Original subtitles

This is it, the test to see if I can make it

in the superhero big leagues.

This exercise will gauge your efficiency against superior numbers.

Disable all attackers. You have 60 seconds.

FYI, Captain America did it in 10.

Easy-peasy.

This is more humiliating than Parker family game night.

Woo! Oh yeah!

I got you. It's my birthday. It's my birthday.

How weak is this?

I'm going to land on the superhero wall of shame

for dying ten minutes after joining S.H.I.E.L.D.

I really thought he'd make it.

Whoa. That's not good.

Where did S.H.I.E.L.D. tech put the web control?

Nope. Nuh-uh.

Score.

Yee-aw! Yeah!

I finished this thing in under 20.

I completed mine in under 18.

There's no discipline to his fighting technique.

He's just thrashing around hitting things.

But Fury says he's good for the team.

Why is Fury testing a new candidate? I didn't approve this.

Look who thinks he's still in charge. That's so cute.

If Fury thinks I'm going to lead that lame-o in battle...

In your dreams you're the team leader.

He is rough around the edges, but not without potential.

Yeah, but he named himself Spider- Man. How sad is that?

What was he supposed to call himself?

Something cool that didn't scream,

"Hi, I have low self-esteem and identify with bugs."

You know what they say about a book and its cover, dude.

Dude, I'll clean this helicarrier for a month if he makes it.

- Toilets, too? - Toilets, too.

- You're on. - I'm in.

Me, too.

Next.

Web parachute test, red button. See you tomorrow.

Parachute test?

You have the surveillance images taken last night of Target S.

I'm sending them through now, Mr. Osborn.

I won't have Fury getting his hooks into my prize.

Spider-Man will be owned by OSCORP, not S.H.I.E.L.D.

Tell your agents to find him.

He's probably right under your nose.

I've got to go to the bathroom.

Hey, hero.

I brought you something from school.

- Cheerleaders? - Homework.

Harry really stepped up yesterday

when the Frightful Four attacked our school.

Unfortunately all that heroism

won him overnight stay in the hospital.

Peter has your best interests at heart, son.

He's a true friend.

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone had a dad like that?

How about a ride to school, Peter?

You don't have to hold a gun to my head, sir.

Smile Spider- Man.

Whoa, I'm not... How did...

Wow, nervous much?

I'm practicing what I'll say when I finally meet Spider-Man.

Here.

You think it's true that Spider-Man hangs out here at Midtown?

He's been seen on campus often enough.

He could be anybody. A student, a teacher, or...

Thwip-thwip.

Well, maybe not anybody.

I know how much it means for MJ

to get that reporter job with The Bugle

and I'd love to help her out.

I'm afraid I'd blow it once I started talking to her.

I mean, MJ knows me so well.

Good evening, Miss Watson. I hear you've been looking for me.

Peter! What are you doing in that silly costume?

And what's up with that stupid voice?

D'oh!

Even if Spider-Man is a student, he's going to keep it on the down- low.

There's no way he'd let anyone know who he really is.

Maybe, but I'm not giving up.

Sir, ma'am.

Yo, what up?

I'm just trying to blend in now that I'm an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.

An agent? You're barely a newbie.

ID confirmed. S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Nick Fury.

Get in here and don't touch anything.

Cool!

Awesome!

Eh, it's been done.

Yo, Doc. Meet the new kid.

Spider-Man, our resident tech genius. Dr. Curt Connors.

Always glad to meet a fellow genius.

- Awkward. - A pleasure.

I followed your career closely. Very impressive.

I like this guy.

Even before Director Fury approached you about joining us,

I had my R&D team develop an array of Spider- Man inspired weaponry.

- What if I had said no? - Not an option.

That's funny. You're using our web-shooter out of camo mode.

Oh, yeah. I had it in camo mode. But then I couldn't find it.

Joke. Don't you people ever smile?

Over here is something we think you'll find particularly interesting.

I reserve the right to be awestruck.

Hold it.

Director Fury, I've never questioned your choices when it came to the others.

- Others? - But in this case,

we're dealing with a complete wildcard.

Daily Bugle Communications calls Spider- Man a threat to public safety.

- But I'm so cuddly. - Spider- Man's my responsibility, Coulson.

That's what he's here for. To learn responsibility.

We'll see.

You can't see it because of my mask right now, but...

We call it the Spider-Cycle.

Uh, yeah. Useless.

- Excuse me? - I mean it's cool and all,

but why do I need a motorcycle?

I can get anywhere by thwip-thwip.

I calculate you can make it from 80th to 34th street

in 3.7 minutes, while using up what I'm guessing is

fairly expensive webbing and at maximum muscle stress.

Uh, maybe...

The Spider-Cycle can make it in a minute- and-a- half.

If you're not scared thwip-less to climb on.

One side.

And the starter is...

Whoa!

Brake, the brake.

Brake!

Not brake.

Not a problem.

I'll just pop another parachute and...

Okay, now I'm scared thwip-less...

Kid! Down here.

Hey, Nick. I'm a little busy falling to my doom right now.

That button with the web icon. Punch it, and hold on tight.

That's the web track feature.

Internal GPS targets the best places to shoot it.

Works great, but I'm running out of room.

Hit the thrust button.

Whoa!

Sweet!

You do know this is impossible, right?

I've engineered the bike to ride smoothly at any angle. Try it again.

Just how long are Manhattan's spineless officials

going to allow maniacs like Spider-Man

to run roughshod over us decent citizens?

Whoa! Hey, look out!

Oh, sorry, sorry. Whoa!

Kid, what's wrong with you?

You act like you've never driven before.

I don't even have a learner's permit.

- You what? - It's New York. Who needs a car?

Oh yeah.

Oh! Hey, look out! Look out! Look out!

Oh, come on.

This is going to leave a mark.

Whoa!

Let go, Buckethead.

Calm down, Pre-School. We'll take it from here.

I appreciate a hand now and then,

but I really didn't need to be saved by... who're you guys?

Iron Fist, namaste.

Iron Fist.

Kung fu master with fist of well... iron.

White Tiger.

Acrobatic ninja with steel claws and cat powers.

- The big guy here is Luke... - Power Man.

If he calls himself Spider-Man then I'm calling myself Power Man.

It's cool and doesn't scream "I have low self-esteem."

Super strength and bullet proof skin.

Okay, Power Man.

And I've already met Captain Buckethead.

Able to carry two buckets of water in a single...

name's Nova, creep.

Nova Creep. Catchy.

Nova, the human rocket.

Okay.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get this bike back to HQ.

You see, I'm with S.H.I.E.L.D.

Small world.

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

I never signed on to be part of a team.

It's not a team, it's a program. If you'll just let me explain.

No! Nix! Nein! Nyet!

Na-uh! No way! Never!

I win the bet. No toilets for the Tiger.

Uh, I'll take the next one.

So, you're leaving.

Yep. Time to mosey on down the trail.

Spider-Man.

Each one of those heroes is just like you. At a crossroads.

They could use guidance from a kid whose been at this a while.

Look, Nick, they all seem cool.

Even the Buckethead. That's why I'm saying no.

I can't be responsible for what happens to a bunch of rookies.

I know you feel responsible for what happened to your Uncle Ben.

But at some point, you're allowed to forgive yourself and start over.

I wouldn't have made this offer if I didn't see the potential in you,

and all four of them, to be the next generation of great heroes.

The next Avengers.

Those kids have the training, and you have the real world experience.

They're willing to give you a chance.

Will you give them a chance?

It all sounds great, but...

I can't take that chance.

Oh, let him go.

Fury tried to sandbag you with those losers.

Think what you could have taught them.

Uh, Spidey-sense warning me of danger.

To the right, to the left, and under?

Stay down, bug.

Thundra? Klaw?

And the Wizard.

Round two, Spider-Man. You lose.

It wasn't enough I kicked your butts in front of some school kids?

Well, now the whole city is gonna watch.

You've overestimated your chances.

Even though we lack a fourth member. There are still three of us.

While you, Spider-Man, are ever the loner.

Whoa!

Okay, babezilla. You asked for it.

Yeah, like that. What?

Your webbing is caught in the same anti-gravity field that you are in.

Ugh. This stuff isn't cheap, you know.

Klaw.

My turn.

He's out.

Good. Less trouble for us to bring him to our client.

Peeky-boo.

So tell me more about this client.

Who hired you bozos?

I preferred him unconscious.

What are you guys doing here? I had them on the run.

Except for the part where you didn't.

You dropped this.

Surf's up!

You miserable little...

Uh-uh, language Thundy. Kids are watching.

No.

You better not.

Yeah!

What?

You're supposed to be tough, Klaw.

I think you're just a lot of noise.

I can save myself.

"Except for the part where you didn't."

If you want to save someone, look down there.

Superhero 101. We can defend ourselves, they can't.

Trust me. I've got these meatheads.

Go. Protect and serve.

You heard the man.

She called me the man.

Hey, Shrieky. Remember me?

- As always, Daily Bugle... - Heads up, rubbernecks.

...the news up close and personal.

- Whoa! - You're next.

Now the scream of chaos shall meet the soul of iron.

Yeah!

Let's cut the volume.

K.O.

You won't escape again.

My power gloves are charged to their maximum.

- Wait, what gloves? - These gloves.

Oh, those gloves.

No!

Vandalism struck Midtown today

as Spider-Man destroyed a Bugletron billboard,

then went on to lead a group of unnamed vigilantes

in a heated battle with the equally villainous Frightful Four.

As always, Daily Bugle Communications brings you the news...

Your agents failed, Octavius.

I won't tolerate another disappointment.

Understood, Mr. Osborn.

Okay, Nick.

I'll join your junior "glee" club.

But I still operate solo as Spider-Man.

- It's my version of me time. - Done.

Awkward...

Finally both school and Spidey life are back to normal.

Oh, Puny Parker.

Locker knocker time.

Unfortunately.

Wait, do I know you?

- Any of you? - Say hello to your new classmates.

- Danny Rand. - Luke Cage.

- Sam Alexander. - Ava Ayala.

Think about it.

Oh, some idiot gave Fury the bright idea

we needed me time away from S.H.I.E.L.D.

FYI, don't sweat the secret ID.

- Code of silence, man. - Hey, this is great.

Really, really... great.

I just got to go talk to a guy.

- I need an immediate transfer. - Denied Mr. Parker.

- But why? - Because Fury wants you

- where he can keep his eye on you. - Coulson?

Acting Principal Coulson. Thwip-thwip.

I said it before, I'll say it again.

N-o. No, no, no- no, no, no.

Hello? Can somebody let me out?

Please. Anyone?

Okay. Maybe yes.