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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:12,255 --> 00:02:16,555 Middlebury College, 1969, the year of walking on the moon - 2 00:02:16,855 --> 00:02:19,655 - "Yellow Submarine" and Woodstock. 3 00:02:20,055 --> 00:02:24,555 Also the year that Pope Paul the VI eliminated 200 saints. Amen. 4 00:02:24,955 --> 00:02:29,755 And I, along wlth my three best friends, graduated from college. 5 00:02:30,155 --> 00:02:34,155 Where's Cynthia? We've got to get going. I mean, shouldn't we? 6 00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:37,655 Calm down, Annie. She said she had a surprise. 7 00:02:38,055 --> 00:02:40,055 How is this? Is this heaven? 8 00:02:40,355 --> 00:02:45,955 Elise, you are so gorgeous. Really! Oh, my. It's lovely. 9 00:02:46,455 --> 00:02:49,255 - It's solid. - Oh, girls. 10 00:02:49,555 --> 00:02:51,955 - Cynthia. - Here. Open. Put them on. 11 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,955 Oh, my God! 12 00:02:55,255 --> 00:02:59,055 Oh, my God. You shouldn't have done this. 13 00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:02,755 - It's too much. - I don't think so. It's just enough. 14 00:03:03,055 --> 00:03:05,955 You'll all write me nice notes, but now we need a toast. 15 00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:09,355 - Got it. - Pour, pour! It's picture time. 16 00:03:09,655 --> 00:03:12,355 - Champagne! - From my folks. 17 00:03:13,455 --> 00:03:15,855 To Annie, Elise and Brenda. 18 00:03:16,255 --> 00:03:18,555 And Cynthia, I mean our valedictorian. 19 00:03:18,855 --> 00:03:21,955 All right. We're all bound together forever by friendship and love. 20 00:03:22,255 --> 00:03:23,555 And jewelry! 21 00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:27,655 And we're always going to be there for each other. 22 00:03:28,055 --> 00:03:32,555 - Oh, God! I'm gonna cry! - Here! For the rest of our lives. 23 00:03:32,955 --> 00:03:34,955 - One, two, three... - How's my hair? 24 00:03:35,255 --> 00:03:36,555 It's good. 25 00:04:27,355 --> 00:04:28,655 Mrs. Cynthia? 26 00:04:28,955 --> 00:04:30,255 Teresa... 27 00:04:32,155 --> 00:04:34,355 - I want you to have these. - No, no, no. 28 00:04:34,655 --> 00:04:35,955 -Yes, yes, yes. - I cannot take... 29 00:04:36,255 --> 00:04:39,655 - You just think of it as a raise, OK? - Thank you. 30 00:04:39,955 --> 00:04:42,455 Now, you take the rest of the day off. Go on. 31 00:04:42,755 --> 00:04:47,155 - Thank you. - Would you mind mailing these? 32 00:05:39,955 --> 00:05:43,955 Of the four of us, Cynthia was certainly the most likely to succeed. 33 00:05:44,355 --> 00:05:47,155 When she decided to do something - 34 00:05:47,455 --> 00:05:49,955 - she just went ahead and did it. 35 00:05:59,055 --> 00:06:02,655 Roachie. Come on, honey. It's Mommy. Mommy's home. 36 00:06:02,955 --> 00:06:04,555 Gosh, think we got any messages? 37 00:06:04,955 --> 00:06:08,155 - What do you think, huh? - Annie, dear, it's your mother. 38 00:06:08,555 --> 00:06:12,755 It's 6am. Please call me urgently. 39 00:06:13,055 --> 00:06:16,155 Chris!...Honey, I thought you were going to campus yesterday. 40 00:06:16,555 --> 00:06:20,455 My classes were cancelled. I slept here. Where were you?! 41 00:06:20,855 --> 00:06:22,655 I was... I was at a friend's. 42 00:06:22,855 --> 00:06:26,955 You were with that man again. Mother, I am so disappointed. 43 00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:29,355 I'm sorry, but he is your father. 44 00:06:29,755 --> 00:06:32,155 He's using you. You shouldn't let him. 45 00:06:32,455 --> 00:06:38,255 It's not that simple. The truth is I love your father. 46 00:06:38,755 --> 00:06:41,255 - I'm sure he loves me. - You're a doormat! 47 00:06:41,555 --> 00:06:43,955 What's the matter with you? Why are you so crabby today? 48 00:06:44,255 --> 00:06:46,555 Is it school?.. I know what it is. 49 00:06:48,055 --> 00:06:51,855 - It's a boy. - I'm a lesbian, mom. 50 00:06:52,155 --> 00:06:54,755 I'm a lesbian. But that's not the issue here. 51 00:06:55,155 --> 00:06:57,855 - When you say "lesbian"... - Don't tell Daddy. 52 00:06:58,155 --> 00:07:01,455 I want to tell him myself when the time is right. Like Father's Day. 53 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,055 - Or Christmas morning. - Chris... 54 00:07:03,355 --> 00:07:05,655 Thank God, you're all right. 55 00:07:05,955 --> 00:07:07,655 Where were you? Who saw you? 56 00:07:07,955 --> 00:07:10,555 - Who saw me what? - She was sleeping with Daddy. 57 00:07:11,755 --> 00:07:16,455 Muffin, you've come to your senses. I'm so happy. 58 00:07:16,955 --> 00:07:21,855 Mother, I don't sleep with Aaron. He has problems with his partners. 59 00:07:22,255 --> 00:07:25,455 He's very conflicted, and he needed somebody to talk to. 60 00:07:25,755 --> 00:07:27,655 - Doormat! - Lesbian. 61 00:07:32,155 --> 00:07:36,655 Do it, Morris. Do it to me now. I need it. 62 00:07:37,055 --> 00:07:41,055 You're the only one who does it the way I like it. You're the king. 63 00:07:41,455 --> 00:07:45,155 Any more collagen, your lips will look like they were stuck in a pool drain. 64 00:07:45,455 --> 00:07:48,355 I haven't worked in 18 months. 65 00:07:48,855 --> 00:07:52,555 I have a meeting with a director for a part I would kill for. 66 00:07:52,955 --> 00:07:56,455 - I have to look sexy. - Elise, you are sexy! 67 00:07:56,855 --> 00:07:59,955 Look at yourself. You're incredible. You're my masterpiece. 68 00:08:00,255 --> 00:08:03,555 - There's not one line on your face. - Really? What do you call that? 69 00:08:03,955 --> 00:08:07,555 - And these? What are these? - You're 45. 70 00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:11,055 One more facelift, you'll be able to blink your lips. 71 00:08:11,355 --> 00:08:14,255 - Don't you want to play your age? - My own age?! 72 00:08:14,555 --> 00:08:18,855 You don't understand. There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: 73 00:08:19,255 --> 00:08:22,655 Babe, district attorney and "Driving Miss Daisy". 74 00:08:23,055 --> 00:08:27,255 And right now, I want to be young. Science Fiction "young"! 75 00:08:27,655 --> 00:08:32,155 This is good. Maybe you should also cut down on the booze. 76 00:08:36,955 --> 00:08:39,255 I know you're upset about the divorce. 77 00:08:39,755 --> 00:08:41,655 - Upset? - You're upset about Bill's movie. 78 00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:46,155 This isn't about him! This is about my lips! Look at me. 79 00:08:46,455 --> 00:08:49,855 I want Tina Turner. I want Jagger. 80 00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:52,655 Fill 'em up. 81 00:08:54,355 --> 00:08:59,855 Really? This is fabulous news. Thank you. Bye... Jason! 82 00:09:01,155 --> 00:09:03,155 Jason! Honey! 83 00:09:03,955 --> 00:09:07,455 Yoo-hoo! "Burning Sensation" just confirmed. 84 00:09:08,155 --> 00:09:09,455 Jason! 85 00:09:09,755 --> 00:09:11,855 - What? - "Burning Sensation" confirmed. 86 00:09:12,155 --> 00:09:14,155 - I got the band you wanted. - Cool! 87 00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:16,455 Affection! 88 00:09:18,755 --> 00:09:20,255 Gimme that! 89 00:09:23,955 --> 00:09:25,955 - What is this? - Hebrew! 90 00:09:26,255 --> 00:09:29,355 Your Bar Mitzvah's in 3 weeks... the one thing your father will pay for. 91 00:09:29,755 --> 00:09:31,255 - Learn it! - Mom! 92 00:09:31,555 --> 00:09:34,855 Don't "but, Mom" me! Learn it. Don't shame me in the synagogue. 93 00:09:37,455 --> 00:09:40,355 The separation from Aaron is absurd. 94 00:09:40,755 --> 00:09:42,855 How will you fix things if you're not together? 95 00:09:43,155 --> 00:09:46,855 We're practically together. We're seeing the same therapist. 96 00:09:47,155 --> 00:09:50,455 - What? - Her name is Dr. Leslie Rosen. 97 00:09:50,855 --> 00:09:55,555 She's incredible. She helps Aaron with commitment issues. 98 00:09:55,955 --> 00:09:58,355 We're working on my self-esteem. 99 00:09:58,655 --> 00:10:03,155 You're married with a daughter. You're happy. Who needs self-esteem! 100 00:10:03,555 --> 00:10:06,055 Mother! 101 00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:08,955 Dr. Rosen says that... 102 00:10:10,455 --> 00:10:12,155 She says you're very controlling. 103 00:10:12,455 --> 00:10:14,555 Me? Controlling? 104 00:10:14,855 --> 00:10:16,655 That is ridiculous. 105 00:10:16,855 --> 00:10:19,155 - Mother, I... - Roach... 106 00:10:19,555 --> 00:10:21,555 Go! 107 00:10:23,055 --> 00:10:26,255 What if I found somebody else, mother? It's possible. 108 00:10:26,755 --> 00:10:32,955 You're 46. You're more likely to be slaughtered by a psycho. 109 00:10:33,355 --> 00:10:36,955 Cynthia Swann Griffin is dead. The former wife of Wall Street wizard... 110 00:10:37,355 --> 00:10:39,755 Didn't you go to school with her? 111 00:10:40,055 --> 00:10:41,755 ...jumped from her fashionable penthouse apartment. 112 00:10:42,155 --> 00:10:44,755 Mrs. Griffin had recently divorced her longtime husband - 113 00:10:45,055 --> 00:10:49,255 - Gilbert Griffin. The Wall Street baron remarried only yesterday. 114 00:10:57,155 --> 00:11:00,155 - Morning, Mohammed. - Morning, Miss Eliot. 115 00:11:26,355 --> 00:11:27,955 Elise! 116 00:11:30,355 --> 00:11:32,655 - Oh, God. What a tragedy! - Poor Cynthia. 117 00:11:32,955 --> 00:11:34,755 And your lips! 118 00:11:36,755 --> 00:11:40,055 Elise arrived with Gunilla Garson-Goldberg. 119 00:11:40,455 --> 00:11:43,955 The queen of New York society. Nobody gets anywhere - 120 00:11:44,255 --> 00:11:46,255 - in this town without Gunilla's say-so. 121 00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,655 Hey, Elise! 122 00:12:04,455 --> 00:12:07,855 She looks wonderful. Has she had any work done? 123 00:12:08,155 --> 00:12:09,555 Honey, she's a quilt. 124 00:12:13,455 --> 00:12:17,155 Then came Cynthia's former husband Gilbert Griffin. 125 00:12:17,555 --> 00:12:20,555 A man made rich by his first wife's connections and now - 126 00:12:20,855 --> 00:12:24,255 - made happy by his second wife's youthful good looks. 127 00:12:26,655 --> 00:12:29,655 The vampire Lestat. And Louis. 128 00:12:40,555 --> 00:12:44,255 What a nerve! He should be hanging his head. 129 00:12:44,655 --> 00:12:46,955 You don't know what he feels right now. 130 00:13:02,055 --> 00:13:03,755 I knew you would be here. 131 00:13:04,155 --> 00:13:05,355 Alice! 132 00:13:05,655 --> 00:13:07,955 - No, Annie. - Annie! 133 00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:12,455 It's so wonderful to see you. You're wearing our pearls. 134 00:13:12,855 --> 00:13:14,455 Yeah. 135 00:13:14,855 --> 00:13:17,655 - Hi. It's Brenda. Brenda Morang. - Brenda! 136 00:13:17,955 --> 00:13:19,955 Annie. Remember me! 137 00:13:22,655 --> 00:13:25,255 - You look wonderful. - You do too. You look just... 138 00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:27,755 - ...uncanny. - Thank you. 139 00:13:29,155 --> 00:13:31,755 Dear, sweet, funny, yearning Brenda. 140 00:13:35,755 --> 00:13:36,955 What? 141 00:13:40,955 --> 00:13:43,955 - She's such a bitch. - I hate that guy. 142 00:13:44,355 --> 00:13:49,555 This might sound horrible after that but I would really... 143 00:13:50,655 --> 00:13:51,955 - I'd love to... - Lunch? 144 00:13:52,355 --> 00:13:54,855 No, you're right. It's not right. 145 00:13:55,255 --> 00:13:57,355 Why? We gotta eat. I have a car. 146 00:13:57,755 --> 00:13:59,555 - A limo. - Yeah. 147 00:14:02,555 --> 00:14:04,855 It is so wonderful seeing you all. 148 00:14:07,155 --> 00:14:08,455 - Elise. - What? 149 00:14:08,755 --> 00:14:12,055 You have not changed a bit in 20 years. 150 00:14:12,355 --> 00:14:15,655 Not one little bit. 151 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,055 It's utterly bizarre. 152 00:14:18,355 --> 00:14:19,755 - Brenda! - Excuse me. I'm sorry. 153 00:14:20,055 --> 00:14:21,555 Ladies, would anyone like a drink? 154 00:14:21,855 --> 00:14:25,355 - Yes, I would like a Virgin Mary. - Bloody Mary. 155 00:14:25,755 --> 00:14:28,155 - Vodka rocks, please. - Now, I just want to... 156 00:14:28,455 --> 00:14:32,755 ...get this out of the way. I'm the most terrible person. 157 00:14:33,155 --> 00:14:37,255 I tried to stay in touch. I should have written every month. 158 00:14:37,655 --> 00:14:40,455 Annie you had a life to lead. 159 00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:44,555 It must have been time-consuming, churning out those newsletters. 160 00:14:45,755 --> 00:14:47,655 It's a terrible excuse for a reunion - 161 00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:51,755 - but here we all are. How are you guys, huh? 162 00:14:52,055 --> 00:14:54,155 Just fine. Couldn't be better. 163 00:14:54,455 --> 00:14:57,555 - Things are rolling along for me. - Same here. Knock wood. 164 00:14:57,955 --> 00:14:59,755 Knock wood. 165 00:15:00,055 --> 00:15:02,655 - It's great to see you guys again. - Cheers. 166 00:15:04,255 --> 00:15:07,955 Why'd she do it? I don't understand. Could I have helped her? 167 00:15:08,355 --> 00:15:11,355 What would make her want to? 168 00:15:11,855 --> 00:15:16,855 She gave Gil the best years of her life. Sacrificed her youth... 169 00:15:17,255 --> 00:15:22,155 Always put herself last to bolster his ego, his drive, his ambition. 170 00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:29,155 Just as her dignity hung by a thread, he ran off with a pre-schooler. 171 00:15:31,955 --> 00:15:34,355 - I'm guessing. - Elise... 172 00:15:34,655 --> 00:15:36,455 You too? 173 00:15:37,755 --> 00:15:39,155 You...Brenda? 174 00:15:39,455 --> 00:15:41,855 - Brenda? - Morty was a big shot on TV. 175 00:15:42,255 --> 00:15:46,255 He sold electronics. On our 20th wedding anniversary, it hits... 176 00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:51,755 ...mid-life crisis...Major! He starts working out, grows a mustache. 177 00:15:52,155 --> 00:15:55,655 He gets an earring. I said: "Morty, what are you...a pirate?" 178 00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:57,355 "What's next? A parrot?" 179 00:15:57,555 --> 00:16:02,755 Suddenly, I'm a drag. I'm holding him back because I won't rollerblade. 180 00:16:04,455 --> 00:16:06,155 - What's her name? - Shelly. 181 00:16:06,455 --> 00:16:10,755 Shelly the barracuda. She's 12. 182 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,855 Bren... Elise. 183 00:16:16,155 --> 00:16:19,355 I am so sorry about both of your marriages. 184 00:16:19,655 --> 00:16:23,455 I wish I could have helped or been there in some way. 185 00:16:23,855 --> 00:16:28,255 - What about your marriage? - Everything's just fine. 186 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:31,255 Aaron is so terrific... 187 00:16:31,655 --> 00:16:35,555 Now, let's think...we've been married for 25 years... 188 00:16:37,355 --> 00:16:42,155 Chris is perfect. I mean, lesbians are great...nowadays! 189 00:16:42,555 --> 00:16:46,555 The marriage is going... It's going to be really fine. 190 00:16:46,955 --> 00:16:49,855 Aaron and I...we're... 191 00:16:50,155 --> 00:16:54,755 ..temporarily sort of... We're separated! 192 00:16:56,755 --> 00:16:59,355 - Separated. - Separated? 193 00:17:00,255 --> 00:17:01,955 Separated. 194 00:17:16,355 --> 00:17:19,155 OK, Elise, the time has come... 195 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:22,255 Spill! Those lips...what's in 'em? 196 00:17:22,555 --> 00:17:25,555 - Are they wax? - Excuse me? 197 00:17:25,955 --> 00:17:28,355 What else did you have done? You can tell me. 198 00:17:28,655 --> 00:17:33,255 The cheeks, the jawline... Have just a little or the full enchilada? 199 00:17:33,655 --> 00:17:37,155 I work out daily, watch my diet. 200 00:17:37,455 --> 00:17:40,455 - I haven't had plastic surgery! - Good for you! 201 00:17:40,855 --> 00:17:42,555 - You look terrific. - Come on! 202 00:17:42,855 --> 00:17:45,855 You're lying through your caps! 203 00:17:46,155 --> 00:17:49,355 OK, I have been refreshed a little. 204 00:17:49,655 --> 00:17:52,655 - Oh, God, does it hurt? - No. 205 00:17:53,055 --> 00:17:55,855 The stuff they take off... Can you keep it? 206 00:17:56,155 --> 00:17:58,355 Come on, it's the 90s. 207 00:17:58,655 --> 00:18:04,355 Plastic surgery is like good grooming. It's like brushing your teeth. 208 00:18:04,955 --> 00:18:11,455 Elise, you've been yanked, stitched, stuffed and pulled. You're a turkey. 209 00:18:12,355 --> 00:18:14,855 - And to please your ex-husband? - No... 210 00:18:15,155 --> 00:18:19,555 ...to please everybody. To please everybody! 211 00:18:19,955 --> 00:18:25,255 Men, women, studio executives. Come on, youth and beauty. 212 00:18:25,755 --> 00:18:27,455 Men, that's the ticket! 213 00:18:27,855 --> 00:18:31,755 When men... No, when women get to be a certain age... 214 00:18:32,255 --> 00:18:36,355 - ...bye, bye love. Hello, poptarts. - That's right, baby. 215 00:18:36,855 --> 00:18:38,955 It's a holocaust. 216 00:18:39,955 --> 00:18:44,455 God, I wish I had the courage to give it all up. To say... 217 00:18:44,855 --> 00:18:51,055 ...who gives a rat's ass. Just let myself go like you two did. 218 00:18:51,855 --> 00:18:53,755 No offense. 219 00:18:54,155 --> 00:18:57,455 - None taken. - Speak for yourself, OK! 220 00:18:57,755 --> 00:19:01,455 Elise, you're gifted, talented and successful. 221 00:19:01,855 --> 00:19:04,755 Brenda, you're wonderfully verbal. 222 00:19:05,055 --> 00:19:08,555 And I am seeing a very talented therapist. 223 00:19:08,955 --> 00:19:15,055 We're in our prime! By the way, my marriage is fine, thank you. 224 00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:20,855 Annie, you have an amazing attitude. 225 00:19:21,255 --> 00:19:25,555 You are...so cheerful. 226 00:19:26,655 --> 00:19:29,055 - You are... - Look at me. 227 00:19:29,355 --> 00:19:31,355 You are genuinely happy. 228 00:19:31,655 --> 00:19:34,955 - It's a beautiful thing. - Thank you. 229 00:19:38,055 --> 00:19:39,855 Lithium? 230 00:19:44,055 --> 00:19:49,255 You'd have been proud of me, Leslie. I was the only positive one there. 231 00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:55,555 There were traces of the wonderful, witty women I knew before - 232 00:19:55,955 --> 00:20:03,155 - but they're just so angry.They're so confused. When we were young... 233 00:20:03,655 --> 00:20:06,055 - ...we had such spirit. - Say it, honey. 234 00:20:06,355 --> 00:20:11,655 - Work from love. - OK, work from love. 235 00:20:12,155 --> 00:20:15,655 - Grow from love. - Grow from love. 236 00:20:15,955 --> 00:20:17,355 Screw the world. 237 00:20:17,655 --> 00:20:22,555 - I can't say that. I'm sorry. - Annie, you are still doing it. 238 00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:25,155 - I know. - You have a problem with anger. 239 00:20:25,455 --> 00:20:26,755 You're absolutely right. 240 00:20:27,055 --> 00:20:30,155 It's my... I don't know what it is! It's my mother. It's Connecticut. 241 00:20:30,455 --> 00:20:32,755 - It's all these loud noises. - And Aaron. 242 00:20:33,055 --> 00:20:37,055 I know we're separated. But I think this is really a rest period. 243 00:20:37,455 --> 00:20:38,855 We're just getting our... 244 00:20:40,055 --> 00:20:43,955 - Do it, Annie! Get angry. - I couldn't. I know that I should... 245 00:20:44,355 --> 00:20:45,555 - It's just... - Hit me. 246 00:20:45,955 --> 00:20:47,455 Stand up and hit me. 247 00:20:47,655 --> 00:20:52,855 I can't. I'm so sorry. Maybe... 248 00:20:53,455 --> 00:20:57,755 Let it out. I want you to hit me. Trust me. It's OK. 249 00:20:59,255 --> 00:21:00,555 OK. 250 00:21:04,255 --> 00:21:05,955 Rambo! 251 00:21:06,255 --> 00:21:09,955 A real tough guy. Come on, Annie... 252 00:21:10,355 --> 00:21:13,755 - Hit me! - I love that. 253 00:21:17,155 --> 00:21:19,855 - My God. - That was better. 254 00:21:20,155 --> 00:21:24,455 - I'm sorry. Please don't tell Aaron. - Time's up. 255 00:21:24,955 --> 00:21:26,455 - Time to go. Do you feel better? - Thank you. 256 00:21:30,955 --> 00:21:35,055 He hasn't the guts to tell me he wants a divorce. I have to hear it on TV. 257 00:21:35,455 --> 00:21:37,855 - Elise, be cool. Be calm. - I am! 258 00:21:38,155 --> 00:21:41,055 - I saw that show. It was interesting. - I don't want to hear it. 259 00:21:41,355 --> 00:21:45,655 My client's and Miss Eliot's marriage resulted in many successful films - 260 00:21:46,155 --> 00:21:49,255 - including "Inner Urges", "Human lnstinct" - 261 00:21:49,655 --> 00:21:55,455 - and "Animal Nature" in which she played a sensuous veterinarian. 262 00:21:55,855 --> 00:21:57,355 - Thank you. - My idea! 263 00:21:57,655 --> 00:21:59,555 - Was not. - Was too. 264 00:21:59,855 --> 00:22:03,055 My client produced these films which enhanced Miss Eliot's career. 265 00:22:03,555 --> 00:22:06,655 - Therefore, she is indebted to him. - I produced these films! 266 00:22:07,055 --> 00:22:08,955 You knew nothing when I met you. 267 00:22:09,355 --> 00:22:12,155 I taught you everything! What? 268 00:22:12,455 --> 00:22:14,455 Those were your best years, Elise. 269 00:22:14,755 --> 00:22:20,555 Therefore, we request half of Miss Eliot's assets and a monthly stipend. 270 00:22:21,055 --> 00:22:22,455 He wants alimony? 271 00:22:22,655 --> 00:22:26,655 As for the sculpture, art, Japanese porcelain and objets d'art- 272 00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:30,355 - collected during the marriage, my client thinks it fair for Miss Eliot - 273 00:22:30,855 --> 00:22:34,255 - to dispose of the items and divide the proceeds evenly. 274 00:22:34,555 --> 00:22:36,155 They were anniversary presents - 275 00:22:36,455 --> 00:22:38,555 - Xmas presents. I gave him everything. Now he wants more?! 276 00:22:43,155 --> 00:22:49,255 Now, Duarto, I ask you: who's this for? An anorexic teen? A fetus? 277 00:22:49,855 --> 00:22:53,455 It's a conspiracy. I know it is. I've had enough. I'm leading a protest. 278 00:22:53,755 --> 00:22:58,355 I'm not buying any more clothes until designers come to their senses. 279 00:22:58,755 --> 00:23:01,855 Brenda worked for a man named Duarto Feliz - 280 00:23:02,255 --> 00:23:05,955 - one of the ten worst interior decorators in New York. 281 00:23:06,255 --> 00:23:09,455 I think his real name was Duane Hemelwitz. 282 00:23:09,855 --> 00:23:12,955 - It's electric. Look at this hideous... - I can't afford it. 283 00:23:13,355 --> 00:23:17,555 You've got to have it. Try it on. You could sell a broach, your son... 284 00:23:17,955 --> 00:23:19,755 Duarto... 285 00:23:20,455 --> 00:23:25,355 - Morty! Look at you. - Brenda, don't embarrass me. 286 00:23:25,755 --> 00:23:28,555 Don't embarrass me. Don't make a scene. 287 00:23:29,055 --> 00:23:32,255 You've got nerve. Know what's embarrassing? 288 00:23:32,555 --> 00:23:36,255 Being hassled by Mr. Zaworsky because I'm behind in the rent. 289 00:23:36,755 --> 00:23:40,855 That's embarrassing. Worrying about how to pay for my kid's college. 290 00:23:41,355 --> 00:23:44,855 You know what? You never listened. 20 years and you never listened. 291 00:23:45,255 --> 00:23:48,455 Here! Try this on in the fitting room. It looks very nice. 292 00:23:48,855 --> 00:23:51,555 I could use this. It's very beautiful. I love the color... 293 00:23:51,955 --> 00:23:54,255 But what can I use for money? How am I gonna pay for it? 294 00:23:54,555 --> 00:23:59,455 The company is expanding. Not me! I'm a mere laborer. 295 00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:03,555 - You're a liar and a fraud. - I have no money. I'm not rich. 296 00:24:04,055 --> 00:24:05,655 - Why don't you look in your purse? - Very funny. 297 00:24:05,955 --> 00:24:09,155 - They're stunning, Morton. I want 'em. - Morton? 298 00:24:10,555 --> 00:24:13,855 - Oh, God, make it go away. - Shelly, look at you. 299 00:24:14,255 --> 00:24:18,155 - The bulimia has paid off. - Don't start. 300 00:24:18,555 --> 00:24:21,755 What's the matter, Morty? Can't you buy her a whole dress? 301 00:24:22,055 --> 00:24:25,455 Why don't you try these on in your size? 302 00:24:29,755 --> 00:24:33,455 - It was a delight running into you. - You've read the script. 303 00:24:35,655 --> 00:24:40,055 Yes, it is so original. It's so good. 304 00:24:40,555 --> 00:24:43,355 You're so gifted, Brett. 305 00:24:45,955 --> 00:24:48,955 And Monique... "Monique"... 306 00:24:51,355 --> 00:24:53,855 She is a great character. 307 00:24:54,555 --> 00:24:57,755 Thank you. Man, what a kick! 308 00:24:59,155 --> 00:25:01,555 Elise Eliot in a Brett Artounian film. 309 00:25:03,455 --> 00:25:05,355 So, tell me how do you see her? 310 00:25:06,755 --> 00:25:09,755 Well, uh, I think we go for... 311 00:25:10,055 --> 00:25:12,855 - ...grotesque. - What? 312 00:25:13,255 --> 00:25:17,655 All the way. No make-up, overhead lighting. Bring out every wrinkle... 313 00:25:18,055 --> 00:25:20,755 Every crag. With you in the part - 314 00:25:21,255 --> 00:25:24,755 - Monique's mother won't be another Jurassic fleshbag in a wheelchair. 315 00:25:25,055 --> 00:25:27,055 She's epic. 316 00:25:28,555 --> 00:25:32,455 Elise Eliot, the crypt-keeper. Wow! 317 00:25:59,455 --> 00:26:02,355 Mom, I'm spending the night at Dad's. Don't worry, I'm studying. 318 00:26:02,755 --> 00:26:05,455 Baruch atta adonoy... Happy now? 319 00:26:17,355 --> 00:26:18,755 Maurice? 320 00:26:20,855 --> 00:26:24,755 I want another one. They want me to play the mother. 321 00:26:25,955 --> 00:26:28,655 - Sorry. - The mother! 322 00:26:29,055 --> 00:26:30,655 Let me ask you something. 323 00:26:32,055 --> 00:26:35,055 - Is this the face of a mother? - No, ma'am. 324 00:26:35,455 --> 00:26:37,655 Certainly not mine. 325 00:26:42,855 --> 00:26:44,455 So I thought. 326 00:26:45,355 --> 00:26:48,355 Not to be critical, but you've no feeling for noodles. 327 00:26:48,755 --> 00:26:50,555 Thank you, Mom. 328 00:26:55,255 --> 00:26:56,755 Hello. 329 00:26:57,055 --> 00:27:02,655 Aaron... Nothing... Just having pasta with mother. 330 00:27:03,155 --> 00:27:04,955 No, you say... Sure! 331 00:27:05,155 --> 00:27:07,755 That would be good. Bye. 332 00:27:09,055 --> 00:27:13,355 We're going to have dinner! Can you believe that? Oh my God! 333 00:27:13,855 --> 00:27:17,355 Do you know what this means? It means he's re-prioritized. 334 00:27:17,755 --> 00:27:19,955 He's worked through his relationship phobias - 335 00:27:20,255 --> 00:27:24,355 - his fear of intimacy, his thing about my poisoning his food. 336 00:27:24,655 --> 00:27:26,355 He's ready to recommit. 337 00:27:29,255 --> 00:27:31,255 - Here we go. - Thank you. 338 00:27:32,455 --> 00:27:34,555 Excuse me, so sorry. 339 00:27:44,055 --> 00:27:46,755 Una? By yourself? 340 00:27:48,155 --> 00:27:49,355 Si. 341 00:28:22,855 --> 00:28:25,755 - How are you? - Hello. Allow me. 342 00:28:52,655 --> 00:28:58,955 I'm not Monique's mother. Angela Lansbury's Monique's mother. 343 00:28:59,355 --> 00:29:02,755 - Shelley Winters is Unique's mother. - Now, that's good. 344 00:29:03,155 --> 00:29:08,655 - Sean Connery's Unique's mother. - Perhaps some coffee now. 345 00:29:09,155 --> 00:29:14,855 I take that back. Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend. 346 00:29:15,355 --> 00:29:19,555 He's 300 years old, but he's still a stud. 347 00:29:24,855 --> 00:29:29,955 - I'm not happy, Maurice. - I'm going to get you that coffee. 348 00:29:40,155 --> 00:29:44,555 - Honey... I think I should go. - I know. 349 00:29:44,955 --> 00:29:51,755 Tomorrow, we could start moving your things back in...if that's okay? 350 00:29:52,255 --> 00:29:56,455 I hated seeing your side of the closet all empty. 351 00:29:58,155 --> 00:30:03,955 Dr. Rosen...she would be proud of us. I wish she were here. 352 00:30:04,455 --> 00:30:10,455 Not literally. I can't wait to tell her how we worked it all out. 353 00:30:10,955 --> 00:30:14,555 We should get therapy gold stars. 354 00:30:14,855 --> 00:30:16,055 Annie... 355 00:30:18,455 --> 00:30:20,155 I love you. 356 00:30:26,855 --> 00:30:28,455 Come here. 357 00:30:31,855 --> 00:30:33,255 Yes. 358 00:30:39,455 --> 00:30:41,855 I love you. 359 00:30:44,955 --> 00:30:47,055 I want a divorce. 360 00:30:52,055 --> 00:30:54,355 - Stay calm. - But we just made love! 361 00:30:54,655 --> 00:30:57,255 You asked me out. 362 00:30:57,655 --> 00:31:00,155 I asked you out to tell you, but you looked so great. 363 00:31:00,455 --> 00:31:02,955 I thought: "How romantic. One last time." 364 00:31:03,255 --> 00:31:07,355 - A goodbye kiss. - But this wasn't just a kiss. 365 00:31:07,755 --> 00:31:10,655 Don't be childish. You know how you manipulate me. 366 00:31:10,955 --> 00:31:13,455 - What?! Manipulate? - Don't. 367 00:31:13,755 --> 00:31:16,255 What?.. Oh my God. 368 00:31:17,055 --> 00:31:20,555 - Is there someone else? - No. This is about us. 369 00:31:20,955 --> 00:31:22,255 It's really not you. 370 00:31:23,055 --> 00:31:24,455 Babe? 371 00:31:25,655 --> 00:31:26,955 Oh my God! 372 00:31:27,255 --> 00:31:29,855 - Oh my God! - Oh my God. 373 00:31:30,155 --> 00:31:32,755 - This is very awkward. - No, Annie was just leaving. 374 00:31:33,055 --> 00:31:35,355 - You told her? - I was totally upfront. 375 00:31:35,655 --> 00:31:37,655 What? Excuse me! 376 00:31:37,955 --> 00:31:40,155 Annie, this is rough. I know that. 377 00:31:40,455 --> 00:31:43,555 Rough?! Wait a minute. I don't understand. You're my therapist? 378 00:31:43,955 --> 00:31:47,455 - I'm a woman. - He is my husband. 379 00:31:47,755 --> 00:31:52,255 We've been separated for months. Let's not overdramatize, OK? 380 00:31:52,655 --> 00:31:55,855 She's allowed to be angry. - Annie, let's use this. 381 00:31:56,255 --> 00:31:58,855 He's found someone new. You're free! Closure! 382 00:31:59,155 --> 00:32:03,255 I'm sorry, but that isn't what this is. 383 00:32:03,655 --> 00:32:06,655 You're not helping us out here. 384 00:32:06,955 --> 00:32:09,455 - Now, I'm sorry. - So am I! 385 00:32:09,755 --> 00:32:16,155 Very sorry I ever met you! Sorry I loved you for all those years! 386 00:32:16,655 --> 00:32:19,955 I'm sorry I was there for you every minute - 387 00:32:20,355 --> 00:32:24,155 - of every day and supported you in your every move. 388 00:32:25,655 --> 00:32:27,755 I'm sorry! 389 00:33:20,555 --> 00:33:21,955 Oh, my God. 390 00:33:38,955 --> 00:33:42,955 "I wish I had talent like Elise"- 391 00:33:43,455 --> 00:33:45,555 - "Brenda's humor" - 392 00:33:47,755 --> 00:33:50,355 - "or your strength, Annie." 393 00:33:51,355 --> 00:33:55,255 "Most of all I wish I still had our friendship." 394 00:33:55,655 --> 00:34:00,155 "Perhaps Gil isn't the problem." Oh, God... 395 00:34:00,555 --> 00:34:03,455 "Perhaps loneliness is." 396 00:34:07,155 --> 00:34:10,455 "Please take care of each other. Love, Cynthia." 397 00:34:14,655 --> 00:34:20,255 - And on such pretty stationery. - I have to make some calls, Mom. 398 00:34:25,955 --> 00:34:30,455 - God, poor Cynthia. - If only she had called me. 399 00:34:30,855 --> 00:34:32,055 If only I were listed. 400 00:34:32,355 --> 00:34:35,555 You know what? She was right. In college we were focused. 401 00:34:35,955 --> 00:34:37,855 We were brave. We couldn't wait. 402 00:34:38,155 --> 00:34:41,555 It's all over. I'm alone. I don't have anything. 403 00:34:42,055 --> 00:34:43,555 I don't have anything! 404 00:34:43,855 --> 00:34:49,455 You have a son who adores you. I'm alone! I'm Monique's mother. 405 00:34:49,955 --> 00:34:53,355 But Jason's off to college pretty soon. I'll be even more alone. 406 00:34:53,755 --> 00:34:55,655 Plus I'll be a lot older. 407 00:34:55,955 --> 00:34:58,755 Any more plastic surgery, I won't be able to sleep. 408 00:34:59,055 --> 00:35:00,455 I'll have to work at McDonalds! 409 00:35:00,855 --> 00:35:04,355 -I'll have to do ads for adult diapers. - I'll have to wear them. 410 00:35:05,155 --> 00:35:06,455 I just spent 25 years - 411 00:35:06,755 --> 00:35:12,055 - with a self-absorbed man who is marrying my therapist... 412 00:35:12,455 --> 00:35:16,055 - ...who lectured me on self-esteem. - You win! 413 00:35:16,455 --> 00:35:19,455 I won't be that woman anymore. It's unacceptable. 414 00:35:19,755 --> 00:35:23,455 It is unacceptable! I made all those stupid movies with Bill. 415 00:35:23,855 --> 00:35:26,255 I gave him a career and he stole mine. 416 00:35:26,555 --> 00:35:29,955 I worked behind the cash register at his first store...in his first 15 stores! 417 00:35:30,355 --> 00:35:33,055 I gave Aaron a home and a daughter. 418 00:35:33,355 --> 00:35:36,555 - I washed and ironed his shorts. - You did? 419 00:35:36,855 --> 00:35:38,955 Well, I supervised. 420 00:35:39,255 --> 00:35:42,355 What do we want? Revenge? 421 00:35:42,755 --> 00:35:46,155 No! We are not talking about revenge. I am talking about justice. 422 00:35:46,455 --> 00:35:48,855 I'm going to give Aaron so much justice he won't see straight... 423 00:35:49,255 --> 00:35:51,955 - ...if he thinks partners are trouble. - Bill's always had it easy. 424 00:35:52,255 --> 00:35:55,455 That's right. Bill's had it easy every inch of the way. 425 00:35:55,855 --> 00:35:57,455 He's always had a woman look after him. 426 00:35:57,755 --> 00:35:59,855 What would happen one day if he didn't? 427 00:36:00,155 --> 00:36:02,655 What do you think, Brenda? 428 00:36:02,955 --> 00:36:05,855 I love Morty. Very deeply. 429 00:36:06,255 --> 00:36:09,855 - I wouldn't want to see him harmed. - You don't? 430 00:36:10,255 --> 00:36:13,655 I want him dumped! By Little Miss Midriff. 431 00:36:14,055 --> 00:36:16,355 By that Stairmastered L'Orealed crotch jockey. 432 00:36:16,655 --> 00:36:17,955 In front of the whole Western Hemisphere. 433 00:36:18,155 --> 00:36:24,655 On the 6 o'clock news. Okay! After that I want world peace. 434 00:36:25,155 --> 00:36:28,555 Let's get serious. We helped them rise. We can help them fall. 435 00:36:28,955 --> 00:36:31,155 How are we going to do that. 436 00:36:31,455 --> 00:36:34,655 We're has-beens, hanging on by a thread. We're discards. 437 00:36:35,055 --> 00:36:39,555 We're not hanging on by a thread. Look, by being together - us - unity. 438 00:36:40,055 --> 00:36:42,555 If all the first wives of the world got together... 439 00:36:42,955 --> 00:36:45,655 - ...what else do we need? - Just one amazing attorney. 440 00:36:45,955 --> 00:36:49,055 All we need is us. Three women who aren't afraid to fight. 441 00:36:49,355 --> 00:36:55,355 Stand up for dignity and self-esteem! Then we'll let 'em have it. 442 00:36:57,555 --> 00:36:58,855 - See this? - What? 443 00:36:59,055 --> 00:37:00,855 - Wait, right here, OK? - OK. 444 00:37:01,155 --> 00:37:03,755 See this? Put it in there. 445 00:37:07,455 --> 00:37:10,655 All right. First Wives Club, come to order. 446 00:37:10,955 --> 00:37:12,655 Starting the club was easy. 447 00:37:13,055 --> 00:37:15,955 Figuring out what to do next was much harder. 448 00:37:16,255 --> 00:37:19,555 We each decided to gather information about our husbands. 449 00:37:19,955 --> 00:37:23,155 - Elise, Elise... - Yeah... 450 00:37:23,455 --> 00:37:24,355 I went in search of a spy. 451 00:37:26,355 --> 00:37:29,755 Why can't we call Chris and ask her to help us? 452 00:37:30,155 --> 00:37:33,855 I want her to know I support her lifestyle completely. 453 00:37:34,355 --> 00:37:37,855 - I've never been to a gay bar! - Here we go. 454 00:37:38,155 --> 00:37:40,955 Hi, I think you're just terrific. 455 00:37:48,655 --> 00:37:53,355 Look at this. My God! Isn't this great? All these women. 456 00:37:53,755 --> 00:37:55,155 Yeah, maybe we'll get lucky. 457 00:37:55,355 --> 00:37:59,155 Elise Eliot, right? You're from the movies. 458 00:37:59,555 --> 00:38:01,555 - Yeah... - I knew you were gay! 459 00:38:01,855 --> 00:38:06,155 I said Elise Eliot is so hot! You're like the most - 460 00:38:06,655 --> 00:38:08,655 - amazing babe on this planet. 461 00:38:08,955 --> 00:38:11,955 God bless you! 462 00:38:12,255 --> 00:38:15,955 - You wanna dance? - Uh, yeah. 463 00:38:18,355 --> 00:38:19,655 Hi, Sweetie. 464 00:38:19,955 --> 00:38:23,455 Mom! Hi... 465 00:38:23,855 --> 00:38:25,955 We wanted to have a little... 466 00:38:26,255 --> 00:38:27,655 What's the matter? 467 00:38:27,955 --> 00:38:30,955 I thought we could have a little chat about our plans. 468 00:38:31,255 --> 00:38:32,555 Mom... 469 00:38:32,955 --> 00:38:35,855 - You know you're in a gay bar. - That's what's so great. 470 00:38:36,155 --> 00:38:40,055 It's very women-identified and... by the way... 471 00:38:40,455 --> 00:38:43,055 I'm Chris' Mom. 472 00:38:43,355 --> 00:38:45,255 Are you gay? 473 00:38:45,655 --> 00:38:47,055 Sorry! 474 00:38:53,355 --> 00:38:55,055 What's wrong? 475 00:38:55,855 --> 00:39:01,355 My lover left mer after 18 years for some teenager who weighs 12 lb. 476 00:39:01,855 --> 00:39:03,255 What am I going to do? 477 00:39:03,455 --> 00:39:07,355 - God! That's just like me and Morty. - Who? 478 00:39:07,755 --> 00:39:09,855 Morty. 479 00:39:10,855 --> 00:39:12,955 She's butch. 480 00:39:14,255 --> 00:39:16,755 Nail Daddy and those other low-lifes? 481 00:39:17,055 --> 00:39:21,055 I don't mean "nail 'em". I mean, just teach and help them. 482 00:39:21,555 --> 00:39:24,055 - Vaporize them! - Yeah, sure. 483 00:39:24,355 --> 00:39:26,555 Yes! Yes! Yes! 484 00:39:26,855 --> 00:39:29,455 I'm in. I'm really in. 485 00:39:39,055 --> 00:39:41,255 Elise... 486 00:39:41,555 --> 00:39:44,455 Elise, Chris is in! 487 00:39:44,755 --> 00:39:47,555 Can you believe it? Mission accomplished. We'd better go. 488 00:39:48,055 --> 00:39:49,255 She's staying! 489 00:39:49,455 --> 00:39:52,455 She's with me, babe! Come on, honey, my place. 490 00:39:55,555 --> 00:39:57,955 Brenda, you're so possessive! 491 00:39:59,455 --> 00:40:02,655 Something I was just thinking about...my resume. 492 00:40:03,055 --> 00:40:09,055 Wouldn't interfere with school. Something part-time until I graduate. 493 00:40:09,455 --> 00:40:12,355 Come on, Dad. How about a little nepotism? 494 00:40:12,755 --> 00:40:14,055 I'll hire you. 495 00:40:14,255 --> 00:40:19,955 I'm surprised. You've never shown interest in advertising. 496 00:40:20,555 --> 00:40:23,355 I know, Daddy. I'm here to learn. 497 00:40:24,955 --> 00:40:26,655 That's great. 498 00:40:31,855 --> 00:40:36,055 Elise decided to pull the rug out from under Bill...literally. 499 00:40:36,355 --> 00:40:39,855 After all, his lawyer told her to dispose of their common property. 500 00:40:40,255 --> 00:40:42,255 Miss Eliot, you know he hates interruptions. 501 00:40:42,555 --> 00:40:45,655 Please let me tell him you're here. Please... 502 00:40:48,755 --> 00:40:50,955 Elise...what a kick! But I'm on with the Coast. 503 00:40:51,255 --> 00:40:54,455 All the good stuff goes. The Lampico, the Ming vase. 504 00:40:54,755 --> 00:40:59,955 Amari horsemen, Faberg� eggs, the Wingback chair, the green Tiffany lamp. 505 00:41:00,355 --> 00:41:02,355 Babe...what's going on? 506 00:41:02,655 --> 00:41:06,855 As requested, I'm consolidating the matrimonial assets for liquidation. 507 00:41:07,255 --> 00:41:10,555 That includes these antiques I bought for you. 508 00:41:11,055 --> 00:41:13,855 - You are the best. - Love tokens, anniversary gifts. 509 00:41:14,155 --> 00:41:18,455 - Junk. Here, take that desk too. - Elise, this hurts me. 510 00:41:18,855 --> 00:41:21,555 I care about you...about us. About the magic. 511 00:41:21,855 --> 00:41:24,755 - What exactly is going on here? - And this Japanese secretary. 512 00:41:25,055 --> 00:41:27,255 - I want that to go. - Back off, Jacko! 513 00:41:27,755 --> 00:41:30,655 Elise, this isn't right. It's hormonal. You can't do this. 514 00:41:30,955 --> 00:41:33,555 - Watch me! - But this is my stuff! 515 00:41:33,955 --> 00:41:37,055 It's the 90s, Bill. Downsize! 516 00:41:43,155 --> 00:41:45,155 At Jason's Bar Mitzvah 2 weeks later- 517 00:41:45,455 --> 00:41:48,555 - First Wives Club got its first big break. 518 00:41:48,955 --> 00:41:53,255 Thanks to Brenda's dear, dear Sicilian uncle. 519 00:41:56,355 --> 00:41:59,555 Uncle Carmine. My father's side. 520 00:42:02,255 --> 00:42:05,655 Morty and I have planned for this day since Jason was born. 521 00:42:05,955 --> 00:42:09,755 - But Morty's going to be here. - But next to me. 522 00:42:10,155 --> 00:42:12,355 We're not a family anymore. 523 00:42:12,655 --> 00:42:15,355 It's OK. I'll be fine. 524 00:42:18,155 --> 00:42:19,855 Excuse me. 525 00:42:27,155 --> 00:42:28,655 He brought her... 526 00:42:29,555 --> 00:42:32,155 ...to my son's Bar Mitzvah! 527 00:42:32,455 --> 00:42:33,655 Is she a gift? 528 00:42:37,455 --> 00:42:41,455 - Brenda, can I speak freely? - Sure. Annie's cool. 529 00:42:41,855 --> 00:42:46,155 I speak for the entire family and your late father - my beloved brother - 530 00:42:46,555 --> 00:42:53,355 - when I say Morty is garbage. I'd be honored to take him out. 531 00:42:54,355 --> 00:42:59,555 No, don't you dare. Morty the Garbage is my problem. 532 00:43:00,055 --> 00:43:03,355 I'll work it out myself. Thanks for the thought anyway. 533 00:43:03,755 --> 00:43:05,055 My angel. 534 00:43:05,355 --> 00:43:08,755 For Morty to treat you this way after what your father did for him... 535 00:43:09,055 --> 00:43:11,355 Where would he be? 536 00:43:11,755 --> 00:43:16,255 The first year of his business, all his merchandise - 537 00:43:16,755 --> 00:43:20,455 - fell off one of our trucks. 538 00:43:20,855 --> 00:43:22,355 You're not serious? 539 00:43:22,655 --> 00:43:25,855 We were happy to help you newlyweds. 540 00:43:26,155 --> 00:43:29,055 My Morty a crook? 541 00:43:29,555 --> 00:43:33,455 Check his books. They're fiction. Bestsellers! 542 00:43:34,155 --> 00:43:37,355 - Ciao. - Ciao. Grazie. 543 00:43:40,155 --> 00:43:42,155 Really liked your uncle. 544 00:43:46,155 --> 00:43:50,355 - Mother! Mother! Where are you? - Over here, bitch. 545 00:43:50,755 --> 00:43:54,555 Mother, I met a man. He's an angel. 546 00:43:54,955 --> 00:43:57,655 He's a God. He's a doctor. 547 00:43:58,555 --> 00:43:59,955 It's perfect. 548 00:44:03,055 --> 00:44:06,855 - Do I really have the part? - Baby, you know it. 549 00:44:08,355 --> 00:44:09,955 Pizza! 550 00:44:12,455 --> 00:44:15,155 - Oh my God! - Elise! 551 00:44:15,455 --> 00:44:18,255 - There's the Lichtenstein. - What the hell are you doing? 552 00:44:18,655 --> 00:44:20,955 - The Dine. Take that. - This is so cool. 553 00:44:21,255 --> 00:44:23,255 - All the gym equipment. - I'm getting a restraining order. 554 00:44:23,555 --> 00:44:27,455 No, Bill, this is great. - Hi, I'm Phoebe. 555 00:44:27,755 --> 00:44:31,255 I've seen all your movies and I want to be just like you, only me! 556 00:44:31,655 --> 00:44:35,855 Phoebe, some advice... Be afraid. Be very afraid. 557 00:44:36,255 --> 00:44:39,655 - Pheebs, she's bitter. - And take the cappuccino machine! 558 00:44:39,955 --> 00:44:41,855 Bill, I have a great idea. 559 00:44:42,155 --> 00:44:44,955 Wouldn't she be great to play opposite me? 560 00:44:45,455 --> 00:44:47,155 Bill is producing this new, incredible movie - 561 00:44:47,355 --> 00:44:49,955 - with this young, hot director. I'm the star of it. 562 00:44:50,355 --> 00:44:53,055 - I'm Monique. - What? 563 00:44:53,355 --> 00:44:55,455 And you can be my Mom! 564 00:45:00,555 --> 00:45:04,855 While Elise cleaned out Bill's office, loft and house in the Hamptons - 565 00:45:05,255 --> 00:45:08,955 Brenda and I looked for an office. A base for the Club. 566 00:45:13,655 --> 00:45:15,555 Come in. 567 00:45:18,455 --> 00:45:22,355 Look at this. It's early everything, huh. 568 00:45:22,755 --> 00:45:26,355 Oh, my goodness. Look at this. 569 00:45:28,355 --> 00:45:30,755 You know what it says? "I beat Meryl." 570 00:45:31,055 --> 00:45:34,555 - It does not. Put that down. - Is there chocolate inside? 571 00:45:34,955 --> 00:45:36,855 - Put it down! - OK, OK. 572 00:45:37,155 --> 00:45:42,655 Put it gently down. Look. Do you believe this stuff? 573 00:45:43,155 --> 00:45:45,555 I don't know where to put it. There's no room in my warehouse. 574 00:45:45,955 --> 00:45:49,055 I could have put it in my building downtown. 575 00:45:49,355 --> 00:45:51,055 - You own a building? - Yeah, I do. 576 00:45:51,355 --> 00:45:53,255 I sublet it normally, but... 577 00:45:53,555 --> 00:45:55,955 ...now it's...vacant. 578 00:46:07,355 --> 00:46:10,755 There's a lot of work to be done. You have to see it. 579 00:46:11,155 --> 00:46:13,255 Look at this. 580 00:46:18,255 --> 00:46:21,055 All right, this is perfect. 581 00:46:21,355 --> 00:46:26,155 All right, girls! This is fabulous. 582 00:46:29,055 --> 00:46:34,155 While Brenda and I worked like crazy gathering information - 583 00:46:34,655 --> 00:46:37,455 - Elise spent most of her time on the phone to her agent. 584 00:46:38,255 --> 00:46:41,855 Dan Carlin, please. Elise Eliot calling. 585 00:46:42,255 --> 00:46:45,955 - Elise Eliot! - And finally it came through for her. 586 00:46:46,955 --> 00:46:52,255 - This is a great play! - I told her she had to do it. 587 00:46:52,655 --> 00:46:55,855 I don't want to do theater! I haven't done theater in years! 588 00:46:56,155 --> 00:46:59,955 Bill always said theater was bad for my career... 589 00:47:00,355 --> 00:47:03,355 - ...which actually I agree with. - Excuse me, but this is a great role. 590 00:47:03,655 --> 00:47:07,255 This is about a bitter, unloved, emotionally barren woman. 591 00:47:07,655 --> 00:47:09,955 - That's not me! - It's you! 592 00:47:10,755 --> 00:47:12,155 Thank you. 593 00:47:15,755 --> 00:47:18,355 - Hello. - It's Bill. Where's Elise? 594 00:47:18,755 --> 00:47:21,355 - It's for you... Bill. - Hello. 595 00:47:21,655 --> 00:47:24,655 - Listen to me, you piece of garbage. - I can't hear you. 596 00:47:24,955 --> 00:47:27,855 I'll sue you. I'll break you. 597 00:47:28,255 --> 00:47:30,755 You vindictive sack of silicone! 598 00:47:31,055 --> 00:47:35,455 - That's my car, you piece of plastic! - Oh, darn. 599 00:47:35,855 --> 00:47:38,055 Bill... Lamborghini. 600 00:47:38,355 --> 00:47:39,955 The Lamborghini. 601 00:47:40,155 --> 00:47:41,455 He's mad. Whoo! 602 00:47:44,655 --> 00:47:46,755 Elise, can I ask you a question? 603 00:47:47,055 --> 00:47:50,655 Aren't you frustrated? You climb and climb and go nowhere. 604 00:47:51,055 --> 00:47:55,855 I love it! Burns off the booze. You want to know something? 605 00:47:56,255 --> 00:48:00,355 - I get my best ideas when I work out. - You get ideas?! 606 00:48:00,755 --> 00:48:03,755 It clears out my head. I think straight. Everything makes sense. 607 00:48:04,055 --> 00:48:07,055 Better start thinking because we need Morty's books to prove fraud. 608 00:48:07,555 --> 00:48:11,155 I know where they are! Morty just bought Shelly a penthouse. 609 00:48:11,455 --> 00:48:14,755 - Now, figure out how to get in. - Duarto. 610 00:48:15,155 --> 00:48:18,155 Shelly has a new apartment that needs to be decorated. 611 00:48:21,255 --> 00:48:24,155 Gunilla, I'd adore it. 612 00:48:25,055 --> 00:48:28,555 Enchant�e. Au revoir, jolie! 613 00:48:28,855 --> 00:48:35,155 Gunilla Garson-Goldberg personally invited me to her society luncheon. 614 00:48:35,655 --> 00:48:37,355 Why? 615 00:48:39,355 --> 00:48:44,655 Gunilla Goldberg was happy helping us, she being a first wife herself. 616 00:48:45,055 --> 00:48:48,955 Indeed, Gunilla was a 1st, 2nd, 3rd - 617 00:48:49,355 --> 00:48:53,755 - and 4th wife, which accounted for her very comfortable surroundings. 618 00:48:54,255 --> 00:48:57,055 This is delicious! Usually I bring my own dressing. 619 00:48:57,355 --> 00:49:01,255 That fat-free ranch stuff, but this is restaurant quality. 620 00:49:01,655 --> 00:49:04,355 - Thank you. - Can I tell you something? 621 00:49:04,655 --> 00:49:06,755 When I first got your call, I said to Morty... 622 00:49:07,055 --> 00:49:11,555 "This just feels so right." Me and Gunilla. 623 00:49:11,955 --> 00:49:16,155 I used to work for Morty as his executive assistant. 624 00:49:16,555 --> 00:49:19,155 He was married to that nightmare then...Brenda - 625 00:49:19,455 --> 00:49:22,055 - a completely class-free dumpster woman. 626 00:49:22,355 --> 00:49:25,655 I said to him: "Morty, you' ve got to move on and move up." 627 00:49:26,055 --> 00:49:30,155 Now, here I am! Taste Central. 628 00:49:30,555 --> 00:49:37,055 The moment I saw you...my first impression was she's someone... 629 00:49:37,655 --> 00:49:41,355 See, that's what I told him. But he doesn't get it. 630 00:49:41,655 --> 00:49:44,955 - He doesn't get a lot of things. - Are you finished? 631 00:49:45,355 --> 00:49:48,255 - Yeah, I'm done. - Take the fork. 632 00:49:50,755 --> 00:49:52,455 Fork! 633 00:49:54,555 --> 00:50:01,555 All you need to enter society is some advice and a guiding hand. 634 00:50:02,055 --> 00:50:03,755 Like what? 635 00:50:04,155 --> 00:50:08,055 The correct florist and the utterly ideal chef. 636 00:50:08,355 --> 00:50:11,655 Of course, a decorator...of death. 637 00:50:13,555 --> 00:50:16,855 Your house is your calling card. It has to be perfected - 638 00:50:17,255 --> 00:50:19,755 - photographed, published. 639 00:50:20,055 --> 00:50:22,555 Can you really help me? I would kill for that. 640 00:50:22,855 --> 00:50:29,255 That's unnecessary. Just two words: Duarto Feliz. 641 00:50:29,755 --> 00:50:33,155 He is a genius. A gem! 642 00:50:34,755 --> 00:50:38,355 Of course, he's impossible to get. He works all the time. 643 00:50:44,155 --> 00:50:45,455 Oh, my God! 644 00:50:47,155 --> 00:50:48,855 There she is! Princess Pelvis. 645 00:50:49,155 --> 00:50:51,455 - Gunilla says she went for it. - Fabulous! 646 00:50:51,755 --> 00:50:53,555 Johnny, let's go. 647 00:50:53,855 --> 00:50:56,655 So, Duarto makes his move and Shelly falls for it. 648 00:50:56,955 --> 00:50:59,855 - Let's synchronize our watches. - Just like "Mission Impossible". 649 00:51:01,955 --> 00:51:05,055 - These people are always late. - Shut up, Morty, and stay shut up. 650 00:51:05,455 --> 00:51:08,755 - Take it easy. - What if he doesn't like us? 651 00:51:09,055 --> 00:51:12,455 - What are you worried about? Go on, answer the bell. 652 00:51:17,855 --> 00:51:19,755 - Okay! - Fine. 653 00:51:27,255 --> 00:51:31,255 Hello! Please, do come in. 654 00:51:32,255 --> 00:51:34,855 It's an honor and beyond. 655 00:51:35,255 --> 00:51:38,255 Gunilla Garson-Goldberg informs me you are my new best friend. 656 00:51:38,555 --> 00:51:41,955 - I hope! - Duarto Feliz...And may I? 657 00:51:42,355 --> 00:51:43,855 Please! 658 00:51:45,355 --> 00:51:47,155 Extraordinary! 659 00:51:49,355 --> 00:51:52,555 Interesting little touches everywhere. 660 00:51:53,855 --> 00:51:58,755 - What? - That chair is agony. 661 00:51:59,155 --> 00:52:01,055 - Morty, do something! - What? 662 00:52:01,355 --> 00:52:05,655 - Just cover it up. Get rid of it! -Take it easy. 663 00:52:06,155 --> 00:52:08,255 It's his chair. I didn't want that chair. 664 00:52:08,555 --> 00:52:10,955 - It's covered. - Thanks ever so much. 665 00:52:11,255 --> 00:52:13,755 Now, then... 666 00:52:15,155 --> 00:52:16,755 I feel... 667 00:52:17,055 --> 00:52:18,355 You feel... 668 00:52:18,655 --> 00:52:20,655 Light... 669 00:52:30,955 --> 00:52:32,655 - Get out. - What?! 670 00:52:32,955 --> 00:52:36,255 I need to be alone in this space for an hour, at least. 671 00:52:36,555 --> 00:52:38,855 It is very delicate. I must bond. 672 00:52:39,155 --> 00:52:42,155 - We understand. - I must have total access. 673 00:52:42,555 --> 00:52:45,455 - What is upstairs? - That's just the office. 674 00:52:45,755 --> 00:52:47,055 Le office. 675 00:52:47,455 --> 00:52:49,655 Stay out of le office! 676 00:52:49,955 --> 00:52:52,855 - Leave me one hour. - We understand. 677 00:52:53,255 --> 00:52:55,255 One hour! Thank you. 678 00:53:01,555 --> 00:53:03,155 Bye bye. 679 00:53:06,255 --> 00:53:08,455 Girls... Girls! Come on, hurry. 680 00:53:08,755 --> 00:53:13,555 - Ow, my knee, damn it. - We don't have much time. 681 00:53:14,155 --> 00:53:18,755 - Where are we going? - Honey, don't worry about it. 682 00:53:19,155 --> 00:53:21,055 Let's go in here. 683 00:53:21,955 --> 00:53:23,555 Here we go! In here. 684 00:53:35,455 --> 00:53:36,755 Brenda! 685 00:53:38,755 --> 00:53:40,555 There's an office upstairs. 686 00:53:40,755 --> 00:53:42,455 There's an office upstairs! 687 00:53:42,855 --> 00:53:44,655 - Let's go upstairs. - Good girl! 688 00:53:48,355 --> 00:53:50,255 I feel dizzy. 689 00:53:55,055 --> 00:53:57,055 Annie, check the computer. I'll check the files. 690 00:53:57,355 --> 00:53:59,655 I need the key. Where's the key? 691 00:54:05,955 --> 00:54:07,255 - Hello! - Ready. 692 00:54:11,755 --> 00:54:13,255 Come on, tax returns. 693 00:54:31,655 --> 00:54:32,855 What is this stuff? 694 00:54:42,855 --> 00:54:44,055 Got 'em! 695 00:54:46,555 --> 00:54:48,555 Come on, hustle, Morty. 696 00:54:48,955 --> 00:54:50,655 Social climbers on the rise. 697 00:54:50,955 --> 00:54:53,155 Oh, God! 698 00:54:53,455 --> 00:54:56,455 - They're back! They're back! - Stall them. 699 00:54:56,955 --> 00:54:59,655 - With what? - Make something up. lmprovise. 700 00:54:59,955 --> 00:55:01,355 - What's the matter with you? - I can't improvise. 701 00:55:01,655 --> 00:55:03,655 I'm putting the files right in here. 702 00:55:03,955 --> 00:55:07,455 Keep them away from the front door. 703 00:55:07,755 --> 00:55:11,355 - I'm clean. I'm clean. I'm clean. - Slap her. Slap her. 704 00:55:18,155 --> 00:55:19,455 Hello! 705 00:55:19,755 --> 00:55:23,555 I know you said an hour, but it's cold today and I couldn't stay away. 706 00:55:23,955 --> 00:55:25,155 - Tell me everything! - How much? 707 00:55:25,455 --> 00:55:29,155 I'll tell you what. We're going to look out the living room windows. 708 00:55:29,655 --> 00:55:32,855 Why? Because I'll tell you why. 709 00:55:33,255 --> 00:55:37,655 Windows are the eyes of a room. 710 00:55:38,055 --> 00:55:40,255 -So? - Oh, Duarto. 711 00:55:40,555 --> 00:55:44,655 The valance... The valance is our eyebrows. 712 00:55:45,155 --> 00:55:46,955 - The drapes are... - I gotta pee. 713 00:55:47,155 --> 00:55:49,155 You can't, you can't! 714 00:55:50,555 --> 00:55:55,055 Where was l? Oh, the drapes...are the eyelashes. 715 00:55:55,455 --> 00:55:58,855 You said windows were eyelashes. 716 00:56:01,755 --> 00:56:06,055 What do we do? Where do we go? 717 00:56:06,455 --> 00:56:08,755 The window. Come on. 718 00:56:15,155 --> 00:56:17,555 What do we do now? 719 00:56:22,055 --> 00:56:25,755 We'll get into this window washing thing and ride it down. 720 00:56:30,955 --> 00:56:34,355 - Annie... - You gotta go down, honey. 721 00:56:34,755 --> 00:56:38,455 - It's the only way out! - I have a fear of everything. 722 00:56:39,455 --> 00:56:43,255 - Come on, you're the new Annie. - Annie, watch! 723 00:56:43,655 --> 00:56:47,655 I'm going in first. I do all my own stunts. 724 00:56:55,355 --> 00:56:57,655 Gimme the controls! 725 00:56:59,355 --> 00:57:03,155 I can't do this! I can't stand this! 726 00:57:03,555 --> 00:57:05,455 Gotham's my inspiration. 727 00:57:05,755 --> 00:57:10,055 The white of the snow pelting the trees of Central Park. 728 00:57:10,455 --> 00:57:14,055 The yellow of the taxis. The blue... 729 00:57:14,355 --> 00:57:19,555 But who cares about blue? No one feels blue with my design. 730 00:57:19,955 --> 00:57:23,055 - Forget about that. - What about those drapes? 731 00:57:23,455 --> 00:57:26,055 The window meeting is over. It's time to consider the stairs. 732 00:57:26,355 --> 00:57:28,655 - What about that dumb fountain? - I rather like it. 733 00:57:28,955 --> 00:57:31,055 I'd rather look at the window. 734 00:57:35,055 --> 00:57:36,255 Oh, my God! 735 00:57:37,855 --> 00:57:42,955 -Is that Elise Eliot? - Elise, you look great! 736 00:57:43,355 --> 00:57:46,155 You look great! ! 737 00:58:14,555 --> 00:58:15,855 You want to go again? 738 00:58:17,955 --> 00:58:22,155 - Oh, my God! - I've never been so petrified. 739 00:58:22,555 --> 00:58:26,455 No, really, really...except for that one time. 740 00:58:26,855 --> 00:58:30,755 - I'm not going to tell you. - Why not? We won't judge you. 741 00:58:31,155 --> 00:58:33,755 We're your buddies. We cherish you. 742 00:58:34,055 --> 00:58:36,955 We would never ever make fun of you. Ever! Would we, hon? 743 00:58:37,255 --> 00:58:39,055 - No, no. - OK. 744 00:58:39,355 --> 00:58:44,655 All right. You remember Cynthia's 21st birthday? 745 00:58:45,055 --> 00:58:48,555 Her parents rented that big hall. 746 00:58:49,055 --> 00:58:51,455 We wanted to do something special for her. 747 00:58:51,755 --> 00:58:54,555 Elise thought we should be the entertainment. 748 00:58:54,855 --> 00:58:57,755 We were supposed to sing to her like a girl group. 749 00:58:58,155 --> 00:59:01,755 We sang that Leslie Gore song. Remember? We were a big hit. 750 00:59:02,055 --> 00:59:05,355 I hated it. I can't sing. I was terrified before all those people. 751 00:59:05,755 --> 00:59:08,555 I'd ratherjump off that building. 752 00:59:08,855 --> 00:59:11,455 - You were wonderful. - But it was for Cynthia. 753 00:59:11,755 --> 00:59:14,755 I remember that. We were a group. 754 00:59:15,155 --> 00:59:17,855 We are a group! We should do it and sing again. 755 00:59:18,255 --> 00:59:20,355 - Let's do it again. I wanna sing. - Why? 756 00:59:20,655 --> 00:59:22,855 Why not? We'll blend. We'll sing with you. 757 00:59:23,155 --> 00:59:26,455 - We'll blend! - All of us altogether, real loud, OK? 758 00:59:26,855 --> 00:59:29,555 You're gonna sing with me, all right? 759 00:59:29,955 --> 00:59:34,455 To Cynthia. Happy birthday wherever you are. 760 00:59:37,055 --> 00:59:38,755 All right, I'm ready. 761 00:59:41,655 --> 00:59:43,955 - Go! - Pick a note! 762 00:59:44,355 --> 00:59:46,355 You don't own me! 763 00:59:47,655 --> 00:59:50,555 I'm not just one of your many toys 764 00:59:50,855 --> 00:59:56,055 You don't own me! Don't say I can't go with other boys 765 00:59:58,755 --> 01:00:01,355 And don't tell me what to do! 766 01:00:01,655 --> 01:00:04,955 And don't tell me what to say! 767 01:00:07,855 --> 01:00:09,755 I sound horrible. I hate you for this. 768 01:00:14,355 --> 01:00:17,855 Hi, Mom, it's your little spy at the ad agency. 769 01:00:18,255 --> 01:00:21,455 I can't talk now, but have I got news for you! 770 01:00:21,755 --> 01:00:26,255 I think it's time you got back into the ad business. Call me. 771 01:00:28,755 --> 01:00:32,455 Bren? It's Annie. Listen to this. Aaron's partners want to sell- 772 01:00:32,955 --> 01:00:37,055 - their share of the ad agency. I could buy it if I had the money. 773 01:00:37,555 --> 01:00:40,755 Can you imagine? God, Aaron would die. 774 01:00:43,455 --> 01:00:48,455 It's Brenda. Annie needs a down payment for an ad agency. 775 01:00:48,855 --> 01:00:51,355 Any idea where she can get the money? 776 01:00:52,255 --> 01:00:56,855 So, Elise sold me Bill's things at a very reasonable price. 777 01:00:57,255 --> 01:00:59,455 And I put it all up for auction. 778 01:00:59,755 --> 01:01:02,955 Your sale has generated a great deal of excitement. 779 01:01:03,355 --> 01:01:05,855 I want to raise funds for my organization. 780 01:01:06,155 --> 01:01:08,755 However, some lots may fail to sell. 781 01:01:09,155 --> 01:01:10,955 I wouldn't worry about that. 782 01:01:11,155 --> 01:01:13,655 At $380,000 for the Lichtenstein. 783 01:01:14,055 --> 01:01:17,355 $380,000, selling then. Fair warning of $380,000. 784 01:01:17,655 --> 01:01:19,455 Paddle 3-7-2. 785 01:01:20,855 --> 01:01:24,155 $380,000 for that? 786 01:01:24,555 --> 01:01:28,355 Lot 55 is the Louis chaise canape showing here on my left.... 787 01:01:28,755 --> 01:01:31,555 And I have $45,000 on the telephone. 788 01:01:31,855 --> 01:01:33,355 - It's gorgeous. - Fabulous. 789 01:01:33,655 --> 01:01:35,055 Absolutely sublime. 790 01:01:35,255 --> 01:01:37,755 It doesn't look very comfy. Morty likes his recliner. 791 01:01:38,155 --> 01:01:41,055 ...in place now at $ 48,000. $50,000 at the desk now. 792 01:01:41,455 --> 01:01:44,255 $50,000...$55,000. The lady's bid up front now. 793 01:01:44,555 --> 01:01:48,055 My God, did you see who bid? That's Elise Eliot. 794 01:01:48,455 --> 01:01:51,555 She has impeccable taste...for an actress. 795 01:01:51,855 --> 01:01:55,655 Fair warning then at $55,000. 796 01:01:56,055 --> 01:01:59,655 - It's a fabulous chaise. - I don't know. 797 01:01:59,955 --> 01:02:03,355 That sofa? Architectural Digest. The cover! 798 01:02:03,855 --> 01:02:06,655 - Really? - You? Guaranteed! 799 01:02:06,955 --> 01:02:10,655 $60,000 this side! New bidder now at $60,000. 800 01:02:11,055 --> 01:02:13,455 Lot is yours, madam, at $60,000. 801 01:02:13,855 --> 01:02:15,055 You, madam, $60,000. 802 01:02:17,655 --> 01:02:20,055 - I got a chaise. - Beautiful! 803 01:02:23,055 --> 01:02:27,255 Lot 57, the fine Yung Che charger showing here and $90,000 to start. 804 01:02:27,655 --> 01:02:30,555 $90,000 is bid. Thank you, sir. $90,000...$100,000! 805 01:02:30,855 --> 01:02:33,755 New bidder now, $110,000. The lady's bid here now. 806 01:02:34,055 --> 01:02:37,555 $115,000. Thank you, sir. $115,000. 807 01:02:38,655 --> 01:02:40,655 - It's cute. - It's sublime. 808 01:02:40,955 --> 01:02:44,555 - Essential! - Oxygen! 809 01:02:44,955 --> 01:02:47,755 $125,000. The lady's bid now at 125. 810 01:02:48,055 --> 01:02:51,155 Need a new face now. $125,000 up front. 811 01:02:51,655 --> 01:02:55,055 - $130,000. New bidder up front. - Elise Eliot must be very rich. 812 01:02:55,355 --> 01:02:59,355 - Show business. - Teach her a lesson. Come on. 813 01:02:59,755 --> 01:03:04,155 At $130,000. 130... $135,000 at the back! 814 01:03:04,555 --> 01:03:06,455 New bidder now. $135,000. 815 01:03:07,455 --> 01:03:10,555 $135,000. Lady's bid at the back. 816 01:03:11,055 --> 01:03:14,155 - Who is she? She looks familiar. - Just someone glamorous. 817 01:03:14,455 --> 01:03:19,055 Some Euro-trash. Shelly, you can't let that plate leave the US. 818 01:03:19,455 --> 01:03:22,955 - It's Japanese. - Don't they have enough? 819 01:03:24,155 --> 01:03:29,755 $135,000. The bidder's here at the back at $135,000. 820 01:03:30,655 --> 01:03:33,255 Lady's bid at the back at $135,000. 821 01:03:33,555 --> 01:03:36,155 It's yours now at $135,000 822 01:03:36,455 --> 01:03:38,555 Bidder's here at the back. 823 01:03:38,855 --> 01:03:41,455 - Go ahead! - Aber gehen Sie! 824 01:03:45,455 --> 01:03:48,255 Jackie O had one just like it. 825 01:03:50,755 --> 01:03:53,955 $140,000 up front now. $140,000... 826 01:03:54,255 --> 01:03:55,655 ...against you at the back, madam. 827 01:03:55,955 --> 01:03:57,955 $140,000...$140,000. 828 01:03:59,155 --> 01:04:01,955 For you, madam, paddle 560. 829 01:04:03,755 --> 01:04:06,555 Thank you, thank you. 830 01:04:07,755 --> 01:04:12,855 Shelly, what happened here? $140,000 for a plate? 831 01:04:13,255 --> 01:04:16,555 $47,000 for a carpet? A used carpet? 832 01:04:16,955 --> 01:04:20,055 $300,000 for a Lamborghini? Are you crazy? 833 01:04:20,355 --> 01:04:24,155 I bought the car for you. It was only 300 grand. It was a gift. 834 01:04:24,555 --> 01:04:26,455 With my money you bought it! I bought me the gift! 835 01:04:26,755 --> 01:04:28,855 Jesus, I want a lifestyle! 836 01:04:29,155 --> 01:04:32,255 With some ambiance and some classic, eternal good taste. 837 01:04:32,555 --> 01:04:35,455 But not for $300,000, Shelly! 838 01:04:44,855 --> 01:04:47,755 I can leave if you like. 839 01:04:48,155 --> 01:04:52,055 It's not like you've asked me to marry you. 840 01:04:53,755 --> 01:04:55,255 Would you... 841 01:04:56,155 --> 01:04:58,355 ...unzip me? 842 01:05:02,455 --> 01:05:04,455 Thank you. 843 01:05:04,855 --> 01:05:09,955 Shel, I lost my temper. I'm sorry. The Lamborghini is a very good deal. 844 01:05:15,555 --> 01:05:19,155 - Hi, Jase. How was the game? - Knicks lose again. 845 01:05:19,455 --> 01:05:23,355 Every player on that team is a millionaire. They can't really lose. 846 01:05:23,755 --> 01:05:25,755 - What do you think? - That's not new, is it? 847 01:05:26,155 --> 01:05:29,455 It's better than new. It's the first time it's fit me in 3 years. 848 01:05:29,955 --> 01:05:32,955 Look at me! I have a waist, legs... Who knew? 849 01:05:33,255 --> 01:05:34,755 How's your father? Did you have fun? 850 01:05:35,055 --> 01:05:38,855 - Yeah, but don't let that bother you. - What a thing to say! 851 01:05:39,155 --> 01:05:43,955 Jason, look. I remember how great it was when we were a family. 852 01:05:44,455 --> 01:05:47,155 Even though we're not together now, you still have both of us. 853 01:05:47,455 --> 01:05:50,955 You guys can't even pick out my birthday card without a lawyer. 854 01:05:51,255 --> 01:05:55,255 Jason, I know you worry about your father. 855 01:05:55,655 --> 01:05:59,255 He's a very good man. 856 01:05:59,655 --> 01:06:04,555 He's a very good, very confused man. 857 01:06:05,955 --> 01:06:08,755 But you don't have to worry about me - 858 01:06:09,155 --> 01:06:12,455 - because I'm going to be fine. I'm lightening up, literally. 859 01:06:12,855 --> 01:06:17,555 And you know what? Your father and I love you to pieces. 860 01:06:18,055 --> 01:06:21,855 - There, did I embarrass you? - Almost. 861 01:06:22,955 --> 01:06:25,555 You want to go to a movie? Me and you? 862 01:06:25,955 --> 01:06:29,455 - Together...in public? - Mom, I'm sorry. 863 01:06:29,755 --> 01:06:34,255 I was a little freaked out by Dad getting engaged to Shelly. 864 01:06:37,055 --> 01:06:42,755 Oh, well... I can see how that would rip your heart out. 865 01:06:44,155 --> 01:06:46,055 Thanks, Mom. 866 01:07:06,255 --> 01:07:07,955 We gotta nail Bill. 867 01:07:08,255 --> 01:07:10,655 We gotta...slaughter him. 868 01:07:11,055 --> 01:07:12,855 Right off the face of the planet. 869 01:07:13,155 --> 01:07:17,055 Him and that tramp. That infant. 870 01:07:17,455 --> 01:07:20,555 - I need a drink. - Holy moly, she's loaded. 871 01:07:20,855 --> 01:07:24,155 I know. I'm really worried. She had me look at Bill's records - 872 01:07:24,555 --> 01:07:26,355 - and the guy's a saint. He's clean. 873 01:07:26,555 --> 01:07:30,755 - He's a saint with a great lawyer. - What? 874 01:07:31,155 --> 01:07:34,755 Are you saying you can't find anything on him? 875 01:07:35,155 --> 01:07:38,655 - I'm really sorry. I'll look again. - This isn't fair. 876 01:07:39,055 --> 01:07:43,155 Aaron's going to be massacred. Morty's won't know what hit him - 877 01:07:43,555 --> 01:07:46,555 - and Bill's just gonna walk away. With alimony! 878 01:07:46,955 --> 01:07:48,455 We'll keep trying, Elise. 879 01:07:48,755 --> 01:07:53,255 You'd better keep trying because this is my life and my money! 880 01:07:53,655 --> 01:07:56,755 What do you know? You don't get it. You're civilians. 881 01:07:57,055 --> 01:07:58,955 You're just housewives. 882 01:07:59,255 --> 01:08:01,255 - That's it! - No, wait. 883 01:08:01,555 --> 01:08:03,155 You'll never understand. 884 01:08:03,455 --> 01:08:06,255 Gimme that. Excuse me. Give that back. 885 01:08:06,555 --> 01:08:09,455 I say this with love compassion and true sisterhood. 886 01:08:09,855 --> 01:08:12,055 You are full of shit! 887 01:08:13,455 --> 01:08:14,755 What? 888 01:08:14,955 --> 01:08:16,355 OK, alimony sucks. 889 01:08:16,655 --> 01:08:19,455 OK, you didn't get to play a policewoman in a Wonderbra. 890 01:08:19,855 --> 01:08:21,155 But you grew up gorgeous. 891 01:08:21,455 --> 01:08:24,655 Thanks to Cher's pioneering efforts, you still haven't hit puberty. 892 01:08:24,955 --> 01:08:26,855 Once you were a terrific actress. 893 01:08:27,155 --> 01:08:28,855 You even got an Oscar to prove it. 894 01:08:29,255 --> 01:08:31,755 You spent your whole life with people sucking up to you. 895 01:08:32,155 --> 01:08:37,055 I'm sure Annie agrees with me that your perception of life is a bit altered. 896 01:08:37,555 --> 01:08:41,955 - Annie, do you agree with her? - Come on! 897 01:08:42,755 --> 01:08:44,155 Brenda, she's very upset. 898 01:08:44,455 --> 01:08:46,955 - Two pinheads! - Wait a minute. 899 01:08:47,355 --> 01:08:49,155 You've got some nerve. 900 01:08:49,355 --> 01:08:52,455 I drink because I'm a sensitive and highly strung person. 901 01:08:52,855 --> 01:08:54,855 No! That's why your co-stars drink! 902 01:08:55,155 --> 01:08:56,855 I am not a drunk! 903 01:08:57,155 --> 01:09:00,355 Really? Let's examine the evidence. 904 01:09:00,655 --> 01:09:03,055 Look, all bottles! 905 01:09:03,355 --> 01:09:05,555 And gallon jugs. 906 01:09:05,955 --> 01:09:08,555 - I had guests. - Who? Guns 'N' Roses? 907 01:09:08,855 --> 01:09:10,355 Come on, you two. 908 01:09:10,655 --> 01:09:14,555 The enemy's out there, not in here, and we are best friends! 909 01:09:14,955 --> 01:09:17,355 After all those years, you never called me. 910 01:09:17,655 --> 01:09:20,455 - You were unlisted! - You always gossip behind my back. 911 01:09:20,755 --> 01:09:22,055 - You deserve it! - You didn't invite me... 912 01:09:22,355 --> 01:09:25,255 - ...to your son's Bar Mitzvah. - You wouldn't have come. 913 01:09:25,555 --> 01:09:28,255 - Yeah, it was in Hebrew. - Oh, shut up! 914 01:09:28,755 --> 01:09:31,255 You think a movie star doesn't have feelings. 915 01:09:31,555 --> 01:09:34,055 You're wrong! I do have feelings. 916 01:09:34,355 --> 01:09:36,855 I'm an actress! I have all of them. 917 01:09:37,155 --> 01:09:42,255 I wouldn't understand. I'm just a housewife and a child to raise. 918 01:09:42,655 --> 01:09:46,755 You were always jealous of me 'cause I was blonde, beautiful and talented. 919 01:09:47,155 --> 01:09:50,255 - And I could have any guy I wanted. - And did! Every guy! 920 01:09:50,655 --> 01:09:52,955 Most of the senior class and half the faculty. 921 01:09:53,255 --> 01:09:54,555 It was the 1960s. 922 01:09:54,755 --> 01:09:57,455 Look at this place. Is this where your fan club meets? 923 01:09:57,955 --> 01:09:59,655 Do you have ritual sacrifices? 924 01:09:59,855 --> 01:10:01,055 Put that down! 925 01:10:02,155 --> 01:10:04,155 - I won that! - I remember. 926 01:10:04,555 --> 01:10:06,655 - Your first "talkie". - What did you ever win? 927 01:10:06,955 --> 01:10:10,455 A pie-eating contest? Best Ingestion. 928 01:10:12,955 --> 01:10:14,855 Oh, no... 929 01:10:15,155 --> 01:10:16,755 Brenda! 930 01:10:17,055 --> 01:10:18,955 This is a Golden Globe. 931 01:10:19,255 --> 01:10:20,555 It's sacred! 932 01:10:20,855 --> 01:10:23,055 It's...trademarked! 933 01:10:25,455 --> 01:10:28,955 - Are you crazy? - Stop it. Both of you! 934 01:10:29,255 --> 01:10:33,455 Annie. You choose! Who's your friend? Me or Brenda? 935 01:10:33,855 --> 01:10:36,255 For once, make a decision. Who's your buddy? 936 01:10:36,555 --> 01:10:38,055 Some Beverly Hills science project... 937 01:10:38,355 --> 01:10:40,455 ...or a woman with her own aisle at the supermarket. 938 01:10:40,755 --> 01:10:43,155 I'm sorry, but I'm not getting involved with this. 939 01:10:43,455 --> 01:10:45,555 You both have severe psychological problems. 940 01:10:45,855 --> 01:10:50,555 I'm... I'm the nice one here. I'm not like this. 941 01:10:51,055 --> 01:10:52,255 - What? - Yes. 942 01:10:52,555 --> 01:10:54,355 - The nice one? - Well, I mean I... 943 01:10:54,655 --> 01:10:56,955 - You mean the rag mop, don't ya? - Excuse me! 944 01:10:57,255 --> 01:10:59,955 The one who can't manage a simple declarative sentence! 945 01:11:00,255 --> 01:11:02,355 The wimp! The wuss! 946 01:11:02,755 --> 01:11:06,055 Well...I changed. I'm much stronger than I used to be. 947 01:11:06,455 --> 01:11:08,855 You are self-righteous! You pipsqueek. 948 01:11:09,255 --> 01:11:10,855 Shut up, you arthritic sex kitten. 949 01:11:11,155 --> 01:11:13,455 - Shut up, Morty's girl. - Monique's mom! 950 01:11:13,755 --> 01:11:16,855 Stop it! You're both selfish assholes. 951 01:11:22,355 --> 01:11:25,855 - Oh, my face! Oh, my God. - That is enough. 952 01:11:26,255 --> 01:11:28,655 Have we forgotten what we're doing here? 953 01:11:29,055 --> 01:11:30,055 What has happened to us? 954 01:11:30,355 --> 01:11:36,155 We're supposed to help each other, not rip each other to shreds. 955 01:11:37,655 --> 01:11:39,355 She's right. 956 01:11:40,855 --> 01:11:45,755 You know, I gotta say I always wondered - 957 01:11:46,155 --> 01:11:49,055 - how drunk Cynthia was when she decided - 958 01:11:49,355 --> 01:11:52,255 - to do a jackknife onto Park Ave. 959 01:13:26,655 --> 01:13:29,255 - Mom. - What's wrong? I came right over. 960 01:13:29,655 --> 01:13:33,455 Things are not working out the way I planned. 961 01:13:33,755 --> 01:13:35,855 And you called me? 962 01:13:36,155 --> 01:13:38,955 Oh, my God! 963 01:13:53,555 --> 01:13:57,955 I don't know. It's just completely falling apart. 964 01:13:58,355 --> 01:14:00,955 We're at each other's throats. 965 01:14:01,355 --> 01:14:04,855 It's like it's all my fault. I'm just useless. 966 01:14:05,255 --> 01:14:08,355 - You are not! - Honey, I am. 967 01:14:08,755 --> 01:14:12,355 The past few weeks you've been a totally different person. 968 01:14:12,655 --> 01:14:15,755 You've stopped apologizing for yourself all the time. 969 01:14:16,155 --> 01:14:17,655 I know. I'm sorry, honey. 970 01:14:17,855 --> 01:14:21,855 This First Wives Club thing can't work and it never could. 971 01:14:22,355 --> 01:14:24,155 You make it work. It can. You can make it work. 972 01:14:24,455 --> 01:14:26,255 Call Brenda and Elise. 973 01:14:26,555 --> 01:14:29,255 I can't call them. What will I say to them? 974 01:14:29,655 --> 01:14:31,755 This is just... I should have seen this. 975 01:14:32,155 --> 01:14:33,455 I should've seen this coming. 976 01:14:33,755 --> 01:14:37,555 I know. Why not write each of them a note! 977 01:14:39,655 --> 01:14:41,755 Or maybe send a hanging plant. 978 01:14:44,655 --> 01:14:46,655 Just a suggestion. 979 01:14:47,955 --> 01:14:49,755 No, Mom. 980 01:14:50,055 --> 01:14:52,855 No, it's over. It's over. 981 01:15:10,255 --> 01:15:11,855 Brenda? 982 01:15:12,255 --> 01:15:15,055 I don't want to be like Cynthia. 983 01:15:19,755 --> 01:15:21,855 - I'm sorry. - It's OK. 984 01:15:24,955 --> 01:15:26,755 Come on in. 985 01:15:27,755 --> 01:15:31,455 - I've never been to your apartment. - I know. 986 01:15:34,855 --> 01:15:37,355 - Annie! - Annie! 987 01:15:40,555 --> 01:15:42,855 Annie, what are you doing? 988 01:15:43,155 --> 01:15:44,455 Elise, it's your loft. 989 01:15:44,755 --> 01:15:47,355 I'm storing some things or I'll burn them if you want. 990 01:15:47,655 --> 01:15:49,955 - But why? - Why? Are you kidding? 991 01:15:50,255 --> 01:15:52,955 We've completely embarrassed ourselves. 992 01:15:53,355 --> 01:15:55,455 We've become exactly what the world thinks we are. 993 01:15:55,655 --> 01:15:59,055 And our ex-husbands! We are "The Three Witches". 994 01:15:59,455 --> 01:16:02,755 Witches? Well, I'll tell you something! 995 01:16:03,155 --> 01:16:04,455 - Witches have powers. - What? 996 01:16:04,655 --> 01:16:07,055 They do! They've powers for good and evil. 997 01:16:07,355 --> 01:16:08,655 Brenda and I are OK now. 998 01:16:08,955 --> 01:16:12,355 We've figured out what we think we know what we want. 999 01:16:12,655 --> 01:16:15,355 I know what went wrong. The whole crackpot idea went wrong. 1000 01:16:15,755 --> 01:16:18,955 Revenge and egos... Thinking we could fix our silly lives. 1001 01:16:19,255 --> 01:16:21,955 - Exactly! We were thinking too small. - What are you talking about? 1002 01:16:22,255 --> 01:16:25,055 We were trying to get back at our ex's, which is a start - 1003 01:16:25,455 --> 01:16:27,955 - but it isn't enough. It's so petty and limited! 1004 01:16:28,255 --> 01:16:29,555 No wonder we're snarling at each other. 1005 01:16:29,755 --> 01:16:31,955 No wonder we're at each other's throats. Listen! 1006 01:16:32,355 --> 01:16:34,355 We have to take our plan and expand it. 1007 01:16:34,555 --> 01:16:36,355 First thing, we take care of our own guys - 1008 01:16:36,655 --> 01:16:39,855 - because they really have it coming. Then...we go global! 1009 01:16:40,255 --> 01:16:41,555 How? 1010 01:16:41,755 --> 01:16:43,255 Are you interested because I'll tell you. 1011 01:16:43,555 --> 01:16:44,855 I don't know if I'm interested. 1012 01:16:45,155 --> 01:16:46,455 What if we erupt again? 1013 01:16:46,655 --> 01:16:49,555 Or Elise, what if you start drinking, and, Brenda, you start sniping? 1014 01:16:49,955 --> 01:16:51,155 - Been there! - Done that! 1015 01:16:51,455 --> 01:16:53,055 - It's not enough for me. - Annie... 1016 01:16:53,355 --> 01:16:55,955 Take a good look at Elise. Look at her! 1017 01:16:56,255 --> 01:16:59,755 I'm sober. And I'm going to do the play. 1018 01:17:00,255 --> 01:17:03,255 - Really? - I'll be there front row opening night. 1019 01:17:03,555 --> 01:17:05,455 Our friendship is everything. Don't leave. 1020 01:17:05,855 --> 01:17:07,455 We can't fall apart now. 1021 01:17:07,755 --> 01:17:10,355 But even if we want to, we don't have enough information. 1022 01:17:10,655 --> 01:17:13,555 Of course, we do have stuff on Aaron and Morty. 1023 01:17:13,955 --> 01:17:16,655 But what about Bill? We're still on square one. 1024 01:17:16,955 --> 01:17:21,955 No, not exactly. I admit all he's done so far is legal... 1025 01:17:22,355 --> 01:17:24,355 ...as far as he knows. 1026 01:17:24,655 --> 01:17:28,155 - What do you mean? - It's all a question of angles. 1027 01:17:28,555 --> 01:17:30,655 - Are you in? - Are you back? 1028 01:17:32,555 --> 01:17:36,255 - Talk. - Well... After you. 1029 01:17:39,455 --> 01:17:46,255 I'm seriously thinking of taking the role of Monique's Mom. 1030 01:17:48,555 --> 01:17:51,255 And I've been thinking about who she is - 1031 01:17:51,555 --> 01:17:55,355 - what she's about. I'm sure you're doing the same thing with Monique. 1032 01:17:55,755 --> 01:17:59,355 Sure. I've been thinking like, streaks... 1033 01:17:59,655 --> 01:18:01,255 ...just around my face. 1034 01:18:01,555 --> 01:18:03,055 Oh! 1035 01:18:04,155 --> 01:18:07,155 And what a beautiful face. 1036 01:18:08,555 --> 01:18:11,955 Anyway, the reason I called is if we're going to work together - 1037 01:18:12,455 --> 01:18:15,355 - I think we should get to know one another. 1038 01:18:15,655 --> 01:18:16,955 It's important. 1039 01:18:18,255 --> 01:18:19,855 Bill is so wrong. 1040 01:18:20,155 --> 01:18:23,455 - You are not Satan. - Oh, stop! 1041 01:18:25,455 --> 01:18:30,455 Do you need a TV or a VCR or a personal computer? 1042 01:18:30,955 --> 01:18:33,255 Who's the first name in top quality - 1043 01:18:33,555 --> 01:18:35,055 - low-cost appliances? 1044 01:18:35,355 --> 01:18:37,655 Let's ask this beautiful young lady here. 1045 01:18:37,955 --> 01:18:39,955 - Excuse me, ma'am. - Why, hello! 1046 01:18:40,355 --> 01:18:41,755 - Hello. - Hi. 1047 01:18:42,055 --> 01:18:46,555 I'm in the market for a low-quality, top-cost appliance. 1048 01:18:46,955 --> 01:18:48,455 - Cut! - Shelly. 1049 01:18:48,755 --> 01:18:51,255 Top-quality, low-cost. 1050 01:18:52,955 --> 01:18:54,855 - Morton Cushman. - Yeah, why? 1051 01:18:55,155 --> 01:18:56,455 You have the right to remain silent. 1052 01:18:56,755 --> 01:19:00,255 What's going on here? I'm shooting a commercial. 1053 01:19:00,555 --> 01:19:02,855 Federal Marshals acting on behalf of the IRS. 1054 01:19:03,155 --> 01:19:04,455 Bobby, call my lawyer. 1055 01:19:10,155 --> 01:19:14,155 On November 28th, at exactly 1400 hours - 1056 01:19:14,555 --> 01:19:18,655 - Operation Hell's Fury swung into action. 1057 01:19:31,955 --> 01:19:34,155 - Morning. - Hi. 1058 01:19:34,455 --> 01:19:38,055 - How's my day shaping up? - Poor Daddy, it's going to be hell. 1059 01:19:38,455 --> 01:19:40,655 Your 9 o'clock's waiting in the conference room. 1060 01:19:40,955 --> 01:19:42,155 Okie-dokie. 1061 01:19:49,155 --> 01:19:50,455 So, where do I stand here now? 1062 01:19:50,755 --> 01:19:54,355 We'll also bill the expenses including but not limited to... 1063 01:19:56,955 --> 01:19:58,655 What is this? 1064 01:20:14,755 --> 01:20:16,755 Miss Eliot. Please... 1065 01:20:17,055 --> 01:20:20,855 - I'm begging you. Please. - Brett, we love the new draft... 1066 01:20:21,155 --> 01:20:23,755 Phoebe's crazy about it. She's going to read it. 1067 01:20:24,255 --> 01:20:25,555 Elise, I'm trying to make a movie here. 1068 01:20:25,755 --> 01:20:27,955 - Hold your calls. - That was an important phonecall. 1069 01:20:28,255 --> 01:20:32,455 - Where's my first check? - Just sit down and shut up! OK? 1070 01:20:32,855 --> 01:20:35,655 Now, let's take a meeting. 1071 01:20:40,355 --> 01:20:43,155 - Hello, Sunshine! - Welcome. 1072 01:20:43,555 --> 01:20:44,955 This is kidnaping. 1073 01:20:45,155 --> 01:20:46,755 I will crucify you. 1074 01:20:47,055 --> 01:20:48,955 You want to talk crucifixion? 1075 01:20:49,755 --> 01:20:51,155 Happy Easter, Morty. 1076 01:20:54,855 --> 01:20:57,155 - Big deal! - Letters from Brenda's father... 1077 01:20:57,455 --> 01:21:01,255 ...about stocking your stores with stolen merchandise. 1078 01:21:01,655 --> 01:21:05,055 - What do they call it in the tabloids? - "Hot stuff". 1079 01:21:05,455 --> 01:21:08,655 Criminal activity. You should be ashamed. 1080 01:21:08,955 --> 01:21:11,555 Wake up and smell the audit. 1081 01:21:11,955 --> 01:21:15,655 Aaron, I just had a little talk with Erik and Marc. 1082 01:21:16,055 --> 01:21:18,555 It seems the business is very dysfunctional. 1083 01:21:18,855 --> 01:21:21,055 Sort of like our marriage. 1084 01:21:21,355 --> 01:21:22,955 So... 1085 01:21:23,255 --> 01:21:24,755 I bought them out. 1086 01:21:26,355 --> 01:21:27,855 What? 1087 01:21:28,555 --> 01:21:32,355 - Yeah, I think we ought to go. - That's a good idea. 1088 01:21:32,855 --> 01:21:35,255 - Goodbye, Erik. - Good luck to you. 1089 01:21:36,355 --> 01:21:37,855 - Annie - Oh, Marc. 1090 01:21:38,255 --> 01:21:40,655 - Love ya. - I do love that suit. 1091 01:21:44,755 --> 01:21:48,555 You couldn't possibly pull off something like this. 1092 01:21:48,855 --> 01:21:50,155 Where did you get this kind of money? 1093 01:21:50,455 --> 01:21:53,555 As agreed, I sold our assets to a friend of mine. 1094 01:21:53,955 --> 01:21:55,855 Here's your half. 1095 01:21:57,155 --> 01:21:58,355 Fifty cents? 1096 01:21:58,755 --> 01:22:02,855 Considering our history together, I thought a dollar was very fair. 1097 01:22:04,555 --> 01:22:09,155 Oh, all right! Take it all. 1098 01:22:09,555 --> 01:22:11,455 - What do you want? Money? - Every cent. 1099 01:22:11,855 --> 01:22:13,255 You're out of your mind. 1100 01:22:13,555 --> 01:22:15,255 You can hand it over and live happily ever after. 1101 01:22:15,455 --> 01:22:17,955 You can give it to the government and get 10 to 20. 1102 01:22:18,355 --> 01:22:19,955 Maybe Duarto can do your cell. 1103 01:22:20,155 --> 01:22:23,555 I see...bars. 1104 01:22:23,955 --> 01:22:25,555 You can't do this to me. 1105 01:22:25,855 --> 01:22:27,755 - But I have done it. - You wouldn't. 1106 01:22:28,155 --> 01:22:30,055 You...couldn't. 1107 01:22:30,255 --> 01:22:33,555 It seems I could and I did. 1108 01:22:33,955 --> 01:22:37,355 You know what, Aaron? I forgot how much fun work can be. 1109 01:22:37,755 --> 01:22:40,055 If you take my agency from me, I'll walk. 1110 01:22:40,455 --> 01:22:42,955 - I'll take my clients with me. - Be my guest. 1111 01:22:43,255 --> 01:22:46,655 I'm not kidding! I will take every single account. 1112 01:22:46,955 --> 01:22:49,655 This place without me.... 1113 01:22:50,055 --> 01:22:53,355 - It would be worthless. - I don't think so, babe. 1114 01:22:53,655 --> 01:22:57,855 Not after the new $45,000,000 account I just landed. 1115 01:22:59,155 --> 01:23:01,055 New account? What account? 1116 01:23:01,355 --> 01:23:03,255 Morty's Electronics will be under my control. 1117 01:23:03,555 --> 01:23:06,055 Advertising, marketing strategy... Everything! 1118 01:23:06,355 --> 01:23:11,255 You will stay on as President, because after all...you are Morty. 1119 01:23:11,655 --> 01:23:14,855 You will receive a salary which will keep you in the lifestyle - 1120 01:23:15,255 --> 01:23:18,555 - to which I think you should become accustomed. 1121 01:23:18,955 --> 01:23:22,455 I don't see what else you can do. It's this orjail. 1122 01:23:22,855 --> 01:23:26,155 So I dumped you for another woman. Get over it! 1123 01:23:26,555 --> 01:23:28,855 Lift something. Wax something. Have something peeled. 1124 01:23:29,255 --> 01:23:32,355 You're right! I hate to admit it, but I'm jealous. 1125 01:23:32,755 --> 01:23:36,855 Miss Lavelle is absolutely gorgeous. She's a bright new star. 1126 01:23:37,355 --> 01:23:40,255 lnterested, Elise? Want to drink her blood? 1127 01:23:40,555 --> 01:23:43,955 How old is she, Bill? 25? 26? 1128 01:23:44,355 --> 01:23:46,655 - 21. - Yeah. 1129 01:23:47,355 --> 01:23:51,855 In about five years! She's 16. 1130 01:23:52,255 --> 01:23:54,055 - What? - Two years ago... 1131 01:23:54,355 --> 01:23:58,555 ...she left high school in Newkirk, Idaho. 1132 01:23:59,055 --> 01:24:01,955 Should've done your homework, Bill. I did. 1133 01:24:02,255 --> 01:24:07,455 - A copy of her birth certificate. - Oh, God. I didn't know. 1134 01:24:07,955 --> 01:24:10,455 My God! What are you going to do? 1135 01:24:10,755 --> 01:24:14,455 What am I going to do? 1136 01:24:14,755 --> 01:24:20,555 Right now, I'm just using the "f" word. Felony! 1137 01:24:21,055 --> 01:24:24,455 I think we should continue this discussion in my office. 1138 01:24:24,955 --> 01:24:26,555 In your office? Is that all you can do? 1139 01:24:26,755 --> 01:24:28,255 Think of yourself, yourself, yourself! 1140 01:24:28,655 --> 01:24:30,955 If you go through with this, I'll have nothing. 1141 01:24:31,255 --> 01:24:32,855 Everyone in town is looking for the new guy. 1142 01:24:33,155 --> 01:24:34,355 How can I compete? 1143 01:24:34,755 --> 01:24:37,355 Who else is going to want me? I'm 46 years old. 1144 01:24:37,655 --> 01:24:39,355 I'd have to start from scratch. 1145 01:24:39,755 --> 01:24:42,055 I know just how you feel. 1146 01:24:43,955 --> 01:24:45,555 Oh, Aaron... 1147 01:24:49,955 --> 01:24:51,655 Grow from love. 1148 01:24:56,555 --> 01:24:58,555 Annie McDuggan FIRST WIVES CLUB 1149 01:24:58,755 --> 01:25:03,155 I don't hate you. I wish I could. But you're still kind of cute - 1150 01:25:03,555 --> 01:25:07,955 - for a overbearing, cradle-robbing Spandex-sucking criminal. 1151 01:25:08,355 --> 01:25:10,155 So, I'm not going to take all your money. 1152 01:25:10,455 --> 01:25:12,055 Don't misunderstand. I'm going to take plenty. 1153 01:25:12,355 --> 01:25:16,555 And I'm going to hang onto these because I have a favor to ask. 1154 01:25:16,955 --> 01:25:19,055 Be there in two hours! 1155 01:25:19,355 --> 01:25:22,155 While we were married, I helped you. 1156 01:25:22,455 --> 01:25:24,455 Now it's your turn to help others. 1157 01:25:24,755 --> 01:25:26,655 - Where are you going? - To see Barbara Walters. 1158 01:25:26,955 --> 01:25:29,555 - Oh, my God! - Scared? 1159 01:25:29,955 --> 01:25:31,455 You won't talk about this, will you? 1160 01:25:31,855 --> 01:25:33,955 That depends on you. 1161 01:25:34,255 --> 01:25:37,555 Be there at that address in two hours, babe! 1162 01:25:39,355 --> 01:25:41,755 What Brenda meant by thinking globally- 1163 01:25:42,055 --> 01:25:45,655 - was that it wasn't enough to make our ex-husbands suffer. 1164 01:25:46,055 --> 01:25:49,055 To do the truly charitable, unselfish thing - 1165 01:25:49,355 --> 01:25:52,055 - we'd have to make them suffer over and over again. 1166 01:25:52,355 --> 01:25:54,355 - So, what are you guys in for? - Gentlemen! 1167 01:25:54,755 --> 01:25:57,155 And Daddy. 1168 01:26:06,855 --> 01:26:11,955 Honey...what's going on? I can't handle more surprises today. 1169 01:26:15,855 --> 01:26:17,755 Oh, Daddy... 1170 01:26:18,155 --> 01:26:21,155 I'm a lesbian... 1171 01:26:21,455 --> 01:26:23,555 A big one. 1172 01:26:27,655 --> 01:26:30,955 Gentlemen, we've brought you here today for a specific reason. 1173 01:26:31,255 --> 01:26:34,655 This is not about retaliation or negotiation - 1174 01:26:35,055 --> 01:26:38,455 - and this is not about men versus women. 1175 01:26:38,855 --> 01:26:41,955 What is it then? I'm sick of this, OK. 1176 01:26:42,355 --> 01:26:45,855 - Please don't make her mad. - No, no, this is not a revenge thing. 1177 01:26:46,255 --> 01:26:48,255 This is about justice. 1178 01:26:48,655 --> 01:26:51,355 Halfway through this operation we realized - 1179 01:26:51,755 --> 01:26:55,355 - the only people who'd be helped by revenge would be us. 1180 01:26:55,655 --> 01:26:58,855 - We'd be no better than you. - Happier but no better. 1181 01:26:59,255 --> 01:27:02,355 Exhilarated but no better! Ecstatic but no better! 1182 01:27:02,755 --> 01:27:03,955 So we thought again. 1183 01:27:04,255 --> 01:27:07,055 A very dear friend of ours died from neglect. 1184 01:27:07,355 --> 01:27:10,355 You're going to help us make sure that never happens again. 1185 01:27:10,755 --> 01:27:12,955 - Like hell we are. - Can't make us. 1186 01:27:13,255 --> 01:27:16,455 No... but Vito can. Joey can. 1187 01:27:16,755 --> 01:27:19,055 And Uncle Carmine can. 1188 01:27:27,755 --> 01:27:30,155 - What do we have to do? - You have to pay. 1189 01:30:01,855 --> 01:30:04,455 The funny thing was when we finally had our ex's just where we wanted - 1190 01:30:04,755 --> 01:30:07,255 - revenge didn't seem so important. 1191 01:30:07,555 --> 01:30:10,755 So, we came up with something better. 1192 01:30:15,355 --> 01:30:19,455 It's an important day here in New York City for all women - 1193 01:30:19,855 --> 01:30:24,355 - at the opening of the Cynthia Griffin Crisis Center for Women. 1194 01:30:24,755 --> 01:30:29,155 It's an amazing facility and I'm here talking to three amazing women. 1195 01:30:29,555 --> 01:30:31,855 Please tell me about your facility. 1196 01:30:32,155 --> 01:30:36,855 This center is dedicated in memory to our very dear friend Cynthia Swann. 1197 01:30:37,255 --> 01:30:39,855 We plan on offering counseling - 1198 01:30:40,255 --> 01:30:44,155 - family therapy and, of course, abuse intervention for all. 1199 01:30:44,455 --> 01:30:47,055 So many women are in need here in Manhattan. 1200 01:30:47,455 --> 01:30:51,855 Can I ask whether it's true that the idea for this center started because - 1201 01:30:52,255 --> 01:30:55,555 - each of you had a husband that left you for a younger woman? 1202 01:30:55,955 --> 01:30:57,255 Yes, yes. 1203 01:30:57,655 --> 01:31:00,555 They really are amazing women. Good for you! 1204 01:31:00,855 --> 01:31:04,855 Congratulations for all the great work. New York thanks you. 1205 01:31:13,255 --> 01:31:16,955 I'm asking you as a favor. Come in for one minute with me. 1206 01:31:17,955 --> 01:31:20,455 - We have to talk about the wedding. - What are you talking about? 1207 01:31:20,755 --> 01:31:22,455 - You won't even set a date. - Exactly. 1208 01:31:22,755 --> 01:31:25,555 Because this isn't working. I am not feeling special. 1209 01:31:25,855 --> 01:31:29,655 I am not feeling loved. And now this place. 1210 01:31:30,055 --> 01:31:32,855 Morty, I am not Brenda. 1211 01:31:34,155 --> 01:31:37,055 - No, you're not! - Duh! 1212 01:32:06,455 --> 01:32:07,555 Ivana... 1213 01:32:08,655 --> 01:32:11,155 I want to thank you for coming so much. 1214 01:32:11,455 --> 01:32:13,155 - You're an angel. - Of course, Elise. 1215 01:32:13,455 --> 01:32:14,855 Thank you so much again. 1216 01:32:15,155 --> 01:32:17,355 Ladies, you have to be strong and independent. 1217 01:32:17,655 --> 01:32:19,455 - And remember? - What? 1218 01:32:19,655 --> 01:32:22,155 Don't get mad. Get everything! 1219 01:32:26,855 --> 01:32:28,855 - Mrs. Goldberg? - Yes. 1220 01:32:29,155 --> 01:32:31,755 Carmine Morelli... Brenda's uncle. 1221 01:32:32,855 --> 01:32:36,055 - Yes, of course. - Nice to meet you. 1222 01:32:45,355 --> 01:32:49,455 What a wonderful occasion! Helping people through a buffet! 1223 01:32:49,855 --> 01:32:52,155 - Mom, it's a great party. - Thank you, sweetie. 1224 01:32:52,455 --> 01:32:57,155 You know, Annie, this place is terrific. 1225 01:32:57,555 --> 01:33:01,355 I think you did the right thing, divorcing Aaron. 1226 01:33:01,755 --> 01:33:03,655 I salute you. 1227 01:33:03,955 --> 01:33:05,355 I have something to add. 1228 01:33:05,555 --> 01:33:09,755 Annie, you're not getting any younger. Or thinner. 1229 01:33:10,255 --> 01:33:13,855 - You know what I think you need? - No. 1230 01:33:14,255 --> 01:33:16,155 Absolutely nothing! 1231 01:33:18,555 --> 01:33:22,555 Baby... Sweetheart! 1232 01:33:30,355 --> 01:33:32,955 Come on, Jason. Just one time around the floor. 1233 01:33:33,355 --> 01:33:36,855 - Come on. Get real. - I'm your mother. I command you. 1234 01:33:37,155 --> 01:33:39,855 You gotta have something to tell your shrink. 1235 01:33:43,755 --> 01:33:46,455 Look at this. Isn't this fantastic? I'm so proud. 1236 01:33:46,755 --> 01:33:48,055 - Hi, kids. - Hi, Morty. 1237 01:33:48,355 --> 01:33:51,455 Dad, save me. She's trying to dance with me. 1238 01:33:51,755 --> 01:33:53,155 Leave him alone. He's a good kid. 1239 01:33:53,455 --> 01:33:56,155 - I know that. - Not like his Dad. 1240 01:33:56,455 --> 01:33:59,655 - What? - I'm getting out of the line of fire. 1241 01:34:05,355 --> 01:34:07,955 - You look good, Bren. - You too. 1242 01:34:08,255 --> 01:34:10,555 - Thank you. - Where's Shel? 1243 01:34:10,855 --> 01:34:13,355 - In the car. - Glove compartment? 1244 01:34:14,355 --> 01:34:16,055 Trunk. 1245 01:34:18,255 --> 01:34:20,055 Let me ask you a question. 1246 01:34:20,355 --> 01:34:21,655 Was I this old when we were married? 1247 01:34:22,055 --> 01:34:25,055 Yes. But I liked you this old. 1248 01:34:25,355 --> 01:34:27,055 Me too. 1249 01:34:45,055 --> 01:34:47,055 - Wanna? - Sure. 1250 01:34:52,655 --> 01:34:57,655 It was clear that Brenda and Morty were headed for a reconciliation. 1251 01:34:58,055 --> 01:35:00,655 Elise was dating an actor in her hit play. 1252 01:35:01,055 --> 01:35:04,355 As for me, Aaron and Dr. Rosen split up. 1253 01:35:04,655 --> 01:35:07,555 He wants to come home again and he feels emotionally ready- 1254 01:35:07,955 --> 01:35:12,055 - to recommit to an equitable and caring relationship. 1255 01:35:12,455 --> 01:35:14,755 I told him to drop dead. 1256 01:35:23,755 --> 01:35:27,255 - Excuse me, got a light? - Sure. 1257 01:35:27,655 --> 01:35:31,655 - Nice car. Used to have one myself. - Thanks. 1258 01:35:31,955 --> 01:35:35,755 So, what's going on in there? Is it just lot of battered women dancing? 1259 01:35:36,255 --> 01:35:38,655 Yeah, sort of. Not really my scene. 1260 01:35:38,955 --> 01:35:40,655 Me, neither. 1261 01:35:42,255 --> 01:35:44,255 So, you here with anybody? 1262 01:35:45,655 --> 01:35:49,255 - Not really. - How old are you? 1263 01:35:51,955 --> 01:35:55,655 Look at this place. It's just a total mess. 1264 01:35:56,055 --> 01:35:59,855 - But a gorgeous mess. - You know, I can't believe it. 1265 01:36:00,255 --> 01:36:04,555 We actually did it. We accomplished it together. 1266 01:36:04,955 --> 01:36:07,055 I know. We did it. 1267 01:36:07,355 --> 01:36:10,755 Oh, God, I wish Cynthia was here. 1268 01:36:11,055 --> 01:36:13,555 She is... She is in a way. 1269 01:36:15,855 --> 01:36:19,155 OK, we're 1990s women. What is it we really, really need? 1270 01:36:19,655 --> 01:36:22,955 - You are never going to change. - And I hope not. 1271 01:36:23,255 --> 01:36:26,155 I hope we never change and we always stay the same... 1272 01:36:26,555 --> 01:36:28,555 Tired and happy. 1273 01:36:28,855 --> 01:36:31,855 - Maybe a little bit brave. - Brave? 1274 01:36:32,155 --> 01:36:35,155 - You mean, "brave". - What do you mean? 1275 01:36:37,755 --> 01:36:40,155 - You don't own me -You're not funny! 1276 01:36:40,555 --> 01:36:41,955 No way. I'm out. 1277 01:36:43,055 --> 01:36:45,655 Stop it! No, I'm not gonna... 1278 01:36:46,055 --> 01:36:48,955 - You don't own me - Leave me alone. 1279 01:36:49,255 --> 01:36:52,655 Don't say I can't go with other boys 1280 01:36:59,055 --> 01:37:02,055 And don't tell me what to do 1281 01:37:02,455 --> 01:37:04,855 And don't tell me what to say 1282 01:37:05,155 --> 01:37:07,855 And when I go out with you 1283 01:37:08,255 --> 01:37:10,455 Don't put me on display 1284 01:37:10,755 --> 01:37:13,255 - Pretty good! - You remembered! 1285 01:37:13,555 --> 01:37:18,555 You don't own me! Don't try to change me in any way 1286 01:37:18,955 --> 01:37:21,355 You don't own me 1287 01:37:21,655 --> 01:37:24,655 Don't tie me down 'cause I'll never stay 1288 01:37:26,255 --> 01:37:28,855 I don't tell you what to say 1289 01:37:29,255 --> 01:37:31,755 I don't tell you what to do 1290 01:37:32,055 --> 01:37:34,755 So just let me be myself 1291 01:37:35,055 --> 01:37:37,455 That's all I ask of you 1292 01:37:37,755 --> 01:37:40,155 I'm young and I love to be young 1293 01:37:40,555 --> 01:37:43,055 I'm free and I love to be free 1294 01:37:43,355 --> 01:37:45,855 To live my life the way that I want 1295 01:37:46,255 --> 01:37:48,755 To say and do whatever I please 104589