All language subtitles for Haul.Out.The.Halloween.2025.720p.EBRip.x264.AAC-YTS

For those of you

who have had the pleasure
of visiting Evergreen Lane,

you know what I mean when
I say this is the most

festive street in America.

And for those of you who have
never had the chance to visit

us, fret not, because you

are about to see

a street that carries the spirit
of the holidays all year round.

- Normally, this
- cul-de-sac is the center

Of all neighborhood

activity, but today, we

all had a previous engagement.

There has never been
a more deserving bride

and groom than you and Jared.

I love you guys so much.

- Thank you for being
- my bridesmaids.

I'm so lucky.

Don't make me cry
before the vows.

Not cool, Emily.

And before I use this for

myself, I hand embroidered it.

It's something new and something

blue, so it counts as two.

This is beautiful.

I am so honored that you

borrowed my old tiara and veil.

I wore it when I was
Snow Queen at college.

I'm the one that's honored.

It's gorgeous.

You look spectacular.

Thank you.

You really do.

- Can you believe
- the Johnsons won't be here?

Hey, now.

No need to talk about they
who have left the lane.

And you didn't need to make
him a groomsman in absentia.

- Why do you care that
- he's an honorary groomsman?

You are my best man.

That's why you're here
with me on the most

important day of my life.

You, me and Bob.

Hey, we're all out
of Vienna sausages.

No, no.

The charcuterie
is for the groom.

- I was a groom once.
- It's OK.

It's OK.

I'm far too nervous to eat.

Maybe I've got

something that could help.

Homemade Bavarian mead made with
honey from my very own apiary.

The HOA handbook says

nothing about beekeeping, Ned.

Well, until it's amended,
just mind your own bees-ness

and let's have a toast.

Here's to the next chapter
of life, love and pursuit

of the holidays.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Sweetheart, it's time.

OK, Mom.

Yes, dear.

Do not call my mom dear.

Gentlemen, let's do this.

Yeah!

Everybody sit down, please.

You look beautiful.

Hey.

Hey.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered

today to celebrate the union
of these two beautiful souls.

Emily, the moment I
fell in love with you

- was captured
- on a Polaroid picture

When we were seven years
old on your front porch.

And from that day on, I've been
looking forward to this day.

As I stand in front of you
today, although my knees are

shaking a bit like

that Polaroid picture,

I've watched you develop

into this beautiful, smart, kind

woman that I get to spend
the rest of my life with.

I promise you, I will
do my best to paint

a perfect picture of love

and devotion together forever.

Jared, I always knew there
was something very special

about you.

And when we reconnected,

everyone reminded me of what

an amazing architect you are.

And they were right.

The way you have designed
your life with loyalty

for the ones you love.

And it shows me who you
really are at your core.

You make me feel
safe and supported,

and there is no
one I would rather

make plans to build the rest
of my life with than you.

Emily Melrose,
do you take Jared to be

your lawful wedded husband?

I do.

- Jared
- Farnsworth, do you take Emily

To be your lawful wedded wife?

Absolutely, without

a doubt, I do.

- Then,
- by the power vested in me,

I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

And you may now kiss the bride.

So hold onto hope, love

I've searched high
and low for you

For you

- For the first time ever,
- Mr. and Mrs. Jared Farnsworth.

Each day gets closer

So hold on stronger to me

You may be wondering why we

didn't do a Christmas wedding.

We considered it.

- But in memory
- of Jared's late father,

We chose to do it on his
parents' anniversary.

- And even though we had
- a fun-filled honeymoon planned,

- We were both excited to get back
- home and get into the spirit

Of the upcoming holidays.

The only problem was this
year, we had no idea what

kind of spirit it would bring.

[LOUIS EDWARDS & HENRY

[PARSLEY, "HALLOWEEN FUNK"]

Ghosts and ghouls

Things that creep cruel

What in the Samhain?

Silver Squad

to Green Team, are

you seeing what we're seeing?

Looks like we got a couple
bona fide frightafiles.

Gonna move in for a closer look.

Watch my 6:00.

Woo.

Double, double.

Toil and trouble.

All right, so what are we
gonna do about this, folks?

- Should I get
- the president on the line?

Let him enjoy his honeymoon.

We'll break it to him
when he gets back.

- We get it, Belinda.
- You want grandchildren.

- But I think he
- would want to know.

Don't mess this up for me.

Are you excited, my lovely?

By the pricking of my thumbs,
something wicked this way comes.

I'll take that as a yes.

You have too many ghosts,
not enough headstones.

Come on, people, get it right.

Ow.
Ah.

Ow.

Squirrel.

Jared, you really didn't have
to spring for a stretch limo.

We're just on our way
home from the airport.

Oh, but I did.

We are still on our honeymoon.

It was the best honeymoon ever.

- I enjoyed every
- second of it with you.

You know what?

- After two weeks in Scandinavia,
- I am actually really

Excited to get back home.

- I could have used one
- more week in.

I think I preferred

I wonder if you'll
feel the same way

after we celebrate
Walpurgisnacht night

this spring.

- I pre-booked the hotel
- and everything.

- I'm sorry.
- What?

- The biggest Swedish springtime
- festival that there is.

Apparently, it's
not to be missed.

Honey, I love that
you're a planner,

but vacations are
kind of something

we need to plan together now.

You're right.

You're right.

I just got too excited.

I'm used to planning
things on my own.

But now, we're married.

We make decisions together.

- Yeah.
- 'Cause you're my wife.

My husband.

Mm.

I love you.

Oh.

Oh.

We're home.

Oh, wow.

- I wonder if Pamela's
- remodel is done.

Glad she liked the design.

Oh, she was so happy with it.

You did such a good job.

- I wish I was as fulfilled
- at my job as you are.

- You're literally
- the best writer I know.

Copywriter.

I said what I said.

I mean it.

Thanks, love.

I'll get back into it.

I just wish we could stay
in fantasy land a little bit

- longer.
- Well, then you are in luck.

- Because like the medieval
- knights of old,

- I shall carry you over
- the threshold of our new castle.

Really not necessary.

It's a sign of my love
and affection for you,

a literal symbol that I would
drop everything on account

of your beck and call.

Woo!

Jared!

Jared.

Jared!

- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Here.

Here we go.

- Come here.
- Sorry.

Are you OK?
Are you sure?

I'm OK.
I'm fine.

- Here, let me help you.
- Oh, no.

- Not again.
- It's time.

No, no, no, Jared.

Let's bring it down a notch.

Remember the mantra
we've been working on.

Not my weeds.
Not my garden.

Emily, when you hold

the mantle of the presidency,

this entire neighborhood

is my garden.

Now, if you will.

Brought the clipboard

on the honeymoon?

You rang?

Uh, yes, I did ring.

I wanted to introduce

myself and ask

- you a few questions
- about your understanding

Of the HOA guidelines.

- Honey, I don't think
- that's an actual person.

- I think that's a recording.
- I think you're probably right.

Sorry.

Seriously, did you guys ring?

Hi.

Hi, I am Jared

Farnsworth, HOA president

of this lovely neighborhood.

- This is my first counselor
- and head of activities

Committee, Emily Melrose.

Farnsworth.

Emily Farnsworth.

It's my newest title.

- Jared and I got
- married last month.

Congratulations.

We've heard tale of the
presidential power couple.

I had a premonition we would
be graced by your presence.

Won't you come inside?

That would be amazing.

- It would... it would,
- except that my wife and we

- Just got back from
- our honeymoon, and we're very,

Very, very tired.

- That's nothing a little
- Jack-o-Lantern Java won't fix.

And Marvin makes
them extra strong.

- Yes, I do.
- That sounds amazing.

I'm sure it it.
I'm sure it is.

- Except that we haven't
- been deloused yet.

Deloused?

- Yes, but in the meantime,
- per your display,

As detailed as it is, we
are going to have to ask

you to, you know, pare it back.

Pare it back?

- The lights
- in the pumpkins can stay.

Great touch, actually,
but your lawn display

has to go back

into the crypt, as it were.

I don't understand.

Our realtor told us this was
the most festive neighborhood

in all of the state of Utah.

And we are.

Yes, at Christmas.

We are Evergreen Lane,
not Ever Scream Lane.

Ever Scream Lane.

- We should
- totally call it that.

Yes...

No, don't do that.

That was just a very
clever play on words

for me to emphasize my point.

Which is what exactly?

Per HOA guidelines, we...

It... it says that Section 12...

I'm pretty sure it says you
have too much Halloween.

- Well, that's not
- what Albert told us.

And it was confirmed by Gail.

Oh, so you've met my parents.

- They were the first to welcome
- us to the neighborhood.

It's so nice of you both
to let them stay with you

- for the rest
- of hurricane season,

Especially right
after the wedding.

Must be scoring some serious

son-in-law points there.

Mm-hmm.

Well, I better be.

You know what?

- Why don't you just excuse us.
- We're gonna get settled.

- And then we can discuss
- this whole in-laws

And bylaws situation.

Does that sound OK?

- Fair is foul,
- and foul is fair.

Just let us know.

Will do.

Let's go.

Turn around.

So great to meet you.

Ta-ta.

Same here.

That's a strange couple.

Indeed.

I really hope
you're not mad at me.

I'm definitely not mad, Emily.

I'm just a little
surprised, is all.

Why didn't you tell
me you invited them?

I'm so sorry.

My mom asked in the middle
of the wedding craziness,

and I just forgot.

I truly am sorry.

But they're in the guest
loft above the garage.

You're never gonna see them.

Well, don't apologize.

I love your parents.

Love hosting your parents.

It's just, you know, like you
said, it's just me and you now,

- so I just want to be
- on the same page on this stuff.

That's all.
- Absolutely.

I got your back.

And I've got yours.

- Now, let's take care of this
- decoration situation.

All right.

- Jared, what
- seems to be the problem?

Oh, I don't know, Albert.

Maybe the fact that we got back
from the wedding of our dreams

only to return to a nightmare.

It's just a few
lawn decorations.

That's how it starts.

- And the next thing you know,
- the younger generation,

They're sneaking out
of their bedrooms,

searching for the Great Pumpkin.

Let's not get crazy now.

I'm not.

It... it's just I'm hoping
we are being sensitive

to those who may

not feel comfortable

celebrating this time of year.

We have bylaws put in place
like this for a reason, right?

But that's not entirely true.

What do you mean it's not true?

The motion to de-escalate the
other holidays was proposed and

hotly debated, but in the end,

it was never voted

on and therefore, never passed.

What other lies
have I been told?

Nobody lied to you, Jared.

The council just decided

after what happened,

maybe a vote wasn't necessary.

Everyone agreed

to honor the de-escalation

of Halloween out of respect.

- But technically, there's
- no official bylaw.

- What do you mean
- after what happened?

Oh, honey, have you forgotten?

We did all of this for you.

For me?

Maybe she blocked it out.

It was the last big Halloween
we celebrated on the lane.

You mean the last
year with grandma.

Excuse me.

I'll be in the basement.

The ba...

Hey, Gram-Gram.

I'm sorry I left you down here.

I just couldn't figure out
exactly where to put you.

Your memory lives best

in my head anyway.

I know it's not the best
way to deal with things,

but here we are in a basement

full of old memories.

No one can bother us.

- Jiminy Christmas.
- You scared me.

I'm sorry.

- I know how you feel
- about basements

And well, you've been
down here for, wow,

27 minutes and counting.

It's gotta be a record for me.

Honestly, it's not that bad.

What was that?

Furnace.

Ah.

Yeah, no, I still
hate it down here.

Yeah.

You OK?

Yeah, I'll be fine.

Oh.

I think I've just
been so focused

on the wedding

and our future that I

kind of forgot about the past.

Well, she was a great woman.

Yeah, I can
still hear her voice.

- Remember what she always
- used to say to us?

You two

belong in a storybook.

It's Halloween, sweetie.

- What could you possibly
- be upset about?

Ashlynn Ashworth and her friends

- dressed like
- scarecrows in her yard.

And they totally jumped

out and scared us.

You got yard yelped, did ya?

Yep.

Don't let them get to you.

- They were just
- trying to have fun.

But I ran so fast, I spilled
my candy on the way back.

That's OK, Emily.

I'll share mine.

- Jared, that
- won't be necessary.

- I'll take you two
- out on the golf cart.

Awesome.

I heard Mary Louise
and Bob are giving

out full-sized candy bars.

We gotta get there
before they run out.

All in good time, my pretties.

All in good time.

Before we go, why don't

you tell Jared what

I always say about Halloween?

Never go to Ned's house.

He only gives out

free stride elk liver.

True.

What else do I say
about Halloween?

- It started as a day to
- remember those who passed away.

Even though we get to dress up
and get candy from our friends

and family, we

should also remember

our friends and family members
that aren't with us anymore.

And not only should
we remember them,

but they should be celebrated.

But why do we dress up?

Because it's tradition.

- And there's no
- better way to connect

With your friends and neighbors
than through age old traditions.

Now, what do you say we get

back to my favorite one of all,

trick or treating?

Let's do it!

All right, kids, mount up.

Woo!

Happy Halloween!

We got so much candy that year.

Buckets full.

Aw.

- I had no idea that'd
- be the last time

She took us trick or treating.

She was gone just
two weeks later.

That's when the neighborhood
decided to take a step back.

- She was the center of the
- celebration with her creativity

And the costumes

and the decorations.

She always inspired everybody.

Halloween was never
the same without her.

- Of course, I was
- heartbroken when she passed,

- But I had no idea
- that's why everyone else

Pulled back from celebrating.

And I never asked for that.

And certainly not something
Gram-Gram would have wanted.

No, you're right.

I mean, she said it herself.

- Halloween is for remembering
- your loved ones

And having a whole lot of fun.

It's time we bring Halloween

back, Evergreen style.

Are you sure about this?

No, I'm not sure about this.

- I'm actually scared half
- to death about this.

You know how I am.

I don't like scary movies.

- I don't even like movies
- that people say aren't scary,

But definitely are.
- Tell me about it.

- I've been trying
- to get you to finish

NeverEnding Story or forever.

- Yeah, that's
- never gonna happen

- Because I hate quicksand as much
- as I hate scary basements.

Noted.

But it's time for you to wake up
and face the creepy organ music.

For the neighborhood

and for grandma.

And for you.

Now, let's get you out of here.

But first...

- No kissing
- in the creepy basement.

Fair enough.

Speed it up, Buttercup.

We got work to do.

Looking good, Grandma.

I figured I could call
you that now that I'm

officially in the family.

Don't worry.

We're gonna make you proud.

Come up to the attic.

You have to see this.

- Em, do you just want
- to bring them down here?

I can't.

Just... please just come up.

Wow.

Look what I found.

Portal to Pan's Labyrinth.

This was

my grandma's witch hat.

Oh, there's so much
great stuff up here.

I can see why you

spent so much time here.

You've never been to my attic?

No, I was never allowed.

And apparently, I'm
still trespassing.

"No boys allowed,
even Jawid Fawnswuff."

My spelling was atrocious.

- In your defense, that is
- the way I used to pronounce it.

Well, Jared Farnsworth is
very much allowed up here.

- He's not a boy.
- He's a man.

My man.

Mm-hmm.

All right.

We have to brainstorm how we
are gonna make this the best

Halloween in years.

- We could start by selling
- tickets to this creepy attic.

Come on.

It's not that creepy.

Hmm...

I will not be ashamed
by my choice in music.

And how do you explain
the creepy typewriter

from The Shining?

That was my grandma's.

- She taught me
- to type on that one.

- Yeah, and that was
- the desk where I would

Sit and write all my stories.

You know, maybe this is
a message from her to get

you to start writing again.

I wish she'd sent that message
to my former agent or publisher

or two.

- I spent most of my 20s
- trying to make

A career out of writing stories,
but it just wasn't meant to be.

Maybe it's best this
chapter of my life

is left up here, just

a beautiful childhood memory.

This was your dream, Em.

Yeah, but when your dream is
just collecting dust in a box,

it's time to pack
it up and move on.

- All right, we gotta get busy.
- OK.

- We have an HOA
- meeting to plan.

Yes!

We have some serious
bylaws to propose.

Mm!

- I am gonna
- to mobilize the ladies

- Of the activities committee.
- Mm-hmm.

- And if you could coordinate
- with Ned about a venue.

On it.

Thank you.

Oh, Jared.

- Thanks
- for the inspiration, Gram.

We'll make you proud.

- All right, Evergreen
- ladies, this

May come as a very
big surprise, but

in honor of my sweet

Grandma Melrose,

I want to help bring back
Halloween in a big way.

- So let's get a good
- old-fashioned brainstorm

- Going on the thread,
- traditions, old and new.

All ideas welcome.

Fire 'em off.

And as Gram-Gram

would say, mount up.

Come on, honey, let's go.

Ned's hosting, and you know he
needs a good 36 hour advance

notice to demusk the place.

Coming, sweetheart.

I thought we agreed
after the last time

that we weren't gonna hold the
HOA meetings at Ned's anymore.

I mean, he served

expired military rations.

- I think we should
- have a potluck chart.

- Well, then we're
- gonna need a lot of luck

Because Susie's funeral
potatoes almost killed me.

I'm impressed.

- You have really
- upped your game here.

What, is the queen coming?

Nothing says royalty
like charcuterie.

I've got the donuts!

Dibs on the creepy cruller.

Ned, don't push

me on the pastries.

You can't have a creepy cruller

because they don't exist.

Wait, there are only crullers?

No donuts?

I know how popular they are,
so I made them all "croo-lers."

I'm sorry.

What did you say?

Crullers.

I... I said crullers.

That's what I thought.

Thank you, Belinda.

- At least you won't
- embarrass yourself leg

Wrestling Bob for one of them.

I would have won if he let
me wear my orthotic sneakers.

It was barefoot
or bust in my day.

- That's because they
- hadn't invented shoes yet.

So, what's the tea, fam?

Are the new neighbors
going to show up today?

If they do, I'm sure it
will be in a puff of smoke

or on broom back.

I swear those two are witches.

Have you ever heard
that Luna speak?

Every word she says sounds
like she's casting a spell.

So spooky.

Yeah.

- They've been
- invited, as per Jared

And the prima conventus

clause of '94.

I've heard that

Marvin is a mortgage

banker by day and moonlights

as an undertaker just for kicks.

I don't know what they called
them in the 19th century, but

today, we call them morticians.

- And where did you
- hear that from anyway?

Well, I'll give you a hint.

He wears a singlet

for underwear,

and he believes that
pro wrestling is real.

If a masked man gave you
the tombstone pile driver

at a Waffle House outside
of Galveston, I assure you,

you would know just

how real it is.

I can see that your ongoing
litigation with the undertaker

hasn't been resolved.

That doesn't mean that Marvin
works in a mortuary for fun.

Think about it.

The initials, M. Balmer.

M. Balmer.

What kind of a cruel joke
were his parents playing?

Worst part is

I'm M. Balmer V. So

- that's five generations of being
- bullied in middle school.

But no, I am not a mortician
for fun or professionally.

- Just want to clear
- that up from the jump.

Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude.

I'm not offended in the least.

Round about the cauldron go.

In the poison, entrails throw.

No, the poison and then...

And while we're at it,
my wife is not a witch.

- Exactly what
- a witch would say.

Dibs on the ruby slippers.

Round about the cauldron go.

In the poison, entrails throw.

Yes.

Oh, sorry.

You guys must think I'm crazy.

- I just got cast in Macbeth
- at the Castle Theater.

Oh.

She's gonna be witch number one.

- Yeah, that's... that's
- sort of a dream role for me.

Your dream role

is witch number one?

- Yeah, 'cause witch number
- two was already cast.

Ah.

- Marvin and I are
- English professors at UVU

And total Shakespeare buffs.

- What light through
- yonder window

Breaks Ti's our new neighbors.

And Halloween is their sun.

I see we have a fellow
Shakespearean among us.

Just got my Bard card
renewed a fortnight ago.

Huzzah.

Ah.

Here we go.

And your lawn display
is amazing BTDubs.

- An homage to the great
- tragedies.

Mm.

Shakespeare was the father
of the modern horror genre.

Thou speaketh truth.

Aye, aye.

Aye.

Alas, I hate to break
up this fun little drama

camp we've got going on here,
but this is Evergreen Lane, not

the Globe Theater.

And our HOA

president would never

allow this level of theatrics.

Oh!

Ladies and gentlemen of the
HOA, for the first time ever,

we present...

To your muster stations.

Go.

Move.

I got the "croo-lers"."

It's pronounced cruller!

Ladies and gentlemen, I do

apologize for this late start.

- I was unaware of the potency
- of indoor smoke bombs.

You could have just borrowed
my Bulgarian fog condenser,

but whatever.

Noted.

Thank you.

- I'm sure you're all
- wondering why we called

This last-minute meeting.

No, not really.

- Emily emailed us all
- an itinerary last night.

Great. Well, I'm sure
you're all wondering

why the change of heart, then.

No, Emily sent us

a very inspirational voice

memo explaining everything.

Did she now?

That's great.

Well, I guess I'm
not sure what I'm

doing here other than
just looking pretty fly

in my vintage J. Press suit.

- You look great, babe.
- Do you want me to take this?

Please, please.

All right, everyone,

per addendum B,

subparagraph C

of the HOA handbook,

the head of the activities

committee

- has the right and obligation
- to propose and

Uphold traditions new and old.

I love it when you speak bylaw.

- Mm.
- I learned from the best.

Wow, you two really took that
two become one homily to heart.

Oh, thank you so much, Pamela.

That's really sweet.

OK, please stop.

- So, I took
- the committee's feedback.

I ran it by Mr. President here.

And we have decided
to turn Evergreen Lane

into Ever Scream Lane.

Oh, wow...

We have taken the traditions

of yesteryear, combined

with the zeitgeist
of current day,

to bring this spooky season to
life in a new and thrilling way.

Mwahaha.

Inspired by the boldness

of the Balmers,

each household will
be required to create

a Halloween lawn display to

bring the spirit of this holiday

to life.

You have one week to get
your displays together

or there will be consequences.

- I mean, it'll
- be like, you know,

- A citation or community
- service hours.

But do not tempt me for I
have fresh citation pads.

There will be daily activities

leading up to Halloween,

such as a pumpkin
painting contest.

Painting?

Why don't we just
carve those puppies?

- Because Ned, pumpkin
- guts are gross.

They're stringy.
They're slimy.

No.

But it's very visceral for me.

OK, please, Ned, we don't have
time for your sensory obsession.

- Touch your corduroys.
- Thank you, Pamela.

- You're gonna be thrilled
- to know that there

Will be a Beastly Bake-Off.

Yes!

Haha!

Oh, my gosh, I could
be Ghoulia Child.

With spooky sweaters.

And just how we do

a toy drive at Christmas,

- we will be doing
- a charity food drive.

But, duh, duh, duh, duh,
duh, to top it all off...

Sorry.

- OK, Jared really wanted
- to do this part so go ahead.

Thank you so much, honey.

And to top it all off,
on all Hallows' Eve...

October 31, Halloween.

After the tricks
have been played,

after the treats
have been treated,

we will have a cul-de-sac

carnival costume competition.

So bring that

creativity to life.

Are there any rules to who
we can or cannot impersonate?

No more foreign dignitaries.

- We do not need
- the FBI here again.

Yes, Ned.

Please keep all costumes within
the parameters of HOA guidelines

and in accordance with
state and federal laws.

Tricky, but not impossible.

In light of all this, we have
something we'd like to propose.

- That is if we
- can invoke addendum

- 3 of the party protocol.
- Oh?

Well, invoke away, please.

I know you already have
the food drive planned,

but every year, we do a big

spooky alley in our front yard.

We go all out to raise money
for the Children's Hospital.

As a young girl,
I was treated there,

and they saved my life.

So we try to do everything

we can to give back.

That's amazing.

I mean, double the charity.

I love it.

- I really... wait, wait, wait,
- wait, wait, wait, wait.

How spooky are we talking?

Say, like a 5 or a 6
on the Nosferatu meter.

Well, we hit a 7.5 once.

No, no.

7.5?

- But that was close to Y2K,
- so all sorts of things

- Were happening.
- That won't happen again.

Ah, tut, tut, tut.

I know you're 7.5, OK?

I mean, it's...

I think we need to...

OK, I'm not opposed to it.

As long as we remember
this is for the kids.

- So we have to keep the scare
- factor to a 5 or below.

- Yeah, of course.
- Of course.

Should we just take a vote?

Yes.

- I think we have to.
- I mean, it's part of the bylaws.

OK, then that settles it.

I'll pass out some
ballots, and we

can decide if this
neighborhood is

ready to come together
to face our biggest

fears this Halloween.

I've already faced
my greatest fear.

A hot yoga class taught by Ned.

It's free on Thursdays.

Oh, it might be free,
but you will pay dearly.

Trust me.

Now, take me off your Mailchimp.

Halloween is back, baby.

OK.

Who pumpkin spiced your latte?

I'm just so excited.

The vote was unanimous.

- Everyone loved
- my Halloween plans.

And then our new neighbors
had this amazing idea to do

this outdoor spooky alley.

And it's gonna raise money
for the Children's Hospital.

- First lady
- of Ever Scream Lane.

You're really taking charge,
carving up the HOA handbook.

How's Jared doing with all this?

At first, it was really
hard for him to transition

his mind to a new holiday.

- Kind of like he's
- cheating on Christmas.

Right.

- But now that he's in it,
- he's doubling down.

It's like Kevin and K-pop.

This is new.

I played one song
for him one time.

He totally made fun of me.

- The next day, it was
- all he was listening to.

He's basically made it
his whole personality.

Same thing with Jared.

He's been driving all the way to
Provo to go to this tailor-made

costume store almost every day.

You are in it.

- We are, but it is just
- a lot to balance with work.

I feel like I'm kind of just
going through the motions.

- I mean, I'm doing a good
- job, but it's just...

It's not fulfilling.

Welcome to most of America.

I think it's just, you know,
the wedding, and the honeymoon.

- It was so perfect.
- I just want to relive it.

- Well, the honeymoon
- phase is great,

But the real joy of marriage
is the journey that lies ahead.

I love that.

- Speaking of, I have
- to get that little journey

To piano lessons.

And you want to wrap up
that book you're reading?

We gotta get going.

All done.

I finished the whole
series, actually.

Do you have any more?

- Oh, I didn't even
- realize Jared had brought

That box down from the attic.

No, I only wrote the seven.

Seven?

How come I only knew about one?

After my agent didn't get
any bites on the first one,

she dropped me like
a T. Swift album.

Hmm.

- It didn't really
- make sense to continue.

I really like
the different aliens.

Zolt is so funny.

Really?

What was your favorite part?

- Probably when the hover
- wagon was broken

- And Zolt was the only
- one who could

Fix it because of the combo
wrench his dad gave him.

Wow, you really did read it.

Yep.

- Let me know if you
- write anymore.

Thanks, Nicole.

I will.

Oh, cute costume.

Thank you.

You look adorable.

So cute.

You shall not pass!

Fly, you fools.

Boo!

Wizard of Oz.

What are you... what
are you doing here?

I've been trying to ask
you the same question,

- but someone I know
- doesn't answer their phone

- For the last two hours.
- I'm sorry.

The store is a bit
of a dead zone.

Didn't you see the sign?

Jared, that says undead zone.

- It's just a clever sign
- to sell zombie paraphernalia.

I love this store.

Clearly.

- You've been coming
- here every day since we

Jumped on this haunted hayride.
- I just want to feel inspired.

You know, we have a... we have
a costume contest coming up.

No, no.

We're doing Phantom
of the Opera.

We're singing the duet.

- Yeah, um, I wanted
- to talk to you about that.

- Jared, you know
- I don't do harmony.

What if I did

the contest alone?

Oh, OK.

Is that fine?

Yeah.

I mean, I...

I don't know what to say, but...

Honest reaction.

Go.

It's fine.

Of course, it's fine.

- Yeah, we have been doing a lot
- of stuff together lately,

And maybe...

- Maybe we should do
- some things on our own.

OK.

So you're not annoyed?

I'm only annoyed that now I have

to figure out what I'm doing.

Whatever it is, I'm sure
it's going to be epic.

Speaking of epic, we should
discuss lawn display ASAP.

Now, what are you thinking?

Evil battling robots?

Zombie apocalypse?

No, no.

- This is what I
- wanted to tell you.

I think I have found
the perfect thing.

I'm confused.

- I thought we were working
- on the lawn display.

Look around.

What does this remind you of?

- Mainly the fact that I
- missed lunch, and I'm starving.

And I want to eat
the entire store.

No, think about it.

The last Halloween with Grandma.

Hansel and Gretel.

The witch's gingerbread house.

What's more Halloween
than Grimm's fairy tale?

And it's the perfect
way to honor Grandma.

- Let me get to work
- on the blueprints immediately.

- We don't have
- time for blueprints.

- Once we build
- the witch's house,

- It'll be the perfect hiding
- spot for yard yelping.

- Jared.
- Yes!

No.

- I didn't think you
- were into yard yelping.

I'm not.

I'm not.

But if I was, I would be like
the Daniel Day-Lewis of it.

You know I hate

when people do that.

Ashlynn Ashworth still haunts

my dreams 20 years later.

- I could see her in that
- scarecrow makeup.

She's lurking about.

Oh, it's horrible.

Horrible.

- Well, then why would you
- vote to protect yard yelping

In the new HOA protocol?

Because like it or not,

it is a tradition.

And traditions are important.

- But that's why I
- added the regulation

To reduce the scare factor.

That way, Ever Scream Lane
is a Halloween destination

for all, young and old.

So impressive.

- I just really want
- this to be next level.

And it's going to be.

Everyone can see it.

Thanks.

You know what, though,
speaking of Ashlynn,

doesn't she host Wake
Up Utah n Channel 6?

Yes.

Her mom and mine stayed
friends after they moved.

She mentions it every

time she's on TV.

- Do you think she could
- put me in contact with her?

Maybe they could do
a story about what

we're up to this year?

Sure, but aren't you
guys like frenemies?

I mean, we were, but it
was a long time ago.

And if it could help bring
people to the carnival,

that would be great.

- I mean, our neighborhood
- isn't exactly known

As a Halloween destination.

- So if we want to raise
- some serious money

For Children's Hospital, I
do think it's worth a try.

- I like where your head's at.
- Cheers.

- Where's your stomach
- at? 'Cause I'm starving.

Excuse me.

- Can we get a dozen
- pastries to go and one

Of those German
chocolate cookies

and oh, throw in two

honey boys and...

Excuse me.

Could I see this, please?

Ooh, eclair.

Two eclairs.

We don't have to worry

Careful, Bob.

I don't want to fall down.

He's a werewolf.

- Why would he be
- wearing a ball gown?

Let's zhuzh this guy up.

- Careful. That
- could be flammable.

Trust me, I know.

We don't have to worry

Jared, slow down!

Looking good, Belinda.

Thanks, boo.

- Did you just
- call Ned your boo?

No.

- I... I was just
- trying to scare him.

Boo!

Did I scare you?

Right out of my socks, girl.

Hey, Jared, help me put
the nails in my coffin?

Gladly.

Smile, you two.

Oh, what a couple

of handsomes you are.

Oh my goodness.

Ah!

Oh, your thumb.

You need some ice on this.

Jared, a little help.

Yeah, I got you.

- What do you
- clowns think you're doing?

Ah, thank you.

Jared, it has been a real circus

around here with these guys.

I swear, one of them

is possessed.

You know, clowns freak a lot
of people out, but not me.

I actually kind of like them.

- Well, you are
- braver than I am.

You know, I'm gonna try to get
these guys set up over there.

I mean, you've been working out.

Could you get that
big clown stood up?

Of course.
Anything.

Of course, Pamela.

Sure.

Boo!

You just got yard yelped hard.

You did, Jared.

You got me, Helen.

You got me good.

- I thought you said
- clowns didn't scare you.

- Hope we didn't
- scare you too bad.

Don't you ever apologize
for a well-executed prank.

Jared is a big boy.

He can handle it.

That's right.

Oh, look.

Ned and Melinda are

trying to prank you, too.

Are you seeing

what I'm seeing?

Oh, God.

Jared?

Jared, are you OK?

- What's
- happening to him, Mom?

I don't know, sweetie.

Just go inside.

Yes, dear.

Whatever.

Looking good, Belinda.

Thanks, boo.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, here.

Oh.

Is that better?

Yeah, that's better.

Jared, are you OK?

I see dead people.

Jared, don't do anything crazy.

Emily!

Emily!

Emily, where are you?

I'm in the kitchen.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...

Is everything OK?

No, it's not OK.

We are, in fact, in a worst
case scenario, scenario.

Did you get rejected
from the Santa Academy?

- What?
- Did you hear something?

- No.
- It's worse than that.

- How is that even possible?
- It's Ned.

- Did he steal
- your devil sticks?

What?
No.

- Where are those, by the way?
- It's so odd.

Maybe they'll show up.

It's so bad, I don't want
to even say it out loud.

OK.

Is he going through, like,
a flat Earth phase again?

- It's worse than that.
- OK, you're killing me, Smalls.

Spit it out.

Ned is dating my mom.

Oh, no.

I don't care what he says.

I refuse to call him dad.

You might be getting
ahead of yourself here.

You don't know how
serious it is yet.

Whatever it was, it definitely
was not in the friend zone.

- Do they know that
- you saw them flirting?

- No, I'll never
- say a word 'cause I

Want erased from my memory.

Every time I close
my eyes, I can just

- see the way they were
- looking at each other, just

- Focused and intense,
- like there was

No one else in the cul-de-sac.

- Well, it actually
- sounds kind of sweet.

The man pours pickle

brine in his shredded wheat.

There's nothing sweet about him.

I have to tell Pamela
not to tell anyone.

She saw too?

Is that bad?

- That's not good.
- Is she gonna tell everyone?

I mean, that tea's probably
too hot for her not to spill.

We have to stop this.

I get that you're upset,
but you gotta remember,

they're adults.

And Ned is Ned.

- And maybe that's
- what your mom wants.

Or maybe she's under a spell.

- Didn't you say that he studied
- hypnosis in... in Vienna?

Jared, you have to talk to her.

Ask her how she's feeling.

- She's obviously
- worried, and that's

Why she's hiding it from you.

- So tell her it's safe for her
- to talk to you about it.

Well, at this point,
I don't know if it is.

Right.
OK.

Why don't you just
take a breath and go

work on the gingerbread house?

- I'm sure there's some gumdrops
- that need to be gummed

Or some candy that
needs to be caned.

What?

There's no candy
canes at Halloween.

Jared, just eat your pie.

For you, I will.

Needs some sprinkles.

Hmm.

That looks good.

When did you do this?

I've been wrapped up with
all this Ned nonsense,

I didn't even notice this.

What are you doing over here?

Jess was over here with
Nicole the other day,

- and she read all of those
- books that you had

Brought down from the attic.

And she really loved them.

- And it just kind of inspired
- me to pick it up again.

- You totally should.
- It's very casual.

Just the neighborhood
had inspired an idea,

and I just, you know...

- I just started sketching
- some things out.

Sketch away, my love.

It looks great.

You're so talented.

Hmm, thank you.

I love you.

Oh.

- Oh my goodness.
- Ashlynn texted me back.

Oh, nice.

What'd she say?

- The Channel 6 news is
- coming to Ever Scream Lane.

What?

Yeah!

I'm gonna text the girls.

What happened there, Gram?

How'd you go all ski
wampus on me again?

Yeah.

Everything's looking

really good around here.

And I'm writing again.

- I mean, I'm not getting
- too excited just

- Because of what
- happened last time,

But I am having so much fun.

And that's enough
for me right now.

Anyway, it's turning into
the picture perfect holiday,

and it just feels like

everything's come full circle.

I only wish you

were here to see it.

Love you.

Good night.

I'm Ashlynn Ashworth

and welcome to Wake Up Utah.

We are here

on Evergreen Lane, or

should I say Ever Scream Lane?

- A neighborhood that is
- usually known for Christmas

Has traded its cheer

for fear this spooky season.

When we come back,
we will join them

as they kick off the

much-anticipated neighborhood

pumpkin painting contest,
a tradition that has been

squashed for over 25 years.

I nailed that, right?

Hey, is it a bad time?

No, not at all.

We're on commercial.

It is great to see you, Emily.

Good to see you, too.

- Thank you so much for coming.
- Ah, are you serious?

I had to see this for myself.

I still can't believe that
you're behind all of this.

You used to live here.

You know how festive we get.

For Christmas, sure.

- But ever since you got
- so scared by my scarecrow prank,

This entire neighborhood
turned into a ghost town

on Halloween, remember?

Oh, that is good.

Hey, write that down.

Oh, I remember.

- And so does my therapist.
- Trust me.

Come on.

It wasn't that bad.

I mean, your friend
Jeremy was there,

- and he didn't seem too scared.
- Jared.

- Who?
- Me.

Jared Farnsworth.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I meet a lot of people.

No, it's OK.

I was with her the night
that you yard yelped us.

Dressed as Hansel.

- You know, we were in Ms.
- Thorknock's homeroom together.

Super skinny legs.

Always wanted to play
the MASH game with us.

- Super nerdy.
- That's fun to hear.

Oh, yeah.

Big dorky glasses.

- And he would always rig the MASH
- game to end up with you.

I was like, hello.

Well, I guess he

got his wish 'cause we

got married last month.

That's amazing.

- Seriously, congrats you two.
- Thank you.

And thank you so much
for doing this segment.

It's really exciting.

As HOA president, we really
appreciate the exposure,

you know, to... to show how far
we've come since we celebrated

Halloween on this level.

Of course.

- Do you want me
- to interview you two?

- No.
- Yes.

- I... I just was thinking
- we should keep it

- About the neighbor, you know?
- Totally.

OK.

Well, we're about
to be back, so I can

catch up with you guys later?

Yeah, girl, do your thing.

OK.

Uh, Ty, let's move.

Let's go get more coverage.

Do your thing, girl.

What was that?
- I don't know.

I mean, I get around her,
and I turn into plastic.

- That is the least
- of my concerns right now.

- I mean, look, Ned is
- at the table with my mom.

They're on a team.

Relax.

- How am I supposed to relax?
- It's Ned.

And how do you feel about
the Halloween traditions

coming back to life?

It's simply gourd-geous.

Did you see what I did there?

Gourd.

Gourd-geous.

That is a good one.

Did you just come up with that?

That's been ripening
on the vine for years.

Don't make me put you
down for a nap, Bob.

When you're known
for only Christmas,

- you don't have the opportunity
- to show your range.

Mm.

Most people know that I have
a doctorate in arts and crafts.

Oh.

- But what they don't know
- is that I did a study abroad

In the Atacama region
of Northern Chile, which

is the pumpkin capital

of South America.

Basically, I have forgotten

more about these babies

than most people will
learn in a lifetime.

I am about to pH

destroy the competition,

if you know what I mean.

Do you know what I mean?

I think I do.

- How would you describe
- your neighbors?

Intense in a good way.

- Like Benedict from
- Much Ado About Nothing.

I'd say a little
more like Katherine

from Taming of the Shrew.

- She's more
- like Rosalind.

Well, no, I mean, I
know you love your Rosalind.

- Might as well
- talk about Tartuffe.

I'm excited to use
the pointillism

technique my mom taught me.

I think it really captures
the essence of the holiday

without being too on the nose.

I've gone for more
of a cubist approach,

- using shapes to really
- represent the surreal nature

Of what Halloween represents.

- Look at those
- couple goals.

Adorable.

I can't even enjoy
this right now.

Far too upset.

Honey, I want you
to try to stay calm.

Like the wise.

Like the wise.

That's something you only
say under extreme duress.

Deep breaths.

- Ty, for this
- one, I'd love

To get a nice in-camera zoom.

As you can see, not
everyone dressed

up for the painting contest.

I guess some of us
just care more.

Now, Ty, go wide.

Go wide.

Paint with us.

Fun fact.

The first Jack-o-Lanterns
were made from turnips.

Or large potatoes.

It stemmed from the Celtic
Samhain festival in Ireland.

Which some people
pronounce "Sawen."

Yeah.

They were believed to ward off
evil spirits lurking about.

But today, there's a much
more jocular meaning to it,

and dare I say, romantic.

Oh, romantic.

In what way?

- Take our pumpkins,
- for example.

Oh, Romeo and Juliet.

Correct.

We are nearing noontide,
so the lighting is not

correct for this, but could
you imagine what this street

would look like at night?

And with these pumpkins carved
and lit as they should have been

done come eventide, these star

crossed lovers will surely

light up the autumnal sky.

Oh, dear.

Edgar James Brodhead,
step away from my mama.

I most certainly will not.

Jared, sweetie, you know what?

Let's just take a minute

and talk about this.

- That's a great idea, Belinda.
- You know what?

- Why don't we turn off
- the cameras for a second,

And we can discuss this?

How long has

this been going on?

- Well, I can't
- speak for the lady.

But as for me, two

Christmases ago, the night

- you first took the throne
- in Santa's Village.

Betrayed,

and in my own kingdom.

I will not allow you

to defame the Farnsworth name

with your unwelcomed advances.

They are more than welcome.

Thank you very much.

Is that true?

Truer than true north.

More absolute than

absolute zero.

Oh.

There you have it, folks.

True love right here on live TV.

And just like that, HOA
President Jared Farnsworth

smashes a Jack-o-Lantern

of love,

begging the question, should
this neighborhood actually

be called Ever Mean Lane?

That's enough, Ashlynn.

Back to you, Ted.

Back to you, Ted.

As a childhood

resident of the lane,

I know from experience

how firm of a grip

the homeowner's association

has on its residents.

The intensity is simply too much
for some, including my parents.

When asked, HOA President

Jared Farnsworth

refused to make

a statement, but his actions

spoke much more than words.

Many Utahns would dream

of living on Evergreen Lane,

but today, felt more like
a nightmare on Elm Street.

Oh, come on.

That's just yellow journalism.

With a reputation like that,

- I have a feeling
- the surrounding communities will

Be frightened away from
the rest of the activities

this Halloween.

Turn it off.

- I'm Ashlynn
- Ashworth, and this is...

- Thank you for letting
- us use your house

- As a neutral holding zone
- while the deliberation occurs.

So sorry you had to see that.

I thought it was kind
of exciting, actually.

Ned Brodhead is
dating my mother.

Do you understand
the implications

behind that type of betrayal?

And you expect me
to be concerned

with anything else right now?

- I mean, I don't left
- from right, up from down.

- I don't know
- diagonals right now.

I mean, the man who lived

next door to me, my best man.

And the woman that
gave birth to me.

She gave birth to me.

And I don't know what's
happening right now.

I'm so confused.

- Let's just put a hold
- on the existential crisis

Until we hear what it is you
have to do to make this right.

- And I just hope
- they don't strip you

Of your presidential powers.

They can do that?

- It's in the hands
- of the Triumvirate of Truth.

Is it from Star Wars?

- Oh, don't let
- the name fool you.

- It's just Mary
- Louise, Pam and Bob.

- They meet at Swigalicious
- & Sugarhouse.

Don't belittle the system.

- These are time-proven
- protocols, emergency measures

To bring balance to the bylaws.

Star Wars.

- Who can forget
- the great Hayfield-McAvoy

Debate of '91 when
a power grid dispute

almost canceled Christmas.

But lo, two humble HOA members

stepped into the breach

and created the Magna
Carta of merriment.

- Are you saying all of this
- because you and I invented it?

Can't I just
be proud of our work?

Yes, but you don't
make us sound humble.

Humble.
Shmumble.

That's not a nice accusation.

Can we please make a good
impression on the new neighbors?

Honey, do you think

you'll ever forgive me?

It's not my forgiveness

you need right now.

The Triumvirate of Truth
has reached a decision.

Do what must be done.

- Jared
- Farnsworth, you have

- Been charged with destruction
- of personal property

And projecting a pumpkin
in a pedestrian perimeter.

- Not only did this impact
- the cleanliness of our curbs,

But it brought negative news
coverage to the neighborhood,

which in turn plummeted
the projected property

values by approximately 3%.

Hold my soda.

We know Ned to be neurotic,

and now is known to be

necking with your next of kin.

However, we have reviewed

the reasoning for your revolt,

and although we find

the target of your treason

to be tyrannical, it
cannot be tolerated.

In order to be forgiven, you
must fulfill the following.

- I don't read
- cursive very well.

I'm sorry, Bob, I

don't know hieroglyphics.

I'll paraphrase.

Your powers will be temporarily
suspended and given to Emily

until you make things right.

Emotions are running
really high right now,

and we think you need
to sit down with Ned

and talk it over, man to man.

You ruined it, Bob.

- You took away all
- of my alliteration and flair.

I got you, girl.

Basically, you better
buy the old buck a beer.

- I accept
- the Triumvirate's decision.

I... I'm sorry.

Hold on.

Look, I'm all for you
making good with Ned.

I mean, you can go
out on your mandate.

You can bro it up all you want.

But as your interim president,
I have a mandate of my own.

Anything.

Before you go

out with your bro,

I think Belinda deserves
a one-on-one conversation

of her own, don't you?

I concur, Madam President.

Thank you.

I'm so embarrassed.

We had so much soda.

I can't believe that we
never thought of her.

- I blame the firm psychological
- grip of the patriarchy.

My bad.

It's OK.

I've got my traveling quill.

All right.

- I'll just add this to the bottom
- of the parchment, OK?

Bend.

Do not tell book
club about this.

Hmm.

Yum.

Pink meringue?

Oh, yes.

Thank you.

They look delicious.

- You know, you
- didn't have to spring

For the Queen Victoria package.

I know, but I wanted to.

I know you've always wanted
to have tea with a daughter,

but there are no rules

about having it with a son.

I appreciate it.

But it's me.

We... we can just talk.

OK.

And I will start by apologizing.

Emily reminded me that
we're all adults here,

and I sure wasn't
acting like one.

Neither did I. I

could have told you.

I should have told you when I
first started catching feelings.

But it took me a while

to realize what was happening.

So, are... are you

and Ned like an item?

I don't know how

to define it exactly,

but according to Mary

Louise, the kids

would say we're talking.

Talking?

What does that... first of all,

how does an 80-year-old

woman know what the lingo is?

Mom, the real question is, are...

Are you happy?

I find myself

smiling every day.

That Ned is a real rizzler.

Hmm.

Rizzler?

Mm-hmm.

Love that for you.

I think.

- Your father's been
- gone for so long that I...

I kind of forgot what it felt
like to be seen in that way.

And I never expected

to feel that way about Ned.

But something about
him has changed.

And I love the way his eyes
light up when he sees me

or when he listens to me talk.

And I know he's one tall glass
of some self-distilled spirit,

but he gets me.

And oh, when he kisses me...

Oh, you can stop there.

I get the picture.

Oh, boy.

- I think it just
- caught me by surprise.

You know, I...

Ned and I haven't
always gotten along.

And he's the strangest

man I've ever met.

But you know I love the guy.

I know you do.

And honestly, it's
still early with us.

- I don't know what's
- gonna happen,

But it means so much to me to
know that I have your support.

Absolutely.

I love you, son.

I love you, too.

But if you call Ned

the rizzler ever again,

I'm gonna change my mind.

So when did you first know?

Christmas Eve,

the year Emily came back.

Your mother joined me outside
for a mug of hot bourbon cider.

It was so dark.

I could just see

the moon on her hair.

And we started talking
about our favorite stars.

You know, I could not

narrow it down to one star,

but I do have a favorite nebula.

Of course, 'cause
everyone knows that.

So, I was born...

May 1.

Yes, which makes me a...

Please land your plane.

A Taurus.

Taurus.

Boo.

Which means my favorite is
going to be the Crab Nebula,

otherwise known as NGC 1952.

Sure.

Every... everyone knows that.

Yes, but what I didn't
know was your mother's

favorite star is Astraea.

North Star.

You didn't know that at all.

- I literally named the only
- star I could think of.

It's OK.

Not all of us are astrophiles.

But those of us who are
know that it is located

in the constellation of Taurus.

And then your mother tells
me that Astraea is really

a very famous Greek nymph.

How about I stop
you right there.

- It's gonna be enough
- mythology for one evening.

No, really, you should Google
the story and read it later.

It's a scorcher.

I promise you, I will not.

OK.

But do you want

to ask you a favor.

Yes, sir.

First, never use nymph and

my mother in the same sentence

ever again.

That's a big ask.

I'm asking.

I'm gonna try.

Try really, really hard.

Yes, sir.

Also, please treat her well,
and please be honest with her.

I swear on the stars.

And you watch out

for yourself too, Brodhead.

- You hear me?
- OK.

If she breaks your heart,
don't come crying to me.

The game of love is

high risk, high reward.

I know what I'm playing.

I swear.

To risking it all.

Do you want to play some pool?

I'll play billiards.

You can call it
whatever you want.

You're going down, Brodhead.

Yeah, sure.

Hey, babe.

What are you still doing up?

I had an idea, and it
just keeps flowing.

I couldn't sleep.

How'd it go with
Ned and Belinda?

Oh, that good, huh?

Not my weeds.

Not my garden.

Well said.

I'm about to head to bed.

But should I wait up for you?

No, I'm almost done here.

I was hoping maybe we could
snuggle and watch a movie.

- I think I can
- make that happen.

Do not drop me, please.

Why would I drop you?

What are you talking about?

So by watch a movie, do
you mean start a movie

and then in 15 minutes,

you'll be asleep in my arms?

Yeah, but first, we
could flirt a little,

you know, laugh

and cuddle while we

try to find something to watch.

That actually sounds amazing.

Mm.

It's my favorite thing
in the whole world.

You know, the more I think

about the Ashlynn situation, I...

- The more I feel like
- maybe I should reach out

And just try and clear the air.

It was me who embarrassed
himself on regional TV.

No, honey, I'm not

talking about pumpkin gate.

Oh.

Something she said
on the broadcast.

Like, maybe her family
felt like they were

pushed out of the neighborhood.

I mean, I know I can't
change anything, but I...

I just would really love
to extend a peace offering,

you know?

I mean, we're adults.

- We shouldn't be...
- Shouldn't have this, like,

Weirdness from

our childhood between us.

- If that's the way
- you feel, I think you

Should definitely reach out.

Thanks, honey.

Mm-hmm.

Isn't it so nice

to have someone you can

say anything to at any time?

That is the best definition
of marriage I've ever heard.

- Hey, thanks so much
- for agreeing to meet me.

Oh, of course.

I'm sorry I don't
have more time.

- I have just been
- so busy with the tapings

- And keeping up
- with my followers.

I've recorded seven
cameos this week.

Oh my goodness.

I'm gonna make it quick.

I, um...

Don't worry about Michaela.

She has heard it all.

She is a vault.

I just wanted to apologize
for when we were younger.

I was the one that
scared you, remember?

I know, but what I

really mean is after that.

I know the neighbors went into
overdrive trying to protect me

after my grandmother passed and
after the whole scarecrow thing.

And I just really hope that's
not the reason your family

decided to move away.

- And after you moved, I
- thought you were angry at me.

- I really did.
- I thought you were mad.

And I should have talked to you
about it right then and there.

And instead, I put up this wall.

- And it wasn't because I
- didn't like you.

- It was actually
- quite the opposite.

Come on, Emily.

You nickname me Shlynn Shady.

And that was totally unfair.

- I mean, how were you
- supposed to know that I was

Gonna ask Buzz Okie to Sadie's?

Everyone wanted to ask Buzz.

Ah, blue eyed Buzz.

The truth is you were
so cool and popular,

and I just loved what you did
with the school announcements.

- You never told me that.
- Well, I should have.

They were clever and funny,
and everyone loved them.

And I mean, look.

Look where you are now.

Secretly, I kind of always
wanted to volunteer to write

the copy for the teleprompter.
- Why didn't you say anything?

I just never had the courage.

And I was embarrassed
about how things ended

between us when you moved.

I just want to say
I'm sorry that I let

my own insecurities come
between what could have

been a really cool friendship.

We need
Ashlynn in Studio C, ASAP.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

- I have to run.
- It's OK.

Talk later?

- Yeah, of course.
- Go, go, go.

Thank you.

Great.

Oh, here's a headshot for free.

Oh, thank you.

I'll see you soon.

That went well.

- I can't
- believe you confronted

The great and powerful Ashlynn.

- It's been bugging
- me for years.

- It felt so good to get
- it off my chest.

I mean, she didn't give me much
of a reaction, but that's OK.

It was worth it.

I gotta say, I'm proud
of you on so many levels.

Oh, thank you.

Also, I think you're really
on to something this year.

- Those spider doodles
- look amazing.

They taste great too.

- I had three of them
- when Mom wasn't looking.

- Nicole Marie, you're
- gonna make yourself sick.

Come on, it's Halloween.
Isn't that the point?

Well, fine.

At least give me a bite, then.

Mm, those are amazing.

Thank you.

I'm so glad.

- But save some room
- for Pamela's, 'cause you know,

She is a shoo-in
to win the contest.

No secret there.
- I don't know.

- I'm pretty much of a cookie
- expert at this point.

I think you have a chance.

Thanks.

I mean, we'll see.

- I just do feel like the creative
- juices have been flowing,

- You know, since I
- started writing again.

I don't know.

Maybe some of that energy has
been absorbed into the baking

as well.
- Hmm.

- I was gonna say there's
- something different about you.

I thought it was
the honeymoon glow,

but got a little spark in ya.

I didn't realize how much
I missed writing, you know?

- Like, I've forgotten about
- the joy it brings me.

I think I thought copy writing
was enough, but maybe it's not.

Well, now you know.

- At least you're back
- to doing something you love.

Yeah, exactly.

And even if it doesn't turn
into something I do for money,

- at least I know it's
- important to me.

It's exactly how I feel
about The Real Housewives

of Salt Lake City.

Oh, I wish they'd
bring Monica back.

- Right?
- She's the best part.

I was more intrigued
by Jen's storyline.

I said I was a good

mom, not a perfect mom.

- I hope it's OK
- that we're a little late.

- I'll get it set up.
- Thanks.

Oh, thank you

so much for hosting.

Belinda was a little
preoccupied this week,

if you know what I mean.

Are you kidding?

- This is our idea
- of a house-warming party.

More like heartwarming.

Seriously, we have

lived in a lot of places

and never really felt

like we fit in until now.

Aw.

- Well, I think if we
- looked into the cauldron,

We would see a lifetime

of friendship ahead for us.

Look at our little angel, all
caught up in festive spirit.

True I've never
seen her so happy.

But our angel

still can't compete

with our devil fruit cake.

Mm, Albert, you
little demon, you.

Come on, come on.

- Just let me have
- just a little taste.

Bob, not Yeti.

Oh, I have never
been so in love.

- Well, if you're so in love,
- go get me a drink.

I can't believe you would take
pallesthesia over echolocation.

I mean, have you lost
your prefrontal cortex?

See, there you go again.

Trying to confuse me with
your technical jargon.

I'm just saying, money
aside, I would rather be

Peter Parker than Bruce Wayne.

You are so wrong.

I'm not wrong.

Oh, Luna.

Wow.

The detail of your piping

is amazing.

I applaud your efforts.

I... I really do.

And this is your first

cookie competition, is it?

Yep.

And I guess we'll have to see
if a win is to be or not to be.

Oh, never heard that one before.

Either way, we're
really hoping we

can at least turn a few heads.

Oh, well, how very
optimistic of you.

But alas, poor Yorick,

once the judges

- take a bite of my chocolate
- chip chupacabras,

You're gonna be heading
home with a participation

ribbon pinned on your festive

little sweater.

Hmm-mm.

And that is what we call

pre-game intimidation, Helen.

Take notes.

Shoot, they're pretty good.

OK, come on.

Are we ready?

Welcome to the first Beastly
Bake-Off in more than 20 years.

We had a wickedly hard time
judging the entries this year.

And I'm a little scared
to announce the winner.

- You should be
- scared, lover girl,

'Cause if I smell any Neddy boy
nepotism, I will go nuclear.

I can assure you that outside
of this year's amazing entries,

there has been no home cooking

in the selection process.

Unlike Christmas rules, there

is only one winner today,

no second or third place.

That's right.

- Only room for one creature
- in this cavern, baby.

OK, here we go.

And the winner is...

For her cinnamon spider
doodles, Emily Farnsworth!

There's no such
thing as "croo-lers."

Pam.

Pamela.

No, no.

Pamela.
Pamela.

Pamela.

Darling.

Pamela, it's me.

It's Mary Louise.

Oh, Mary Louise, it's you.

Mm-hmm.

Bob, it's you too.

Oh, you guys.

I just... I just had

the most horrible dream.

Oh, there were cookies

and... and a witch.

And... and you were there.

And... and Belinda,
you were there.

Oh, and Jared, you
were there, too.

And... and so were...

You.

Easy.

Mm.

Easy.

We've already performed

the awards audit.

I can confidently confirm

that there was no tomfoolery.

She won fair and square.

But I... you know,
and she can't...

I mean, how could she?

- She's never been able
- to cook anything in her life.

Pamela, if I had known how
much this was gonna upset you

- or how you were
- gonna to react, I...

- I would have just given
- up and let you win.

You and me both.

Where's my Helen?

- She's in her room
- FaceTiming with her dad.

Thank you.

Sure.

Well, I don't know if it's
the head injury or not,

but I want to apologize

to all of you.

Every year, I get so obsessed

with winning that I

let it become my identity.

But as I look around

and see all of your faces,

I realize that I've
already won because I

live on Evergreen Lane,

and there's no place like home.

Aw.

- Uh, guys, I'm
- so sorry to interrupt

This very sweet moment.

Then don't.

But I have news.

It looks like Channel 6 wants
to come out and live stream

the carnival, spooky

alley and all.

Looks like we better
haul out the Halloween.

Yes!

Yay!

OK, everyone, everyone.

Thank you.

- Thank you so much for coming
- on such short notice.

An opportunity has
presented itself,

and I just had to share
and bring it to a vote.

I got a text from Ashlynn
Ashworth at Channel 6,

and it looks like they want
to come back to the lane.

What about that smear
piece she did about us?

It wasn't exactly a smear.

Jared did go full Billy
Corgan on those pumpkins.

Yes, he did.

- And I'm taking full
- responsibility for my actions.

Apparently, it was great
for ratings for the network,

and they want to come back
and cover the carnival and

the spooky alley.

I think this could take our
fundraiser to the next level.

I think we should do it, guys.

They've lived here
like, five minutes.

I'm just saying, you
know, it's fund raising.

- You know, it's
- for the kids, but you know,

It's still seems
really fishy to me.

I smell a conspiracy.

Can't risk any more bad press.

Guys, guys, guys, come on.

It's time to help a pres out.

Listen, when I had to relinquish

my powers to my better half,

I realized something.

I realized that serving this
community, it's a privilege.

And I let my anger
get the best of me.

And I was a very poor example
of how a leader should be.

- Luckily, you guys
- cared about me enough

To give me a second chance.

Now, it's our chance to come
together as a community and

- a neighborhood
- and celebrate in front

Of the entire state of Utah.

And a few select counties

in Idaho, Wyoming, and Nevada,

depending on local TV markets.

Yes, Ned.

Not important, but sure.

Yeah.

The point is, it's time we
back up our humble president,

and we show everyone what
Halloween means to us.

- What do you say?
- Are you in?

Yeah, I'm in.

Ever Scream on three.

1, 2, 3...

Ever Scream!

I believe in...

Oh.

Hey, do you ever bob for apples?

Oh, you better believe it.

Oh, well, we're on.

Here we go.

But I keep on going

I can't afford to look back down

Oh-oh-oh-oh

Is that why they call
it bobbing for apples?

Leave him alone.

- It'll keep him
- busy till nap time.

Smart.

Inflatables are not scary
and if they get unplugged,

it's just
I mean, the illusion is ruined.

- The idea is for the kids
- to have a good time,

Not sending home
with night terrors.

- Look at this.
- This is horrifying.

Hey, OK.

We're gonna nix her and also
the animatronic Chucky doll.

- But I'm keeping
- the homemade Babadook.

- Oh, keep the Babadook.
- Babadook.

Guys, I'm a little worried
about the costume contest.

We don't have many sign-ups.
I mean, my parents are given.

- Jared said he's
- preparing something.

Other than that,
it is slow, and I'm

- just worried we won't have
- a lot of foot traffic,

You know, for the spooky alley.

- I just hope
- the rumors aren't true.

What rumors?

Well, I don't like to gossip.

Says the woman who invented
the Avril Lavigne conspiracy.

Oh, I have my reasons.

And quite compelling
evidence, I might add.

Thank you.

I don't care about that.

- Belinda, tell me what you heard.
- Please, spill it.

Honey, you've gotta go listen.

- I want to know what
- they've been talking about.

- I'm scared.
- We've been gone for months.

- I don't care if you're scared.
- Grab a couple cans...

All right.

Well, you; Know Mary Louise's
hairdresser, Brittany Bateman?

Girl can frost a top,
and that's no rumor.

- Apparently, her
- sister-in-law, Heidi Burch,

Works out at Train
Insane when none

other than Ashlynn Ashworth.

She said they're only covering
the spooky alley for clickbait.

What?

Oh, I don't understand.

She's hoping it's
gonna be a train

wreck like the pumpkin contest.

What do you got?

I got nothing.

And after what she
posted about Pamela

from the Beastly Bake-Off.

How do you suppose she heard
about that, do you reckon?

I kept in touch with her mother.

I didn't know the phone
call was on the record.

- There was always something
- strange about Ashlynn.

- Didn't you tell me that when
- you were in high school,

They called her Shlynn Shady?

Yes, technically.

- But that was kind
- of my fault. I don't think

- She has an ulterior motive.
- Oh, really?

- You don't think she does?
- Oh, I hope so.

- But you know, after that
- first news piece went viral,

- It doesn't look like
- the rest of the neighborhood

Is so confident.

Rumor or not, we can't
let this thing fail.

- It's for charity now, and we're
- gonna prove everyone wrong.

Yes.

You know Marvin
and I are all in.

Thank you.

I don't doubt it.

- And you can put
- Bob and I down, too.

Yeah, we've been cooking up
something that's electrifying.

Really?

What is that?

You can put down
DJ Frankenstein...

Not another word, Mary Louise.

I do not want any spoilers.

That's exactly what Jared said.

- He's not doing
- something with you?

- No, he insisted
- on doing something solo.

What about you guys?

- Ned asked me
- to join up with him.

- Really?
- What are you going as?

- I'd tell you, but he
- made me sign an airtight

Non-disclosure agreement.

I will say the stakes are
very high with this one.

What does airtight
mean to you, exactly?

And what about you, Pamela?

Don't ask.

You know that Helen
and I are ride or die.

I wasn't asking
you to tag along.

- I have something very
- special up my sleeve anyway.

Well, I hope that it's
spooky, because we've

got something that's gonna
push that Nosferatu meter

to a high 5.

Ah!

Haha, yeah!

Uh, yeah, touchdown, Bob.

Now, empty those tubs

because they're contaminated.

- You're a lucky
- lady, Mary Louise.

I don't know why that
keeps happening to you, Gram.

You trying to tell me something?

- I don't know what
- the stress levels are

- Like on the other side
- there, but let me tell you,

They are getting pretty

high around here.

I'm just trying
to balance it all,

you know, Jared, and the HOA and
my work and all the activities.

And I really just want

to make you proud.

She is proud.

Are you sure about that?

Yeah.

The whole neighborhood

is, especially me.

Oh, honey.

I'm proud of you, too.

- Even after
- my near impeachment?

OK, so it wasn't exactly
your brightest moment,

but it did show me how much
you care about your mom.

And I love that about you.

- And I love
- everything about you.

I gotta tell you.

There was this moment at the
bake-off when they announced

my name as the winner.

Mm-hmm.

It was the first time I
had heard someone else say

it out loud, Emily Farnsworth.

I just had this surge

of joy and love,

and it just filled my heart

from bottom to top.

That is, of course, until it
was totally ruined when Pamela

face planted into the ground.

But for a moment,
it was perfect.

I'm so proud to be
married to you.

Thank you for saying that.

I needed to hear that.

I think I was

really good at being

your boyfriend, your fiance.

And feel like I'm dropping the
ball a little as your husband.

Oh, honey, come on.

Marriage, this is
new for both of us.

- I mean, there's no shame
- in needing practice.

Yeah.

I think if we're willing
to be honest about what's

going on inside, the good,

the bad, the ugly,

I think we'll be just fine.

Yeah, I think so too.

- I am a little worried about
- all these rumors that are going

Around about Ashlynn Ashworth.

I just... I don't even know
what to believe anymore.

- Even if they
- are true, so what?

- This entire neighborhood
- is pulling together.

And if she thinks that we're
gonna fall apart on live TV,

she's dead wrong.

You're absolutely right.

This neighborhood is so special.

- And if people don't
- get it, that's on them.

You know what?

I'm gonna stay up and work
on my book a little bit.

OK.

You don't have to wait up.

Take all the time you

need 'cause I am planning

a little surprise for us.

Are you a good

witch or a bad witch?

- I was gonna ask
- you the same thing.

- Why?
- I'm clearly Glinda the good.

I know.
Sorry.

I don't know why I said that.

- You look cute, but what's
- with the headset?

- Well, somebody's
- gotta run the show, so...

I get that.

- I'm excited Where's
- your husband?

- Oh, he's been
- out running errands

For the carnival all day.

I think he's waiting
for the big reveal.

- He doesn't want anyone
- to see his costume

Till the last minute.

- I'll make sure
- the cameras are rolling.

OK, yeah.

I should probably go.

All right, thanks.

Ty, let's get B-roll.

What do they say?

Wickedness was never happiness.

But this outfit begs to differ.

You look amazing.

Thank you.

Where is your costume.

I told you, it's a surprise.

OK, well, you better hurry up.

I can't be seen with
a Halloween humbug.

I would not dream of it.

I don't know what to think.

- I just can't tell
- if she's up to no good.

It doesn't matter.

Look at this cul-de-sac.

- You're literally
- surrounded by loved ones.

You got this.

There you go.

Gotta go.

Look who's coming up.

Ghosts goblins

Look who's coming.

Oh, yeah.

When you think they aren't there

Hello!

Happy Halloween.

Playing tricks...

See you later.

Happy Halloween.

Happy Halloween.

Ah, good morrow to you.

- What are you?
- 30?

No, out of here.

Out.

You did my taxes last year.

You can't trick or treat.

You're too old.

I'm afraid of the dinosaur.

What are you?

Mon die...

And don't come back.

I hope it picks up.

I'm not worried.

- You think it has anything
- to do with pretty

Pink princess over there?

I mean, I hope not.

Oh, yeah, I see how it is.

- You don't show up
- for Helen's harp recital,

- But you make it
- to the Halloween party.

Sorry, sis.

- You know I can't pass up a good
- old-fashioned fright fest.

It is a full moon, but keep
the scares to a minimum.

- Emily will have you
- removed from the premises.

It's true.

I'm more Teen Wolf
than full blown Lycan.

What...

- Lycan is nerdy little
- brother speak for werewolf.

The lore is very
important to me,

especially at this time of year.

Do you accept cashier's checks?

Oh, sure.

I don't see why not.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

These are great, by the way.

Yeah.

All right, scare you guys later.

Bucky, this isn't Costco.

Those aren't free samples.

No, no, no.

Let him have it.

Like it or not,

the man is generous.

[WILLIE DIXON, "I AIN'T"

[SUPERSTITIOUS"]

Well, I ain't superstitious

But a black cat crossed my trail

Well, I ain't superstitious...

Sister.

Who dares receive it other

as we shall make our griefs and

clamor roar upon this death?

And now, straight
from Transylvania,

some dark magic from Dracula.

I want to blow your mind.

Ah, haha!

False face must hide what
the false heart doth know.

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

I hope I haven't made a mistake.

Ah.

Oh!

You are like me now, my love.

Ho, ho, ho.

All right, everybody, let's
give it up for DJ Frankenstein

and his boo thang.

- If you're
- looking at our costumes

And you're feeling kind of jelly

I'll tell you a story
by the Lady Mary Shelley

This tale is guaranteed to send

a shiver down your spine

- It's about the one
- and only Dr. Frankenstein

He ignored his friends at school

and didn't listen
to his teachers

- He went around his lab just
- to work on his creature

It took a bolt of lightning

to bring the thing to life

And then when he was done

He started working on his wife

Doctor what?

Doctor, doctor

- Dr. Frankenstein.
- Doctor who?

Doctor, doctor

Dr. Frankenstein

Hey.

Hey.

I... I should have said this
earlier, but I just wanted

to thank you for your kindness.

It meant a lot

to Jared and all of us,

really, that you were willing
to give us a second chance.

Please, don't mention it.

- And I want to give
- you something.

It's... it's not
totally finished.

It's the dummy.

But in the spirit
of Ever Scream Lane,

- it's about a little
- scarecrow who

Loves the tricks
of Halloween and

a witch who loves the treats.

And, well, they figure

out that they can

both have a Happy Halloween.

It's so cute.

Oh, look.

It's us.

Who did this?

Oh, I did it.

Yeah, I... I did it.

I... you know, this whole season
has been full of ups and downs,

but it's really inspired me to
get back to doing what I love.

- And you were a huge
- part of that.

I don't understand.

- You've just always
- known what you've wanted,

And you've gone for it.

And I truly admire that.

And I may have gotten
a little sidetracked,

but I realized I gotta get
back to doing what I love,

which is writing books.

Well, thank you for this.

And thank you for what you said
when you visited the studio.

- It really helped me put
- everything into perspective.

I could have been a lot
nicer to you as well.

Maybe now we can start over?

I'd really like that.

Yeah?

Yeah, I'd really like that.

And just a heads-up, you

might want to send some more

- volunteers to the ticket booth.
- Oh, really?

- I've been sharing
- the fun on my stories,

And the word is
really spreading.

- You're about to have a lot
- more visitors headed your way.

Oh, thank you.

We're ready for them.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's
time for our special guest,

Nickelback on Elm Street.

I love Nickelback.

Give it up for the lead
singer, Chaddy Kroeger.

I realized when
I was picking out

- this Chaddy Kroeger outfit,
- that was the old Jared thinking.

Now, I'm thinking
as your husband.

What I really wanted was
something for... for us.

That's what this is.

What is this?

Step into my lair.

Oh, oh.

Oh, look at their costumes.

Could they be more adorable?

No.

- Someone surprised me with
- a couple's costume, after all.

- I like this so much,
- I'm not gonna take it off.

I don't think I could take
these off if I wanted to.

- Pamela sewed my shirt
- into my pants.

- Thanks again for making
- the fundraiser happen, guys.

- They are still
- counting donations,

But we have already earned
double what we did last year.

We should get some mead.

By the way, a courier

dropped this off today.

You were busy with
your tape measure,

- so I told him I
- would give it to you.

OK, thanks.

What's this?

It's velvet.

I got in.

We're going to Norway!

That is if my wife and I agree
after an in-depth discussion.

There you go.

Good save.

Santa Academy!

Yes!

Hey, but tonight's
not about Santa.

- And we may only have
- a few hours left

To celebrate before Christmas
takes over so what do you say

we give Halloween all we got?

Happy Halloween.

Happy Halloween!

Halloween is cool.

All right, Ned, I'll have some.

- And thus,
- began a new chapter

In the story of Evergreen Lane.

We became the annual go

to place for trick or treating.

And the spooky alley

fundraiser was a huge success.

- In order to keep the peace,
- we let Pamela and

Helen win the costume contest.

- The excitement of my new
- children's book,

Along with Jared's
loving support,

- gave me the confidence
- to quit my job

And pursue writing full-time.

I know what Gram-Gram
was trying to tell me.

The true spirit of Halloween is
about remembering the ones you

love and having fun
in creating memories

with those that are still here.

If you can remember

that and pass

- the tradition
- on to the next generation,

That spirit will
never truly die.

La, la, la, la, la