Original subtitles

"Boy!"

"Boy!"

"I came home and brightened the place"

"Get up, lower the bass and increase the beat"

"Celebrate my arrival with fire clapping, and ululations"

- "I am El Kabeer" - "He is El Kabeer"

"Money, arms, power and an army of 3000 men''

"A hundred times stronger than a bear I roar like a lion"

"As proud as an eagle sly like a fox"

"Mix all of these together and you will have El Kabeer"

- "A dangerous mix" - "A dangerous mix"

"I drank camel milk as a kid not formula or juice"

"That's why I am tough, rough and dangerous"

"Professional PlayStation gamer and can beat any small kid"

- "Or a big kid" - "Or a big kid"

"I can rule any people no matter how many"

"It doesn't matter if they are rich or poor"

"Even if they are scholars, illiterates, or college kids"

"They have to obey me or they will disappear''

"Objection!"

"Yeah"

"Yeah"

"Come on! I really love this country like the fat kid loves the cake"

"And I'll be the new Mayor please just give yourself a break"

"You can't even battle me one on one Mr. Fake"

"My rap is like an ocean while your rap is like a lake"

"Please talk to me in Arabic if you don't mind brother"

"Don't mimic Eminem 50 Cent or Soulja Boy"

"If we compared our Rap to the breeds of dogs"

"mine would be Pitbull and yours will be a stray called Roy"

- "Listen, El Kabeer" - "No, you shut up and listen"

"I am a knight and can lift heavier than you can"

"No way you can beat me no matter how hard you try"

"Even in the Rap challenge I'll always have the final word"

"An apple tastes bitter when you eat it after chocolate"

''End of story!''

"Boy!"

"Episode 12"

Hey! What's up?

- Hi! - Ashly!

- I miss you, baby! How are you? - I miss you, too

- I'm good - How's Cairo?

You won't believe it It's so crowded!

Ashly, did you get the thing?

What do you mean by this? Why don't you say gifts?

We all know that she went to get gifts

- Here he comes! - The goods are here!

What "Thing" and "Goods"? What is inside these teddy bears?

No, no, there's nothing inside just cotton!

- I'm sure! I'm sure! - Hagras, go and get the rest

- Ok, pardon! - Come here!

- What's on your back? - Oh my God!

- Is this a birth defect? - No!

- It's a hunch! - Poor thing!

Does your grandmother have the same hunch?

- No, just me - What are you saying?

How could you believe him? Is there such a hunch?

Are you laughing, idiot?

Did you steal from me? Did you steal from the man who made you?

It isn't about having blond hair

wearing catchy clothes, copying me all the time by doing this...

no, no!

it's about what you really are! If you want to copy me, go ahead!

But copy my peace, goodness and love

I'm really shocked!

I don't want to see you ever again!

- Hagras, wait! - Yes?

I promise you if you'll really change...

this bear will be yours!

I promise you that I'll change!

Words are not enough! They're not enough, Hagras! I want actions

Till then, I don't want to see you again!

- Say that you forgive me! - Go!

Guys, we want to get the store ready fast!

You're right Valentine's Day is just a week ahead

we need to arrange these bears in the store so that people can pick their gifts

did you get a gift for your boyfriend? What was his name? Thomas?

- Focas? What was his name? - Lucas!

Anyway, what did you get him?

Because his zodiac sign is Leo I got him flowers, chocolate and a lion toy

- I think they're both morons - What?

No, I mean Thomas and Hagras

- Ok - Anyway, how is he a Leo? I saw him

I think, at least, his Chinese zodiac sign is lizard or shrimp!

Come on, man! Everything about him says that he's a lion

- his personality, his moves, his walk... - And tail!

- Do you know what? I feel sorry for Hagras - What?

Was I so harsh?

Honestly, I think we should have send him to El Kabeer to electrify him

It wasn't his fault he's just a victim of his surroundings

maybe, he was raised among a low-life family and learnt some bad habits from his dad

- so, it's not his fault! - If you think so, go and talk to him

You're right! And I can catch him if he's hiding something else in his underpants

Hagras!

"Johnny Gift Shop"

What a beautiful day!

- Hello, Mayor! - Hello!

Do you have something in mind? Or do you want to enter and have a look?

- I want you to pick it for me - What's your type?

- Diarrhea - That's gross!

I mean what you like not what you have

I have diarrhea, sir!

So, would you please give me Pepto-Bismol or so?

- Isn't this a pharmacy? - Why do you think it's a pharmacy?

The pharmacy symbol is well-known a viper has a hangover and vomits in a cup

so, where is this symbol here?

How did you see it as a pharmacy with all those teddy bears?

- What is it then? - It's a gift shop

It's Valentin's day happy Valentine's day!

Gift? What gift?

It's still too early for the holidays!

You idiot, 14th February is Valentine's day which is a couple of days ahead

every man in this village should come here to buy a gift...

a teddy bear or flowers for his wife

to express his love and feeling for her in Valentin's day!

So, instead of getting her some fruits or meat...

you want me to get her a teddy bear! That's a shame!

I'll give you a piece of advice

close this shop you're not a teenager anymore!

God, give us wisdom!

He's so gloomy!

It's a beautiful day for real!

- It's ok, Johnny! - He made me depressed!

It's ok, man, we have to focus people will finish their jobs soon...

and come here for sure

to take their teddy bears!

So weird! So weird!

I wish we opened a Koshary store instead

no one here knows what Valentin's day is!

And they'll never know! Not even in a million years!

Listen, Johnny the shop is really amazing

but we need to work on the marketing

How?

"Johnny Gift Shop"

I want to ask you a quick question and I want you to answer instantly

can you live without love?

If your husband can't look you in the face that means, he wants you to show him love

Or if your wife is ignoring you that means, she wants you to be romantic

Valentin's day is your only chance!

"If you think that romance only exists in movies"

you are so wrong!

With Johnny Gift Shop movies will be real!

- A gift for your wife... - Will change your life

The mayor gets really silly! He wants us to get gifts for our wives

Oh my God! Does he want me to go home with a teddy bear in my hand?

Kids will mock me to death!

Yes! I'll hold a teddy bear then, I'll have a long hair

after that, I'll put on some lipstick and walk like a girl!

Get out of my sight, boy!

''Think about your man and he'll be like a ring around your finger''

"Johnny Gift Shop for brilliant ideas and heated romance"

- Good day! - Good day!

Tell me, Kabeer what is Valentine?

Is this a new trend in the village?

It is the tenth time someone asks me about this?

The Valentin's day is an American trait and they want us to stick to it

listen, Hadeya, on this day people get up and wear disgraceful clothes

they behave in a disgraceful way all day and text each other disgraceful massages, too

then, they go to buy and wrap a disgraceful gift

finally, at night, they all gather and do disgraceful things

Oh my God!

What's wrong, Hadeya? Your massage worried me

- I want to ask you a question now - Go ahead!

What is this so-called Valentine?

Why are you lowering your voice?

I'm afraid that it's something disgraceful

No, it's not!

Lower your voice! We don't want any scandal!

What scandal? Valentin's day is the day of love, Hadeya!

That's what I understood from the T.V advertisement

but El Kabeer told me that it's something disgraceful

Disgraceful? How?

This is a day in which the man and his wife celebrate their love

I mean, they would say kind words to each other and have a romantic dinner or so!

But El Kabeer has never done any of that to me

Because you certainly weren't expressing your feelings towards him

you have to express your feelings in so many ways

like buying him a gift! Your name means gift, by the way!

Is it important to get him a gift?

- Can I give him money instead? - Money?

- Good day, Madam! - Good day!

- Is El Kabeer with you, Fazzaa? - No, he's not

but he sent me to get him some bullets from his office

- because his ammo ran out - Ok, go upstairs

- you'll find the bullets in the last drawer - As you command!

- Ok, continue! - Listen, Hadeya, gifts reflect love

no matter how much this gift is simple it means a lot to the man and his wife

Fazzaa!

What's wrong with you?

- Yes, Mrs. Hadeya? - What are you doing here?

I'm bringing some mango to my darling

What mango? Weren't you supposed to take bullets?

Yes, yes, I mean bullets, madam! I mean bullets!

What mango are you talking about? The mango season is still far

- get up now! - As you command!

- Welcome home, Kabeer! - Thanks

come on, girl! Prepare the dinner for me

As you wish, Kabeer as you wish!

What? Are you deaf or what? Where's the food?

- It's ready, Kabeer! - Then where is it?

It's just that I want to tell you something...

What?

- Look me in the eyes! - What's going on, woman?

- Look closely! - Yes!

Are you trying to hypnotize me?

I love you so much, Kabeer!

I love you from the bottom of my heart!

And I can't live without you!

Come on, now say something nice to me!

As you wish! but you know I'm shy so...

- turn around for a bit - Ok!

Go, you slipper, you...

prepare the dinner, woman!

- So, what happened? - He hit me with his slipper!

- What? Why? - He was hungry and wanted to have dinner!

- I'm sure you did something wrong, Hadeya! - I swear I didn't!

I did everything you told me to do!

Then, did he just hit you without saying anything first?

No, he asked me to turn around first then he hit me with his slipper

Ok, I know what kind of a man he is!

This kind loves surprises!

I'll help you set up a valentine night he will never forget!

Ok!

Mr. Jaidy! Mr. Jaidy!

Shut up, you'll expose us, you shoe!

- How did you know who I am? - How can I not?

We see each other everyday!

What brought you here? Didn't you say you won't celebrate?

Haven't you also said that you won't wear red and sit at home like a woman...

and that you'll stand against this celebration?

I wouldn't have come here if it wasn't so urgent, sir!

What happened? Is your wife frowny like an owl too?

And she's making your life miserable...

for this valentine thing?

Yes, how did you know?

I came here for the exact same reason, you fool!

But my wife was also screaming and hitting herself, it was a terrible night!

So I thought I should work things out the easy way and just get her a present!

You're right, sir God protect you from the feminine wiles!

I hope so!

Zuhair, I didn't see you and you didn't see me either, do you get it?

Don't mention it, don't mention it, sir! Your secret is safe with me, Mr. Jaidy!

You're a shoe, a shoe, a shoe!

- Hello! - What? Fazzaa, what a lovely surprise!

- I'm so happy you came! - Seriously? Are you happy?

Of course I am, because all people of Mazareeta came here to celebrate valentine!

I hope you become more and more happy, Miss Ashly!

Tell you what, Miss Ashly I want to get a present...

Is it for your girlfriend?

No, she's not my girlfriend yet...

but after today I want her to be!

I want to give her the present and say nice things to each other

Great! Well done, Fazzaa!

This's a great time to do it!

- Did you choose something? - No, you choose for me...

you're the first lady of choosing!

Choose me a great present you have a great taste!

- Ok, what does she like? - She's like you...

she likes music...

- Doesn't she like something else? - I have no idea!

I don't know much about her...

but she's like you

Ok, I'll pick something for you

- Do you want me to wrap it for you? - No, wrap what?

I'm telling you, she's so tender! She doesn't do drugs!

What drugs? I want to wrap a present for you!

If you want to, then wrap it

- Do you want a card with it? - No, she has a post-paid phone

- You're a big donkey! - Thank you very much!

Go, now, Fazzaa and I'll prepare everything you want!

- Bye! - Bye!

We almost finished now listen, Hadeya, like we agreed...

romantic dinner, sweet-talk give him the present...

while you're saying in a very romantic way, happy valentine...

sorry, baby, happy love day to the best thing in my life!

- Wow! - And if he didn't get emotional...

- file for divorce, immediately! - God forbid, what divorce!

Tell me, Ashly do you think these things will make him happy?

These things make any man happy!

But don't stay shy! Open your eyes to the world around you!

- Life is beautiful, girl, ok? - Ok!

Perfect! Let's go!

I forgot to tell you, don't serve him all food at once because he'll sleep if you do!

- One meal at a time - I just hope he'll be happy!

- Don't worry, good luck! - You too!

- What? - Nothing, I just forgot my cell phone!

What? Fazzaa? What are you doing in my room?

Happy valentine, lady of all!

Happy valentine day!

So?

Weren't you the one who told me that women love surprises?

What do you want now?

Honestly, Miss Ashly, you're not a stranger...

since you came to the village you light it like the moon...

and I don't know what got into me?

I can't sleep day or night...

- Are you ok? Do you have a fever or something? - No, lady of all, because of you...

I can't stop thinking of you...

you're always on my mind!

when I eat or drink...

when I grow and harvest and hold my phone

you're always on my mind, lady of all!

- Miss Ashly, I... - You what? Say it already!

I love you, Miss Ashly I love you!

Oh, my God, Fazzaa I'm shocked!

I was hoping this day won't ever come!

Listen, Fazzaa, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but...

- I got a boyfriend in America - What?

I'm with someone!

What do you mean by that? Are you married?

No, I'm not married but...

I love someone in America look, this's Lucas

- Is this Lucas? He's naked! - Yes!

"If you really loved someone..."

"you'd have faced everything for him!"

"You wouldn't have left my heart wounded in front of all people!"

"If your heart was still pure..."

"you wouldn't have judged an innocent person!"

"And wouldn't have left my heart drowning alone in the dark!"

"I've had enough of you!"

"I was wrong by being faithful to you!"

"I knew you weren't mine!"

"It was a really big shock for me!"

"Your betrayal was bitter!"

"If you loved me you'd have sacrificed for me!"

"You wouldn't have hurt my feelings!"

"You'd have pity me when I was weak!"

"You'd would have stood by me when I broke down!"

- Oh, Kabeer! - I've been calling you for an hour, donkey!

- Were you dreaming or what? - No, I was breaking down, Kabeer!

Breaking down! Breaking down!

- Where is Hadeya? - Kabeer!

Stay inside the room go!

And you get out of here, moody!

Be optimistic next time!

What are you wearing you stupid, dump woman!

There are men in the house!

There is nobody but us in the house, Kabeer!

Fazzaa was just here!

But he left!

Stop thinking about him and focus on me!

- I have a surprise for you! - What?

Do you know that I also have a surprise for you?

- Tell me, first! - No, you tell me, first!

I hope I die if you didn't tell me first!

Stop annoying me, woman or I'll slap you and split you in half!

Then, let's enter the room!

- Is the surprise in the room? - Yes!

But close your eyes first!

Oh, no! Fire! Fire!

I prepared you a night...

a very special night!

And I got you a present

and I made you a delicious dinner to let you know how much I love you!

But it's all gone now! The present got on fire!

The room got on fire!

And the red lipstick is ruined!

That's enough, Hadeya don't cry!

That's enough, woman!

I told you to stop! Stop!

- What's wrong with you? - Ok!

- Hadeya - Yes!

Don't you want to know what's the surprise I have for you?

What is it?

I got you the new X-box game!

I can't believe it, Kabeer!

- Is this for the valentine? - No!

- This's for you! - God bless you, Kabeer!

I hope we never be apart

Aren't you going to say something nice to me?

Actually, I'm not ready!

But for you, I'll try!

What, Kabeer? Are you going to sing?

- I want you to say something nice to me - I will...

but turn around because I'm shy!

- Ok, are you going to hit me? - No!

I love you, cow!