All language subtitles for The Mindy Project (2012) - S02E16 - Indian BBW (1080p Blu-ray x265 Panda).eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,554 --> 00:00:12,426 Danny. Danny. 2 00:00:12,427 --> 00:00:14,735 I-I don't want to have sex with you. 3 00:00:14,736 --> 00:00:16,440 Yeah, you're very classy. Noted. 4 00:00:16,441 --> 00:00:19,016 No. No, no, no. No, I mean it. 5 00:00:19,017 --> 00:00:20,989 We should stop. 6 00:00:20,990 --> 00:00:23,397 Okay. 7 00:00:23,431 --> 00:00:25,705 - I don't want to rush things. - "Rush things"? 8 00:00:25,706 --> 00:00:27,377 We've been kissing for, like, 20 minutes. 9 00:00:27,378 --> 00:00:28,850 That's like a week in guy minutes. 10 00:00:28,851 --> 00:00:30,589 Come on, don't I get credit for that? 11 00:00:30,623 --> 00:00:32,127 Danny, usually when I have sex with a guy, 12 00:00:32,128 --> 00:00:33,600 we've gone on at least five dates, 13 00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,105 or he's spent, like, $2,000 on me, 14 00:00:35,106 --> 00:00:36,342 whichever comes first. 15 00:00:36,343 --> 00:00:37,882 We've gone on hundreds of dates, hundreds. 16 00:00:37,916 --> 00:00:39,588 We've gone on doctors'-lounge dates, 17 00:00:39,589 --> 00:00:42,445 subway-commute dates, medical-conference dates. 18 00:00:42,465 --> 00:00:44,103 Okay, that's a good point. 19 00:00:44,104 --> 00:00:45,273 - Okay. - But, Danny... 20 00:00:45,308 --> 00:00:46,644 Can we just please wait? 21 00:00:48,419 --> 00:00:50,993 Do you realize there are literally thousands of girls 22 00:00:50,994 --> 00:00:53,401 in New York City that would kill to have sex with me right now? 23 00:00:53,436 --> 00:00:55,743 Okay, that seems untrue. It is true. 24 00:00:55,777 --> 00:00:57,450 I could call up any girl right now in my phone... 25 00:00:57,451 --> 00:00:58,453 Any girl! 26 00:00:58,487 --> 00:00:59,490 - You know what? - What? 27 00:00:59,491 --> 00:01:00,527 By all means, give 'em a call. 28 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,333 Oh, you want me to do it? Call 'em. 29 00:01:02,334 --> 00:01:04,775 Listen and learn. 30 00:01:04,776 --> 00:01:05,979 Hello? 31 00:01:05,980 --> 00:01:07,651 Hey, Abigail, what's up? It's Danny. 32 00:01:07,652 --> 00:01:09,424 - Danny? - Castellano. 33 00:01:09,425 --> 00:01:11,665 - Who? - "D-day"? 34 00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:13,104 No. 35 00:01:13,105 --> 00:01:14,876 It's, uh... it's lil d. 36 00:01:14,911 --> 00:01:16,415 Hello? 37 00:01:16,449 --> 00:01:18,656 Meredith, what are you up to right now? 38 00:01:18,657 --> 00:01:20,161 Uh, breast-feeding my son. 39 00:01:20,197 --> 00:01:22,543 Elizabeth, Susan, Billie. 40 00:01:22,570 --> 00:01:24,075 I know it sounds like a guy's name... it's a girl. 41 00:01:24,110 --> 00:01:26,183 Connie! Hey, pay attention... Connie. 42 00:01:26,218 --> 00:01:27,989 Her body would not stop. 43 00:01:27,990 --> 00:01:29,126 Oh, Connie's dead? 44 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,631 I'm so sorry. 45 00:01:30,665 --> 00:01:32,069 Well, what are you up to right now? 46 00:01:32,103 --> 00:01:34,244 Stop it. 47 00:01:34,245 --> 00:01:37,421 Okay. Don't beat yourself up. It's a numbers game. 48 00:01:37,455 --> 00:01:39,495 And you've only called, like, what, 25 girls? 49 00:01:39,529 --> 00:01:41,234 They're just afraid if they come over here right now, 50 00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:42,405 they're gonna get attached. 51 00:01:42,439 --> 00:01:45,182 You know, the pheromones, et cetera. - Hmm. 52 00:01:46,788 --> 00:01:48,794 Vanessa. Vanessa. 53 00:01:48,795 --> 00:01:51,202 Hey, Danny. Hey, Vanessa. What's going on? 54 00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:52,506 Got any plans tonight? 55 00:01:52,507 --> 00:01:54,714 Want to come over and rekindle the old flame? 56 00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,754 Sure, hon, but I should warn you... 57 00:01:56,788 --> 00:01:59,263 My rates have gone up. 58 00:01:59,264 --> 00:02:01,036 That was a wrong number. 59 00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:09,900 Good morning, colleagues. 60 00:02:09,901 --> 00:02:11,839 Danny, I brought your favorite breakfast... oatmeal, 61 00:02:11,874 --> 00:02:13,412 with a side of brown sugar. 62 00:02:13,446 --> 00:02:16,756 And by "brown sugar," I, of course, mean my butt. 63 00:02:16,791 --> 00:02:19,065 Peter? Where's Danny? 64 00:02:19,099 --> 00:02:20,637 Oh, you didn't hear? 65 00:02:20,638 --> 00:02:21,908 He came into his office this morning, 66 00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,314 and he was all sweaty and cranky. 67 00:02:23,315 --> 00:02:24,617 So I was like, "business as usual." 68 00:02:24,652 --> 00:02:26,324 - Yeah. - So I start telling him about my weekend, 69 00:02:26,358 --> 00:02:28,432 how I got blown off by four separate girls 70 00:02:28,466 --> 00:02:29,936 who all used the same excuse, 71 00:02:29,970 --> 00:02:31,475 which was, "I'm going back to graduate school," 72 00:02:31,509 --> 00:02:33,113 which if you don't mind me saying, 73 00:02:33,147 --> 00:02:34,954 I don't know how that precludes you from dating someone. 74 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,659 Anyway, he passed out. 75 00:02:36,660 --> 00:02:38,064 And I was like, "Danny, rude. 76 00:02:38,065 --> 00:02:39,369 I'm telling you about my weekend." 77 00:02:39,403 --> 00:02:40,773 Wait, wait, wait. What? What happened to Danny? 78 00:02:40,809 --> 00:02:43,584 He has viral meningitis... Brain fever. 79 00:02:43,619 --> 00:02:44,621 What? 80 00:02:45,826 --> 00:02:47,330 Oh, my God. Danny? 81 00:02:47,364 --> 00:02:49,203 I was so worried about you. 82 00:02:49,238 --> 00:02:50,741 You can't die. You have so much to live for. 83 00:02:50,742 --> 00:02:52,279 My birthday's coming up. 84 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:53,685 We haven't even talked about what you're gonna get me. 85 00:02:53,719 --> 00:02:55,223 Dr. L. 86 00:02:55,224 --> 00:02:57,899 Richie, you remember Mindy, my coworker. 87 00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:58,903 Coworker? 88 00:02:58,938 --> 00:03:00,442 Yeah. 89 00:03:00,443 --> 00:03:02,048 Okay. Yes. 90 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,620 Hello, Richard. 91 00:03:03,654 --> 00:03:05,158 Don't worry, Dr. L, I'm taking good care of him. 92 00:03:05,159 --> 00:03:06,864 I even brought him Mr. Neck. 93 00:03:06,865 --> 00:03:08,771 She doesn't need to know about that. 94 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:09,907 I don't know what that is. 95 00:03:12,016 --> 00:03:13,821 Richie, could you got find me the white nurse? 96 00:03:13,822 --> 00:03:15,260 Uh, sure. I'll be right back. 97 00:03:15,294 --> 00:03:17,134 Thanks, Richie. 98 00:03:17,168 --> 00:03:19,241 He'll be gone for hours. What the hell, man? 99 00:03:19,275 --> 00:03:20,946 I'm a coworker all of a sudden? 100 00:03:20,980 --> 00:03:22,352 Do I look like Morgan to you? 101 00:03:22,353 --> 00:03:23,489 'Cause people tell me that, and I do not like it. 102 00:03:23,524 --> 00:03:25,128 What? I didn't mean anything by it. 103 00:03:25,129 --> 00:03:27,000 We're just... you know, we're not having sex. 104 00:03:27,001 --> 00:03:29,441 So, technically, we're not... dating. 105 00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:32,286 Oh, I see how it is. Speaking of which... 106 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,999 You know what would make me feel a lot better right now? 107 00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:37,637 Yeah, cannoli. I brought you some, 108 00:03:37,638 --> 00:03:39,110 but I actually ate them on the way over here. 109 00:03:39,111 --> 00:03:40,280 I'm so sorry. 110 00:03:40,315 --> 00:03:42,053 No, not a cannoli, a little... 111 00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:43,324 What? 112 00:03:43,358 --> 00:03:45,064 Boop, boop. 113 00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:46,368 - Danny! - Just... 114 00:03:46,369 --> 00:03:47,539 Absolutely not! 115 00:03:47,540 --> 00:03:48,710 First of all, we're in public. 116 00:03:48,711 --> 00:03:49,980 Second of all, sex with me right now 117 00:03:49,981 --> 00:03:51,285 would kill you in this state. 118 00:03:51,286 --> 00:03:52,456 Your heart-rate monitor would be like, 119 00:03:52,457 --> 00:03:53,861 "beep-beep, beep-beep, beep-beep, beep..." 120 00:03:55,066 --> 00:03:56,638 No, no, we don't have to have sex, just like... 121 00:03:56,639 --> 00:03:58,645 Just graze it. I'm not gonna graze it! 122 00:03:58,646 --> 00:04:00,015 I'm so sick. 123 00:04:00,016 --> 00:04:01,721 I know. This is your brain fever making you a real pervert. 124 00:04:01,722 --> 00:04:03,294 Yeah, it's making me cra... It's making me so horny. 125 00:04:03,295 --> 00:04:04,632 I have something better than sex... 126 00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:06,773 Bridget Jones's diary... My favorite book. 127 00:04:06,774 --> 00:04:09,481 Whenever I'm sick, I read it, and I feel better. 128 00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:10,652 I thought I would read it to you. 129 00:04:10,687 --> 00:04:12,124 That's great. No, I'm... I'm good. 130 00:04:12,158 --> 00:04:14,031 I'm good on the Bridget Jones thing. 131 00:04:14,065 --> 00:04:17,676 I'm just gonna watch the, uh... The hospital info channel. 132 00:04:17,711 --> 00:04:19,885 Do you know they have a business center on the fourth floor? 133 00:04:19,886 --> 00:04:20,888 Hmm. 134 00:04:34,202 --> 00:04:35,873 Yeah. 135 00:04:35,874 --> 00:04:37,244 - What? - Come on, come on, come on! 136 00:04:37,279 --> 00:04:38,415 - What? - Come on, come on! 137 00:04:38,416 --> 00:04:39,720 Why did I have to run here? 138 00:04:39,721 --> 00:04:41,191 I got very sweaty on the way over here. 139 00:04:41,192 --> 00:04:43,867 - Come here. - Okay. 140 00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:46,544 It was just a normal day for me, like every other day... 141 00:04:46,545 --> 00:04:49,453 Eat my lunch at my desk, catch up on some pornography... 142 00:04:49,487 --> 00:04:50,757 What? 143 00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:52,363 When I came across this. 144 00:04:53,769 --> 00:04:55,407 What... You should not be do... 145 00:04:55,442 --> 00:04:56,711 Oh, you've ruined me for other men. 146 00:04:56,712 --> 00:04:57,949 Does that make you feel good? 147 00:04:57,950 --> 00:04:59,956 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, my God. 148 00:04:59,991 --> 00:05:01,762 I don't think I'll ever be able to have sex with another guy. 149 00:05:01,763 --> 00:05:02,832 Oh, my God! 150 00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:04,037 That's exactly what you say in the video. 151 00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:06,243 Okay, that's really good. 152 00:05:07,857 --> 00:05:09,027 What on earth were you thinking? 153 00:05:09,028 --> 00:05:10,465 Making a sex tape? 154 00:05:10,466 --> 00:05:12,539 Don't you know that means that creeps like me 155 00:05:12,540 --> 00:05:14,746 are gonna watch it? Oh, my God. Peter... 156 00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:18,126 Please promise me that you have not gratified yourself 157 00:05:18,127 --> 00:05:19,596 while you were watching this. 158 00:05:19,597 --> 00:05:21,671 - Oh, my God! - No, I didn't. 159 00:05:21,672 --> 00:05:23,344 Peter, can you please be more convincing than that? 160 00:05:23,345 --> 00:05:25,417 Just don't look up guiltily! 161 00:05:25,418 --> 00:05:26,856 Look me in the eye and tell me you didn't do it. 162 00:05:26,857 --> 00:05:28,126 I didn't? 163 00:05:28,127 --> 00:05:29,430 Oh, God. 164 00:05:29,431 --> 00:05:30,501 Oh, God. 165 00:05:30,502 --> 00:05:32,140 Look, I know this is bad 166 00:05:32,141 --> 00:05:34,181 for the whole practice. 167 00:05:34,182 --> 00:05:35,786 But I got to say, 168 00:05:35,787 --> 00:05:37,458 I've never met a real pornography actor 169 00:05:37,459 --> 00:05:38,629 up close and personal. 170 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:39,867 I'm kind of geeking out. 171 00:05:39,868 --> 00:05:41,373 I can't... I need to lie on the floor. 172 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:43,346 Can I ask you a question? 173 00:05:43,347 --> 00:05:45,353 You know, what was with that trumpet music? 174 00:05:45,354 --> 00:05:48,262 That was just my next-door neighbor practicing his trumpet. 175 00:05:48,263 --> 00:05:50,570 It's actually kind of beautiful if you listen to it. 176 00:05:50,571 --> 00:05:52,310 There is a very spirited debate about that 177 00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:54,016 in the comment section. 178 00:05:54,017 --> 00:05:56,223 The comment section? 179 00:05:56,224 --> 00:05:58,264 - Well, yeah, it's a video online. - Okay. 180 00:05:58,265 --> 00:06:00,974 Verified user bro-b/gyn says, 181 00:06:00,975 --> 00:06:03,215 "hey, I work with her." 182 00:06:03,216 --> 00:06:04,988 I told you I was geeking out. 183 00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:06,927 I gave it three stars. 184 00:06:06,928 --> 00:06:08,734 My life is over. 185 00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:10,573 My professional life is over, and my personal life is over. 186 00:06:10,574 --> 00:06:12,346 This is horrifying, Peter! 187 00:06:12,347 --> 00:06:15,089 And the worst part is I just started... 188 00:06:15,090 --> 00:06:17,029 Hanging out with this guy, 189 00:06:17,030 --> 00:06:20,206 a really special guy that I've liked for a long time. 190 00:06:20,207 --> 00:06:21,846 Well, that's great, right? 191 00:06:21,847 --> 00:06:24,990 No, if he sees this, I know it's gonna be over. 192 00:06:24,991 --> 00:06:26,663 This whole time I've been telling him 193 00:06:26,664 --> 00:06:28,201 I want to, like, "take it slow." 194 00:06:28,202 --> 00:06:31,112 - That doesn't sound like you. - I know! 195 00:06:33,621 --> 00:06:35,527 I tell you what... I can help. 196 00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:36,530 Really? 197 00:06:36,531 --> 00:06:38,002 In order to squash this, 198 00:06:38,003 --> 00:06:39,541 we need to go right to the source. 199 00:06:39,542 --> 00:06:41,748 No. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. 200 00:06:41,782 --> 00:06:43,187 - Oh, yeah. - No, no, no! 201 00:06:43,222 --> 00:06:45,094 - Yep. - Peter, please. I can't. 202 00:06:45,129 --> 00:06:47,234 ♪ 92.5 203 00:06:47,235 --> 00:06:48,538 all right, let's look here. 204 00:06:48,572 --> 00:06:50,747 Oh, the gums are looking nice. 205 00:06:50,781 --> 00:06:53,055 Yeah, you'd never know they came from a cadaver. 206 00:06:53,089 --> 00:06:54,559 Looks good. 207 00:06:54,594 --> 00:06:56,566 Very nice, Caroline. 208 00:06:56,601 --> 00:06:59,043 What are you doing here? 209 00:06:59,077 --> 00:07:01,584 - Tom. - Mindy! 210 00:07:01,618 --> 00:07:03,457 I need to speak to you about an urgent matter. 211 00:07:03,492 --> 00:07:04,796 Look, Mindy, we're not dating anymore. 212 00:07:04,797 --> 00:07:06,000 So I can't give you free toothbrushes. 213 00:07:06,034 --> 00:07:07,505 I already got my free toothbrushes. 214 00:07:07,506 --> 00:07:08,775 So joke's on you. Come on. 215 00:07:08,810 --> 00:07:10,348 Just hold on a moment. 216 00:07:10,349 --> 00:07:11,485 Come on, come on! 217 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:12,590 Faster! Move it or lose it. 218 00:07:12,624 --> 00:07:14,027 Let's go. 219 00:07:14,061 --> 00:07:15,967 Hey, why is our sex tape on the Internet? 220 00:07:16,001 --> 00:07:17,807 I-I had nothing to do with that. 221 00:07:17,842 --> 00:07:19,881 I swear on my mother's grave, 222 00:07:19,915 --> 00:07:22,123 I had nothing to do with that. 223 00:07:22,124 --> 00:07:23,660 No, wait. I... 224 00:07:23,661 --> 00:07:24,966 I had something to do with that. 225 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,704 Oh, my gosh. 226 00:07:26,739 --> 00:07:28,711 I lent it to my brother when he got divorced. 227 00:07:28,746 --> 00:07:30,105 - What? - If it makes any difference, 228 00:07:30,106 --> 00:07:31,287 it really helped. 229 00:07:31,288 --> 00:07:32,491 He had a bad case of the blues. 230 00:07:32,526 --> 00:07:34,131 I am very sorry. 231 00:07:34,132 --> 00:07:35,435 This is Peter, my colleague. This is Tom. 232 00:07:35,469 --> 00:07:36,470 Tom, Peter. 233 00:07:36,472 --> 00:07:37,843 Super disappointed in you, man. 234 00:07:37,877 --> 00:07:39,080 Yes. 235 00:07:39,115 --> 00:07:40,419 I am also pretty psyched to meet you. 236 00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:41,589 You're my new favorite male porn star. 237 00:07:41,624 --> 00:07:42,994 Shut up. 238 00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:45,637 Look, I just started dating my dental assistant, okay? 239 00:07:45,638 --> 00:07:48,079 I don't need this. We're coming up on our two-month anniversary, 240 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:49,249 so stop it with the porn... 241 00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:51,089 Hey... We're out of gauze. 242 00:07:51,123 --> 00:07:52,495 Should I order gauze? 243 00:07:52,529 --> 00:07:55,740 Yeah, angel, do whatever you want, okay? 244 00:07:55,741 --> 00:07:57,545 Boop. 245 00:08:02,630 --> 00:08:04,035 I mean, how am I supposed to get anything done 246 00:08:04,036 --> 00:08:05,273 with that in my face all day? 247 00:08:05,307 --> 00:08:06,810 Okay. 248 00:08:06,845 --> 00:08:08,182 Look, okay, 249 00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:09,721 I'll destroy that tape the minute I get home, okay? 250 00:08:09,755 --> 00:08:11,427 - Thank you. - No way, buddy. 251 00:08:11,428 --> 00:08:12,798 You gotta bring that tape to Mindy. 252 00:08:12,799 --> 00:08:14,684 No man in history has ever destroyed a sex tape. 253 00:08:14,705 --> 00:08:16,846 Uh-huh. Thank you, my slimy friend. 254 00:08:16,847 --> 00:08:19,689 That's a good point. You are not destroying it. 255 00:08:19,723 --> 00:08:21,328 You're gonna bring it to my office, 256 00:08:21,362 --> 00:08:23,769 place it on my desk, and you're gonna close the door behind you, 257 00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:26,278 - today. - I'll do it today. 258 00:08:26,279 --> 00:08:28,151 And what if Margo found out? 259 00:08:28,152 --> 00:08:31,630 I shot that before she turned me super Christian. 260 00:08:31,664 --> 00:08:34,039 Hey, who's uncomfortable? 261 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,543 Okay, this is great. 262 00:08:35,544 --> 00:08:36,948 You know what? 263 00:08:36,949 --> 00:08:38,989 I'll just destroy that tape before anyone important sees it. 264 00:08:38,990 --> 00:08:40,962 Mindy, it's on the Internet. 265 00:08:40,963 --> 00:08:43,170 We have to go to sploders.com and get them to take it down. 266 00:08:43,204 --> 00:08:44,273 No, no, no. 267 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,711 I'm not gonna go to some seedy warehouse 268 00:08:45,712 --> 00:08:47,151 where they make porns, okay? 269 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,655 And have to deal with some gross slime-os. 270 00:08:48,656 --> 00:08:50,796 I'm not gonna do that! You're being pretty close-minded 271 00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:52,669 for a girl who just got her start in porn. 272 00:08:52,703 --> 00:08:54,175 Okay. 273 00:08:54,209 --> 00:08:56,516 Let me ask you something, a little advice... 274 00:08:56,551 --> 00:08:58,222 In the love department. 275 00:08:58,256 --> 00:08:59,293 Oh, okay. 276 00:08:59,327 --> 00:09:03,708 My colleague Mindy and I... We, uh... 277 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:06,182 We've been, you know... 278 00:09:06,183 --> 00:09:07,755 - Kissing. - Oh! 279 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,026 But just kissing. 280 00:09:09,027 --> 00:09:10,733 She doesn't want to have sex with me yet. 281 00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:12,203 I mean, she's no prude. 282 00:09:12,204 --> 00:09:14,612 You know, I've seen her number on two different bathroom walls 283 00:09:14,613 --> 00:09:16,720 in her own handwriting. 284 00:09:16,721 --> 00:09:19,664 I don't know. You know, Richie... 285 00:09:19,665 --> 00:09:21,035 Maybe she doesn't like me? 286 00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:23,341 Come on. Of course she likes you. 287 00:09:23,342 --> 00:09:28,059 Maybe she just wants to take it a little slow because... 288 00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:29,396 She knows how judgmental you can be. 289 00:09:29,431 --> 00:09:30,668 What do you mean? I'm not judgmental. 290 00:09:30,669 --> 00:09:32,073 No, you're right. You're right. 291 00:09:32,074 --> 00:09:33,879 Hey, did I tell you that I'm thinking of leasing a car 292 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,350 instead of buying? 293 00:09:35,351 --> 00:09:37,491 Oh, yeah, that's great, Richie. That's real great. 294 00:09:37,492 --> 00:09:39,565 Have fun not building up a credit history. 295 00:09:39,566 --> 00:09:40,770 Are you kidding me? 296 00:09:40,771 --> 00:09:42,810 You know what? Next time I buy you a Suze Orman book, 297 00:09:42,811 --> 00:09:44,482 I'm gonna throw it in the trash myse... 298 00:09:44,516 --> 00:09:45,620 Okay, I get it. 299 00:09:45,621 --> 00:09:47,191 You're testing me. You're testing me. 300 00:09:47,226 --> 00:09:49,366 Danny, if Mindy wants to take things slow, 301 00:09:49,367 --> 00:09:51,105 you have to accept that... 302 00:09:51,106 --> 00:09:53,681 Just like you're gonna want her to accept, one day, 303 00:09:53,715 --> 00:09:56,055 that you don't like turning on the heat in the winter. 304 00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:58,096 Why, to heat up a drawer full of unused sweaters? 305 00:09:58,130 --> 00:09:59,535 You want to get warm, 306 00:09:59,536 --> 00:10:02,613 get on the floor and do some push-ups, okay? 307 00:10:02,647 --> 00:10:04,284 Okay, look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 308 00:10:06,492 --> 00:10:10,205 ♪ 92.5 309 00:10:10,239 --> 00:10:11,376 sorry to keep you waiting. 310 00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:13,114 Spring is our horny season. 311 00:10:13,149 --> 00:10:14,754 - Of course. - By the way... 312 00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:16,928 I'm a big fan of your work. 313 00:10:16,963 --> 00:10:19,337 Oh, God, kill me. 314 00:10:19,372 --> 00:10:22,414 So we understand you would like us to take down your video, 315 00:10:22,415 --> 00:10:24,086 and we hear you. 316 00:10:24,087 --> 00:10:25,926 Integrity is the Hallmark of Sploders 317 00:10:25,927 --> 00:10:27,866 and the sploders family of porn websites. 318 00:10:27,901 --> 00:10:29,940 Oh, cool. So you'll do it. 319 00:10:29,974 --> 00:10:31,746 Sploders is a family business. 320 00:10:31,747 --> 00:10:35,125 In 1922, our grandfather Irwin Fleischman 321 00:10:35,126 --> 00:10:36,965 arrived at Ellis Island, 322 00:10:36,966 --> 00:10:38,603 took one look at the Statue of Liberty, 323 00:10:38,604 --> 00:10:41,915 and thought, "I wonder what she's got going on under there." 324 00:10:41,950 --> 00:10:44,524 - And sploders was born. - Wow. 325 00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:47,735 Grandpa believed you shouldn't have to go to the museum 326 00:10:47,736 --> 00:10:49,274 to see a naked woman. 327 00:10:49,275 --> 00:10:52,417 Miss you, pop-pop! Horny freak. 328 00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:56,098 Unfortunately, we can't oblige your request. 329 00:10:56,099 --> 00:10:57,971 You see, as it turns out, there is a growing market 330 00:10:57,972 --> 00:10:59,543 for Indian BBWs. 331 00:10:59,577 --> 00:11:00,747 Wait. 332 00:11:00,781 --> 00:11:02,219 What's a BBW? 333 00:11:02,253 --> 00:11:04,126 Oh, you... you don't have to explain that for her. 334 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:05,831 Oh, I have to guess it. 335 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:09,577 Okay. Um, is it, like, "brainy birdlike wife" material? 336 00:11:09,612 --> 00:11:11,016 No, it means "big beautiful woman." 337 00:11:11,050 --> 00:11:13,257 What... the hell? 338 00:11:13,291 --> 00:11:15,264 "Beautiful woman" is in there. 339 00:11:15,298 --> 00:11:17,371 But also "big." Are you kidding me? 340 00:11:17,405 --> 00:11:19,813 Look at these wrists. Look at how dainty they are! 341 00:11:19,814 --> 00:11:22,690 They can barely hold up the enormous calzones that I eat. 342 00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,831 The problem is here, guys, 343 00:11:24,832 --> 00:11:27,472 that there aren't very many Indian women in this country 344 00:11:27,473 --> 00:11:29,011 that have the kind of loose morals 345 00:11:29,012 --> 00:11:31,419 that allow them to star in these videos. 346 00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:32,758 Most of them become doctors. 347 00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:33,828 Well, I am a doctor! 348 00:11:33,862 --> 00:11:34,865 Right. Right. 349 00:11:34,866 --> 00:11:36,269 We're both gynecologists. 350 00:11:36,303 --> 00:11:39,046 We're all gynecologists in this room. 351 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:42,358 Look, from one porn aficionado to a couple others, 352 00:11:42,359 --> 00:11:46,204 maybe you could just do us a solid. 353 00:11:46,238 --> 00:11:47,943 Wish we could. 354 00:11:47,978 --> 00:11:49,549 But if we took down a video 355 00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,054 every time someone didn't like it, 356 00:11:51,055 --> 00:11:52,827 we wouldn't be rich beyond our wildest dreams. 357 00:11:52,861 --> 00:11:55,503 Did I mention my house has four pools? 358 00:12:06,979 --> 00:12:10,022 This is just typical me, you know? 359 00:12:10,023 --> 00:12:11,896 I screwed something up before I even got a chance 360 00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:13,398 to screw it up. 361 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,340 I guess I'll just be single forever. 362 00:12:15,341 --> 00:12:18,417 Hey, guys? I need to tell you a story real quick. 363 00:12:18,418 --> 00:12:19,889 When I was in college, 364 00:12:19,890 --> 00:12:21,896 I could've taken pictures of every hot tri delt 365 00:12:21,897 --> 00:12:23,267 at the Dartmouth nude Olympics. 366 00:12:23,268 --> 00:12:24,538 Did I? You bet I did. 367 00:12:24,573 --> 00:12:25,843 Did I put 'em online? 368 00:12:25,878 --> 00:12:27,549 Tried, couldn't figure it out. 369 00:12:27,584 --> 00:12:29,690 Tried again, still having trouble. 370 00:12:29,691 --> 00:12:30,827 Tried a third time, 371 00:12:30,861 --> 00:12:32,432 still was having problems. 372 00:12:32,433 --> 00:12:33,604 I bought a firewire cable... 373 00:12:33,638 --> 00:12:35,076 I'm gonna stop you right there. 374 00:12:35,077 --> 00:12:36,546 - Kind of a long story. - Yep. 375 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:37,750 You went to Dartmouth? 376 00:12:37,785 --> 00:12:39,457 Yeah, I'm a d-bag. Are you a d-bag? 377 00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:41,731 Class of '96, class of '98. 378 00:12:41,766 --> 00:12:42,935 So what do you guys say? 379 00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:44,775 For the big green? 380 00:12:44,809 --> 00:12:46,882 Okay, but only for big green. 381 00:12:46,916 --> 00:12:48,789 Wah-hoo-wah! 382 00:12:48,823 --> 00:12:49,893 Wahoo-wah! 383 00:12:49,927 --> 00:12:51,499 That's not how we did that. 384 00:12:51,534 --> 00:12:53,807 Ms. Lahiri, before you go... 385 00:12:53,808 --> 00:12:55,713 Would you consider starring in a new project for us? 386 00:12:55,714 --> 00:12:57,251 We'll pay you $300,000. 387 00:12:57,286 --> 00:13:00,965 I'm sorry, three hundo-thundo just to flash Vince and Owen? 388 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,775 Guy, she just begged you to take down her sex tape. 389 00:13:03,776 --> 00:13:06,317 You really think she'd stoop that low to... 390 00:13:06,318 --> 00:13:08,090 - Mindy? - You're right. You're right. 391 00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:09,260 Of course not. 392 00:13:09,261 --> 00:13:11,668 It just... it seems like such easy money. 393 00:13:11,704 --> 00:13:14,044 - Dr. C. hey! - Yeah. 394 00:13:14,045 --> 00:13:15,449 Don't rest so much. It's not good for you. 395 00:13:15,450 --> 00:13:16,519 You got to wake up. 396 00:13:16,554 --> 00:13:18,359 Morgan, what are you... What are you doing? 397 00:13:18,393 --> 00:13:20,266 I have a special delivery for my best guy friend. 398 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,875 That's nice. 399 00:13:22,876 --> 00:13:24,079 What about the balloons? 400 00:13:24,113 --> 00:13:26,253 - These are for my own personal use. - Okay. 401 00:13:26,254 --> 00:13:27,759 But Dr. L's actually gonna spend the night here, 402 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,765 and she asked me to drop off some of her work. 403 00:13:29,766 --> 00:13:31,203 - Very sweet... - Mm-hmm. 404 00:13:31,237 --> 00:13:32,910 - And professional. - Yeah. 405 00:13:32,944 --> 00:13:34,748 So, uh... 406 00:13:34,749 --> 00:13:36,321 You didn't actually bring me anything? 407 00:13:36,355 --> 00:13:39,064 I could sing you a song so you feel better. 408 00:13:39,098 --> 00:13:40,302 No. 409 00:13:40,303 --> 00:13:41,941 Can you sing me a song so I feel better? 410 00:13:41,975 --> 00:13:43,178 Good-bye, Morgan. 411 00:13:44,517 --> 00:13:46,657 I can't lose you. You're not gonna lose me. 412 00:13:46,691 --> 00:13:48,196 - You could die. - Not gonna die. 413 00:13:48,231 --> 00:13:51,005 You might. Thanks for coming by. 414 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:52,544 You're one in a million, Castellano. 415 00:14:05,557 --> 00:14:06,727 What floor is Danny on? 416 00:14:06,761 --> 00:14:08,299 Five. But you know what, Peter? 417 00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:09,670 After defeating that porn empire, 418 00:14:09,671 --> 00:14:11,476 - I think we should take the stairs. - Take the stairs? 419 00:14:11,477 --> 00:14:14,755 Mindy, they had to airlift you out of a 5k fun run for cancer. 420 00:14:14,756 --> 00:14:16,627 We're taking the elevator. 421 00:14:20,476 --> 00:14:22,816 Where do you put the tape in? 422 00:14:24,523 --> 00:14:26,496 Okay, um, I'm mad that you brought that up. 423 00:14:26,497 --> 00:14:27,833 You know that's a sensitive subject with me. 424 00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:30,241 I feel like I can get airlifted once in a while. 425 00:14:30,275 --> 00:14:31,312 Eject... That works. 426 00:14:31,346 --> 00:14:32,483 Yeah. 427 00:14:33,854 --> 00:14:36,141 Jillian Michaels says that these are wasted opportunities. 428 00:14:36,163 --> 00:14:37,667 Jillian who? 429 00:14:39,241 --> 00:14:40,477 Bingo. 430 00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:47,469 Okay, you win. Let's take the stairs. 431 00:14:48,907 --> 00:14:51,347 Mindy. 432 00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:53,522 Who's Mindy? I'm Cody, mister. 433 00:14:53,557 --> 00:14:56,030 I'm selling cookies, cookies to turn you on. 434 00:14:56,031 --> 00:14:57,536 - You're dirty. - It's happening. 435 00:14:58,874 --> 00:15:00,880 No! No, no. Don't do that. Don't do that. 436 00:15:00,915 --> 00:15:02,787 Don't do that! Don't do that to him! 437 00:15:02,788 --> 00:15:04,092 Oh, my... 438 00:15:04,127 --> 00:15:07,036 You know, my sophomore year, meningitis tore through my frat. 439 00:15:07,037 --> 00:15:08,307 Mm-hmm. 440 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,013 We thought we were hungover for the first week. 441 00:15:10,014 --> 00:15:11,853 If queef's dad hadn't been the surgeon general, 442 00:15:11,854 --> 00:15:13,056 we all would've been nips up. 443 00:15:13,057 --> 00:15:14,662 No kidding. 444 00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:15,832 Wait. 445 00:15:18,007 --> 00:15:19,745 Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. 446 00:15:19,780 --> 00:15:21,452 Ahhhh! 447 00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:22,956 - Oh, my God. - You are dirty! 448 00:15:24,665 --> 00:15:26,303 Ah, God! I can't unsee this. 449 00:15:26,337 --> 00:15:28,310 Mindy, I've never done this before. Hey! 450 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,851 That's burned in my retina! Ah! 451 00:15:30,885 --> 00:15:32,790 Oh, Tom, you own me. 452 00:15:32,825 --> 00:15:35,333 Get away from her with that thing! Oh! 453 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,904 No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. 454 00:15:36,939 --> 00:15:38,979 Why would you give this to me, you sicko? 455 00:15:39,013 --> 00:15:41,053 Danny, I gave it to Tom, like, ten years ago. 456 00:15:41,054 --> 00:15:42,358 - It means nothing. - Oh, yeah? 457 00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:44,029 Were you taking it slow when you made this with Tom? 458 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:46,036 Or is this medium speed for you? 459 00:15:46,037 --> 00:15:47,040 No, that's faster than medium speed. 460 00:15:47,075 --> 00:15:48,077 Do not look at that! 461 00:15:48,078 --> 00:15:50,486 It was the 2000s, okay? 462 00:15:50,487 --> 00:15:52,693 You were kind of a loser if you didn't have a sex tape. 463 00:15:52,694 --> 00:15:53,897 It's disgusting. 464 00:15:53,931 --> 00:15:55,670 God! Why did I even have to look at that? 465 00:15:55,671 --> 00:15:57,310 My eyes hurt. Why do you care? 466 00:16:00,588 --> 00:16:01,590 What? 467 00:16:01,591 --> 00:16:02,962 I don't understand. 468 00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:04,032 Why do you care so much, Danny? 469 00:16:04,033 --> 00:16:06,273 I'm just... 470 00:16:06,274 --> 00:16:08,147 Worried that this tape isn't good for the practice. 471 00:16:08,181 --> 00:16:09,552 The practice? 472 00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:11,425 I've done way worse things to the practice. 473 00:16:11,460 --> 00:16:12,830 Last week I called in a bomb threat 474 00:16:12,831 --> 00:16:14,000 'cause I was too hungover to come in. 475 00:16:14,034 --> 00:16:16,542 That's so much worse, Danny, isn't it? 476 00:16:16,577 --> 00:16:18,047 All right, we'll talk about that later. 477 00:16:18,048 --> 00:16:19,519 Let's talk about the tape, okay? 478 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,125 - I don't... - I feel like I'm missing something, 479 00:16:21,126 --> 00:16:23,333 'cause the only person that should be, like, that upset 480 00:16:23,334 --> 00:16:24,872 is the new guy Mindy's dating. 481 00:16:24,873 --> 00:16:27,916 Wait. Wait. 482 00:16:27,917 --> 00:16:28,920 Wait. 483 00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:30,090 - What? - Wait. 484 00:16:30,125 --> 00:16:31,160 What? 485 00:16:31,161 --> 00:16:32,298 Wait, wait, wait. 486 00:16:32,299 --> 00:16:33,836 Please stop repeating the word "wait"! 487 00:16:33,870 --> 00:16:35,876 Mindy, are you and Danny porking? 488 00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:38,184 Are you kidding me? Us two? 489 00:16:38,218 --> 00:16:40,560 We are never gonna do that. Ridiculous. 490 00:16:40,594 --> 00:16:42,131 That is unprofessional. 491 00:16:42,132 --> 00:16:43,604 We're not having sex, right, Mindy? 492 00:16:43,605 --> 00:16:44,707 Mm-hmm. 493 00:16:44,708 --> 00:16:45,911 Are you feeling all right, min? 494 00:16:45,912 --> 00:16:47,484 You're all, like, nauseous and fevery. 495 00:16:47,518 --> 00:16:49,523 You look like that morning you tried to be a vegan. 496 00:16:49,525 --> 00:16:51,162 - Yeah, you're sweating. - Is it guilt? Is it guilt sweats? 497 00:16:51,198 --> 00:16:53,738 Oh, my God. You have Danny's meningitis! 498 00:16:53,772 --> 00:16:55,009 What? 499 00:16:55,010 --> 00:16:56,648 If she has meningitis, it's her own strain. 500 00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:58,220 I had nothing to do with that. 501 00:16:58,221 --> 00:16:59,324 You two are porking! 502 00:16:59,358 --> 00:17:00,695 We're not. We're coworkers. 503 00:17:00,730 --> 00:17:02,034 We're not. Yeah, we're coworkers. 504 00:17:02,035 --> 00:17:03,840 And the reason I'm sweaty is that... 505 00:17:03,841 --> 00:17:05,011 I did crossfit earlier. 506 00:17:05,012 --> 00:17:07,654 So I'm still kind of feeling the... effects. 507 00:17:07,655 --> 00:17:09,794 Whoa! Mindy? 508 00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:11,834 Her shirt's up. Okay, don't look! 509 00:17:11,835 --> 00:17:13,068 Sorry. Why do you care? 510 00:17:13,069 --> 00:17:14,664 Nurse! 511 00:17:16,489 --> 00:17:17,926 Hey, kiddo. 512 00:17:19,967 --> 00:17:21,137 You're looking a little sad. 513 00:17:21,172 --> 00:17:22,575 Want me to cheer you up? 514 00:17:22,610 --> 00:17:24,883 Do some Sheldon from Big Bang Theory? 515 00:17:24,884 --> 00:17:26,990 Bazinga! Hmm? 516 00:17:27,025 --> 00:17:28,764 I've never seen a woman before. 517 00:17:28,799 --> 00:17:30,805 Oh, Peter, you know I love your Sheldon, 518 00:17:30,806 --> 00:17:32,610 but I'm not in the mood to laugh. 519 00:17:32,645 --> 00:17:35,086 You know, uh, 520 00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:37,227 if this new guy you're hanging out with 521 00:17:37,228 --> 00:17:38,932 is gonna lose his shitake mushroom 522 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,371 over a sex tape, 523 00:17:40,372 --> 00:17:41,943 then he's probably not the right guy for you anyway. 524 00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:44,786 Well, the good news is... 525 00:17:44,787 --> 00:17:47,662 It seems like there is no guy anymore, 526 00:17:47,663 --> 00:17:49,536 and I'm just gonna be all alone... 527 00:17:49,537 --> 00:17:51,276 Just some oversexed creep 528 00:17:51,277 --> 00:17:53,182 who can't even make a good sex tape. 529 00:17:53,217 --> 00:17:55,223 Hey. That tape had a lot going against it... 530 00:17:55,224 --> 00:17:58,466 I mean, bad lighting, female director. 531 00:17:58,500 --> 00:17:59,972 The worst part is... 532 00:17:59,973 --> 00:18:01,677 I didn't even like Tom that much, 533 00:18:01,711 --> 00:18:04,287 not nearly as much as I like this new guy. 534 00:18:04,322 --> 00:18:06,093 And that's ruined. 535 00:18:08,603 --> 00:18:11,011 Well, I gotta go. 536 00:18:11,012 --> 00:18:13,820 I'm a total germaphobe. 537 00:18:16,230 --> 00:18:18,870 - Hey, Danny. - Move it. 538 00:18:18,904 --> 00:18:20,542 Oh, God, kill me. 539 00:18:20,543 --> 00:18:21,847 I know you think that Mindy 540 00:18:21,882 --> 00:18:23,119 embarrassed the practice, 541 00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:25,527 but before you get all judge-y Reinhold on her, 542 00:18:25,528 --> 00:18:27,099 listen to what Tom has to say. 543 00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:28,604 Okay, Margo's out in the hallway, 544 00:18:28,639 --> 00:18:31,313 so let's not talk about the sex tape. 545 00:18:31,314 --> 00:18:33,688 - You know, she thinks I'm a virgin. - Okay, you know what? 546 00:18:33,689 --> 00:18:35,562 Hey, hey! What are you doing? Trying to pull the plug. 547 00:18:35,596 --> 00:18:37,200 Stop it! It's right there. 548 00:18:37,201 --> 00:18:38,572 Tom, tell him about the time 549 00:18:38,573 --> 00:18:40,244 that you spent together with Mindy. 550 00:18:40,245 --> 00:18:42,118 Why does he need to know that? Why is that a deal? 551 00:18:42,152 --> 00:18:43,890 Margo, would you like to come in here 552 00:18:43,891 --> 00:18:45,228 and watch a movie? That's not nice. 553 00:18:45,229 --> 00:18:47,202 You're not being nice. No. Hey, back! 554 00:18:47,203 --> 00:18:49,978 Back, honey! Not nice. 555 00:18:49,979 --> 00:18:51,584 That's not nice? You just slammed the door in her face. 556 00:18:51,585 --> 00:18:53,791 Danny, listen, I don't think Mindy 557 00:18:53,792 --> 00:18:56,233 ever really liked me that much, okay? 558 00:18:56,234 --> 00:18:59,042 I think we did all the freaky sex stuff because... 559 00:18:59,043 --> 00:19:01,116 We didn't like spending time with each other. 560 00:19:01,117 --> 00:19:04,127 And when I say "freaky," I mean like really freaky. 561 00:19:04,128 --> 00:19:06,134 Did you ever tape any of that? 562 00:19:06,135 --> 00:19:07,305 Most of it. 563 00:19:07,306 --> 00:19:08,543 What? Where is this going? 564 00:19:08,544 --> 00:19:09,946 I'm just saying, I think she would've dumped me 565 00:19:09,947 --> 00:19:11,252 after two weeks if I didn't have such a huge... 566 00:19:11,253 --> 00:19:12,657 Okay, all right. That's enough. 567 00:19:12,658 --> 00:19:14,496 Every time I see you, you bring that up. 568 00:19:14,497 --> 00:19:15,566 - Thank you. - We good? 569 00:19:15,567 --> 00:19:16,904 - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. We're good. 570 00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:18,810 I don't know, this is... 571 00:19:18,811 --> 00:19:21,486 Okay, maybe that didn't go as well as I thought. 572 00:19:21,487 --> 00:19:23,493 But Mindy didn't even like Tom. 573 00:19:23,494 --> 00:19:24,497 And if you could've seen 574 00:19:24,498 --> 00:19:25,868 the crazy lengths she went through 575 00:19:25,869 --> 00:19:28,678 to make sure your eyes didn't get on that tape... 576 00:19:28,679 --> 00:19:31,922 I think it's because Mindy really... 577 00:19:31,923 --> 00:19:35,669 Respects the practice. 578 00:19:35,670 --> 00:19:39,849 Maybe she's even a little bit in love with the practice. 579 00:19:39,850 --> 00:19:42,526 Maybe she even wants to get boned by the practice. 580 00:19:42,527 --> 00:19:43,597 Okay, thank you, Peter. That's enough. 581 00:19:43,598 --> 00:19:45,637 Yeah. 582 00:19:45,638 --> 00:19:48,514 Veronica, why didn't you come to my other talk show? 583 00:19:48,515 --> 00:19:49,818 Because my cat is sick. 584 00:19:49,819 --> 00:19:51,692 And Jessica said you didn't care! 585 00:19:54,335 --> 00:19:55,972 Hey. 586 00:19:55,973 --> 00:19:57,946 Oh, hey. 587 00:19:57,947 --> 00:20:01,358 I just came down to borrow your Bridget Jones's diary. 588 00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:03,465 I think I must've lost mine. 589 00:20:03,466 --> 00:20:05,606 Uh, it's over there. 590 00:20:05,607 --> 00:20:08,315 The nurse put it across the room as punishment for pinching her. 591 00:20:08,316 --> 00:20:10,221 So... 592 00:20:10,222 --> 00:20:12,898 Enjoy it. 593 00:20:14,637 --> 00:20:16,410 You know... 594 00:20:16,411 --> 00:20:19,521 I was thinking that, uh... 595 00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:24,538 You know, maybe you were right. 596 00:20:24,539 --> 00:20:27,682 I think... 597 00:20:27,683 --> 00:20:30,023 I think I like that you want to take things slow. 598 00:20:32,165 --> 00:20:34,739 Let's do slow. 599 00:20:40,862 --> 00:20:42,366 Chapter one. 600 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:45,309 Can you do the voices? 601 00:20:45,310 --> 00:20:48,119 Okay. 602 00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:51,698 "The last thing on Earth I feel physically, 603 00:20:51,699 --> 00:20:54,541 "emotionally, or mentally equipped to do 604 00:20:54,542 --> 00:20:57,652 "is to drive una and Geoffrey Alconbury's 605 00:20:57,653 --> 00:21:00,863 New Year's Day turkey curry buffet..." 606 00:21:00,864 --> 00:21:02,937 Oh! That's where she meets Darcy. 607 00:21:02,938 --> 00:21:04,476 Oh, yeah? Who's she? 608 00:21:04,477 --> 00:21:06,850 No, Mark Darcy... Colin Firth. 609 00:21:06,851 --> 00:21:08,924 Oh. Okay. Yep. 610 00:21:08,925 --> 00:21:11,367 I like that guy. 611 00:21:11,368 --> 00:21:13,172 "'Oh, hello, darling. 612 00:21:13,173 --> 00:21:16,450 "I was just ringing to see what you wanted for Christmas.' 613 00:21:16,451 --> 00:21:18,390 "'Christmas?' 614 00:21:18,391 --> 00:21:20,565 "'would you like a surprise, darling?' 615 00:21:20,566 --> 00:21:22,069 "'no!' I bellowed. 616 00:21:22,070 --> 00:21:23,708 "'Sorry. I mean...' 617 00:21:23,709 --> 00:21:26,352 "'I wondered if you'd like a set of wheels for your suitcase.' 618 00:21:26,353 --> 00:21:29,094 "'but I haven't got a suitcase.' 619 00:21:29,095 --> 00:21:30,934 "'why don't I get you a little suitcase 620 00:21:30,935 --> 00:21:32,606 "'with wheels attached? 621 00:21:32,607 --> 00:21:34,714 You know, like an air hostess has.'" 44862

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