subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for South Park S27E04 Wok is Dead 2160p PMTP WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 265-STC

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,369 --> 00:00:14,550 I'm going down south, I'm gonna have myself time. 2 00:00:15,070 --> 00:00:18,190 Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation. 3 00:00:18,590 --> 00:00:21,330 I'm going down south, I'm gonna leave my world to hide. 4 00:00:21,610 --> 00:00:25,670 And we're parking day or night, people spouting hot and diverse. And on the 5 00:00:25,670 --> 00:00:27,950 south, I'm gonna see if I can't unwind. 6 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,480 Come on down south out there and meet some friends of mine. 7 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:43,800 Betsy! Betsy! 8 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:44,839 Guess what? 9 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,700 My dad took me to the Asian pop -up store. Look what I got! 10 00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:49,720 Serenity Labubu! 11 00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:51,460 Oh, it's so cute! 12 00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:54,120 Isn't it? I was at the Asian pop -up, too! 13 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,800 Oh, dude, dude, check it out. It's about to happen again. 14 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:07,160 Ah, shit. 15 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:11,540 I actually have loyalty labubu already, and I got a little costume for it. That 16 00:01:11,540 --> 00:01:12,980 is seriously so cute. 17 00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:16,660 Kenny, you guys, girls with labubus. It's about to happen again. 18 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:21,940 Oh, labubu. Come on. And then, believe it or not, I actually have chestnut 19 00:01:21,940 --> 00:01:28,760 labubu. No way. That is the rarest one. Isn't it so cute? So stinking cute. But 20 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:31,780 it's really rare. Are you sure it's not a knockoff? Oh, dog, here we go. 21 00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:33,060 Yeah, it's just... 22 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:35,600 Probably yours, you fat bitch. 23 00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:13,090 Yay, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. 24 00:02:13,370 --> 00:02:15,590 Tell her to stop saying my labubus are knockoffs. 25 00:02:16,550 --> 00:02:19,030 I'm sorry, what is a labubu? 26 00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:20,710 It's a little monster accessory. 27 00:02:21,130 --> 00:02:23,670 They come in blind boxes, so you never know which one you're going to get. 28 00:02:23,930 --> 00:02:27,770 Like you could just luck out and get a time to chill pajama gold labubu. Oh my 29 00:02:27,770 --> 00:02:28,790 God, that one is so cute. 30 00:02:29,050 --> 00:02:30,410 It's so cute, right? 31 00:02:31,130 --> 00:02:35,230 All right, ladies, why don't you just give me the dolls until the end of the 32 00:02:35,230 --> 00:02:36,230 school day? 33 00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:40,250 Go on out to recess and you can pick up your labubus after school. 34 00:02:40,690 --> 00:02:42,950 Wow, what kind of counseling was that? 35 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:47,170 I don't know. Jesus sucks, dude. Our old counselor was so much better. 36 00:02:59,450 --> 00:03:00,790 Yeah, yeah, yeah, get some more over there. 37 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:02,250 This side's starting to fall. 38 00:03:02,490 --> 00:03:03,970 We are the kings of the castle. 39 00:03:04,210 --> 00:03:05,210 Let us in. 40 00:03:05,690 --> 00:03:06,690 Hey, butters. 41 00:03:07,370 --> 00:03:08,630 Oh, well, uh, hey, Red. 42 00:03:10,170 --> 00:03:13,890 Um, I was just wondering what you're doing this weekend. 43 00:03:17,930 --> 00:03:18,930 Who, me? 44 00:03:19,190 --> 00:03:23,550 Yeah. Um, I'm having a birthday party at my house, and I was seeing if maybe 45 00:03:23,550 --> 00:03:25,650 you'd want to come hang out? 46 00:03:28,670 --> 00:03:29,810 You're talking about me. 47 00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:33,750 Yeah, I don't know. It's probably stupid. I shouldn't have asked. Never 48 00:03:34,050 --> 00:03:36,810 No, no, no, I'd love to come hang out with you on your birthday, Red. 49 00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:38,099 Really? You would? 50 00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:39,100 Well, sure. 51 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,440 Okay, that's great. I'll text you all the details. 52 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,440 Okay, Red. I'll see you then. 53 00:03:43,820 --> 00:03:47,960 Okay. And maybe I'll text you my birthday wish list, too, in case, you 54 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:48,960 want to get me a present. 55 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,000 Starting! 56 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:55,180 Oh, my God, you guys. 57 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:56,940 Red wants to hang out with me. 58 00:03:57,540 --> 00:03:58,540 That's incredible. 59 00:03:59,060 --> 00:04:01,000 Bro, it seems like she really likes you. 60 00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:05,300 Really excited to see you Saturday. 61 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,160 Whoa. Me in red. 62 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:09,720 Lucky. 63 00:04:10,260 --> 00:04:12,460 Here is my birthday gift wish list. 64 00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:17,640 This exact boo -boo -boo. 65 00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:22,980 Holy shit, you guys. You know what I think? 66 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:29,000 I think on Saturday I'm going to find out if red -haired girls have a red 67 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:30,480 Wow. 68 00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:45,140 Welcome to Shitty Asian Pop -Up Store. Can I take an autograph? 69 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,960 Wait, didn't this place used to be Shitty Walk? 70 00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:51,240 Yeah, but our whole country changed. 71 00:04:51,660 --> 00:04:52,660 Didn't you hear the news? 72 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:53,880 Walk is dead. 73 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,280 It's Shitty Pop -Up now. What do you like to have? 74 00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:00,580 We got a Shitty Pop -Up keychain, Shitty cell phone charm, Shitty anime 75 00:05:00,580 --> 00:05:03,520 sculpture. Well, actually, I'm looking for a labubu. 76 00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:05,840 Oh, yeah, I would love a labubu. 77 00:05:06,380 --> 00:05:09,680 They're very hard to keep in stock. Very expensive because of tariffs. 78 00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:11,520 You know, it's really important. 79 00:05:11,820 --> 00:05:15,240 I got this new girlfriend, and she wants this specific Labubu for her birthday. 80 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:19,700 Oh, that very rare Labubu. You only find that in a mystery box. 81 00:05:20,300 --> 00:05:21,300 Mystery box? 82 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,760 Hi, are you guys still serving food? 83 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:25,580 No, no, no. Walkie's dead. Haven't you heard the news? 84 00:05:27,380 --> 00:05:31,320 Can't I just buy this Labubu? No, that's not the way it works. You buy mystery 85 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:34,120 box. You open it. Hopefully, you get the one you want. 86 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,000 Okay, how much is a mystery box? 87 00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:37,580 Eighty -five dollars. 88 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:39,040 Eighty -five? 89 00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:43,180 Yeah, you gotta pay tariff. You think I pay tariff? No, no, no, no, you pay 90 00:05:43,180 --> 00:05:45,400 tariff. Okay, I'll take one. 91 00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:53,100 Yeah, 92 00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:02,720 well, walkie's dead, you stupid beast. Stop nagging me. 93 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:04,879 Dang it. 94 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:05,980 This is the wrong one. 95 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:09,740 Oh, yeah. That's just happiness, though, boo -boo. Very common. Very common. 96 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:10,979 You try again. 97 00:06:10,980 --> 00:06:15,860 $85. I have to pay another $85, and I still might not get the one I want? Hey, 98 00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:20,020 it's not me. It's your government. I don't get fucked by tariffs. You get 99 00:06:20,020 --> 00:06:22,520 by tariffs. In China, we call that hot potato. 100 00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:26,140 You're watching Fox News. 101 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:31,800 The president has just returned from his historic tariff summit overseas. 102 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:36,560 There's the president now looking handsome as ever. Oh, and there's the 103 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,520 of Darkness, who's been traveling with the president as of late. 104 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:43,380 The president has made his way off of Air Force One and will now speak to a 105 00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:44,660 diverse crowd of reporters. 106 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:46,120 Over here, Mr. President. 107 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:48,880 Mr. President, how did the tariff meetings go? 108 00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:50,580 Ah, they went great, buddy. 109 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,860 Mr. President, we're all dying to know something. 110 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:59,220 Your wife, Melania, has been staying in New York and away from the White House. 111 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:00,399 That's right. 112 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:05,140 Well, what Fox News really wants to know is, are you fucking Satan? 113 00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:11,580 No, I'm not fucking Satan. We're just sort of hanging out. 114 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:15,580 Oh, come on, President Trump. With everything you've been doing, pretty 115 00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:17,580 whole country thinks you're fucking Satan now. 116 00:07:17,860 --> 00:07:19,460 I'm not fucking Satan. 117 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:20,740 Can we go, please? 118 00:07:24,650 --> 00:07:29,210 He is fucking Satan. That guy's definitely fucking Satan. What a stud. 119 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:30,770 Yeah, Fox News. 120 00:07:32,490 --> 00:07:35,470 All right, everyone, listen up. As you know, there's a lot being done in the 121 00:07:35,470 --> 00:07:38,710 country to bring Christian values back to our schools. Our new school counselor 122 00:07:38,710 --> 00:07:41,210 has some concerns that I understand he'd like to voice. Go ahead, Jesus. 123 00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:48,690 Well, I'm just a bit confused about the dramatic rise in fist fighting over 124 00:07:48,690 --> 00:07:49,710 these labubus. 125 00:07:50,190 --> 00:07:53,810 Oh, yeah, the labubus. Kids go nuts for them. 126 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:57,380 I just don't quite understand what the fascination is. 127 00:07:57,660 --> 00:07:59,700 Well, they're just the new fad of the month, you know. 128 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:02,260 They make them scarce and hard to find a secret one. 129 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,160 Yeah, and then all the kids make their LaBooBoo TikToks. 130 00:08:05,780 --> 00:08:06,780 LaBooBoo TikTok? 131 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:10,140 Yeah, the kids make them and they watch them. I can pull one up. This is Kelly 132 00:08:10,140 --> 00:08:11,480 Bronson from Mrs. Turner's class. 133 00:08:12,540 --> 00:08:14,900 Hey, guys. This is another LaBooBoo unboxing video. 134 00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:18,760 I got this LaBooBoo online. I'm pretty sure it's not a LaFooFoo. I got the QR 135 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:19,759 code right here. 136 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,620 We're going to see what we got. Hope it's a rare one. If it is, I'm 137 00:08:22,620 --> 00:08:23,660 going to freak out. 138 00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:25,700 Okay, let's see, let's see, let's see. 139 00:08:28,660 --> 00:08:31,620 Oh, my God! 140 00:08:31,940 --> 00:08:32,940 Oh, my God! 141 00:08:33,539 --> 00:08:35,480 Okay, okay, let's start the ritual. 142 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:56,840 What the hell was that? 143 00:08:57,220 --> 00:08:59,240 That's a Labubu unboxing TikTok. 144 00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:01,020 Kids go nuts for him. 145 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,100 But that's like some dark satanic ritual. 146 00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:06,180 Oh, yeah, Labubus are demonic. 147 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:07,480 Yeah, dark magic. 148 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,200 I don't know if they come that way from China or their kids are infusing them 149 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,600 with some Sumerian dark entity. 150 00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:12,980 It's Mesopotamian. 151 00:09:13,180 --> 00:09:15,100 Got it. So what are your major concerns, Jesus? 152 00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:21,620 Bro, that's not normal. These kids are in trouble. 153 00:09:22,220 --> 00:09:24,420 Yeah, that's why every school needs a counselor. 154 00:09:37,980 --> 00:09:40,120 Welcome to City Pop -Up. Take a hot break. 155 00:09:40,420 --> 00:09:44,720 I have $88 .42 in here. I need to buy another mystery box. 156 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:46,099 Oh, sorry. 157 00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:47,820 La Boo Boo Mystery Box, $120. 158 00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:50,060 What? It was $85. 159 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:53,940 Yeah, yeah, Taft went up. You never know with Taft. They make low stands. 160 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:55,400 But that's not fair. 161 00:09:55,820 --> 00:09:57,340 No shit, Taft, not fair. 162 00:09:57,700 --> 00:10:01,460 Please, sir. My girlfriend's party is today. And I have to get the La Boo Boo 163 00:10:01,460 --> 00:10:02,159 she wants. 164 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,920 Please. It's okay. It's okay. I have idea. 165 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,400 You want mystery box for cheap price? 166 00:10:07,820 --> 00:10:09,320 You use crime machine. 167 00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:13,840 You try your luck. Use a crime machine. You get a mystery box. Open it up. 168 00:10:13,860 --> 00:10:15,440 Hopefully you get the boo -boo you want. 169 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:27,840 Oh, you're so cross. 170 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:29,120 Try again. 171 00:10:29,220 --> 00:10:30,220 Oh, jeez. 172 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:36,660 Oh, here we go. 173 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,700 I get screwed by Tab, so I have to screw the children. 174 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,200 What do you not understand? 175 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:45,960 Yeah, 176 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,140 well, walk not coming back, bitch. Go walk, go block. 177 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:54,440 Thank you for coming, Mrs. Paxton, Mrs. Gray. 178 00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:58,780 The reason I called you in today is because your girls were in a major 179 00:10:58,780 --> 00:11:00,280 altercation over their labubus. 180 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:02,480 Okay, so what are you going to do about it? 181 00:11:03,359 --> 00:11:07,380 Well, I was hoping we could work together to maybe just keep them away 182 00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:11,260 lububus. Oh, sure. Just take their lububus away. Great counseling. 183 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:15,800 Look, I have reason to believe that the students are using lububus for some kind 184 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,200 of ritual. 185 00:11:17,740 --> 00:11:21,040 Yeah, but to do that, you have to have a super rare one. They're the only ones 186 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:22,300 girls can use in dark rituals. 187 00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,400 You know that they're demonic? 188 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:29,040 Yeah. What are we supposed to do? My daughter sees Kelly Miller summoning 189 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:32,180 demonic forces on TikTok, then she wants to be like Kelly Miller. 190 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,100 Did Kelly Miller summon demonic forces? 191 00:11:35,340 --> 00:11:36,680 I don't know. She hung herself. 192 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,540 Well, we should probably keep the girls off of TikTok. 193 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,620 Oh, yeah. Just keep them off TikTok. 194 00:11:41,940 --> 00:11:43,480 That's some clever counseling there. 195 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:44,759 Do you have kids? 196 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:45,760 No, I don't. 197 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:49,480 Figures. Well, when you do, you try and keep them off of TikTok and out of the 198 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:50,480 Asian pop -up store. 199 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:53,220 Wait. What is an Asian pop -up store? 200 00:11:53,620 --> 00:11:57,100 That's where the girls get all the little boo -boos. Where did they find 201 00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:59,120 guy? We told you he was a crappy counselor. 202 00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:03,670 This is a Fox News alert. 203 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:09,610 As debates on American tariffs continue, the question on every American's mind 204 00:12:09,610 --> 00:12:12,510 tonight, is President Trump fucking Satan? 205 00:12:12,810 --> 00:12:16,310 The president's been seen less and less with his wife and more often with his 206 00:12:16,310 --> 00:12:20,590 new pal, making people all around the world say Donald Trump has got to be 207 00:12:20,590 --> 00:12:21,890 fucking Satan for sure. 208 00:12:22,570 --> 00:12:25,930 Well, for all of us who are still skeptical that President Trump is 209 00:12:25,930 --> 00:12:30,170 Satan, Fox News has obtained some footage of President Trump seeming to be 210 00:12:30,170 --> 00:12:31,170 fucking Satan. 211 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:34,880 This was at a golf course yesterday where the president was heroically 212 00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:38,460 You can just make out Satan going behind a bush and President Trump right there. 213 00:12:38,700 --> 00:12:42,160 He's fucking Satan. Karen, what do you think? I think the president is 214 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:45,180 definitely fucking Satan, and I love it. 215 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:48,940 Of course, a lot of Americans still argue there's no way the president could 216 00:12:48,940 --> 00:12:52,960 fucking Satan. So we have a body language expert to show us just how it 217 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,920 possible. Well... If Mr. 218 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:59,120 President Trump is fucking Satan, and I'm not saying if he is or he isn't, I'm 219 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:03,100 just kind of hoping he is, he mostly likely is coming in from the back. 220 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,960 Now, Satan has a pretty large physical presence, so we're pretty sure President 221 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:11,080 Trump would have to get on top of him. Oh, my God. The president is doing 222 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,560 no other president has done before. I love him. 223 00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:17,260 You don't think President Trump is fucking Satan? This definitely proves 224 00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:18,260 could be. 225 00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:32,840 Welcome to Shitty Asian Pop -Up Store. Take out a piece. 226 00:13:33,260 --> 00:13:36,920 Are you the one that has been selling all these labubus to my students? 227 00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:38,699 Oh, boy. 228 00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:41,140 Look, not my fault these shitty prices, okay? 229 00:13:41,460 --> 00:13:42,460 Labubus very expensive. 230 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,940 Those dolls you are selling are cursed. 231 00:13:45,220 --> 00:13:46,400 Yeah, no shit they cursed. 232 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,880 It's called tariff. You pass it along. 233 00:13:49,180 --> 00:13:51,720 I curse, I put the curse on you. It's like an AIDS. 234 00:13:52,020 --> 00:13:53,440 Oh, my God. I got it. 235 00:13:53,780 --> 00:13:55,300 I got the super rare. 236 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:57,340 Hey, what the hell are you talking about? 237 00:13:57,620 --> 00:13:58,840 This is the one my girlfriend wants. 238 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:00,800 I can take it to a birthday party. 239 00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:02,900 My child, put that down. It's dangerous. 240 00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:07,240 Hey, hold on. That's super wet. That was like $600. 241 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,600 You got to pay more tariffs. 242 00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:11,980 Oh, 243 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,920 my God. We go away. 244 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,500 Listen, both of you. There are more important issues at hand. 245 00:14:18,820 --> 00:14:21,320 My child, you cannot take that to a birthday party. 246 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:24,440 Oh, shit. Where you go? 247 00:14:47,770 --> 00:14:50,150 Satan, why are you so sad? 248 00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:54,850 I wish to be gone from this place. 249 00:14:56,470 --> 00:14:57,890 I do not understand. 250 00:14:58,590 --> 00:15:02,350 If you do not want to be here, then why do you stay? 251 00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:07,070 I am forced to stay by the dark tides of destiny. 252 00:15:07,910 --> 00:15:11,870 I wanted to leave months ago, but I cannot. 253 00:15:13,090 --> 00:15:15,550 Because of what's in this box. 254 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:20,700 What's in the box? 255 00:15:21,340 --> 00:15:27,060 The secret none must know, and yet all will soon discover. 256 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:30,660 I can feel the tides of change. 257 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:34,820 The final showdown is upon us. 258 00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:04,320 Well, you'll have to wait till you open it and find out if you're... Oh, all 259 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:05,320 right then. 260 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:48,360 I'm sorry, we're closed. 261 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,220 Beth, I need to know which of the students has a birthday today. 262 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:53,220 Who is this? 263 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:54,400 It's me, Jesus. 264 00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:57,580 Who? The school counselor. 265 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,940 Oh. I don't know who has a birthday today. That was actually always the 266 00:17:01,940 --> 00:17:02,940 counselor's job. 267 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,500 Can you just look it up in the school records, please? 268 00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:07,479 Hang on. 269 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:09,280 Guess I'm doing your job, too, now. 270 00:17:11,180 --> 00:17:16,560 Okay. Okay. Oh, my God. I'm so excited to finally do it. Well, yeah, I guess. 271 00:17:16,730 --> 00:17:18,190 I'm excited to do it too, Red. 272 00:17:18,690 --> 00:17:22,210 Okay, I think we're all ready. Here, you take a video of the whole thing. 273 00:17:22,630 --> 00:17:24,190 Oh, can't we just kiss first? 274 00:17:25,109 --> 00:17:27,609 Hey, what's up, guys? This is my Tick Tock La Boo Boo video. 275 00:17:27,810 --> 00:17:30,030 I got to super rare, so let's see if it works. 276 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:37,180 Another Trump and Satan spotting. The two are rumored to be in a small 277 00:18:37,180 --> 00:18:39,800 town in the Rockies. Let's go to our Colorado affiliate. 278 00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:44,620 Yeah, guys, there's definitely black clouds and swarms of locusts here. 279 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,120 Probably another labubu party. 280 00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:50,660 You know, whenever there's a labubu party, the president and Satan usually 281 00:18:50,660 --> 00:18:51,419 an appearance. 282 00:18:51,420 --> 00:18:54,180 We've got our eye in the sky now. Guys, what are you seeing? 283 00:19:04,460 --> 00:19:05,460 Come on, let's go. 284 00:19:06,420 --> 00:19:07,420 Lucifer! 285 00:19:10,060 --> 00:19:12,680 So, it is you. 286 00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:16,920 Just what are you doing, Satan? I will know. 287 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:23,320 Okay, it looks like Jesus Christ is now on the scene for some kind of biblical 288 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:28,460 showdown. I have seen your evil at work, Satan. I bid you leave this realm at 289 00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:31,300 once. You think I don't want to leave? 290 00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:33,200 I am bound to him. 291 00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:35,380 Come to Him. 292 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:12,100 I am forced to stay in this situation for several more years. 293 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:20,560 Uh, Satan is saying he's been trapped at the White House because he's pregnant. 294 00:20:21,060 --> 00:20:25,100 Uh, let's get our science expert in here to see if that's actually possible. 295 00:20:25,780 --> 00:20:31,400 Yeah, uh, demonic pregnancies work a little different. The term is butt baby. 296 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:35,860 All right, well, that seems to be it. Satan is pregnant with the president's 297 00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:41,800 child. So Fox News can now confirm Donald Trump has been fucking Satan this 298 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:42,800 whole time. 299 00:20:43,420 --> 00:20:50,220 For all the doubters who thought Donald Trump wasn't fucking 300 00:20:50,220 --> 00:20:52,080 Satan, in your face. 301 00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:56,100 We're going to check in now with Kid Rock. Kid, you must be overcome with 302 00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:57,500 emotion. I do. 303 00:20:58,030 --> 00:21:02,230 I just honestly didn't think the president was fucking Satan, but now 304 00:21:02,230 --> 00:21:06,130 that he has been this whole time, I'm just so happy. 305 00:21:10,630 --> 00:21:13,290 Well, I hope you guys learned a valuable lesson. 306 00:21:13,930 --> 00:21:18,210 If you mess around and you aren't safe, it can have really big consequences. 307 00:21:21,390 --> 00:21:23,750 Yeah, I'm not having sex for a long time. 308 00:21:24,010 --> 00:21:26,490 And I'm done with the boobers. Well, that's good. 309 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:31,860 Because as your counselor, I'm banning the boo -boos from school and TikTok and 310 00:21:31,860 --> 00:21:32,860 cell phones. 311 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,660 Now get back to class. You both have detention for two weeks. 312 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,000 Oh, man. 313 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,080 Wow, new counselor's kind of a dick. 314 00:21:40,460 --> 00:21:42,380 Yeah, but he's better than the last guy. 315 00:21:47,020 --> 00:21:48,220 La boo -boo. 24771