All language subtitles for Desperate Housewives Season 6 Episode 22 - The Ballad of Booth

Previously on Desperate Housewives,
Eddie added his mother to his list of

victims. How'd it go?

Well, it would go a lot faster if we
could get his mother in here.

Nobody's seen her for days.

Bree saw a disturbing side of Sam.

I'm afraid of them.

Susan attacked Mike's financial
problems.

Is this everything?

Yep. Gabby got the truth. I got involved
with a bad guy.

You're not talking about Nick, are you?
No.

Danny's father.

A really bad guy.

Right here.

We have whatever you can stuff in a
couple of bags. Not without you. Off

Danny. And Angie faced her worst fear.

Are you going to kill me?

We discussed it in the morning. And if
you decide to run away, say goodbye to

Nick because he won't be around much
longer after you've gone.

Angie Bolan was having trouble sleeping.

She kept dreaming about her life and the
choices she had made.

After all, it was her decision to drop
out of college.

It was her idea to join a group of eco
-terrorists.

She let herself fall in love with their
charismatic leader.

And she agreed to build him a bomb.

Angie knew her choices had been bad
ones.

How else could she have ended up here
with a man she despised?

Good morning.

How long have you been sitting there?

For a while.

I've been admiring your scar.

It is so beautiful.

What are you doing?

You should be proud.

It's a symbol of what we accomplished.

We killed a guy. I'm not so proud.

What's one life compared to the planet?

What we did was noble.

Tell that to his wife.

When did you stop loving me?

Was it while we were still together, or
was it after Nick took you from me?

I risked her.

Uncuff me.

Answer the question.

I never loved you.

That's a lie.

In fact, I'm thinking there's a good
chance that you still do.

Don't touch me.

Maybe if we made love, you'd remember.

We could.

But you might not like it when I vomit
into your mouth.

You do realize I could kill you.

But you won't.

Because you need me for something.

That's true.

Well, don't just keep me in suspense.

Tell me.

You're going to make me another bomb.

You can never make me do that.

Yes. Angie Boland had made some bad
choices in her life.

You're going to be surprised by what I
can make you do.

And she now had no choices left.

Detective John Booth was not happy.

You see, someone had been killing women
in the town of Fairview, and

he hadn't a clue as to who it was.

For months, he had pored over autopsy
photos, read

psychological profiles, and interviewed
witnesses.

But Detective Booth was still no closer
to finding the killer.

Until one day... Booth speaking.

Really?

Yeah. Okay, we'll be right there.

What's up?

Some kid came across a woman's body
buried in the woods.

Strangled? We'll find out.

Forensics is over there right now,
digging her up.

Hey, Eddie.

We need to talk.

Did I do something wrong?

No. I went to your house to see your
mom.

You did?

Why?

I wanted to ask her to come to therapy
with you. Dr. McCarthy thought it might

be helpful.

What did she say?

Actually, she wasn't there.

I don't want to worry you, but her
neighbor said no one has seen her for

Look, I'm sure that must sound like a
big deal to you, but this has been going

on my whole life.

She's off on another bender.

In a week or two, she'll come back like
nothing ever happened.

So we don't need to call anyone?

You think she's okay?

Yeah.

It's only a matter of time before she
turns up.

Okay, my plane's in an hour.

Wish you weren't going to be gone for
your birthday. The girls are going to be

so disappointed.

The commission on this deal is worth 40
grand.

I will dry their tears with dollar
bills.

I wish.

And don't worry, I'll have your favorite
dinner waiting.

That's okay, babe. We can just go out to
dinner and celebrate.

But I make you lasagna every year.

I know. I just don't want you to have to
go through all the trouble. That's all.

I gotta go.

Hold it!

You do like my lasagna, don't you?

Sure, I do.

Liar! Excuse me?

You were doing that thing you do when
you lie.

What thing?

Oh, like I'm gonna tell you.

I don't believe this. You've been eating
my lasagna for 11 years.

Actually, the ficus in the dining room
has been eating it.

What? But on the bright side, it's
thriving.

Are you saying I make great mulch?

Look, I just never wanted to hurt your
feeling.

Until today.

Well, I've gotten older.

My stomach's gotten weaker.

Look, I'm sorry, baby. You just don't
make it the way Mama used to.

That's because your backstabbing mother
didn't have the decency to give me the

recipe before she died.

She was run over by a car.

Well, isn't that convenient?

Look, lasagna's a tough dish.

But I love your guacamole.

I buy that at the store.

Like only you can.

So, figure out my financial mess yet?
I've been going over these invoices for

three days, and I'm confused.

The payments don't cover half of what
you've built.

That's because not everybody's paid.

Why not?

They don't have the money.

Times are tough.

A lot of my customers are struggling
just to make ends meet.

Wish I knew what that would like.

Oh, wait, I do.

They'll pay when they can.

Honey. I love that I married a guy who
wants to unclog the world's toilets for

free. But now it's time the people pay
the piper for the pipes.

It's not that easy.

I've known these people for years. I
can't just go shake them down.

You're right.

I'll do it.

You?

How are you going to do it?

Look at me. Big brown eyes, quivering
lips.

Once I tell them how our life is falling
apart, trust me, they'll pay.

No. Susan, this will never work.

Fine.

But I don't know what we're going to do.

We barely have enough money to pay our
bills this month.

The insurance is due.

God forbid MJ get in an accident.

Susan, sweetie, it's going to be okay.

You don't think it'll work?

Wow, you're scary.

Can I go get our money?

Be my guest.

Hey, hey, last year when I wanted to go
fishing but you wanted to go skiing and

you started crying... I think it's best
we don't discuss that until we're out of

this financial crisis.

I'm not scared of Sam.

If you're afraid to fire him, I'll do
it. No, I don't want to provoke him. The

man is clearly troubled.

And there's no telling how violent he
could get.

We're not intimidated.

Are we, Orson?

Just how violent are we talking?

Hey. We'll do whatever it takes to
protect Mom.

Okay. But I am in a chair. I don't know
how good I'd be in a fight. This thing

tips over in a stiff wind.

Don't worry, Orson. We'll think of
something else.

What are you doing?

Did that hurt?

No.

Well, that's all I got.

You don't need to fight, Orson. You're
more of a strategist.

Okay, fine. We don't want to fight.

Why don't we hire someone to rough him
up?

I know a couple ex -Marines.

How do you know any... Don't ask.

Hey, what about money?

What about it?

Well, if we can't fire Sam or scare him
away, maybe he'll respond to cash.

Yes, he's always talking about how he
never had anything growing up.

I think one little severance package and
we could be rid of this problem. Oh,

brilliant idea, Orson.

You call writing a check brilliant?

Anything?

Sorry. Mrs. Scalvo? Yeah?

I'm Detective Booth. This is Detective
First.

Can we come in?

Sure. What's this about?

Do you know what Irina Kosakov?

Oh. Unfortunately, yeah. And whatever
you think she did, she did.

I'm sorry?

She's a conniving, manipulative little
grifter who put my son through hell.

She's dead.

What? Are you serious?

We found her body earlier today.

She was murdered.

What's going on?

These are policemen. It's about Irina.

Oh, boy, that didn't take long.

That little bitch couldn't even get out
of the country before she was taken from

us too soon.

Is your son Preston home?

No, he's camping with his brother, but
thank you so much for coming by. He's

going to be devastated.

Actually, we're going to need to talk to
him.

Wait, you don't think he had anything to
do with this?

We found a letter that Ms. Kosnikoff had
written to him.

Sounds like things ended pretty badly
between them.

Well, yeah, he broke off the engagement,
but he wouldn't do that and then kill

her. It's an extra step. Wouldn't you
just skip the breakup and get right to

killing? Why won't you stop talking? I
want to, believe me.

Just get him in as soon as you can.

Sure. I'll call him right now.

Thank you.

I'm telling you, there's no way Preston
could have hurt that girl.

You guys should concentrate on finding
the real killer.

No, don't worry. We'll find him.

Brings back memories, huh?

I'm not doing this.

I don't expect you to start today.

I'm still waiting on one more piece.

It's not gonna happen.

Angie, there's this development in
Oregon. They're planning to clear -cut 4

acres of old growth. We gotta stop them.

And who cares if we kill a few loggers
in the process, right?

Saving the world's messy.

You used to be able to see that.

You know what I see now?

A fake.

What? You're a phony.

The only cause you ever believed in is
you.

I'm trying to save the planet. Oh, God,
you still have that ego.

I was trying to save you, too.

Oh, well, thanks for caring, but Nick
saved me, and he showed me what a coward

you really are.

Do you really want to start talking
about Nick right now, huh?

How does it feel knowing you'll never be
half the man he is?

Angie, up and up, it's Gabby.

She won't go.

I'm not going. I see your car.

You got one minute to get rid of her, or
there's going to be one less neighbor

at the block party.

Come on in.

Hey, I need a lasagna recipe for Carlos.

Hi. Hi, I'm Anthony, Angie's brother.

Oh, you never told me you had a brother.

I'm sure she hasn't told you lots of
things.

What kind of lasagna does Carlos like?
Meat?

Vegetarian? Have you seen Gorlov?

What's all this?

Somebody kill a toaster?

Angie's fixing my remote control.

Giving it a little extra power.

Oh, you know how to do that?

Sure.

She was an engineering major in college.

Well, you know, I have an appliance at
home that could use some extra power.

And once I get to know you better, I'll
tell you which one.

Got the recipe yet?

Here you go.

Oh, thanks.

What did it say?

Ten fresh tomatoes.

Can't I just use sauce from a jar?

No, you can't just use sauce from a jar.

You're right.

No one will ever know the difference.
See you later.

Nice meeting you.

Oh, and a little word of advice. Never
compare your wife to your dead mother if

you want to get laid on your birthday.

You know how to make a bomb and you
haven't used one on her yet?

I admire your restraint.

You wanted to see me, Bree?

I did.

Please, have a seat.

Did you know that Rex set up a trust
fund for Andrew and Danielle?

No, I didn't. Well, he wanted to be sure
they had a nest egg to draw from in

case something happened to him, which it
did.

Why are you telling me all this?

Well, Rex set up two trust funds.

He seems to have forgotten he had three
children.

And that's not right.

That's a lot of money.

Well, it's my way of apologizing for my
husband's poor memory.

I never expected anything like this.
Thank you. You're very welcome.

And I hope you know how much I have
appreciated the time you spent with us

the work you did.

Truly, I wish you the very best.

That sounds like a goodbye.

Well, now that you have all this money,
you don't need to work here.

A young man with your skills should feel
free to go out into the world and make

his mark.

But I like it here.

Well, unfortunately, I no longer need
you. You see, Andrew and I have made up,

and I'm giving him your job.

What?

Don't be angry. This is, after all, a
family business.

But I'm part of the family.

Not really.

What are you doing?

You can't buy me off.

I belong here.

I'm a Vandy camp.

And if you ever insult me again, you're
gonna wish you hadn't.

Excuse me. Can you take Walker?

Yeah. Hi, I'm Susan Delfino, your
plumber's wife.

Oh, hey.

Mike's done us a few salads over here.
He's a good man.

Yeah, and a proud man.

Which is why he hasn't told you that his
business is really hurting.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. So we're
going to need you to pay your bill for

work he completed four months ago. I
wish I could, but it's a bad time.

You okay?

I'm sorry.

It's just we're having a bad time, too.

We can't cover our bills and the health
insurance is due.

And God forbid our son get in an
accident.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't worry.

Kids bounce back.

Kids bounce back? That's your response?

Look, my wife lost her job. My truck
needs a new transmission.

Well, maybe we could set up a payment.
My daughter needs braces. Even if it's

just small.

Nip it.

Nip it?

That's not an excuse. That's just a
sound.

Look, lady, I don't know how to tell
you. I don't have the money, okay?

Leave me alone.

No, I'm not going to leave you alone.

You owe me money, and I'm not going to
rest until I get it.

I'm going to make sure everyone in your
life knows what a deadbeat you are. When

you go to work tomorrow, I'll be there.
When you go bowling with your buddies,

I'll be there. And when you go to the
video store to get your porn, I'll be

there. Okay, okay.

Write you a check.

Oh.

Thank you.

So, with the price of college tuition
being what it is, and my mother had that

gallbladder operation, well, we're just
a little tapped out at the moment.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

But Mike did re -pipe your entire second
floor, didn't he?

Yes, and I want to pay.

But we just don't have the money.

Oh, that's too bad.

These are awfully cute.

Yes.

My husband gives me one every year on
our anniversary.

They're my babies.

Please be careful. I don't like it when
people touch them.

Oh, well, you know what I don't like?

I don't like when people take advantage
of my husband.

It makes me feel all clumsy.

I guess I could maybe pay you half.

Oh!

Okay, the whole thing, the whole thing.
Let me get my wallet.

We'll be waiting.

I know I'm late in paying for the water
heater, but I'm on a fixed income.

There just isn't any money left at the
end of the month.

I mean, for me to even pay for my
medicines, I've had to cut down to two

day. So even though I'd like to help, I
can't.

I've got nothing.

You got a nice watch.

No cereal for dinner tonight, baby.

Mrs. Crowley paid.

Jim Peterson paid.

And the ones that couldn't pay, I took
it in booty.

A clock?

Bearing? A menorah?

Sterling Silver.

Hey, Mrs. Gottlieb has a toilet that
flushes, doesn't she?

What happened to batting your eyes and
shedding a few tears?

Playing the victim got me nowhere.

Everybody had an excuse, and I bought
it.

And then, all of a sudden, I snapped.

Rage just started pouring out of me. It
was like my inner bully had been

released. And one by one, I brought
those deadbeats to their knees.

For the first time in my life, I have
gotten a taste of power, and you know

what?

I like it.

You do know that's not a twist -off?

Yes! Ow, that hurts!

I can't tell you what a rush it is to
have this adrenaline pouring through me.

Hey, I have an idea.

Let's go upstairs right now and have
bully sex.

Susan. I said now!

We can't.

Why not?

I want to celebrate.

I brought home all this money today.

We're getting closer and closer to the
finish line.

Yeah.

Well...

The IRS just moved the finish line.

Oh, my God.

I know.

We're screwed.

You know what?

Old victim Susan might have agreed with
you, but new bully Susan is

not going to take this blinding.

The way I see it, the IRS is a
government agency. And the government

because of the taxes that we pay.

So that makes me your boss. And as your
boss, I am telling you that we need an

extension. Do I make myself clear?

I am a terrible bully.

Yes. Yes, you are.

He didn't have to tack on all those
extra penalties. Did you know they could

that? Yeah.

See, I didn't, or I never would have.
Yeah, I figured.

So what do you think we should do?

I don't know.

Between the taxes and the rest of the
bills, we're still screwed.

We've got nothing to fall back on.

Good, you're here. Come on in.

I thought you wanted to go over the
quarterly inventory.

Yes, but then some old friends dropped
by. Sam Allen, I would like you to meet

Detective Turner and Sergeant Clemente.

So, you're a policeman.

Used to be. Bree catered our retirement
parties and did an amazing job.

Boy, do we owe her big.

Sam, have a seat. Have some tea.

No, thanks. I'm not really a big tea
guy. Oh, come on. Take a load off. We

room here on the couch.

So, the officers were just sharing some
stories from their days on the floor.

Tell them the one you just told me.

About the guy who was hassling the nice
lady?

Yes, I am.

Listen to this.

This guy was so crafty.

Knew just what to say to scare the lady
without...

Technically breaking a law. Yeah. Our
hands were tied.

Nothing we could do.

That must have been so frustrating.

Go on.

Thank you.

It was very frustrating.

Of course, if we encountered the same
situation today, we'd handle it very

differently. Oh? How?

Well, we'd sit him down for a nice chat,
and if he wouldn't listen to reason,

then there are measures we could take.

Sounds like a Mickey Spillane novel.
What kind of measures?

Well, you mind?

You pick up a phone book.

Aim for the Adam Zappel.

Boom!

Let your fingers do the walking. Or,
here, help me out here.

You dislocate those two fingers and
smack them on the hand.

Pop them back in.

And there's no evidence.

Goodness, it's hard to believe you'd
actually do such a thing. Oh, if I had

I mean, if the situation came up, I
would hope that the threat would be

Absolutely.

Ma 'am, you're looking a little pale.
Would you like some more tea or perhaps

macaroon?

No, I... I mean, I... You should be
going.

Hey, do you want us to give you a ride?

I mean, we go right past 474 Ash Street.

I'm good.

I don't know why tea parties have fallen
out of fashion.

They're so much fun.

Okay, Porter, do what you can to keep
your brother's spirits up.

Drive safely.

I've got these on. Come on.

Hey, uh, Mr. Cowell?

What's with the backpack?

Yeah, I've been thinking that it might
be good if I move back home for a little

while. Why?

Irina's dead. Your family needs time to
deal with that. You don't need me

hanging around, getting in the way.

To be honest, I already think of you as
family.

Oh, come on. I've only been here a
couple of weeks.

Your first morning here, you asked if
you could take out the trash. Believe

you were in my will by three that
afternoon.

Seriously, I think you should stay.

I want to, but my mom's going to be back
from her bender any day now, and I

should be there.

Oh. That's so sweet of you.

Your mom's lucky to have a son like you.

You know, once you make sure she's okay,
you can always come back.

I don't think that's going to happen.

There's something wrong.

Did you not like it here?

No, no. It was fantastic.

I should just go. That's all.

Okay.

Well, can I give you a hug goodbye?

I can't help

thinking I would have turned out so
different if you were my mom.

mean you're moving off the lane?

You can't sell your house.

We're not selling. We're renting.

I don't care. Either way, you're not
going to be living here.

Lynette, say something.

You're very persuasive.

I don't understand why you have to do
this.

Well, we dug ourselves in pretty deep
financially.

We'll be fine. It's just going to be for
a while.

Checkbook.

No, no.

I love you for that.

But no.

We got ourselves into this. We can get
ourselves out.

Where will you go?

We found an apartment near the school.

And there's a park around the corner.

And it's close by, so we'll still be
able to see each other.

I hope so.

Because people always say that and
then... Well, I mean it.

So do we.

Ma?

Danny, what are you doing here?

What are you talking about? You texted
me. You told me to hurry home.

Oh, God, that wasn't me, Danny. Get out
of the house now.

What's going on?

Just go, Danny. Go.

What's the rush?

Remember that piece I said was missing?

It just arrived.

So I've been thinking.

What are you doing here?

You know, about what your cop friend
said about how effective threats can be.

I think they're right.

Get out.

I will.

But not before we do a little business.

What kind of business?

I want you to sign over your company to
me.

What?

I'm talking about your catering clients.

Your cookbooks, the frozen food line,
all of it.

Are you insane?

How would I do that?

Remember the dinner you threw to welcome
me to the family?

Well, Danielle had a little too much to
drink. I hear that's genetic.

Anyway, she got pretty chatty.

Kept asking me why I wanted to join a
family with so many secrets.

What did she tell you?

The same thing I'm going to tell some of
my cop friends.

And while I'm at it, I should probably
tell Carlos Solis, too.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm talking about Andrew.

Your son getting into a car and running
down Carlos' mother.

So should we drop the papers now or wait
till morning?

It's a lot to take in, I know.

I don't believe you.

Look, I'm just trying to let you know
that when you're ready, I want us to

a traditional father -son relationship.

Are you serious?

I know.

That sounded ridiculous.

And I'm sorry I had to tie you up.

Believe me, this is not how I wanted
this to happen.

But I have something important to do.
Once I'm done, I'll untie you, and we'll

have time to get to know each other.

If you ever untie me, I'll kill you!

You're mad.

I get it.

But eventually you'll realize who you're
mad at.

It's not the guy who spent 20 years
looking for you.

It's the people who spent 20 years lying
to you.

What did you say to Danny?

Just a father -son chat.

I swear, if you ever hurt him... God,
everybody makes me sound like such a

villain.

So, how's my bomb coming?

It would go a lot faster if I could use
two hands.

Well, we are on a deadline.

Not her again.

I come bearing gifts!

No!

You've got 20 seconds to get her the
hell out of here.

Oh, hey!

Sorry to barge in, but I did a test run
and I really need your opinion.

Now? Yeah, this has to be the best
lasagna in the world, so when I shove it

Carlos' throat, he'll know I care.

Sure, try it later.

Thanks for stopping by.

Oh, I'm not going.

She won't go.

Let me just cut it.

Two seconds.

Don't forget, Danny's waiting for you.

Be right back, Amber.

Well, I can tell you this much. It
smells great.

This is my first magazine cover.

Oh, this is me when I did Vogue.

Oh, that's my daughter Juanita. I don't
know how that got in there.

Oh, and now the runway here.

Angie, you're keeping your friend
waiting.

Be right there.

I'm about to kill your neighbor.

You might want to get her out of here.

Gabby, I gotta hand it to you. You did a
great job.

Really? You're not just saying that. Oh,
fantastic.

But would you mind taking the rest back?

I'm just trying to watch my weight.

I get it.

Trying to cut out all the crappy food.

Mrs. Bowman like the lasagna?

Well, she said she did, and then she
pretended she was on a diet.

Well,

I guess I can take a hint.

Honey, do you really think this is the
time to be cleaning out your purse?

Your son is being interrogated for
murder. I have a lot of rage in me.

rather I channel it into this or you?

I put the emergency tampon in the zipper
pouch.

Thank you.

Press, how'd it go?

I just wanted to confirm the timeline. I
was in Europe this past year.

That's it?

I guess they think the guy who killed
all those girls while I was gone is the

same one who strangled Irina.

Oh, thanks. Thank God. So you're free
and clear?

You okay?

I just keep thinking Irina would still
be alive if I hadn't brought her here.

I'll meet you at the car.

Sweetie, when... Mom, let him go.

This whole thing has really hit him
hard.

How about Porter and I take him out? She
had a few games at pool. See if he

wants to talk.

Okay, I'll see you back at home.

Do you hear they found a second body in
the woods?

They think it's some local woman,
Barbara Orlovsky.

Orlovsky?

Isn't that that woman we throw in the
drunk tank about once a month?

I'm not sure.

Oh, my

God, what are you doing?

We were hungry.

So you picked it out of the trash?

You're worse than raccoons.

Sorry.

Well, since you had some, what'd you
think?

Oh, yeah? Well, the French toast you
made me for Mother's Day wasn't so hot

either.

Eddie.

Scabba.

What are you doing here?

Oh, sweetie.

It's about your mom.

Look, I know you're worried she's drunk
somewhere in an alley, but you can

relax. I just spoke to her.

You just spoke to her?

Yeah, like a half hour ago.

She's at my Uncle Pete's in Florida.

In fact, I was just getting ready to fly
down there.

We're going to try to check her into
rehab.

So, if you don't mind.

Oh, thank God.

They must have gotten the name wrong.

What are you talking about?

Oh, um... Well, I was just at the police
station with Preston. They found...

Another body, and they said it was your
mom's.

Oh.

But... You just talked to her, right?

They made a mistake.

You didn't just talk to her.

And your mom's not in Florida, is she?

I really wish she hadn't come here.

People make choices every day.

And those choices are what define us.

Some of us choose to be loyal, though
we're angry and hurt.

Some of us choose to be brave, though
we're frightened out of our minds.

Others choose to strike out when they
could have walked away.

But what about those... Poor people who
were trapped by circumstance.

What happens to those who have no
choices left?