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1
00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:11,679
I can't wait to see
your new renovations.
2
00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:14,014
I have not been
this excited for a reveal
3
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:17,051
since L.A. announced
their new composting program.
Oh, yeah.
4
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:19,987
ou're excited? Y
5
00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:22,523
We've been living
with our parents for 140 days.
6
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,958
Uh, I had 175.
7
00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:26,894
At least that's
what it felt like.
8
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,562
You?
9
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:31,065
I was about ready to Shawshank
my way out of there.
10
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,667
Well, so hold on,
11
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:36,070
Calvin, did you really
let Tina handle everything?
12
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:38,206
Yes.
Look.
13
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:40,741
All I wanted to know was
how much is it gonna cost,
14
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,976
and when is it
gonna be done?
15
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:44,745
Well, it's all done now.
16
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,747
And the earthquake insurance
paid for most of it.
17
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,015
Most of it?
18
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,417
How much did we...?
19
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,319
Welcome, everybody, welcome!
Yay!
20
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:54,155
Welcome!
21
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:56,324
Oh, my God!
22
00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:58,058
This is like the best episode
23
00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:00,394
of Fixer Upper ever.
24
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,497
Wow.
25
00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:05,299
Well, I sure hate our house now.
26
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:06,967
Right?
27
00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,602
This is amazing.
28
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,571
I wish it was this ritzy
when we were kids.
29
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,773
Hey, it's not ritzy-- hey!
Oh...
30
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,176
D-Don't touch anything.
31
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:18,246
It's a good thing it wasn't
this nice when we were young,
32
00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:19,847
'cause we would've
destroyed it.
33
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:21,515
Oh, yeah, definitely, yeah,
we would've broken that.
34
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,284
Yep.
We would've broken that.
35
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,353
We definitely
would've broken all that.
36
00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:27,455
And, look, Gemma!
37
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:28,922
A wine fridge.
38
00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:30,991
No more
lukewarm chardonnay.
Oh!
39
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:36,430
So, Calvin, what do you
think about the new digs?
40
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:39,667
Well, it's a lot of
big changes, but, um,
41
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,769
I like what I've done
with the place.
42
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,437
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
43
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:46,640
You? You fought every single
change the whole way.
44
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,443
Oh, Tina, Tina.
45
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:51,512
How about we leave
the old attitude
46
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,181
at the old house?
47
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:55,015
It just doesn't go
with the decor.
48
00:01:56,684 --> 00:01:58,486
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
49
00:01:58,619 --> 00:01:59,953
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
50
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:05,058
And this island is so big,
51
00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:07,195
it's almost
like an actual island.
52
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,563
Nice.
53
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,632
Now, when I tell the ladies
I've been to the islands,
54
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,801
I won't be lying.
55
00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:17,638
Excuse me.
56
00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:20,808
Calvin!
57
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:23,444
Wake up. What are you doing?
We have guests, baby.
58
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,346
Well, don't blame me, babe.
59
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,449
I mean, you're the one
that reupholstered my old chair.
60
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,318
Hmm.
And she's so pretty,
61
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:32,119
I might have to give her a name.
62
00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:34,988
Well, I'm glad
you like it,
63
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:36,424
but if you name it,
64
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,125
both of y'all gonna be
in the backyard.
65
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:41,094
Just saying.
66
00:02:41,229 --> 00:02:43,331
Ooh, check out Mom's
new fancy refrigerator.
67
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:45,333
It makes five different
types of ice.
68
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:46,600
Ice is ice, Marty.
69
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:47,868
How many different types
do you need?
70
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,803
Oh, you simple man.
71
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:53,874
This makes crushed,
cubed, shaved, pebbled,
72
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,544
and a big-ass square block
for your Scotch.
73
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,846
Check this out.
74
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:00,748
Aha.
75
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,450
This is why people
hate the rich.
76
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:04,051
Thank you.
77
00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:08,121
Ooh, Tina!
78
00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:09,257
Calvin.
79
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,793
Your home is just gorgeous!
80
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:15,263
Oh, well, thank you,
Miss Kim.
81
00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:17,431
I'm so glad you chose to stay
82
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:20,534
and remodel, instead of moving
out of the neighborhood.
83
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:24,272
It's about time this
block started to change.
84
00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:27,808
Yeah, well, n-no, I'm not
trying to change anything.
85
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,379
You've changed everything.
86
00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:35,616
I just hope you haven't
changed your bedroom curtains.
87
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,419
I like seeing your
silhouettes at night.
88
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:41,755
Tina, are you hearing
all this?
89
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,957
Yeah, got it--
blackout curtains.
90
00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:45,293
Uh, Miss Kim?
91
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,060
Would you like
to see our bedroom
92
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,662
from the inside
for a change?
93
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:49,797
Oh, goodie.
94
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:52,065
Okay, right this way.
95
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,101
Well, well, well.
96
00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:55,903
Check you out.
97
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:57,305
New kitchen,
98
00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,340
new living room, new furniture.
99
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,809
I don't even know how to act
in this house anymore.
100
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:04,378
Me neither. He even
bougied out his chair.
101
00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:06,347
Well, you know,
I upgraded her
102
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:07,981
a little bit, man.
103
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,650
And she hugs my body
104
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,652
like I just came home
from the war.
105
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,689
I'm thinking
about giving her a name.
106
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:17,991
Renata.
Renata.
107
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,328
But don't tell Tina,
don't tell Tina.
Oh, no, no, uh-uh.
108
00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:21,595
Hey, come on,
let me get y'all a beer, man.
109
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,163
All right, all right.
110
00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:25,198
Uh-oh, look at that,
green apples. Okay.
111
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:31,004
Thank you, sir.
Now hold on.
112
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:34,074
Let me elevate
the experience for you.
113
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:36,009
Because beer...
114
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,545
tastes better...
115
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,580
in frosted mugs.
116
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,250
A fridge just for
chilling beer mugs?
117
00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:44,952
Fancy.
Mm.
118
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:46,920
Dang.
119
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:49,357
Ole Calvin used to be
one of us.
Mm-hmm.
120
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,392
Now he done gone Hollywood.
121
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:54,728
Can we even use slang
in this house anymore?
122
00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:56,397
Hey, man.
123
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:58,966
Come on, now, I'm still
Calvin from the block.
124
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:00,834
Mm.
Ain't nothing changed about me
125
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:04,104
except for this house, and
insurance paid for most of it.
126
00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:07,274
What kind of bougie insurance
covers a mug froster?
127
00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:10,378
Man, I own a bar
and I don't even have that.
128
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:13,146
Well, that's because I got
real insurance.
129
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,883
Not one that has a table
at the swap meet.
130
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:20,521
I must admit it's
really nice to see
131
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,391
how the other half
lives... Hollywood.
132
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,228
Okay, all right, you two
done had your fun, man.
133
00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:30,297
You can stop calling me Hollywood.
134
00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:33,166
Hey, we ain't mad
at you, Hollywood.
135
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,403
Don't call security.
136
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:36,837
Uh-oh.
137
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,472
No, I don't have
to call security,
138
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,541
but I might call the IRS
and let 'em know
139
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,843
that them two kids you claim
are not really yours.
140
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,016
Hey, are you almost ready?
141
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:50,584
We're gonna be late for
Calvin and Tina's party.
142
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:52,986
I know,
but we need to talk.
143
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:54,688
Oh, God, what did I do?
What did I forget?
144
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:57,090
Can I just pre-apologize,
so we can go to the party?
145
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,128
Look, watch whatever
freaky thing you're into,
146
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,163
just please do it
on your own tablet.
147
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:07,267
♪ Ride with me, all my girls,
all my girls with me... ♪
148
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:16,810
Why didn't you tell me you were
into videos of women twerking?
149
00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:18,946
I'm not. I'm...
150
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:21,649
I mean, I am now, uh...
151
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:24,251
But it wasn't me
who was watching those videos.
152
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:26,654
Oh, come on, Dave,
who else could it be?
153
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,255
Hey, I'm ready to go.
154
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,593
Marty said the housewarming's
turning into a dance party.
155
00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:33,827
I don't want to miss that.
156
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:35,763
I bet you don't.
157
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:39,633
Dave!
158
00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:41,368
Today it's twerking videos,
159
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:43,003
tomorrow it's something...
160
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,705
twerkier.
161
00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:47,007
Okay, well...
162
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:48,509
let's cancel the Internet.
163
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:50,343
No.
164
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:51,812
I think it's time we have a more
165
00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:53,614
mature conversation
with him about sex.
166
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,116
We've already explained
the basics,
167
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,551
so we just need
to take it up a level.
168
00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:59,487
Yeah, you're right,
but I'll-I'll do it.
169
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,889
Make it a father-son
bonding thing.
170
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:03,757
But first...
171
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:06,393
I don't know how they do this,
I mean, just-just physically.
172
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:09,029
Oh, it's easy.
It's all in the knees.
173
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:15,869
♪ Ride with me...
174
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:18,271
How'd you get so good at that?
175
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:19,973
From watching
twerking videos.
176
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:22,109
But I clear
my search history.
177
00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:28,415
Hey, Calvin, is Grover inside?
178
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:31,151
Yeah, he's in there
on my iPad.
179
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,285
Oh, no!
180
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,124
Whoa, look at you.
181
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:39,092
Frosted mug.
Somebody's living large.
182
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:41,294
I'm just living, Dave.
183
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:45,265
Look, I'm sorry, man.
It's just a lot of people
184
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:47,334
in there with a lot of opinions.
185
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:50,070
Well, I'm glad
you're out here alone.
186
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,740
We need to talk about sex.
187
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,410
Dave, we've had
that talk already.
188
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,981
No.
189
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:03,216
Gemma and I found out
that Grover's been watching
190
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:04,918
these twerking videos, and now
191
00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:06,687
I have to have
a real sex talk with him.
192
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,889
Oh.
And I was hoping
to run some ideas by you,
193
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:11,158
since presumably you've had
to do it twice.
194
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:13,661
More like six times.
195
00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:16,997
Marty refused to believe
that people would engage
196
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,932
in such "inappropriate
197
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:21,201
and unsanitary behavior."
198
00:08:23,771 --> 00:08:25,272
Well, look,
I'm just trying to avoid it
199
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:27,040
being awkward
and uncomfortable,
200
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:30,443
like, like the sex talk
that I had with my dad.
201
00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:32,045
Well, Dave,
you have a way of making
202
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,014
the simplest conversation awkward.
203
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:37,284
A lot like the way
this one started.
204
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,588
Look, I know, and I just...
205
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:41,922
I don't want
to screw up this up.
206
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,191
Look, man.
207
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,293
In this hyper-sexualized world
we live in,
208
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:49,362
Grover is bound to be exposed
one way or the other,
209
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:52,232
so you're smart to try
to get ahead of this.
210
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,603
But the most important thing
you can teach him
211
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:58,038
is to make good decisions
212
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,608
and treat his partners
with respect.
213
00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:02,676
Wow.
214
00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:05,512
You see, that, that was perfect.
215
00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:08,215
Can you be there
when I talk to Grover?
216
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:13,721
So you want
your neighbor to watch
217
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:16,990
while you talk
to your son about sex?
218
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,661
No, you're right. That's my
dad's sex talk all over again.
219
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,667
Oh, look, baby,
the Patels sent us a gift.
220
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,636
You know,
the neighborhood is
221
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:31,038
still talking about the party
and our remodel.
222
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:32,640
Yeah, I know.
223
00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:34,141
I'm just worried that
showing off our house
224
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,043
may have sent the wrong message.
225
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,678
I mean, Ernie
and the guys
226
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,312
kept saying that
I've gone Hollywood.
227
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,015
And that the Butlers,
we all Bel Air bougie now.
228
00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,219
Baby, they're just
busting your chops.
229
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,521
They didn't mean it.
230
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:51,058
Mama, can I have
another espresso macchiato
231
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,260
from your Italian coffee maker, please?
232
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:56,930
I love how it steams
the milk all light and foamy.
233
00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:58,531
Oh, okay.
234
00:09:58,666 --> 00:10:00,500
Oh, you want one,
Marty?
235
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,369
Uh, I guess, although last time
236
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:04,204
the steamed milk was light
237
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:06,373
but it was not
particularly foamy.
238
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,175
No.
239
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,110
Not bougie at all.
240
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,580
So why aren't y'all drinking
the coffee at your own place?
241
00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:15,215
'Cause you got all
the good stuff.
242
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:17,384
And we need it especially
after playing poker
243
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:19,052
at Ernie's all night long. Yeah.
244
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:20,788
Ernie had a poker night?
245
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,389
Well, yeah, Dad,
all the guys were there.
246
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:24,124
We figured you were busy
at the shop.
247
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:25,926
No. I wasn't invited.
248
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:27,527
You see, Tina?
249
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,529
Baby, they probably just forgot.
250
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,398
No, they didn't forget.
251
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:34,101
They think I've changed, like
I'm not one of them anymore.
252
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,603
No, no, look,
for what it's worth, Pop,
253
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:39,439
we did have your back when
the guys were clowning you.
254
00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:41,308
You did?
Yeah.
255
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,043
'Cause they was
going in on you, Pop!
256
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:46,079
Yo, Ernie said
you are so siditty,
257
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:47,815
you now pronounce
your name
258
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:50,483
:
Cal-veen Boot-lar!
259
00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:55,088
Ah!
260
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,227
After a couple hours
of clowning you,
261
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,529
we was like, "That's my
daddy, come on, now, like..."
262
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,732
That's what you did?
263
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:06,033
Yeah.
Yeah, we did.
264
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,167
Okay, well, Cal-veen
265
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:09,169
says get your own damn coffees.
266
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:10,738
No, Daddy, no...
267
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,907
Mmm, this is foamy.
268
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:19,780
Tina?
Mm-hmm.
269
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,448
I was looking
at that bidet
270
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:24,051
and realized
this is all your fault.
271
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,754
My fault? How is this my fault?
272
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,421
Well, you're the one
that invited people
273
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:30,057
over to our new abode and...
274
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,259
Did I just say "abode"?
275
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,595
What have you done to me?
276
00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:37,630
You know what,
maybe I have changed.
277
00:11:37,765 --> 00:11:40,033
Baby, you haven't changed.
278
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,569
You just now have a house
that's tailored to your taste.
279
00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,772
They'll come around.
280
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:47,440
No, this is how it starts, Tina.
281
00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:49,409
First you're not invited
to poker.
282
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,644
Then you're shunned
by your whole community.
283
00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:53,546
Eventually your only friend
284
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,648
is a recliner named Renata.
285
00:11:57,985 --> 00:12:00,053
Yeah, I knew you would name it.
286
00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:03,891
Babe, the way
she cradles me in her lap...
287
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:06,693
just calling her "chair"
felt rude.
288
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:10,297
Don't make me rip out
her stuffing.
289
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:14,167
Look, baby, you're just
overreacting about all of this.
290
00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:17,670
Our community still looks
to you as a leader.
291
00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:21,041
No, babe,
not if they can't relate to me.
292
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:23,010
They're starting
to pull away, Tina.
293
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:24,912
Because they think...
294
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,980
they think I'm the new Omarosa.
295
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:30,050
Okay.
296
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,152
All right, no, how about this,
why don't you invite
297
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,054
the guys over to watch a game?
298
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,556
You can talk a lot of trash
and prove to them
299
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:38,425
that you're still
the same old Calvin.
300
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:41,061
:
Splendid idea!
301
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:44,231
This house got me saying
"splendid"
302
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:45,732
with a British accent.
303
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:47,567
Yeah.
304
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:48,836
You know what, now I'm peeved.
305
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,005
You know what, damn it,
I'm gonna just stop talking.
306
00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:58,011
Which is why the most
important thing is consent.
307
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,013
You know, you never want
to make anyone do something
308
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,648
that they're not
comfortable with.
309
00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:03,516
Well, you make me
clean my room.
310
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,185
I didn't consent
to that.
311
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:10,858
Well, that's your mom, not me.
312
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:14,094
Now, let's talk
about those twerking videos.
313
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:17,097
It is completely normal
for you to want to watch them.
314
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:20,500
Oh, good, but why can't
I stop watching them?
315
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,670
That's a good question.
316
00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:25,672
Uh, well...
317
00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:28,041
Grover, we have
these things called hormones.
318
00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:30,343
Uh, which are...
319
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,712
you know, little guys that
bounce around inside your body
320
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,949
and... make you want
to buy engagement rings
321
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:39,386
and... be nice to passive-
aggressive mother-in-laws.
322
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:42,890
What?
323
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:46,526
No, I get it, I get it,
it's-it's complicated.
324
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,961
Luckily...
325
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:49,462
I've written a song.
326
00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:50,630
Oh, no.
327
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:56,904
See, what'd I tell you, man?
328
00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:59,572
Just a regular old game night
with the regular fellas.
329
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,608
Yeah, all right.
Yeah!
330
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,110
Thanks for having
us over, Calvin.
331
00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:05,578
This new 4K TV
is no joke.
332
00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:08,548
The Lakers look like they're
actually in the living room.
333
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:10,817
Oh!
334
00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:11,985
I thought Durant was
335
00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:13,120
actually gonna kick me.
336
00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:16,723
Ooh, LeBron on a breakaway.
There he go!
337
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:18,258
Boom!
338
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,164
Uh... Malcolm did it.
339
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,298
What?
Malcolm did it.
340
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:26,934
Ernie did it.
341
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:28,969
Do not point your finger at me.
342
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,737
Okay, all right, guys,
come on, now.
343
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:32,339
Accidents happen.
344
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,274
Ain't nothing a few napkins
can't take care of.
345
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:36,443
Here you go, just get that.
346
00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:38,345
Are you okay?
I'm okay.
347
00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:39,947
Yeah.
348
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,116
Ernie?
Hmm?
349
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:45,752
Old buddy, you mind, uh,
taking your feet off my ottoman?
350
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:47,587
It's an ottoman.
351
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:49,456
Isn't that where you're supposed
to put your feet?
352
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:52,659
Not when it's made out
of Bolivian bovine, no.
353
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,628
Oh, I thought you said
make ourselves at home,
354
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,464
Hollywood.
355
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:01,334
You're right, you're right.
356
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,871
Mi casa, su casa.
357
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,974
Yeah.
Well, in that case...
358
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,441
Oh!
359
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,211
I'm sorry, I think
I broke your remote.
360
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,346
That wasn't
just a remote!
361
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,282
That was a new smart-house,
multi-platform,
362
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,749
touch-screen keypad.
363
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,785
My bad, Hollywood.
364
00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:21,621
But if it was so smart, it
should've moved out of the way.
365
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,558
Move... get out the way!
Get out the way!
366
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:27,995
You know what, that's it!
367
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:29,896
You know what, I'm tired
of y'all thinking I'm different
368
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,531
because of my house.
369
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,733
Yes, it's beautiful.
370
00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:36,003
And, yes, I'm proud of it,
but just like y'all,
371
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,804
I work hard to have what I have.
372
00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:40,440
Now get your Sasquatch feet
off my ottoman!
373
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,275
Hey, uh...
374
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:43,876
I think what my pops
is trying to say is,
375
00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:45,245
please respect his space.
376
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:46,879
I-I'm sorry,
was I not clear?
377
00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:48,648
What I'm saying is...
378
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,217
get the hell out of here!
379
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:52,085
Go! Everybody...
You talking to me?
380
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:54,121
Put the cup down, Ernie,
put the cup down.
381
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,089
You know that,
and don't try to get no salsa,
382
00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:57,924
don't try to take no chips.
Everybody, go.
383
00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:00,727
You know, I got to say,
384
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:03,396
you're starting to feel
like the old Calvin again.
385
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:05,032
Oh, you miss the old Calvin?
386
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,333
Yeah, man.
387
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,334
Well, this is gonna
warm your heart.
388
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,807
So, you see, there's these
things called hormones.
389
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:17,244
And they make you want
to buy expensive stuff.
390
00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:20,180
And you need consent,
but not when it comes
391
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,349
to cleaning your room
or eating broccoli.
392
00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:25,252
Well, you know, it makes
more sense if you sing it.
393
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:27,087
So the song is
basically about...
394
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:29,689
♪ Touching and rubbing ♪
395
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,658
♪ And putting...
Thank you for sharing, Grover.
396
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,893
But I believe
they've heard enough.
397
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,365
What were you thinking?
398
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,567
Every kid on the playground
is singing about sex,
399
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,502
like it's
a fun Taylor Swift song.
400
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:44,571
What do you have
to say for yourself?
401
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,078
Did they really compare
my songwriting to Taylor Swift?
402
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:55,782
Okay, I'm sorry...
403
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:58,418
Ms. Johnson, but can we please
talk about this at home?
404
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,387
No, because I'm not
your wife right now.
405
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,289
I am your son's principal.
406
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,257
Okay, well, in my defense,
407
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,259
how do you explain hormones?
408
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,860
I mean, nobody knows
what those things are.
409
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:10,863
They're our bodies'
chemical messengers.
410
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:14,101
Ooh, that's good, I got
to add that to my sex talk song.
411
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,269
What rhymes with messenger?
412
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,938
Got it. "Sex with her."
413
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:22,509
Dave, Grover needs
414
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,344
real information about sex.
415
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,279
Yeah, I know...
you're right.
416
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,281
I overthought it. I just,
I didn't want it to be
417
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,016
like the sex talk
I had with my dad.
418
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,984
Everything was
a power tool reference.
419
00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:34,687
I still feel dirty
walking around the Home Depot.
420
00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:40,827
Okay, so...
421
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,329
what does this thing do again?
422
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:44,131
It's a convection oven.
423
00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:46,133
It can braise, roast and toast.
424
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:48,735
Isn't that
what a regular oven does?
425
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:51,138
Well, this one convections.
426
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:52,572
Oh.
427
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:54,474
Well, that clears that up.
428
00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:57,844
Oh, hey, Ernie. Come on in.
429
00:17:57,977 --> 00:17:59,146
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
430
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:00,747
Oh, quick, Tina.
431
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,582
Hide the Grey Poupon
432
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,417
before Ernie accuses me of being
433
00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:06,453
a mustard elitist.
434
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:12,392
Actually, that's why I'm here.
435
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:14,227
I want to apologize
436
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:16,729
for all the snide comments
and rude jokes.
437
00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:19,299
You didn't deserve that.
438
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,734
Yeah, man, I mean,
we've always kidded around,
439
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:25,272
giving each other a hard time,
but... this felt different.
440
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:28,441
I'm embarrassed to admit it,
but I was jealous.
441
00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:31,778
I had a bad year at the bar.
I'm two months behind
442
00:18:31,911 --> 00:18:33,646
on rent and I...
443
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,448
might have to shut down.
444
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,318
But-but I still
shouldn't have taken
445
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,353
my frustrations out on you.
446
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,323
I'm sorry.
447
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,325
Wow, man.
448
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,527
I didn't know.
449
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:49,596
Look, apology accepted.
450
00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:51,198
Thanks.
So...
451
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:52,965
why don't you stay
and have some dinner with us.
452
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:55,202
Well, I have good timing.
453
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,703
Can I get you a beer?
454
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,205
Oh, could I get one
of them frosted mugs?
455
00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,806
Oh, you ain't said
nothing but a word.
456
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,208
Ah...
457
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,510
Yeah, yeah,
all right, y'all.
458
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:05,712
Time for me to head home.
459
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,514
Thank you for the hospitality. Okay.
460
00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:10,383
Oh, hey, hey!
Was that chicken convectioned?
461
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:12,519
Why, yes, it was.
462
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:14,120
Thank you for noticing.
463
00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:16,356
I knew it, yeah, yeah.
464
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:17,857
Oh, uh, Ernie,
before you go,
465
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:20,227
um, there's something
that we wanted to give you.
466
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:22,295
What's this?
Look, man,
467
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:25,232
I'm not a rich man,
but I am a blessed one. Yes.
468
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:27,099
And as a small
business owner,
469
00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:29,469
I know how tough times can be.
470
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,871
But even more importantly,
man, you're my boy.
471
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:34,307
So I know you would do
the same for me.
472
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:38,411
Aw...
473
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:39,779
Hey, look...
474
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,648
Thank-thank you,
but I-I can't take this.
475
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:44,384
Oh...
You can and you will.
476
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:47,887
I appreciate it.
477
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:51,057
Yeah, besides, man,
that right there, that's a loan.
478
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,760
Don't think your boy out here
giving away free money.
479
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:56,496
Now, that
is the old Calvin.
480
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,097
Yeah.
481
00:19:58,265 --> 00:19:59,599
Hey, thanks, you two.
482
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:01,334
And I promise I will
repay this loan
483
00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:03,169
when I can.
484
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:04,671
And when you do,
make sure you give me
485
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:06,138
that other $40 you owe me.
486
00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:08,241
:
Yeah!
487
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:14,046
And that's
how things really work.
488
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:16,215
Wow!
489
00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:20,052
So, now that you have
this information,
490
00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:21,488
if you share it
with your friends,
491
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:23,122
just stick to the facts.
492
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,958
Oh, don't worry. I'd never
talk to my friends about this.
493
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,661
Now that I know how
disgusting it is, count me out.
494
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,965
Well, that went well.
495
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,302
I know.
496
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,737
I kind of want to update
my sex talk song now.
497
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,008
Let me know
what you think of this.
498
00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:46,012
♪ She's got it, she's hypnotic ♪
499
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:50,049
♪ But now she's on antibiotics ♪
500
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:53,353
♪ She's got it, she's hyp... ♪
501
00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:55,355
Captioning sponsored by CBS
502
00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:57,524
and TOYOTA.
503
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:02,495
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
35980
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