Original subtitles

"Boy!"

"Boy!"

"I came home and brightened the place"

"Get up, lower the bass and increase the beat"

"Celebrate my arrival with fire clapping, and ululations"

- "I am El Kabeer" - "He is El Kabeer"

"Money, arms, power and an army of 3000 men''

"A hundred times stronger than a bear I roar like a lion"

"As proud as an eagle sly like a fox"

"Mix all of these together and you will have El Kabeer"

- "A dangerous mix" - "A dangerous mix"

"I drank camel milk as a kid not formula or juice"

"That's why I am tough, rough and dangerous"

"Professional PlayStation gamer and can beat any small kid"

- "Or a big kid" - "Or a big kid"

"I can rule any people no matter how many"

"It doesn't matter if they are rich or poor"

"Even if they are scholars, illiterates, or college kids"

"They have to obey me or they will disappear''

"Objection!"

"Yeah"

"Yeah"

"Come on! I really love this country like the fat kid loves the cake"

"And I'll be the new Mayor please just give yourself a break"

"You can't even battle me one on one Mr. Fake"

"My rap is like an ocean while your rap is like a lake"

"Please talk to me in Arabic if you don't mind brother"

"Don't mimic Eminem 50 Cent or Soulja Boy"

"If we compared our Rap to the breeds of dogs"

"mine would be Pitbull and yours will be a stray called Roy"

- "Listen, El Kabeer" - "No, you shut up and listen"

"I am a knight and can lift heavier than you can"

"No way you can beat me no matter how hard you try"

"Even in the Rap challenge I'll always have the final word"

"An apple tastes bitter when you eat it after chocolate"

''End of story!''

"Boy!"

"Episode 14"

Yes, Mr. Owais

I finished the paperwork with the lawyer we only need the signature

Kabeer! Kabeer!

No, we said the meter is worth 400 pounds

- Listen, Kabeer - You know how you are...

you know how valuable to me you are

Hear me out!

You're like my late father

Look, you bring the guys and let's gather on Thursday

and hopefully God will grant us whatever is good for us

I mean... have a good day

Kabeer!

I was talking to the man who wants to buy the land...

which I've been struggling to sell

and you were jumping around like a monkey! What do you want?

Take a guess, tell me who is coming today?

Who could it be? Santa Clause?

- Mrs. Samantha! - Mrs. Samantha?

- Who's Mrs. Samantha? - You didn't know her?

No, I remember the name but I can't remember how she looks

Mrs. Samantha Kabeer, your mother!

My mother?

We will be in big trouble!

Help us, God, help us, God!

- Is there something, Kabeer? - And what is it to you?

I see you're not yourself

- Do I look this worried? - Don't worry, Kabeer...

Mrs. Samantha is sweet like honey

Where do you know her from? Where have you seen her before?

I've never seen her, Kabeer

I know her from what El Kabeer Awi used to say about her

he used to say that she's a sweet woman like milky cream

- cream! - Who are you talking about, senile?

It wasn't me, Kabeer El Kabeer Awi used to say that

Alright, stick it on the man because he's dead, where can I find him now?

- Get out of my face! - Alright, I'll go to these nice people

Come here, Sam

- this is the house - Of course I know it

but I like the new style here

are you planning on making a Chinese corner and Japanese corner up there?

Nice idea, I never thought about that actually, right now it's split between us...

my half... and El Kabeer's half

this is...

Let me figure out who El Kabeer is by myself

Okay

You're El Kabeer!

Look at the beauty and the height!

Unbelievable!

You're really so handsome

It's not him, Sam it's the one beside him

Okay, you're cute too I wasn't just saying that

Here's my son look how cute you are!

How did you get this handsome? You won't believe this...

he was the ugliest baby in the world he had a mustache and big eyebrows

but I like your new style of mustache and eyebrows

Thank you, God, thank you so much you made this wish come true

I thought I would never see him again

how are you, my love?

What is this? Does he not speak or what? Is there something?

No, Sam, he only screams but his battery might be empty or something!

- And who is this beauty? - She's his wife, Hadeya

Hadeya!

- How are you? How you doing? - I'm good, mother-in-law

No way, Jabir!

I miss you so much!

Did you get old or what?

Imagine this, he was a marriage witness when I married El Kabeer Awi

Sam, I miss you!

Ashly, darling!

Gorgeous!

Al Mazareeta did you so well

but what are these pimples on your face?

- Sam? - You too?

Are you always following him?

You won't believe this, guys...

even in America he was at our house all the time!

- Johnny - Calm down, Sam, calm down

it's just the way he is he is clingy, I'm joking with you, I'm joking!

Let's go to the room so you can have a shower, go to my room

- Jabir, take her bags to my room - Why to your room?

You'll like its style look at our style here and look at theirs

No, I want to go to El Kabeer Awi's room

No! Not El Kabeer Awi's room

What is this? He talks after all!

No one will sleep in El Kabeer Awi's room at all

- end of discussion! - I'm not just anybody

I was his wife and I'm your mother too

I mean the room has been locked up for a while

- it may smell bad - Okay, I'll open it and sleep in it

Jabir, please take the bags upstairs

- see you - See you

- What is this? - I swear it's a pleasure to have you

Thank you, thank you very much

Dig in, don't be shy I cooked this myself

I just have one small question...

- what is this green thing? - This is molokheya with coriander

- What is this thing walking on top? - This is coriander

look, forget about the molokheya start with the trotters' soup, you'll like it

- What soup? - Trotters

- What does that mean? - Calf's trotters

What are these weird things that you eat?

Alright, excuse us now, let's go

Where are you going? Are you not going to eat with us?

How do you want them to eat with us? They have houses to go and eat in

No, they have to eat with us sit down, Jabir

Alright, I'll have some food

- And you? What is your name? - Your servant, Fazzaa

Come here, Fazzaa sit down beside me

Should I sit down, Kabeer?

Who are you asking? When I say sit beside me, you sit straight away!

As you command

- Sit down! - Do you want molokheya or trotters?

- Or do you want Kishk? - No, I'll eat whatever El Kabeer's eating

- is this chicken, Kabeer? - Yes, it's! What else could it be? Penguin?

- Well, can you give me some? - Alright

- What? Will you pick it up with you hand? - Well, will I pick it with my foot?

Did no one teach you how to eat?

Well, how am I still alive? On the drips?

- Did they teach you to eat with your hands? - Well, why did God give us hands then?

To hit and eat with them

Who eats with his hands isn't a human, he's an animal!

Listen here, lady I'm barely holding myself back

- I swear... - Calm down, you impolite rude animal!

How dare you talk to me like that? I'm your mother!

And when you talk to me you have to talk with respect, understood?

- But... - But what, boy?

I've been eating with my hands my whole life

Because you're an animal! From now on you should eat with a fork and knife

- I don't know how - You'll learn

- After all of those years! - Will you disobey me or what, boy?

I said it from now on, you'll eat with a fork and knife

- understood? - This is unfair!

By the way, I won't eat!

How could you, mother-in-law? How could you make him leave the table sad?

That's better when he gets hungry, he'll come and eat

Ma'am?

Mrs. Samantha?

Where did she go?

- Who are you talking about, Kabeer? - My mother, I mean Mrs. Samantha

Your mother she went out early in the morning

- she went to wander around in the village - How did you let her leave alone, donkey?

What? You told me yesterday not to get near her at all!

- You should have told me - You were asleep

Wake me up, genius! God, save us from scandals!

Come with me she might me be getting a tan near the swamp

Why would she get it there? She could have sent me to get it for her

Donkey getting a tan means sun tanning

they rub oil and sit... come with me!

What is this?

- Is the village on holiday or what? - No, Kabeer

Where are the people then?

- Good... - You have one tea over here

- Hi, Kooki - Don't say Kooki!

Why? You're my baby I can give you a nickname

It's alright, it's alright we'll talk at home, get up

We'll talk here, I won't leave now

- I beg you, you can't sit here - Why not?

This place is only for men a woman can't sit here

Call me "lady" not "woman"! Everybody is free...

everybody can sit wherever they want and do whatever they want

- But... - End of discussion!

But, ma'am, the men around here...

have roving eyes, it's not good if one of them looks at you in an inappropriate manner

- Do you think so? - Yes!

- Okay, Zuhair! - Yes!

Tell me, my lady!

- Give me the check, please! - What check, ma'am?

You're the precious one's mother!

- How are you, Hadeya? - I'm fine, mother-in-law!

- Where is Kabeer? - He's not here

would you like me to bring you food or would you like to have seeds?

Don't you talk about anything else but food, dear?

Now, tell me, Hadeya! Are the ladies in this village all like that?

- Like how, exactly? - I went on a tour around...

and didn't see any lady

The ladies around here are not to be seen you only hear about them

You mean that they all wear black and cover their hair

Of course, they are ladies!

Of course, not! They are not ladies!

This one is a lady, look!

No, this one is a singer

This singer, doesn't she fall under a category?

She's a lady, and a very beautiful one too

Do you mean that I'm ugly, mother-in-law?

No, dear! You're so beautiful!

But you cover your beauty with so many things

- How? - With all of this, look!

Dear, a lady should feel herself as one

If she's not to be seen she should be recognized by her scent

I wear toilette water!

Toilette water, you say!

Dear, my son's wife should be stylish

Wow, she should give the wow feeling

can you tell me when was the last time you took care of your hair?

No, mother-in-law! You can talk about anything but my hair

I brush it daily, and every week I get a hair mask from the apothecary

one which you can only find at Al Mazareeta's apothecary shop

it has kerosene, olive oil and pigeon's feces

Pigeon's feces!

- What does pigeon's feces mean? - It's the waste that comes out of pigeons

Oh, gross! Okay, I got it!

Put this away and come with me

- Where to? - Come!

Where to, mother-in-law?

I can't do this except on Thursday, Mr. Owais!

Before then, the house would be in a total mess!

No, it's messy in my house and...

and needs to be organized

Give me a minute

Can I help you?

Are you the friend of Samantha? You're American!

Yes, Mr. Owais!

Listen to me...

What do you mean tomorrow? Tomorrow is no good

tomorrow is no good

Alright, let it be tomorrow goodbye now

Listen, do you speak Arabic?

I am El Kabeer, the king of the house and Al Mazareeta

would you like to see the swamp?

There's no one in the mango fields

- let's go there and enjoy ourselves - Kabeer!

It's my wife!

Hurry, hurry!

Give me your number and call me back

- Kabeer! - Hurry, before my dumb wife comes!

Enough, Kabeer!

Hadeya! Cover yourself, girl!

Cover yourself! Cover yourself, girl!

It's not my fault! Mrs. Samantha is the one who did this to me

and said that I should look beautiful so that you'd like me

I already like you otherwise, why would I marry you?

This's the stuff that we got from America

nudist beaches and getting tattoos and things like that

Are you like a cow, go wherever they take you? Don't you have a brain?

Take what suits you as an Arabic girl from their culture

would an Arabic girl sit wearing a lingerie in the middle of the house?

No one is in the house, Kabeer! They are all out

- What do you mean? - Mrs. Samantha, God bless her...

took them all out so we can make ourselves comfortable together

Does that mean that the house is totally empty?

- Yes, Kabeer! - It's totally empty, right?

Totally empty!

Excellent! This means that I can watch Spacetoon as I please

- No, Kabeer! That's not acceptable! - People! Stop screaming, what is it?

If you talk all together, we won't be able to hear each other

- Look, Kabeer! - Tell me, Mr. Owais!

- In conclusion... - Hi, Kooki! Do you have guests?

Hi, my name is Samantha what's your name?

How about you? And you!

What a nice mustache!

What is it, Kooki? Why aren't they talking?

What's up with you?

What's up?

Anyway, look! I should go upstairs and pack my bags for I'm leaving

Bye!

She's our guest, Mr. Johnny's guest...

my brother, the new mayor

she came from America and she kind of speaks like that

this's the result of the things America dumped on us!

Those two days you spent here with us, Mrs. Samantha...

went by with the blink of an eye I hope you visit us again

Thank you so much, Jabir! I really enjoyed these two days a lot

but I don't know when I will visit Egypt again

Alright, I'll go get your bags from El Kabeer Awi's room

excuse me, Mrs. Samantha!

There are still two days left before the plane comes from Sharm Al-Shaikh, Sam!

During these two days I'm going on a tour in Sharm Al-Shaikh

I've never seen it and they say that it's so beautiful

- Goodbye, mother-in-law! - Hadeya!

- I need to ask something from you - What, dear?

Please, don't be mad at El Kabeer he's kind and he loves you so much

- but he doesn't show it - I know

Why are you wearing this again?

He didn't like it, and he said if I wear that again, he'll divorce me

What a moron! Anyway...

I'll speak with you on the internet all the time and I'll tell you how to deal with him

- Okay! - We'll miss you, Sam!

I'll miss you all too, my darlings!

- Johnny! - Mama!

These goodbye moments don't suit me!

You've always been sensitive and emotional, my baby!

- I love you, mama! - I love you too!

Take care!

- Sam... - Put your hands away, you animal...

do you think I'm your friend or something?

Listen to me...

don't even think about touching the chocolates I brought for Johnny!

- Do you understand? - Goodbye, mother-in-law! May God protect you

- Bye to you all, bye! - Bye!

- We love you! - I love you too!

We won't pay more than that what do you say, men?

- That's true, Mr. Owais! - In conclusion, Kabeer...

- that now we are... - Say goodbye to me since I'm leaving, Kooki!

Get up, say goodbye!

Goodbye, ma'am!

What is this? Aren't you going to hug your dear mother?

Is that possible, Kooki? Won't you miss your mother?

Bye, bye, darling! I will miss you so much!

I'll miss you too, ma'am! May God keep you safe

See you, guys!

Let's go, men!

What is it, Mr. Owais?

Do we need to tell you what it is? You know well what it is

- What about the contract and the lunch? - What contract? Goodbye!

- Let's go, men! I can't believe it! - Mr. Owais!

What does it have to do with me, Mr. Owais? Can a man choose his mother?

Let me tell you something just hear me out!

I've never seen that woman before that time

Well then, for the sake of your best friend El Kabeer Awi...

give me a chance to explain everything to you

when?

The day after tomorrow, as you say

I'll be honored to have you goodbye, goodbye

Hi, Kooki!

- Who's this? - He's my husband

My name is Hamada Al Siaha and I have a lot of money

I'm the owner of a tour company in Sharm Al-Shaikh and Hurghada

Nice to meet you!