Original subtitles

Hello, darling.

Yep, it's me, that gal with panache who only takes cash.

No checks, money orders, or CODs, please.

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. And if you're the kind of person who loves the

great classic films, I may have you come to the wrong place.

But if you like gore, guts, and bloodthirsty ghouls, then pop open a

I mean a beer, not a ghoul.

And prop your feet up on the one you love, because you are in for a yummy

Tonight's feature is a dermatologist's dream called I Eat Your Skin.

And it's all about these flesh -eating flesh -eaters who just throw away all

good parts and just eat the skin.

I mean, talk about a waste.

Guess their moms never told them about all the little flesh -eaters in China

had to go to bed without any skin.

Yeah, this movie comes from way back in 1964.

Way before my time.

Yeah, back in the day when the world was black and white.

On account of the color hadn't been invented yet.

Anyway, tonight's feature takes place in a place called Voodoo Island.

Voodoo Island?

Yes, that's the name of the island.

Uh, yeah, thanks, guys, but I do a solo act.

So grab your voodoo doll and a couple of pins and get ready for I Eat Your Skin

here on Movie.

you

um

Thank you.

He looked up, and there she stood on the balcony as nature met her to be. The

blood began beating in its temples.

Her eyes were blue, black, gorgeous beads of beautiful ebony.

They called, demanded him to come to her.

He was up the stairs in a few bounds, and before he knew it, he was standing

her doorway.

Well, go on, go on.

Where was I? Let's see.

Oh, yes, yes. There he stood, framed in the doorway.

She was on the bed.

Her breath was coming heavy now and short, abrupt birth.

The veins in its throbbing temples were beating as if they would burst.

So he picked up the pulsating pail of ice water and dreamily dumped it on her.

That's right out of your second novel, Hot Lips.

Hey, old buddy.

Welcome home. Did you lose all your millions at Monte Carlo?

Where have you been?

I've been trying to get in touch with you since I came back. Well, to tell you

the truth, old buddy, I was holed up in my room all this time working on this

great story.

You haven't turned in one word in three months.

Where is this great story?

Oh, up here, old guardian of my metal treasures. Up here.

Okay, Harry Harris.

You've got exactly 30 seconds to get off your can.

I've got a job for you.

You've got 15 seconds to get up from here.

But you... Five seconds.

That's my suitcase and my typewriter. I'll explain later. Look, Doc, wait a

minute. Am I late, T .H.? Oh, no, of course not. Doc, this is my secretary.

We've got some dictating to do. Hey, Harris.

Oh, honey, keep your pencil sharp, will you? I'll be right back.

You don't understand!

Sorry, old man. No room, no room.

It's a little drafty in here. I'm going to kill you, Harris.

That's back when spousal abuse was still fun.

Where to, sir?

Straight to the airport, Enrico, and step on it.

Wait a minute, what do you mean airport?

When I was in Monte Carlo, I met a... Lord Carrington at the casino.

He had a most interesting tale to tell. Was he winning or losing?

This, Welch, Tom, it really doesn't matter.

Lord Carrington inherited an island in the Caribbean, and this island is so

remote that only he could approximate its location.

What, pray tell, does all this have to do with me?

You, playboy writer, my card -playing wife, and I are going to this island.

You're starting on your next bestseller.

Oh, no. Enrico, pull over.

Now, wait just a minute.

Let me finish.

If you don't like my story, I'll take you back to the hotel and you can

your debauchery.

The more that I heard what was happening on Voodoo Island... Voodoo Island?

Yes, that's the name of the island.

The more I began to think what a wonderful background this would make for

adventure novel.

In the first place, the Vinatis practice voodoo. So they practice voodoo.

Secondly, there's a large quantity of highly poisonous snakes in the island.

You're hurting your cause.

Now listen, please.

Lord Carrington has set up a foundation to perform experiments with the snake

venom. There's been a famous scientist there for years trying to find a cure

cancer.

Interesting, but not interesting enough. Sorry. Now wait, let me finish. I

haven't gotten to the most important part yet. These voodooists actually

human sacrifices.

And that there's some superstition about them.

An army of walking dead.

I presume you would call them zombies?

You actually contemplate taking that lovely, voluptuous kook of a wife whom

claim to love and me, your breadwinner, whom you claim to be your best friend,

to an island overrun with dead people practicing human sacrifices and voodoo

the sake of a good book?

There is one important thing I did leave out. What is that?

Girls.

Girls? Virgin natives.

Just waiting for some sophisticated swinger like you to come along and pluck

them off their tropical vines.

He was very funny. Lord Carrington said that a few years ago all the men of the

island were out to sea fishing when a hurricane struck and it left the island

populated with five girls to every one man.

Five to one?

Interesting.

Did you miss me?

Oh, Tommy, I longed for your arms, your lips, your... All right,

will you please tell me what this cockamamie thing is all about?

You won't believe it. Let Moneybags explain.

I love... All right, okay.

What the hell is this all about?

Now, Carl, calm down.

I'm right in the middle of the greatest canastic game ever. I've got Sophie and

Demi for $3 .42, and the Beach Boy walks by and says, if this smoke calls and

says, Pat... for a week and to meet him at the airport.

Now, give me the explanation.

Coral, lovely, because I love you so much and because I want you to have

everything, I'm taking you and your best lover away on a vacation.

Just think, four or five hours across that lovely blue Caribbean lies a land

every man's dreams, where we can lie in the hot sun all day and drink long,

cool, exotic rum drinks.

I can do that at the fountain. Mountain blue.

Okay, big mouth, just get in the plane.

But... Just get in the plane.

Don't talk to me like that.

If you don't get in the plane this very minute, I'm going to cancel every one of

your charge accounts in every department store, couturee, salon in this country,

and in Paris, and in London.

Well, you don't have to get dirty about it. In.

up here. I get sick in elevators. Carl.

It's all right, darling. We'll be there soon.

Can you see it?

It doesn't seem to be where we marked it on the map, sir.

I don't understand Lord Carrington Market himself.

Well, we'd better find something soon.

Look.

Think you can make it?

We'll make a go at it, sir.

Well, switch over to the emergency tank.

We are on the emergency tank now, sir. Here, let me take over. Maybe I can make

the beach.

Well,

let's see where we are.

I wonder where the inhabitants are, Tom.

Well, I spotted a glimpse of a house up at that end of the island. Hey, would

you bring me a banana or coconut or something?

Well, I got hungry with excitement.

Oh, I don't think I've heard a lovelier voice than Susan Boyle.

Look, none of that. You stay with the plane. I'll be back as soon as possible.

Enrico, you better give me my gun.

Hurry back!

I know, I know. So far, watching I eat your skin has been more painful than the

heartbreak of psoriasis.

But nevertheless...

It did give me a brilliant idea.

You know, these days it seems like everybody and their grandma has a new

book out there, right?

So I said to myself, self, why not cash in on a great idea and make a little

cash while I'm at it?

So I came up with my own new diet based on the movie.

Now, if you haven't been watching the show faithfully, shame on you.

Shame on you.

Fool me once, can't get fooled again.

Oh, something like that. But seriously, if you haven't been watching my show,

then you wouldn't know that I used to be ten dress sizes larger.

That's right, folks.

This was me just a few weeks ago.

Why, just look at me. I made Kirstie Alley look anorexic.

But that was before I made up the, I mean, I discovered the I Eat Your Skin

diet. Oh, I'd tried all those fad diets.

The Scaresdale diet, the Twilight Zone diet, Dr.

Batskins and Jenny Dregs. But nothing worked.

It was not until I did some extensive research on the inner tubes that I

realized most people don't know just how low -cal, yet nutritious, a good piece

of skin can be.

That's right. I've been on a strict diet of nothing but skin for three weeks.

And look at me. It has worked miracles.

All you do is coat a frying pan with a little EVO, toss in a slab of flesh, And

bam, add a few fava beans and a nice chianti, and you've got yourself a meal

for a ghoul. A skinny ghoul. Think about it. Have you ever seen a fat zombie?

Well, back to more hoodoo on Voodoo Island right after this.

Bon appetit.

That's right, fanatics. It's time for Elvira's Fun and Freaky Film Facts. Now,

for those of you who actually read the movie titles, Both of you. You may have

noticed that this movie was brought to you by Jerry Gross.

So if this picture's gross, it's a Jerry.

And according to the Internet Online Library, Wikipedia, this movie was also

released under the titles Zombie, Zombie Bloodbath, Voodoo Bloodbath, Voodoo

Island, and Si Manjaro La Pele, which loosely translated means I Eat Your

Until they found out that these titles couldn't draw flies, so they just

it to I Eat Your Skin.

W -C -H.

That's what the heck, just in case you kids are watching.

Oh, I've been wondering what happened to Dennis Rodman.

Hmm, you think his guns still work?

Buenos dias, senor.

Buenos dias, senor.

We've been forced to land on the beach. Can you tell me where I can get some

help? Si, senor. Follow me.

Bien. Viene conmigo.

Here, let me take those for you.

What are those drums?

Ah, senor. They are voodoo drums.

Desde que ustedes han llegado.

Sacrifice?

What's going to be sacrificed?

Two hours of your non -refundable free time.

Could you do that just a little slower?

Mr.

Fairchild. Mr.

Fairchild, if you can hear me.

Don't be frightened.

We're friends.

We won't hurt you.

Oh, Mr.

Fairchild. Thank goodness you're all right.

Mmm. The skin sure is good.

Thank heavens I live close to a plastic surgeon's office, so I have an endless

supply.

Oh, and just a warning for all you viewers out there that are vegetarian.

Certain scenes in this film contain senseless culinary violence that may be

considered offensive.

You may just want to turn your tubes off right now and wait for the sequel, I

Eat Your Tofu.

Well, while I enjoy my low -cal meal, you can enjoy this commercial. Then it's

back to more Boohoo Island.

Hey, gang, guess what? No more skin for me. Forget about that old virus, old

skin diet. I found something that takes better and gives me lots more energy. It

even kept me awake through this movie, and that's saying something.

I just invented a fantastic new scary weight loss diet, Zombatrim. No more

eating rubbery, dry, itching, flaking skin. Now you can just take new

Just pop a few of these babies in your mouth, and you'll lose pounds faster

you eat them. Now in pretty flesh flavor.

I'm not Mr. Fairchild.

I'm Tom Harris.

Oh, yes, Mr. Harris.

I'm Charles Bentley.

Mr. Fairchild radioed you'd be coming.

Terribly sorry this had to happen to you.

I've been hunting the man who killed him for over a week.

He's violently insane, of course.

Suddenly went berserk, slaughtered his wife and child, and now this.

I hope he didn't hurt you.

Not for the want of trying.

Thomas, Mario, Toman.

He ran in that direction, didn't he? Yes, he went that way.

We have to get to him before his own people do.

If they got him first, I hate to think what they'd do to him.

You see, Mr. Harris, these are very simple people.

They understand only that deed, not the cause.

Deranged mind, a homicidal maniac.

It's quite beyond their comprehension.

Well, I saw your plane coming in. I couldn't tell where it landed.

We ran out of gas and we had to land on the beach.

You had two narrow escapes.

Let's hope the rest of your stay on the island isn't quite so hazardous.

Come on.

Pablo. Yes, sir.

In Cielo.

Hey, no habla.

Yes, sir.

Comprende? Yes, sir.

Mr. Fairchild!

What? Look!

Hey, quick! Get in the plane! Lock the door!

¿Por qué vayas aquí, eh?

¿Eh? Vengan ustedes a sus casas. ¿Por qué es el avión a la playa, señor?

No es importante.

Vayan ustedes.

Robbie, ustedes cuatro esperan aquí.

Sí, señor.

Ustedes cuatro esperamos aquí.

Mr. Fairchild, I'm Charles Bentley.

How do you do? I'm Lord Carrington's overseer on the plantation here on the

island. Mr. Bentley, this is my wife, Coral.

Am I glad to see you, honey.

Well, it's my pleasure.

Well, welcome to Ireland.

Let's go up to the house. You can freshen up.

Then we'll celebrate your arrival.

Thank you.

What about the plane?

Robey and his men will roll it up on the beach and tie it down.

Marita, my housekeeper.

Welcome. She'll take good care of you. Thank you, honey.

Oh, Mr. Bentley, what a lovely house you have. It's so tropical.

Well, come in, come in. Thank you.

Now, please, all of you, me casa es su casa. My house is your house.

This way, please.

All right. Come on, honey.

Oh, Dunk.

Tom, look.

What a glorious tropical sunset.

Look, you two. There's something very strange going on in this island. I don't

know what it is. But this afternoon when I was coming up to... Guarita?

Si, senor.

Warita, is it true there is to be a sacrifice tonight?

Sacrifice? Who's sacrificing what?

I do not understand, senor.

I'll show you to your room. This way, please.

We'll talk about this later.

food for thought.

Did you ever wonder where you can study voodoo? You know, last time I checked,

they no longer taught voodoo at Purdue, but I think they still do at Alabama U.

I mean, technically, you don't even study voodoo, you know. You just

it. Oh, really?

Yes, Mr. Smarty Pants.

Really.

Nothing worse than a no at all.

Oh, really?

You are starting to get on my last day nerve.

Just go to commercial. Just go. Go!

There is one good thing about this movie. It sure has some beautiful

it. I mean, the island is so lush and so, so... So tropical.

Oh, yeah.

Tropical.

Geez, is that her voice or a weed whacker?

She must be an escapee from the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

You frighten me.

Oh, I am sorry.

What part of heaven did you fly down from?

Oh, boy.

Mr. Harris, I've read some of your books, and I only hope you're more

in person.

Well, I'm afraid that's one of the occupational hazards of being a writer.

You, uh, stand naked before the world.

Nah, that was my old Vegas act. You just told me your name.

Only on one condition, if you mix me something very cold to drink.

Well, either way.

I'm Janine Bilodeau.

My father, Dr.

August Bilodeau, is here on the island doing some experimental research.

Oh, so your father is a man that's going to find the cure to the world's

deadliest disease.

Let us say, Mr.

Harris, that my father is doing his very best.

He works hard.

Too hard, perhaps.

Well, here.

Salute.

I see you at least mix an excellent drink, Mr. Harris.

What is it?

A Rob Roy.

Oh.

What brings such an important person such as yourself to Voodoo Island?

To find you.

A wandering sailor came by one day and told me of a beautiful blonde goddess

inhabited this island.

From which one of your books was that line?

My next one, I hope.

Go for a new novel?

You've certainly made a very successful start.

Well, I'm afraid I'd prefer to fictionalize that incident.

It must have been horrible.

Well, that native that killed the fisherman and attacked me this

there was something very unnatural about him.

That skin and those eyes.

You know, I've heard a rumor that there's an army of walking dead on this

island.

Is there any truth to that?

Well, maybe I can't explain this, Mr. Harris.

Growing on this island is a very rare plant that when the roots are crushed

left to dry in the sun, it forms a very toxic narcotic.

And for centuries, the natives have used this as we use alcohol.

But excessive use of this narcotic sets up a strong chemical reaction in the

body tissues.

Maybe that can explain the abnormal appearance of the native and his...

Deadly intent.

Well, I see you've started without us.

Hi, everybody.

I must apologize.

We had a little trouble deciding what to wear.

Yeah, he wanted to wear the dress. Oh, I feel like swinging tonight.

Well, who's this pretty little thing?

Coral and Duncan Fairchild, this is Janine and Dr. August Billidue.

If you want those cocktails, I'm afraid you'll have to bring them to the table

with you.

Marita is a magnificent cook.

One thing she will not tolerate is food getting cold.

Perhaps it's just as well.

I have a Borgelais I'm very proud of.

Hard liquor will just dull the palate.

Turkeys are evil.

The only smoke that's ever going to be saved is a good cigar.

Oh, I disagree.

Someday they're going to get the clean tobacco in the right filter. Now, you

mark my words. Gentlemen, gentlemen, shall we continue this in the other

That's a very good idea.

Very good.

All that was fine.

Now, Mr. Harris, what do you think of our island now?

Oh, it's beautiful.

Almost unreal.

What are those drums?

That fisherman told me this afternoon that there would be a sacrifice tonight.

Sacrifice?

Nonsense.

In your cosmopolitan cities, when you want to enjoy yourself, you go to a

nightclub. Even in your small towns, you have bars and movies and dances.

Well, here on the island, when the natives want to have fun, they beat on

and dance.

Well, why do they call this island Voodoo Island?

Any voodoo that's practiced on this island today is quite harmless, I assure

you. Oh, really?

Mr. Bentley, I noticed that you had quite an interesting library, and

the section on local religions and customs. Oh, yes, that's one of my

I was wondering if you minded if I browsed around a while.

Not at all.

Help yourself, any time.

Thank you very much. Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm afraid I have to be in

fields rather early in the morning. And I to my laboratory.

Oh, Doctor, I was wondering if you allowed outside observers to enter your

domain.

I'd like very much to see your laboratory.

Well, maybe in the morning, after I've finished my rounds, I could give you all

a tour of the island.

I would like that very much.

Well, good night. Good night.

Not for me.

I feel slightly dizzy as it is.

I'm game if you are, honey. Okay, cutie.

Care to take a walk?

Okay.

But I warn you, I've studied jujitsu.

You two care to come?

Now, wouldn't you hate us if we did?

No, we're just going to stay here and get loaded.

Doug?

Don't you feel tired or something?

I don't.

Did he just call her Carl?

Uh, yeah, damn straight, Carl, or whatever your name is. I definitely feel

tired. Or something.

I mean, we are almost halfway through this torture, and I haven't seen anyone

eat so much as a follicle.

And here's something to chew on. I bet you didn't know that skin is the largest

organ on the body.

Well, with the exception of one of my old boyfriends.

How many of you believe in deja vu?

How many of you believe in deja vu?

Yeah, it's so weird. I was just sitting here, you know, thinking to myself,

this... This plot seems really familiar to me.

I know I've seen it somewhere before, but I can't put my finger on it.

Oh boy, they sure don't make them like that anymore.

Thank God.

Well, hang in there, darling. I think I see the end in sight.

Oh, look at that moon.

That's the sun.

Bread and butter.

Don't you ever get lonely with no other young people down here?

Sometimes.

But I paint.

And I swim.

And I horseback ride.

And I go to San Juan about twice a year.

Maybe I can talk him into coming to Miami.

Perhaps.

If only I could get my father to leave his island.

Why? Is there something wrong?

Maybe I can help.

If only you could.

What's happened?

That's what I'd like to find out. We were out there walking in the garden

three of these creatures with the eyes jumped on us. Three of them.

I had no idea the natives were using the drug so extensively.

I'll post guards around the house.

First thing in the morning, my men and I will go after them.

Now, I think it might be best if all of us tried to get some sleep.

Mr. Bentley, perhaps you could answer one question first.

Well, I'll try, but I'm not sure I know what's going on right under my nose.

Well, these men or creatures or things or whatever they are murdered a man this

afternoon and tried to kill me.

Tonight, they did everything possible to kidnap Janine.

Now, why? What do they want?

Mr. and Mrs. Fairchild, would you take Janine upstairs, please?

Certainly. Come along, darling.

I didn't want to frighten them.

But you certainly have a right to know as much as I know.

No, I don't pretend to know the subtlety of these people's religion.

I don't think any outsider does.

Here.

Why these creatures want your name?

I can only guess.

My guess has frightened me.

This book was written by one of the foremost experts on voodooism in the

In it, he tells the story of a... medical missionary in Africa whose

was killed by the local tribe. Yes, here it is.

Dr. Jacobson had been treating the natives for a disease which they'd been

stricken with for some time.

So many of them were dying that they were willing to try anything.

All the young virgins of the tribe had been sacrificed to their god.

Dumb Bella... Dumb Bella?

The only girl left was Dr.

Jacobson's blonde daughter. One night...

The son of the tribe's chief was stricken with the disease.

The chief had the blonde girl sacrificed and his son recovered.

The fact that the doctor treated the boy, of course, was the thing that saved

his life. But the tribe believed that the sacrifice of the young blonde girl

saved the boy's life.

Now, I know that the descendants of that tribe are the natives on this island.

They were brought here by the slave traders centuries ago. You mean to tell

that the natives on this island today still believe they can avoid a

by sacrificing a young blonde virgin, in this case Janine? It seems to fit.

Well, can't you put a stop to this? Don't you have any control over your own

people? Mr. Harris, these people have had their superstitions for centuries.

Now, you can't expect them to drop them in a matter of decades.

I thought you said, Mr. Bentley, earlier this evening that the voodoo practiced

on this island was harmless.

I don't know.

I don't know what to think.

I'll go post those guards.

Good night.

Please go.

Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you, but I have to talk to you.

Now, I don't know what's going on in this island, but I do know you're in

serious trouble.

I want you to leave with us tomorrow afternoon at low tide.

I can't.

I can't go without my father.

I'm all he has in the world.

Well, your concern is very commendable, but I think this is a little one -sided.

If you're all he has in the world, I should think he'd want to protect you.

He's a dedicated man.

You don't understand that, do you?

Without his work, he'd be nothing. It's his whole life.

I thought you told me you were his whole life. Please, I don't want to talk

about it anymore.

I don't know why I'm getting involved in something that's none of my business.

I'm sorry.

I realize you're just trying to help.

I need you.

I eat your lips.

Well, I guess you don't have to worry about that pesky old virginity problem

anymore. Yep, she should be safe now.

And since I haven't seen any other nubile blonde virgins running around on

island, I would say this show is pretty much over.

Well, good night, darling, and unpleasant dreams.

What? There's still almost half of this turkey left to go?

Well, I'll see you back after this.

Well, darling, to get you up to speed, now that Tom, the horny author, is fixed

for innocent Janine's problem, he's hellbent on getting her off the island

low tide, which seems odd since they flew in.

Now, if you ask me, she's got a lot more to worry about than just zombies

creeping into her room at night. That's her horndog just busting whenever he

feels like it. I have one word for you, Janine. Screen doors.

And the zombies just seem to roam around the island not doing much of anything

in particular.

Definitely not even skin, that is for sure.

And the voodooists, I mean, they just spend all their time auditioning for So

You Think You Can Dance.

You know, I don't have a clue where this movie's going, darling. I just know I

don't want to go with it.

The Lord is with you.

He wants Janine as his wife when the moon is

full.

Yes, Fernando.

Oh,

he's bilingual.

Good morning, Mr. Harris.

Oh, good morning, Mr. Bentley.

Oh, cafe, por favor.

You seem to have found food for thought. I hope you've done as well by your

stomach.

Oh, yes, I've been very well taken care of, thank you. Where are Mr. and Mrs.

Fairchild?

They haven't come down yet.

What time is it?

Just after ten.

You either work very quickly or you got up very early this morning.

When a story interests me, I move right along.

This one must be fascinating.

Yes, it is. I'm writing about what's happened to us since we arrived on this

island.

But I'm afraid like so much of life, no one will believe it. I don't like to

seem inhospitable, but in view of what's happened...

I think it might be best for you and your friends to leave the island as soon

possible. Oh, I quite agree.

I've instructed Enrico to locate gas for the airplane.

Terribly sorry this had to happen right now.

Last night you said you'd show me Dr. Bilodeau's laboratory.

I'm afraid I'll have to declare the laboratory out of bounds.

If you'll excuse me, I'll get back to work.

Coffee, please. Morning, Dunk.

Well, well, good morning, lover.

Hi, sweetie pie.

Look, Dunk, your genius has been working.

Hey, buddy boy, looks like you jumped off the mental wagon with vengeance.

Oh, boy, I love you, I love you.

Hey, lay off. You'll get the paper all soggy.

If you're going to wear that, I can't stay around here.

You're sweet, honey.

I'll see you two children later.

Hey, listen.

After what happened last night, do you think it's a good idea to go wandering

around this island?

I've got to find out what's going on around here. But don't you want me to go

with you?

No, you stay here with Coral. And be ready to leave at three o 'clock this

afternoon. I've got Enrico loading the plane with gas and we'll try to take off

in the wet sand.

All right.

Hi. Sleepyhead, do you know what time it is?

You'll be happy to know that I've given our conversation of last night a great

deal of thought.

I've decided to ask Father if he'll leave the island with us.

That is, if you want us to come.

Oh, you know I do.

I suppose we can get everybody into the plane.

Of course, Coral will have to leave some of her luggage behind.

Come on.

You get dressed and we'll go tackle your father.

Don't know I've never seen before

These

are symbols that are used in voodoo sacrificial rite

A ghoul?

No.

with us this afternoon. Where's your father's laboratory?

This way.

Come on.

Welcome back, darling.

You're here with the Meryl Streep of Cheese, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.

Now, you know, I've heard of people having a tool shed, but it looks like

doc's got a ghoul shed.

I mean, who knew zombies had to age like fine cheese?

And the doctor had to know that the zombies were non -union. I mean, it's

obvious that they're scab labor.

Get it? Scab labor.

Back to more of our skin flick after this.

You know, this movie would be about ten times better if they had just crashed

when they crash -landed on Voodoo Island.

Well, why do they call this island Voodoo Island?

Because the name Doodoo Island was already taken.

And speaking of doo -doo, this movie stinks like somebody stepped in it. Pee

-yew! Just hope you can hang in there with me to the end.

Please, leave at once!

Hey, wait a minute, mister.

I call the shots around here.

Why don't you just zip it and go back to milking your snake?

You just stay right where you are, darling. It's never too late to hope

story will grow a plot.

Believe me, it is too late.

Why, I ought to... This is... This is your father's lab?

Yes.

During the war, the Navy built a gun emplacement in the cliffs to protect the

bay. My father built it over into his lab.

Come on.

Hurry!

Wait!

Tom! Tom! I know him. He's my friend.

What on earth are you doing here?

I'm sorry, Miss Janine.

I wanted to warn you.

You must leave the island.

Why must she leave the island?

She's in great danger. She must leave now, today.

In danger from whom, Fernando?

Papa Nebo.

He wants to make you the goat without horns.

What do you mean, goat without horns? I must leave now. Please, Miss. You must

go.

Janine!

What are you doing here?

I told you never to come here. Mr. Harris, I thought I left word that I

to be disturbed.

Father, please.

I've never seen you like this before.

Tom and I came to ask you to leave the island with us.

You've been wanting to leave for a long time. Now's your chance.

Come with us, Doctor. I have reason to believe your daughter will be in serious

trouble if you stay on here. Please, leave at once.

Janine, you go to the house and go to your room. Father, please. Do as I say!

It's too late.

Why?

Believe me, it is too late.

I know I was very selfish in wanting to keep you here with me.

Mr. Harris, I'd appreciate it if you took Janine with you. Of course, but

going on in here? What are you people up to?

It's best that you don't know.

There's nothing anyone can do.

I think you'd better go now.

Father, please.

Please come with us.

I can't leave without you.

Goodbye, baby.

It's late. We're going to have to leave if we're going to catch that tide.

No. No, Tom, I'm not leaving.

Here they come now.

You girls stay here.

Enrico, Doc, come with me.

Oh, sure. Just leave the girls alone with the zombies while you go work on

plane. And that's a guy for you.

Los Matan!

Mr. Harris, look out!

Ah, great idea. Shoot at the explosive.

No megas eso. Hay cualquier cosa.

Aguántalo.

No, no, no, no.

Casa de la Muerte.

¿Está preparado su sacrificio? Ya está listo, Papa Nego.

¡Vamos!

Where did both come from?

I was wondering.

to do with a flare gun?

I don't know, but it's better than nothing.

I wonder where this leads.

I don't know, but we haven't got much choice.

I think it's the new Kaleem.

An idea.

What do you think?

That was a mistake.

What's that noise? The end of Voodoo Island and Charles Pepe's dream of

conquering the Earth with an indestructible army. Oh, sorry, I asked.

Come on.

Oh, Jeannie.

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

Jeannie, hurry.

Come on.

That's what I'm talking about.

Oh sure, lay him on his back.

no place with the injections of the animals.

So I started using natives as human guinea pigs.

And instead of getting closer to a cure for cancer, the bombarded snake venom

was setting up a curious reaction in the body tissues, making the subject devoid

of will a human vegetable.

Please, doctor, don't talk.

Three natives died because of my futile attempts.

And when he found the results of my experiments, Bentley became obsessed

the idea of creating an army of these unfortunate people.

And he threatened to expose me to the authorities unless I helped him with

mad scheme.

But why did Bentley try to kill Janine?

Bentley needed father.

Put me out of the way.

wouldn't have any fear of him leaving.

Oh, my baby.

What a life I've given you.

Mr. Harris?

Yes, sir.

Perhaps.

Jenny reached the top of the trellis which led to her bedroom and cautiously

peeked inside.

There she was on the bed, naked, her bedclothes thrown off because of the

His heart stopped at her magnificence.

He climbed through the window and stood there looking at her.

Slowly she stirred in her sleep.

Slowly her eyes began to open and they looked at each other.

At that rare moment they knew they must have each other.

He stripped off his clothes and was about to go to her when... Oh, you, you.

Oh, hi.

You, you.

Oh!

they lived happily ever after.

Oh, except for the part where she married a whore.

So that's it? I mean, the movie's over?

There wasn't a single piece of skin eaten in this entire flick.

I mean, no one even chewed their damn cuticles.

What a ripoff, man.

I mean, if I were you, I would demand my money back.

Well, except that you didn't pay to see it. And I don't blame you. I mean, you

couldn't even give this thing away.

Would somebody please tell me why they call this thing, I eat your skin?

I don't know.

Yeah, you and me both, brother. Talk about bait and switch.

I mean, if you ask me, they should have stuck with Timangelo Lapele.

With all those poolside shenanigans going on, it looks more like spring

Cabo. Well, to be fair, this movie wasn't all bad.

It was just 99 % bad.

But at least the amazing special effects made up for it.

Yeah, great.

Looks like a flaming wad of toilet paper.

How appropriate.

But just so it wasn't a complete waste of time, here's a little something extra

to hold you over.

Unpleasant dream.

It's cheap and you'll agree.

The only fun you'll have tonight when you leave the room to pee.

I think I got a pee.

There's a place that's down on the shore of this uncharted jungle isle. Let's

call the dad.

A poodle too.

A homosexual and his wife.

The easy way.

Let's find this and the Mexican.

Here on...