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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:14,231 Ooh, that can't be Lorenzo and Claire. 2 00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:15,798 They're never early. 3 00:00:15,928 --> 00:00:17,452 Maybe they smelled your cooking. 4 00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:23,240 No, it's just the freeloaders that smelled it. 5 00:00:24,807 --> 00:00:27,375 I'm sorry, I didn't know freeloaders paid rent. 6 00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:29,290 Yeah, I still say we pay too much rent. 7 00:00:29,464 --> 00:00:31,118 Look at this place. 8 00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:32,293 All right, now, where's that pot roast I smell? 9 00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:34,251 : - Yeah. - Whoa, not so fast. 10 00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:36,123 That food is for company. 11 00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:37,907 Not for people who we love and care about. 12 00:00:38,081 --> 00:00:38,908 Get out. 13 00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:40,605 What? Wh... Oh... 14 00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:42,694 Don't worry. Mommy made you boys some extra. 15 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:45,741 Now get out. 16 00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:49,614 Oh, I get it. 17 00:00:49,788 --> 00:00:51,225 Y'all get a kitchen island 18 00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:53,531 and suddenly you're too good for us. 19 00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:54,837 Suddenly? 20 00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:56,273 We were too good for y'all 21 00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:57,318 when we got the George Foreman Grill. 22 00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:58,232 Bye-bye. 23 00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:02,671 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 24 00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:03,846 ♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪ 25 00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,199 Oh, my G-- I love 26 00:01:09,373 --> 00:01:10,983 - the renovations, you guys. - Thank you. 27 00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:12,202 Yeah, who was your contractor? 28 00:01:12,376 --> 00:01:14,378 An earthquake. 29 00:01:14,552 --> 00:01:16,206 And just like most contractors, 30 00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:18,165 she showed up whenever she felt like it. 31 00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:22,256 Uh, hey, guys, that was Gemma. 32 00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:23,692 She's stuck at work, so it looks like 33 00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:25,694 you're with just Dave tonight. 34 00:01:25,824 --> 00:01:27,609 Solo Dave. 35 00:01:27,783 --> 00:01:30,220 Dave after dark. 36 00:01:30,351 --> 00:01:32,309 Maybe we'll just keep the lights on. 37 00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:35,878 Hey, so Calvin said you guys used to live 38 00:01:36,052 --> 00:01:37,401 in the neighborhood. Why did you leave? 39 00:01:37,575 --> 00:01:39,011 'Cause the white people started moving in. 40 00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:43,103 He's joking. Yeah. 41 00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:47,237 We moved to D.C. for a few years for Lorenzo's job. 42 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:49,587 Yeah, and when they moved back, they moved 43 00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:51,372 to the Westside. 44 00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:53,852 Leaving us behind. 45 00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:55,941 I could never leave you behind, C. Come on. 46 00:01:56,986 --> 00:01:57,943 Even though my best man tried 47 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,076 to outshine me at my own wedding. 48 00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:03,558 Hey, don't be mad because I showed up suited and booted. 49 00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:06,387 You went with the basic black, I showed up 50 00:02:06,561 --> 00:02:08,476 with the purple tux with the Now & Later gators, man. 51 00:02:11,261 --> 00:02:13,263 Well, I am so glad you guys are back. 52 00:02:13,394 --> 00:02:15,744 So here's to picking up where we left off. 53 00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:18,355 - Yeah. - I love you, babe. 54 00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:21,750 And I love you, too, baby, just as much as I did back then. 55 00:02:21,924 --> 00:02:24,579 Aww. Mwah. 56 00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:27,277 Man, this makes me want to marry Gemma all over again just so you 57 00:02:27,408 --> 00:02:28,887 could be my best man. 58 00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:31,760 Remind me not to save the date. 59 00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:35,372 Looks like I need a refill. 60 00:02:35,546 --> 00:02:38,201 Oh, yeah. You know where it is. Right back there. 61 00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:41,248 Mm. All right, so now that he is gone, 62 00:02:41,422 --> 00:02:43,250 we need to plan our couples trip. 63 00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:45,077 And Dave, you and Gemma should come this time. 64 00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:46,949 Oh, well, what are we thinking? 65 00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:49,604 Aloha or buenos días? 66 00:02:49,778 --> 00:02:51,475 We'll be lucky if it's "welcome to Orange County." 67 00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:53,782 Yeah, Lorenzo never wants 68 00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:55,523 to go anywhere anymore. 69 00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:58,352 Neither does Calvin unless it's on Groupon. 70 00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:01,442 Tina, you sleeping on Groupon. Literally. 71 00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:03,531 Those sheets? $25. 72 00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:07,404 Plus, 30% off on teeth whitening. 73 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,018 Yeah, looks like I need a refill, also. 74 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,455 - All right. - Yeah, me, too. 75 00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:16,196 I'm single tonight, 76 00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:17,632 so I'm gonna turn up. 77 00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:22,724 As soon as I can get away, it'll just be you, me 78 00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:24,552 and those beautiful toes of yours. 79 00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:28,425 Bring the whipped cream. 80 00:03:29,861 --> 00:03:31,298 Hey. 81 00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:33,778 Hey. Uh... 82 00:03:33,952 --> 00:03:35,780 How long you guys been standing there? 83 00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:38,870 Long enough to know that you into some freaky stuff. 84 00:03:39,044 --> 00:03:40,959 Whoa. 85 00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:43,353 What an incredible time for me to lose my hearing. 86 00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:49,794 What is going on, Zo? 87 00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:52,319 I know you not out here creeping on Claire. 88 00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:54,712 Y'all were just all lovey-dovey on the couch. 89 00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:57,324 I got a lot of love in my heart, C. 90 00:03:57,454 --> 00:03:59,848 Some of it is for Claire and some of it's for this 91 00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:03,808 23-year-old, beautiful dental assistant I met at Costco. 92 00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:06,594 You know what? 93 00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:09,945 We always said we'd keep it real with each other. 94 00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:12,817 Well, is this little side piece worth blowing up your marriage? 95 00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:14,341 I love Claire. 96 00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:16,995 But what she doesn't know won't hurt her. 97 00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:18,127 And you got my back, right? 98 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,390 Remember The Man Code. 99 00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,349 The Man Code? 100 00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:24,133 Don't come at me with that. 101 00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:25,961 Look, I'm not down with your bull, 102 00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:28,790 but... I'm not a snitch, either. 103 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,270 : What about your boy? 104 00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:32,272 Oh, he over there telling Claire right now. 105 00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:34,012 Oh, my God... Look, look, look. 106 00:04:34,186 --> 00:04:37,146 Look, I'm just messing with you, 107 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,974 but this a dangerous game you playing. 108 00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:46,503 -: - Stop. 109 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,115 Stop! 110 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,727 Oh, my gosh, you are so funny! 111 00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:54,381 I said stop! 112 00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:57,384 Oh, okay, okay, I'll talk to you later. 113 00:04:57,514 --> 00:04:58,341 Hey, hon. 114 00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:03,477 Hey, who, uh, who's the comedian? 115 00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:05,696 Jameson, the school's soccer coach. 116 00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,263 I've been helping him with scheduling. 117 00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:09,352 Oh. He really had you laughing, huh? 118 00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:12,268 Yeah, I told him he should do stand-up. 119 00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:14,096 Stand-up? 120 00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:18,840 I don't think you ever said that to me. 121 00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:21,973 Yeah, well, there's stand-up funny 122 00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:24,759 and then there's "sitting around the house" funny. 123 00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:28,153 Oh, it's Jameson again. 124 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,330 I'm laughing already. 125 00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:32,723 Hey, Jameson. 126 00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,684 Oh, my gosh, please stop! 127 00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:43,081 Did she just snort? 128 00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:48,304 Tonight was fun. 129 00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:51,263 Yeah, nothing like old friends, right? 130 00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:55,355 Eh, there was just something different about Lorenzo. 131 00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:57,313 Really? 132 00:05:57,487 --> 00:06:00,969 He seemed like the same old loud Lorenzo to me. 133 00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:04,276 No, I mean, 134 00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:07,367 every time he went into the kitchen to freshen up his drink, 135 00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:09,194 he came back with an empty glass. 136 00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:11,414 Maybe the man was thirsty. 137 00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:17,594 You know, Calvin, I don't mean to talk about your boy, but... 138 00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:19,596 I think he may have a drinking problem. 139 00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:23,208 Oh. You know, maybe you're on to something with that. 140 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,602 Uh, we'll plan his intervention in the morning. Good night. 141 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:34,219 Okay. What's going on, Calvin? 142 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,004 Well, the lights. 143 00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:38,441 Even though I just turned them off. 144 00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:42,532 You ain't fooling nobody, Calvin Butler. 145 00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:44,099 You know something. 146 00:06:44,229 --> 00:06:47,232 Not at 11:59 at night, I don't. 147 00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:48,930 Okay? 148 00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:53,456 What's going on with Lorenzo? 149 00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:56,633 Babe, these are next-day questions, okay? All right. 150 00:06:56,807 --> 00:07:00,942 It's midnight, so technically, it is the next day. 151 00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:02,726 Spill it! 152 00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:08,428 : Okay. 153 00:07:08,558 --> 00:07:10,386 What I'm about to tell you got to be kept a secret. 154 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,997 Okay, but why are you whispering? 155 00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:14,216 I don't know. 156 00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:20,701 : Lorenzo's having an affair. 157 00:07:22,006 --> 00:07:23,399 -: - What? 158 00:07:23,573 --> 00:07:25,749 : Yes. 159 00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:30,145 Oh, my God, I can't believe that jackass. 160 00:07:30,319 --> 00:07:32,669 Claire is gonna be devastated when she finds out. 161 00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:34,366 No, she's not. 162 00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:36,064 Because she's not gonna find out. 163 00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:37,848 At least not from us. 164 00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:39,023 Calvin. 165 00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:41,373 Tina. 166 00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:44,812 Look, now, I'm not gonna say nothing and neither are you. 167 00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:46,422 Men, 168 00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:48,032 we live by The Man Code. 169 00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:50,078 Look, if I know you know something, 170 00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:51,514 then I could tell you. 171 00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:53,385 But if I don't know that you know, 172 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,475 then I can't tell you, you know? 173 00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:59,087 Oh, I know. 174 00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:02,351 And that nonsense should have expired when you turned 25. 175 00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:04,962 The Man Code is stupid. 176 00:08:05,136 --> 00:08:08,575 Well, if that isn't gender bias, I don't know what is, Tina. 177 00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:12,056 Calvin, 178 00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:14,145 Claire and I go way back, 179 00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:15,843 just like you and Lorenzo. 180 00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:18,672 And I will be calling her in the morning. 181 00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:27,942 Tina. 182 00:08:28,116 --> 00:08:31,511 You can't tell Claire that Lorenzo is cheating on her, 183 00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:34,557 'cause you'd be breaking The Marriage Code. 184 00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:36,907 The Marriage Code? 185 00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:39,997 Yes. It's sacred. 186 00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:45,394 Secrets between a husband and wife have to stay a secret. 187 00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:47,265 It's in the Bible. 188 00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:51,618 It's Leviticus 3:6... Mafia, or something. 189 00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:58,233 Yeah, but that does not outweigh Exodus 20:14 190 00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:01,366 "Do not screw around on your wife." 191 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,544 All right, all I'm saying is that we should stay out 192 00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:06,546 of other people's relationships. 193 00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:09,418 Agreed, but I live by The Sister Code. 194 00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:12,160 And if Claire asks me directly if I know what's going on, 195 00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:13,727 then I have to tell her. 196 00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:21,778 Oh, my God, it's Claire. What am I gonna do? 197 00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:24,999 All right, now, you can't tell her. 198 00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:27,958 I been knowing Lorenzo since I was in junior high school. 199 00:09:28,132 --> 00:09:29,481 Give me a chance to talk to him, 200 00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:31,440 let him see if he can make this right. 201 00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:33,790 But what if she already knows? I got to pick up. 202 00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:35,183 Hello? 203 00:09:35,357 --> 00:09:37,838 Oh, a-are you okay? 204 00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:39,840 Oh, your car broke down. 205 00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:42,016 Ugh, that's great. 206 00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:44,279 I mean, not-not great. I mean, 207 00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:46,281 considering the news it could've been, yeah, yeah. 208 00:09:46,411 --> 00:09:48,196 O-Oh, yeah, okay. 209 00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:50,067 Yeah, have it towed to the shop. 210 00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:53,505 And-and Calvin will be happy to fix it in the mistress. 211 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,291 I mean, the morning. In the morning. 212 00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:58,336 Okay. 213 00:09:58,510 --> 00:09:59,555 Bye-bye. 214 00:10:01,296 --> 00:10:02,645 Oh, my goodness. 215 00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:04,038 Look at my baby 216 00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:05,779 holding up The Marriage Code. 217 00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:08,216 - Come on, now. - Oh, yeah, it wasn't easy. 218 00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:09,609 You lucky you cute. 219 00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:11,872 I'm cute, huh? Mm-hmm. 220 00:10:12,046 --> 00:10:15,136 Am I cute enough for you to come on over here? 221 00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:16,616 Good night, Calvin. 222 00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:21,795 Y-You asleep already? 223 00:10:25,102 --> 00:10:26,190 Hey, honey. I'm taking a kickboxing class. 224 00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:27,627 I'll be back in an hour. 225 00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,019 - Okey dokey, hot and smoky. Mwah. - Mwah. 226 00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:32,153 Oh, hey, Gem, 227 00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:34,242 you forgot your phone. 228 00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:36,113 Oh. 229 00:10:36,244 --> 00:10:37,941 Text from Jameson. 230 00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:46,254 "Are we still on for 6:00? 231 00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:50,606 "Make sure to bring that peach emoji. 232 00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:54,262 Winky-face emoji, don't tell my wife." 233 00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:57,047 "Don't tell my wife"? 234 00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:01,661 This guy isn't funny at all. 235 00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:06,274 Maybe I'm missing something. 236 00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:08,145 Only one way to find out. 237 00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:11,453 Nope. 238 00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:12,976 What, did she change her password? 239 00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:14,935 Let me try her face. 240 00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:23,378 Oh, no. 241 00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:24,945 No, no, no. No, no, no. 242 00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:26,381 Ooh, don't lock, don't lock. 243 00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:28,339 Ooh, you locked. 244 00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:29,776 Darn it. 245 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,518 Oh, hey, Grover, want to play Candy Crush on Mom's phone? 246 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:34,955 Here you go. What? 247 00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:37,784 I-It's locked. 248 00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:39,742 What did you do? 249 00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:44,138 Nothing. You just handed it to me. 250 00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:45,922 What did you do? 251 00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:53,190 - Hey, baby. - Hey, babe. 252 00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:54,714 What are you doing here? 253 00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:57,978 Well, I am taking you out on a date. 254 00:11:58,152 --> 00:12:00,023 You know, I've been thinking about Claire and Lorenzo 255 00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:02,112 for the past few days, and it made me realize 256 00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:03,940 how good we have it. 257 00:12:04,114 --> 00:12:06,073 Yeah, we do have it good, - don't we? - Mm-hmm. 258 00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:08,553 Thou shall appreciate thy hot wife. 259 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,730 That's right. 260 00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:13,863 So what's wrong with the cheater's car? 261 00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:17,475 A pair of panties in the tailpipe? 262 00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:19,564 You know, baby, I hate being put in this position 263 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,697 by a two-timing, no good, 264 00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:22,698 low... 265 00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:24,221 ...renzo and Claire! 266 00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:27,181 - Hey, Calvin. - Hey. 267 00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:31,141 Well, your car is fixed and ready to go, you guys. 268 00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:33,404 Oh, Tina, I'm so happy you're here. 269 00:12:33,578 --> 00:12:35,102 There's something I wanted to ask you. 270 00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:36,712 W-Why do you need to ask her? 271 00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:38,845 You can ask me anything that you need. 272 00:12:40,324 --> 00:12:41,673 Because it's a question for Tina, 273 00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:43,850 'cause I know she'll be honest with me. 274 00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:55,600 Okay, so, this has been bothering me 275 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:56,993 since we hung out the other night. 276 00:12:57,167 --> 00:13:00,388 Oh, thank God. You and me both. 277 00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:03,434 I knew it. My pound cake was so dry, huh? 278 00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:04,958 Ugh. 279 00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:06,524 - I think it needed more eggs. - No, no, no. 280 00:13:06,698 --> 00:13:10,354 Actually, Claire, your pound cake was great. 281 00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:12,095 And so are you. 282 00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:14,881 Lorenzo's lucky to have you. 283 00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:16,534 Thank you, Tina. 284 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,015 So, what was bothering you? 285 00:13:19,189 --> 00:13:20,800 Ooh! Bae, Bae. 286 00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:22,323 Baby. 287 00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:25,065 : Tina and Calvin are so busy. 288 00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:26,762 We should probably just get out of here, baby. 289 00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:29,721 Okay, but stop rushing me. I want to talk to our friends. 290 00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,549 Okay, but we... So, Calvin, 291 00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:33,073 Calvin. 292 00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:34,857 So I heard you guys had fun at the game. 293 00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:35,989 The game? 294 00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:38,121 Yeah, yeah. Stop playing, C. 295 00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:40,297 The Lakers game last night. 296 00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:41,342 The Lakers game. 297 00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:42,473 Ha! Yeah, yeah. 298 00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:44,301 Yeah, the game was, uh, 299 00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:46,129 uh, it was a crazy game. 300 00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:48,088 You know what I'm saying? 301 00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:49,654 I drank a lot of them $20 beers, though, 302 00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:53,049 so, you know me, you know, I got the... all night. 303 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:55,835 I ended up winning some money. 304 00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:57,271 I won a lot of money last night. 305 00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:59,360 And g-guess I got lucky. That's me. 306 00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:02,015 Lucky, lucky Calvin. 307 00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:06,323 Calvin, can you help me find Lorenzo's keys 308 00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:08,238 in the office, please? 309 00:14:09,631 --> 00:14:11,328 Looks like my luck just ran out. 310 00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:17,117 Oh. 311 00:14:18,814 --> 00:14:20,120 : Hey. Hey, guys. 312 00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:22,687 - Oh, hey. - Hi. I need some help 313 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,690 unlocking Gemma's phone, and quickly, before she gets home. 314 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,258 Uh, Dave, before we break into your wife's phone, 315 00:14:28,432 --> 00:14:30,608 shouldn't you explain why we breaking into your wife's phone? 316 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,048 Sure. She has been spending a lot of time 317 00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:36,701 with the school's soccer coach. 318 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,529 She thinks this guy is hilarious, 319 00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:40,401 but obviously he's no me. 320 00:14:40,575 --> 00:14:43,056 I mean, I'm the funniest guy that you two know, right? 321 00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:46,102 Uh... Um... 322 00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:48,931 Hey, you are the funniest Dave that we know. 323 00:14:50,063 --> 00:14:51,803 Yeah-- Uh, oh, no. Dave Wilson. 324 00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:53,022 Oh, now, he is funny, right? 325 00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:55,024 He should do stand-up. 326 00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:57,244 Dave Wilson... Dave Wilson is a fool, boy. 327 00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:58,375 Oh, forget about Dave Wilson! 328 00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:02,249 Now, listen, 329 00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:05,382 Gemma left her phone, and I saw a text from him that said, 330 00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,776 "Bring that peach emoji," 331 00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:09,647 and then, "Don't tell my wife." 332 00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:12,737 What does the peach emoji even mean? 333 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,522 Oh... 334 00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:16,219 Uh... So... 335 00:15:16,393 --> 00:15:19,005 Well, uh, well, in-in the ever-evolving parlance 336 00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:20,745 of young folks, it is generally associated 337 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,747 with the gluteus maximus. 338 00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:26,926 "That ass," Dave. It means "that ass." 339 00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,492 It means "that ass"? 340 00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:30,103 - Yeah. - Hey, hey, hey. 341 00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:31,713 There must be some misunderstanding. 342 00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:33,280 Gemma would never step out on you, man. 343 00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,021 I know that, but if she finds out that I was snooping, 344 00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:36,413 then she's gonna think that I don't trust her, 345 00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:37,762 and then she won't trust me. 346 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:38,807 And then the next thing you know, 347 00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:39,939 she's hiding assets overseas 348 00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:41,592 and I'm picking up Grover on weekends. 349 00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:43,203 Okay, don't worry, Dave. 350 00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:45,988 You got the power of the U.S. government on your side. 351 00:15:47,859 --> 00:15:51,385 This is high-tech equipment used to debug the Mars rover, 352 00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:54,301 but now I can finally use it for something important. 353 00:15:54,431 --> 00:15:55,476 All right. 354 00:15:56,564 --> 00:15:57,957 Oh! Oh... 355 00:16:00,176 --> 00:16:01,395 Did it work? 356 00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,095 I can't believe you lied 357 00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:07,836 for that cheating Lorenzo. 358 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,969 Look, I didn't have no choice, Tina. 359 00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:12,536 All right? We've always had each other's back. 360 00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:15,539 What kind of man would I be if I sold out my oldest friend? 361 00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:18,542 The kind of man who does the right thing, 362 00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:20,022 even when it's hard. 363 00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:23,634 Yo, everything good in here? 364 00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:27,029 Calvin will fill you in. 365 00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:37,866 So, she knows, doesn't she? 366 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,564 Tina's not your problem. Claire is. 367 00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:42,784 Why didn't you pick up on the Lakers thing quicker, man? 368 00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:46,309 Oh, I'm sorry. Did I not lie fast enough for you? 369 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:47,789 It was bad enough you pulled me into your mess, 370 00:16:47,963 --> 00:16:50,487 but now you messing up my thing. 371 00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:54,230 So, you're gonna blow up my spot? 372 00:16:54,361 --> 00:16:56,232 You blew up your spot. 373 00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:58,234 Man, you got Claire out here looking stupid, 374 00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:00,541 and we both know she doesn't deserve that. 375 00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:01,759 You need to fix this. 376 00:17:01,933 --> 00:17:03,587 Fix what? 377 00:17:03,761 --> 00:17:06,547 Okay, now you testing my patience. 378 00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:09,593 Okay. Look, Claire. If you... These are not mine. They're not mine. 379 00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:11,334 They're not mine, Tina. 380 00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:12,901 Claire, if you calm down... What's going on here? 381 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:15,556 Oh, what's going on? I found some hoochie's flip-flops 382 00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:17,297 under the front seat. 383 00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:20,474 You cheating on me! 384 00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:21,953 What? 385 00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:29,570 So you have been taking other women to get pedicures? 386 00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:31,180 Look, Claire, I was just coming out here to tell you. 387 00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:33,835 I'm sorry. I know House of Toes is our place. 388 00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,491 Oh! 389 00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:39,493 Do something, Calvin. 390 00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,495 What do want me to do? The lady's holding a tire iron. 391 00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:42,583 Baby, baby, baby! 392 00:17:42,713 --> 00:17:44,498 Babe, please. 393 00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:45,803 We can fix this. 394 00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:47,718 Oh, hell no. 395 00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:52,201 And you will never see these feet again, cheater. 396 00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:53,681 Don't do that. 397 00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:54,986 No-- Baby! 398 00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:56,249 Oh! 399 00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:04,909 Uh... 400 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,998 That divorce is gonna cost you, 401 00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,609 but not as much as this paint job. 402 00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:15,268 Luckily, I just needed to flip the breaker. 403 00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:17,357 Yeah, unfortunately, this is gonna need a lot more help. 404 00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:22,753 I'm never gonna recover from this. 405 00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:25,452 Time to start looking into high-powered divorce attorneys. 406 00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:26,975 Ooh. 407 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,630 H-Hey, Gemma. 408 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,501 Oh! Gemma. Gemma. 409 00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:32,807 Uh, the gem who's a ma. 410 00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:34,896 The ma who is a gem. 411 00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:36,550 Come here, my precious stone. 412 00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:38,378 Oh, okay. 413 00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:40,641 Uh, for some reason, my tablet said my phone is here. 414 00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:41,685 Oh... 415 00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:42,773 And why does it look like 416 00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:44,123 your mom's banana bread? 417 00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:52,305 So, I'm gonna go. 418 00:18:52,435 --> 00:18:54,089 Uh, y-you two enjoy our lovely home. 419 00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:55,612 And remember, checkout's at 11:00. 420 00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:01,227 Uh... Gemma. 421 00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:04,882 Y-You are gonna laugh when you hear this story. 422 00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:07,233 Dave, what's going on? 423 00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:09,322 Okay, look, to be honest, 424 00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:13,239 I saw a part of a text from Jameson, 425 00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:15,241 and I know it was wrong, but it made me a little jealous, 426 00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:16,459 so I tried to read the rest. 427 00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:18,461 And? 428 00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:21,377 Well, and he asked you 429 00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:25,512 to bring "that peach emoji," which any person hip 430 00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:27,470 to the ever-evolving parlance of young folks 431 00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:31,170 knows means... "that ass." 432 00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:36,566 Dave, he sends me peach emojis 433 00:19:36,697 --> 00:19:39,482 when he's talking about my homemade peach cobbler. 434 00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:41,832 But he's not supposed to eat it because him and his wife Susan 435 00:19:42,006 --> 00:19:43,312 are on a diet. 436 00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:48,274 Well, someone should tell Jameson 437 00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:50,058 what a peach emoji means. 438 00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:54,802 Look, I'm sorry. 439 00:19:54,932 --> 00:19:57,500 All of this is because Calvin's friend did something 440 00:19:57,674 --> 00:19:59,285 that just sent me into a spiral. 441 00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:02,288 Well, I don't know what that's about, 442 00:20:02,462 --> 00:20:03,941 but you know you can talk to me about anything. 443 00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:05,900 Yeah, I-I know that, 444 00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:08,816 and I should never have invaded your privacy. 445 00:20:08,946 --> 00:20:11,514 It's just, you were laughing so much with that guy. 446 00:20:11,688 --> 00:20:14,169 You even snorted one time. You never snort with me. 447 00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:18,478 There's nothing sexy about snorting. 448 00:20:18,652 --> 00:20:20,741 And I want to be sexy in front of you. 449 00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:22,525 You know you make me 450 00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:24,397 laugh harder than anybody. 451 00:20:24,527 --> 00:20:26,094 - You think I could do stand-up? - Nope. 452 00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:30,838 But that's only because I want you all to myself. 453 00:20:32,883 --> 00:20:35,103 And don't worry about Jameson. 454 00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:37,453 I could never do the whole "Chris Hemsworth-looking 455 00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:39,629 soccer coach" type. Bleh. 456 00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:42,806 "Bleh" is right. 457 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:45,505 Chris-Chris Hemsworth? 458 00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:48,072 As in, uh, Thor, God of the Thunder? 459 00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:55,906 Captioning sponsored by CBS 460 00:20:56,080 --> 00:21:00,215 and TOYOTA. 461 00:21:00,389 --> 00:21:04,219 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 32761

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