All language subtitles for sex and the city s06e06

In New York City,

where no good event
gets going before 9:00 pm,

it's a very bad sign

when you get invited to something
that starts at 9:00 a.m.

What're you gonna say?

I'm just gonna tell them
that before 10:00 a.m.,

as far as I'm concerned,
everybody's guilty.

-I figure I'll be out in no time.

Well, as long as I'm down here

I'm gonna head over to
J&R to look at some computer shit.

When you get off, call me.
We'll meet up, do something.

Well, aren't you gonna write today?

What does that mean?

It doesn't mean anything.
It was just a question.

What did you think I was gonna do?

Sit on my ass all day and slack off?

No. I didn't mean it like that.

Look, it's early.

Right. It's early.

And it's also a very bad sign

when a couple is fighting
before 9:00 a.m.

You know what we need right now?
A Hollywood kiss.

Here? We have coffee.

Come on. Hollywood kiss.

Better?

Better.

I'll see ya later. Love you.

I love you, too. Wish me luck.

Hang 'em high.

Hi. I hope you can help me with this.

I feel terrible, but I don't think
that I can serve jury duty today.

You see, I work for myself
as a freelance writer

and no one can cover for me.

Welcome to jury duty.

Meanwhile, another woman
was having trouble juggling her duties.

-Oh, is it 8:30 already?
-Good morning.

Fuck!

Don't say F.

I'm, uh... I'm gonna be
a little late tonight,

-work stuff.
- Yeah, come here, baby.

Yes, darling. Oops. Turn around.

-Oh...

It's okay, Brady.

Mommy's just gotta go to work.

-Boy is fine.

He just misses mama. Yes, baby.

Oh, look at that, yes.

Say bye-bye.

Bye-bye, Mommy.

No, no, it's nothing...

-Bye-bye, Brady.
- No, no. It's all right...

Along with her coffee,

feeling guilty had become
a part of Miranda's daily routine.

Let me help you, darling.

Thanks, Lenore.

You have done such
a wonderful job with this event.

-Macaroons on the outside, dear.
-Oh.

-I just hope people enjoy it.
-Oh.

I'm sure they will.

Charlotte had been
guilted into joining

the Synagogue's Sisterhood Society.

Now, I know since Harry...
pah-pah-pah...

you've been coming to Temple alone.

The break-up was bad news for you.

But, good news for me.
Hence, good news for you.

Lenore, what are you saying over there?

I have someone for you.

Now, I know, I don't look old
enough to have a son your age,

but I do.

-Mmm...
-Charlotte, darling.

I have two single sons,
both perfect for you.

Uh-uh-uh, Barbara, I told you.

I wanted to fix her up with my David.

Charlotte may have been there
to arrange the cookies,

but Barbara, Elaine and Lenore
were there to arrange her next marriage.

Meanwhile, Samantha
had used her pushiness

to parlay her new man's
hit off-Broadway show

into a hot on-Broadway poster.

Fuck me.

Well, that's the first thing
every woman in town

will be saying after she sees it.

It's huge.

And that's the second.

And honey, I'm not even sure
the poster does you justice.

Come on, my dick's like
three stories long.

The way God and Madison Avenue intended.

Sometimes, when you're sitting
on a jury,

it may seem as if all you're doing
is a lot of waiting around,

but to the contrary.

The catalyst for the resolution
of the lawsuit

is the fact that you were there,
ready to hear the evidence

and render a verdict.

You are not just sitting around,

but rather playing an indispensable role
in our justice system.

But now, let's take a look
at the flow of a typical trial.

Whether you're serving
on a civil or criminal trial,

there's a general procedure
that is followed.

You may hear opening statements
by the opposing attorneys

each presenting
their sides of the dispute,

this is not evidence...

It's just so weird.

I mean, a mango isn't even
a fruit you can bite into.

I do believe it is the oddest thing
you can pull out of a briefcase.

-Except for a pineapple.
-Oh.

The moment he pulls out a pineapple,

-I want you to call me.
-Okay.

Thank you.

Ooh.

Charlotte! What are you doing here?

Shh!

Why are we hiding?

I am on the worst date of my life.

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.

This woman from the temple
set me up with her son and he's awful.

You have to help me.

-Okay.
- Call me on your cell phone,

tell me something bad happened
and then I'll rush out.

Okay, then when the guy leaves,
we'll call you,

you'll come back and eat with us.

-Yes! Okay!
-Okay.

We've been dating a long time.
We have contingency plans.

Uh, I asked for more bread,

but they haven't brought it yet.

Okay.

Oh, I'm sorry,
I wouldn't normally get that,

but maybe something bad happened.

-Hello?
-Hey, Charlotte,

it's me, something bad happened.

Something bad happened?

I knew it was gonna be terrible.

The man brought me carnations!

-I see.
-Wait, hold up.

The man brought you flowers.
What an asshole.

Not flowers, carnations!

What's so wrong with carnations?

They're filler flowers.

Would you dump a guy
if he brought you carnations?

Me? No, but I happen to like carnations,

especially the pink ones.

In fact, I think
they're making a comeback.

I would, however, throw away
a guy for wearing docksiders,

or topsiders, or any of the above.

No, those are cute.

So basically guys are just fucked?

No, that's not true.

None of that matters with the right guy.

Harry was bald and he talked
with his mouth full.

But I loved him anyway.

Right, because he didn't
bring you filler flowers.

No, because I loved him.

Of course you did, sweetie.
Don't say that to her.

I'm sorry, I was just
trying to be funny.

Well, it wasn't funny.

Yeah, it wasn't funny, I'm a slacker,

I guess if I were wearing
topsiders I wouldn't be here.

Good evening. You folks ready to order?

Um, yes...

Let's see, I'm gonna start
with the goat cheese salad

and then I'll have the tuna.

But, sir, can you make sure
there's no parsley on anything?

I'm just really allergic.

Not even a sprinkling
of it on the plate.

-Yeah, he got it, no parsley.
-And, can...

Actually, can... can you ask the chef

if the marinade for the tuna
has parsley in it?

Because if it does, I should
probably change my order.

-I'll go check.
-Thank you.

You're not allergic.

-What?
-You're not allergic.

I don't like it.

Why don't you just say that?

Because when I say that,

parsley somehow magically
appears on the plate

and I feel bad because
I have to send it back.

You didn't even order something
that usually comes with parsley.

It comes with everything.

You know what, guys,
I actually have to...

I... I totally forgot, I...

I have to... go.

Bye.

Charlotte decided to
leave her second bad date of the night.

You can just drop us at the corner
of 73rd and Madison. Thanks.

Well, actually can you go around?

It's 73rd between Park
and Madison, thank you.

I'm in heels.

I can't believe you put me down
in front of your friend.

I didn't put you down.

Okay, great...

Now you're gonna tell me what I feel?

I'm not telling you what you feel.

Ah... here we go again.

What's going on with us?

When did you stop being on my side?

When did you stop being on my side?

This isn't working.

You're right, I think
we should take a break.

Are you serious?

I think we need some time apart.

Well, I know things
haven't been great, but...

How long have you been
thinking about this?

Right up here is fine.

The third brownstone on the right.

No, actually wait.
There's gonna be two stops.

Wait, you want to take
the break starting now?

I thought you would at least come up.

-We need to talk.
-No. I don't need to talk.

Okay, I need some time to think.

Well, how much time?

About a week.

I'm gonna go out to my Hamptons' house,

I just need some distance.

Sort through stuff.

Is that okay?

What?

I'm supposed to decide what I feel
about this with the meter running?

Yeah, okay, go.

I'll call you when I get back.

Well, thanks for dinner!

I knew we were having
problems, but a break?

What am I, some horrible job
he needs to get away from?

A break isn't always a bad thing.

Oh, come on! It's a hop, skip,
and a week from a break up.

Or it's the thing that saves you

from saying the things that
you wish you could take back,

but you can't.

If Harry and I had taken a break,

then maybe I wouldn't be
out on blind dates again.

Hey, remember when
a break was a good thing?

Spring break, coffee break.

Now it's break up, break down.

They keep getting worse. What's next?

-Hip break.
- You know what I think?

I think, don't do that.

Do what?

Well, I'm sorry, I'm upset.

Well, don't be.

You'll be even more upset
when your face is all lined.

As far as I'm concerned,
the test of a good relationship is:

Are you like this?

Or like this?

That is the test of a good relationship?

-Mmm-hmm.
-Or a good dermatologist.

Make fun.

But a bump in the road is never good.

And you shouldn't bother staying around
to find out how not good.

Well, it's not all frowns.

Berger and I have
a lot of good stuff too.

It's complicated.

Complicated by the fact
that the man had to go all the way

to Long Island to think this through.

Maybe you can send him a postcard.

That is the most blatant
agenda-pushing I have ever seen.

-And the most effective.
-Wow!

I just wish I knew what he was thinking.

Oh, who cares? Look at his pecs.

I meant Berger.

It's so frustrating.
What am I supposed to do?

Just sit around waiting to find
out whether he chooses me?

I'm doing that all day at jury duty
and it sucks.

Here's an idea!

Why don't you use this time
to think about what you want?

Remember you?

What do you want?

Ah!

The next day, I got to thinking
about trials and trial separations.

In a courtroom,
a jury decides the outcome.

In a relationship, the victims
have to decide their own fate.

How can two people mired in the mess
ever figure it out?

Do we need distance to get close?

Uh, sorry.

Cab gridlock situation.

They should rename the West Side Highway
the "No-Way" Highway.

Ah, let me just pull out
my files on the Mackenzie case--

We're not here to discuss
the Mackenzie case.

Oh! I'm sorry then,
what is this meeting about?

You.

We're concerned.

It's been noted recently that
you've been late to important meetings

and are struggling to handle
your case load.

I'm sorry, Maurice.
I don't know what you mean.

I was late today, but--

Actually, you've been late
rather frequently.

There was the deposition last Tuesday,
and the motion hearing last Friday,

and you left early on Monday.

Way to watch my back, Fern.

I understand it's been difficult.

With the new baby and all.

Got it.

No problem, won't happen again.

But let me say, as far as
the Mackenzie brief,

Miranda Hobbes is kicking ass.

Where I am doing a bad job is at home.

So, if you'll excuse me,
I have work to do.

And may I remind you
that when my mother died,

I was back in the office on Monday.

Oh.

Guess what I'm drinking?

An Absolut Hunk, you're a drink!

Mmm, and you're delish.

Take off that ski cap.
Let people see you.

I don't want people to see me.

Everybody's giving me shit
about the poster.

Oh, you're insane. People love it!

Not my people.

My sober buddies are pissed
that I'm shelling for a liquor company,

my acting class thinks I'm a sell-out,

my ma's running around every grocery
store in Seattle hiding magazines,

so my 96-year-old grandmother
doesn't see my dick.

Drunks, nobodies, prudes.

But, I just don't see
where this is going.

It would be one thing
if I was getting auditions,

but nothing's happening.

I'm sorry to bother you,
but are you the Absolut Hunk?

Yes!

-He is.

Well, I just wanted to say that
my friends and I are huge, huge fans.

Oh, my God.

Hi.

It's working! What did I tell you?

How does those guys toasting me
mean my acting career is happening?

First come the gays, then the girls,

then... the industry.

- Cheers!
-Cheers.

And speaking of Absolute Gay,

Charlotte was on a lunch date
with Yenta number two's son.

So, I mean, I guess I just knew
it wasn't gonna work out.

I mean, I like practicing Pilates,

but I don't want
to talk about it all day

with my significant other.

And what are you looking
for exactly in a...

"significant other"?

Look...
We don't need to do this.

You know I'm gay. I know I'm gay.

The only person who doesn't
know I'm gay is my mother.

-Oh.

So if you really want
to know what my type is...

That's it.

I know him.

Get out! Get out!

Could you introduce me?

Actually, he's straight.

Oh!

My brother will be so disappointed.

We're obsessed with him.

Charlotte, honey.

Hi, Elaine.

You went out with a fagelah
and a mieskeit

and you can't go out with my David?

It's just those blind dates are so...

Wait, not so blind.

I showed David your picture
from the last newsletter

and he thought you were a knockout.

Well, that's nice.

I told him you'd be at the next
single and mingle night at the temple,

you could meet there.

He's a looker, my David.

Now, I know most people say that
about their children, but he is.

Oh.

And he's even better looking in person.

-So you'll meet him?
-Mmm.

Never had braces, can you imagine?

Some people are
bullied into blind dating.

Charlotte was bubbied.

I'm here, I'm here.

Is he still awake?

Oh. No, no.

Boy go to sleep an hour ago.

Great!

It's great.

Well, I just guess I can just
get back to my work then.

That night, the only thing
Miranda put to bed

was the Mackenzie brief.

The next day, the verdict was in.

Century 21, the downtown discount store,
was the best part of jury duty.

-Hello.

I'm with two men in plaid pants
and I'm carrying a nine iron.

Greetings from California.

Oh, you think that's bad?
I'm discount shopping.

What are you doing golfing?

I'm just in it
for the scotch afterwards.

How are things?

Uh, pretty good.

So far I've found the most
unbelievable Anna Molinari dress

and a Dolce kimono.

I meant in your life.

How's tricks?

Tricks are for kids.

Okay, kid.

So, how's it going
with that guy, hot dog?

Berger. Why do you ask?

Because we're friends
and friends ask other friends

how things are in their lives.

Besides, I don't tee off
for another ten minutes.

Uh, we're great, great.

Moved in together yet?

Um...

Actually, we're taking it slow.

What's that mean?

Well, we're kinda taking a break.

You're taking a break?

A little break.

I don't know why I told him.

I think I crumbled under questioning.

You haven't been together that long.

What are you taking a break from?

Well, sometimes a person
needs a little space.

From you?

This guy must be crazy.

Spoken by the man who
moved 3,000 miles away.

You know, a break
can be a very good thing.

As long as you're alright with it.

I am very okay with it, in fact--

Carrie, you're breaking up.

No, we're not, Berger and I will fig--

No, your cell phone is breaking up.

I can hardly hear you. Hello?

- Hello?
-He...

With an armful
of discount clothing,

I realized I could no longer
discount my feelings.

I decided to rent a car

and drive the distance
to get closer to Berger.

I paid $187 to drive 40-feet.

What did I think I was gonna do?

Badger my boyfriend into being with me?

Well, that's one option.

I just keep thinking,
you know, if I stick with it...

just tried a little harder--

Carrie...

You know how much
I like Berger, but come on.

No one can accuse you
of not having tried.

-You did good.
-I mean, Berger can be...

threatened and insecure,

and sometimes he shuts down. But...

But he's also smart and funny...

Like, he made up this thing...
this "Hollywood kiss" thing.

Whenever we're being
pissy with each other,

we do this fake Hollywood kiss bit...

and it makes us laugh.

You guys need a "bit"?

I know, it isn't working.

Why is it so hard to admit that?

God, I gotta break up with him.

If he ever comes back.

-Mmm.
- All clean!

- Oh...
-Oh, lookie, here's mommy.

- Hey, guy.

-Here we go. Yes.
-How was your bath?

Magda, I'll see you at 8:00 tomorrow.

Thank you for everything. It's okay.

Don't cry, Magda be back tomorrow.

Hey, I missed you today, how are you?

Bye-bye, Brady. No more crying.

-Oh, you, darling. Bye-bye.

Oh... What's wrong with him?

Oh, he'll be fine.

He just misses his mommy...

Magda.

It's okay.

The next day, Miranda decided
to do something about that.

We both know that this isn't working.

And as much as I would like it to,
it's not just gonna magically change.

What are you saying?

I can't keep working like this.

I'm going to have to cut way back...

to 50 hours a week.

55 tops.

Yeah, okay.

-Yeah...

That night, Miranda was there
to put Brady to bed,

but there would still be times
when she wouldn't be around,

so Miranda found a way to be around.

- Yeah.

And at bus stops
all around town...

Fuckin' A.

Everybody in New York
thinks I'm an asshole.

Listen blondie, if you're
gonna be in this business,

you're gonna have to be a lot
more thick-skinned than this.

What business?
The naked hustler business?

Look, I understand you're upset,

but you're gonna have
to take a step backwards

and see the big picture.

I need some time to think.

-I'll see you later.
-Stop right there.

So there's a bump in the road.

You can't bail the minute
things get rough.

Now, trust me, this will all work out.

What if you're wrong?

There it was, a frown.

Or as close to a frown as
Samantha and her dermatologist,

Dr. Peterson, would allow.

Oh, my God, look!

There he is, the Absolut Hunk!

What did I tell you?

First the gays, now the girls...

A hop, skip, and a week later,
the industry followed.

Gus Van Sant offered Smith
the part of a model/hustler/junkie

in his latest movie,
which he happily accepted.

Uh, you grew up in Connecticut?
I went to school there.

Really, where'd you go?

Yale.

Oh.

Something wrong with Yale?

No, no, it's just...

Yale.

Charlotte knew how
silly she sounded.

The problem wasn't
that David went to Yale.

The problem was, he wasn't Harry.

David, you're really nice.

In fact, you're perfect.

But, for where I am right now,

you might as well be
a gay man with carnations.

I'm sorry?

I'm just not ready to date.

Okay.

Do you wanna go back to
my apartment and have sex?

No.

Figured it was worth asking.

- Okay.

I think I'm gonna head out, bye.

This blows.

The only cute guy just left.

All that's left is
the fatties and the baldies.

Charlotte could only hope
that one of the baldies

was her baldie.

Out of all the synagogues
in all the cities

you had to walk into mine.

Harry.

How ya been?

Not good.

I miss you.

And being away from you just
only made it all the more clear

how much I love you.

-Charlotte...
-Wait. Just...

Let me finish.

I don't care if you ever marry me.

I just want to be with you.

I would be lucky to have you.

So, if you can find
some way to forgive me,

if you could just call me,

or just ask me out again.

Well, that's not good enough.

Charlotte York...

will you marry me?

Yes. Yes, I'll marry you.

Oh!

I am so coming back next week.

Uh-huh.

It wasn't a pineapple,
but it was just as weird,

and there was only one other person
who would really appreciate it.

At that moment I knew I wasn't
ready to let Berger go.

Okay, people, you're released.

Who is it?

It's me. I'm back.

Oh. Well, come on up.

When it comes to a trial, you
have to listen to the evidence.

But when it comes to the trials of love,

you have to listen to your heart.

I didn't know what
Berger's verdict would be,

but I knew mine.

I hear they're making a comeback.

Hey, Berger, I know things have
been bad, but I really think--

I know.

I love you, Carrie.

I want to try to make this work.

Hey, you're never gonna believe it.

You know the mango guy?

He pulled out...

-A pineapple?
-A coconut.

Oh, so close.

I know.