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1
00:00:25,390 --> 00:00:26,982
Where?
2
00:00:30,129 --> 00:00:33,258
Sweetheart! Where have you been? I've
been waiting here this whole time.
3
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:35,427
Let's go in!
No, no, no, no, no.
4
00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:37,494
It's The Godfather II.
The movie that raised me.
5
00:00:37,572 --> 00:00:39,335
If I'm not in my seat before
the trivia game,
6
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:42,241
the whole film-going experience
is ruined for me. It's ruined.
7
00:00:42,311 --> 00:00:43,573
Baby, what are you
talking about?
8
00:00:43,646 --> 00:00:46,047
The whole film-going experience
is checking your phone,
9
00:00:46,116 --> 00:00:48,778
people watching, and
over-the-pants make out. Honk.
10
00:00:48,852 --> 00:00:49,841
Hey, don't do that here.
11
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:51,786
Yeah. It was cool.
All right, let's go. Come on.
12
00:00:51,856 --> 00:00:55,884
Hey, uh, can we get two tickets?
One adult and one child.
13
00:00:55,961 --> 00:00:57,519
I'm sorry, we're sold out.
14
00:00:57,596 --> 00:00:58,654
What?
What?
15
00:00:58,731 --> 00:01:00,700
You've been here for an hour
and you didn't buy tickets?
16
00:01:00,767 --> 00:01:02,564
When's it playing next?
Tomorrow at noon.
17
00:01:02,636 --> 00:01:03,729
Tomorrow at noon.
Let's get out of here.
18
00:01:03,804 --> 00:01:05,567
How would anyone wanna see this movie?
Because you were late.
19
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:06,698
I've never even
heard of it. Okay?
20
00:01:06,774 --> 00:01:08,174
You've never heard of
The Godfather?
21
00:01:08,309 --> 00:01:14,510
Ripped By mstoll
22
00:01:14,751 --> 00:01:15,740
Hey.
23
00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:19,945
Huh, according to my genuine
quartz accuracy, you're late.
24
00:01:20,024 --> 00:01:21,515
What?
You're late.
25
00:01:21,593 --> 00:01:26,258
I'm not late. It's 9:18, which is
practically 9:15, which is basically 9:00.
26
00:01:26,332 --> 00:01:27,959
Danny, if anything, I'm early.
27
00:01:28,034 --> 00:01:31,869
Mindy. We've been dating for seven months
and you're never on time for anything.
28
00:01:31,938 --> 00:01:36,774
Okay. Occasionally being late is just part
of my spontaneous and fun deal, Danny.
29
00:01:36,844 --> 00:01:38,312
You have to take the bad
with the good.
30
00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:40,575
Why can't I just take the good with
the good? Like you get with me.
31
00:01:40,649 --> 00:01:43,084
What are you talking about? I have to
go to church with you every Sunday.
32
00:01:43,153 --> 00:01:44,142
I'm not even Catholic.
33
00:01:44,220 --> 00:01:46,484
Sweetheart, don't be mad.
Okay.
34
00:01:46,556 --> 00:01:47,854
Okay? Good morning.
35
00:01:47,925 --> 00:01:49,085
Good morning.
36
00:01:50,928 --> 00:01:53,022
Dr. Castellano,
do you have a moment?
37
00:01:53,098 --> 00:01:55,066
Dr. Fishman, yes,
of course.
38
00:01:55,534 --> 00:01:58,902
Oh, boy. Pardon me for
the mess. I feel really...
39
00:01:59,439 --> 00:02:02,136
Move that.
...embarrassed.
40
00:02:02,576 --> 00:02:04,602
Just kidding.
I'm a real neatnik.
41
00:02:04,679 --> 00:02:05,941
Okay. You want me to
call the others?
42
00:02:06,014 --> 00:02:07,038
No.
I'll just get 'em in here?
43
00:02:07,115 --> 00:02:08,811
Actually I just
wanna talk to you.
44
00:02:09,218 --> 00:02:11,778
Okay. There's a new
mental health seminar
45
00:02:11,854 --> 00:02:15,689
that I'm starting for at-risk
hospital personnel. Boom.
46
00:02:15,759 --> 00:02:19,753
I think you could benefit by having an
outlet for your uncomfortable feelings.
47
00:02:19,831 --> 00:02:21,731
Wait a minute. My mental
health is perfect. Okay?
48
00:02:21,799 --> 00:02:24,360
And I do have an outlet.
His name's Father Francis,
49
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:26,337
he's 97 and he
only speaks Latin.
50
00:02:26,406 --> 00:02:29,773
Stop it. The last time I saw you,
you threatened to kill yourself
51
00:02:29,843 --> 00:02:31,607
because your girlfriend
kissed someone else.
52
00:02:31,679 --> 00:02:34,113
How are you and
Dr. Lahiri doing?
53
00:02:34,181 --> 00:02:36,082
You know, I'm worried
about the two of you.
54
00:02:36,151 --> 00:02:38,847
Oh, no, no. The only thing you need to
worry about is that I might murder her.
55
00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:40,115
But other than that...
56
00:02:40,189 --> 00:02:41,952
That was a joke.
I was joking.
57
00:02:42,024 --> 00:02:43,856
She's been late a lot recently.
58
00:02:43,927 --> 00:02:45,258
You know what?
Don't worry about it.
59
00:02:45,329 --> 00:02:47,991
Thank you for the brochure, I'm
gonna take a look at it right now.
60
00:02:48,066 --> 00:02:49,590
No, don't take a look at it.
Read it.
61
00:02:49,667 --> 00:02:51,134
I'm gonna... Yeah, I'm
gonna read it, of course.
62
00:02:51,202 --> 00:02:53,433
Thank you so much,
Dr. Fishman.
63
00:02:58,145 --> 00:03:00,545
Hey, Dr. P,
you're mad lonely, right?
64
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,276
Oh, yeah, why?
65
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:05,479
I wanna set you
up I wanna set you up, up
66
00:03:05,554 --> 00:03:07,112
Hey!
67
00:03:07,189 --> 00:03:08,451
With my best friend, Abby.
68
00:03:08,524 --> 00:03:10,322
Oh, cool.
So what's wrong with her?
69
00:03:10,393 --> 00:03:13,760
She's been looking for a strong-ass man.
But is now lowering her standards
70
00:03:13,830 --> 00:03:16,299
and I think you'd be
perfect. We're like twins.
71
00:03:16,367 --> 00:03:20,202
Twins, huh? Okay.
I gotta hit the gym then.
72
00:03:20,272 --> 00:03:22,035
Steal me some soap.
73
00:03:22,107 --> 00:03:23,632
Yeah!
74
00:03:29,550 --> 00:03:30,574
Evening.
75
00:03:30,651 --> 00:03:33,246
My boyfriend, Daniel
Castellano, made a reservation
76
00:03:33,321 --> 00:03:36,086
for Laffaboutit, "A night of New
York's best Italian-American comedy."
77
00:03:36,158 --> 00:03:37,648
Uh-huh.
Oh, great.
78
00:03:37,726 --> 00:03:41,128
My wife's cooking's so bad, I
begged the dog for his scraps.
79
00:03:45,803 --> 00:03:49,331
Oh, no! Look, look. J. Lo's
texting during my set?
80
00:03:49,408 --> 00:03:53,505
Hey! Hey, J. Lo! Who ya texting,
Ben Affleck?
81
00:03:54,581 --> 00:03:57,573
Actually, sir, uh, Jennifer Lopez
and Ben Affleck broke up years ago.
82
00:03:57,650 --> 00:04:01,417
Oh, well, good for her.
83
00:04:01,489 --> 00:04:03,014
And I'll tell you
something else, I got...
84
00:04:17,575 --> 00:04:19,737
What could be more compelling than
my set, huh? No, no, no, no, no.
85
00:04:19,812 --> 00:04:22,337
Oh, she's fighting with
her boyfriend, everybody.
86
00:04:22,414 --> 00:04:26,351
Okay. And he ditched her for
being chronically late.
87
00:04:26,820 --> 00:04:28,082
Oh!
88
00:04:28,422 --> 00:04:31,653
Maybe she should
take a hike! Oh!
89
00:04:31,726 --> 00:04:36,130
Take a hike! Take a hike!
Take a hike! Take a hike!
90
00:04:36,899 --> 00:04:38,595
You know what?
Do you know what?
91
00:04:38,668 --> 00:04:41,159
I will leave.
But I will never hike.
92
00:04:41,705 --> 00:04:45,938
Hah! Take a hike!
Take a hike!
93
00:04:47,379 --> 00:04:48,505
Hello, hello, hello.
94
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:51,072
Have any beautiful women of
color checked in tonight?
95
00:04:51,150 --> 00:04:52,378
Mmm-mmm.
96
00:04:52,718 --> 00:04:53,912
Blind date, huh?
97
00:04:53,986 --> 00:04:56,217
Uh, yeah.
I'm a little nervous.
98
00:04:56,890 --> 00:04:57,948
What's your date's name?
99
00:04:58,325 --> 00:05:00,658
Abby.
My name is Abby.
100
00:05:00,728 --> 00:05:04,062
Oh, the Abby that I'm meeting is
actually, um, like, really tall,
101
00:05:04,133 --> 00:05:07,535
gorgeous and, for lack of a
better word, African American.
102
00:05:07,604 --> 00:05:09,128
Oh, well, I'm meeting a doctor.
103
00:05:09,205 --> 00:05:10,502
Uh-huh. Uh, who looks
like Meat Loaf.
104
00:05:10,574 --> 00:05:14,011
Oh! Or it might have been
a meatloaf, I'm not sure.
105
00:05:14,078 --> 00:05:15,705
My friend Tamra
wasn't really clear.
106
00:05:16,648 --> 00:05:17,774
Tamra, huh?
107
00:05:19,585 --> 00:05:21,281
Well, uh, what do you do?
108
00:05:21,354 --> 00:05:23,345
Oh, I write historical
romance novels.
109
00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:25,119
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah.
110
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:26,420
I love to read.
Oh!
111
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:30,896
Well, uh, you should give
romance novels a try. Mmm.
112
00:05:30,966 --> 00:05:34,266
I mean, it's basically pornography you're
allowed to read on the subway. So...
113
00:05:34,337 --> 00:05:37,067
Oh, dang it.
I'm getting a text.
114
00:05:37,139 --> 00:05:40,337
Looks like a patient's going into
labor and there's no father.
115
00:05:40,410 --> 00:05:44,074
So the taxi cab driver is kinda the
surrogate now. So, I feel like I should...
116
00:05:44,148 --> 00:05:46,139
I'm sorry. Are you describing
Look Who's Talking?
117
00:05:46,217 --> 00:05:47,810
Ah, it's similar.
Oh.
118
00:05:47,886 --> 00:05:49,478
This is why you don't
wanna date me, you know?
119
00:05:49,555 --> 00:05:50,579
Yeah. Yeah,
it was good to meet you.
120
00:05:50,656 --> 00:05:51,885
Nice to meet you.
Yeah.
121
00:05:55,763 --> 00:05:59,494
Unbelievable. 9:13. Even after
last night, you're still late.
122
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:03,427
I'm giving you the silent
treatment, by the way.
123
00:06:03,505 --> 00:06:05,770
That's why I walked right
by you and didn't respond!
124
00:06:05,842 --> 00:06:08,573
Hey, hey. No one silent
treatments me.
125
00:06:08,646 --> 00:06:10,273
Oh, good, good,
everyone's in here.
126
00:06:10,347 --> 00:06:12,508
I was worried we'd have a
private conversation for once.
127
00:06:12,583 --> 00:06:14,449
You're welcome, Dr. Q!
128
00:06:14,519 --> 00:06:17,044
Is it a conversation, Danny? Because
it feels a lot more like a lecture.
129
00:06:17,122 --> 00:06:19,557
And not the good kind where I end up
stalking the professor at the end.
130
00:06:19,625 --> 00:06:22,857
All I'm saying is, you're never late for
a delivery or a hospital emergency.
131
00:06:22,929 --> 00:06:25,489
But, but a movie? A movie? And
suddenly, it's like I asked you
132
00:06:25,565 --> 00:06:27,693
to cut off your arm
or throw away your own trash.
133
00:06:27,769 --> 00:06:30,169
Because delivering a baby into
this world is as important
134
00:06:30,238 --> 00:06:32,173
as meeting my boyfriend
for a stupid movie.
135
00:06:32,241 --> 00:06:34,836
You and I do the same job,
I get everywhere on time.
136
00:06:34,911 --> 00:06:36,242
Yeah, 'cause you're a guy.
137
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:38,644
I can't just deliver a baby, throw
some talc on my private parts
138
00:06:38,715 --> 00:06:41,207
and be somewhere three minutes later!
I gotta shower, my friend.
139
00:06:41,285 --> 00:06:43,413
I gotta shave this hot body
from ankles to eyebrows.
140
00:06:43,488 --> 00:06:45,388
Also, I have to
highlight and contour everything,
141
00:06:45,457 --> 00:06:47,516
just so that you'll have sex
with me. I'm basically CGI.
142
00:06:47,592 --> 00:06:50,585
Right and you're forgetting the
most important part, Dr. L, CPT.
143
00:06:50,663 --> 00:06:53,224
Thank you, Tamra. That's
right, Colored People Time.
144
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:55,666
Whoa!
No, no, no, no, no.
145
00:06:55,736 --> 00:06:58,763
I meant, CPT,
Caramel Princess Time.
146
00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:01,173
When you're as cute as we
are, people wait for you.
147
00:07:01,243 --> 00:07:03,609
I wanna believe you. It does
sounds like a huge load of crap.
148
00:07:03,679 --> 00:07:05,944
I'm not saying "no," I just need
you to continue explaining.
149
00:07:06,016 --> 00:07:08,576
No, this is all nonsense,
okay? There's no CPT.
150
00:07:08,652 --> 00:07:10,746
You're either on time
or you're late.
151
00:07:10,822 --> 00:07:12,585
Ooh! Maybe if you
were late just once,
152
00:07:12,657 --> 00:07:13,886
you would realize it
wasn't a big deal.
153
00:07:13,959 --> 00:07:16,052
Oh, yeah? Well, that's never
gonna happen, sweetheart.
154
00:07:16,128 --> 00:07:17,254
I'm never gonna be late.
155
00:07:17,329 --> 00:07:19,161
Watch and learn.
156
00:07:19,232 --> 00:07:20,290
Hmm.
157
00:07:21,267 --> 00:07:23,293
- We need to talk to you.
- Ow! Hey! Calm down!
158
00:07:23,370 --> 00:07:25,167
Get on in there with your
stupid messenger bag.
159
00:07:25,239 --> 00:07:28,300
Take it easy! Shameful. How
could you ditch Abby, man?
160
00:07:28,376 --> 00:07:32,211
She's the complete package.
Head, shoulders, knees, toes.
161
00:07:32,281 --> 00:07:34,078
Knees and toes,
she's got it all.
162
00:07:34,150 --> 00:07:38,349
I'm sorry! I was just expecting someone
who was more of a match physically.
163
00:07:38,822 --> 00:07:40,984
A match physically?
You said twins!
164
00:07:41,059 --> 00:07:42,083
Who do you think you are?
165
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,493
What, you think Natalie Portman
is sitting in her castle, like,
166
00:07:44,563 --> 00:07:48,090
"Oh, I wonder if there are any schlubs out
there who wear a bathing suit as underwear"?
167
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:49,931
Natalie Portman would
throw up if she saw you.
168
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,527
You need to go
apologize to Abby.
169
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,597
She'll be at the bookstore tomorrow.
What are you gonna be doing?
170
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:56,234
Eating pretzels off the floor?
Yeah, I saw it!
171
00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:57,671
Fine, I'll go.
172
00:08:03,086 --> 00:08:04,815
Psst! Danny,
are you awake?
173
00:08:05,555 --> 00:08:08,650
Hey, Danny, I think
Rudy Giuliani's a clown.
174
00:08:22,209 --> 00:08:23,939
Good night,
sweet prince. Honk.
175
00:08:28,651 --> 00:08:31,586
Hey, Min! Hey.
Hey.
176
00:08:31,654 --> 00:08:33,589
What's going on? You're up early.
Wow. Hey.
177
00:08:33,657 --> 00:08:36,649
Why don't you come upstairs, my
little early bird, and get the worm?
178
00:08:36,727 --> 00:08:39,628
Oh! That's a super-sexy
offer, but it's 8:40.
179
00:08:39,697 --> 00:08:41,359
Aren't you worried about
being late to work?
180
00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:42,866
8:40? What are you talking about?
No. Yeah.
181
00:08:42,935 --> 00:08:45,233
It's 7:40.
Oh, really?
182
00:08:47,607 --> 00:08:49,803
You tinkered with my digital?
Why would you do that?
183
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:51,811
Why would you do that
to me? Betrayal!
184
00:08:51,879 --> 00:08:53,403
Oh, boo-hoo.
You know what betrayal was?
185
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:54,641
When you ditched me at
that comedy club.
186
00:08:54,716 --> 00:08:56,513
The guy told me to take a hike.
The audience loved it.
187
00:08:56,585 --> 00:08:58,018
Now he wants me to go
on tour with him!
188
00:08:58,588 --> 00:09:01,580
Don't worry, sweetheart. I'll just tell
everyone at work that you're running late!
189
00:09:01,657 --> 00:09:03,091
Bye, my love.
Step on it.
190
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,526
Open the door. Open the door.
Don't take off!
191
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:09,789
Taxi! Taxi! I'm not gonna
be late. I'm not.
192
00:09:12,438 --> 00:09:14,099
So, I have to
apologize to a girl,
193
00:09:14,173 --> 00:09:15,971
which is something I've
literally never done before.
194
00:09:16,042 --> 00:09:17,304
Mmm-hmm.
Is Danny in?
195
00:09:20,982 --> 00:09:24,247
Oh, Danny. Danny is not in because...
Everyone, I have an announcement.
196
00:09:24,318 --> 00:09:26,947
Danny Castellano
will be late today.
197
00:09:27,022 --> 00:09:28,455
I made it! I made it.
198
00:09:28,523 --> 00:09:31,084
Danny Castellano is on time!
199
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:34,722
8:59, I made it!
In your face, Lahiri!
200
00:09:34,798 --> 00:09:35,890
Honk!
201
00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:37,992
Can't make me late.
Take a hike! Boom!
202
00:09:38,069 --> 00:09:41,004
Take another one.
Boom! Boom, boom!
203
00:09:41,072 --> 00:09:44,304
Take a hike, boom!
Morgan, take a hike! Boom!
204
00:09:44,377 --> 00:09:49,247
Boom! Michael Jackson!
Ah! Boom, boom, boom!
205
00:09:52,153 --> 00:09:54,053
Dr. Fishman.
206
00:09:54,122 --> 00:09:56,353
Go talk in my office? Yeah,
let's talk in my office.
207
00:09:58,193 --> 00:10:00,662
Your emotional issues
are out of control.
208
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:03,996
And I insist that you take that
mental health seminar tomorrow.
209
00:10:04,068 --> 00:10:06,059
Okay. As much as I don't
want to, I also can't.
210
00:10:06,137 --> 00:10:08,936
Saturdays, that's when I take
my ma to run all her errands.
211
00:10:09,007 --> 00:10:10,269
Hmm, here's the thing.
212
00:10:10,342 --> 00:10:11,775
Until you complete the seminar,
213
00:10:11,843 --> 00:10:15,007
you are suspended from seeing
patients in my hospital.
214
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,339
Get into that.
215
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:18,112
I'd rather not
get into that.
216
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:20,016
Well, take the course
at your leisure,
217
00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:24,252
whenever you find time to fit it
into your busy schedule. Hmm?
218
00:10:24,326 --> 00:10:25,988
It takes place in this building.
219
00:10:26,062 --> 00:10:28,758
In this building? Who
administers the course?
220
00:10:29,298 --> 00:10:33,258
Only the most kind, dynamic,
spiritual man I know.
221
00:10:34,071 --> 00:10:35,164
Oh, no.
222
00:10:35,907 --> 00:10:39,810
I've longed for this day, Daniel.
The day I can finally fix you.
223
00:10:42,114 --> 00:10:43,241
Hey, babe.
224
00:10:43,616 --> 00:10:46,608
You. I can't
even look at you.
225
00:10:46,686 --> 00:10:49,884
Delorea hugged me on the way out and I
accidentally kissed him on the ear.
226
00:10:49,957 --> 00:10:51,892
Oh, God.
Danny, I'm so sorry.
227
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,986
This can't be worse than the time that I
shredded your passport for confetti, is it?
228
00:10:55,063 --> 00:10:57,089
Oh, yeah.
It's much worse, okay?
229
00:10:57,166 --> 00:10:59,361
I'm supposed to take Ma to all
her appointments on Saturday.
230
00:10:59,435 --> 00:11:02,462
Without me, she won't go! A parent
of divorce needs routine, Mindy.
231
00:11:02,539 --> 00:11:03,631
They need routine.
I know.
232
00:11:04,274 --> 00:11:07,972
Well, you were just running errands and
she was gonna get her hair done, right?
233
00:11:08,046 --> 00:11:10,948
Yeah. I could take her.
I love beauty shops.
234
00:11:11,017 --> 00:11:13,646
Please. Please let me make it up
to you, Danny. I feel so bad.
235
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:15,347
You literally have
no other options.
236
00:11:17,424 --> 00:11:20,360
Whoa. What, is the dude
that wrote Harry Potter here?
237
00:11:20,428 --> 00:11:22,363
No. We're here for Abby Berman.
238
00:11:24,199 --> 00:11:25,393
Berman.
239
00:11:26,135 --> 00:11:29,128
"Savannah unbuttoned
Edmund's uniform trousers.
240
00:11:29,205 --> 00:11:34,872
"Edmund LaRouge, I do believe we can
take Maryland with this saber. "
241
00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,470
This is good.
242
00:11:36,548 --> 00:11:40,781
"He don't deserve a burial! He's a Yankee!
' Savannah hissed.
243
00:11:40,853 --> 00:11:46,520
"Edmund shook his head, He may have
been a Yankee, but he was still a man."
244
00:11:46,593 --> 00:11:47,685
Yeah.
245
00:11:48,897 --> 00:11:50,956
Hey, are you gonna buy that?
246
00:11:51,032 --> 00:11:52,693
Abby, your book is so good!
247
00:11:52,767 --> 00:11:54,861
Yeah, I know. Did you come
here to tell me that?
248
00:11:54,937 --> 00:11:57,201
Actually, I came here
to apologize.
249
00:11:57,274 --> 00:11:59,742
But I've been reading your book,
and you have all these fans.
250
00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:01,938
And I don't wanna apologize.
I'd like to go out again!
251
00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:04,641
You ditched me because you
didn't like the way I looked.
252
00:12:04,715 --> 00:12:06,581
I know.
253
00:12:07,319 --> 00:12:09,184
Listen. You're a jerk.
254
00:12:09,888 --> 00:12:12,585
Yeah. Yeah, no,
you're right about that.
255
00:12:18,132 --> 00:12:19,122
Paul?
256
00:12:19,201 --> 00:12:20,190
Hey.
257
00:12:20,802 --> 00:12:22,997
How'd you get dragged out
of the blood lab for this?
258
00:12:23,071 --> 00:12:24,562
I'll tell you when
I figure it out.
259
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,938
Nowadays you fart too loud and
you gotta go to counseling.
260
00:12:27,009 --> 00:12:28,739
Yeah.
Tell me about it, brother.
261
00:12:29,947 --> 00:12:33,440
All right, everyone. Oh, Daniel.
Let's get started.
262
00:12:34,853 --> 00:12:37,721
Thank you, welcome and,
of course, namaste.
263
00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:40,885
I am overjoyed that you've decided
to share your time with me today.
264
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:43,452
I didn't
realize we had a choice.
265
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:46,295
Well, we always have a choice, Daniel.
Does that follow?
266
00:12:46,367 --> 00:12:48,528
Yeah, Danny, does that follow?
267
00:12:48,603 --> 00:12:50,094
That's humorous, gentlemen.
268
00:12:50,172 --> 00:12:53,835
Paul, would you care to share the choice
that resulted in your attendance here today?
269
00:12:53,910 --> 00:12:55,639
Yeah, I got nothing to hide.
270
00:12:55,712 --> 00:12:58,180
I've been stealing blood from the
hospital for my own personal use.
271
00:12:58,249 --> 00:12:59,341
Wait, what?
272
00:12:59,416 --> 00:13:03,012
Okay, you think that's bad, my
female boss is in love with me!
273
00:13:03,088 --> 00:13:04,988
Oh, Morgan. What the
hell are you doing here?
274
00:13:05,056 --> 00:13:08,117
Also, I'm addicted to cookies.
My name's Morgan.
275
00:13:08,628 --> 00:13:11,530
Daniel, are you feeling safe enough
to share why you're here today?
276
00:13:11,598 --> 00:13:14,431
Wait. What? No. No,
I'm not feeling safe enough.
277
00:13:14,501 --> 00:13:17,630
Don't lump me in with these freaks.
Okay? I'm a normal. Pass.
278
00:13:17,705 --> 00:13:21,198
Well, you're free to go any time.
I won't stand in your way.
279
00:13:21,277 --> 00:13:22,801
All right.
See you later, Paul.
280
00:13:22,878 --> 00:13:24,710
I am, however, going to
give you an incomplete
281
00:13:24,781 --> 00:13:26,806
and recommend further
mental evaluation.
282
00:13:26,883 --> 00:13:28,544
You gotta be kidding me.
283
00:13:28,618 --> 00:13:29,847
Namaste.
284
00:13:30,555 --> 00:13:32,420
Hey. Annette, do you
need any help in there?
285
00:13:32,490 --> 00:13:35,016
Help? How old
do you think I am?
286
00:13:35,093 --> 00:13:36,958
We're not that different
in age, you know.
287
00:13:37,029 --> 00:13:40,522
Um, you are the oldest person I know's
mother, so that's obviously not true.
288
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,832
Okay, all right, you know,
just take your time.
289
00:13:43,904 --> 00:13:45,371
Ah, hello, Dot.
290
00:13:45,439 --> 00:13:47,305
It's so nice that you can
join us on our errands.
291
00:13:47,375 --> 00:13:50,401
I could drive us if they
hadn't taken my license away.
292
00:13:50,478 --> 00:13:53,448
I ran over my neighbor's
basset hound, big whoop.
293
00:13:53,516 --> 00:13:54,778
Call me when it's a person.
294
00:13:55,285 --> 00:13:56,513
Okay, well...
295
00:13:56,587 --> 00:13:58,782
God, I don't know why Danny gave us
an hour to get to the hair salon.
296
00:13:58,855 --> 00:14:00,016
It's only five minutes away.
297
00:14:01,025 --> 00:14:05,224
Oh, my goodness. Dot, will
you look at us? Twins!
298
00:14:05,297 --> 00:14:08,597
Oh, my God! Oh, my God. What are
the chances of that happening?
299
00:14:08,668 --> 00:14:10,295
Yes, that is remarkable.
Oh, you look great!
300
00:14:10,370 --> 00:14:11,598
Hey, we should head out.
Come on.
301
00:14:11,671 --> 00:14:13,196
No, no. Mindy, take a picture.
Oh, yeah!
302
00:14:13,274 --> 00:14:15,105
You gotta capture this
and email it to me
303
00:14:15,176 --> 00:14:17,270
and then print out the email
and hand it to me.
304
00:14:17,346 --> 00:14:19,439
Yeah. Let's do it.
Okay. Ready?
305
00:14:19,514 --> 00:14:20,640
One, two, three.
306
00:14:20,716 --> 00:14:21,706
Cheese!
Cheese!
307
00:14:21,784 --> 00:14:23,251
Got it. Let's go.
Come on, guys.
308
00:14:23,319 --> 00:14:24,650
Oh, no.
I gotta go change.
309
00:14:24,721 --> 00:14:26,053
Be right back.
Yeah, yeah.
310
00:14:26,123 --> 00:14:27,750
Oh, you were gonna change, okay.
311
00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:33,524
Please look into your partner's
eyes and repeat after me.
312
00:14:33,598 --> 00:14:34,759
"I support you."
313
00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:36,165
I support you.
314
00:14:36,235 --> 00:14:38,602
No way.
Brendan, he's not doing it.
315
00:14:38,672 --> 00:14:41,539
Daniel, I've given you a pass so far,
but your participation is now required
316
00:14:41,608 --> 00:14:42,700
for the class to continue.
317
00:14:42,776 --> 00:14:44,210
Fine. Whatever.
I support him.
318
00:14:45,246 --> 00:14:46,235
I think I'm cured.
319
00:14:46,314 --> 00:14:49,478
Okay. Now, "I love
and care for you."
320
00:14:49,551 --> 00:14:51,416
I want to make love
and care for you.
321
00:14:51,487 --> 00:14:53,752
Okay, come on! Brendan,
he's not helping me.
322
00:14:53,823 --> 00:14:55,917
You wanna switch partners?
My lady hates me.
323
00:14:55,993 --> 00:14:59,588
No. Look. I love
and care for you.
324
00:14:59,664 --> 00:15:01,997
Thank you.
I felt nothing.
325
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:04,262
Because I didn't mean it.
Okay? I didn't mean it.
326
00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:06,897
You're weird, okay? You're weird, Morgan.
The whole thing is weird.
327
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:08,406
You wanna stop acting crazy?
328
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:12,138
Eat lean protein and exercise 10
times a week like a normal person.
329
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:15,774
Okay, I can see now that this sort
of group therapy is too basic
330
00:15:15,850 --> 00:15:17,340
for someone as
closed-off as you.
331
00:15:17,419 --> 00:15:18,580
So basic.
332
00:15:18,654 --> 00:15:22,147
I'm gonna work on you
now, one-on-one.
333
00:15:22,693 --> 00:15:25,821
All right, you got your hair done.
It's mammogram time.
334
00:15:25,896 --> 00:15:28,422
Even though we are an hour late.
Come on. Come on.
335
00:15:28,499 --> 00:15:31,128
And I don't even know how I feel about
this hairstyle that you made me get.
336
00:15:31,203 --> 00:15:33,228
This is the only time you
ever looked pretty.
337
00:15:34,473 --> 00:15:36,965
Mindy, you're late.
I can't see her.
338
00:15:37,477 --> 00:15:39,708
Carolyn, I am so sorry.
But you have to understand.
339
00:15:39,780 --> 00:15:41,304
It took them forever
to leave the house.
340
00:15:41,382 --> 00:15:44,443
Then we went to the hair salon, they
made me get this Dixie Carter hairstyle.
341
00:15:44,519 --> 00:15:46,851
The point is, this woman
needs to get a mammogram.
342
00:15:46,922 --> 00:15:48,652
I promised my boyfriend.
Please.
343
00:15:48,725 --> 00:15:51,193
I'd love to, but I'm on
my way to cardio barre.
344
00:15:51,260 --> 00:15:52,853
Are you kidding me
with this, Carolyn?
345
00:15:52,930 --> 00:15:55,728
I picked you up off the floor of that
conference after you had 1,000 margaritas.
346
00:15:55,799 --> 00:15:57,233
You are not gonna
play that card.
347
00:15:57,302 --> 00:15:58,394
I will play that card.
348
00:15:58,470 --> 00:16:00,267
Oh, my God. Fine.
I'll do it.
349
00:16:00,338 --> 00:16:01,499
Thank you.
350
00:16:01,574 --> 00:16:05,271
Hey. How's Dr. Prentice?
He never called.
351
00:16:05,344 --> 00:16:08,940
Peter? Oh, God. Okay, well you
dodged a bullet with that one.
352
00:16:09,015 --> 00:16:11,382
What? Thank you. I'm sorry
that I had to blackmail you.
353
00:16:11,452 --> 00:16:13,010
Whatever.
Okay.
354
00:16:13,087 --> 00:16:16,717
Well, you just witnessed the
classic Mindy Lahiri charm.
355
00:16:16,792 --> 00:16:20,695
That's how I got my freshman year RA to
kiss me, even though he was gay. So...
356
00:16:20,764 --> 00:16:23,632
Well, we've just been talking,
and I don't wanna go anymore.
357
00:16:23,701 --> 00:16:25,669
It's too late.
And I'm too tired.
358
00:16:25,736 --> 00:16:26,828
Excuse me?
359
00:16:26,904 --> 00:16:29,032
I heard that those mammogram
machines actually give you cancer.
360
00:16:29,107 --> 00:16:30,904
That's right.
361
00:16:30,976 --> 00:16:32,569
I think Jenny McCarthy
said that on The View.
362
00:16:32,645 --> 00:16:35,876
Oh, well, there you go. Why would she say
something like that if it wasn't true?
363
00:16:35,948 --> 00:16:38,110
Hey, I'm gonna kill you guys.
I'm serious.
364
00:16:38,185 --> 00:16:41,519
You two bozos are the most inconsiderate
people that I have ever met.
365
00:16:41,589 --> 00:16:44,957
You're late for everything, you don't
care about anybody's time but your own.
366
00:16:45,027 --> 00:16:49,088
I can't believe it. I simply can't
believe it. It is appalling.
367
00:16:49,165 --> 00:16:50,997
No wonder Danny is such a tight-ass.
368
00:16:51,067 --> 00:16:52,295
Okay, you're gonna go with me.
369
00:16:52,369 --> 00:16:55,100
What are you doing?
Hey, look at me.
370
00:16:55,173 --> 00:16:56,834
You're gonna go in there. You're
gonna take your shirt off
371
00:16:56,908 --> 00:16:58,706
and you're gonna
get your mammogram.
372
00:16:58,777 --> 00:16:59,869
We're ready to go.
373
00:17:08,756 --> 00:17:11,248
So your particular episode
was the result of a fight
374
00:17:11,326 --> 00:17:13,920
between you and your girlfriend
who, full disclosure, class,
375
00:17:13,995 --> 00:17:15,759
I've made love to
on numerous occasions.
376
00:17:15,832 --> 00:17:17,356
Why did that need to be said?
377
00:17:17,433 --> 00:17:19,628
And the fight started
simply because she was late
378
00:17:19,702 --> 00:17:22,797
to which particular
ethnic exploitation film?
379
00:17:22,873 --> 00:17:24,739
The Godfather Part II.
380
00:17:24,809 --> 00:17:26,777
Right. Well, if it's not Swedish,
I'm not too familiar with it.
381
00:17:26,845 --> 00:17:29,974
But, who cares? She's late and you
miss the film. What's the big deal?
382
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:33,110
It's just principle. If you're
late, it's disrespectful.
383
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,746
Yeah, I don't buy it. Why did
this particular infraction
384
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,119
lead you to lash out?
385
00:17:37,191 --> 00:17:39,489
Oh, come on,
Delorea. I was just mad.
386
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,289
Well, what's the big deal? What's
the worst that can happen?
387
00:17:41,362 --> 00:17:43,797
My time is wasted, okay? I'm
sitting out there in the cold.
388
00:17:43,866 --> 00:17:45,390
I'm embarrassed.
I feel foolish!
389
00:17:45,467 --> 00:17:48,437
I don't buy it. What's the
worst that could happen?
390
00:17:51,308 --> 00:17:53,503
I don't know. Maybe she
doesn't show up at all.
391
00:17:53,577 --> 00:17:55,102
Why would she not show up?
392
00:17:56,948 --> 00:17:58,677
Because it's happened before.
393
00:17:58,750 --> 00:17:59,877
Keep going.
394
00:17:59,952 --> 00:18:03,445
Fine, I...
Maybe...
395
00:18:03,524 --> 00:18:06,254
I was supposed to go see
the Ghostbusters with my dad.
396
00:18:06,326 --> 00:18:07,623
He told me he was gonna take me.
397
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:09,663
And maybe I just sat on my
porch and I waited for him
398
00:18:09,731 --> 00:18:12,565
all night long and he never showed up.
And, maybe,
399
00:18:12,635 --> 00:18:17,903
I walked to the theater by myself and the
only tickets they had left was Amadeus.
400
00:18:19,075 --> 00:18:21,510
I was supposed to see
Egon and Slimer and Ray.
401
00:18:21,579 --> 00:18:23,979
And instead I'm looking
at F Murray Abraham's face!
402
00:18:24,048 --> 00:18:26,040
No kid should have to
look at that thing close up.
403
00:18:26,118 --> 00:18:28,552
I mean, if you love someone,
if you really love someone,
404
00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:29,952
why would you keep them waiting?
405
00:18:30,023 --> 00:18:31,422
Why would you keep them waiting?
406
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:40,558
Okay, I think there's more.
Keep going.
407
00:18:40,635 --> 00:18:42,068
No. That's it!
That's bedrock!
408
00:18:42,137 --> 00:18:43,901
No. Tell me about the priest.
There has to be a priest.
409
00:18:43,973 --> 00:18:45,133
What priest?
410
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,870
I think my
problem is I like stealing the blood.
411
00:18:47,945 --> 00:18:49,003
Okay, not now, Paul.
412
00:18:49,079 --> 00:18:50,740
Okay, this is my ma.
I gotta go.
413
00:18:50,814 --> 00:18:53,375
Oh, the priest and the mother.
We have hit pay dirt.
414
00:18:53,451 --> 00:18:55,920
Save that for next session. But
for now, I am proud of you.
415
00:18:57,222 --> 00:18:58,655
Hope, faith...
416
00:19:00,694 --> 00:19:01,820
Peter, what are you doing here?
417
00:19:02,295 --> 00:19:05,424
Hello. I've written a story
I'd like to read to you all.
418
00:19:05,499 --> 00:19:08,992
It's called A Titanic
Mistake, a Sunken Romance.
419
00:19:09,071 --> 00:19:10,538
Can you guess where
it takes place?
420
00:19:11,340 --> 00:19:13,138
The Titanic?
It's on the Titanic.
421
00:19:13,209 --> 00:19:17,111
"Chapter One. Dr. Peter Prentice
was an expert in medicine,
422
00:19:17,180 --> 00:19:20,639
"but a novice in love.
Until he met Abby."
423
00:19:20,718 --> 00:19:21,879
Are you hooked?
424
00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,682
Um, just keep reading.
425
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:27,357
"The old captain said,
426
00:19:27,426 --> 00:19:31,420
"Ar! Have ya ever heard that women
are like that iceberg over there?"
427
00:19:31,498 --> 00:19:33,830
"The most important part
is under the surface."
428
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:37,962
"Peter replied, stupidly, I say, ignore it.
We'll be fine."
429
00:19:38,039 --> 00:19:39,268
"Crash!"
430
00:19:39,341 --> 00:19:40,899
That's not
historically accurate.
431
00:19:40,976 --> 00:19:42,944
Hey, I'm sorry. Were you
there, John Waters?
432
00:19:43,012 --> 00:19:46,505
Maybe just skip forward
a little bit. I'm sorry.
433
00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:50,614
"And propelled by love, and the
dolphins..." Set up in chapter three.
434
00:19:50,688 --> 00:19:52,350
You remember the dolphins?
Mmm-hmm.
435
00:19:52,424 --> 00:19:56,383
You remember when I said the dolphins?
"They swam to safety." The end.
436
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:58,328
Well, that was terrible.
437
00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:01,229
But I, I kinda liked it.
438
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,067
Yeah?
Yeah.
439
00:20:04,138 --> 00:20:05,663
You wanna go on another date?
440
00:20:06,141 --> 00:20:07,233
Okay, sure.
441
00:20:07,308 --> 00:20:10,904
Great. You know, this was kinda fun.
I think I'll come back next week.
442
00:20:10,980 --> 00:20:12,971
Oh, no, you can never return.
443
00:20:13,049 --> 00:20:15,917
Okay, no problem.
Bye, new friends.
444
00:20:16,987 --> 00:20:18,512
You think
you outsmarted me?
445
00:20:18,589 --> 00:20:20,113
I'm not going anywhere.
446
00:20:20,191 --> 00:20:22,489
Hey. Who're you talking to?
447
00:20:23,128 --> 00:20:24,220
I've been locked out.
448
00:20:24,296 --> 00:20:30,497
The old Castellano lock-out, huh? Yeah.
I spent a lot of nights on this porch.
449
00:20:30,937 --> 00:20:32,838
Hey, I need to apologize to you.
450
00:20:32,907 --> 00:20:35,705
You're not some crusty, old
tyrant who enjoys yelling at me.
451
00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,768
You have to be this way
because you were raised
452
00:20:37,846 --> 00:20:39,336
by a bunch of thoughtless
spaghetti heads...
453
00:20:39,414 --> 00:20:41,406
Shh! ...who have no consideration
for anyone else's time.
454
00:20:41,484 --> 00:20:42,542
Don't say
spaghetti heads.
455
00:20:42,618 --> 00:20:44,108
I'm sorry I called them
spaghetti heads.
456
00:20:44,187 --> 00:20:46,213
I heard someone say it on a Nick
at Nite show. Is it offensive?
457
00:20:46,290 --> 00:20:49,351
Yes, it is, but I,
I appreciate it.
458
00:20:49,427 --> 00:20:50,621
Okay.
459
00:20:50,862 --> 00:20:52,727
I... Also, I think I...
460
00:20:53,365 --> 00:20:56,129
Sometimes I overreact
to you being late...
461
00:20:58,004 --> 00:21:00,234
Because of some stuff
with my dad.
462
00:21:00,941 --> 00:21:01,965
Oh.
463
00:21:04,078 --> 00:21:06,639
I would like to press further
for details, but I won't.
464
00:21:06,915 --> 00:21:07,973
Thank you.
465
00:21:08,050 --> 00:21:10,952
Anyway, I am very sorry and
I will never be late again.
466
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:12,954
I mean, I'm gonna really
try not to be.
467
00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:14,353
Come here.
468
00:21:16,594 --> 00:21:18,789
I like you on
a Staten Island porch.
469
00:21:18,863 --> 00:21:20,331
I would rather die.
470
00:21:21,433 --> 00:21:22,661
We need to go inside.
471
00:21:22,734 --> 00:21:25,169
I have to apologize to your mom,
and to Dot for some reason.
472
00:21:25,238 --> 00:21:28,402
Okay. I'm really
liking that hair.
473
00:21:28,475 --> 00:21:30,807
It's doing it for me right now.
You look like my aunt.
474
00:21:30,878 --> 00:21:35,680
What? What's wrong with you spaghetti
heads? Stop saying spaghetti heads.
475
00:21:38,991 --> 00:21:46,993
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