[theme music]
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00:00:08,556 --> 00:00:09,731
- ? I'm goin' down
to South Park ?
3
00:00:09,775 --> 00:00:11,690
? Gonna have myself a time
4
00:00:11,733 --> 00:00:13,169
- ? Friendly faces
everywhere ?
5
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:15,084
? Humble folks
without temptation ?
6
00:00:15,171 --> 00:00:16,303
- ? I'm goin' down
to South Park ?
7
00:00:16,390 --> 00:00:18,174
? Gonna leave my woes behind ?
8
00:00:18,218 --> 00:00:19,959
- ? Ample parking day
or night ?
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00:00:20,089 --> 00:00:21,743
? People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor" ?
10
00:00:21,874 --> 00:00:22,962
- ? I'm headin' on down
to South Park ?
11
00:00:23,092 --> 00:00:25,094
? Gonna see
if I can't unwind ?
12
00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:28,359
- ? [mumbling] ?
13
00:00:28,402 --> 00:00:29,577
- ? Come on down
to South Park ?
14
00:00:29,621 --> 00:00:31,405
? And meet some friends
of mine ?
15
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:37,803
[school bell rings]
16
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,445
- Hey, fellas! Fellas!
17
00:00:39,576 --> 00:00:42,057
You wanna know what time
I woke up this morning?
18
00:00:42,187 --> 00:00:44,146
- What time?
- Around six-seven!
19
00:00:44,233 --> 00:00:46,496
all: Six-seven!
20
00:00:46,583 --> 00:00:48,019
- Oh, hey, Annie. Ladies.
21
00:00:48,150 --> 00:00:50,369
Did you guys do your homework
last night?
22
00:00:50,456 --> 00:00:53,982
I tried to, but I got stuck on
problems six and seven!
23
00:00:54,025 --> 00:00:55,592
all: Six-seven!
24
00:00:55,636 --> 00:00:56,811
- [Butters laughs]
25
00:00:56,941 --> 00:00:58,247
Hey, Eric!
26
00:00:58,290 --> 00:00:59,857
- I know, Butters. I know.
Don't do it to me.
27
00:00:59,901 --> 00:01:01,685
It's too funny.
- But I just did a six-seven
28
00:01:01,816 --> 00:01:03,861
with Annie and Megan
at the same time!
29
00:01:03,905 --> 00:01:05,471
- Yeah, five minutes ago
I snuck up on Wendy
30
00:01:05,602 --> 00:01:06,864
and totally six-seven'd
her from behind.
31
00:01:06,995 --> 00:01:08,213
- Wow!
- Hey, Scott.
32
00:01:08,257 --> 00:01:09,475
How's your diabetes, man?
33
00:01:09,606 --> 00:01:13,088
- My diabetes?
- Yeah, what's your A1C at?
34
00:01:13,175 --> 00:01:14,611
- 6.7.
35
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:17,309
all: Six-seven!
36
00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:18,615
- [laughs] Oh, my God.
37
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So fucking funny.
38
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[indistinct chatter]
39
00:01:23,707 --> 00:01:25,448
- All right, everyone,
listen up.
40
00:01:25,491 --> 00:01:28,277
I've gotten a lot of reports
of disruptions in the classroom
41
00:01:28,407 --> 00:01:31,280
and some satanic numerology
shit going on.
42
00:01:31,410 --> 00:01:34,283
So I want to remind you this is
a Power Christian school,
43
00:01:34,413 --> 00:01:35,806
and I am
a Power Christian Principal,
44
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and we will be PC!
45
00:01:37,547 --> 00:01:39,549
So now I want you to hear
from someone
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00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,508
who is the highest authority
on Biblical prophecies.
47
00:01:42,639 --> 00:01:45,337
This person is an absolute
expert on the end of days
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00:01:45,468 --> 00:01:47,209
and the coming
of the Antichrist.
49
00:01:47,296 --> 00:01:49,994
Please welcome Mr. Pete Thiel.
50
00:01:50,081 --> 00:01:52,256
[upbeat music playing]
51
00:01:52,301 --> 00:01:55,304
- ? Peter Thiel
knows about the Antichrist ?
52
00:01:55,434 --> 00:01:58,350
? Peter Thiel knows about
the Antichrist ?
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00:01:58,394 --> 00:02:03,573
- ? I'm Peter Thiel and I know
about the Antichrist ?
54
00:02:03,704 --> 00:02:05,053
SINGERS: ? Let's learn about
the Antichrist today ?
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- ? Today
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00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:07,881
Hello, kids, I'm Peter Thiel,
and I'm here to talk to you
57
00:02:07,925 --> 00:02:09,623
about the Antichrist!
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00:02:11,059 --> 00:02:12,364
[one person clapping]
59
00:02:12,495 --> 00:02:14,758
OK, so first,
what is the Antichrist?
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00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,717
The Antichrist is a newer,
more human form of Satan
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that will soon walk the Earth.
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00:02:18,153 --> 00:02:19,589
We don't know how soon
it will walk the Earth,
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00:02:19,719 --> 00:02:21,678
but it could be within
the next six to seven weeks.
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KIDS: Six-seven!
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00:02:25,421 --> 00:02:27,249
- Uh, kay.
66
00:02:27,336 --> 00:02:29,164
Uh, you see,
Satan was a fallen angel
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and God punished him,
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00:02:30,905 --> 00:02:33,342
and to make sure that Satan
could never have offspring,
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00:02:33,472 --> 00:02:36,388
the Lord God did shrink
Satan's asshole
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00:02:36,519 --> 00:02:39,478
to the size
of a tiny, little pinhole
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so nothing could ever penetrate
and ejaculate inside of it.
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00:02:43,265 --> 00:02:45,832
So Satan could never
have a butt baby until
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00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:48,139
along came Mr. Donald Trunp,
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00:02:48,270 --> 00:02:51,316
whose penis is so teeny,
teeny tiny
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00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:54,145
it could actually fit
in Satan's asshole.
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00:02:54,276 --> 00:02:56,017
How small is
Donald Trump's penis?
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Somewhere between six and seven
centimeters.
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KIDS: Six-seven!
79
00:03:02,327 --> 00:03:04,416
- Hey, look, this is very
important, people.
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00:03:04,547 --> 00:03:06,157
OK, the Antichrist is coming.
81
00:03:06,244 --> 00:03:09,813
The Bible refers to the eagle,
which refers to America,
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00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,772
the fourth seal broken,
and hell coming to Earth.
83
00:03:11,815 --> 00:03:15,776
It's right here
in Revelations 6...
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00:03:15,906 --> 00:03:17,255
six-seven.
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KIDS: Six-seven!
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00:03:19,910 --> 00:03:22,043
- [laughing]
87
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- Good, and breathe in
through your nose. [inhales]
88
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,438
[exhales]
And out through your mouth.
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00:03:26,525 --> 00:03:28,223
In--two, three four.
90
00:03:28,353 --> 00:03:30,225
And exhale--two, three, four.
91
00:03:30,355 --> 00:03:31,921
Good.
Let your shoulders soften.
92
00:03:31,966 --> 00:03:33,750
Let your jaw relax.
93
00:03:33,837 --> 00:03:36,361
Now gentle pressure on the hips
as your partner exhales.
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00:03:36,492 --> 00:03:37,493
Good.
95
00:03:37,536 --> 00:03:40,017
- This is so boring!
96
00:03:40,147 --> 00:03:42,193
- How about you shut up
and do your job?
97
00:03:42,324 --> 00:03:44,195
- Ah, come on, Satan!
98
00:03:44,239 --> 00:03:45,588
How about we just go home
and fuck?
99
00:03:45,631 --> 00:03:47,459
We haven't had sex in forever.
100
00:03:47,590 --> 00:03:49,766
- That's because it's bad
for the baby.
101
00:03:49,853 --> 00:03:51,986
- Yeah, but fuck the baby.
This is stupid!
102
00:03:52,116 --> 00:03:53,770
- Did you just say
"fuck the baby"?
103
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,207
- Hey, relax, guy.
104
00:03:56,338 --> 00:03:58,166
I didn't mean like
really fuck the baby!
105
00:03:58,209 --> 00:03:59,907
- No, you know what?
You can just go home.
106
00:03:59,994 --> 00:04:01,256
I'll finish this myself.
107
00:04:01,386 --> 00:04:03,214
You can go home
and jack off if you want.
108
00:04:03,345 --> 00:04:05,390
INSTRUCTOR: [exhales]
Perfect.
109
00:04:12,789 --> 00:04:15,923
[belt clinking, zipper opens]
110
00:04:24,235 --> 00:04:25,367
[door opens]
111
00:04:25,410 --> 00:04:26,498
- Hello, boss!
112
00:04:26,585 --> 00:04:28,152
- Ah! Shit!
113
00:04:28,239 --> 00:04:29,458
- Good news, boss,
114
00:04:29,501 --> 00:04:32,243
we just shut down
another abortion clinic.
115
00:04:32,287 --> 00:04:34,202
- Oh, yeah, great.
That's great.
116
00:04:34,245 --> 00:04:35,464
- Yes, boss.
117
00:04:35,594 --> 00:04:38,162
You've made all the Christians
so happy.
118
00:04:38,249 --> 00:04:41,862
Of course, there is still
one more clinic
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00:04:41,905 --> 00:04:43,820
that will still perform
abortions
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00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,735
right here in town.
121
00:04:45,822 --> 00:04:46,780
[dramatic musical sting]
122
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- There is?
- Oh, yes.
123
00:04:48,477 --> 00:04:50,653
How unfortunate
that some babies
124
00:04:50,784 --> 00:04:53,612
will not be able to be born.
125
00:04:53,698 --> 00:04:56,964
As Christians, we can't allow
this to continue.
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00:04:57,051 --> 00:04:59,270
Perhaps you should go speak
127
00:04:59,401 --> 00:05:02,012
with this abortion doctor
personally.
128
00:05:02,056 --> 00:05:04,623
- Yeah. Yeah!
129
00:05:07,278 --> 00:05:08,802
[knock on door]
- Come on.
130
00:05:11,282 --> 00:05:12,893
- PC Principal,
do you have a minute?
131
00:05:13,023 --> 00:05:14,416
- Sure, Jesus.
What do you need?
132
00:05:14,503 --> 00:05:17,288
- I'm starting to wonder
if I really fit in here.
133
00:05:17,419 --> 00:05:18,942
- Course you fit in.
134
00:05:19,073 --> 00:05:20,944
This school's been a cesspool
of heathen left-wing
135
00:05:21,075 --> 00:05:24,034
little bitches, and only our
faith is gonna set them right.
136
00:05:24,078 --> 00:05:26,471
- Could I ask exactly
137
00:05:26,515 --> 00:05:29,518
what branch of Christianity
are you?
138
00:05:29,648 --> 00:05:30,736
- The kind that
loves his country
139
00:05:30,867 --> 00:05:32,738
and doesn't tolerate
any fucking fags.
140
00:05:32,869 --> 00:05:36,133
- Yeah, see, I-I really think
I don't belong here.
141
00:05:36,177 --> 00:05:38,048
- Look, I understand
it's a tough transition.
142
00:05:38,092 --> 00:05:39,702
You know,
the vice principal here
143
00:05:39,745 --> 00:05:41,878
had the same conflict as you,
but she's really come around.
144
00:05:41,965 --> 00:05:43,880
- The vice principal?
Your wife?
145
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,273
- That's right.
146
00:05:45,316 --> 00:05:47,188
Can you send in Strong
Christian Woman, please?
147
00:05:47,231 --> 00:05:49,581
She was saying this wasn't
the place for her anymore,
148
00:05:49,712 --> 00:05:51,845
but just this last weekend,
she converted to Christianity.
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00:05:51,888 --> 00:05:53,716
[knocks]
150
00:05:53,847 --> 00:05:55,413
- You wanted to see me?
151
00:05:55,544 --> 00:05:57,111
- Yeah, Strong Christian Woman,
I was just telling Jesus
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00:05:57,154 --> 00:05:58,155
here about our faith.
153
00:05:58,286 --> 00:06:01,115
- Oh, yes, it's been
such a blessing.
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00:06:01,202 --> 00:06:03,465
- She converted on Saturday.
What do you think, huh?
155
00:06:03,595 --> 00:06:05,467
You ever seen a more Christian
chick in your fucking life?
156
00:06:05,597 --> 00:06:07,034
- Never.
157
00:06:07,164 --> 00:06:08,600
- Look,
I know it's a hard adjustment,
158
00:06:08,731 --> 00:06:09,950
but just stick with it,
159
00:06:09,993 --> 00:06:12,082
and you're gonna fit in here
just fine, Jesus.
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00:06:15,259 --> 00:06:18,045
- [soft muttering]
161
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[snickers]
162
00:06:24,355 --> 00:06:27,010
[giggles]
163
00:06:27,141 --> 00:06:28,838
- Everything go good at school
today, honey?
164
00:06:28,969 --> 00:06:31,275
- [stifling laughter]
Yep, yep. School was good.
165
00:06:31,362 --> 00:06:34,713
School was pretty good.
[snickering]
166
00:06:34,799 --> 00:06:36,193
- Is everything OK, honey?
167
00:06:36,323 --> 00:06:37,325
- Yeah. Everything's fine.
168
00:06:37,368 --> 00:06:38,761
It's fine.
169
00:06:38,804 --> 00:06:40,981
Mom? Uh, could I--
could I ask you something?
170
00:06:41,111 --> 00:06:42,069
- Sure, Eric.
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00:06:42,156 --> 00:06:43,505
- Do you know, um--
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00:06:43,592 --> 00:06:45,072
do you know on average,
173
00:06:45,202 --> 00:06:47,422
um, at what age kids
lose their baby teeth?
174
00:06:47,552 --> 00:06:49,076
- Oh, I'm not sure, Eric.
175
00:06:49,206 --> 00:06:51,295
I guess usually around
six, seven?
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00:06:51,382 --> 00:06:55,343
- [laughing]
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00:06:55,473 --> 00:06:56,518
OK.
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00:06:56,605 --> 00:06:57,736
- Eric, what?
179
00:06:57,823 --> 00:06:58,999
- No, nothing. Nothing.
I'm sorry.
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00:06:59,129 --> 00:07:00,435
[clears throat]
I'm sorry.
181
00:07:00,565 --> 00:07:02,872
I was just, uh--
I was just, um--
182
00:07:03,003 --> 00:07:05,396
I was just thinking about
your menstrual cycle.
183
00:07:05,527 --> 00:07:07,181
- My menstrual cycle?
184
00:07:07,311 --> 00:07:09,052
- Yeah, I was just wondering
185
00:07:09,183 --> 00:07:11,794
when you actual menstruate,
Mom.
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00:07:11,837 --> 00:07:14,840
Like, roughly, how many days
does that last?
187
00:07:14,971 --> 00:07:16,146
- Well, Eric,
it's usually around
188
00:07:16,190 --> 00:07:17,539
six to seven days
that a woman--
189
00:07:17,582 --> 00:07:22,587
- [laughing]
190
00:07:22,718 --> 00:07:24,763
Oh. Oh. [choking]
191
00:07:24,894 --> 00:07:27,244
[laughing, choking]
192
00:07:27,375 --> 00:07:29,943
[retching]
193
00:07:29,986 --> 00:07:34,424
[retching continues]
194
00:07:34,469 --> 00:07:36,601
- Eric? Sweetie?
195
00:07:36,732 --> 00:07:39,778
- [coughs, pants]
196
00:07:39,865 --> 00:07:42,694
- Eric, what is going on?
This keeps happening.
197
00:07:42,825 --> 00:07:45,697
- Mom, Mom,
you gotta tell me something.
198
00:07:45,784 --> 00:07:47,047
- Of course, honey.
199
00:07:47,090 --> 00:07:49,223
- Roughly how many nights--
[gags]
200
00:07:49,266 --> 00:07:50,572
have I been throwing up
at dinner?
201
00:07:50,659 --> 00:07:52,269
- I-I don't know, Eric.
202
00:07:52,313 --> 00:07:53,618
It's probably been
six or seven nights--
203
00:07:53,749 --> 00:07:55,577
- [laughing]
204
00:07:55,707 --> 00:07:59,102
[vomiting]
205
00:08:05,456 --> 00:08:06,501
[knock on door]
206
00:08:06,631 --> 00:08:08,111
- Hey, Jesus,
get your stuff, man.
207
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,895
We're going out for drinks.
- What?
208
00:08:09,939 --> 00:08:11,027
- Look,
I know it's been hard for you
209
00:08:11,114 --> 00:08:12,420
trying to adjust here
and everything,
210
00:08:12,463 --> 00:08:13,725
so the wife and I were talking
211
00:08:13,856 --> 00:08:14,988
and we found
a nice Christian lady
212
00:08:15,031 --> 00:08:16,032
we're gonna set you up with.
213
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:19,122
- Oh, I don't think so.
Thanks, but--
214
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,819
- Oh, come on, man.
She's a really great woman,
215
00:08:20,906 --> 00:08:22,865
and she just converted
to Christianity.
216
00:08:22,908 --> 00:08:27,174
My wife met her at the same
place that she became Christian.
217
00:08:27,304 --> 00:08:28,958
WOMAN: So then I was like,
"You know what?
218
00:08:29,089 --> 00:08:30,872
I need a new direction
in my life.
219
00:08:30,915 --> 00:08:33,396
It's like I just got so sick of
everyone being such a pussy
220
00:08:33,484 --> 00:08:35,443
all the time,
and all this woke garbage
221
00:08:35,486 --> 00:08:37,184
and women trying to be men.
222
00:08:37,314 --> 00:08:39,054
So I just started reading
the Bible, you know?
223
00:08:39,141 --> 00:08:40,665
I mean, I didn't actually
read the Bible,
224
00:08:40,708 --> 00:08:42,363
but I listened to
a lot of podcasts.
225
00:08:42,406 --> 00:08:44,060
And once I went through
my transition, I was like,
226
00:08:44,104 --> 00:08:45,627
"This is great,"
227
00:08:45,714 --> 00:08:48,630
only now, guys are always
checking out my Christianity.
228
00:08:48,717 --> 00:08:50,197
- Sorry,
could you all excuse me?
229
00:08:50,284 --> 00:08:51,763
I need to go to the bathroom.
230
00:08:51,850 --> 00:08:53,417
- Sure thing, Jesus.
231
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:57,987
- He seems nice.
232
00:09:05,299 --> 00:09:06,778
- [sighs]
233
00:09:12,871 --> 00:09:15,657
[light music playing]
234
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,959
- Miss Davidson?
235
00:09:24,090 --> 00:09:28,529
Miss Coco Slutty Davidson?
236
00:09:28,660 --> 00:09:30,096
- Oh, yeah, that's me!
237
00:09:30,183 --> 00:09:32,011
I'm Coco Slutty Davidson.
238
00:09:32,141 --> 00:09:33,316
I'm just here
to get an abortion.
239
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,796
[chuckles]
240
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:40,236
- The doctor's right in here...
ma'am.
241
00:09:40,323 --> 00:09:42,674
- Hey, doc!
242
00:09:48,157 --> 00:09:49,594
All right, listen,
243
00:09:49,637 --> 00:09:51,552
I need you to perform an
abortion, but it's not for me.
244
00:09:51,683 --> 00:09:52,988
It's for my partner.
245
00:09:53,032 --> 00:09:54,207
And you can't tell anyone,
246
00:09:54,337 --> 00:09:56,209
not even my partner.
247
00:09:56,339 --> 00:09:57,819
- How am I supposed to do that?
248
00:09:57,950 --> 00:09:59,212
- Well, you're gonna come
with me, see,
249
00:09:59,342 --> 00:10:00,866
and we're gonna sneak
into my house,
250
00:10:00,909 --> 00:10:03,912
and you're gonna suck that thing
out while everyone's asleep.
251
00:10:04,043 --> 00:10:06,219
- You house wouldn't happen
to be white, would it?
252
00:10:06,262 --> 00:10:07,481
- Hey! How do you know that?
253
00:10:07,612 --> 00:10:09,657
- Look, Mr. President,
I've seen the news.
254
00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:12,268
If you got Satan pregnant,
that's your responsibility.
255
00:10:12,399 --> 00:10:14,227
- Well, it's your
responsibility now!
256
00:10:14,270 --> 00:10:16,011
Or else I'll sue you,
how about that?
257
00:10:16,055 --> 00:10:18,013
- Even if I wanted
to help you, sir,
258
00:10:18,144 --> 00:10:19,798
I have no idea
how to perform an abortion
259
00:10:19,928 --> 00:10:21,495
on the offspring of Satan.
260
00:10:21,626 --> 00:10:24,759
To do that, you'd need some kind
of expert on the Antichrist.
261
00:10:24,803 --> 00:10:27,719
[upbeat music]
262
00:10:27,849 --> 00:10:30,591
SINGERS: ? Peter Thiel knows
about the Antichrist ?
263
00:10:30,678 --> 00:10:33,855
? Peter Thiel knows
about the Antichrist ?
264
00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:38,773
- ? I'm Peter Thiel and I know
about the Antichrist ?
265
00:10:38,817 --> 00:10:41,210
?
266
00:10:41,254 --> 00:10:42,603
All right, listen,
267
00:10:42,690 --> 00:10:44,692
you people have a very serious
problem here.
268
00:10:44,736 --> 00:10:47,042
Your students appear to be in
some kind of cult
269
00:10:47,086 --> 00:10:48,783
involving the numbers six
and seven.
270
00:10:48,827 --> 00:10:50,611
- All right,
so what should we do?
271
00:10:50,698 --> 00:10:53,483
- I'm going to need access to
all your school's private data--
272
00:10:53,614 --> 00:10:55,747
school records, health records,
and of course,
273
00:10:55,834 --> 00:10:57,270
all security cameras.
274
00:10:57,313 --> 00:10:59,838
- Oh, no, look,
I don't think we need it--
275
00:10:59,968 --> 00:11:01,970
- Is this really
what we've come to?
276
00:11:02,057 --> 00:11:04,103
Freely handing people's
personal data over
277
00:11:04,146 --> 00:11:06,453
to some tech billionaire
preaching shit about the Bible?
278
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,414
- You got a problem with Jesus,
bro?
279
00:11:11,501 --> 00:11:14,504
- Come on, man, you became a
Christian like three months ago.
280
00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:16,245
- Yeah,
I've got fucking faith, dude!
281
00:11:16,289 --> 00:11:17,856
What do you have,
you little bitch?
282
00:11:17,899 --> 00:11:19,074
You wanna throw down, bro?
283
00:11:19,118 --> 00:11:20,728
- OK, hey, hey, hey--
284
00:11:20,772 --> 00:11:21,860
- You wanna see what it feels
like to talk shit
285
00:11:21,903 --> 00:11:23,165
about Christians, dude?
286
00:11:23,209 --> 00:11:24,732
[grunting]
287
00:11:24,776 --> 00:11:26,081
- I'll kick your heathen ass,
bro!
288
00:11:26,125 --> 00:11:32,479
[mechanical droning]
289
00:11:32,610 --> 00:11:34,916
[loud whirring]
290
00:11:35,047 --> 00:11:39,312
[thrumming]
291
00:11:39,355 --> 00:11:41,140
- All right, just try
to be still, Eric.
292
00:11:41,270 --> 00:11:43,098
- Doctor,
could I ask a question?
293
00:11:43,229 --> 00:11:44,491
- Of course.
294
00:11:44,534 --> 00:11:46,449
- About how long--
[stifled laughter]
295
00:11:46,536 --> 00:11:48,016
do you need me to be still?
296
00:11:48,103 --> 00:11:49,888
- Just about ten seconds, Eric.
297
00:11:49,931 --> 00:11:50,845
- OK.
298
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:54,719
So how long now?
299
00:11:54,762 --> 00:11:56,242
- Just another six, seven
seconds, Eric--
300
00:11:56,285 --> 00:11:58,244
- [laughter]
301
00:11:58,374 --> 00:12:01,595
[vomiting]
302
00:12:03,249 --> 00:12:05,120
[steady beeping]
303
00:12:05,207 --> 00:12:06,948
- I'm sorry, Mrs. Cartman,
but we can't pinpoint
304
00:12:07,079 --> 00:12:08,602
the source of his illness.
305
00:12:08,689 --> 00:12:10,517
- [snorting]
306
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:13,128
- If he continues to vomit
this much daily,
307
00:12:13,259 --> 00:12:15,174
I'm afraid it could be
life threatening.
308
00:12:15,304 --> 00:12:16,958
- But, doctor,
309
00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:19,787
if I'm not able
to keep any food down,
310
00:12:19,831 --> 00:12:22,790
roughly how long would it take--
[stifled laughter]
311
00:12:22,921 --> 00:12:25,706
roughly how long would it take
for the human body to die?
312
00:12:25,793 --> 00:12:27,926
- Eric, I'm gonna be very honest
with you.
313
00:12:28,056 --> 00:12:29,754
Without sufficient nutrients,
314
00:12:29,797 --> 00:12:31,669
the body shuts down
after six to seven weeks.
315
00:12:31,712 --> 00:12:35,281
- [laughing]
316
00:12:35,368 --> 00:12:37,283
[vomit splatting]
317
00:12:37,370 --> 00:12:40,373
[keyboard clacking]
318
00:12:40,416 --> 00:12:42,592
- Excuse me, that's my computer.
319
00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:45,117
- Yes. And your computer
has all the personal data
320
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,945
of the students here.
- It's OK, Jesus,
321
00:12:47,075 --> 00:12:48,424
Peter Thiel knows
what he's doing.
322
00:12:48,555 --> 00:12:50,426
- I've downloaded all
the students' information
323
00:12:50,557 --> 00:12:53,168
and loaded them into an
AI face detection program
324
00:12:53,255 --> 00:12:55,562
so the school's security cameras
can watch their every move.
325
00:12:55,693 --> 00:12:57,433
Now look.
326
00:12:57,564 --> 00:12:59,435
Two students passing each other
in the hallway.
327
00:12:59,566 --> 00:13:02,525
They give each other the sign--
six, seven.
328
00:13:02,569 --> 00:13:04,832
Exactly 67 seconds later,
329
00:13:04,963 --> 00:13:08,096
this odd parka-wearing child
makes the same gesture.
330
00:13:08,183 --> 00:13:10,620
And then
inside the girls bathroom,
331
00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:13,014
two girls doing the same thing.
332
00:13:13,058 --> 00:13:16,452
- Wait, why is there a camera
inside the girls bathroom?
333
00:13:16,583 --> 00:13:18,977
- To stop the Antichrist.
334
00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:21,109
Now I'm following the lead
on this girl here.
335
00:13:21,196 --> 00:13:24,417
She went home
to 67 Mala Vista Drive.
336
00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:26,245
Going through her family's
medical records,
337
00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:28,987
I found that her father has
testicular cancer
338
00:13:29,030 --> 00:13:32,904
and 67 days ago,
had one testicle removed.
339
00:13:33,034 --> 00:13:35,428
- That really feels like
none of our business.
340
00:13:35,558 --> 00:13:37,082
- I don't know how
I'm supposed to work
341
00:13:37,125 --> 00:13:39,432
with Nosy Nancy peering over
my shoulder all the time.
342
00:13:39,562 --> 00:13:40,999
- Jesus, let's you and me
have a quick chin wiggle
343
00:13:41,129 --> 00:13:42,304
out in the hall.
344
00:13:45,177 --> 00:13:46,091
[door shuts]
345
00:13:49,572 --> 00:13:50,530
[sinister music]
346
00:13:50,573 --> 00:13:52,227
- I'm getting close.
347
00:13:52,314 --> 00:13:55,274
I almost have the key
to stop it from happening.
348
00:13:55,404 --> 00:13:57,058
? ?
349
00:13:57,102 --> 00:13:59,452
- We are running out of time,
Mr. Thiel.
350
00:13:59,495 --> 00:14:01,889
The Antichrist is coming.
351
00:14:01,933 --> 00:14:06,198
Satan is shopping for
baby strollers as we speak.
352
00:14:06,241 --> 00:14:09,114
- If I'm going to learn
what these numbers mean,
353
00:14:09,244 --> 00:14:12,247
I'm going to need access to
every government database.
354
00:14:12,378 --> 00:14:14,728
- You will have it, Mr. Thiel.
355
00:14:14,859 --> 00:14:17,426
Nothing is more important
than making sure
356
00:14:17,470 --> 00:14:20,821
this baby is not born.
357
00:14:20,865 --> 00:14:23,041
?
358
00:14:23,084 --> 00:14:26,740
[soft sentimental music]
359
00:14:26,871 --> 00:14:29,395
- Look, man, I know it's tough,
360
00:14:29,482 --> 00:14:31,440
but you gotta understand
that drastic times
361
00:14:31,484 --> 00:14:33,921
call for drastic measures.
362
00:14:33,965 --> 00:14:37,620
- I just don't feel good about
treating people this way.
363
00:14:37,707 --> 00:14:40,406
I think the most important thing
still has to be loving
364
00:14:40,493 --> 00:14:42,060
and respecting each other.
365
00:14:42,103 --> 00:14:44,497
?
366
00:14:44,540 --> 00:14:46,064
- All right, man,
I need to ask you something
367
00:14:46,107 --> 00:14:48,196
and I need you
to tell me the truth.
368
00:14:48,283 --> 00:14:50,329
Are you a fag?
369
00:14:50,459 --> 00:14:51,983
- No. That has nothing to do
with it. It just--
370
00:14:52,070 --> 00:14:53,680
- Are you fucking sure?
371
00:14:53,723 --> 00:14:56,378
- I'm just trying to say that
I'm really confused right now.
372
00:14:56,422 --> 00:14:58,076
- OK, but confused like you
don't know if you're attracted
373
00:14:58,119 --> 00:14:59,729
to dudes, or like what?
374
00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:03,908
- Like how we can just change
everything about who we are.
375
00:15:03,951 --> 00:15:05,474
- I think you still
just don't understand
376
00:15:05,518 --> 00:15:08,086
what Christians today
are about.
377
00:15:08,173 --> 00:15:13,004
Come on. There's someone I think
you should talk to.
378
00:15:13,091 --> 00:15:14,527
WOMAN:
Oh, yes, the Antichrist!
379
00:15:14,657 --> 00:15:17,356
I've listened to a lot
of podcasts about that.
380
00:15:17,399 --> 00:15:19,749
Everyone keeps saying
how the Antichrist is coming,
381
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,316
but I'm like "He already did!
382
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,971
I was married to him in 2018!"
383
00:15:24,015 --> 00:15:25,930
But seriously, if he saw
how Christian I was now,
384
00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:27,845
he'd probably shit his pants.
385
00:15:27,888 --> 00:15:29,585
[snorts]
Don't be jealous.
386
00:15:29,672 --> 00:15:31,370
He's so funny.
387
00:15:35,243 --> 00:15:38,116
[militaristic music]
388
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,428
- Hey.
389
00:15:42,559 --> 00:15:44,561
Hey, Satan.
390
00:15:55,484 --> 00:15:57,530
- Hello, boss.
- Ah! Fuck! Shit!
391
00:15:57,617 --> 00:15:59,271
- Oh, sorry, boss.
392
00:15:59,314 --> 00:16:01,447
I did not know
Satan was sleeping.
393
00:16:01,490 --> 00:16:03,405
- Yeah, that's all he ever does
anymore.
394
00:16:03,449 --> 00:16:05,146
- Poor boss.
395
00:16:05,277 --> 00:16:07,758
If you're going to jack off,
shall I fetch your cum rag?
396
00:16:07,845 --> 00:16:09,542
- Hey! I wasn't jacking off!
397
00:16:09,629 --> 00:16:10,587
- Sure thing, boss.
398
00:16:10,630 --> 00:16:12,414
I'll go get your cum rag.
399
00:16:14,068 --> 00:16:16,331
[sinister music]
400
00:16:16,462 --> 00:16:18,464
[buttons dialing]
401
00:16:18,595 --> 00:16:21,293
What is taking you so long?
402
00:16:21,336 --> 00:16:23,295
- I'm very close to finding
the secret of the numbers.
403
00:16:23,338 --> 00:16:25,253
I've narrowed it down
to one little boy
404
00:16:25,297 --> 00:16:27,081
who seems more possessed
than the others.
405
00:16:27,125 --> 00:16:28,561
- Then deal with him,
406
00:16:28,648 --> 00:16:30,694
and keep it quiet.
407
00:16:30,737 --> 00:16:33,305
Nobody can know
that we are working together.
408
00:16:33,435 --> 00:16:35,133
When I become president,
409
00:16:35,176 --> 00:16:38,876
I will give you full access
to everyone's data.
410
00:16:39,006 --> 00:16:41,139
- I've already spoken
with the mother,
411
00:16:41,269 --> 00:16:44,664
and I'm on my way now
to face the child.
412
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:47,667
[eerie piano music]
413
00:16:47,711 --> 00:16:53,630
?
414
00:16:55,936 --> 00:16:59,157
SINGERS: ? Peter Thiel knows
about the Antichrist ?
415
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:02,203
? Peter Thiel knows
about the Antichrist ?
416
00:17:02,247 --> 00:17:07,555
- ? I'm Peter Thiel and I know
about the Antichrist ?
417
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,428
SINGERS: ? Let's deal with
the Antichrist today ?
418
00:17:09,470 --> 00:17:11,169
- ? Today
419
00:17:11,299 --> 00:17:12,910
Is your son home?
420
00:17:12,953 --> 00:17:15,129
- Yes, Mr. Thiel.
421
00:17:15,172 --> 00:17:18,611
He's right upstairs.
422
00:17:18,698 --> 00:17:21,396
- [muttering, chuckling]
423
00:17:27,185 --> 00:17:31,363
[coughing, sniffing]
424
00:17:31,493 --> 00:17:35,715
[stifling laughter]
425
00:17:35,759 --> 00:17:38,979
- Eric, I'm Peter Thiel.
426
00:17:39,110 --> 00:17:41,329
I'm here to help our country.
427
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:42,940
- Uh, OK.
428
00:17:42,983 --> 00:17:46,073
- I came to see you...
429
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,772
in an Uber, Eric.
430
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:52,427
- [stifling laughter]
431
00:17:52,558 --> 00:17:55,517
- Would you like to know how
long it took me to get here?
432
00:17:57,128 --> 00:17:58,912
- How long?
433
00:17:58,956 --> 00:18:01,001
- It took...
434
00:18:01,045 --> 00:18:02,481
around six or seven minutes.
I'm not really--
435
00:18:02,524 --> 00:18:04,526
- [vomiting]
436
00:18:04,657 --> 00:18:06,746
[laughing]
437
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,748
No way! No way!
438
00:18:08,792 --> 00:18:11,229
[laughing]
439
00:18:11,272 --> 00:18:13,884
- You know, they're all just
a bunch of libtards anyways.
440
00:18:14,014 --> 00:18:16,147
I know what's up.
I listen to podcasts.
441
00:18:16,190 --> 00:18:18,149
You wanna know who I think
the Antichrist is?
442
00:18:18,192 --> 00:18:19,672
Greta Thunberg.
443
00:18:19,803 --> 00:18:21,848
With her stupid haircut
and her dumb bangs.
444
00:18:21,979 --> 00:18:24,155
Someone should yank out
whatever's up her ass.
445
00:18:24,285 --> 00:18:25,983
[snorts]
446
00:18:26,113 --> 00:18:27,158
- I can't.
447
00:18:27,201 --> 00:18:29,290
I just can't!
448
00:18:36,123 --> 00:18:37,777
- Everything all right, bud?
449
00:18:37,864 --> 00:18:39,257
- No, everything's
not all right!
450
00:18:39,387 --> 00:18:41,215
I don't know what
I'm doing here!
451
00:18:41,346 --> 00:18:43,870
- You're trying to get with
the program, bro!
452
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:45,742
Peggy Rockbottom is
a hot Christian girl,
453
00:18:45,785 --> 00:18:47,656
now stop acting gay!
454
00:18:47,787 --> 00:18:50,224
- Look, I don't know what
you think Christianity is,
455
00:18:50,268 --> 00:18:52,792
but it has nothing to do
with that.
456
00:18:52,836 --> 00:18:54,315
- What are you saying?
457
00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:56,448
- I'm saying that you
and a lot of other people
458
00:18:56,578 --> 00:18:59,407
seem to have a very warped sense
of what Christianity is.
459
00:18:59,451 --> 00:19:01,061
- Are you questioning my faith?
460
00:19:01,192 --> 00:19:02,976
You wanna fucking go?
461
00:19:03,020 --> 00:19:05,283
- No, I don't want
to fucking go.
462
00:19:05,326 --> 00:19:07,764
- You got a problem, bro?
- No, I don't have a problem.
463
00:19:07,807 --> 00:19:09,635
You actually have a problem.
464
00:19:09,678 --> 00:19:11,158
You need a way to bully people
465
00:19:11,245 --> 00:19:12,812
and you're using the Bible
to do it.
466
00:19:12,856 --> 00:19:14,858
[grunts]
467
00:19:14,901 --> 00:19:18,122
PC PRINCIPAL: You like that?
Yeah! You want some more?
468
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,909
- I'm not gonna fight you!
469
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,390
- Damn right you won't, 'cause
you're a gay little pussy!
470
00:19:27,392 --> 00:19:28,915
Yeah, don't come back!
471
00:19:29,046 --> 00:19:31,309
You're gonna get some more,
bitch!
472
00:19:31,439 --> 00:19:32,963
[Cartman coughing]
473
00:19:33,050 --> 00:19:34,965
PETER: Tell me what it means!
474
00:19:35,052 --> 00:19:37,663
- [laughing, coughing]
475
00:19:37,706 --> 00:19:39,491
- The Lord labored six days
476
00:19:39,534 --> 00:19:41,058
and on the seventh, He rested!
477
00:19:41,188 --> 00:19:43,756
- [laughing]
478
00:19:43,887 --> 00:19:46,628
- You will tell me
the significance!
479
00:19:48,717 --> 00:19:51,285
There's nothing more
I can do here.
480
00:19:51,416 --> 00:19:54,245
I have to take him
to Washington D.C.
481
00:19:54,288 --> 00:19:57,683
- Washington?
Oh, no, he can't travel now.
482
00:19:57,814 --> 00:19:59,511
He's very sick.
483
00:19:59,554 --> 00:20:03,515
- Your son is the key to saving
our country, Ms. Cartman.
484
00:20:03,645 --> 00:20:06,518
Everything we hold dear
could end.
485
00:20:06,561 --> 00:20:08,912
We have to unlock the secrets
he holds,
486
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:12,306
no matter what it takes.
487
00:20:12,437 --> 00:20:15,222
["Sister Christian"
by Night Ranger]
488
00:20:15,309 --> 00:20:18,878
? ?
489
00:20:18,965 --> 00:20:24,144
- ? Sister Christian,
oh, the time has come ?
490
00:20:24,275 --> 00:20:28,453
? And you know
that you're the only one ?
491
00:20:28,540 --> 00:20:32,587
? To say "OK" ?
492
00:20:32,674 --> 00:20:35,112
? ?
493
00:20:35,242 --> 00:20:40,378
? Where you going?
What you looking for? ?
494
00:20:40,421 --> 00:20:44,686
? You know those boys don't
wanna play no more ?
495
00:20:44,817 --> 00:20:47,124
? With you ?
496
00:20:47,167 --> 00:20:49,691
? It's true
497
00:20:49,822 --> 00:20:52,956
? ?
498
00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:55,915
[driving beat]
499
00:20:56,046 --> 00:21:01,268
? ?
500
00:21:01,355 --> 00:21:04,054
? You're motorin' ?
501
00:21:04,141 --> 00:21:09,363
? What's your price
for flight? ?
502
00:21:09,407 --> 00:21:14,716
? In finding Mr. Right
503
00:21:14,803 --> 00:21:18,329
? You'll be all right tonight ?
504
00:21:18,372 --> 00:21:21,723
?
505
00:21:21,854 --> 00:21:23,377
- Fuck yeah, Jesus!
506
00:21:23,421 --> 00:21:25,379
- ? You're motorin'
507
00:21:25,423 --> 00:21:30,602
? What's your price
for flight? ?
508
00:21:30,732 --> 00:21:32,996
? In finding Mr. Right? ?
509
00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:34,867
- Let's fucking go, bro!
510
00:21:34,954 --> 00:21:39,350
- Yes, baby! Yes!
511
00:21:39,393 --> 00:21:42,222
- ? Tonight
512
00:21:45,747 --> 00:21:48,576
[theme music]
513
00:21:48,707 --> 00:21:55,583
? ?
514
00:21:55,633 --> 00:22:00,183
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