All language subtitles for Elviras Movie Macabre Scared To Death-01

Greetings, children of the corny. You've
reached the tomb where doom and gloom

meet ba -ba -boom, Elvira's movie
macabre. And happy Halloween!

Tonight's show is just busting out of
its little black dress with tricks and

treats from the mistress of the dark.

Me, Elvira. It's a registered trademark.
Look it up.

Tonight, we're pairing a film that
promises to scare you to death with my

Halloween ball. And you're all invited.

As long as you're willing to lend a
hand.

Well, guess I stepped right in that one.

Oh, great.

What's next?

Uh -oh. I wonder who that could be. I
mean, my guest shouldn't be here for

another hour.

Uh, come on down.

Whoa.

My shoe delivery?

Look at the size of that package.

Gosh, be careful. You could hurt
somebody with that thing.

Although there are worse ways to go.

I'm just thinking of all the things
brown can do for me.

Gee, I wonder what's inside.

Smells like Madagascar vanilla, organic
manure, and she -demon.

Oh, now I remember. It's Martha Stewart.

I had dropped her line asking her for
help on my party.

Martha?

Martha, are you there?

Martha?

Uh -oh, I hope they made enough air
holes.

You see, when I asked Martha to join me,
she didn't exactly say yes, so I just,

well, okay, I had her knocked out and
shipped via parcel post.

You know, Martha by mail.

Uh, well, darling, while we wait for the
sedatives to wear off, why don't we

start our feature presentation?

Tonight's movie is a film I have always
wanted to see.

Scared to death, starring the one, the
only, Bela Nicosi.

I'm just getting goosebumps thinking
about it.

You know, with a title like that, I
mean, it has got to be good.

Let's see what Wikipedia has to say
about it.

This 1947 film stars Dead People
Magazine's sexiest Bachelor of 1911.

Bella Lugosi, and is narrated by some
woman who died of fright.

They're trying to destroy my mind.

Spoilers! And from abroad, who's
literally spoiling who.

Well, before anything else leaks, ew, I
should just roll the film. So get ready

to be scared to death on movie.

Is this the body? Yes, Doctor.

And the police are particularly anxious
that the cause of death be determined at

the earliest possible moment.

It's a pity.

She was a very beautiful woman.

One hates to perform an autopsy on a
beautiful woman.

But you have no other choice, Doctor.

Most unusual.

There are no marks of violence on the
body. What do they suspect? Poison? Have

they any idea? My understanding is,
Doctor, that the authorities are

sea as to how she was killed.

They know why, and they also have the
fellow who killed her. Yes, yes, that

doesn't matter. That's none of our
business. Our business is to find out

killed her.

And yet, one often wonders, what could
have caused

the last thought that was cut off by
death?

Hmm, did I leave the iron on?

What would it be?

If you're here, you've found me alive.

But you know when you kill me, I warn
you.

Don't come and I'll step.

No, don't, please.

Don't.

No, I told you I didn't want the
bandage.

Why, Laura?

Why are you so opposed to the bandage?

Does it remind you of something,
perhaps?

What do you mean?

Oh, nothing, Laura, nothing.

Now, won't you lie down again and let me
complete the examination?

You're a sick girl, you know, in a
highly nervous condition.

I want to know what you meant by saying
the bandage reminded me of something.

If you don't know, how should I?

You don't fool me for a minute, Doctor.

I know how you feel about me. Do you,
Laura? Then I wish you'd tell me, for I

don't know.

I don't know how I feel about you at
all.

You're clever, Doctor.

But I'm wise to you and that fool of a
son of yours.

How long have you been married to Ward
now?

And why don't you give him his divorce?

He's asked you often enough.

I'll give him a divorce when I'm good
and ready.

I see.

I'm not afraid of anything he can do, or
you, or anyone else.

What's that?

Your heart beating like a trip hammer.

I must warn you of this high state of
nervous tension.

What's that noise?

It's only a branch tapping against the
window.

Now, my dear Laura, if you want me to
help you, you must tell me what it is

fear.

I told you I'm not afraid of anything.

I know what's going on here.

Someone's trying to scare me out, but it
won't work, see?

Here I am, and here I'll stay until I
rot.

I'm afraid there's more truth in that
than you suspect.

Laura! I must ask you not to cause
Father any more trouble.

I don't want you threatening him, you
hear?

You too.

You're so cute.

I'm sure you want to be alone.

You're not going to make him pay for my
mistake.

What are you going to do about it?

I'd like to... You'd like to choke me,
wouldn't you, Ward?

Come on, guys.

Save it for the director's cut.

This is the only thing you ever gave me.

You can have it back.

She's right.

I gave her this when we were married.

It's the only gift that'll pass between
us.

Ward, what do you propose to do about
Laura?

What can I do?

She won't leave me. She won't give me a
divorce.

Things can't go on this way, you know.

Dad, what is the matter with her?

What do you think is wrong?

I don't know.

She wasn't this way until she began
getting those letters from abroad, you

remember? Yes, it had something to do
with those letters.

But you would have thought that when
they stopped coming that...

What is it, little bit?

There's a patient, doctor. A Mrs.
Williams.

Williams? That's the name she gave. And
she's decked out like she's going to a

horse show.

I can't see anyone today. Ask her to
make another appointment.

Dad, please don't let what's happening
interfere with your practice.

Oh, very well. Send her in in a few
minutes.

Sure, doctor. Oh, yeah. That Bill
Raymond's waiting. Do you want to see

Who's he?

That private cop who's always hanging
around just hoping somebody gets

Oh, yes. He's probably come for his
check.

Take care of it, will you, Ward?

Yes.

A little bit.

Yes. This for you.

Gee.

Thanks, Mr. Warren.

But this belongs to Mrs. Vanney, doesn't
it? Not anymore.

It's all yours.

She won't get sore, will she?

I don't want to have any trouble with
her. You know how she is. I know. We all

know a little bit.

And I want to thank you for your
patience.

Run along now, Lillibeth.

Yes, Doctor.

You made a fatal mistake, my boy, in
marrying Laura.

Yes, I know.

But you don't suppose I'm going to stand
for it forever, do you?

No, I don't.

And I don't think it will be necessary.

Do you have a plan?

I think it will be better if you leave
everything to me.

From the day a mysterious caller came to
see Dr. Benny...

Oh, yes, I remember now, Mrs. Williams.
I spoke

to you this morning on the telephone.

I'm sorry, but I can't tell you any more
now than I told you then.

Oh, naturally, Doctor.

I did not mean to imply that there were
any abnormal goings -on here.

I assure you that is not, Mrs. Williams,
nor will that be.

Nevertheless, Doctor, the way you were
described to me and the way your place

was described to me, I am certain that I
am in the right place.

May I ask from whom you obtained these
descriptions?

From a friend, Doctor. A mutual friend.

Well, wait a minute.

The woman I love.

Can't we be friends?

Stop tracking your big, flat feet after
me wherever I go. I've got things to do.

Oh, gee, it's wonderful just to see you
around, busying yourself, the little

housewife. I never knew the cop who
didn't love to stand around and watch

people work.

Mrs. Williams, it's obvious from your
conversation that you've come into

possession of certain facts concerning
my past.

I know of only one person who could have
given you that information.

And it was my belief, yes, and even my
hope, that that person was dead.

But let me say that even if that person
were alive, I should not submit to

blackmail from you or from anyone else.

You show great courage, Doctor, for one
in your unusual position.

There has been no question of blackmail.

I came here seeking your cooperation.

which you have refused to give.

So, let us call the matter closed.

Thank you.

Yeah, never trust a woman wearing that
many guns.

Then came

this sinister

pair.

Wow, that actress isn't even dead yet,
and she's already acting like a complete

stiff.

Speaking of which, Catherine's just
waking up.

Oh, what's going on? The last thing I
remember was Rachel Ray handing me a

cupcake. Martha, it's me, Elvira, your
twisted sister.

We pledged that the same sorority ate a
lot of pie. You would not believe the

tricks she can do with a rolling pin and
a ping pong ball.

Get out of here, Elvira. All right. Hey,
don't get your panties in the bun,

sister. I'll tell everyone what to bury
in your cabbage patch.

You wouldn't dare.

Martha, look. I just need a little
guidance from a Halloween ball, and no

has those balls like you.

Elvira!

Let's just take a little break while I
try to keep a lid on this situation.

We'll be back with more Halloween
hijinks right after this.

Elvira, just let me out. I'll behave.

I don't do well in confined spaces.

Yeah, right.

Look, I already learned my lesson with
Tim Gunn. He promised he'd show me how

make it work if I let him stretch his
legs. Then he just took off like a

bat out of hell.

Oh, hey, don't you know it ain't nice to
creep up on a gal?

Especially one in the middle of a
hostage situation.

You're a sick girl, you know.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

I'll take two pills and call you in the
morning.

Well... You're back on the scene with
the Queen of Halloween and have I got

tips for you.

Halloween tips, that is, on how to pick
your best pumpkins ever.

Now, I always like to get a pair of
pumpkins because, as you know,

better in pairs.

Isn't that right, Martha?

Right. Right.

That's better.

So, for the perkiest pair of pumpkins, I
recommend passing by the pumpkin patch

and picking them yourself.

Now, who wouldn't like to be greeted by
a giant pair of these?

Of course, size always matters when it
comes to pumpkins.

And a few other things.

But having a pair that matches is
important, too. You don't want one big

one puny old little shriveled up one, do
you? Of course not.

Everyone wants them big and firm. But
hauling these babies around all day can

cause back strain.

That's why I invented this.

L -Virus Handy Dandy Over -the -Shoulder
Pumpkin Holder.

It's just perfect for carting around
those big beauties. It not only lifts,

separates.

What?

My little guardian of the doorbell.

If you had waited another second, Indigo
and I should have kicked the door in.

Yes, sir.

Sir?

There is an air of inquiry about you
that immediately offends my deepest

There is something suggesting Scotland
Yard, the French Sûreté, the Italian

Carabinieri, the Turkish Polizai.

and other minions of the law.

In short, sir, I think you're a cop.

Yeah, how'd you know?

I believe I'm in the home of Dr. Joseph
Van E.

Yes, sir.

I mean, sirs.

Oh, do not be polite to Inigo.

He's only offended by it.

Run along, Inigo.

Make yourself at home.

We've got a nice tree in the yard,
but... It ain't got no coconut.

My

little friend

Inigo is deaf and dumb. He cannot hear,
and he cannot speak.

But he reads the lips, and I would
advise you to say nothing to annoy him.

His temper is short, indeed.

I presume, is Dr. Vanee's private
office.

Yes, sir. But I really should announce
you.

My dear girl,

if I allowed myself to be announced, I
doubt I would be received anywhere.

I'm sorry. Really, I am. But the doctor
won't see anybody without an

appointment. Appointment?

I have had an appointment with him these
20 years.

20 years?

Whoa, your insurance must be as bad as
mine.

My dear doctor, truthfully can it be
said that your house is your castle,

protected by your countless slaves?

So it is you, Leonide.

I was warned you might appear like one
of your own illusions out of nowhere.

My dear Joseph, you have not changed a
bit.

Have you met my friend, Mr.

Raymond?

Raymond?

Oh, Raymond.

No doubt a relative of the great
magician of the same name.

Mr. Raymond is our private patrol
officer.

He keeps an eye on the premises for us.

And other comings and goings.

A very good idea, my dear Joseph.

To have a private bodyguard at your beck
and call.

Well, you fellas are old friends. I can
see that.

Oh, yes.

Old friends. Friends.

Well, then maybe you'd like to be alone
to talk over old times.

A very good suggestion.

Thank you, Mr. Raymond.

I won't be far away, Doc.

Well, so long, Mr. Leonide.

Don't pull any more little men out of
your hat.

Well, Leonide, what brings you to me
after all this time?

The long arm of coincidence, my dear
Joseph.

Simply the long arm of coincidence.

Aren't you glad to see me again?

No, I can't say that I am.

You with your foreign background and I,
what are we two in common?

Always truthful, Cousin Joseph.

As when we were young men.

You might have said no and saved your
career.

But you prefer to tell the truth and
ruin yourself.

What do you want here, Leonid?

A few days' hospitality, my dear Joseph.

Nothing more.

Is that too much for one cousin to ask
of another?

Remember, we agreed not to think of each
other as cousins again, Leonide.

Bye, go on, my dear Joseph.

Am I willing to forget?

And I suggest that you do the same.

You've grown older, Leonide, but there
may be something in what you say.

I'm not one to hold a grudge.

But don't do anything that will make me
regret my action.

You have my promise.

Now, if you will go into my room.

Oh, I should say, I have a traveling
companion from whom I am

inseparable. Who?

Inigo, a dwarf, one of the little men.

He became very much attached to me when
he lost his master.

You do not object.

What good would that do?

How true.

Very well.

You may have the room next to my
daughter -in -law.

I know you'll like that.

Oh, yes.

The lady who I'm told has an utmost
horror of having her eyes blindfolded.

A phobia of most interesting origin, I
dare say.

Something to think about.

That night, my husband questioned
Leonard about my past.

Cousin Leo.

Oh.

My dear word.

How flattering that you remember me. How
could I ever forget you? What are you

doing here? A chance to visit my boy.

I wanted to see the old homestead again.

You've seen father?

Yes, and he received me with open arms.

In a manner of speaking.

I don't mind telling you, you came at a
very bad time.

We're, uh, we're having some trouble.

My boy, trouble and I are like this.

I presume you refer to the charming lady
in the room next to mine, your wife, I

believe. Yes, Laura, I have met her.

But I'm looking forward to the pleasure.

I'd like to talk to you for a moment.

All right.

Perhaps you can help us.

By doing what, my boy?

You've been everywhere.

You were caught in Europe during the
war.

I'd like to show you something.

You may be just the person I'm looking
for. If I can be of any service.

Did you ever hear of a dance team called
René and Lorette?

I don't think so, my boy.

And then again, it must have been such a
team. Look.

René and Lorette.

The dance of the green mask in the green
room in Paris.

Green room?

Yes?

Oh, the face of the man, that seems
slightly familiar.

May I ask, where have you got this
photograph?

I, uh, the maid, Lillipets, found it in
Laura's room and turned it over to me.

Oh, my boy, I'm afraid I can't help you.

I played a green room on several
occasions, but never with these people.

fact, I don't seem to remember them at
all.

And I appeared in many clubs during the
occupation.

I'm sure the girl behind the green mask
in this picture is Laura.

How can you be sure?

Who can ever be sure what's behind the
mask?

If the people in this photograph could
suddenly come to life.

I'd like to know who the man is.

It can be anyone, my friend.

Anyone.

In this makeup, it might be even I.

I wish you wouldn't joke about it. This
is very serious, of course.

But let us say you found out who the man
in the photograph is.

What then?

I have an idea that if the man in this
picture were to show up, I'd find out I

wasn't married to Laura at all.

Think over what I've asked you.

It'll be to your advantage.

Certainly, my boy.

I will give it every consideration.

And perhaps, something will occur.

Who knows?

Don't you want to leave the photograph
with me for my further study?

It might be the very incentive that my
memory needs.

No thanks, sir. I'll keep it.

As you wish.

Make a bet. The man in green will get
you yet.

A gruesome surprise was in store for me
the following morning.

Can you believe the noise of those
people? I mean, they're going to make us

all night before they murder Lady Blah
Blah.

I haven't heard a dead chick talk so
much trash since the Real Housewives of

Transylvania. I don't know. Maybe I'm
just jaded from my insatiable appetite

monsters and mayhem.

Martha, what do you think?

I can't see anything from here.

Well, consider yourself lucky.

I mean, you just get to sit around in
that crate all day doing nothing while I

slave away on this sofa, forced to watch
this crap.

Let me tell you something, Miss Whiny
Pants. This is no joyride.

It takes a very special person like
myself to do this job.

It can be anyone, my friend.

Anyone.

In this makeup, it might be even I.

Oh, right. I suppose you look great in
this dress, too.

Sorry, folks. You'll have to forgive
Bella.

Must be the smack -talking. I wouldn't
say that to you, lady, even if I knew

what it meant.

Sheesh, some private dick you are. Why,
my audience can figure that out with

their eyes closed, which by now they
probably are.

I do like Bella's little friend Indigo,
though. He may be short, but he is the

only one in this flick who hasn't said
anything dumb yet.

Guess that's one of the benefits of a
non -speaking role.

Well, darling, my guests will be here
soon, and I am so excited about

big party.

But here I... am in the same costume I
wore last year, and the year before

and the year before that, and, well, you
get the picture.

I know, I know, it is incredibly hot and
sexy and all that, but it sure would be

nice if just for once I could switch it
up a little. I mean, you know, wear

something totally different.

Wouldn't hurt if it was a little warmer
for those cold October nights when I'm

out there tramping up and down the
street, uh, trick -or -treating.

And, you know, a tad roomier wouldn't be
bad either.

Hmm. Now what could my new costume be?

Second thought, maybe I should just
stick with the old tried and true.

It's been working out pretty good for me
so far.

We'll be back in a flash with more
Halloween trick -or -treats right after

Hello, darling, and happy Halloween.

You're back with the hottest bear on
television.

No, you crazy horn dog. I'm talking
about me and our very special holiday

hostage, Martha Stewart.

Oh, don't be scared. That's just
Martha's stomach.

Come to think of it, I am feeling a
little peckish myself.

So let's say we slip on her aprons and
whip up some tricked -out treats for our

little soiree. She don't care what
happens to my metabolism.

You're right, I don't. Save the calorie
count for the boring holidays like Yom

Kippur.

First things first, spoils and ghouls.
Every good party begins with a creepy

cocktail. My personal favorite is called
the Succubus Sour.

Now, as the legend goes, it was created
thousands of years ago to appease the

Egyptian vampire goddess Thachmet.

Now, if I can just recall the recipe.

Oh, there it is. Margarita mix.

Yeah, that's right. As you wait for that
to drain, now you just want to grab

your secret ingredient.

Oh, boy.

Fermented succulent nectar, a .k .a. 100
proof tequila.

Any brand will do as long as it's family
size.

Next, just add one drop of love potion
number nine.

What the hell?

You can never have too much love potion
number nine.

Now all that's left is to stir this
through four times.

Fill up my cup.

Mazel tov.

Look at her dancing.

Just take it off.

Let's paint the town.

We'll shut it down.

Let's burn the roof and then we'll do
it. We'll do it. We'll do it, do it, do

it. Oh, how darn. I got a feeling that
tonight's going to be a good night.

Well, a couple of sips of this stuff and
those wallflowers will be pollinating

in no time.

How romantic.

Thanks for sharing, Dr. Ruthless.

Now, while I whip up a batch of my world
-famous ladyfinger cookies, made with

real ladies, you can sip your succubus
sours and catch some more STD.

Ew! I'm talking scared to death.

You know, that Edge of Your Nap thriller
we've been watching?

Looks like this turkey showed up one
holiday too soon.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah, lady fingers.

Whoa. Maybe I was a little too generous
with that love potion number nine. And

even Bobby, the camera guy, started to
look good to me, and he has two heads.

I think.

Quick, somebody just roll tape before
things start to get awkward.

Bobby, come here.

Who is it?

It's me, ma 'am.

What do you want?

The afternoon mail. You wanted to know
when it arrived.

Was there anything for me?

Yes, ma 'am.

Put it under the door.

I can't. It's a package.

What's in it?

I don't know.

It's against postal regulations to open
other people's mail.

That's never stopped you before.

I'd like to know what you mean by that
remark, ma 'am. Oh, shut up and get out.

Don't you want me to help you? No, I
don't. Get out.

It's addressed to you in green ink with
a warning. Look out for the man with the

green mask.

Oh, it's so hard to find good help these
days.

To the restroom, ma 'am. Who done it?
Which way did he go? Get out.

Get out.

I just heard you yell. I was hoping it
was a murder at least.

Get out. I tell you, you have no
business here.

But you don't understand. I'm supposed
to be here. That's what I'm being paid

for. Paid?

Yeah. You see, I'm Bill Raymond, private
cop in this neck of the woods.

I was hoping we'd have a little murder
or something happen around here so as I

could solve it and get my old job back
at Sentinel Homicide.

Nothing personal, of course.

Who told you to say these things to me?

Well, nobody. Nobody said nothing to me.
I was just waiting around outside to

see Dr. Vanney, and I heard you yell.

So you're a friend of that crazy doctor
and his son.

Crazy? I wouldn't exactly say that, ma
'am. The doc's a pretty good egg.

You wouldn't want anyone to say you was
crazy, even if you... You can go back

and tell him I'm not afraid of being
murdered by you or them or anyone else.

No, I don't guess you are, ma 'am.

Still in all, if you was to get
murdered, and I was to find out who done

it'd be kind of a break for me.

Paton, Paton B, please to go show.

I wouldn't say that to you, lady, even
if I knew what it meant.

Now will you get out?

All right, all right, I can take a hint.

Nice little bedroom you've got there.
Get out.

I'll go, I'll go, but don't think I'll
come running next time you yell. I'll

know it's a fake.

I became afraid and my mind started to
crack.

Lilibet, my melancholy baby, where are
you?

Where'd you get that box?

I don't know what you're talking about.

You lying little snoop going through my
things. What did you do with the

picture? Where is it? I didn't see it.

That's the last time you put your hands
on me.

I'll give you one more chance and then
I'll... I told you I don't know where

picture is and I don't know what you're
talking about.

It's been you all the time going through
my things, opening my mail, grabbing on

my door at night.

Now you're blaming me. I've never
touched anything of yours.

You've got my robe on now. Where'd you
get that? I was just trying it on. Mr.

Ward gave it to me. He said you didn't
want it anymore.

I'll tell you when there's something I
don't want.

Heads up.

It's only a dummy.

A dummy?

Where'd you get that thing?

I suppose you're going to tell me you
don't know anything about that either.

Oh, I bet it was in the box. In the box
I brought up for you, that's what.

There were no stamps on it. How did it
get in the mail?

I don't know. The doorbell rang and I
thought it was the mailman.

I opened the door and it was sitting
there on the stoop. You're lying.

No, I'm not. I don't mind telling a lie
now and then, but I'm not lying now,

honest.

Trying to scare me out.

I'm not leaving.

No, but I am. You come here.

You and Mr. Ward are pretty thick,
aren't you?

Thick? Yes, thick like your head.

He's fallen in love with someone else.
Who's she? I don't know. It's not me. I

know it isn't you.

I know all the signs.

He's fallen in love with some simple
face.

Men.

There's always a way to get even with
them.

I've got to find that picture.

Otherwise, they won't know what he looks
like.

I've got to send it to the police.

He won't dare touch me.

Who do you mean, the man in the picture?

Have you seen him? Maybe I have and
maybe I haven't.

Maybe I saw him go behind the thicket.

Or through the wall.

Or under the house.

He's here in the house?

Yes. I let him in.

I let him in.

He was waiting outside to get to you,
Miss LaValle.

Miss LaValle.

There's nothing safe from your prying
eyes, is there?

You think you know everything, don't
you?

I know why you're afraid.

And I know what you've done.

No, I'm not that thick.

I'm not as thick as you think I am, Miss
Lovell.

That head's supposed to be you. Kind of
a calling card. I'll remind you that.

Why, you... Excuse

me, lady.

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid.

Where are you hiding?

Dr. Fanny!

Doc, Doc!

Fun is fun. But after all, there ain't
nothing in my contract that says I

gotta... Well, now I ask, is that
anything to be playing football with?

Where did you get that, Raymond?

Miss Fanny chucked it at me like I was a
pass receiver for a football team.

And I'm all out of practice. Let me see
it.

This comes from a group of anatomical
specimens that was locked in a room in

cellar.

How did you happen to get it?

That's what I'm trying to tell you.
There I was, outside her door, strictly

minding my own business, understand?

Listening at the keyhole. I don't think
that belongs in the realm of your

duties, Raymond.

But, Doc, there were screams inside.

You've got to admit, it's within the
longitude of my profession to make with

investigatory reaction there, too.

What am I saying?

I don't understand how that head got
from its locker room in the cellar.

Well, the way I heard it, it was sent to
Mrs. Vanee.

That was rather a gruesome practical
joke.

Why, your anatomical locker hasn't been
open for ages.

I think you once told me you'd lost the
only key to it. I know.

There is no key to my knowledge.

Why, that thing didn't walk out of the
room by itself.

Hardly.

Doc, I'm worried.

What about, Raymond?

Well, now, take this head business. The
whole thing don't seem hardly serious to

me. I think that... If it's all the same
to you, I'd better be checking along to

other duties.

You're not afraid, are you, Raymond?

Who, me?

Scared?

It's just that I don't think that
there's going to be any murder here done

all. Not too bad.

Well, it's not your fault, I guess.

It's just not my lucky day, that's all.

Thank you, little man.

Oh, Miss Lilibet, have you a little more
coffee in the kitchen?

What happened to the three gallons I
already gave you today?

Lilibet, what you need is a good,
strong, steady man.

Who is always hanging around, tracking
up my floors and things.

What's that on your shoe?

Looks like cobwebs from out of the
cellar.

What were you doing in the basement?

It could have been the attic.

Bill Raymond, you're holding out on me.

What are you up to?

Up to?

Yes. Who asked you to go poking around
in the cellar?

It was in performance of my duty.

What duty?

What did you find?

Absolutely nothing.

That's what makes me so disgusted.

Too bad about you.

You know, Lily Beth, I think somebody
around here is just kidding.

They don't mean business at all.

Why don't you just wait around and see?

Say, if you've got any inside dope, I
wish you'd tip me off.

I'm never going to get back to Central
and prove I'm a good detective. I've got

to have some clues.

Why, hello again, you kooky creature of
the night.

It's Elvira, the happy Halloween
homemaker, with a tray full of treats.

Something to think about.

Yeah, anyway, have you ever wanted to
give someone the finger?

Or perhaps even an entire group of
people? Say, like the cast of a movie

makes zero sense?

Well, now you can.

Don't these look delish? I came up with
the recipe myself.

Oh, no, you did not order from my
magazine.

Thanks, Martha. I hope you feel better
now.

Well, while I give my dainty detainee a
snack over here, we're going to take a

short break to pay some bills.

Hmm, let's see. There's bill my bookie
and bill my shrink and... Oh, yeah, bill

my Brazilian waxer.

Bill my trainer.

Mmm, these are good.

And I swear on my grandmother's grave,
bigger than a baby's arm. Oh,

hold that thought.

Welcome back, darling.

And if you've just been tuning in, we've
been multitasking tonight at Movie

Macabre in preparation for our big
Halloween bash. We have Martha Stewart

house, or more specifically in the
crate.

And now it's my perverse pleasure to
introduce you to Charlie, fashion

of the dark.

I'm thrilled to be here, Elvira.

Charlie and I go way back. I mean, we
met at Rosemary's baby shower, and he's

been giving me indispensable fashion
advice ever since.

Don't change a thing.

And I haven't.

That's why I love him. Charlie was kind
enough to stop by and give us some last

-minute costume advice.

That's right.

You know, you don't have to spend a
fortune, know how to work a sewing

or rob a grave to get some of these fun
Halloween looks.

Well, there are my plans.

You know, I have two very special
visitors here who are going to be our

tonight. Models? Really? Where are they?

Are they young? Are they cute?

Yes. And in fact, they're adorable.

Oh, I can't wait.

Yeah.

Adorable.

Well,

Elvira, these are the children from
Jefferson Elementary?

They won that contest to be on the show?

Oh, yeah, right.

Sorry. I love kids.

Now, why don't you two cuties tell us
what you're dressed up as?

I'm a magician.

And I'm a princess.

Oh, that's just great, kids, for an
Easter parade.

But this is Halloween.

Blood and gore, remember?

Maybe I have something here in my trunk
and we can salvage this mess.

Oh, um, it's all right. Okay, let's see.

Here's a scalpel. Get rid of the
scalpel.

Uh, all right.

Okay.

There you go.

Now, that's much, much better. Okay,
see, you are Jack the Ripper, and you're

Carrie at the prom, right before I throw
this bucket of pig's blood on you. Oh,

Vyra, I think they get the idea. All
right, kids, come on.

Come on.

Yeah, of course, right.

But I cannot emphasize enough, and I'm
sure Martha would back me up on this,

have to go for the real pig's blood. I
mean, otherwise the whole thing just

comes off totally cheap. Right, Martha?

That was the most thick.

Twisted, vile display of the Friday I've
ever seen.

Thanks. And if you're still stuck for
costume ideas, maybe tonight's movie

get your creative juices flowing.

Let's see, there's a maid, a detective.

Oh, yeah, and a corpse will talk your
ear off. And if all else fails, there's

always this.

Oh, run for your lives. It's the attack
of the paper mache mask.

Grown. I mean, we can only hope things
have gotten a little chillier at...

Scared to death, Manchin.

Yes,

I was scared.

Scared of my life.

I expected big things of that ghoulish
-looking guy, but he ain't delivered

neither.

I should say, in a way, you were
entitled to expect big things from him.

Leo was once confined in this house when
it was an institution for the insane.

Nerds. You know.

Do tell.

Well, then, he must know his way around
the place, huh?

I understand why he was here. He
engineered an immense number of secret

through which the guards could keep an
eye on the inmates at night.

Finally, he took one of these passages
into the outside world, and we heard

later he'd been seen in Europe.

Ah, Europe.

That's where history is being made
today.

Gee, I'd love to travel and... Well,
perhaps you'll have an opportunity

Not if something don't happen around
here pretty soon to make me famous.

That Lily Beth.

I've been trying to get a cup of coffee
off of her all day.

She don't care what happens to my
metabolism.

Metabolism.

That's a good word.

I wonder what it means.

Operator. I run the police right away.

Stop crowding me.

But, hon, don't you want me around to
protect you? That indigo guy might...

but who's going to protect me from you?

Lily Pat.

My wild Irish rose.

I just live for the day when I can take
you out of all this.

When I can slave and get you the
luxuries in life.

Gee, I'd gladly work my fingers to the
bone to buy you expensive motor cars and

furs and jewels and things and throw you
breakfast in bed.

What's the matter with me?

Am I crazy?

Yes. Oh, you can say that again.

You got me all those things.

Yeah, you might get a little blue in the
face.

Still in all, all I got to do is to find
myself one slightly murdered body, and

I'm in.

Stop looking at me.

Oh, Lilybeth, sometimes I think I'm not
getting anywhere with you. What do you

think? I think you've got a good idea
there.

All right, all right.

You'll be sorry someday when you see my
picture in the paper.

Wait and see.

Hey, Lilybeth, why don't you answer the
doorbell?

Maybe that Indigo guy wants in.

The doctor ain't home.

You'll have to call some other time.

Don't be silly.

Don't say I didn't tell you.

Close the door on your way out.

Hey, wait a minute.

Well, if it isn't Bull Raymond.

Shh, Terry.

Trying to ruin me?

Ruin him. Come here, Paul.

Meet Miss Cornell.

How do you do? I'm sure.

Likewise. How do you happen to be out
with him?

Cute, darling, don't you think?

Flat at both ends, head and feet. You've
heard me speak of him.

Paul Raymond.

Bill Raymond, if you please. Mr. Terry
Lee, who's so -called reporter.

How do you happen to be out with a dish
like this?

Jane Cornell.

Good for dull days in a man's life.

Terry told me about the time you shot up
the dressmaker's dummy.

Huh? Yeah. He said you closed in on what
you thought was the murderer, but it

turned out to be the dressmaker's dummy,
and you shot it full of holes while the

real murderer got away.

My pal.

So this is where you've been hiding
after they kicked you out for that

huh? Bull Bill, I mean.

What are you doing here?

Can't a man rehabilitate himself in
peace?

Here I come, looking for an honest crime
around here so I can solve it and get

myself back to Central. And you come
along and... Where's the body bowl,

There ain't no body. That's the trouble.

Now, now, let's keep it friendly.

Friendly? What do you mean?

Let's have it. Who killed who and why?

Are you kidding?

Did somebody get knocked off around
here?

Look, I don't like to be kidded either.
Where is it hidden, Sherlock?

Oh, Terry, you've been on the police
beat so long that... Now listen, Bill,

know me well enough to know I wouldn't
come out here just for the ride.

Not when I could be, um... It just so
happened that there was a call to the

police. Came from out here.

And I happened to be there when it came
through.

Miss Cornell happens to be the operator.

So she tipped me off.

Told me the line had gone dead.

So I smelled the story, and here I am
for an exclusive. You see what I mean?

What's in that?

Well, that's the doctor's consulting
room, but there ain't nobody in there.

been standing here for quite a spell.

Open it up. Let's take a look.

That's funny. The lights in here ain't
almost never round.

In you go.

Never do that. I could get killed that
way.

Is that bad?

Oh, so nothing's happened around here,
huh?

What?

There, see?

Like I said, there ain't nobody here.

Hey, cut it out, will you? You're making
me dizzy.

Well, sure, somebody stumbled over it
and pulled it out of the wall.

Could happen anywhere.

Oh, help!

Wants to shake hands with you, Bill?

Step right up.

Not me.

You seen it first.

Doc!

Raymond.

Did you try and kill me?

Why, Doc?

Why should I do that?

You ain't paid me for last month yet.

How long you been here?

Now, let me see.

I was going to make a telephone call
when...

Somebody cocked your hand, Doctor? Then
ripped the telephone wire off?

Yes, I imagine that is about what
happened.

Who are these people?

Well, they're all right, Doc. This is
Terry Lee and Miss Cornell from the

We don't want any reporters here.
Nothing's happened.

Look, Doctor, nobody ever wants
reporters. But then something happens,

they are.

But nothing has happened.

I fell and hurt my head.

Oh, I see. Then you got up again, put
yourself on the table, and got all nice

and pretty in that shroud there.

You won't get any story here. And now,
if you'll excuse me, I have some work to

do. Doctor, do you mind if we stick
around for a while, seeing that

happened? Well, why not?

Very well. You may stay for a while, but
I warn you, if you make yourselves

objectionable in any way, I'll have
Raymond throw you out.

Well, come on. You heard what the doctor
said. He's busy.

Get out of the office.

Probably a pretty nice guy, caught in a
tough spot. That's the way I see it.

You wouldn't want me to tell him you got
kicked out of Homicide, would you,

Bill, old boy?

Oh, Terry, you're my pal. You know that,
don't you?

Would I kick you out? You would if you
could, Bill.

Now, why can't we have a little talk,
quietly?

Well, if you'd just follow me in the
parlor over here.

Oh, me too, darling, me too.

Darling knows everything about everyone,
and that's how I learned.

I just did a defeating lesson.

Yeah?

Baby, I'm going to miss you an awful lot
when I grow tired of you. Now,

remember, you're just going to listen.
Well, of course, darling. What else do I

do when I'm with you?

Sit down.

Now, as I remember it, there was a
singer at the Click Club who called

Laura LaValle.

Didn't she marry young Ward Vanney a
couple of years ago?

Uh, I don't know nothing about it.

Oh, yes, you do.

It was just about the same time that you
had that affair with the dressmaker's

dummy.

Oh, uh, oh, yeah. Yeah, now I remember,
Terry.

You're right, you're right.

She was down at the Click Club, and it
was her that married Ward.

Wasn't that on a bet of some kind?

Well, there was a party going on, and
somebody dared Ward to ask the singer to

marry him, and he thought at the time it
was a good gag, and he went along with

it. That's right.

He got pretty high and then popped the
question at her.

How romantic.

I just love that.

Hush, dear.

L -I -L -T -E -N.

Oh.

Well, that's how it happened anyway.

Ward woke up the next morning and found
himself married solid.

He'd asked her and she'd snapped him up.
Oh, and they lived snappily ever after.

I don't care. I think it was sweet.

Darling, couldn't I get you high
sometime?

Sweetheart, have you ever heard the old
saying about little girls?

What's that?

Little girls should be seen and not
heard. Now go on, pout of your nose.

Hey, Chippin' Diphead, you just gonna
take that?

We're just getting started.

We were talking about a singer who
called herself Laura LaValle and pushed

way into this house for good reasons of
her own.

Gentlemen, I beg your pardon.

I must tell you frankly, I have been
eavesdropping.

Professor Leonide, this is a reunion.

My boy, you must forgive me.

You seem to remember me.

But I do not recollect you.

When was it?

What was it?

Oh, Professor, it was a long time ago
when I was a kid up in the balcony in

Albany. Yes?

When you brought down the house with
great feats of legendary domain. Oh.

You remember, Professor.

That was the night that the box office
receipts disappeared, just like magic.

Part of the act, my boy. Just a part of
the act.

It's a pleasure to meet one of my
youthful admirers.

Terry Lee of the Central City Times.

The press.

Well, it's nice to have known you.

Wait a minute, Professor.

What's your hurry? Are you afraid I
might bring up the subject of those

unfortunate recent connections of yours?

Shut in the dark, my boy, I'm sure.

And I will ignore it.

Of course.

And this young lady, no doubt a
companion of yours.

Jane Cornell, my fiancée.

Delighted. Likewise, I'm sure.

Delightful.

And I would suggest... Did you just see
what he did with his hand? That is

acting.

Mr. Lee.

I haven't had a chance to talk to him
yet, Mrs. Van E. Never mind. I'll tell

myself. Darling, I met her upstairs, and
I told her all about you, and that you

know everything about everyone.

Thank you very much, dear.

Welcome to your living room, Mrs. Van E.
Thank you, but it isn't my living room.

I understand you're not unaware of my
position in this house.

Well, maybe you can tell us about it.

I'm being kept a prisoner here against
my will.

I'm alone and friendless.

I'm sorry.

Why haven't you called the police?

They've done nothing but to call the
police they have kept me penniless that

can't leave I understand They're trying
to destroy my mind mentally

by innuendo and indirection They're
trying to make me believe I've done

something dreadful in the past going to
be the victim of a horrible bitch You

know best about that. I'm innocent. Mr.
Lee. I've done nothing Now this doctor's

brought some stranger here with these
tricks and illusions to further make me

you mean the professor and his little

You must help me, Mr. Lee.

Laura!

It's so good to see you downstairs again
after all these days being locked in

your room. You know perfectly well why
I've remained locked in my room.

Ward, this is Mr. Lee of the Times, the
gentleman I told you about upstairs.

Oh, yes.

Look here, Mr. Lee. We don't want any
more of that front page splash stuff

as I got when I married Laura.

Your wife's been telling us that she's
being kept here under constant threat.

She is out of her mind.

See what I mean, Mr. Lee?

They don't overlook a single chance to
put it in my head that I'm crazy.

Perhaps I can explain, Mr. Lee.

We don't believe there's anything wrong
with Laura now.

But we are sure something will happen to
her mind if she continues to live under

this strain.

Just as I told you, they're behind it.

Can't I make that clear to you?

They spend all their time trying to
terrify me. They write me letters and

reading. They send me dummy heads
wrapped in green paper. Anything to

me so I can't sleep. I can't think. The
only thought in my head is that I'm

going to be killed.

These are very serious charges,
gentlemen.

And I might say to make a perfect front
page splash.

I believe you could dare print a word
about those ravings of my wife. Don't do

anything to make me think they aren't
ravings, Mr. Verney.

He said to put the blindfold on and you
will know the truth.

No!

What's wrong with her, Doc? Quiet,
Raymond.

You don't mean that she's dead, Raymond.

Oh, hello, darling.

I'm just going over the e -vite
responses for tonight's party on my die

Let's see.

56 yeses. Yay!

28 noes.

Boo.

38 maybes.

Oh, yeah?

Well, maybe you won't get invited to my
party next year.

And 178 waiting for replies.

What the hell are these people waiting
for? Christmas?

The party starts in less than an hour.

One must not expect too much of certain
types of mentality.

Yeah, you're telling me. It's called
basic Halloween party etiquette, people.

Learn some.

Well, I have a feeling that this... Bee
Movie is about to take a detour towards

Freaky Town.

So buckle up, my little misfit. You're
in for the exciting next part of

Scared to Death.

Ew.

Ew.

Ew.

Ew.

Finally,

a black one.

Mmm.

Welcome back to Elvira's Movie Macabre
Halloween Party Edition.

So far, we picked a pair of perfect
pumpkins, cooked up some cocktails, and

scared the bejesus out of some kids.

Now, all that's left is the fun and
games.

No, don't touch me!

No, not that kind of fun and games,
honey.

Well, not yet, anyway.

Of course, you'll want to have a few
parlor games on hand as icebreakers.

Hangman's always a crowd pleaser.

Or, if you're friends with a gambling
type, Russian roulette. I mean, that is

always fun.

Well, for everyone except one person,
anyway.

There are tons of other fun Halloween
games, though, like bobbing for kittens.

I think it'll be better if you leave
everything to me.

Oh, right. You can't even produce a
decent murder in under two hours.

Well, darling, before we go back to the
accidents, here's another good game.

First, you take two regular toothpicks,
then you prop them in your eyes to stay

awake. Uh, careful not to puncture
anything, kids.

Then I knew that he was here.

She's coming out of it. But she's in an
advanced state of shock.

Maybe necessary to administer a
sedative.

Oh, too late.

I'd like to hear her do some more
talking, Doctor.

If her mind is allowed to dwell upon
what's happened, that may be the

point.

Well, you've got all the answers.

Look here, Lee, I don't like your tone.

If you have any insinuations to make,
make them to me.

Okay, I will.

Suppose you and I talk this over
downstairs.

I don't recognize your right to question
me. However, if it'll make you leave

father alone... Bill, fix

yourself a chair right outside the door
and don't leave until I get back.

Sure, sure. But what about Lily, Pat?

Don't she write nothing around here?

Now, Lee, first I'd like to see your
credentials.

You're busting here saying you're a
reporter.

That'd be all turn -the -table gig,
Manny, but if it'll make you any

take a look.

All right, you're a reporter.

But I still don't understand how you and
the young lady got the news about our

troubles.

Do you really believe that story, Lee?

Do you in your right senses really
believe that we are keeping Laura a

here? That's what the lady says. She
said that... Nothing.

Nothing would please me more than if she
got out.

Look, I don't get any of this stuff,
Vanny, but there's a tricky deal going

around here and I intend to fit in on
it.

Too bad I can't flash the city desk to
make ready for a front page replay.

Yes, isn't it?

Either your wife is the victim of a well
-plotted problem of persecution

calculated to drive her insane...

Or she's the witch you say she is.

You're the fellow with the nose for
news.

What does it tell you?

It tells me that right now I'd like to
know where your disappearing relative

And this is that old ritual we call the
hokey pokey.

What's out there? I have a right to
know.

Don't see anything.

What was it?

It isn't possible. It isn't possible. Of
course. What do you see out there, Lee?

I've had enough of this.

Come on.

Are you nervous, Miss Gournay?

Oh, no. I think it's very exciting.

Well, Professor, I thought I just saw
you outside, bang at the moon.

You disturbed her sleep.

Where have you been?

Why don't you start acting normally for
a change? You're bringing suspicion upon

all of us.

I, my boy?

What the way now?

Some more as you tell us.

Has no one arranged to silence you yet,
Mr. Lee?

What a pity.

I don't silence very easy, Professor.

And it'll take a lot more than what
you've done to her.

Do you suggest that I have a hand in
that poor girl's unfortunate demise?

Why don't you behave yourself,
Professor?

Mr. Van E here has the right idea.

You're just gunning up the works.

I did my humble best.

Who are you working for?

What do you expect to get out of it?

I'm discharging a debt, Mr. Lee.

A debt contracted many years ago.

Now, are you any wiser than you were a
moment ago?

No, but I'm beginning to get a general
idea.

By the way, how is that little girl of
yours?

I hope fervently that nothing happened
to her.

She would look so beautiful lying here.

Look, Professor, I may not have been
very smart in bringing Miss Cornell

but if I thought you had any plan to do
that... Why do you persist in making me

the villain, Mr. Lee?

Now we will let you be the witness, Mr.
Lee. I am here.

The sounds came from upstairs.

Right.

Always reliable.

Now what are you rehearsing? In there,
Terry.

In there. It's murder.

All right.

Jenny, Jenny, wake up. Wake up.

Oh, Terry.

Tell me, what happened? Oh, Terry,
darling.

Let me think.

Everything went black in it. Yes? Then
it started to talk.

What started to talk? I don't know. That
thing.

Now, look.

Let's get back to the beginning. I left
you here with Dr. Van E. Yeah, and then

he gave Mrs. Van E a shot with a long
needle.

Never mind that.

All right.

Then he said, would I sit with Mrs. Van
E?

Okay, okay. Where is she now?

Who? Mrs. Van E.

Where did she go?

That's just what I asked you, Janie.
Well, she was right here.

Then Dr. Van E went out. Then what
happened?

Well, oh, then Bill Raymond came in.

Oh, that's great. The two of you in the
same room at the same time. How did you

communicate with each other? Sign
language?

Oh, I don't care.

All you do is make fun of me. I didn't
ask to convince this whatever it is. Oh,

yes, you did, dear.

Don't you remember? You said you wanted
to see what the life of a reporter was

like.

Don't forget, Mr. Lee.

One must not expect too much of certain
types of mentality.

Shut up, Bill Raymond. I remember you
when you couldn't even make a wreck.

We can't go home, darling. We've got to
get a story.

Why?

You don't understand.

Yes, I do. Why do we have to get the
story? Who cares?

She's got you there.

All right.

Now, you tell me. What happened to you?

Me? Well, you said to stay outside the
door, and I pulled up a chair.

That's right. She was inside the door,
and you were outside.

Then come that odor of heavenly perfume.

That wasn't any better.

It was sweet and penetrating, like an
ancient drug.

And I felt kind of sleepy -like. Oh, so
sleepy.

At last, he had me under his power.

Wake up!

What? Huh? What?

What? Oh, yeah.

Scared to death.

More like bored to death.

I did my humble best.

Oh, Bella, then that's kind of pathetic.

I mean, I've had bigger scares reading
the nutritional information on the box

Thin Mints I just bought from the Girl
Scout.

Although they were delicious.

Thin Mints, I mean.

Now let's get back to more scared to
death here on... Yes,

Martha. Can I leave soon?

I can't feel my legs anymore.

So long as your little fingers can
rotate through dough, you're staying

Besides, I need you at the party.

Will I be able to mingle?

Mingle? Of course you will.

I mean, who do you think's serving the
drinks?

Oh,

welcome

back. I've just been putting Santa Claus
out of his misery.

Ha ha!

I'm just kidding.

I'm making a giant ice sculpture bust of
yours, cruelly.

Emphasis on the bust.

Now, of course, Martha is a regular
Michelangelo with a chainsaw. Aren't

Martha?

Martha?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I just escaped!

Pull the drawbridge!

Release the hound! Activate her ankle
bracelet!

Oh, I cannot believe the queen of
entertaining has slept for her life just

minutes before my Halloween party.

She knew how much tonight meant to me,
and yet she chewed through her leather

restraints anyway.

What's this?

Oh my gosh.

Dear Elvira, thank you for a wonderful
time in your basement. Your skills at

party planning have inspired me to
revamp my own Halloween ball.

I'll... Always cherish the moments and
memories we shared together this festive

holiday season and look forward to many
more. Your devoted fan, Martha Stewart.

Did you guys hear that?

Martha freaking Stewart gave me, Elvira
the Queen of Halloween, that hostess

props? Oh, I knew I had it in me all
along.

That is just the nicest thing anyone
I've forced to spend 48 hours locked

a crate has ever said to me.

Must be my first guest.

I better answer the door and crank up
the old iVictrola.

Meanwhile, we return now to the
thrilling conclusion of Garrett to

Take it away, Bella!

There must be a button or a gadget of
some kind around here.

Two o 'clock, almost deadline for the
nine o 'clock final.

Oh, Terry, what makes you think there's
anything behind them walls?

I've got a sneaking suspicion that the
professor uses them for a disappearing

act. I wish Lillipet was here to take me
a cup of coffee.

No, she's right over in the doctor's
office. Why don't you ask her?

Poor Lillipet.

I kind of hinted that all I needed was a
murdered body, but I didn't think she'd

take it personal.

Will you stay with those walls?

I've been around him three times, Terry.

The thing I can't understand is the
professor was down here when the trouble

going on upstairs.

He just had to be two different guys in
order to have a hand in it.

Oh, Terry, let's figure it out in the
morning, huh?

What's that?

Wake up.

Either something or somebody opened the
front door.

That's the shortest night's sleep I've
had in a long time.

All right. Now that you're good and
rested, let's see if we can understand

happened upstairs.

Well, do you think it had something to
do with that picture, maybe, that

Lilibeth found in Mrs. Vanney's room?

What picture?

Oh, the one with the couple with the two
masks, you know, like we found, like

that mask.

Who has the picture now?

Well, young Vanney, I guess.

That's the point.

Where has Mr. Van E. been since his wife
disappeared?

Well, him and his old man are sleeping.

I guess they got some sense.

No, no, no. I've already checked that,
and they haven't slept in their beds

tonight.

Wake up!

I refuse to answer on the grounds that
my tender incriminator degraded me.

My unconscious mind.

Now, look, Bill, please stay awake for a
while.

Now, look, tell me, what happened when
you smelled that sweet odor in the hall

upstairs?

No, it smelled lovely.

Lovely, that's all I can remember.

And Dr. Vanney had already left Laura's
room, is that right?

Yeah, he'd gone out, and he said
goodnight, and he had given her some

or something that he said would take
care of her in the morning, and then he

went down the hall to his own room.

And then you fell asleep?

Yeah, no, I just kind of... Dozed off a
little.

Like this.

Here's your coffee, sir.

Terry, that's a dirty trick.

Stay on the other side of that window.
What for?

Take a look.

I'm looking. What do you see?

Why, it's Professor Leonid.

You think so?

Come on, get outside.

Who, me?

Yes, you. I can't go out there with Jane
in here. Well, why can't I stay inside

and watch and you go outside?

Oh, that's great. You'll watch the way
you did upstairs. Now, do you want that

guy to get away?

Yes.

Standing there shaking in your boots,
aren't you ashamed of yourself?

No. Well, you should be. Go on, Bill.
This is your one chance to rehabilitate

yourself.

Wait, I never even heard of the word.

Look out! The bushes!

Have your gun ready.

What good is a gun against what's going
on around here?

Lillibat.

Oh, gee.

This ain't natural.

Who are you talking to?

The woman I love.

Poor little angel. Try and speak to me.

She can't hear you.

Oh, what is it, Indigo? Did Timmy fall
in the well?

What was you doing outside?

You're supposed to be dead.

Now, you stay right here, honey. I got
to catch that guy in the shrubbery.

What are you doing? Don't tell me,
Lillibet.

I got work to do.

Lillibet, be reasonable, will you? If
you don't cooperate, I'll never get back

to Central.

Never mind, Raymond. Take care of
Lillibet.

Lillibet?

Yeah.

That's who it was. I opened the door and
she fell right in my arm.

Like she had something special to tell
me.

You notice that presence about her?

To think this wounded flower was once
even as you and I. Take her back into

Van E's office. What's she doing
wandering around? She's supposed to be a

What happened to that guy outside?

Never mind.

You found her.

I never knew she was lost.

I missed her. I missed her from my
office.

Will you please take her back?

What are you gonna do?

Yes, doctor, and what have you been
doing?

We've turned this house upside down
trying to find you.

Hardly that, young man. If you'd done
that, you would have found me.

Now, Raymond, we can't allow the field
to remain in this condition any longer.

Well, what can you do?

You look like a perfect snitch to me.

Bring him into my office.

Oh, doctor.

This may not be any news to you, but
your daughter -in -law has disappeared.

Oh, how dreadful.

But let us say somewhat overdue.

Hey, Mr. Lee. You don't seem very
surprised to hear about it.

Young man, when you've been devoutly
praying for something to happen, you

your good fortune without question.

We thought that probably you might be
able to throw some light on the subject.

That's right, Raymond.

Leave her there.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with
her.

Huh?

And you mean I've been pining away for
nothing?

She was put in a deep hypnotic sleep,
that's all.

But why?

Why, Doc?

Who done it?

It was done so that she would obey
certain orders that were transmitted to

If that's true, then why did you declare
her dead? I had my own good reasons.

Would you give me one reason why you
like to go around getting hit on the

That must become a little monotonous.
Mr. Lee, are you sure that you saw what

you thought you saw?

I'm not blind. I might be getting a
little dizzy in this madhouse.

You know, Doctor, morning isn't very far
off.

And when the police get here, you've got
an awful lot of explaining to do.

You're in this up to your neck. By
morning, let us hope no explanations

necessary.

Everything will have explained itself.

Poor little sleeping beauty.

Do you suppose someone thought she
looked weak -minded and picked her out

carry out his commands?

That's not always the case, Raymond.

If Leonide were here, we could settle
this case very quickly.

Gentlemen.

It is my peculiar misfortune to always
be in a position where I may eavesdrop.

How can I be of service, cousin Joseph?

Oh, Professor.

Ask me no questions, my friend, and I
will tell you no lies.

Leonide, you could undo certain mischief
that has been done with this girl.

I know you can help if you will.

I could, my dear Joseph.

But I will not bring down the wrath of
the unknown madman who is loose about

these premises.

It is a matter of self -preservation.

I had nothing to do with hypnotizing
this girl.

I have an idea that she may have already
carried out the unknown's orders and

that he no longer needs her.

Nevertheless, my dear Joseph, you must
excuse me.

Just a minute, Professor.

I wonder what would happen, Professor,
if in connection with your sudden

reappearance here...

Somebody dug up the old story of why you
swindled Dr. Varney and then ran off

and let him take the rap.

I will not be blackmailed, Mr. Lee.

And I observe again that you're a young
man who knows too much for his own good.

And I would also like to know where you
obtained all this information.

You're extremely young to have your
fingertips on a vent of 20 years ago.

I have a memory like an elephant. I
never forget something once I hear it.

sharpie, Professor.

As every one of you will admit before
morning.

Now, Doctor, I'd like to bore you with a
few questions.

I wouldn't mind, young man, if you had
the slightest idea of what you were

looking for.

Maybe if we start back to the time
around midnight, when you administered

you call a sedative to your daughter -in
-law.

How'd you find out? Google?

Why do you keep evading the issue,
Doctor? You know you'll have to confess

the police get here anyway.

I would remind you, young man, that
you're making a direct accusation, and I

refuse to answer.

Look, I want the facts and I want them
now. Let's cut out the mulberry bush

routine. Listen, Bill, you're supposed
to be a cop and you want to get back to

homicide. Help me make the doctor loosen
up.

He knows a lot more than he's telling.

Sure, I'll help, Terry, but first let's
get Lilybeth out of this.

Maybe she can tell us something.

Yes, Mr. Lee, it seems to me that you're
not too anxious to have Lilybeth

restored to consciousness.

What do you hear, Doc?

Her heart's in a very depressed
condition.

Someone's been giving her orders by
mental telepathy.

Hey, could I learn to do that?

Supposing Lilybeth was in the kitchen.
Could I telegraph her a wish for a cup

coffee? Perhaps, Raymond. Someday, when
we have a little time, I'll indicate the

principles of hypnosis to her.

Maria Joseph.

The principle of hypnosis isn't as
simple as you would make them believe.

It requires a long and patient study.

But I will risk the rest of the unknown.

For I see you truly love this child.

And for your sake, for your sake, I
shall use my knowledge.

Oh, gee, thanks, Professor.

You're solid.

Lily Beth, darling.

Keep your big hands to yourself. What
are you slapping me for?

Professor, put her back to sleep. It's
better that way. What have you been

to me?

Me? What have I been doing? Yes, what
have you been doing? You've got to learn

me that hypnotism trick. It's my only
chance.

Tell me, Lily Beth, what happened?

Well, I can't seem to remember it.

It all seems like a dream.

Did you see anyone?

No, but I do remember a perfume, a sweet
odor.

Yes, yes, go on.

What is it?

Is it Halloween?

No, it isn't.

Then why was that green face bobbing up
at the window?

What? Yeah, a green face is like the one
I saw in Mrs. Van E's room.

You saw a green face in Mrs. Van E's
room?

Darling, that's what she was shooting
at. I mentioned it to you, but you're so

scatterbrained. Yes, dear, I'm
scatterbrained.

Does your mind feel rested now on
everything after your nap?

Mm -hmm. That's a good girl.

Now, come on, tell me, what happened?

Oh!

I can tell you just how it happened. We
were alone in the room, and Laura was

going to sleep. And then she said, oh,
take away the bandage. And I said, what

bandage? And then she said, oh, don't
shoot me. I didn't mean to do it. And

the room got awfully black.

I think somebody must have turned off
the lights.

Just like that.

Go ahead. You're doing fine.

Well. Yeah, the lights had already gone
out.

And the room got awfully dark. You've
already said that.

Think hard now.

You saw a green mask.

It came out of the wardrobe.

Like a moth?

Yes, darling, just like a moth. Oh, how
clever of you. It was just like a great

big moth, and it flew around and around.
Please don't make yourself any dizzier

than you are.

Now tell me the rest of it.

Well, I just don't see how you could
remember that it was like a great big

Did you see it? Was you there hiding in
the wardrobe, maybe?

No, I wasn't in the wardrobe.

Now look, Jane, please, be yourself.

No, I mean don't be yourself.

Just relax.

Relax. Mr. Lee.

Just a moment.

Where were you?

Were you upstairs?

No, I was down here talking with your
son.

And by the way, where is he?

Here I am, Mr. Lee.

What can I do for you?

Will you stop it?

Yes, I was listening outside the door.

You haven't answered my father's
question yet.

Oh, come on. Take it easy. Take it easy.

Maybe you can tell us where you've been,
Mr. Vanney.

Of course you don't know anything about
your wife's whereabouts.

Oh, go on. Tell him where she is. I want
to go home.

I'm hungry.

Quiet,

everybody. Quiet. Laura.

Don't. No, don't.

Don't.

Laura. She's under a hypnotic spell.

Ladies and gentlemen, it has been an
exciting night, and you all are

of some explanation and relaxation for
the strange goings -on.

The guy who's doing the talking is
behind the wall somewhere.

Now you're getting smart, Sherlock.

We introduce at this time the team of
Lorette and René, as they appeared at

height of their success in the green
room of the Paris Crayon.

Sure, the mask, the picture.

Mademoiselle Lorette.

Now I know who he is.

Mademoiselle Lorette will now put a
bandage over her eyes.

The better to see the inner truth.

Very good, René.

Very good.

Just like the old time.

Would any member of the audience like to
ask Mademoiselle a question?

Come, Mr. Lee. You have been so full of
questions up to now.

I'm thinking, brother.

We cannot keep Mamsel too long in this
delicate mental balance.

She has been under a great strain
lately.

Then I will ask the questions myself.

Yes, Rennie, I'm at your command.

Are you afraid now?

No, I'm quite safe.

Will you tell the truth?

Yes.

They came to me and said your partner,
he of the magic feats and rare

impersonations, is a spy.

But we can't prove it.

We will give you a million francs if
you, Laurette, bring us that proof.

Now we shall know.

You gave them the proof they wanted?

Yes.

They took him away to be killed?

Yes. What was he to you, this man you
betrayed?

This man you sold to the enemy for
money?

He was my husband.

When they told you he was to be
executed?

You sent this man a gift for his last
moment before the firing squad.

What was it?

It was a green scarf for his eyes.

Like the one you're wearing now?

Yes. Why did you send it?

It was my scarf.

I wanted him to know I had betrayed him
because I hated him.

He was good and kind, but I hated him
for the power he had over me.

I see.

That is your only defense you hated.

You thought they shot him.

You escaped to America.

You thought you were safe.

Then you found out he was alive and
wanted revenge.

Thank you, Mademoiselle Laurette.

You may remove the bandage now.

What do you see on the cloth,
Mademoiselle?

There's a hole in it.

Yes. What else, Laurette?

What else?

There's blood on it.

There's blood.

I have come back.

I am here.

And I will have my revenge.

No!

No, don't touch me!

Outside,

under the window. You know where.

Yes, he had his revenge.

The living, immortal terror that he
found.

Just a minute, lady. You ain't going
nowhere.

Well, if it ain't Mrs. Williams.

Come along with me.

Come on, come on. You want me to slug
you? Get inside.

Hey, Terry, Terry, come here.

Get a load of this.

There's your man.

What a drag.

I never laid a hand on you, my boy.

You kept your promise to me. You said
you wouldn't touch her.

But she's dead, ain't she?

And you ain't going nowhere till we find
out what killed her. And you,

Professor, you know too much for your
own good.

I'm holding you, too.

Now you're getting smart, Bill.

Well, Professor, I see you two know each
other. Yes.

Rene was my assistant.

I taught him everything he knows.

He went out for himself and became a
success.

Later, we met in a concentration camp.

And here we are.

A small world, Mr. Lee.

A small world, indeed.

Is this the place where you get the
marriage license?

No, dear, this is the morgue. The
morgue. Oh, darling, you say the cutest

The morgue! Oh!

Never mind, dear. You just stay right
here. Nobody will get you.

Oh, but... Well, doctor, got anything to
add to my story of the year?

Who's this Renee?

Renee was her husband. She turned him
over for her son. Figured the Nazis

take care of him, but he had ideas of
his own.

Look, doc, was it murder?

Do I finally get a break? Was she
murdered?

We're sending the report to the police.
What's it saying?

Oh, come on, doctor. Don't hold out on
us.

I didn't understand it at first, but I
do now.

There were no marks of violence on the
body, and we found no internal

disturbances. What does this all add up
to, doctor? Yes, what's happened?

She was literally scared to death.

Well, darling, that about wraps it up
for another year.

Thanks for stopping by and spending the
best night of the year with Queen

Halloween. I hope you got everything you
expected in your trick -or -treat bag.

And more.

Now, I don't know about you, but I am
ready to party.

Who's up for a round of bobbing for
boobies?

That was a dream.