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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
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2
00:00:46,882 --> 00:00:47,871
Hi, Amy
3
00:00:48,881 --> 00:00:50,031
You got any crystal?
4
00:00:51,082 --> 00:00:52,117
Fuck off
5
00:00:52,482 --> 00:00:54,598
Shit, who pissed in your Fruit Loops?
6
00:00:55,081 --> 00:00:57,516
Peanut, why don't you go passionately fuck yourself?
7
00:01:08,924 --> 00:01:10,278
Yuk, you're all sweaty.
8
00:01:10,962 --> 00:01:12,283
Whatcha lookin' for?
9
00:01:13,244 --> 00:01:14,597
My skull lighter.
10
00:01:14,764 --> 00:01:17,995
I swear, if it's missing, I'll slit my wrists.
11
00:01:19,003 --> 00:01:21,917
Now that would be a great loss to the human race.
12
00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:24,638
Sit and spin.
13
00:01:32,806 --> 00:01:36,003
That guy has the intelligence of a stool sample.
14
00:01:37,085 --> 00:01:38,360
He's OK.
15
00:01:41,566 --> 00:01:43,557
I think he's got brain damage.
16
00:01:44,127 --> 00:01:45,718
But he's OK.
17
00:01:48,204 --> 00:01:52,086
This place is so fucking boring I wish someone
would burn it to the ground.
18
00:01:54,166 --> 00:01:55,963
Let's just get the fuck out of here.
19
00:02:02,686 --> 00:02:03,879
Wanna go to Heaven?
20
00:02:17,327 --> 00:02:18,965
Go ahead and stick it inside.
21
00:02:22,247 --> 00:02:24,238
Jordan, put your dick in me.
22
00:02:25,649 --> 00:02:26,842
I'm tryin'...
23
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:41,522
I'm sorry.
24
00:02:42,809 --> 00:02:43,958
I just...
25
00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:45,119
What?
26
00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:59,805
I'm afraid of catching AIDS.
27
00:03:01,211 --> 00:03:03,168
But we're both virgins.
28
00:03:17,372 --> 00:03:19,568
Where's the fuckin cigarettes?
29
00:03:32,494 --> 00:03:34,291
I dunno what it is, but...
30
00:03:34,773 --> 00:03:36,526
I feel really weird tonight
31
00:03:38,334 --> 00:03:40,325
Like something's gonna happen
32
00:03:41,093 --> 00:03:42,129
Me too.
33
00:03:47,733 --> 00:03:48,849
Do you love me?
34
00:03:50,014 --> 00:03:51,333
Yeah. Totally.
35
00:03:52,974 --> 00:03:54,009
Why?
36
00:03:55,374 --> 00:03:56,568
It's just...
37
00:03:57,414 --> 00:03:59,690
"I love you" can mean a lot of things, like
38
00:03:59,855 --> 00:04:02,688
"You'll do till someone
better comes along"
39
00:04:03,854 --> 00:04:06,209
"I can't describe how I really feel..."
40
00:04:06,415 --> 00:04:08,771
"But I know I'm
supposed to say this"
41
00:04:10,415 --> 00:04:11,644
or "Shut up",
42
00:04:12,895 --> 00:04:14,294
"I'm watchin' TV"...
43
00:04:14,936 --> 00:04:16,255
Are you stoned?
44
00:04:23,256 --> 00:04:26,373
I think sometimes this city is sucking away my soul.
45
00:04:27,095 --> 00:04:30,134
Like yesterday I was
stuck in this humongous traffic jam
46
00:04:30,297 --> 00:04:32,093
on the 405 freeway
47
00:04:33,296 --> 00:04:37,256
and I just couldn't wait to get to the dead
bodies lying there on the bloody asphalt.
48
00:04:38,217 --> 00:04:41,768
All I cared
about was getting out and moving again...
49
00:04:42,497 --> 00:04:43,613
I know
50
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:48,089
I feel like a gerbil smothering in Richard Gere's butthole.
51
00:04:59,579 --> 00:05:01,968
There just is no place for us in this world.
52
00:05:07,939 --> 00:05:09,418
Hey, get off my fucking car!
53
00:05:11,580 --> 00:05:12,694
Wake up, cocksucker!
54
00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:13,889
It's time to die.
55
00:05:19,061 --> 00:05:20,414
Yo, bitch, would you just go?!
56
00:05:20,702 --> 00:05:23,135
Get your fucking hands off my car!
57
00:05:23,821 --> 00:05:24,936
Goddamn motherfucker
58
00:05:32,821 --> 00:05:34,857
I swear, if there is one dent in the door
59
00:05:35,062 --> 00:05:36,654
one scratch in the paint...
60
00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:39,017
What the fuck're you talking about?
61
00:05:39,183 --> 00:05:40,143
This car is older
62
00:05:40,661 --> 00:05:44,371
than you and your jaibait boyfriend here
63
00:05:45,062 --> 00:05:45,973
combined
64
00:05:46,183 --> 00:05:47,332
I love this car.
65
00:05:48,461 --> 00:05:50,851
Oh my god, you're bleeding all over the upholstery!
66
00:05:51,342 --> 00:05:53,492
Jesus, don't potty in your panties about it.
67
00:05:53,663 --> 00:05:55,856
Jordan, he is bleeding all over my upholstery!
68
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,490
It's OK Amy, he's cleanin' it up.
69
00:05:59,623 --> 00:06:00,771
You alright, man?
70
00:06:02,063 --> 00:06:04,974
Yeah. I'm totally into getting
the fuck beat out of me
71
00:06:05,141 --> 00:06:07,134
and slicin' up my own fuckin leg...
72
00:06:07,622 --> 00:06:09,181
You are really fuckin rude. Y'know that?
73
00:06:10,023 --> 00:06:11,614
Hey, that's my shirt.
74
00:06:12,583 --> 00:06:13,379
Oh... sorry
75
00:06:13,545 --> 00:06:14,533
It's cool.
76
00:06:14,745 --> 00:06:15,731
Go ahead
77
00:06:16,304 --> 00:06:16,984
Use it
78
00:06:17,104 --> 00:06:18,935
That is so gross.
79
00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:20,462
What's your name, anyway
80
00:06:28,186 --> 00:06:29,299
Xavier
81
00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:31,140
What?
82
00:06:33,544 --> 00:06:36,457
That's the stupidest fuckin name
I've ever heard.
83
00:06:36,905 --> 00:06:38,897
Is it cool if I just call you "X"?
84
00:06:39,586 --> 00:06:41,816
I can't really pronounce all that...
85
00:06:42,785 --> 00:06:44,663
Only if I get to call you "Nutlicker"
86
00:06:44,906 --> 00:06:46,976
If bullshit were music,
you'd be a big brass band
87
00:06:47,186 --> 00:06:50,418
What's with your lady here, Jordo?
Terminal PMS?
88
00:06:50,626 --> 00:06:52,537
- Fuck you.
- No. Fuck you
89
00:06:54,506 --> 00:06:56,020
Fuck you, you stinkin' kootch.
90
00:06:56,507 --> 00:06:58,861
Fuck you, you big wet bearded clam!
91
00:07:02,587 --> 00:07:04,544
Get out of my fucking car!
92
00:07:06,107 --> 00:07:08,258
C'mon, Amy. He didn't mean it.
93
00:07:08,907 --> 00:07:10,307
He's just jokin' around...
94
00:07:10,588 --> 00:07:11,499
Right X?
95
00:07:11,669 --> 00:07:12,544
Tell her...
96
00:07:12,708 --> 00:07:15,620
Yeah, Amy. Don't get your uterus
all tied in a knot.
97
00:07:15,789 --> 00:07:18,348
Listen, gism-breath.
I want you out of my fucking car
98
00:07:18,548 --> 00:07:19,344
right this fucking second.
99
00:07:21,388 --> 00:07:23,266
I'm not kidding, Scumfuck.
100
00:07:23,429 --> 00:07:25,066
Get. Lost.
101
00:07:32,029 --> 00:07:33,019
You're, uh...
102
00:07:33,709 --> 00:07:35,382
Giving me an erection.
103
00:07:35,629 --> 00:07:36,824
You're repugnant.
104
00:07:39,910 --> 00:07:42,583
OK, Miss America. You win...
105
00:07:47,351 --> 00:07:48,943
Beam me up, Scotty.
106
00:07:52,789 --> 00:07:53,585
Later, gator.
107
00:07:56,030 --> 00:07:57,305
Hey, what about my shirt?
108
00:08:06,150 --> 00:08:07,379
Thanks, X.
109
00:08:07,951 --> 00:08:09,622
My pleasure, Nutlicker.
110
00:08:09,951 --> 00:08:11,543
Will you marry me?
111
00:08:13,832 --> 00:08:15,708
Hey you don't have to decide immediately...
112
00:08:16,112 --> 00:08:18,501
Hey! You think about it
113
00:08:18,872 --> 00:08:19,941
Sleep on it, honey!...
114
00:08:20,312 --> 00:08:21,951
I swear, Amy
115
00:08:22,951 --> 00:08:24,670
You can be so harsh.
116
00:08:26,431 --> 00:08:27,660
I dunno,
117
00:08:28,433 --> 00:08:29,661
he seemed cool.
118
00:08:30,713 --> 00:08:32,111
Kinda strange maybe...
119
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,190
He was an anus-face.
120
00:08:35,713 --> 00:08:37,862
What were we talkin' about the other day,
121
00:08:38,313 --> 00:08:40,384
About trying to be less
judgemental of people?...
122
00:08:40,594 --> 00:08:41,743
Fuck that.
123
00:08:44,953 --> 00:08:46,467
I'm starvin'.
124
00:08:47,274 --> 00:08:49,469
Stop at the next QuickieMart, 'K?
125
00:09:01,036 --> 00:09:02,151
Sure y'don't want anything?
126
00:09:03,275 --> 00:09:04,787
I'm speeding, remember?
127
00:09:09,756 --> 00:09:10,792
Hey. No smoking here
128
00:09:21,315 --> 00:09:23,466
Hey, hey, girlie... you pick up.
129
00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:25,789
Eat my fuck.
130
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,631
Pick up, girlie
131
00:09:35,598 --> 00:09:37,793
I'm so sure
132
00:09:45,038 --> 00:09:46,153
We happy?
133
00:10:01,079 --> 00:10:02,874
6 dollar, 66 cent
134
00:10:06,399 --> 00:10:07,467
That's weird.
135
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,357
Must've fallen out in the car...
136
00:10:11,999 --> 00:10:13,226
I'll pay you right back...
137
00:10:20,038 --> 00:10:20,950
oh fuck...
138
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:22,396
...The Scumfuck.
139
00:10:25,239 --> 00:10:27,390
You fuckin kook.
We left our wallets in the car.
140
00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:28,708
Let me just run out and...
141
00:10:31,961 --> 00:10:33,474
What're you gonna do, shoot us?
142
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:36,196
I mean, what is this, some kind of joke -
like "Candid Camera" or something?
143
00:10:45,161 --> 00:10:45,992
Scram.
144
00:10:46,401 --> 00:10:47,960
What the fuck d'you think you're doing?
145
00:10:48,643 --> 00:10:50,075
Saving your fucking life.
146
00:10:50,242 --> 00:10:51,801
Did I ask you for any big favors, huh?
147
00:10:52,362 --> 00:10:53,921
Would you please just get the fuck out of here?
148
00:10:54,402 --> 00:10:56,837
Jordan, he is getting us into Deep Shit.
149
00:11:05,923 --> 00:11:07,196
Would you just get the hell out of here?
150
00:11:09,324 --> 00:11:10,284
Come on!
151
00:11:54,125 --> 00:11:55,605
...Would you just fuckin chill??!
152
00:11:56,926 --> 00:11:57,803
...his head. His head, man.
153
00:11:58,966 --> 00:12:00,364
It was talkin'...
154
00:12:03,085 --> 00:12:04,645
I think, we're probably cool.
155
00:12:04,806 --> 00:12:08,595
Imean, that weirdo gook lady with the machete
probably doesn't even speak english...
156
00:12:08,966 --> 00:12:10,161
I think everything's gonna be fine.
157
00:12:10,327 --> 00:12:12,237
What the fuck d'you mean
"everything's gonna be fine"?
158
00:12:12,406 --> 00:12:14,968
You just blew somebody's
fucking head off!
159
00:12:17,409 --> 00:12:19,763
You know, you gotta be the little
pessimist all the time, don't you?
160
00:12:19,928 --> 00:12:22,283
Little Miss Gloom and Doom.
Well, fuck you.
161
00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:25,799
You were there, you were both there
with me...
162
00:12:26,368 --> 00:12:27,927
and read my lips
163
00:12:28,529 --> 00:12:29,881
we're in this together.
164
00:12:30,288 --> 00:12:32,803
I fry, we all fry...
165
00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:35,642
Blow it out your crusty rectum, loser.
166
00:12:35,808 --> 00:12:37,447
We don't know you, we barely just met you,
167
00:12:37,610 --> 00:12:40,487
and we certainly don't like you.
You're fucking crazy
168
00:12:42,650 --> 00:12:44,321
...and you're ugly besides.
169
00:12:46,010 --> 00:12:47,489
I love you too, darling.
170
00:12:48,490 --> 00:12:50,003
His fuckin head...
171
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:52,839
it was in the relish 'n' onions 'n'
172
00:12:53,330 --> 00:12:55,083
it was talkin'...
173
00:12:59,131 --> 00:13:01,246
I mean, don't y'think you oughta
call your mom or something?
174
00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:03,886
Tomorrow.
175
00:13:06,131 --> 00:13:08,929
What? Mommy and Daddy'll be all
worried about their baby girl?
176
00:13:09,771 --> 00:13:12,732
My mom used to be a heroin addict;
now she's a Scientologist.
177
00:13:12,892 --> 00:13:14,244
My old man's dead.
178
00:13:16,692 --> 00:13:17,727
Oh, sorry.
179
00:13:18,452 --> 00:13:22,161
I'm not. He was a bloated, alkie pig who
was always trying to molest me.
180
00:13:24,213 --> 00:13:25,281
What 'bout you?
181
00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:29,450
My folks live in Encino.
182
00:13:42,214 --> 00:13:44,090
My mom shot my dad
183
00:13:44,253 --> 00:13:46,449
then killed herself when I was twelve.
184
00:13:53,694 --> 00:13:55,207
I'm taking a bath.
185
00:14:15,416 --> 00:14:17,246
I love this show, man.
186
00:14:22,975 --> 00:14:24,614
S'how Long've you 'n'
187
00:14:25,096 --> 00:14:27,690
Princess Leia been a happy little couple?
188
00:14:28,817 --> 00:14:29,885
Fuck
189
00:14:31,096 --> 00:14:32,769
a long time
190
00:14:35,537 --> 00:14:36,766
Three months
191
00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:39,205
No way.
192
00:14:40,656 --> 00:14:43,728
Most of my relationships,
they last about three days
193
00:14:45,778 --> 00:14:46,815
or...
194
00:14:47,698 --> 00:14:48,892
three hours.
195
00:14:51,539 --> 00:14:53,493
Yeah, relationships bite.
196
00:14:58,619 --> 00:15:00,210
Wow. Righteous tattoo.
197
00:15:01,099 --> 00:15:01,974
I been wantin' one forever but
198
00:15:04,058 --> 00:15:06,892
I can't decide on a design I like enough to,
199
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:09,374
y'know
200
00:15:10,218 --> 00:15:13,053
wear on my body for like the rest of my life.
201
00:15:14,620 --> 00:15:16,259
It's a big commitment.
202
00:15:18,701 --> 00:15:20,578
I sure do like yours alot though...
203
00:15:25,861 --> 00:15:27,419
I gotta take a whiz.
204
00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:42,131
I must piss.
205
00:16:38,185 --> 00:16:41,382
Now some of this next footage may be
too gruesome for some audience members
206
00:16:41,545 --> 00:16:43,536
so viewer discretion is advised...
207
00:16:44,345 --> 00:16:45,903
Police say that the severed head
208
00:16:46,147 --> 00:16:49,502
of QuickieMart proprietor,
Nguyen Kok-Suk,
209
00:16:49,666 --> 00:16:52,180
was still talking when it was discovered,
210
00:16:52,385 --> 00:16:56,015
at approximately 2:39 am,
by a Jerseymaid deliveryman...
211
00:16:56,307 --> 00:17:00,266
...And the San Fernando Valley
Sheriffs Department is still investigating
212
00:17:00,427 --> 00:17:04,385
the bizarre, ritualistic slaying
of his wife and children as well...
213
00:17:04,547 --> 00:17:06,610
It appears that the shopkeeper's wife,
214
00:17:06,627 --> 00:17:08,983
was so distraught over
the slaying of her husband
215
00:17:09,188 --> 00:17:11,781
that she took the lives of her
children, disemboweling them...
216
00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:13,500
Wait just a second there...
217
00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:15,022
disemboweling them?
218
00:17:15,189 --> 00:17:17,701
Yes, Chet, dis-em-boweling them
219
00:17:17,867 --> 00:17:22,101
before taking the knife to
herself in some kind of unusual suicide rite.
220
00:17:22,869 --> 00:17:26,498
The police so far have only one clue to the identity
221
00:17:26,708 --> 00:17:28,826
of Mr. Suk's murderer or murderers...
222
00:17:29,069 --> 00:17:30,980
This skull earring
223
00:17:31,388 --> 00:17:35,383
the type sold most frequently
in rock'n'roll paraphernalia shops
224
00:17:35,550 --> 00:17:38,700
often worn by homosexuals, satanists,
225
00:17:39,110 --> 00:17:41,261
and members of other dangerous cult groups...
226
00:17:41,469 --> 00:17:44,383
Hold it, Sandy.Correct me if I'm wrong,
227
00:17:44,550 --> 00:17:47,190
but don't lots of people,
especially trendy teenagers
228
00:17:47,669 --> 00:17:50,662
following the latest "fad", kids who are
otherwise perfectly "normal",
229
00:17:50,872 --> 00:17:54,659
don't they wear earrings similar to
the one shown here?
230
00:17:55,070 --> 00:17:56,425
Yes, well, Chet,
231
00:17:56,830 --> 00:17:58,182
that is a problem...
232
00:19:07,875 --> 00:19:09,628
Smooth move, ex-lax.
233
00:19:10,235 --> 00:19:11,508
Pinch the bridge of your nose.
234
00:19:13,316 --> 00:19:14,465
Pinch it there...
235
00:19:16,837 --> 00:19:18,030
I'm so fuckin hungry
236
00:19:18,237 --> 00:19:19,190
I can eat my leg.
237
00:19:19,354 --> 00:19:21,155
How 'bout a little foodular action?
238
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:25,674
Welcome to Carnoburger
239
00:19:26,157 --> 00:19:27,590
May I have your orders please?
240
00:19:27,835 --> 00:19:29,953
Gimme the Slop-O-Rama Bellybuster
241
00:19:30,358 --> 00:19:31,472
no onions
242
00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:33,674
A Passion Fruit Slurpster
243
00:19:34,397 --> 00:19:36,752
and aside Curly Q fries
244
00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:39,947
I have some Barbecue Beef Chunks
245
00:19:40,519 --> 00:19:42,554
Some Fried Cheeseballs
246
00:19:43,197 --> 00:19:44,472
And an Evian
247
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:48,269
Diet coke. Extra large.
248
00:19:49,038 --> 00:19:50,995
She never eats when she does crystal
249
00:19:51,318 --> 00:19:52,078
Shut up
250
00:19:52,198 --> 00:19:53,154
That's be all?
251
00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:58,076
I've lost my earring
252
00:19:58,999 --> 00:20:01,432
That'd be... 6 $ 66.
Please pull forward to the window
253
00:20:02,239 --> 00:20:07,234
Jordan, I'm sure. We're like in this total
predicament and you're worried about
losing a fucking earring?
254
00:20:07,918 --> 00:20:09,831
It's got sentimental value
255
00:20:10,479 --> 00:20:13,711
My mom gave it to me when I finally
passed algebra/trig
256
00:20:15,919 --> 00:20:19,515
You can relax your royal sphincter
muscle, your highness.
257
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,353
The crazy machette lady offed herself and her kids
258
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:24,237
so there are no witnesses left.
259
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,196
What?
260
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,794
They're all dead.
It was on the news.
261
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:31,118
You're so full of sheep excrement
it's not even funny
262
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,997
I saw it on TV, so it's gotta be true, right?
263
00:20:36,521 --> 00:20:37,716
Yeah
264
00:20:38,322 --> 00:20:40,677
what if dead guy's head is still talking?
265
00:20:41,602 --> 00:20:43,513
And he tell the cops everything?
266
00:20:47,921 --> 00:20:49,195
Grossify me
267
00:20:50,201 --> 00:20:51,794
Six sixty-six
268
00:20:54,322 --> 00:20:55,233
Sunshine?
269
00:20:55,523 --> 00:20:56,639
Gimme some money
270
00:20:56,842 --> 00:20:58,275
Sunshine, is that you?
271
00:20:58,602 --> 00:21:00,797
I think you must've me mixed up
with someone else
272
00:21:01,203 --> 00:21:03,397
Gonad-face, give me some money
273
00:21:03,644 --> 00:21:04,917
Don't lie to me now
274
00:21:06,963 --> 00:21:08,191
I know it's you
275
00:21:08,444 --> 00:21:11,673
Look, you fucking chunky pumpkinhead!
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about!
276
00:21:12,644 --> 00:21:14,397
Would you just give me some fucking money?
277
00:21:14,604 --> 00:21:16,161
You said you loved me...
278
00:21:17,244 --> 00:21:19,234
You said, you'd never leave me...
279
00:21:19,484 --> 00:21:22,044
It this Night of the Living Brain-dead?
280
00:21:22,486 --> 00:21:25,477
Wake up and smell the cappucino, geek
281
00:21:25,645 --> 00:21:28,033
I don't know you,
I've never fucking seen you before,
282
00:21:28,205 --> 00:21:30,479
I don't know who the fuck
this 'Sunshine' is!
283
00:21:30,886 --> 00:21:32,442
You little whore
284
00:21:33,684 --> 00:21:35,403
You broke my fucking heart!
285
00:21:35,646 --> 00:21:37,203
Come on, Sunshine
286
00:21:37,606 --> 00:21:39,402
give the poor guy a break
287
00:21:39,566 --> 00:21:41,204
Shut the fuck up
288
00:21:41,366 --> 00:21:44,084
and give me some motherfucking money!
289
00:21:46,126 --> 00:21:47,478
Ain't it nice?
290
00:21:48,366 --> 00:21:51,200
I figure, if I can't have you,
no one will
291
00:21:58,967 --> 00:22:01,321
Hey Bartholomew, what's going on?
292
00:22:05,928 --> 00:22:07,326
The bitch
293
00:22:09,127 --> 00:22:10,642
I will find her
294
00:22:11,888 --> 00:22:12,842
and I will kill her
295
00:22:13,409 --> 00:22:16,717
Is it fucking full moon or what?
What the fuck is going on?
296
00:22:17,167 --> 00:22:20,159
You shouldn't have broken his little
old achey heart like that, Sunshine
297
00:22:20,327 --> 00:22:23,603
Cram it, ass-crack
We wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for you
298
00:22:24,208 --> 00:22:26,437
Mellowize thyself, fishwich
299
00:22:27,607 --> 00:22:30,362
Ever considered cuttin' down on
your crystal intake a bit?
300
00:22:30,529 --> 00:22:31,562
Cripes
301
00:22:32,648 --> 00:22:33,558
I have had it with you!
302
00:22:35,049 --> 00:22:36,276
Don't worry, Amy
303
00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:38,765
We're here, we're safe,
304
00:22:38,969 --> 00:22:40,323
everything is cool
305
00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:45,488
Jordan, I just wanna go home and
forget this whole entire nightmare
306
00:22:46,731 --> 00:22:48,879
It's alright, Amy, really
307
00:22:49,690 --> 00:22:52,488
In the morning, we'll figure it all out
308
00:22:56,371 --> 00:22:57,519
Yeah, sure
309
00:23:02,531 --> 00:23:04,010
I'm gonna get ready for bed
310
00:23:06,850 --> 00:23:10,048
brush your teeth before you turn in,
otherwise you'll have cheese-breath
311
00:23:18,973 --> 00:23:21,485
I get the feeling Amy
doesn't like me very much
312
00:23:22,733 --> 00:23:24,451
Don't take it personal, X
313
00:23:25,373 --> 00:23:26,692
She's just a little...
314
00:23:28,172 --> 00:23:30,165
aloof, till you get to know her
315
00:24:47,297 --> 00:24:49,608
I've never seen a tattoo there before
316
00:24:54,379 --> 00:24:55,448
Touch it
317
00:24:57,578 --> 00:24:58,533
Go ahead
318
00:24:59,618 --> 00:25:00,733
Indulge
319
00:25:11,019 --> 00:25:12,499
What's it a picture of?
320
00:25:15,501 --> 00:25:16,694
Can't you tell?
321
00:25:19,060 --> 00:25:20,255
It's Jesus
322
00:25:23,743 --> 00:25:26,652
Why the hell d'you have Jesus
tattooed on your dick?
323
00:25:29,781 --> 00:25:31,577
So people, when I'm boning 'em,
324
00:25:32,180 --> 00:25:33,535
can say
325
00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:35,056
"I've got Jesus
326
00:25:35,620 --> 00:25:36,975
inside me"
327
00:25:47,343 --> 00:25:50,141
I'm gonna vacuum your tongue
right out of your face
328
00:26:03,862 --> 00:26:04,817
Wait
329
00:26:10,983 --> 00:26:11,974
I'm gonna come
330
00:26:12,144 --> 00:26:13,099
Already?
331
00:26:13,783 --> 00:26:16,093
Don't worry, I'm good for
about six times a night
332
00:26:18,903 --> 00:26:20,098
Four at least
333
00:26:20,503 --> 00:26:22,335
How 'bout you? You anywhere close?
334
00:26:24,463 --> 00:26:25,534
Sort of
335
00:26:28,144 --> 00:26:30,102
I can't hold it much longer
336
00:27:11,068 --> 00:27:12,263
Where is she?
337
00:27:13,229 --> 00:27:15,138
Where is my little dandelion flower?
338
00:27:17,069 --> 00:27:18,707
Tell me where she is or
339
00:27:18,907 --> 00:27:22,584
you'll gonna have a mangled stump in
place of that fairy face o' yours
340
00:27:26,788 --> 00:27:28,141
Tell me where she is,
341
00:27:28,309 --> 00:27:30,907
you fucking slimy piece of queerbait!
342
00:27:31,030 --> 00:27:32,702
I'm right here, lovebucket
343
00:27:36,629 --> 00:27:39,224
My pearly-doo drops rose
344
00:27:40,110 --> 00:27:42,419
I missed you so much, my darling
345
00:27:48,951 --> 00:27:51,465
You know I could never live
without you, my bumpkins
346
00:27:51,910 --> 00:27:54,185
I've been dreaming
of this moment for months
347
00:28:01,352 --> 00:28:02,306
Come on!
348
00:28:02,792 --> 00:28:03,861
My pants
349
00:28:07,832 --> 00:28:09,787
My babycakes! My cuddlemuffin!
350
00:28:09,951 --> 00:28:11,782
Please, please, don't leave me again!
351
00:28:12,751 --> 00:28:14,867
Get a fuckin life, dogbreath
352
00:28:17,672 --> 00:28:18,740
Come back!
353
00:28:19,032 --> 00:28:20,305
Babycake!
354
00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:35,063
Ever feel like reality is
more twisted than dreams?
355
00:28:38,833 --> 00:28:39,822
Not again
356
00:28:45,074 --> 00:28:46,269
My fucking arm!
357
00:28:47,433 --> 00:28:48,753
I want it back
358
00:28:49,914 --> 00:28:50,949
Son of a bitch
359
00:28:51,354 --> 00:28:52,390
Jam on it, girlfriend!
360
00:28:53,073 --> 00:28:55,463
Get that fucking thing out of my car!
361
00:28:55,834 --> 00:28:57,632
I'm trying! What d'you think...
362
00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:04,554
God fucking damnit, Amy!
363
00:29:08,075 --> 00:29:10,509
Would you kindly tromp on the
fucking gas pedal?!
364
00:29:19,676 --> 00:29:21,235
Sunshine
365
00:29:21,836 --> 00:29:24,351
You are my one true love
366
00:29:31,597 --> 00:29:35,191
What is with you? Do you have to kill someone
every fuckin time we stop the car?!
367
00:29:35,598 --> 00:29:39,716
Well, pardon me for rescuing your
ingrate ass twice in the same night,
368
00:29:40,518 --> 00:29:42,748
you fuckin furry tuna taco
369
00:29:42,918 --> 00:29:44,476
You don't care about anything, do you?
370
00:29:44,639 --> 00:29:47,072
You have no guilt, no remorse?
371
00:29:47,318 --> 00:29:50,628
You murdered two people tonight
Doesn't that faze you at all?
372
00:29:50,999 --> 00:29:53,194
Yeah, I'm bummed
373
00:29:54,239 --> 00:29:55,353
To the max
374
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:58,630
But it's not like I've never done it before
375
00:29:58,798 --> 00:29:59,758
Excuse me?
376
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:02,954
How many people've you..?
377
00:30:03,962 --> 00:30:04,996
Just a few
378
00:30:05,799 --> 00:30:07,231
and all of 'em deserved it
379
00:30:07,838 --> 00:30:09,317
or wore a uniform
380
00:30:10,959 --> 00:30:12,234
Like my first,
381
00:30:12,919 --> 00:30:15,148
this ugly sow of a parking cop
382
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:19,393
Y'know how they're so full of themselves, they got
their fuckin badge, they think they're all bad
383
00:30:19,999 --> 00:30:21,797
Well, this one lardass cunt tickets me
384
00:30:22,001 --> 00:30:23,480
for bein' in a red zone
385
00:30:23,681 --> 00:30:25,319
for like ten seconds
386
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:29,952
So I'm there in the street arguin' with her
'n' she's just smiling away, writin' me up
387
00:30:30,161 --> 00:30:31,752
I grabbed the bitch by her kinky 'fro
388
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:35,118
and started poundin' her head into
the hood of her nice white
389
00:30:35,319 --> 00:30:36,435
Parking Pig-mobile
390
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:37,432
and then,
391
00:30:37,641 --> 00:30:41,794
I slammed the door on her skull a
buncha times until she was dead
392
00:30:41,962 --> 00:30:43,078
La mort
393
00:30:43,242 --> 00:30:44,231
History
394
00:30:44,442 --> 00:30:46,321
God, would take a reality pill
395
00:30:46,681 --> 00:30:48,161
Hey, I still got the scar
396
00:30:51,682 --> 00:30:54,195
Teethmarks from where the bitch bit me
397
00:30:56,923 --> 00:30:58,150
I tell you,
398
00:30:58,443 --> 00:31:01,879
those cops are like
goddamned savage animals
399
00:31:33,126 --> 00:31:34,274
...and some nachos
400
00:31:46,447 --> 00:31:49,007
That'd be six sixty six
401
00:31:52,966 --> 00:31:55,801
All hail the Coffee and Cigarette God
402
00:31:57,448 --> 00:31:58,675
Where's my change?
403
00:31:58,847 --> 00:32:00,076
Drop dead, dunghead
404
00:32:01,529 --> 00:32:02,847
No Zagnut bars?
405
00:32:03,207 --> 00:32:05,566
Life is a chewy shit sandwich
406
00:32:08,367 --> 00:32:09,480
What now?
407
00:32:09,928 --> 00:32:11,645
Go fetch me some Zagnut bars, wench
408
00:32:11,807 --> 00:32:13,082
Fuck you
409
00:32:13,368 --> 00:32:14,562
You already have
410
00:32:15,928 --> 00:32:16,838
Fucked me
411
00:32:18,288 --> 00:32:19,117
You are such
412
00:32:19,368 --> 00:32:20,484
the prick
413
00:32:21,608 --> 00:32:23,439
Yeah, well, that's not exactly how
you phrased it last night
414
00:32:23,608 --> 00:32:26,637
You think you're funny? You're not.
You're pathetic
415
00:32:31,050 --> 00:32:32,036
Sniff my finger
416
00:32:33,649 --> 00:32:38,533
Sniff my finger 'n' tell me it doesn't smell
like your girlfriend's sweet juicy snatch
417
00:32:38,610 --> 00:32:39,644
I'm gonna strangle you!
418
00:32:39,889 --> 00:32:40,685
I hate you!
419
00:33:02,892 --> 00:33:04,086
He's a liar
420
00:33:04,331 --> 00:33:05,448
Y'know that, don't you?
421
00:33:06,211 --> 00:33:07,360
It doesn't matter
422
00:33:07,691 --> 00:33:10,411
Even if I did get together with him,
and this isn't saying I did or anything,
423
00:33:10,851 --> 00:33:12,331
but if I did,
424
00:33:13,131 --> 00:33:15,727
y'know that it wouldn't actually mean anything,
I mean
425
00:33:16,452 --> 00:33:18,249
y'know that I really only love you,
426
00:33:18,972 --> 00:33:19,932
right?
427
00:33:22,173 --> 00:33:23,368
Whatever, Amy
428
00:33:32,813 --> 00:33:34,805
I wish that we could ditch him
someplace, Jordan
429
00:33:35,213 --> 00:33:37,602
Just get rid of him and
forget he ever existed
430
00:33:40,013 --> 00:33:41,606
He's not so bad
431
00:33:41,774 --> 00:33:42,969
I mean,
432
00:33:43,413 --> 00:33:44,972
he's sorta like us
433
00:33:46,135 --> 00:33:47,362
Lost,
434
00:33:48,373 --> 00:33:50,093
like he doesn't fit in
435
00:33:51,935 --> 00:33:53,287
He scares me, Jordan
436
00:33:54,616 --> 00:33:56,094
Like I don't know what it is,
437
00:33:57,335 --> 00:33:59,565
there's something evil about him
438
00:34:02,136 --> 00:34:03,693
Don't be a cornnut
439
00:34:04,616 --> 00:34:05,605
C'mon
440
00:34:06,175 --> 00:34:07,529
finish your breakfast
441
00:34:08,297 --> 00:34:10,206
Then let's get me some clothes
442
00:34:10,574 --> 00:34:13,329
I feel like a fuckin
frat boy in this toga
443
00:34:31,577 --> 00:34:32,645
Be right back
444
00:34:40,618 --> 00:34:43,337
What's with you? You act like
somebody ate your pet hamster
445
00:34:44,538 --> 00:34:45,608
Well, duh
446
00:34:45,939 --> 00:34:48,817
I am so pissed at you I could
rip your testicles off
447
00:34:49,058 --> 00:34:50,730
and staple them to your ankles
448
00:34:51,019 --> 00:34:53,852
What the fuck did you have
to go and tell Jordan for?
449
00:34:54,579 --> 00:34:55,774
Tell him what?
450
00:34:56,538 --> 00:34:58,290
What d'you think, doorknob?
That we got together
451
00:34:59,538 --> 00:35:00,814
Well, didn't you utterly dig it?
452
00:35:01,258 --> 00:35:02,577
That is not the point
453
00:35:03,258 --> 00:35:05,216
What is the point then?
Get it:
454
00:35:05,379 --> 00:35:08,292
Guilt is for married, old people
455
00:35:09,780 --> 00:35:12,533
You are incredible.
You aren't even human, are you?
456
00:35:13,820 --> 00:35:16,287
You're like a life support system
for a cock
457
00:35:17,940 --> 00:35:19,579
This is so fuckin cher
458
00:35:19,740 --> 00:35:20,776
Look'it this thing
459
00:35:20,981 --> 00:35:22,332
I mean, check it out
460
00:35:22,500 --> 00:35:23,615
Let me see
461
00:35:30,781 --> 00:35:31,737
Can I?
462
00:35:32,820 --> 00:35:34,175
Be my guest
463
00:35:49,702 --> 00:35:52,343
Jesus, it's a fuckin belt
Don't tard out over it
464
00:35:54,903 --> 00:35:56,654
Mon, dad
465
00:35:57,184 --> 00:35:58,172
It's me
466
00:36:01,743 --> 00:36:04,780
I'm uh, sorta takin' a little
vacation with Amy right now and uh
467
00:36:08,705 --> 00:36:11,060
Fuckin machine hung up on me
468
00:36:18,864 --> 00:36:19,899
I'm thirsty
469
00:36:48,025 --> 00:36:49,174
What d'you pick?
470
00:36:51,146 --> 00:36:52,100
Shit!
471
00:36:55,586 --> 00:36:57,941
Jordan, would you listen to me
for a second and forget about
that dweeby game?
472
00:37:05,387 --> 00:37:07,219
Sheesh, Amy, what's the national emergency?
473
00:37:08,627 --> 00:37:11,381
Jordan, would you kindly pull
your head out of your rectal region?
474
00:37:14,427 --> 00:37:16,703
We're accessories to two homicides
475
00:37:17,747 --> 00:37:19,739
Doesn't that concern you in the fuckin least?
476
00:37:23,629 --> 00:37:24,902
Kitten, is that you?
477
00:37:29,429 --> 00:37:30,909
Don't you recognize me?
478
00:37:31,870 --> 00:37:32,938
It's me
479
00:37:34,149 --> 00:37:35,343
Brandi
480
00:37:35,509 --> 00:37:38,023
Your eternal loveslave
481
00:37:38,229 --> 00:37:39,424
Your slave
482
00:37:39,630 --> 00:37:40,745
Look, lady, I don't know who you are
483
00:37:40,911 --> 00:37:43,787
Has this guy shot you full of dope and brainwashed
484
00:37:43,949 --> 00:37:45,430
you like the others?
You're high, aren't you?
485
00:37:46,391 --> 00:37:47,824
- It's me, honeycakes!
- Let me go!
486
00:37:50,190 --> 00:37:52,227
I know it's you,
I can smell your perfume
487
00:37:55,350 --> 00:37:58,343
Get your fucking clammy hands off me,
you crazy bitch!!!
488
00:37:59,991 --> 00:38:01,344
He's kidnapped you, right?
489
00:38:01,511 --> 00:38:04,151
And he told you he'd kill you if you
act like you knew me
490
00:38:04,391 --> 00:38:05,508
Well, don't fret, darlin'
491
00:38:06,072 --> 00:38:07,140
Brandi's here
492
00:38:07,312 --> 00:38:08,427
I'll save you from this heathen
493
00:38:12,832 --> 00:38:14,628
I'm gonna lop
494
00:38:14,951 --> 00:38:17,103
his dick off
495
00:38:17,631 --> 00:38:18,951
like a chicken head
496
00:38:21,031 --> 00:38:23,103
I can't leave you guys alone
for a minute, can I?
497
00:38:46,714 --> 00:38:48,466
Oh God, Bruce
I'm sorry
498
00:38:52,594 --> 00:38:55,155
But that was her, it was Kitten
499
00:38:55,794 --> 00:38:57,547
I know it, I know it was her
500
00:39:04,875 --> 00:39:05,909
The bitch
501
00:39:10,117 --> 00:39:11,673
I'm gonna find her
502
00:39:13,595 --> 00:39:15,110
And I'm gonna kill
503
00:39:16,795 --> 00:39:18,626
This is so nice
504
00:39:19,196 --> 00:39:22,507
Lying here like two spoons stacked in a drawer
505
00:39:24,077 --> 00:39:26,228
I hope we die simultaneously,
506
00:39:27,556 --> 00:39:29,911
like in a fiery car wreck
507
00:39:30,597 --> 00:39:33,591
or nuclear bomb-blast or something
508
00:39:36,638 --> 00:39:38,230
You are so romantic
509
00:39:40,678 --> 00:39:42,190
No, for reals
510
00:39:43,758 --> 00:39:45,954
I don't ever wanna have to miss you
511
00:39:48,839 --> 00:39:49,989
Ditto
512
00:39:50,759 --> 00:39:54,547
Row, row, row
513
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:55,994
your boat
514
00:39:56,599 --> 00:40:00,955
gently down the stream
515
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:10,075
Merrily, merrily, merrily
516
00:40:14,639 --> 00:40:17,712
Life is but a dream
517
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:30,510
Take it out
518
00:40:38,641 --> 00:40:39,677
Stroke it
519
00:40:43,761 --> 00:40:44,797
Squeeze it
520
00:40:48,082 --> 00:40:49,118
Harder
521
00:40:53,242 --> 00:40:54,277
Look at it
522
00:41:00,843 --> 00:41:01,879
Put it in
523
00:41:07,523 --> 00:41:08,956
when I say OK
524
00:41:37,206 --> 00:41:41,085
Don't you think sex is totally strange?
525
00:41:42,166 --> 00:41:43,839
Just the whole idea of it,
526
00:41:45,326 --> 00:41:47,682
this tube of flesh gets stiff
527
00:41:48,646 --> 00:41:50,399
and inserted in these
528
00:41:51,166 --> 00:41:53,157
warm, squishy places
529
00:41:55,727 --> 00:41:59,323
I think maybe it's more powerful
than we'd like it to be
530
00:42:02,488 --> 00:42:04,479
It's fuckin trippy,
531
00:42:05,807 --> 00:42:07,288
that's for sure
532
00:42:09,648 --> 00:42:12,082
It's kinda like eating spaghetti
533
00:42:15,769 --> 00:42:16,836
Why?
534
00:42:24,288 --> 00:42:26,007
You are so great
535
00:42:32,368 --> 00:42:33,768
Hey, that reminds me
536
00:42:35,210 --> 00:42:36,689
I'm hongry
537
00:42:36,849 --> 00:42:38,567
You're always "hongry"
538
00:42:40,368 --> 00:42:42,200
That's cuz I'm a growin' boy
539
00:42:45,810 --> 00:42:49,883
I'm gonna walk to the AM/PM and
get some Shrimp Nuggets or something
540
00:42:51,049 --> 00:42:52,165
Want anything?
541
00:42:53,251 --> 00:42:54,524
More cigarettes
542
00:42:55,611 --> 00:42:56,725
Yes, dear
543
00:43:16,852 --> 00:43:18,286
I love you, fucker
544
00:43:20,052 --> 00:43:21,567
Me too, fucker
545
00:43:57,056 --> 00:43:58,090
Pig
546
00:43:59,575 --> 00:44:00,768
Whatchawatchin'?
547
00:44:10,416 --> 00:44:11,404
Come here
548
00:44:17,496 --> 00:44:18,770
I wanna play a game
549
00:44:20,896 --> 00:44:22,215
I'm gonna start counting
550
00:44:22,816 --> 00:44:25,694
If you crack a smile
before I get to eight,
551
00:44:25,977 --> 00:44:27,409
I get to strangle you
552
00:44:27,776 --> 00:44:28,846
If you don't,
553
00:44:30,776 --> 00:44:33,165
I have to do anything you say
554
00:45:01,619 --> 00:45:02,812
Seven-and-a-half
555
00:45:04,620 --> 00:45:05,735
You win
556
00:45:10,059 --> 00:45:11,014
Go ahead
557
00:45:40,461 --> 00:45:41,498
I'll take
558
00:45:42,262 --> 00:45:43,222
these too
559
00:45:47,302 --> 00:45:49,134
Six sixty-six
560
00:46:00,824 --> 00:46:02,303
What's Jordan's like?
561
00:46:02,822 --> 00:46:03,812
What?
562
00:46:04,022 --> 00:46:06,538
Y'know, his engorged member
563
00:46:07,183 --> 00:46:08,821
His tumescent love missle
564
00:46:08,983 --> 00:46:12,056
His throbbing purple meat scepter
565
00:46:14,025 --> 00:46:15,345
Why d'you wanna know?
566
00:46:16,064 --> 00:46:17,132
I don't know
567
00:46:18,065 --> 00:46:19,381
I'm curious
568
00:46:21,504 --> 00:46:22,777
It's alright,
569
00:46:23,464 --> 00:46:24,499
it's fine
570
00:46:26,944 --> 00:46:29,584
What d'you mean 'fine'?
571
00:46:30,904 --> 00:46:33,056
Is it the size of vienna sausage
572
00:46:33,385 --> 00:46:35,024
or like a baby's arm?
573
00:46:35,704 --> 00:46:38,264
Is it cut, is it uncut?
574
00:46:38,746 --> 00:46:41,863
Does it lean to the left?
Does it lean to the right?
575
00:46:42,106 --> 00:46:44,141
Does it go in a
southeasterly direction?
576
00:46:46,345 --> 00:46:48,542
Is it curved, is it straight,
577
00:46:50,306 --> 00:46:52,617
Is it shaped like a
fuckin corkscrew, or what?
578
00:46:53,986 --> 00:46:56,021
What difference does it make to you?
579
00:46:56,667 --> 00:46:58,464
Does he plunge it into you long
580
00:46:59,505 --> 00:47:00,623
slow
581
00:47:01,226 --> 00:47:02,376
and deep
582
00:47:02,867 --> 00:47:03,981
like this?
583
00:47:04,348 --> 00:47:06,941
Or quick and short and shallow
584
00:47:07,228 --> 00:47:08,500
like a jackrabbit?
585
00:47:11,068 --> 00:47:12,899
Does he make noises like this?
586
00:47:19,108 --> 00:47:20,258
Or does he make it like...
587
00:47:24,470 --> 00:47:26,424
Or, no, he's a whimperer
588
00:47:31,269 --> 00:47:34,705
Would you kindly stop babbling
and fuck me already?
589
00:49:30,797 --> 00:49:31,912
Where you been?
590
00:49:34,037 --> 00:49:35,026
Nowhere
591
00:49:40,198 --> 00:49:42,028
I was worried about you, dufus
592
00:49:43,319 --> 00:49:44,308
Sorry
593
00:49:46,158 --> 00:49:47,193
Come over here
594
00:49:59,920 --> 00:50:01,830
Y'know just because he and I
595
00:50:04,159 --> 00:50:07,674
It doesn't mean that I'm
really like all that
596
00:50:09,240 --> 00:50:10,515
whatever
597
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:13,356
I know
598
00:50:50,522 --> 00:50:51,671
This the currency
599
00:50:51,881 --> 00:50:54,873
we've linked to the December 17th
QuickieMart robbery/homicide
600
00:50:55,081 --> 00:50:55,913
in Tarzana
601
00:50:56,244 --> 00:50:57,130
The suspects
602
00:50:57,484 --> 00:50:59,838
a paramilitary brigade
of three youths
603
00:51:00,801 --> 00:51:04,078
appear to be on a freewheeling
crime spree heading north
604
00:51:04,243 --> 00:51:05,470
We've run a fingerprint check
605
00:51:05,684 --> 00:51:07,481
through the Mother Computer in DC
606
00:51:07,923 --> 00:51:09,914
and thusfar have ID'd
one of the suspects
607
00:51:10,683 --> 00:51:12,002
Amy Blue
608
00:51:12,283 --> 00:51:13,603
Age 18
609
00:51:14,244 --> 00:51:16,554
Height: five-one
Weight: ninetytwo pounds
610
00:51:16,724 --> 00:51:18,521
Eyes: Hazel
Hair: Brown
611
00:51:19,365 --> 00:51:21,559
Cumulative SAT score:
612
00:51:28,604 --> 00:51:31,201
Should be considered armed and dangerous
613
00:51:34,846 --> 00:51:35,806
Gentlemen,
614
00:51:36,245 --> 00:51:37,883
I want you to find her
615
00:51:38,324 --> 00:51:39,804
And if necessary
616
00:51:40,406 --> 00:51:41,366
Kill her
617
00:51:48,247 --> 00:51:49,316
G'morning
618
00:51:53,608 --> 00:51:57,042
Don't kiss me
My breath is like totally skanky
619
00:51:59,888 --> 00:52:01,684
Wait till I brush my teeth
620
00:52:07,528 --> 00:52:08,642
Know what?
621
00:52:11,048 --> 00:52:12,003
What?
622
00:52:12,969 --> 00:52:15,404
This is the first time we've ever slept together
623
00:52:16,008 --> 00:52:17,726
and woken up together
624
00:52:18,849 --> 00:52:20,362
In a real bed, I mean
625
00:52:22,850 --> 00:52:25,601
You are the bright red cherry on top of my sundae
626
00:52:30,208 --> 00:52:31,357
Goofball
627
00:52:35,449 --> 00:52:37,120
Rise and shine, monkeybutt
628
00:52:53,690 --> 00:52:56,603
The itsy bitsy spider
629
00:52:56,771 --> 00:52:59,079
went up the waterspout
630
00:52:59,611 --> 00:53:01,840
Down came the rain
631
00:53:02,291 --> 00:53:03,690
Washed the spider out
632
00:53:03,850 --> 00:53:06,888
I have died and gone to hell for my sins
633
00:53:12,012 --> 00:53:14,128
It's the Dawning of A Brand New Day
634
00:53:16,252 --> 00:53:18,447
Suck my stump to a bloody lump
635
00:53:20,652 --> 00:53:22,405
S'what happened last night?
636
00:53:23,494 --> 00:53:25,245
A Mayonaisse-on-twat?
637
00:53:28,053 --> 00:53:29,806
A Mayo-on-twat
638
00:53:30,172 --> 00:53:31,288
A three-way
639
00:53:32,134 --> 00:53:35,683
A double-stuff.
E.T. finger-touch
640
00:53:36,454 --> 00:53:37,408
What?
641
00:53:42,374 --> 00:53:47,451
Y'know in E.T. where the kid and E.T.
they touch fingers and go "ouch"
642
00:53:53,214 --> 00:53:55,332
You musta been wasted
643
00:54:00,335 --> 00:54:02,211
Ever done that?
644
00:54:05,015 --> 00:54:06,448
You mean, like
645
00:54:07,017 --> 00:54:10,053
have sex with two people at the same time?
646
00:54:15,816 --> 00:54:17,136
It's the best
647
00:54:19,296 --> 00:54:21,254
You start building up this momentum,
648
00:54:21,616 --> 00:54:22,686
this rhythm,
649
00:54:23,295 --> 00:54:25,015
y'know like a piston engine
650
00:54:25,496 --> 00:54:27,214
And as you're all poundin' away,
651
00:54:29,417 --> 00:54:32,408
your balls are slappin' against the other guy's
652
00:54:33,976 --> 00:54:37,175
and you can actually feel his cock
653
00:54:37,817 --> 00:54:39,568
through the girl's insides
654
00:54:41,738 --> 00:54:43,932
What're you two homos gabbing about now?
655
00:54:46,138 --> 00:54:48,014
Have either of you ever
done it with an animal?
656
00:54:48,179 --> 00:54:49,009
What?
657
00:54:50,538 --> 00:54:52,290
Have either of you had
sex with an animal?
658
00:54:52,458 --> 00:54:53,777
Just you
659
00:54:56,257 --> 00:54:57,452
No, really?
660
00:54:58,179 --> 00:54:59,327
Have you?
661
00:55:01,220 --> 00:55:03,175
Well, when I was a kid, we had
this golden retriever named 'Honey'
662
00:55:03,339 --> 00:55:06,298
I do not want to hear any
more of this story
663
00:55:06,498 --> 00:55:08,218
She was a consenting adult
664
00:55:11,260 --> 00:55:13,057
I fucked a cantaloupe once
665
00:55:14,661 --> 00:55:16,935
This song always reminds me of Scooter
666
00:55:17,218 --> 00:55:18,254
Who's Scooter?
667
00:55:19,139 --> 00:55:21,496
He was like my best friend
all through high school
668
00:55:23,462 --> 00:55:27,897
One day he brought a gun to physics class
and told everyone he was gonna shoot
himself in the bathroom
669
00:55:28,060 --> 00:55:29,130
And he did
670
00:55:29,541 --> 00:55:32,771
He was always depressed, always
pulling shit like that,
671
00:55:32,941 --> 00:55:34,579
so nobody believed him
672
00:55:36,541 --> 00:55:37,940
Death's funny
673
00:55:39,581 --> 00:55:42,858
Like at first, it's all weird 'n' you're bummed 'n' shit -
674
00:55:43,863 --> 00:55:46,933
like this person you're used to hangin'
out with all of sudden doesn't like
675
00:55:47,343 --> 00:55:48,821
exist anymore
676
00:55:49,623 --> 00:55:51,933
But then you just get over it 'n' move on
677
00:55:53,182 --> 00:55:54,172
It's almost for the best
678
00:55:54,423 --> 00:55:57,141
I mean, Scooter was so sad all the time
679
00:55:58,584 --> 00:56:02,178
Me and him used to sit in my room,
gettin' stoned, listening to the Smiths
680
00:56:03,784 --> 00:56:06,297
he was over the night before he killed himself
681
00:56:07,143 --> 00:56:11,103
right in the middle of "Unloveable",
he just started cryin' like crazy
682
00:56:11,625 --> 00:56:13,502
He was really into the Smiths
683
00:56:17,905 --> 00:56:19,896
Hey Amy, remember the time we were so
fucked up we lost my mom's car?
684
00:56:20,065 --> 00:56:22,261
After the Thrill Kill Kult concert?
685
00:56:23,464 --> 00:56:27,343
We were so trashed we couldn't
remember where we left the car
686
00:56:27,823 --> 00:56:30,212
We looked and looked
687
00:56:30,385 --> 00:56:32,899
and we walked around and around
688
00:56:33,464 --> 00:56:36,343
but we could not find the fucking
thing to save our life!
689
00:56:36,946 --> 00:56:39,664
We finally ended up taking a cab home
690
00:56:39,825 --> 00:56:41,224
Which you puked in
691
00:56:41,385 --> 00:56:43,057
Which you puked in!
692
00:56:44,346 --> 00:56:45,539
Wait
693
00:56:49,906 --> 00:56:51,737
How revolting
694
00:57:01,106 --> 00:57:02,175
Amy? What?
695
00:57:04,547 --> 00:57:05,535
Oh fuck
696
00:57:46,710 --> 00:57:47,904
Do something
697
00:57:48,310 --> 00:57:49,426
Like what?
698
00:57:49,910 --> 00:57:50,979
I don't know
Something
699
00:57:53,071 --> 00:57:55,744
What, do look like a fuckin veterinarian?
700
00:58:04,671 --> 00:58:06,105
What're you doing?!
701
00:58:14,392 --> 00:58:16,110
Jesus fucking Christ
702
00:58:34,233 --> 00:58:35,792
The world sucks
703
00:58:41,395 --> 00:58:44,146
Bro, snag the import
It's got extra tracks
704
00:58:59,530 --> 00:59:00,434
I just wish I could crawl in here
705
00:59:00,675 --> 00:59:01,869
and disappear forever
706
00:59:04,713 --> 00:59:06,546
Don't you have that at
home already?
707
00:59:11,155 --> 00:59:12,828
I miss my records
708
00:59:17,595 --> 00:59:18,549
Well, well, well, men
Lookee here
709
00:59:18,716 --> 00:59:20,945
Check out that hot,
tight bubble-butt, George
710
00:59:21,316 --> 00:59:23,545
Oh stop, Dan
I'm gonna pop a boner
711
00:59:23,838 --> 00:59:26,556
Hey there, sailor
Like your pretty earrings
712
00:59:26,916 --> 00:59:28,235
Leave him alone, Pat
713
00:59:28,397 --> 00:59:31,513
Can't you see he's a shy,
sensitive flower?
714
00:59:33,438 --> 00:59:34,790
What's goin' on here, man?
715
00:59:35,237 --> 00:59:36,272
No way
716
00:59:36,799 --> 00:59:38,025
It can't be
717
00:59:39,917 --> 00:59:41,033
Bambi?
718
00:59:41,718 --> 00:59:42,991
Is it really you?
719
00:59:44,118 --> 00:59:45,108
Fuck
720
00:59:46,519 --> 00:59:47,791
It's me, George
721
00:59:48,319 --> 00:59:49,592
Your poopsie,
722
00:59:49,918 --> 00:59:51,192
Your snugglybear
723
00:59:51,678 --> 00:59:53,908
Look, smegma-breath
I'm not whoever the fuck you think I am
724
00:59:54,079 --> 00:59:56,355
So will you just do me
a favor and evacuate?
725
00:59:58,479 --> 01:00:00,390
Don't do this
726
01:00:00,760 --> 01:00:02,032
Fuck this shit
727
01:00:06,560 --> 01:00:07,595
Please
728
01:00:34,001 --> 01:00:36,435
Dig it...
Someone made the bed
729
01:00:41,481 --> 01:00:43,870
I just hope we don't catch crabs or something
730
01:00:56,001 --> 01:00:58,756
Life is lonely, boring, and dumb
731
01:01:04,003 --> 01:01:04,913
Jordan, y'want heads, or tails?
732
01:01:12,924 --> 01:01:14,118
Whatever
733
01:01:16,483 --> 01:01:17,519
Heads
734
01:01:18,443 --> 01:01:19,592
Tails
735
01:01:25,284 --> 01:01:26,355
Heads
736
01:01:31,525 --> 01:01:32,514
Oh well
737
01:01:42,526 --> 01:01:43,924
There any more beer?
738
01:01:45,726 --> 01:01:46,953
In the trunk
739
01:01:53,087 --> 01:01:54,315
Have fun
740
01:02:02,168 --> 01:02:03,441
Gimme your finger
741
01:02:08,528 --> 01:02:10,121
Now stick it up my asshole
742
01:02:12,168 --> 01:02:13,999
Repulse me! No way
743
01:02:14,289 --> 01:02:15,197
C'mon
744
01:02:15,368 --> 01:02:17,438
That is the most
sickening, grotesque thing I've ever...
745
01:02:17,608 --> 01:02:18,410
Do it
746
01:02:30,570 --> 01:02:32,366
Nice and easy
747
01:02:52,890 --> 01:02:55,121
"Schoobie, schoobie,
748
01:02:55,970 --> 01:02:57,883
schmoke a doobie"
749
01:03:14,452 --> 01:03:15,568
You're up to bat
750
01:03:16,172 --> 01:03:18,448
Don't tell me you hogged
all the brewskis
751
01:03:26,693 --> 01:03:28,843
Nothing makes me thirstier than a
752
01:03:29,733 --> 01:03:30,927
wicked, excellent
753
01:03:31,572 --> 01:03:32,642
fuck
754
01:03:38,653 --> 01:03:39,802
Go fer it, boyo
755
01:03:48,654 --> 01:03:50,088
X, do you like slamdancing?
756
01:03:50,896 --> 01:03:51,963
It's alright
757
01:03:52,536 --> 01:03:55,173
except when you get someone's
elbow in your eye, or
758
01:03:55,734 --> 01:03:57,770
their steel-toed boot in your crotch
759
01:04:00,095 --> 01:04:01,131
Why?
760
01:04:04,495 --> 01:04:05,645
Have you ever,
761
01:04:06,416 --> 01:04:07,485
I mean,
762
01:04:11,376 --> 01:04:12,775
does it like
763
01:04:12,937 --> 01:04:14,494
all those bodies,
764
01:04:15,336 --> 01:04:17,769
all that sweating
765
01:04:18,496 --> 01:04:20,055
'n' pushing 'n' shoving
766
01:04:21,578 --> 01:04:23,169
Does it give me a hard-on?
767
01:04:29,098 --> 01:04:30,577
Yeah, always
768
01:04:41,938 --> 01:04:44,497
I, uh, better
769
01:05:05,179 --> 01:05:08,216
Do you ever wonder what the
meaning of our existence is?
770
01:05:13,860 --> 01:05:15,931
You ever wonder why we exist?
771
01:05:20,340 --> 01:05:21,456
No, what for?
772
01:05:25,500 --> 01:05:26,570
No reason
773
01:06:15,464 --> 01:06:18,423
Y'ever wonder what the meaning
of our existence is?
774
01:06:20,065 --> 01:06:21,464
You gotta be kidding
775
01:06:22,544 --> 01:06:24,422
No, really
776
01:06:25,224 --> 01:06:26,544
Don't y'think about it?
777
01:06:27,545 --> 01:06:30,583
Christ, Jordan. I'm just about to come.
Can we talk about this later?
778
01:06:32,466 --> 01:06:33,501
I guess
779
01:06:50,706 --> 01:06:52,344
What the fuck're you doing?
780
01:06:53,506 --> 01:06:55,737
Relax, you'll like it
781
01:06:56,947 --> 01:06:59,983
I am not going to "like" your
finger shoved up my shit-chute
782
01:07:00,146 --> 01:07:01,705
That's grodified
783
01:07:02,386 --> 01:07:04,947
Jordan, will you please stop being
such an uptight and live a little?
784
01:07:07,388 --> 01:07:08,661
I dunno, Amy
785
01:07:11,468 --> 01:07:13,379
Take a walk on the wild side
786
01:07:15,067 --> 01:07:16,217
Trust me
787
01:07:26,708 --> 01:07:29,940
Just relax
788
01:08:43,232 --> 01:08:44,065
Shit
789
01:08:44,233 --> 01:08:45,145
What?
790
01:08:46,394 --> 01:08:47,713
What is it?
791
01:08:49,074 --> 01:08:50,426
I gotta pee
792
01:08:51,314 --> 01:08:52,462
Right now?
793
01:08:54,394 --> 01:08:57,512
It's not like I want to get up 'n' go out
into the fuckin freezing cold y'know,
794
01:08:57,794 --> 01:09:00,229
but when Nature calls, it fucking hollers
795
01:09:02,995 --> 01:09:06,271
Just go ahead and let 'er rip while we're all coming
796
01:09:08,115 --> 01:09:10,105
That is so vile and beastly
797
01:09:10,275 --> 01:09:13,473
I can't believe any human being
could even conceive of it
798
01:09:13,756 --> 01:09:16,668
Jeez, little Miss Polly Pureheart
799
01:09:18,956 --> 01:09:20,754
You are a demon from hell
800
01:09:28,678 --> 01:09:30,871
Girls have no sense of adventure
801
01:09:34,998 --> 01:09:36,147
I guess
802
01:09:42,758 --> 01:09:44,271
She better hurry
803
01:09:44,438 --> 01:09:46,315
My woody's startin' to droop
804
01:09:48,119 --> 01:09:49,312
Mine's not
805
01:09:56,279 --> 01:09:58,349
What the fuck??
806
01:09:58,959 --> 01:10:01,520
Two little faggots
807
01:10:01,680 --> 01:10:03,749
sittin' in a bed,
808
01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:06,477
One eatin' ass,
809
01:10:07,079 --> 01:10:08,911
'n the other givin' head
810
01:10:09,320 --> 01:10:11,594
Dirty, pervert scum
811
01:10:12,160 --> 01:10:14,037
make me see red
812
01:10:14,960 --> 01:10:17,428
The world'll be a purer place
813
01:10:17,960 --> 01:10:19,997
when they're both dead
814
01:10:20,680 --> 01:10:22,991
X, man, if this is your idea of a...
815
01:10:23,160 --> 01:10:24,231
Shut up
816
01:10:59,404 --> 01:11:00,518
Leave her alone!
817
01:11:02,043 --> 01:11:02,920
Dan
818
01:11:03,763 --> 01:11:05,593
Please fire up our favorite song
819
01:11:12,604 --> 01:11:14,400
I pledge allegiance
820
01:11:15,483 --> 01:11:16,757
to the flag
821
01:11:16,924 --> 01:11:19,961
of the United States of America
822
01:11:21,445 --> 01:11:22,638
to the Republic
823
01:11:24,046 --> 01:11:25,558
For which it stands
824
01:11:26,284 --> 01:11:27,637
One Nation
825
01:11:27,846 --> 01:11:29,915
Under God
Indivisible
826
01:11:30,365 --> 01:11:31,717
Leave her the fuck alone!
827
01:11:33,125 --> 01:11:34,319
With Liberty
828
01:11:35,484 --> 01:11:36,555
And Justice
829
01:11:40,205 --> 01:11:41,195
You fuckin bitch
830
01:11:46,245 --> 01:11:49,477
You're gonna pay for that, Bambi
831
01:11:53,486 --> 01:11:55,921
Part them succulent meat curtains, darling,
832
01:11:56,566 --> 01:11:59,763
and get ready for the
religious experience of your life
833
01:12:00,569 --> 01:12:01,682
You fucking asshole!
834
01:12:02,487 --> 01:12:03,363
Stop it!
835
01:12:05,967 --> 01:12:07,367
Just be patient, honey
836
01:12:07,888 --> 01:12:09,037
You'll get yours
837
01:12:09,328 --> 01:12:10,762
That's what your mom said
838
01:12:10,927 --> 01:12:12,599
only I couldn't hear her,
839
01:12:13,207 --> 01:12:15,881
she had my sperm gurgling in her mouth
840
01:12:20,850 --> 01:12:22,168
Don't you
841
01:12:22,770 --> 01:12:23,804
ever
842
01:12:24,089 --> 01:12:26,125
Talk about my mother like that!
843
01:12:29,489 --> 01:12:31,684
You... you...
844
01:12:33,490 --> 01:12:34,890
You, dude, are going to die
845
01:12:35,851 --> 01:12:37,443
And you, Bambi
846
01:12:38,250 --> 01:12:41,930
you lying filthy fucking slut
847
01:12:42,450 --> 01:12:43,848
are gonna watch me
848
01:12:44,489 --> 01:12:47,323
help your little fairy boytoy
849
01:12:47,931 --> 01:12:50,319
shuffle off this mortal coil
850
01:12:57,850 --> 01:13:00,001
Kiss your puny,
851
01:13:01,129 --> 01:13:03,043
worthless
852
01:13:04,250 --> 01:13:05,444
cock goodbye
853
01:13:20,131 --> 01:13:22,249
Any last words, queer?
854
01:13:24,693 --> 01:13:25,490
Amy
855
01:13:29,451 --> 01:13:30,602
I love y...
856
01:13:41,814 --> 01:13:44,931
Isn't love a many-splendored thing?
857
01:13:50,215 --> 01:13:51,773
Wake up, loverboy
858
01:13:52,456 --> 01:13:54,490
Open wide and say
859
01:13:54,735 --> 01:13:56,168
"yummy yum yum"
860
01:15:42,382 --> 01:15:43,860
Wanna Dorito?
861
01:15:44,305 --> 01:15:50,445
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