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Previously on
The Mindy Project...
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00:00:03,215 --> 00:00:05,689
You know you're
right for someone
when they force you
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00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:07,660
to be the best version
of yourself.
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00:00:07,729 --> 00:00:08,789
I love you.
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00:00:08,933 --> 00:00:10,460
I think I'm ready
to move in.
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00:00:10,671 --> 00:00:11,800
This one is positive.
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00:00:11,875 --> 00:00:12,866
I am really pregnant.
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00:00:12,945 --> 00:00:13,971
We're a family.
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00:00:14,651 --> 00:00:15,950
I have started
my own business.
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00:00:16,022 --> 00:00:17,492
The Lahiri
Fertility Clinic.
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00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:20,832
It's not weird
to want your boyfriend
to get down on one knee
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00:00:20,903 --> 00:00:23,308
and to meet your parents
and to get you a ring.
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00:00:23,378 --> 00:00:25,510
I've done it.
I've been married and
it didn't go so well.
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00:00:25,585 --> 00:00:26,576
It means...
15
00:00:26,655 --> 00:00:29,494
It just...
Marriage means nothing.
It means something to me.
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00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:30,897
Yes?
17
00:00:30,968 --> 00:00:33,203
You don't come to
the wedding and then
Dr. Castellano doesn't come.
18
00:00:33,275 --> 00:00:35,578
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait. Wait. Danny's
not at the wedding?
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00:00:35,649 --> 00:00:40,061
If I could stand up mean
For the things that I believe
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00:00:47,252 --> 00:00:49,885
I'm Danny Castellano,
and I'm in love
with your daughter.
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00:00:50,629 --> 00:00:51,791
I'm the father
of her baby,
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00:00:51,899 --> 00:00:53,564
and I need you to know
that I will love them
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00:00:53,638 --> 00:00:55,269
and take care of them
until the day I die.
24
00:00:56,514 --> 00:00:57,540
But I don't
believe in marriage.
25
00:00:57,618 --> 00:01:01,061
Due to some personal
experiences I've had,
26
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:02,496
which I won't
get into now.
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00:01:04,472 --> 00:01:06,809
My father ran out on us.
And my wife cheated on me.
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00:01:06,980 --> 00:01:08,280
Father Mike says
it's because
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00:01:08,384 --> 00:01:09,513
I didn't pray enough
as a kid,
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00:01:09,588 --> 00:01:11,617
and I was too busy,
"Applying the handbrake,"
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00:01:11,694 --> 00:01:12,720
if that translates.
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00:01:14,102 --> 00:01:15,971
So if we're good,
Mr. Lahiri,
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00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:17,774
I'm gonna head
back to New York.
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00:01:17,847 --> 00:01:19,580
I don't think India
really agrees with me.
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00:01:19,887 --> 00:01:22,486
I am servant.
No English.
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00:01:22,562 --> 00:01:24,158
- What?
- Is there a problem?
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00:01:24,234 --> 00:01:25,636
I'm Tarun Lahiri.
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00:01:26,741 --> 00:01:28,542
No.
There's no problem.
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00:01:28,614 --> 00:01:29,742
I, um...
40
00:01:30,052 --> 00:01:33,153
I'm Mindy's co-worker.
41
00:01:33,229 --> 00:01:36,068
And I'm here
just sightseeing.
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00:01:36,772 --> 00:01:38,300
You know,
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00:01:38,378 --> 00:01:40,908
Taj Mahal,
Temple of Doom,
greatest hits.
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00:01:40,986 --> 00:01:42,046
Are you Morgan?
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00:01:42,123 --> 00:01:43,855
At last we meet!
46
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,326
Uh, no, no, sir.
47
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,396
Share this mango with me.
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00:01:47,473 --> 00:01:49,810
No, I'm... I'm not Morgan.
I'm Dr. Danny Castellano.
49
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,787
Morgan has never once
forgotten my birthday.
50
00:01:52,856 --> 00:01:55,422
Last year he sent me
a poster of the Rat Pack.
51
00:01:56,133 --> 00:01:58,231
Where are you staying,
Dr. Castellano?
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00:01:58,507 --> 00:02:00,479
I'm, uh...
I'm just, uh...
53
00:02:00,547 --> 00:02:02,211
Just staying, you know,
just walking the street.
54
00:02:02,285 --> 00:02:03,516
Walking around.
Nonsense.
55
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,025
You will come
and stay with us.
56
00:02:05,094 --> 00:02:06,929
Oh, no. Mr. Lahiri,
I couldn't.
57
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,767
Is our home beneath you?
58
00:02:09,709 --> 00:02:12,148
Absolutely not.
Come in. Leave your bag.
59
00:02:13,955 --> 00:02:14,946
Okay.
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00:02:17,031 --> 00:02:20,132
Morgan, if Danny
isn't at Peter's wedding,
then where is he?
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00:02:21,277 --> 00:02:22,873
Oh, God.
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00:02:22,950 --> 00:02:25,253
Hold on. Hold on.
Just relax.
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00:02:25,925 --> 00:02:28,057
Okay?
Don't jump to conclusions.
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00:02:28,299 --> 00:02:30,134
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
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00:02:30,205 --> 00:02:32,109
What's the worst thing
that could happen?
66
00:02:32,178 --> 00:02:34,378
Dr. C met another woman
and fell in love with her
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00:02:34,452 --> 00:02:35,513
and he's with her now.
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00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,025
Oh, God!
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00:02:37,997 --> 00:02:39,261
Oh...
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00:02:50,535 --> 00:02:52,166
Why would Danny run away?
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00:02:52,241 --> 00:02:54,236
Just because I wanted
to get married?
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00:02:54,314 --> 00:02:56,378
I mean, I'm pregnant
with his child.
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00:02:56,454 --> 00:02:58,426
And for what?
This stupid apartment
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00:02:58,494 --> 00:03:00,363
that looks like it was
decorated by Teddy Roosevelt?
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00:03:00,834 --> 00:03:03,034
And don't get me started
on this ugly piano.
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00:03:03,142 --> 00:03:04,407
Takes up so much space.
77
00:03:04,479 --> 00:03:06,644
Meanwhile, my beloved
South Park pinball machine
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00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:07,711
rots in storage!
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00:03:13,674 --> 00:03:14,871
My life would be
so much better
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00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:17,647
if I'd just fallen in love
with someone else.
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00:03:45,373 --> 00:03:46,536
Where am I?
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00:03:47,012 --> 00:03:49,075
Oh, no. Did I break
into Mariah Carey's penthouse
83
00:03:49,151 --> 00:03:50,142
and fall asleep again?
84
00:03:53,331 --> 00:03:54,596
Ah! What? What?
Ah! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
85
00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:56,436
Are you a hot home invader?
Please don't kill me!
86
00:03:56,541 --> 00:03:57,977
Babe, it's...
It's me.
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00:03:58,046 --> 00:03:59,037
It's Matt.
88
00:04:00,118 --> 00:04:01,247
Your husband.
89
00:04:01,891 --> 00:04:03,829
Ex-squeeze me?
90
00:04:07,728 --> 00:04:11,737
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
91
00:04:19,479 --> 00:04:21,748
Uh, I think there has
been a misunderstanding.
92
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,720
You're not my husband
because I am not...
93
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,000
Oh, my God!
94
00:04:27,470 --> 00:04:28,701
This ring is huge!
95
00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:31,412
Yeah. You said if I didn't
get you a big enough ring,
96
00:04:31,483 --> 00:04:35,017
I could, "Get used to S-ing my
own D for the rest of my L."
97
00:04:35,529 --> 00:04:36,590
That does sound like me.
98
00:04:36,933 --> 00:04:38,426
Yes, it does.
99
00:04:38,605 --> 00:04:39,631
Morning, babe.
100
00:04:39,875 --> 00:04:41,848
Hungry?
Yes. Always.
101
00:04:43,253 --> 00:04:45,749
Last nightI wished I had never gottentogether with Danny,
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00:04:45,828 --> 00:04:48,028
and this morning
my wish came true.
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00:04:48,102 --> 00:04:49,629
It's like 13 Going On 30,
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00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:52,613
except I'm still
the same age, 26.
105
00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:53,982
Is that Gramercy Park?
106
00:04:54,121 --> 00:04:56,025
I live on Gramercy Park?
107
00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:57,858
That's Jon Stewart
eating a hot dog.
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00:04:58,166 --> 00:05:00,868
And we are married. And
he's not wearing a yarmulke?
109
00:05:01,008 --> 00:05:02,741
Then how are we so rich?
110
00:05:04,218 --> 00:05:05,414
And what's with this guy?
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00:05:05,856 --> 00:05:08,056
Smoking hot,
lives in a soap opera set,
112
00:05:08,465 --> 00:05:10,334
and he wanted to
marry my fat ass?
113
00:05:10,404 --> 00:05:12,103
What am I,
blackmailing him?
114
00:05:12,177 --> 00:05:13,441
Okay, Detective Mindy,
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00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:16,955
just need to focus, be cool
and ask him normal questions.
116
00:05:17,626 --> 00:05:19,495
Hey, honey, can I see
your birth certificate?
117
00:05:19,833 --> 00:05:21,235
What?
Never mind.
118
00:05:23,211 --> 00:05:25,377
Do you know what I thought
would be kind of a fun game?
119
00:05:25,651 --> 00:05:27,247
You and I playing
Truth or Dare.
120
00:05:27,490 --> 00:05:28,550
Okay.
Right?
121
00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:30,360
I'll pick dare.
122
00:05:30,867 --> 00:05:32,360
God damn it.
123
00:05:32,975 --> 00:05:36,714
I dare you to
tell me the truth
124
00:05:36,786 --> 00:05:38,050
about how we first met.
125
00:05:38,626 --> 00:05:39,686
That's kind of
a weird dare.
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00:05:39,829 --> 00:05:41,060
No, it's good. It's good.
127
00:05:42,069 --> 00:05:45,067
But, okay.
So the first time
I ever saw you
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00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:47,852
was on that flight
from LA, right?
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00:05:47,987 --> 00:05:49,184
It was, like,
two years ago
or something.
130
00:05:49,526 --> 00:05:52,193
And I came out of the
lavatory and there you were.
131
00:05:52,970 --> 00:05:55,843
Judging by your build
and your denim jacket,
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00:05:56,047 --> 00:05:58,349
I just assumed you were an
old Native American man.
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00:05:58,621 --> 00:06:00,182
Excuse me, sir.
134
00:06:00,259 --> 00:06:01,627
Sir?
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00:06:01,798 --> 00:06:03,564
I'm obviously a
beautiful woman, dude.
136
00:06:03,637 --> 00:06:05,039
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
137
00:06:05,375 --> 00:06:07,575
Can we just start over?
I'm Matt Sherman.
138
00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:11,490
Matt Sherman... Why does
that sound so familiar?
139
00:06:11,561 --> 00:06:13,796
Oh, were you on
the jury for my
public urination trial?
140
00:06:13,868 --> 00:06:14,928
Thanks for nothing,
by the way.
141
00:06:15,272 --> 00:06:16,799
No, sadly, that, uh...
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00:06:16,878 --> 00:06:17,904
That wasn't me.
143
00:06:17,981 --> 00:06:19,177
But you might
recognize my name
144
00:06:19,319 --> 00:06:21,120
from the credits.
I'm a producer,
145
00:06:21,191 --> 00:06:24,098
actually, on
The Real Housewives
on Bravo.
146
00:06:24,903 --> 00:06:26,567
Real Housewives?
147
00:06:26,809 --> 00:06:28,575
That's my favorite
franchise of shows!
148
00:06:28,748 --> 00:06:30,879
Really? Thanks.
Yeah. That's incredible.
149
00:06:31,289 --> 00:06:32,417
Do you know Andy Cohen?
150
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:35,332
Do I know Andy Cohen?
Yeah.
151
00:06:35,402 --> 00:06:37,271
Yeah, that guy's,
like, my best friend.
Oh, my God.
152
00:06:37,341 --> 00:06:38,743
I tell him all
my girl problems.
153
00:06:39,214 --> 00:06:42,053
Oh. Do you have
a lot of girl problems?
154
00:06:42,123 --> 00:06:43,251
I'm about to.
155
00:06:45,165 --> 00:06:47,400
Then we had sex
in the bathroom,
156
00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:48,636
and we've been
together ever since.
157
00:06:49,078 --> 00:06:52,019
That's the most
romantic story I have
ever heard in my life.
158
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:53,982
So, Dr. Lahiri,
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00:06:54,093 --> 00:06:55,621
are you happy
to be back in India?
160
00:06:55,899 --> 00:06:57,369
No. I miss Boston.
161
00:06:57,605 --> 00:07:00,843
The Red Sox, Freedom Trail,
Dunkin' Donuts,
162
00:07:00,915 --> 00:07:02,476
free small coffee
for seniors.
163
00:07:02,821 --> 00:07:05,955
Yeah. Boston.
Great town. Love it.
164
00:07:06,398 --> 00:07:08,267
I just wish my daughter
had stayed there.
165
00:07:08,472 --> 00:07:11,002
How is Mindy doing?
Her mother and I
have been concerned.
166
00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:13,546
Any idea who the
father might be?
167
00:07:13,688 --> 00:07:14,884
Actually,
I'm glad you asked.
168
00:07:15,326 --> 00:07:17,025
Because if I ever
saw the man
169
00:07:17,098 --> 00:07:19,800
who left my daughter
in a vulnerable situation,
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00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:21,208
I would break
all his bones.
171
00:07:21,445 --> 00:07:25,184
Yes. He deserves
a stern talking-to
that ends in forgiveness.
172
00:07:25,425 --> 00:07:27,796
Strangers in the night
173
00:07:28,199 --> 00:07:30,365
Hello, I'm Sonu Lahiri.
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00:07:30,641 --> 00:07:31,974
Welcome.
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00:07:33,850 --> 00:07:35,013
Sonu, please.
176
00:07:35,389 --> 00:07:37,121
This is Mindy's
co-worker, Danny.
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00:07:37,562 --> 00:07:38,998
Wonderful to
meet you, Danny.
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00:07:39,066 --> 00:07:41,700
Mrs. Lahiri.
So how was
your flight from...
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00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:47,118
Sonu. My tinnitus.
180
00:07:47,526 --> 00:07:48,860
How was your audition?
181
00:07:49,098 --> 00:07:50,431
I decided the
part was too small.
182
00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:52,598
And I didn't get it.
What a relief.
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00:07:52,809 --> 00:07:53,904
Oh, I'm sorry,
sweetheart.
184
00:07:54,147 --> 00:07:57,123
It's so hard being the
new kid on the block.
185
00:07:57,190 --> 00:08:00,097
Everyone knew me
from the Massachusetts
regional theater scene.
186
00:08:00,166 --> 00:08:02,936
I played every part
from gypsy to fortune-teller.
187
00:08:03,008 --> 00:08:03,999
And here?
188
00:08:04,212 --> 00:08:05,306
Here, I can't even get
a callback
189
00:08:05,515 --> 00:08:07,715
for Old Woman Who
Can't Believe That
Yogurt is Fat Free.
190
00:08:07,956 --> 00:08:09,085
Well, show business...
191
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:10,630
It's all about
who you know, right?
192
00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:13,171
Finally, someone
who gets it.
193
00:08:13,407 --> 00:08:14,707
You know what, Tarun?
194
00:08:15,011 --> 00:08:17,485
Maybe Danny can help us
with our special project.
195
00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:19,219
You want me to build
something for you?
196
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,283
A spice rack?
197
00:08:20,529 --> 00:08:21,999
I'm sure you go through
a lot of those out here.
198
00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:24,673
No. You can help us
select a suitable boy
for our daughter.
199
00:08:26,147 --> 00:08:27,982
We are arranging a
marriage for Mindy.
200
00:08:29,290 --> 00:08:30,657
You're what?
201
00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:33,562
- Hmm, even though I'm rich,- I'm still slumming it
202
00:08:33,637 --> 00:08:34,628
with these nobodies.
203
00:08:34,706 --> 00:08:36,142
How noble.
204
00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:37,842
So, in this reality,
205
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:41,221
I have the same job,
the same giant cans,
206
00:08:41,294 --> 00:08:44,737
but if I'm married to Matt,
what's going on with...
207
00:08:45,339 --> 00:08:46,400
Get out of my office.
208
00:08:46,978 --> 00:08:48,140
That's pretty rude.
209
00:08:48,684 --> 00:08:51,487
I need to talk to you
and it's important.
210
00:08:53,264 --> 00:08:56,536
Something
incredibly strange
is happening to me
211
00:08:56,709 --> 00:08:58,407
and I feel...
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
212
00:08:58,480 --> 00:08:59,677
Go back on that
side of the desk, okay?
213
00:08:59,885 --> 00:09:01,789
This is... This is
a very intimate space.
214
00:09:02,259 --> 00:09:04,995
Uh, duh. I spent half my life
kneeling on this floor.
215
00:09:05,335 --> 00:09:07,398
What?
Fine. Fine.
216
00:09:07,475 --> 00:09:08,775
I'll go sit over there.
217
00:09:12,591 --> 00:09:15,498
Hey, how would you
describe our relationship?
218
00:09:15,834 --> 00:09:19,072
Bad. Yeah.
Frosty. Hostile.
219
00:09:19,178 --> 00:09:20,546
Not good.
Did I say "bad"?
220
00:09:21,017 --> 00:09:22,544
Why?
Because I have to
work with you,
221
00:09:22,622 --> 00:09:23,785
and I don't think
you're a good person.
222
00:09:23,859 --> 00:09:26,355
What are you
talking about?
I'm a great person.
223
00:09:26,434 --> 00:09:28,201
I go to church with
you every single week.
224
00:09:28,273 --> 00:09:30,108
I'm not even Catholic.
It's boring as hell
225
00:09:30,212 --> 00:09:32,185
to wait in that long line
for one stupid chip.
226
00:09:32,386 --> 00:09:34,483
What are you talking about?
We haven't talked in, like,
two years.
227
00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:35,996
You didn't even invite me
to your wedding.
228
00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:37,592
I didn't invite you
to my wedding?
229
00:09:37,769 --> 00:09:38,864
Not that I'd
invite you to mine.
230
00:09:38,973 --> 00:09:41,606
Wait, are you
getting married?
No. Never.
231
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,312
I would never make
that mistake again.
232
00:09:43,688 --> 00:09:45,283
Ah, yes,
233
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:47,623
there is the
Danny I know.
234
00:09:47,901 --> 00:09:49,269
Sorry I wasted your time.
235
00:09:52,816 --> 00:09:53,807
Okay, universe.
236
00:09:53,987 --> 00:09:56,221
I guess the lesson here
is that without me,
237
00:09:56,361 --> 00:09:58,526
Danny Castellano
is a miserable meatball.
238
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,698
But without him,
my life is much better.
239
00:10:00,874 --> 00:10:02,105
Might as well enjoy it.
240
00:10:02,647 --> 00:10:04,208
Morgan! Get me my lunch.
241
00:10:04,285 --> 00:10:06,987
I'm not pregnant, so sushi
and a 40, please!
242
00:10:07,395 --> 00:10:09,367
So just your
regular lunch?
243
00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:12,102
Morgan?
What happened to you?
244
00:10:12,377 --> 00:10:13,972
Why are you
in a wheelchair?
245
00:10:14,785 --> 00:10:17,190
I was walking down
the street with Dr. C.
246
00:10:17,259 --> 00:10:20,429
There was a lot
of traffic, and it
was raining a little.
247
00:10:21,706 --> 00:10:23,610
And I stepped on the curb,
248
00:10:24,046 --> 00:10:25,482
and Dr. C turned to me
and said,
249
00:10:25,551 --> 00:10:26,714
"Your shoes are too squeaky.
250
00:10:26,788 --> 00:10:29,627
"I want you to spend the rest
of the day in a wheelchair."
251
00:10:31,269 --> 00:10:32,330
What?
252
00:10:32,406 --> 00:10:35,381
I'm so embarrassed.
I feel like such a fool.
253
00:10:35,683 --> 00:10:38,156
Ah... I actually...
I found them in a field.
254
00:10:38,492 --> 00:10:40,122
It's... It's like
a high-pitched.
255
00:10:41,334 --> 00:10:42,770
Get off!
Ah! Ah!
256
00:10:43,072 --> 00:10:44,907
Does Mindy know you're
finding her a husband?
257
00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:48,419
No, but since the father
won't step up to the plate
like Manny Ramirez,
258
00:10:48,489 --> 00:10:51,328
we had to take the ball
and run with it
like Rob Gronkowski.
259
00:10:51,398 --> 00:10:54,897
Come on,
an arranged marriage?
That's so...
260
00:10:54,977 --> 00:10:56,743
That's so medieval.
261
00:10:57,718 --> 00:10:59,018
We were an
arranged marriage.
262
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:01,421
You were?
263
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:04,130
But you... You...
You must have known each other
264
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,470
a little bit before, right?
265
00:11:05,810 --> 00:11:07,405
Like seen each other
at the festivals?
266
00:11:07,482 --> 00:11:08,884
You know,
when you push the...
267
00:11:09,187 --> 00:11:11,125
The lantern in the water?
268
00:11:11,394 --> 00:11:13,161
That's Japan.
That's Japan.
269
00:11:13,333 --> 00:11:15,272
The first time
I saw her
270
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:19,045
was when I lifted her
veil on our wedding day.
271
00:11:19,252 --> 00:11:21,247
It was the happiest
day of our lives.
272
00:11:23,230 --> 00:11:24,963
All right. All right,
273
00:11:25,036 --> 00:11:26,336
let's take a look
at these guys.
274
00:11:26,541 --> 00:11:28,137
Yeah, let's do it.
275
00:11:33,563 --> 00:11:35,866
Hello, Mindy.
You look happy.
276
00:11:36,538 --> 00:11:38,373
Let me guess. There's
a new pop song out
277
00:11:38,445 --> 00:11:40,245
celebrating butt size.
278
00:11:40,585 --> 00:11:43,652
Jason Derulo's
Big Ol' Cheekies
is the jam of the season.
279
00:11:43,728 --> 00:11:47,171
And I am happy because
my life is so great.
280
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:48,834
What do you want?
281
00:11:49,044 --> 00:11:50,514
Oh, nothing.
I was just
282
00:11:50,582 --> 00:11:52,247
missing the smell
of your dandruff shampoo.
283
00:11:52,422 --> 00:11:53,722
Oh, my God!
284
00:11:53,893 --> 00:11:55,489
Don't sniff me, you pedo!
285
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:57,934
You did not call me
"pedo" on Thursday.
286
00:11:58,307 --> 00:11:59,674
Well, actually you did,
287
00:11:59,778 --> 00:12:01,716
but it was in a fun
role-playing context.
288
00:12:02,352 --> 00:12:03,947
Role-playing?
289
00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:05,790
Oh, my God.
290
00:12:06,399 --> 00:12:07,926
Are we sleeping together?
291
00:12:10,211 --> 00:12:12,684
I'm not sleeping with you.
I would never
cheat on Danny.
292
00:12:12,852 --> 00:12:16,124
I mean, my husband,
Mitt. Matt.
293
00:12:16,195 --> 00:12:17,426
Whoever. This person.
294
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:19,598
Damn it. I thought
this reality was better.
295
00:12:19,673 --> 00:12:21,371
Well, Mindy, I like
to think that I exist
296
00:12:21,445 --> 00:12:22,847
in multiple
realities as well.
297
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,580
However, in this one,
I can tell we are not
298
00:12:24,655 --> 00:12:27,323
going to have sex,
so I'm gonna go.
299
00:12:28,968 --> 00:12:31,339
- What's going on with me?- I'm not a cheater.
300
00:12:31,477 --> 00:12:33,642
The only thing I've ever
cheated on was my vision test,
301
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:35,084
and that was a
victimless crime.
302
00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:36,556
Ow!
303
00:12:36,626 --> 00:12:37,720
Damn it!
304
00:12:37,829 --> 00:12:38,820
Why is there a chair here?
305
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,938
There's like a million
chairs in this room.
306
00:12:41,608 --> 00:12:42,976
Danny can't be
right about me.
307
00:12:43,079 --> 00:12:44,549
I have to confess to Matt.
308
00:12:44,617 --> 00:12:46,145
Because I'm a good person,
309
00:12:46,222 --> 00:12:47,522
and if he wants to
break up with me,
310
00:12:47,594 --> 00:12:49,224
I'll cash out
with half his money.
311
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,299
Ooh, a dentist.
312
00:12:52,710 --> 00:12:54,807
They can talk
about being doctors.
Fake doctor.
313
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,385
What do you
think, Danny?
314
00:12:56,521 --> 00:12:58,390
He's a decent man.
Will Mindy like him?
315
00:12:58,728 --> 00:13:00,963
Uh, makes a
mid-five figures,
doesn't drink,
316
00:13:01,035 --> 00:13:02,836
listens to jazz.
I hope he likes
the outdoors,
317
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:04,572
'cause Mindy's
gonna push him
right off a bridge.
318
00:13:04,647 --> 00:13:06,174
Next!
319
00:13:06,251 --> 00:13:08,451
Danny, you haven't
seemed to like any
of these gentlemen.
320
00:13:08,558 --> 00:13:10,223
This is Mindy
we're talking about.
321
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,303
Is there a binder
of white NBA players?
322
00:13:12,370 --> 00:13:14,365
Our daughter is
a 35-year-old
pregnant woman
323
00:13:14,444 --> 00:13:15,777
with a
Bart Simpson tattoo.
324
00:13:15,847 --> 00:13:18,651
If one of these men
will marry her,
who are we to say no?
325
00:13:18,724 --> 00:13:20,217
Oh, maybe
Danny is right.
326
00:13:20,362 --> 00:13:21,992
Maybe this is
a bad idea,
327
00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:24,336
like Boston
hosting the Olympics.
328
00:13:24,408 --> 00:13:26,403
Mindy's too particular
for arranged marriage.
329
00:13:26,581 --> 00:13:28,519
Which raises
the question,
330
00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:32,291
maybe, just maybe,
the fault isn't with Mindy,
331
00:13:32,365 --> 00:13:34,429
but with the institution
of marriage itself.
332
00:13:34,706 --> 00:13:36,108
Get out of my way.
333
00:13:36,177 --> 00:13:37,671
English! English!
334
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:41,349
I am Morgan,
of House Tookers.
335
00:13:41,728 --> 00:13:43,427
Morgan!
Morgan!
336
00:13:43,501 --> 00:13:45,028
Finally, we
are together!
337
00:13:45,105 --> 00:13:47,009
Like Peter Lawford
and Joey Bishop.
338
00:13:47,079 --> 00:13:48,139
You framed it.
339
00:13:48,215 --> 00:13:49,309
Morgan, what are
you doing here?
340
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,421
Thank God you're here.
I've been looking
all over for you.
341
00:13:51,726 --> 00:13:53,926
I went to Pakistan first,
big mistake.
342
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,470
The Taliban tried
to recruit me.
343
00:13:55,772 --> 00:13:57,539
Hey! It's great to see you.
Can I talk to you?
344
00:13:57,878 --> 00:13:59,178
No one's ever said
that to me before.
345
00:13:59,249 --> 00:14:01,118
Okay.
What'd they say?
Did you ask them yet?
346
00:14:01,255 --> 00:14:02,418
- Ow! Ow!
- I'll be right back.
347
00:14:02,660 --> 00:14:04,222
Shh. Shh.
Keep your voice down.
Ow!
348
00:14:04,834 --> 00:14:06,567
Hey, man.
How about a hello?
349
00:14:06,739 --> 00:14:07,902
How the hell
did you find me?
350
00:14:08,110 --> 00:14:09,705
Cousin Lou used
to be a detective.
351
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:10,807
In a porno.
352
00:14:11,019 --> 00:14:13,960
Right now, they're
trying to push Mindy
into an arranged marriage.
353
00:14:14,698 --> 00:14:17,537
In there?
They got a whole binder
full of losers.
354
00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:19,736
Oh, is it the
Big Book of American Losers?
355
00:14:19,914 --> 00:14:21,282
I'm on page 275.
356
00:14:22,121 --> 00:14:24,423
Did you ask for Dr. L's hand?
What did they say?
357
00:14:24,495 --> 00:14:25,828
No, I'm not
doing that, okay?
358
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:28,304
I came here to
tell them I love her,
359
00:14:28,374 --> 00:14:29,674
but I'm not
built for marriage.
360
00:14:29,945 --> 00:14:31,142
Okay, no, no.
I'm sorry.
361
00:14:31,216 --> 00:14:33,655
I did not use
all of Dr. L's
Marlboro points
362
00:14:33,723 --> 00:14:35,250
to fly halfway
across the globe,
363
00:14:35,362 --> 00:14:37,927
tell the Taliban I would
"Think about it,"
364
00:14:38,037 --> 00:14:39,668
only to have you
say yet again
365
00:14:39,742 --> 00:14:41,440
you are not going to
propose to the woman
366
00:14:41,515 --> 00:14:42,917
that you knocked up.
367
00:14:42,986 --> 00:14:46,485
"Oh, my feelings!
My qualms!
368
00:14:46,831 --> 00:14:48,598
I...
"I have all these qualms!"
369
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:50,870
Hey, babe.
370
00:14:50,944 --> 00:14:52,744
I have to tell you
something very important
371
00:14:52,817 --> 00:14:55,051
and it's been
bothering me
the whole day.
372
00:14:55,123 --> 00:14:56,856
Ugh! These chips
are terrible.
373
00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:58,792
Whoa, babe, that's
a bowl of seashells.
374
00:14:59,069 --> 00:15:00,060
Oh.
375
00:15:00,139 --> 00:15:01,301
Ooh!
This reminds me.
376
00:15:01,911 --> 00:15:03,472
I spoke to Andy.
377
00:15:03,549 --> 00:15:05,180
And he is so pleased
with my work on
378
00:15:05,255 --> 00:15:06,953
Black vs. White,
379
00:15:07,094 --> 00:15:08,963
he wants to move forward
with our show.
380
00:15:09,402 --> 00:15:11,841
Our show?
Yeah, our reality show.
381
00:15:12,377 --> 00:15:14,246
About you and me
and our real lives,
382
00:15:14,316 --> 00:15:16,846
our stresses and
struggles, as you start
your own business.
383
00:15:17,460 --> 00:15:18,930
Wait, my
fertility practice?
384
00:15:19,332 --> 00:15:21,030
I don't know what that is.
No, your company!
385
00:15:21,104 --> 00:15:22,735
Delectable Desires.
386
00:15:22,843 --> 00:15:25,146
Slutty girdles for the
sexually active obese.
387
00:15:25,885 --> 00:15:26,946
That's my company?
388
00:15:27,959 --> 00:15:30,455
Okay, I'm sure my parents
are going to be
very proud about that.
389
00:15:30,533 --> 00:15:32,003
No, no, just...
Please. Matt, stop.
390
00:15:32,072 --> 00:15:34,044
I have to
tell you something.
Of course. Babe,
391
00:15:34,412 --> 00:15:37,320
if you can confess to me
that you wrote a love letter
to Mel Gibson,
392
00:15:37,388 --> 00:15:38,618
you can tell me anything.
393
00:15:40,096 --> 00:15:41,327
I slept with
someone else.
394
00:15:41,535 --> 00:15:43,028
And I don't know
why I did it,
395
00:15:43,173 --> 00:15:45,373
but I promise I'm
not that kind of person.
396
00:15:45,447 --> 00:15:47,077
Oh, that's it?
That's the confession?
397
00:15:48,021 --> 00:15:49,116
Yeah.
398
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,761
Well, babe. I mean...
399
00:15:52,469 --> 00:15:54,167
So do I.
I sleep with other
people all the time.
400
00:15:55,143 --> 00:15:56,774
We have
an open relationship.
401
00:15:57,116 --> 00:15:58,279
Ex-squeeze me?
402
00:15:59,123 --> 00:16:01,859
Danny, this is the
best Italian food
I've ever eaten.
403
00:16:02,032 --> 00:16:04,802
Tarun, thank you so much
for this sweatshirt. I...
404
00:16:04,874 --> 00:16:06,435
I love wearing it.
I love the Sox.
405
00:16:06,545 --> 00:16:07,606
You are most welcome.
406
00:16:07,916 --> 00:16:09,547
Morgan, I can't believe
you're not eating.
407
00:16:09,689 --> 00:16:12,060
Honestly? It just...
It looks really
disgusting to me.
408
00:16:12,431 --> 00:16:15,429
Like it was made
with ulterior motives.
409
00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:17,507
I'm just going to stick
to my PB and naan.
410
00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:18,571
I love it.
411
00:16:18,650 --> 00:16:21,454
You know, I only cook
like this for people I love.
412
00:16:21,659 --> 00:16:23,723
That is so sweet, Danny.
413
00:16:23,799 --> 00:16:25,703
Why can't our Mindy
find someone like you?
414
00:16:25,905 --> 00:16:28,379
Instead she gets taken
advantage of by some creep.
415
00:16:28,581 --> 00:16:31,111
Let me tell you something
about the guy who
knocked up your daughter.
416
00:16:31,223 --> 00:16:34,164
He's literally the worst
person I've ever
met in my life.
417
00:16:34,232 --> 00:16:36,603
And I was in a
forced triple cell with
the Menendez brothers.
418
00:16:36,940 --> 00:16:38,638
Really? Didn't he
float you five grand
419
00:16:38,712 --> 00:16:40,513
so you could go to nurse
practitioner's school?
420
00:16:40,752 --> 00:16:42,815
Yeah, but did he come
to my graduation party?
421
00:16:42,892 --> 00:16:43,883
Nope!
422
00:16:43,996 --> 00:16:45,991
It was just me by myself
at the Rainforest Cafe.
423
00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:47,469
A parrot laughed at me.
424
00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:49,237
The waiter kept
saying, "Sir..."
425
00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:50,907
That's odd. We weren't
expecting anyone.
426
00:16:51,185 --> 00:16:52,449
Yeah, well, I was.
427
00:16:52,556 --> 00:16:54,322
Who do you
know in India?
Who do I know in India?
428
00:16:54,595 --> 00:16:57,365
Uh, well, for one, the dogs
that stole my luggage,
429
00:16:57,772 --> 00:16:58,798
and for two,
430
00:17:00,046 --> 00:17:01,242
Dr. L's future husband.
431
00:17:01,684 --> 00:17:03,656
I went through this binder
and I found a real winner.
432
00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:05,388
Oh, you did?
And there he is
right there.
433
00:17:08,806 --> 00:17:10,505
We're in an
open relationship?
434
00:17:10,645 --> 00:17:11,739
Are you out of your mind?
435
00:17:11,815 --> 00:17:14,152
You only check
open relationship on
Facebook as a joke!
436
00:17:14,223 --> 00:17:16,491
Like, "I'm in an
open relationship
with chili fries!"
437
00:17:16,831 --> 00:17:18,233
This was your idea!
438
00:17:18,469 --> 00:17:20,567
Okay? We saw that
Michael Fassbender movie.
439
00:17:20,643 --> 00:17:22,478
You were like,
"I'd love to have a
three-way with that guy!"
440
00:17:22,549 --> 00:17:23,780
And I was like,
"I agree."
441
00:17:24,053 --> 00:17:26,390
Yeah, but you're not
supposed to agree with
every stupid thing I say.
442
00:17:26,461 --> 00:17:28,330
Danny would've been like,
"Stop being a pervert.
443
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:29,928
"Take a walk around the block.
Cool your loins."
444
00:17:30,072 --> 00:17:32,101
Oh, Danny.
Danny, your co-worker
445
00:17:32,178 --> 00:17:33,580
who treats you
like an idiot?
446
00:17:33,717 --> 00:17:35,780
Well, you know what?
Sometimes I am an idiot.
447
00:17:36,124 --> 00:17:37,320
How are we
supposed to explain
448
00:17:37,429 --> 00:17:38,728
our open relationship
to our kids?
449
00:17:39,067 --> 00:17:41,199
Our kids?
We're not having kids.
450
00:17:41,407 --> 00:17:44,075
You said you'd rather
have a recording studio
451
00:17:44,183 --> 00:17:45,916
and a South Park
pinball machine!
452
00:17:46,222 --> 00:17:48,091
You know, I just
can't believe you're
doing this tonight.
453
00:17:48,161 --> 00:17:49,152
Of all nights!
454
00:17:49,533 --> 00:17:51,505
The one night my college
roommate is in town.
455
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:52,866
I'm sorry, okay?
456
00:17:54,715 --> 00:17:57,245
Wait, we weren't meeting him
for group sex, were we?
457
00:17:57,524 --> 00:17:59,724
No. We were meeting him
for a nice dinner
458
00:17:59,831 --> 00:18:01,131
and to reminisce.
459
00:18:01,436 --> 00:18:02,872
Yes, we were going to
have a three-way with him!
460
00:18:03,042 --> 00:18:04,843
I don't even
know you anymore.
461
00:18:07,255 --> 00:18:08,748
They killed Kenny!
462
00:18:08,893 --> 00:18:11,162
- I get it, universe.- I have to find Danny.
463
00:18:11,768 --> 00:18:14,241
Now, Sendhil, it says
here you love to dance.
464
00:18:14,444 --> 00:18:17,214
I, myself, couldn't
walk until I was 12.
465
00:18:17,286 --> 00:18:18,346
Can you speak to that?
466
00:18:18,624 --> 00:18:20,687
Hip-hop was my
entire 20s.
467
00:18:20,830 --> 00:18:23,396
I'd say a highlight was
touring with Michael Jackson
468
00:18:23,773 --> 00:18:25,106
and meeting
the Queen.
469
00:18:25,478 --> 00:18:26,846
Oh!
470
00:18:27,083 --> 00:18:28,576
Mmm.
471
00:18:28,655 --> 00:18:31,220
I'm a fairly
accomplished dancer.
472
00:18:31,295 --> 00:18:33,427
It's not exactly the
most lucrative career.
473
00:18:33,971 --> 00:18:35,875
How do you plan to support
a family on that?
474
00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:37,772
Oh, no,
I run a hedge fund.
475
00:18:37,849 --> 00:18:39,718
Oh!
Yeah, when a man
over 30 dances,
476
00:18:39,823 --> 00:18:40,814
he only looks foolish.
477
00:18:40,926 --> 00:18:42,226
Amen, brother.
478
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:44,302
Sendhil, you are
such a catch.
Uh-huh.
479
00:18:44,503 --> 00:18:46,908
May I ask, why
aren't you married?
480
00:18:47,447 --> 00:18:48,974
Well, I was married.
481
00:18:49,051 --> 00:18:50,145
Oh, you're divorced?
482
00:18:50,589 --> 00:18:52,561
Thanks for
playing, Sandal.
483
00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:54,668
Too bad. Really
thought you were the one.
I'll walk you out.
484
00:18:54,802 --> 00:18:57,105
You were divorced,
right, Dr. C?
485
00:18:57,243 --> 00:18:59,443
Uh, no. I was...
I was annulled.
It's totally different.
486
00:18:59,517 --> 00:19:00,714
The same thing,
I think.
487
00:19:00,821 --> 00:19:02,918
I wish I was annulled.
488
00:19:02,995 --> 00:19:04,055
Actually, I'm a widower.
489
00:19:05,703 --> 00:19:07,938
My wife was
swept away in a wave.
490
00:19:08,612 --> 00:19:09,946
Oh, oh, oh.
491
00:19:10,117 --> 00:19:12,112
Oh, sorry.
492
00:19:13,393 --> 00:19:14,658
I think we got a
winner right here.
493
00:19:14,731 --> 00:19:16,761
Dr. L's new husband
and my new best friend.
494
00:19:16,838 --> 00:19:18,707
My main man!
No, no, no.
495
00:19:18,811 --> 00:19:20,281
He's not the husband.
He's not the best friend.
496
00:19:20,382 --> 00:19:21,910
What's wrong with him?
Is it the way he's dressed?
497
00:19:22,054 --> 00:19:24,527
Or the fact that he's rich,
or has this
498
00:19:24,595 --> 00:19:26,464
friggin' beautiful
caramel skin?
499
00:19:26,969 --> 00:19:30,241
Or is it that he wants
to marry the old girl,
sight unseen,
500
00:19:30,346 --> 00:19:32,113
unlike some people
that I know.
501
00:19:32,219 --> 00:19:33,747
Okay, Morgan. Stop.
502
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:35,317
Right now.
Okay, just stop.
Danny,
503
00:19:35,495 --> 00:19:37,900
we know you have
high standards,
but Sendhil is
504
00:19:38,004 --> 00:19:39,872
far and away
the best option
Mindy has.
505
00:19:39,943 --> 00:19:41,276
No. No, he isn't.
506
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:42,676
If not him, then who?
507
00:19:42,752 --> 00:19:45,225
Yeah, Danny.
If not him, then who?
508
00:19:46,062 --> 00:19:47,088
Me.
509
00:19:49,071 --> 00:19:50,701
I'm the father
of Mindy's baby.
510
00:19:51,177 --> 00:19:53,582
And you've come
to ask for her hand?
511
00:19:54,053 --> 00:19:55,581
Not exactly.
512
00:19:55,926 --> 00:19:57,021
Come again?
513
00:19:58,166 --> 00:19:58,233
How could you lie to us?
514
00:19:58,233 --> 00:19:59,761
How could you lie to us?
515
00:19:59,838 --> 00:20:01,399
I played Sudoku
with you.
516
00:20:01,510 --> 00:20:03,847
We talked about the Red Sox's
middle relief problems.
517
00:20:04,118 --> 00:20:05,554
Guess what?
He hates the Red Sox.
518
00:20:05,623 --> 00:20:06,614
He hates Tom Brady, too.
519
00:20:06,759 --> 00:20:08,628
I don't hate him. I just
think he's an ugly cheater.
520
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,103
Wait. Hold on.
She's pregnant?
You didn't tell me that.
521
00:20:11,174 --> 00:20:14,274
Okay. She's a very
sexually active
35-year-old woman,
522
00:20:14,350 --> 00:20:16,653
who doesn't like
the way condoms feel.
What do you expect?
523
00:20:16,724 --> 00:20:18,160
Thirty-five
and pregnant?
524
00:20:18,496 --> 00:20:19,932
You were trying to
sell me a lemon!
525
00:20:20,067 --> 00:20:22,165
Hey!
Ex-squeeze me, sir,
526
00:20:22,241 --> 00:20:25,114
did you just call my daughter
a piece of sour fruit?
527
00:20:25,518 --> 00:20:27,011
How dare you!
528
00:20:27,391 --> 00:20:29,329
Our daughter
is a sweet angel
529
00:20:29,564 --> 00:20:31,296
that any man would
be lucky to be with.
530
00:20:31,470 --> 00:20:32,666
Of course you'd say that.
531
00:20:32,740 --> 00:20:34,940
You're the people
who taught her
these loose morals.
532
00:20:35,048 --> 00:20:36,815
You don't insult my family.
533
00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:38,950
It is the greatest
family in the world.
534
00:20:39,027 --> 00:20:40,861
My daughter
is a ray of light,
535
00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:42,435
because this is
her mother,
536
00:20:42,638 --> 00:20:44,074
the premiere
undiscovered
537
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,873
Bollywood character actress
538
00:20:46,283 --> 00:20:47,548
in the
Greater Boston area.
539
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,422
And Mindy is a brilliant
doctor, because she
takes after this man,
540
00:20:50,496 --> 00:20:53,768
the best chemistry professor
to walk the halls
of Lesley College.
541
00:20:54,006 --> 00:20:55,875
His office hours
are poorly attended
542
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,314
because he teaches it
right the first time.
543
00:20:58,754 --> 00:21:01,251
Well, if she's so great, how
come you won't marry her?
544
00:21:02,466 --> 00:21:03,936
Those are
my own stupid issues.
545
00:21:04,037 --> 00:21:06,773
If I grew up seeing
a marriage like this one,
546
00:21:06,846 --> 00:21:08,077
I don't know, maybe
I wouldn't have them.
547
00:21:09,789 --> 00:21:10,849
Mindy is amazing.
548
00:21:10,926 --> 00:21:12,226
Yes, she is.
549
00:21:12,497 --> 00:21:15,941
And for the record, people
would kill to be a Lahiri.
550
00:21:16,377 --> 00:21:19,078
I'd kill a whole
busload of people.
You hear that?
551
00:21:19,151 --> 00:21:20,553
Whew!
552
00:21:20,623 --> 00:21:22,024
I'm sorry.
That's the Taliban talking.
553
00:21:22,128 --> 00:21:23,154
Now get out.
554
00:21:24,602 --> 00:21:27,441
Hey, how come you needed
my credit card information?
555
00:21:30,420 --> 00:21:31,856
Now. Get out.
556
00:21:49,513 --> 00:21:51,040
Danny, Danny.
557
00:21:51,118 --> 00:21:52,588
Oh, thank God
I found you.
I need to talk to you.
558
00:21:52,656 --> 00:21:54,092
It's very important.
559
00:21:57,203 --> 00:21:58,639
Are you on a
date right now?
560
00:21:58,708 --> 00:22:00,178
Yes, I am.
What are you doing here?
561
00:22:00,414 --> 00:22:02,910
I am in a Sliding Doors
for one freaking day,
562
00:22:03,021 --> 00:22:04,491
and you are
wining, dining
563
00:22:04,559 --> 00:22:05,551
and potentially
sixty-nining
564
00:22:05,663 --> 00:22:06,654
with this random...
565
00:22:09,074 --> 00:22:11,069
Oh, my God.
Sorry.
566
00:22:11,514 --> 00:22:13,007
Are you Freida Pinto?
567
00:22:13,387 --> 00:22:15,325
Yes.
You know,
people tell me
568
00:22:15,426 --> 00:22:17,261
that we look
so much alike.
569
00:22:17,332 --> 00:22:18,597
You must hear
that too, right?
570
00:22:18,871 --> 00:22:21,036
I don't think so.
I don't see
the resemblance, really.
571
00:22:21,111 --> 00:22:23,414
Wait, were you ever
featured in Cosmo
572
00:22:23,552 --> 00:22:24,543
in their
Fashion Fails section?
573
00:22:24,655 --> 00:22:25,920
You look so familiar.
574
00:22:26,060 --> 00:22:27,964
I was. I was, actually.
575
00:22:28,032 --> 00:22:29,731
I had a camel toe
in corduroy shorts.
576
00:22:29,805 --> 00:22:32,108
So, she's not the only
famous Indian woman here.
577
00:22:32,747 --> 00:22:33,807
How do you two
know each other?
578
00:22:33,884 --> 00:22:35,914
Oh, I met Danny
in spin class.
579
00:22:36,292 --> 00:22:38,788
One day
our quads touched...
Oh, yes.
580
00:22:38,933 --> 00:22:40,301
...on a very steep climb.
581
00:22:40,371 --> 00:22:41,602
What a romantic story.
582
00:22:41,675 --> 00:22:43,009
Hey, you know
what'd be great?
If I could just
583
00:22:43,079 --> 00:22:44,812
talk to this guy
and you could get
the hell out of here.
584
00:22:44,985 --> 00:22:47,322
Yeah, you should leave.
Yeah, it's weird
that you're still here.
585
00:22:47,393 --> 00:22:48,453
I'm talking to you,
Mindy.
586
00:22:48,529 --> 00:22:50,661
No, I will not leave.
587
00:22:50,837 --> 00:22:52,365
Okay, you know what?
I have to talk to you,
588
00:22:52,476 --> 00:22:53,775
so if you're not
going to move...
589
00:22:54,013 --> 00:22:56,418
I'm just going
to seat myself.
Help, Danny, she's killing me!
590
00:22:56,488 --> 00:22:58,426
Okay, cut the
theatrics, Pinto!
Danny, she's so heavy!
591
00:22:58,494 --> 00:23:00,022
Danny!
No, I am not so heavy.
592
00:23:00,099 --> 00:23:01,592
You're crushing her.
If you ate more,
593
00:23:01,670 --> 00:23:02,661
this wouldn't hurt so much.
594
00:23:02,774 --> 00:23:04,107
Get off!
You know what?
595
00:23:04,178 --> 00:23:05,774
You are rude,
you're a jerk,
596
00:23:05,850 --> 00:23:07,480
and I'm not
going anywhere.
You know why?
597
00:23:07,556 --> 00:23:09,220
'Cause I am pregnant
with this man's baby.
598
00:23:09,294 --> 00:23:10,696
What?
599
00:23:11,100 --> 00:23:13,768
I know you're very angry,
but I'm prepared
600
00:23:13,842 --> 00:23:15,142
to make things right.
601
00:23:15,213 --> 00:23:16,740
Now, how do you settle
things in this country?
602
00:23:16,951 --> 00:23:18,182
I'm going to have to
cut off your hand.
603
00:23:18,255 --> 00:23:19,725
- Oh, God, I knew it!
- You knew it was a risk.
604
00:23:19,793 --> 00:23:20,854
You knew it was a risk.
You knew it.
I knew it!
605
00:23:20,931 --> 00:23:22,526
No, you idiot!
606
00:23:22,602 --> 00:23:24,267
Have you not read
a single book
in your life?
607
00:23:25,077 --> 00:23:29,044
Look, I...
I'm sorry I insulted
your arranged marriage.
608
00:23:29,122 --> 00:23:32,121
I mean, you two have
a very special relationship.
609
00:23:32,533 --> 00:23:34,232
Looking back
on my life...
Stop.
610
00:23:34,305 --> 00:23:37,645
As my son Rishi would say,
"Get a grip, dude."
611
00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:40,755
If you had put as much
time into your relationship
612
00:23:40,826 --> 00:23:42,627
as you do
worrying about it,
613
00:23:42,698 --> 00:23:44,032
I'd have six
grandchildren by now.
614
00:23:44,103 --> 00:23:45,664
Yes, go and take
care of our daughter.
615
00:23:45,741 --> 00:23:47,372
You can call it
whatever you like.
616
00:23:49,051 --> 00:23:50,579
Okay. Uh...
617
00:23:51,726 --> 00:23:52,820
Thank you.
618
00:23:54,735 --> 00:23:57,369
Probably see you guys
during Brahmadon?
619
00:23:57,712 --> 00:23:59,045
That's not anything.
620
00:23:59,116 --> 00:24:00,677
Now you're not getting
a farewell song.
621
00:24:00,754 --> 00:24:01,780
Come on!
No. No.
622
00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:02,986
I didn't do it.
It was him.
It was me. It was me.
623
00:24:03,062 --> 00:24:04,430
- Tarun?
- Out. Out.
624
00:24:04,499 --> 00:24:05,525
Okay.
625
00:24:05,602 --> 00:24:07,198
Are you out of your mind?
Danny,
626
00:24:07,275 --> 00:24:08,870
I thought "be careful
what you wish for"
627
00:24:08,946 --> 00:24:10,747
was something that
people said in books
I've never read.
628
00:24:10,819 --> 00:24:11,982
But it's
happening to me!
629
00:24:12,056 --> 00:24:14,552
I'm not supposed to be
with Handsome Matt!
This life is wrong.
630
00:24:14,698 --> 00:24:16,897
There is no other life.
This is it.
631
00:24:16,971 --> 00:24:18,670
That's not true!
I lived it!
632
00:24:18,744 --> 00:24:19,907
Okay.
633
00:24:20,215 --> 00:24:21,846
When we were on that
plane coming back from LA,
634
00:24:22,322 --> 00:24:24,317
you were supposed to follow me
to the back and kiss me.
635
00:24:24,528 --> 00:24:25,828
But you didn't.
636
00:24:29,644 --> 00:24:30,909
Why didn't you kiss me?
637
00:24:34,593 --> 00:24:35,687
I know you don't believe me,
638
00:24:35,830 --> 00:24:37,392
but that's what was
meant to happen.
639
00:24:40,611 --> 00:24:42,675
You know I'm right.
You know I'm right.
640
00:24:42,852 --> 00:24:43,912
Why didn't you kiss me?
641
00:24:43,989 --> 00:24:45,755
And then what?
642
00:24:45,828 --> 00:24:46,820
Huh? What?
643
00:24:46,898 --> 00:24:49,737
We date and you cheat
on me like you cheat
on your husband?
644
00:24:50,041 --> 00:24:51,409
I would never
cheat on you, Danny.
645
00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:56,317
'Cause you're the one
I'm supposed to be with.
646
00:24:58,467 --> 00:24:59,767
Hey, don't do that.
647
00:25:07,595 --> 00:25:10,195
No, no, no, no.
This is crazy.
This is crazy.
648
00:25:10,337 --> 00:25:12,708
Uh... Take a walk
around the block
649
00:25:12,811 --> 00:25:14,213
and go cool your
loins, okay?
650
00:25:14,550 --> 00:25:15,850
See? That's why
I need you!
651
00:25:15,922 --> 00:25:17,587
Because you say annoying
stuff like that, Danny.
652
00:25:17,661 --> 00:25:18,652
You make me
a better person
653
00:25:18,797 --> 00:25:20,428
and I make you
a better person.
No, no, no, no.
654
00:25:20,503 --> 00:25:22,338
You don't know what
you're talking about.
Okay, Mindy?
655
00:25:22,409 --> 00:25:25,179
Just do me a favor.
Go home. Go home.
656
00:25:25,886 --> 00:25:27,288
You have a husband.
657
00:25:27,558 --> 00:25:29,689
I don't want a husband!
I want you!
658
00:25:31,805 --> 00:25:32,796
Oh, God!
659
00:25:32,874 --> 00:25:34,869
Oh, God. Oh!
Hey. Hey, hey.
You're okay.
660
00:25:34,947 --> 00:25:36,475
You're just having
a bad dream, babe.
661
00:25:36,653 --> 00:25:38,146
It was so awful,
my God.
662
00:25:39,495 --> 00:25:41,262
It was like
It's a Wonderful Life,
663
00:25:42,003 --> 00:25:43,564
except it was in color
and it wasn't boring.
664
00:25:44,745 --> 00:25:46,306
You hated me.
665
00:25:46,383 --> 00:25:48,356
You were dating Freida Pinto.
She was such a bitch.
666
00:25:48,556 --> 00:25:49,582
What?
667
00:25:49,794 --> 00:25:52,062
I don't care
if we're not married.
668
00:25:52,368 --> 00:25:54,705
I just want to
be with you, okay?
669
00:25:56,180 --> 00:25:57,650
Me, too.
670
00:26:03,637 --> 00:26:05,107
Ah!
What the hell, man?
671
00:26:05,175 --> 00:26:07,410
I was so worried and mad!
Where have you been?
672
00:26:07,615 --> 00:26:09,109
I was in India.
673
00:26:10,291 --> 00:26:11,886
I was with your parents.
674
00:26:12,363 --> 00:26:14,563
Oh, no.
Did my mom sing?
675
00:26:15,005 --> 00:26:16,167
A little bit, yeah.
676
00:26:16,243 --> 00:26:18,944
I'm so sorry.
I told them
that I love you,
677
00:26:19,017 --> 00:26:20,419
but I don't believe
in marriage.
678
00:26:20,958 --> 00:26:22,188
I know.
679
00:26:22,261 --> 00:26:24,861
But when two strangers can
meet on their wedding day
680
00:26:24,936 --> 00:26:27,501
and still be in love 40 years
later, maybe I'm wrong.
681
00:26:28,983 --> 00:26:30,419
I'd like to be wrong.
682
00:26:32,259 --> 00:26:33,456
Mindy Lahiri,
683
00:26:40,050 --> 00:26:41,212
will you marry me?
684
00:26:43,828 --> 00:26:45,230
Yes.
685
00:26:45,568 --> 00:26:46,594
Yes, yes.
686
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,008
Oh, my God.
687
00:26:49,111 --> 00:26:50,239
Oh, my God.
688
00:26:51,612 --> 00:26:55,621
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