Original subtitles

I've always wanted to go to Cuba

just because there's like this forbidden land

it's something dark yeah

cause it's like the forbidden place

it's like oh wow Cuba

like I've been raised in a country

that thinks that Cuba is terrible

and so I want to go check it out for myself

what I'm looking forward to

I've heard that there's a good memorial for John Lennon

it seems pretty odd

that a country that banned rock and roll

has a memorial for John Lennon

when I used to smoke

my dream was to sit in Cuba with a big stogie

well you can still sit in Cuba

and think about smoking a big stogie

my name is Jack Osbourne and this is my dad Ozzy

heavy metal god are you ready

Prince of darkness and surprisingly enough

history nerd as the old saying goes

like father like son

so my dad and I are doing something

we've always wanted to do

we're hitting the road just the two of us

and a bucket list of places

and things we've only ever read about in books

oh my god this is amazing

all seen on TV and the web

do you have your knife yes

civil days we might need it

there are no roadies no tour buses

what the fuck is this no boundaries

oh

welcome to Ozzy and Jack's world detour

let's rock and roll

alright so uh

we are inbound now just about to land in Havana

yeah

I don't smoke anymore

it's gonna be

chuffing cigars and blowing them in your face

everywhere everywhere in the elevators

the doctors

when I was in years ago I was in a hotel in Sweden

I smelled cigar everywhere

alright we made it we're here in Cuba

hello hello Tuesday hi

you know what what

I've just heard

a rumor that they buried John Lennon here well

I mean there's a park here

I haven't heard that they buried him here um

so we have a car waiting for us downstairs right now

we're gonna go for a drive into Old Havana

figure out what we're gonna do alright

you ready to go yeah

let's go did you bring your Cuban heel boots

no is that where the word comes from

I think that's Boris right there

so when planning our Cuban adventure

I hired a guide named Boris Man finally haha

nice to meet you nice to meet you too

I'll see it's not a pleasure

it's an honor to host you well

thanks for having us oh man

I hope you will have fun oh

I have no doubt okay come over here alright

what a beautiful car do you like it

this is a Chevrolet 1956 wow

this thing's awesome get some energy for tonight

we will

let's speak like Scarface

say say hello my little friend

so cool this car beautiful

lovely 1956 it's your car

yes I'll take it to my family

have they have they had it since the 50s

because of the US embargo imposed in the 1960s

there are no new American cars imported into Cuba

there's tons of classic cars

you inherit a car

and you have to keep that car running

cause it's the only car you're ever gonna have

so everyone takes

pride in being able to maintain their car

and operate it

guys are talking to each other

it's like I to need to hahaha

is it too windy for you

the only trouble is open car hair whips my face

all of them cause you have those long luscious locks

yeah I know that's what I'm saying

our first stop in Havana was Plaza Vieja

or the old Square all the stray dogs here are amazing

they're all like these little like gangster

tough looking dogs

some hats should we check these out

yeah

this one will fit Mommy let's see

it's a little big it's alright

she's got a big head ha ha

there's a coffee shop here

we can go hang out in if you want okay

so they have really good coffee as well yeah

so let me try this has some for mama it will be great

thank you

hey coffee

why do you drink it I like that

you wanna know what we got planned

but I

I don't wanna do to everything where you wanna go well

we would give me a break what do you wanna do

I wanna do this revolutionary museum

I I wanna see that they have bits of a YouTube um

spy plane they shot down

but I wanna go to the Lennon thing more than anything

have they told you about the sunglasses

on the Lennon statue no

so Lennon statue has a pair of sunglasses

and people kept stealing them

so there's a government guard who keeps the sunglasses

but when you sit down to take a picture

he comes out and he puts the glasses on the statue

he lets you take a picture

and then he takes them and puts them away

wow so what I wanna do

I wanna check out some cigar stuff

why would you wanna do that

because I love cigars and I wanna bring a load back

but I can only bring a limited amount back legally

so I was thinking um

you know

we can maybe duct tape some of my cigars around you

to go through customs

but Ivy listen

don't act like you've never muleed some drugs

you never done anything

like I always had to deal with it on the other side

in that case let's just change the subject okay

did you bring your dancing shoes

I ain't dancing if I go on doing the dancing here

I'll open up with the black cell and get flamethrower

check it out there's a salsa

you're dancing you won't

you come third and thank your lucky stars

or whatever it's called

I'm not saying I'm gonna dance

but there's a salsa club

right down the street from the hotel

and it's supposed to be like the spot

so fabulous go check it out you can fuck off

with our plans set

it was time to head out to the first destination

on my dad's Cuban bucket list

the museum de LA revolution

in the former presidential palace

look at that thing

in 1946

Winston Churchill came to Cuba and visited the palace

and my dad wanted to follow in his footsteps

wow look at that tank

go in

oh awesome

oh hi hi

welcome to the Revolution Museum

thank you hello Saraya

hi Saraya

nice to meet you too

cool

are these uh

these are bullet holes yes

wow wow dad wow

these are old bullet holes

in 1957 a group of people came here to the palace

to assassinate Batista

so here's what I know about the Cuban Revolution

The Cuban Revolution lasted from about 1953 to 1959

that's when Fidel Castro LED an armed revolt

against the corrupt Cuban President Batista

now Batista had become this crazy dictator

who was not looking out for the Cuban people

finally in 1959

the rebels LED by Castro ousted Batista who fled Cuba

leaving Castro

installed as the new Marxist prime minister

you will have to help me with my English

better than my Spanish okay

this place used to be the presidential palace of Cuba

it was built in 1920 this painting in the ceiling

it was made by a Cuban artist

it represents the the birth of the Cuban Republic

in 1946 Winston Churchill

talked to the Cuban people from this place

wow when the revolution took place in 1959

Yep Fidel Castro also used this place as a Tribune

to talk to the Cuban people

who came to the palace and there was an occasion

some people from that building

tried to assassinate Fidel Castro

they shoot it from here yes wow

I think it's pretty amazing

that

they did leave all the bullet holes in the building

and

I would prefer the bullet holes to be in the building

it's true yeah

leave them on the wall not in me

you see this is the surprise hahaha

that's funny look

George Bush George Bush

senior Reagan do you see what it says there

thank you Creighton

for helping us strengthen the revolution

I guess they don't like capitalists humor

it's like satire right

OK that area was called Cretin's Corner

Cretin's Corner I mean

is it is it cretin or cretin

I don't know I didn't know cretin

are they are they the same word

I don't know you're asking me

I'm not I'm saying I don't know what I'm talking about

I'm don't know who I am half the time

were they the cretins

cretins

ha ha

ha ha

very funny

this is a very interesting telephone

people in Cuba used to say that

Batista used a telephone that was made of gold

and that famous telephone is this one

but it was not made of gold

it had only hello

it's original

I love that we're in

what used to be the presidential palace of Cuba

and you're like picking up the gold phone

maybe

it's straight to the cocaine dealers that have kilos

can I sit at the desk what

can I sit down at the desk

yes yes

you can

he's going to be our president for a few minutes

ay si se caes de LA silla

alright your turn

no no no

you can sit and I can take a picture

after we had ticked off

one of my dad's bucket list choices

it was time for us to do one of mine

salsa dancing beautiful sky

absolutely stunning where are we going now

we're headed back to the hotel

so we can get ready for salsa dancing tonight

you ain't gonna set me up tonight with this salsa

but I hope you brought your dancing shoes you can go

hello hello

hi there hello

couple things firstly

um as you can tell outside

it's raining as a result

dancing is off oh

that's fantastic but you and I

we can salsa

no I'm not dancing

my dad and I were in Cuba

and my salsa dancing dreams had just got rained out

but I'm an Osborne and I always have a backup plan

did you go to the smoke room

I did since

dancing is off

I will go back and have a cheeky round two

why is it that you've suddenly gone ballistic on cigars

I don't smoke that many but I just I like cigars

we're eating

I used to smoke the next year mum in bed

I remember we'd be in bed as kids

and you would just be like

just cover your nose and mouth with the blanket

and you'd be in bed with us just

alright God bless see you tomorrow

I'll still a way go alright bye bye

let me show you what we have here

perfect these are pyramids from Cuba

you have from from mejulieta wow

Provina

hey what would you like

something strong medium

I'll take a a partagas partagas yeah

okay good one more please

now you can bring cigars to us

do you know what the actual law is now

the the actual law you you can bring $100 OK

between cigars and Cuban rum

$100 worth of cigars that's a good start

but I knew I wanted way more than that

now you don't have a lot of restriction to spend money

I was gonna have to get resourceful

still kind of stormy out

still hear the wind coming through the window

makes sleeping kind of difficult

especially at night when it's even stormier

and it's just like

it sounds like someone's just doing this

today uh

we're not moving around too much

we're just kind of staying in the

general area of this fortress called lacabana

and lacabana is this massive bohemoth of a fortress

right outside of the fortress is a museum

where they've got

all this stuff from the Cuban Missile Crisis

should be a cool day like I said

it's all in one general area

we're still cruising around in these beautiful old cars

which doesn't get any better than that

so I think that's part of lakkabanja down there

you see the Old Fort on the water

oh that tower thing yeah

yeah right outside of the fortress is a museum

where they've got all this stuff from the Cuban

missile crisis yeah

which will be kind of cool

now that's a gun now that's a gun

that's the one on the front of the car in traffic

I might actually just put that in the front of my house

one of the most interesting things for me

because I'm a Second World War buff

and all that development of these

the one that I just left it all hanging out in the

in the open totally yeah

here we go

winged rocket for coastal defense belonging to the Navy

range 80 km that could nearly hit America

what's that there Joe

that's the YouTube spy plane that they shot down

so in 1961 President Kennedy's administration

was thrown into a state of crisis

when it was Learned

through photos gathered by a YouTube spy plane

that the Soviet Union was planting nuclear

missile sites all over

Cuba pointed directly at the US now

the US quickly established a blockade

keeping further arms from entering Cuba

a few weeks later this pilot

Rudolph Anderson junior

was flying over Cuba and he was shot down and killed

he was the only person who died

during the Cuban Missile Crisis

what it's just like here

this is insane what

this is actually part of a American spy plane

and we can touch it wow

I could just touch a war relic

are we allowed up here

so the way like

surface to air missiles work

is that they don't hit the plane

oh no

they get up next to it and then explode

so look you can see from where

where the we can see the pattern

yeah like it

but these things were so flimsy anyway

oh yeah

I mean look how you could

like you they're like a high flying glider

yeah like both of us could probably pick that wing up

this is the underneath here's one of the wheels

see it as well Zach look

yeah

the shrapnel spray that gun that's all over the thing

yeah cause it like

it's like pellets yeah yeah

oh a Cuban astronaut

yeah he was a Cuban astronaut for the Russians

what a cool little rocket

wow

you must be a midgets ha ha

okay jump on in

I'll go around the other side

Hola

here's my son Jack hello

who's looking very Cuban these days

right am I

he looks like a Cuban general on acid

our Cuban adventure continued

Boris called me and said

he had the most amazing opportunity for us

and that was

to see the inside of Ernest Hemingway's house

it's not open to the public

so we had to jump on it quick

that meant my dad had to wait a little longer

to see John Lennon's memorial

we're going to the Lennon memorial right now

no right now we're heading to Hammy Way's house

god I don't think I'm in the memorial

I kinda look like him in these glasses

say hello to my little glasses

so how much do you know about Hemingway

not a lot so here's what you need to know

Ernest Hemingway was pretty much the rock star

novelist of his day he wrote for whom the Bell Tolls

the Old Man and the sea and a farewell to arms

the thing about Hemingway was

he was a guy you wanted to hang out with

a real man's man he hunted big game

he ran with the bulls he partied and he drank

and he was a major influence in American literature

in the 20th century

Hemingway supposedly came here for like

a 48 hour layover and never left

and like bought a house here and lived here

wow that's cool

his Cuban home is called Finca Bahia

which means lookout farm

hello hello

Hola hi

I'm Marcy this is my son Jack

hi how's it going

hi Jack

I'm Miss Bell nice to meet you

I'm the deputy director of Hemingway Museum

follow me please

OK OK

wow yeah

how long do you have Hemingway live here

Hemingway I live here more than 20 years

oh yeah

he paid 18,000 and 500 for 10 acres wow yeah

now did Hemingway hunt all these animals

the two antelopes

there were hunting by Hemingway in United States

but the Rex are from Africa

Africa

hey Kitty Kitty

you don't let tours inside the house very often right

no very unusual

only special people important personalities

do you wanna see his creation area

sure is that actually his typewriter

one of them that's the royal

he types standing up oh yeah that's the explanation

the valuable art that we have here

we have a Picasso that's a Picasso yeah

wow he bought it in 1957

yeah he paid only 150 francs in dollars

was about $10 at that time

but now it's priceless yeah

because it's authentic no

it's a Picasso yeah

yeah I have a Picasso at home

you do yeah

that's very worth fortunes

when Hemingway died

did the state take over the property

and then turn it into a museum

or was it just left for a while

no um

well politics complicates everything

in 1960 Hemingway was still living here

he make a trip to United States

but his intention was to come back

as you can see everything is here after the funeral

Mary is the last wife returned to Cuba

she inherited everything from Hemingway

and she communicated that

she was coming to give things

according to Hemingway's wishes

and the property for Cubans in his will

he wanted it to donate yeah

um that's what she communicated to us

I mean listen

whether he left his stuff to the government or fled

and the government took it

ultimately the government got it

did the government own his house or is it

well it was in his will that it was to be

but it's having a revolution

what does it mean

they knew that everything in there is super valuable

kid like a Picasso on the wall

this is a bathroom only for Hemingway

what's all that his way

do you see the scale there

yeah he check his way until he knocks on the wall

his obsession was all the time about his weight

and it's very funny

because sometimes he write the day his way

and between parenthesis after drinking lots of beers

after big lunch before drinking

after drinks haha

you like drinking yes

was he was he just afraid to say he was an alcoholic

I think he was yeah

and he was a horrible depressive

you know even though you have this impression of like

Hemingway's being this amazing author

and this real man's man

you could see that he was still really insecure

most of us are

no matter how big and bravado you look to the rest

of the world and you're fighting a thousand wars

the biggest battle you're fighting is yourself

hmm I mean

he left his Mark like John Lennon

Paul McCartney Beatles

it was like in a in a

it was like a working class hero kind of a thing

sure was Aussie

you wanna hear some music

oh yeah

okay she's an old miss

it still works it's an authentic record player

wow

come and dance oh my God

oh yes

hahaha

I was dancing with Alfie

you know for someone who's like

I'm not dancing you sure got your salsa on with our uh

what are you talking about

tour guide what are you talking about

oh yeah here we go

ah you know what

when having a special guest he used to ring the bell

hahaha today is for you

thank you wow for that man

what apple is the human name of sugar cane juice

everything is natural

I never realized there's so much inside of sugar cane

you wanna try try

I'll give it a whirl very heavy

look at the business of that man

that's really cool how your raw sugar cane parasites

what supposedly raw sugar cane has parasites

thanks for telling me now you want some more

one thing we hadn't yet done

was eat an authentic Cuban meal

and that was on both of our bucket lists

Cuba's known for its rice and beans

and the place we went supposedly had the best rice

and beans in Cuba

thank you

that is amazing

really good I like it

I really do like it it is pretty cool to be here

the food in Cuba was awesome

and like I tell you what Boris set us up right

that guy never sent us astray

where did we find Boris he is definitely an impresario

he's got the man

he is the man and he talks like Scarface

say hello to my little friend

hey you eat fast

we did you eat fast

hahaha Barry

so we're going to Lennon's Park tomorrow yeah

we have a tribute to Lennon

so um

I wanna get some I wanna get some cigars alright

don't worry about it

we're gonna duct tape them to your body

they'll never find them on you

keep dreaming I'm not smuggling

keep dreaming

around your ankles around your body

I'll be in jail and you'll be like

see you dad I'll be smoking

I'll be smoking now and we'll see you in court

off

alright bye

I guess we're not gonna go see John Lennon then

I'm not coming out

haha um alright

I need to talk you out what

what can I do hi

hi hi hi

so I know somebody like you know um

you ready you ready

are you where are we going today

nothing to guard you at some point we will

but we're gonna start the day off right

go on John Lennon oh my God

I'm looking forward to see now and then um

we're gonna go to the Yellow Submarine bar oh OK

it's better than going to like the Rolling Stones bar

yeah OK

is there anyone in there no

windy today oh

my wig's flying off just put the roof up

got a nail so straight up yeah

how they got music in the old days

they risk their freedom you know

it was tricky back in the old days in Cuba

in the 60s or early 70s if you had a Beatles record

you have warranty the entrance to any party really

yeah okay

here's the deal with Cuba and rock and roll

after the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962

Fidel Castro outlawed rock and roll

as the music of the enemy

the ban was eventually lifted in 1966

but rock and roll remained mostly underground

and in 2,004 Fidel Castro made a speech

honouring the one and only John Lennon

casting Lennon as a man who was born a rebel

a constant victim of US harassment ah

here's the park OK

groovy groovy

the Monument was opening 2000

you know who attended who

the opening Fidel

oh did he

yeah and that was the time where Fidel said this guy

he was a dreamer and I think I'm a dreamer too

here he is

that's really cool

cause there was a sign that that was banned

and then you became a hero yeah

gotta tell you

one of the highlights of the thing that we've seen

the Lennon statue I just find it such a strange thing

oh it was a bit strange seeing John Lennon in Havana

yeah

I thought I seen the real thing

when you learn the history of it

as to why Castro put it there

was because he was a rebel

he was a rebel exactly

and I think

Castro probably liked the fact that John Lennon

pissed off the American government

will you team John Lennon

or will you team Paul McCartney

both yeah

I mean Lennon and McCartney

for me

were two of the greatest things that ever happened

this is my friend PJ

across the street from the park

was a small pub called the Yellow Submarine

where some of Cuba's musicians

and rock critics had gathered

to meet my father

we are here 3 journalist that writes about rocks

he uh want to know relationship with Lennon

with the Beatles if it wasn't for the Beatles

I wouldn't be here now cause I was as a young boy

they captured my heart and I wonder

when I met Paul McCartney for the first time

it was like me meeting god

you know and Lennon

I never met Lennon I get sad when I see a

a lot of memorial because

a man who gives so much pleasure to so many people

through his music it's just very sad

do you have a song that the name is Dreamer

do you believe that you are Dreamer like Lennon I

I do care about the earth

the people it would be nice if we could all get along

you know it would be much better world I

this is my first time in Cuba and it's fantastic

we're really having a fun time here

I have a I have a question for

you know in America

you're LED to believe oh

there's no music here it was outlawed

what was the music scene like

when things were hard here

and how were you getting music during many years

through third persons who were traveling around

uh huh it was the only way for years

and the American radio leader of Arkansas

a K a

y station uh huh

that the problem bakery in this 70 wow

LED Zeppelin Black Sabbath

guess who uh huh

incredible the purple

we know too much about rock yeah

and we have the honor that you are the first

great musician that came to this place

we are lots of bars like this around England

when I first started but no more

but it's good it's good that you have this

cause people can jam can they come along and play

just play

for me it's a great honor

to play in the presence of Ozzy Osbourne

one of my idols for me is

I feel a great emotion to play your music

uh huh

that would have been great had Runny Rose been there

because I'm having the guy

play on a classical guitar in a classical fashion

would have been Runny's thing

yeah I mean I was emotional about it

I know you would

you know this place is great man

I mean I had such a good time here

and people love music so much

now I heard that if you got caught with certain music

you could you could get essentially arrested

yeah wow

OK here out of the record

back in the old days man

I remember that my first record was a Tom Jones

Tom Jones Tom Jones man

I just recently traveled with him back to England

lovely man he's a great singer

I said to him one time

I said hey Tom

do you get on with Inglebert Humperdinck

then he said I hate you hahaha

I'm not late hi

how are you sir

um we

well it's the last day

we've got a lot of stuff oh

I like the purple glasses

purple jacket I like that blue jacket

blue glasses ah

it's really good so it's our last day

we got a lot of things on the table

but unfortunately one thing has to go

now here the options

and I thought we'd make a little game out of it

here I have a uh

a 1 CUC coin Cuban currency yeah

although it does not have a head or a tail

so it has a shield and a hut

if you win we get to go to a war

museum

where they have a ton of Russian tanks and whatever

and if I win we get to go to this private cigar room

where they have some insane collection of cigars

not cigars as well so heads or tails or okay

you pick do you want shield or heart shield

oh it's hot

so guys it is alright let's go

the cool thing about this cigar shop

is that it was located in this really cool Old Fort

I thought my dad would really dig it

apparently after the revolution

Fidel's right hand man

Che Guevara used it as his headquarters wow

this place is massive it doesn't end

there's this cigar shop right up here oh

you and cigars I don't smoke cigars but it's okay

I don't sing but I go to your shows all the time

you and these cigars man listen

I'm just gonna go in I wanna see

maybe just buy one of like his home rolled ones

and we'll go from there it's just up here

come on jump out

it's not

supposed to be cigars I'll end up with lung cancer

I don't even smoke anymore

go and try that one

it's closed oh

let's get the fuck out of here

let's go back to our cell grumpy

I'm not grumpy cigar mad

I'm gonna come smoke a cigar in your bedroom

thank you pay the 200 dollar fee

I might not have cigars yet

but for our final night in Cuba

I did get me and my dad an authentic Cuban

Guayabara shirt

fuck off okay see you later

hello boy hi

what's up

I yes I've been to the dry cleaners

and I went to the dry cleaners

and I brought you your shirt senior wow

that's cool and it will go perfectly with your jacket

absolutely son alright I'm gonna go put mine on

it's good

local boy now

live it up in Cuba Cuba good boy

there you go the boys ready

Cuba here we come

so this restaurant we're going to

is supposed to be one of the best restaurants

in Havana it looks like a house really wow

I've got educated in five days here

but I really like the vibe of it

no more tears haha no more tears

so hold on hold that is the restaurant

this is a restaurant this is before we came to Cuba

I searched the internet for good places to eat now

they don't exactly have Yelp here

so it was kind of difficult

but I found these paladar restaurants

that people run out of their homes

they were totally underground and illegal

until the 1990s but

but now they've turned into these swanky places to eat

and the one we're headed to is supposedly awesome hello

alright good thing go upstairs OK

cool thank you wow

we have to go up 4 flights of stairs what

this is cool cool a bit this is awesome

this is a joke

no

hi good evening

welcome to lavaria thank you

do you have any questions about the menu

I can help you can I get the tuna tataki to start

thank you can I get the avocado

fantastic thank you

what a cool vibe you know

and today we have a cold sushi with a vegetable cream

so I hope you like it thank you very much

and you're welcome pleasure

as fun as it is to travel with you

you were the worst to eat adventurous food with

so if I don't recognize it

I don't wanna eat it cause I've done that

you go oh this looks nice

it's still breathing

is it better with hair or without hair

with hair it was our last night in Havana

and we had an awesome Cuban meal

or at least I thought so I'm not crazy man

and

I wanted to cap the night off with some salsa dancing

but convincing my dad was more of a tango I kill you

I kill you

we're gonna go somewhere really fun after this

I'm not fucking dancing no

how about

we go to a place where people might be dancing

yeah and if they are dancing

we watch and if all of a sudden

the rhythm of the music

starts to take control of your hips

no thank you

get control of my feet and I'll walk out the door

it tastes like that

is probably one of the greatest desserts I've ever had

good you can have one for now

just a little bit then then then no

no no

you're gonna work that off on the dance floor

I don't want to listen out of the two of us

you're the most musical for one yes

yes you dance on stage

you can dance you dance on stage no

I don't yes you do I jump around like a

hey hey all dancing is is jumping around like a alright

if you want if you want dance with me

just have a little bit I'm not dancing okay

you wanna you you you are full of alright yeah

OK fine OK

that's fine I found the food quite exquisite

oh good for you

you can have mine next time

I think I actually did have some of yours

this is an unbelievable restaurant

I was full from dinner

and I knew I wasn't going to get my dad to go dancing

so I had thought we would end the night

doing what he wanted to do

it's American GIS against Nazi killers

in a fight to the death

Allied forces storm the fatherland

I love that we go all the way to Cuba

and you still find time to watch some World War

2 documentaries I'm obsessed with it

so we were flying out in a matter of hours

but I was determined to get my cigars

someone at the hotel

told me how to get some black market cigars

it was my last chance to get some and I had to risk it

part of my excitement about coming to Cuba

is for the cigars

we're in Old Town right now

and supposedly there's this thing called cooperative

where people who've worked at cigar factories

for 20 years sell you cigars for like

50% off and what I hear people come up and be like hey

you know you want cigars you want cigar

tobacco

I'm saying tobacco tobacco

tobacco

OK hey

no no Hola uh

can't see tobacco oh uh

yes uh

go to the the the left uh huh

on the right hey where are you in

mmm hmm I'll find them there

yes ah

mucho Gracias mucho Gracias ah

I'll give you one of these haha

haha

a consity tobacco tobacco

I don't know don't know don't know

well behold

I got told to go into this building

and took me around a corner

and I bought some cigars

I pulled them out of an air vent

we're in luck

the eagle has landed

Ola hi Zack

how you doing I'm alright

I'm gonna put these are you ready for

I'm gonna put these in your luggage

what are they nothing what

don't worry about it but what

what you mean don't worry

what the fuck is it don't worry about it

it's fine if they ask you tell them that they're yours

but what are they don't worry about it

are you still listening

I found it's high grade industrial quality cigars

are they

illegal shh

if it's a cigar I don't want to take it

I don't smoke it I'm not lying for you

I wish you'd ask me before you do these things

you said yes but I don't wanna be a smuggler

well all in all I smoke in the air

Cuba was a hit

fuck off with that thing in my house

what the fuck is that oh I'm out of here

bye mum Jack's smoking cigar